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Episode 9 of ‘Real Talk’ is Here! Watch Stephanie Coker, Illrymz & Ayoola Talk about the Pressure to Propose

Adesola Ade-Unuigbe

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Better late than never, right?

NdaniTV has just released the weekly episode of ‘Real Talk’ with host, Cornelia O’Dwyer.

On Episode 9, Cornelia has a chat with media personality Stephanie Coker, TV host Illrymz and music star Ayoola.

Cornelia O'Dwyer Stephanie Coker Illrymz Ayoola

They talk about the pressure to propose in a relationship while debating on the perfect time in a relationship for a couple to decide to settle down.

When is the right time for a man to propose? Plus should a girl propose to her man when she feels the time is right?

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Watch below.

Adesola is the BellaNaija Head of Content and Digital Ventures. She is a BN stan.. Yes, things are that serious for her when it comes to BellaNaija.com. She's a lover of gist, novels, music, and food. She's constantly trying not to take life for granted. She spends most of her time either keeping up with the world on the Internet or sharing some acquired knowledge about digital media. She is passionate about using her voice to speak against injustice, especially towards women. To communicate with her directly, you can hit her up on: Instagram - @adesola.au Twitter - @Adesola_AU

60 Comments

  1. Andrew

    September 22, 2015 at 4:56 pm

    This illrymz or what ever his name is must have been drunk..Has no clue about what he is talking about..10 years no way!!!I propsed to my girlfriend after 6 months of dating her… When you meet the right person you dont need 10 years to figure it out..Im with Steph and Ayoola on this one

    • ms lala

      September 22, 2015 at 6:15 pm

      He needs to go under the bridge and take a dump. Ladies this guy just pretty much revealed himself. like really a whole decade and your happy being GF and BF. Men like that are the ones that once u dump them , they marry within 6 months.

    • kaycee

      September 23, 2015 at 5:59 am

      I come form posh beginning ? who says that ?. And you have tried what you have castigated others for, but u stopped cos u were bad at it. Gerara here.

    • Gorgeous

      September 22, 2015 at 7:52 pm

      I Have been in Obodo Oyinbo for over 12 years and i dont have an accent. Matter of faact when i speak fone, my speaking becomes complicated and i come from posh beginnings. This fake accents are so distracting and they devalue the show. Please can we have real people like the group of guys we had a few weeks ago. These fake accents are sooo fake. Nigerian accent is so hard to shake off, i know.

    • Manny

      September 22, 2015 at 9:35 pm

      To be fair, these people were most likely born there, or moved there at a very young age One can easily tell the British accent on Stephanie and AyoOla and the American accent on Illrhymez and O’Dwyer.
      I too live in ‘the abroad’ and one thing I’ve learnt is that elocution is more important than the accent. How one talks and pronounces sentences is crucial towards effective communication. The accent is trivial (I and many people in ‘the abroad’ have gotten far in life without pulling foneh)

    • kaycee

      September 23, 2015 at 6:00 am

      I come form posh beginning ? who says that ?. And you have tried what you have castigated others for, but u stopped cos u were bad at it. Gerara here.

    • PurpleiciousBabe

      September 24, 2015 at 10:17 pm

      i agree….
      I like the dark skin dude… He is cute and well spoken. He made sense too……
      I like Steph, she is bae.
      Not sure about fair skin sexuality tho. I dont think he is straight. #justsaying

  2. Tosin

    September 22, 2015 at 5:16 pm

    i didn’t want the voxpop to end. was really hoping it had been extended to half the show’s length at least.
    i’m with illrymz on everybody really calming down if possible. really.
    did Cornelia ask how she is fronting? hahaHA, private message, i’ll tell her.
    they’re all too cute. hey, people are different.

    i want to be a MRS. by the time am twenty-haet
    – Falz (Marry Me)

  3. mee

    September 22, 2015 at 5:33 pm

    I don’t know why this made me irritated. I just felt like slapping someone. Especially the fair guy. I pray every girl, lady, woman knows that she is the price and she is the one with the power to decide who she wants to spend the rest of her life with. I am soooo tired of seeing women treated without dignity. How on earth do you date a girl for 10 years and you don’t know what you want from her? Just yesterday I was listening to a man who has been married to his wife for 40 years and he said he knew within 3 days he would marry her. When will women stop giving these grown boys sex, cook for them, wash their clothes, clean their houses and put up with their immaturity . Yes I said so because anyone who can’t decide within 10 years must have a lot of issues like anger problems, lies etc. what is even most important is TIME. Please I am not talking about biological clock here. I am talking about the endless possibilities of what your life could become if you invested that amount of time. Girl take a good look at yourself. You are greatly loved by God and He has a purpose for your life. This is why I always say ‘ date yourself’ . If you have any value for yourself, you won’t allow any man take you for a ride. kilode. Any man that cannot conclude within 3 months that he wants to wife you, doesn’t know what he wants. This is why I do not support this idea of ‘let us date and see where it goes’. lord have mercy, that is so vague! A lot of girls flaunting that they are in relationships are just in a mess. A real man sees what He wants and doesn’t waste time and will honour you always. Therefore, dating you is to know you better as his wife, Some call it courtship. Even at that girl friend, you don’t begin to wash and clean based on his promise or a ring. NO! Until women begin to close their legs, square their shoulders and see themselves as valuable, grown boys will continue to misbehave. I need to stop here before abeg

    • nene

      September 22, 2015 at 7:25 pm

      gbam

    • Bobolink

      September 22, 2015 at 8:40 pm

      Thank you mee!!! Very well said.

    • Rt

      September 23, 2015 at 12:04 am

      I do agree with most of the things you said,however 3months is too small for one to fully understand his/her partner.

    • Tosin

      September 23, 2015 at 6:59 am

      afi price naa
      #freudianslip

    • pearl

      September 23, 2015 at 7:27 am

      I love u meeeeeeee. U are bae* eyelashes*

    • momo

      September 23, 2015 at 9:48 am

      Hello MEE, I agree with your comments but I do hope that not every woman wants marriage.
      I have been with my boyfriend for 13 years, have 2 kids together and we absolutely love each other and I certainly don’t want marriage. I have a great carrier in the oil and gas sector and I can proudly say I have it all. What difference would a few lines on a piece of paper make?

    • Diuto

      September 23, 2015 at 3:50 pm

      Its gets complicated when legal matters are involved

    • HerExcellence

      September 23, 2015 at 12:43 pm

      Nnna mehn!
      flawless!!
      #word of d week!!!

    • Ndidi Anaeto

      September 23, 2015 at 11:55 pm

      A woman who knows her worth is a powerful force to be reckoned with. A woman who has vision and purpose for her life is even more powerful. Self respect is everything. Ladies you should never be afraid to walk away from disrespect and nuisances all in the name of relationship.

  4. URGHHHHHH

    September 22, 2015 at 5:59 pm

    I’m about to walk from a relationship of 2 years…the guy is not serious and he believes that he’s god’s gift to women…i just can’t deal with guys who don’t know what they want#SODONEWITHNAIJAMEN

    • jane

      September 23, 2015 at 5:04 pm

      You are SHAARP! ABEG if the guy is wasting your time, feel free to get rid of him so that the beta one will come and appreciate your awesomeness.

  5. dayo

    September 22, 2015 at 6:00 pm

    …as far as I am concerned “they” are all drunk drank from the same booze bottle!! This is the youth of Nigeria in a microcosm and not one of them knows anything about marriage. The ONLY REASONS any couple of a man and a woman would spend 10 years with one another are, they do not TRUST one another, and they do not LOVE another. That’s it. Any other reasons besides this is a lame effort to have a good excuse. And this lack of realization among tonday’s youth, is why “their” marriages won’t last, or has failed. Youthfullness spent in promiscuous sexual escapades within the twilight of alcoholism does not a lasting marriage make!!!

    • nene

      September 22, 2015 at 7:26 pm

      wise words

    • iyke

      September 22, 2015 at 8:18 pm

      Completely agree…they are all shallow and immature…..blabbing and shouting with no stimulating analysis of issue at hand.

  6. l

    September 22, 2015 at 6:11 pm

    it was a fun convo… even though i totally disagree with illrymz but i love the different opinions cause it makes the sweetest debate…. Aunty Stephanie Coker i see why “talking is your business” meanwhile who in their right senses will date a guy for ten year? are you okay? did they jazz you? or are you just simply playing with your life? abeg your very qualified to cheat on your boyfriend of ten years….. modern life madness!!!

  7. Tari

    September 22, 2015 at 6:16 pm

    How do women survive with such load on their head?
    See hair!!
    I feel genuine pity for women in this thing called fashion.

  8. Tari

    September 22, 2015 at 6:25 pm

    People still have sex outside marriage without condoms????
    I don’t care how long you have dated use a bloody condom.
    I am even thinking of advocating condoms for married folks.
    No wonder STI is decimating our generation. Folks think screwing uncovered is the classy.
    O ga emegi voom na anya!!

  9. Bee

    September 22, 2015 at 6:28 pm

    No two relationships are the same. However, if you guys live in the same city and hang out almost everyday, by the sixth month you will know if your SO is for keeps.

  10. mee

    September 22, 2015 at 6:37 pm

    Dear bellanaija, why haven’t you posted my comment till now?

  11. nene

    September 22, 2015 at 6:52 pm

    illrhymz u r wicked oh. u don’t think like a matured adult. why date a girl for 10 years? for what na? assuming u have everything in place already (money, etc). no woman should date a man for 10 years, even 5 years is long. f he doesn’t know what he wants after 2 or 3 years, biko stay at ur own risk. stephanie and ayoola made a lot of sense. illrhymz i now know why i never really liked u.

  12. Oh well!

    September 22, 2015 at 7:14 pm

    This topic is just here to wind me up!!! 10years is a joke .. I give you 3months to decide or I am out…
    No one is here for that! smh

  13. kemi

    September 22, 2015 at 7:16 pm

    The host is very pretty!

  14. Sheri

    September 22, 2015 at 7:46 pm

    This is so weird. Here is illrymz somebody I went out with on a date, and dare I say he was obnoxious, full of it and had no chill in trying to bed me on the first date, I got rid of him ASAP. And there is Stephanie Coker who’s current “bae” is chasing me everyday. (I knew him before her ooo) But he keeps denying her and I wonder if she is waiting for the ring.

    Hian. This Lagos is small o…LOL

    • I am not me

      September 22, 2015 at 8:33 pm

      Oya,clap for yourself. You are too hot.. now that we r privy to this info, what shall we do with it?

    • Lawan

      September 22, 2015 at 8:34 pm

      Osheeee hottest Sheri Mango! over finest!!
      LOL 10 years that what ah ah are we playing eternal Jumanji?
      Abeg its not by force to be in a destiny-binding situationship because that’s what it is not a relationship shior

    • hmmmm

      September 22, 2015 at 9:07 pm

      Weird indeed. They are both in relationships and they tried to sleep with you, but NOT keep you. My dear, this is even one step lower than a side chick, it’s called a scooby snack… chop and cut right quick! That’s the program they put you on. LOL

    • Gorgeous

      September 22, 2015 at 9:18 pm

      I think you should be more worried that your partner is unfaithful, instead of jeering at her. The fact is you may actually be on a thin thread in that relationship. Keeping the relationship may be based on if she said yes or know. Now who is the scooby snack. Abi you have not heard of people in a relationship for 5years and the boyfriend marries someone else he met a few months ago. Obviously your boyfriend has not found his bus stop. Pity you

    • Sheri

      September 22, 2015 at 9:44 pm

      Nope! I can lay my head to rest at night knowing full well that both men wanted to establish and STILL want to establish a relationship with me. I know what is being said on my telephone! What we need to establish is that I did and will not give both men a chance. Illrymz specifically because of his attitude on that first day. SAME guy called me repeatedly after. Simple as A B C. I’m saying this because it’s a great way to make aware of Lagos guys and their ways. Nobody is jeering but it’s just amazing because I see the way you flaunt this so called “bae” Stephanie, and HIS materials, (car and house!) and he is yet to make you an official girlfriend. Yes I know that’s you trolling through the comments.

      Bye now.

    • Lurking

      September 23, 2015 at 11:19 pm

      hahahaha ‘Scooby Snack”

    • Wale

      September 23, 2015 at 12:39 am

      Hmmm, the yellow guy I got the gay vibe from him(I should know). I am not surprised he wouldn’t want to marry a woman-repressed, perhaps.
      Regarding waiting for 10yr, Kate princess of Cambridge waited that long, see where it got her.
      Even though I am married and happy, I still question the purpose. It really is not neccessary,y’all! Enjoy your freedom.

    • Smackdown

      September 23, 2015 at 2:58 am

      But may I ask who are you trying to prove this to? …us or yourself?

    • Ada Nnewi

      September 23, 2015 at 12:13 pm

      Stephanie’s “bf” likes to flirt..don’t take him too seriously…He also likes girls in their early 20’s, she’s too old for him…

  15. girl

    September 22, 2015 at 8:13 pm

    I didn’t know f-boyism was automatic, i thought it was a choice but clearly not. The thing is flows in his (ilrymz) blood. Say na foundation, concealer nko ?

  16. Manny

    September 22, 2015 at 9:38 pm

    I agree. Today, a colleague told me she just got engaged after dating her fiance for 5 weeks. On a different note, earlier this year, another colleague who had been dating her boo for 4 years had to tell her boyfriend at the time to move from his position in a bank in Asia back home otherwise the relationship would be called off. Today they are engaged.

    • Manny

      September 22, 2015 at 9:42 pm

      I meant that I agreed with Bee

    • Manny

      September 22, 2015 at 9:59 pm

      O ga o

  17. can we all keep calm

    September 22, 2015 at 10:55 pm

    Three years ago at an office Christmas party, I kissed one of my colleagues, I had broken up with my boyfriend at the time and well the kissing situation happened. Three days later my colleague was like “I like what we did at the party and I want it to continue” (talk about an indecent proposal hint hint). I told him that I wanted to have kids and babies and his exact words were “why are you telling me?”. I got back with my boyfriend and he proposed a few months later. Today the colleague and I were talking about a girl I knew he had been seeing. He said they broke up because she wanted a ring and babies and he just doesn’t think he wants those things at all. I started to thank my lucky stars that I chose the right man because this colleague guy clearly isn’t the marrying kind. Women need to start listening to their intuition a lot more.

    As an aside, I think this was the best episode ever. The banter was amazing and the polarizing view point were good to hear,We can’t all think the same way! We need to stop this bull crap on analyzing people’s accents and calling it fake or whatever. People sound the way they do based on the languages they speak, the external stimulus (be it TV, school, foreign countries) they have been exposed to. I can sound American, British, Nigerian, Zimbabwean heck even Indian at the drop of a hat. None of that makes me FAKE!!

    • Tari

      September 23, 2015 at 8:19 am

      You are fake!!

  18. Rt

    September 23, 2015 at 12:02 am

    I do agree with most of the things you said,however 3months is too small for one to fully understand his/her partner.

  19. Papacy

    September 23, 2015 at 1:14 am

    Maybe they dated since Jss1? I mean I’m just trying to be objective. 10 yrs! Straf one person for 10 yrs no marriage? No pikin? Beht why? If that relationship ends u are both entitled to pension and gratuity.

  20. Smackdown

    September 23, 2015 at 2:59 am

    Ill rhymes has low self esteem. He’s one of those guys who were bullied when they were young, and now feel they have something to prove.

    • Tosin

      September 23, 2015 at 7:10 am

      that’s not what i see. i’m seeing someone that plays open and direct and assumes the chic can take care of herself and speak for herself. makes sense to me. if you’re with someone for 10days or 10years and you’re an open honest human being, it’s because you want to, not because you’re waiting around for a reward.
      i like the other guy too, but would have to train him out of the chauvinism a bit; he plays a bit of a culturally appropriate script and that gets old and insincere fast 🙂
      it’s the girls i don’t understand – almost as if they’re from a different planet lool, planet beyonce. one seems to just say what she’s heard someplace and the other seems to be on a job interview basically wanting to get well paid for having a uterus.
      and the comments are interesting.

  21. Idomagirl

    September 23, 2015 at 4:04 am

    10 years? Why did she stay that long sef? Now to waka go hard because, well, she’s given him 10 years.

  22. momo

    September 23, 2015 at 10:09 am

    *I do hope that you know*

  23. X

    September 23, 2015 at 11:37 am

    Guys mostly do not know what they want exactly in a woman. But when they meet “the one”, they immediately understand what they want. If he dates you for 3 months, 6 months and does not hint at marriage, it is either of three things: 1) he is still unsure about some things about you or about himself, and waiting for behavioural clarity, or breakthrough and this might take time. (he is unsecured around you, does not like some of your habit, or financial stability). He might never commit, until you force his hand by leaving the relationship, he either come around with a commitment or go around for the next babe. 2) Bobo never ready to marry… you can be the best in everything… he is not ready. shikena!! 3) He has decided that you are not the one, but kept you around while he shops for a replacement.. hence the story that touch” we dated for three years, i gave him everything(or not), he broke the relationship and married a girl he met 6 months ago” His shopping paid off ni yen. Simples.

  24. Sugar

    September 23, 2015 at 2:39 pm

    Yes you have a great “carrier” the fear of spellings wont even allow him propose, just continue popping children out for him and he will dump you eventually.

  25. Person

    September 23, 2015 at 3:20 pm

    But why is everyone assuming all women want to get married? Or even have kids? You can be with someone for 10 years and if you don’t want to get married, you shouldn’t have to, especially to prove something to society. Half of the time, I am a 100% sure I don’t want to get married. The other half I am not a 100%, it’s because everyone keeps whispering I haven’t met the right person. I have absolutely no desire to get married. Maybe this will change, maybe it won’t. I am a woman. Do what thou wilt.

    • Niola

      September 23, 2015 at 4:30 pm

      @Person , marriage is not mandatory, you are right and if you have no desire for it that is fine as well, However I believe that if you want to have sex, and have kids, please do so within the confines of a loving and God ordained marriage, you wouldn’t be proving anything to society, it would be simply put it; obedience to God. I understand that you may find such thoughts outdated, but God ‘s word works for our current times too….

    • Person

      September 24, 2015 at 1:02 am

      But why do you assume I am a Christian or even any religion? Quite presumptuous of you. And you don’t have to have sex to have babies sef. I love kids but do you know what I love better? Handing them to to their parents at the end of the day. But if I wanted kids, I may decide to head to the nearest sperm bank. Again, do what thou wilt.

  26. Gidds

    September 23, 2015 at 5:40 pm

    Stephanie you have a loose braid! :p

    • Mayowa

      September 24, 2015 at 1:28 am

      lol i saw that too

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