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Partyfully Yours: 10 Commandments of a Bridal Shower



Congratulations, you have been selected to be a Bridesmaid! One of your major duties amongst the many others, is to plan a fabulous shower for the bride. It’s amazing how much feelings and emotions can go into this. Gone are those days when bridal showers could be planned overnight, with zero stress involved.

After planning several bridal showers, and speaking with a couple of Brides and Maids of Honor, we drew up this 10 Bridal shower commandments.

Thou shall choose a convenient date
In planning a shower for the bride, please always remember that the bride is most likely already stressed, and bugged down with many other activities. It is therefore best, that you do not plan her shower/hen night a day to her wedding. A week to the wedding might also not be the best but can be acceptable depending on the circumstance. Brides who have had their shower party very close to the wedding, tend to be distracted, and hence cannot fully enjoy their day.

Thou shall always remember that majority wins the vote
All personal opinions and suggestions cannot be enforced. Except you are speaking directly on the bride’s behalf, please always bear in mind that it is not your shower. Suggestions are always welcome, but do not have to be enforced. We know you want a Tea party, or Hollywood Glam Celebration, but remember it’s not about you.

Thou shall remember the dress code and keep to it
Ladies! We know you hate wearing black outfits. We know you hate floral attires. We know white is your best colour; but again remember the day is not about you. There is absolutely nothing fashionable in going against the agreed dress code. If you sincerely do not have the outfit, then that’s okay. You don’t have to go and buy one, but if you have the chosen outfit, please this is not the time to “Dare to be Different.” Just try to comply, for your darling friend.

Thou shall honour the bride
Honour her with gifts, and also your punctuality to her shower. We understand that times are hard, after spending so much on aso-ebi, bridal train, make-up, bridal shower. The last thing you want to hear is ‘spend again’. But why not complete the chain, get the bride a little gift, no matter how small. She will cherish it forever. Secondly, please try and be punctual, aim to get there before the bride arrives. The more people present during the surprise, the bigger the surprise.

Thou shall not murder
Yes, murder. Murder of the venue, the food, the décor e.t.c. with your comments and attitude. Stop trying to gauge your money’s worth during the shower. It can be negatively contagious and hence affect the mood of the event. All complaints can be addressed later, with the venue/restaurant manager as the case may be.

Thou shall not commit snobbery
‘Snobbery,’ according to Google, is the character or quality of being a snob. This is not a good look. It is very rare that you would have met or be familiar with all the bride’s friends. However, every event or gathering is always an opportunity to network and meet new people. Nothing stops you from walking over to one or two people and introducing yourself. It’s a small world, you never know where you would meet each other again. Come with an open mind, ready to interact and meet new people.

Thou shall leave all aggression at home
It’s amazing how very little arguments can blossom into major quarrels at a bridal shower. No bride will be happy to see her friends fighting or at loggerheads at her shower. Regardless of the interaction you have had with the fellow friends on the bridal shower group, don’t come with aggression. From experience, people are not as bad as they act in a bridal shower group. In addition to this, during the advice session, please give your advice and move on. Don’t overemphasize or force your opinions, always remember that everybody’s situation is different. In life there is no right or wrong answer.

Thou shall humbly accept defeat during a game session
This is the part that is still baffling – how does losing a bridal shower game become a serious issue? We have attended showers where the decision of the winner turned the event into a house of chaos. You are not at a bridal shower to stock up on your body products, or make-up collection. If you lose out on a game, please humbly accept defeat. It is never that serious.

Under no circumstance, shall thou ruin the surprise for the Bride
This must be the most unforgiveable, especially for a bride that loves surprises. If there is an issue and people are finding it hard to take a decision, find a better way of fixing the puzzle. Don’t go to ask the bride for her preference. In the event that you are 100% sure about the bride’s preference, but it is still not generally accepted, it might be better to just let it go.

The bride shall show immense appreciation
Darling brides, regardless of the outcome of your shower, the date, the venue or the number of gifts you received, please show appreciation. It’s not easy to cough out money or the time involved in planning a shower. Please appreciate your friends, and reciprocate the kind gesture, when you have to plan a shower for another friend.

As usual, we always love to hear from you. Please share your experiences and thoughts with us. Which of these rules do you agree or disagree with?

Photo Credit: Dreamstime | Tatyana Vychegzhanina 

Partyfully_Yours is a Nigerian based party supplies , small scale event decor & planning company, established by two friends with a shared vision for party success, with emphasis on bridal and baby showers.  Partyfully-Yours aesthetics is grounded on our love for fun, pretty and swoon-worthy showers and other shenanigans. Website: Instagram : @partyfully_yours


  1. Nammy

    August 29, 2015 at 10:03 am

    I yaf hear, honour the bride, brides are always trying to outdo each other with elaborate showers and the likes. I personally have had bad experiences with brides, after breaking my back for them they failed to show any form of gratitude. So these laws do not apply to me.

  2. tami

    August 29, 2015 at 6:41 pm

    Errmmm…yes I totally agree with the dresscode rule!.. I don’t know why girls just like to be extra sha!.. just compl with what the code is abeg.

  3. Iris

    August 29, 2015 at 8:17 pm

    Why was ‘Thou shalt plan the shower according to the collective pocket of the bridesmaids’ not on the list, ehn? If that problem was solved, half of the commandments listed here would not be needed. I’m getting increasingly irritated with the distasteful and inconsiderate behavior of brides and some bridesmaids who forget that the bigger picture is a day of friendship, love, and sharing, and advice and reminiscing. By the time you get to the shower you’re already so irritated with all the demands, arguments, and surprise expenses because of poor planning and last-minute decisions that you just want the whole goddamned circus show (which is what it is becoming) to be over. My bridesmaid experiences have been pretty decent with only minor irritations but I know someone who is now so traumatized that she doesn’t ever want to be a bridesmaid again and doesn’t want bridesmaids for her wedding. I hear all kinds of horror stories and then they guilt trip you in the name of ‘you’re doing it all for your friend.’ It’s her day’. That’s true. Just make sure you don’t push your friends to the point where after the wedding they ain’t your friends no more.
    Also, maybe it’s just me but as a bride I feel like by accepting to be my bridesmaid, you are the one doing me the favor and not the other way round. So the ‘congratulations’ is for me on landing the best bridesmaids ever.

  4. nomad

    August 30, 2015 at 7:43 pm

    As someone who’s been accused of snobbery in Naija, while being just plain naturally reserved and introverted, I take exception. If you see someone looking a bit out of place, please be friendly to him/her regardless, s/he might just be a bit socially out of depth

  5. Zeeebby

    September 1, 2015 at 9:48 am

    bridesmaids? I have done a few and two years ago i vowed not to ever be one again and i am not having any at my wedding. Bridal showers these days are soooooo over the top….it is well

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