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“Marriage Ruins Happy Relationships” – Read Love Advice Some Parents Gave their Children

BellaNaija.com

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What kind of relationship advice have your parents given you?

People all over the world have taken to secret-sharing app, Whisper, to share some of the relationship advice their parents gave them, Daily Mail reports.

Here is some of what was shared:

Love advice 1 Love Advice 2 Love Advice 4 Love Advice 5 Love Advice3 Love6 Love7 Love8 love9 Love10 love11 Love12 Love13

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Have some relationship advise from your parents you would like to share? Tell us in the comments below!

Photo Credit: Whisper/Daily Mail/Dreamstime.com

53 Comments

  1. Lilo

    August 14, 2015 at 2:09 pm

    Love is not a feeling. It’s a decision.

    • Walker

      August 14, 2015 at 2:38 pm

      I’d go further to say love is acting on a “decision” CONSTANTLY!!!
      We seem to think action follows feelings however, it has been proven by psychologists that FEELINGS actually FOLLOW ACTION. Therefore, by ACTING like you’re in love, you can indirectly bring about the feelings of love you crave/desire. I have seen this happen first hand. Have a great weekend.

    • Elina

      August 16, 2015 at 7:26 pm

      Thank you.

  2. Bleh

    August 14, 2015 at 2:18 pm

    A compilation of useless cliched generalizations. Contradicting itself with every statement.

    • Bola

      August 14, 2015 at 3:48 pm

      If you were as bright as you believe you are. You’d have caught that this is not one long article. It’s little pieces of advice/ opinions of many different people.

    • Bleh

      August 14, 2015 at 4:25 pm

      And if your comprehension skills were as good as you’ve deceived your sorry self to think they are you would have spotted the word COMPILATION in my sentence. Please revisit your primary school books.

    • cryingneversolvedanything

      August 15, 2015 at 6:48 am

      Damn Bleh! You’re mean af

  3. Miss

    August 14, 2015 at 2:24 pm

    Marry your best friend…..more like, make sure your significant other is also your friend because love alone is never enough.

    • DD

      August 14, 2015 at 4:58 pm

      .. So many young weddings you see today they claim they married there best friends, but what if “The bestfriend(man/husband) may not see you(wife) as his bestfriend”????. Some ladies don’t seem to register that at the back of their heads… You pray that he also sees and knows that youre both bestfriends..

  4. RIFF RAFF

    August 14, 2015 at 2:36 pm

    if u’ve been wronged in a relationship:
    Don’t go about engaging in petty quarrels/back-biting/shading and dragging with other rivals or feeling sorry for yourself, messing your pillow with tears and snot. Why? because:

    Success is the best revenge,Create the life of your dreams and then watch their faces as they realize how wrong they were. Watch as the thought hits them: They could have had what you have if they only spent more time believing in themselves and less time and energy trying to break you.
    Finish him/her/them with success and bury them with a smile.
    Got inspired by noticing these traits in Ciara, Beyoncé Linda Ikeji, Kim K to an extent and…. surprise! Toke.

    • Elina

      August 16, 2015 at 7:29 pm

      Thank you for this!!

  5. Temmy

    August 14, 2015 at 2:46 pm

    Your appearance determines the type of partner you get

  6. Rude gal

    August 14, 2015 at 2:51 pm

    Now, everybody becomes a relationship counselor…so who are those with the failed relationships and the ones that ain’t working?????? Forget poetry and live the reality biko..

    • bn lover

      August 15, 2015 at 7:25 pm

      Doctor no dey sick??

  7. Roci

    August 14, 2015 at 2:59 pm

    Mom will say, if he doesn’t respect you……..sweetheart walk out, and keep searching until you see that special someone who worships the very grown u walk on….and she is married to my dad for 0 years…isn’t that wonderful?

    • Roci

      August 14, 2015 at 3:00 pm

      wanted to say ….40 years….Typoooooo….LOL

    • Miss

      August 14, 2015 at 3:45 pm

      ground*

    • Seriously

      August 15, 2015 at 2:53 pm

      @ roci

      Respect is earned, and it’s mutual. It’s important to share the same beliefs, morals and values. And if you have different beliefs, make sure you are ready to deal with what comes with that. And I’m not talking about cheesy I’m a Christian and he is too bcos anybody can be called that. And the word, “best friend” is subjective. My definition of best friend is honesty, genuine care, loyalty, respect and having a bit of understanding of each other character, personality and differences. I’ve heard, oh we talk to each other every day about everything but it’s all useless talk not meaningful conversation. Then you ask the person, what’s his character like he treats me like a queen. Relationship/marriage is difficult but making effort is key.

    • Elina

      August 16, 2015 at 7:30 pm

      Truth!

  8. iyke

    August 14, 2015 at 3:12 pm

    In no particular order, here are few of the the words my mother hammers in my ears regularly!
    * Listen to your heart before you ever say ‘I do.’
    *The secret to a happy marriage is picking the right person in the first place. Unfortunately most young people are not good at it.
    *Learn the skill of ‘pattern recognition,’ at a young age, including the ability to identify certain ‘red flags’ that indicate that someone you are attracted to may be an unsuitable choice for a lasting relationship/marriage.
    *Many people marry on the young side without having enough real life experience!
    *All BAD relationships are hard work – Good relationship makes love so easy!
    * Communicate effectively … Avoid the ‘you’ language and directives for it breeds feelings of resentment and defensiveness on the other person.

    • Mz Socially Awkward...

      August 14, 2015 at 6:10 pm

      The one my mother hammered in my ear in my last relationship with Abz boo was as follows:-

      [Representation of a conversation we had after excitedly breaking the news of being newly boo’d up and she had taken a couple of weeks to digest the matter]
      Mama dearest:- “Are you both going around town together?”
      Lovestruck me- “Yes now, mummy, we’re dating”
      Mama dearest:- “maybe you shouldn’t let people see you together”
      Lovestruck me:- “Ah ah! Why will I be coding like that? What’ll be the reason for hiding him?”
      Mama dearest:- “I just don’t think it’s necessary to be seen together, after all you’re not engaged. You’re just dating and it may give others the wrong idea”.

      Lovestruck me adamantly argued with the woman and insisted that was not how things were done in 21st century relationships and na so she come close mouth siddon for corner. Alas, however, I later came to understand the advice after Abz boo had vacated the scene and my life and so many people finally had the opportunity to ask me with serious wonder about what it was that made me date XX. Apparently, there was a history that I had no idea about and which, upon later revelation, made me sorely wish I had taken mumsie’s advice. After all if I been dey code, I for deny am straight up:- “Who?? Me?? Dating XX, ke??? Ahhhnnn, he’s lying oh! Na only toast he been dey toast me, ohhhh!”.

      Make we dey listen to our mama dem, oh. Dem sabi sumtin small…

    • Tunmi

      August 14, 2015 at 7:45 pm

      I did learn something which is to know as much as possible before bringing them around family. As in dig and dig. You didn’t know the history, but did she?

      We learn and keep learning. There will be others.

  9. dont kno

    August 14, 2015 at 3:13 pm

    Dunno wat all this means anymorE,just fouGht with my husband,dunno if I can call him that anymore.hit me in front of my kids n shows me how much I think he hates me.locked up n my Room cryn n typin wit tears n my heart.i think it’s Enough tried to stay for love n d kiids but wen love or WateveR it is turns into this mayb I shuld run.so scared n I’m prEggErs by d way.sheeesh such a mEss

    • M

      August 14, 2015 at 3:34 pm

      Prayer is the key! Prayer is the master key! After that listen to your heart and decide what is best for you, your hubby and your kids.

    • cryingneversolvedanything

      August 15, 2015 at 6:53 am

      Oh please. STFU with that prayer talk. Jesus is not going to come down and stop him from beating her.

    • INE

      August 14, 2015 at 3:42 pm

      SO SORRY ABOUT THIS KIND OF MESS…BUT YOU NEED TO ENGAGE THE SERVICES OF SOMEONE HE LISTENS TO FOR HELP…HIS PARENTS, PASTORS, MENTOR…PELE

    • Tee

      August 14, 2015 at 4:09 pm

      Talk to someone about how you feel. Seek help ASAP. Do not be silent!

    • me

      August 14, 2015 at 4:28 pm

      ill advise you run for your life, a man that hits you while your pregnant,all dose tellin u to pray,if its deir daughter will dey tell her to wait,abeggi,d children ure trying to protect will have distorted minds wen dey grow.Abeg separate for a while till he comes back back to his senses if he eva does

    • cryingneversolvedanything

      August 15, 2015 at 6:55 am

      Exactly! She needs to leave him. If not for herself, then for her kids because if she doesn’t all she is doing is raising abusers and enablers.

    • PH Boy

      August 14, 2015 at 4:37 pm

      This is so sad and wrong on all levels. This should not happen to anybody and sometimes am close to questioning why God allows things like this happen. It is not in my place to tell you what to do but God shall vindicate you and it shall be well with you. No matter what happens from now henceforth just trust in God, he shall never forsake you.

    • Mz Socially Awkward...

      August 14, 2015 at 5:43 pm

      @don’t kno, I agree with Ine. Get someone who he’s got plenty of respect for to act as a mediator between both of you. And do that as soon as possible… really sorry to hear of your relationship troubles.

    • Tunmi

      August 14, 2015 at 7:49 pm

      He hit you. In front of the kids. Aunty, please leave. Leave. If possible, drop the kids with your parents or some trusted friend/relative. Please leave and collect your sanity and collect your thoughts. If you’re religious, leave first and pray in peace. THEN get someone but you must have a plan. If he can hit you, he can kill you. If he bits you, there is nothing to stop him from killing you. All na accident till you hit the floor or the corner of a furniture a little too hard. You need a backup plan. Do you make your own money? Do you work? You need to establish some form of financial independence.

      Please leave and catch your breath.

    • chigirl

      August 14, 2015 at 9:42 pm

      So sorry about your situation @dont kno. Have u spoken to anyone about it?… Pls dont be quiet, talk to someone, family, his mother, uncle, dad or pastor, someone he respects and listens to.

    • Tinkerbel

      August 14, 2015 at 10:43 pm

      So sorry sis. Just take a step back and hold your peace for now. Take care of your health. Pray for yourself and all that concerns you. God is for you.

    • Ama Ghana

      August 15, 2015 at 2:49 am

      does not exist any more. Love is not something you say, it is revealed through one’s actions. I beg, seek help jor from your parents, a counsellor or what have you. If the abuse continues I beg make you take your bag and walka fast fast. Them no born you to die because of a man. Plus think about the impact on your children having to grow with a violent and abusive father who is quick to hit his wife. Biko biko biko. make una advise yourself well now oo. God be with you and keep praying.

    • ShopperOfLife

      August 15, 2015 at 5:22 pm

      He hit you? I am sorry to read this. What is ur deal breaker? You are NOT a drum and do not deserve to be hit. Enough said.

  10. Pat

    August 14, 2015 at 3:18 pm

    An elderly woman once told me “love is a relationship between two fools”. LOL. That woman never failed to make me laugh. Shoking hilarious stuff just comes out of her mouth when u least expect it.

  11. Yve

    August 14, 2015 at 3:29 pm

    LMAO!!! That typo….

  12. Gap

    August 14, 2015 at 3:53 pm

    @dont kno jst tk it easy darling. Instead of crying God wants you to invite him into your situation. He knows the end from the beginning. I pray the spirit of love dwells in you. Pls asap get this book “The power of a praying wife” by stormie omartian, trust me you will be fine.

    • cryingneversolvedanything

      August 15, 2015 at 7:01 am

      y’all need to stop with this pray shit. Her husband is beating her, she is in pains. He is not going to stop unless she physically does something about it. Stop telling her to chop beatings and pray just because you believe marriage is the end all and be all of a woman. If she dies tomorrow, are you going to tell her to pray from her grave so as to prevent her children from being maltreated by a stepmother?
      You guys never cease to make me laugh with this bs.

    • faith

      August 15, 2015 at 9:04 pm

      young man/ woman…. every1 is giving their advice. ”maturity” is when you can have a discussion on a tough topic without an argument. why not make your point without trying to discredit others? blowing out others’ candles doesn’t make yours shine brighter. # I so submit#

  13. Cunny Eyes

    August 14, 2015 at 3:57 pm

    Marriage is an investment. Do not expect a rewarding profit without taking risks and sacrificing; be predictable in selling your stocks before the market crashes.

  14. Roci

    August 14, 2015 at 4:02 pm

    Thanks @ Miss…lol sometimes i feel like smashing my phone to the wall…..

    Based on the fact that am still learning English tho……lol
    It makes me sound stupid..

  15. Kili

    August 14, 2015 at 4:10 pm

    lol.. Nobody gave me any advice Sha, but my mother used to say to us that any child who doesn’t learn from their (my parents) own mistakes is an idiot….and will forever be one. Lol

  16. ashlee

    August 14, 2015 at 4:21 pm

    To a certain extent, marriage really ruins a happy relationship. Before marriage its an affair between 2 people, after marriage, it becomes the whole village´s affair. Family pressure on the new bride to conceive, this or that relative that wants to come and chill indefinitely in the newlyweds home, one uncle who is always asking for money, the mother in-law who crucifies the daughter in-law for finishing all of his son´s money, since he is no longer sending the usual amount etc. Husband and wife will both react differently to these external pressures which causes friction between the two of them. A couple of years ago, I was set to marry an ex of mine who I believed to be “the one” until I met his family. At first glance, they seemed normal and loving, after spending a week with them (a relative had died so I was helping with the funeral arrangements) I carried my legs and ran as fast as I could. My hubby -to- be looked completely helpless in his mother´s presence let alone his fathers´. Every decision, from the brother´s wives to the sister´s marital homes, his mother was the commander in chief. Even a mosquitoe could not be killed without MIL´s consent. My point is, there is no rush to get married. I am blessed to live abroad, in a society whereby dating a guy does not necessarily mean marriage by force. What matters at the end of the day, is your happiness, not your family´s happiness or society´s happiness but your own cos you are the one that gets to chill in that marriage and bear whatever cross that comes with it. Planning a wedding and walking down the aisle is fun bla bla but there is life after that. The question is are you prepared for it or not. I am just one of those people that strongly believe in pursuing my own happiness at all costs. my parents pursued theirs and are living it, so why can´t I do the same?

    • Kili

      August 14, 2015 at 9:31 pm

      I really like the what you have written up here and I totally agree with this. Makes perfect sense.

    • Passerby

      August 16, 2015 at 8:49 pm

      Very wise and realistic words Ashlee…..we need to go easy on ourselves before we lose our minds over this marriage thing. Life is one day at a time. Stay true to self and don’t live your life based on other people’s pressure standards.

  17. Taiwo

    August 14, 2015 at 5:57 pm

    My mum used to tell me ” You have the privilege of choosing only one member of your family, (your Dad, Mum, siblings, uncles and aunt are chosen for you by others), that is your spouse. Don’t make a mistake!

  18. dont kno

    August 14, 2015 at 6:45 pm

    Thanks guys.done n still doin Wat most of u ave said n hopin For d best but I’m exhausted.glad I shared,feel lik I spoke to my frnds,pple dt get it.dont hv to Call up anyone Else as dt always ends up an issue.My story s for another day guys,appreciate y’all

  19. busola

    August 14, 2015 at 11:32 pm

    I agree dt marriage ruins a happy relationship. when two people are dating,they tend to really enjoy themselves and believe that marriage will follow the same trend but it does not work that way because marriage is a reality check dt comes with a lot of responsibilities. moreova most couples practically giveup on each oda once they are married especially when kids ar now in d picture. dey overluk vrytin and stop putting d efforts dy put when dey wer datin. all dese leads to fight and people who were once in love will now be each odas worst enemy in a lot of situations. So i can definetely relate with the fact dt marriage ruins happy relationships

  20. Ama Ghana

    August 15, 2015 at 2:51 am

    Plz i beg! Its obvious his love doesnt exist anymore

  21. melikey

    August 15, 2015 at 12:50 pm

    Mama : my mama no choose husband for me ,I no go choose husband 4 u,if u select monkey, na u go live with am!

  22. harvest

    August 17, 2015 at 9:38 am

    Hello Dear ‘don’t know’ , it’s realy sad to think u’re going tru such unpleasant situation in ur marriage. Prayer is truely a master key dt opens doors of imposibilities, if u still want ur marriage to work, engage ur self in serious series prayers of faith kuz it’s only God dt has d hearts of even kings in his hands n u can involve a true man God to pray along wit u. Meanwhile, wisdom is necsary, u can still stay put somwia nt around ur husband kuz of d hitting until u begin to see signs of answered prayers/changes in ur husband for good. May God restore ur marriage in Jesus name, Amen..

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