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Bride Gives Dad “Certificate of Purity” on Wedding Day to Prove She’s Still a Virgin

BellaNaija.com

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An African-American bride presented her father, who is a pastor, with a “certificate of purity” on her wedding to prove that she was still a virgin.

The happy bride, Brelyn Freeman, who married Gospel singer Tim Bowman, Jr. took to her Instagram page to share the news with  the photo below captioned:

“Dancing with my first love. I was able to present a certificate of purity to him signed by my doctor that my hymen was still intact…Also, the covenant he gave me when I was 13. When you honor God, your life will automatically honor others! I love you, daddy.”

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Brelyn & her father

Newlyweds

Brelyn and her husband, Tim

While many have lauded her actions, others have criticized her, stating that her virginity-status isn’t something that should be kept for private knowledge – not broadcast for the whole world to know.

However, Brelyn is not fazed by the controversy, as she sees her actions as a way to draw people to Jesus Christ and encourage other women to remain virgins until marriage.

Photo Credit: Instagram/Brelyn Freeman

61 Comments

  1. Adufe sab

    October 23, 2015 at 11:42 am

    Beautiful. God bless you. Am sure your father is proud of you

  2. NaijaPikin

    October 23, 2015 at 11:49 am

    Certificate doesn’t prove anything tho and I think it sends a negative message albeit unintentionally.

    – your hymen can be broken dup to many other reasons outside of sex. Will all girls with broken hymen automatically be assumed to have had sex?

    There are many sexual acts that do not involve “breaking the hymen”.

    Point is I’m proud of her staying a virgin but her word should be enough (if there’s trust) because this paper does not really prove or disprove much. Jesus focuses on the heart, I wish humans will learn to do the same.

    • RIFF RAFF

      October 23, 2015 at 12:24 pm

      And i can’t wait to see comments like “well was her husband pure?” Sigh.Our women will never be satisfied. You talk about parents especially Fathers failing their daughters but this father transitioned his child from daughter to wife. Not baby mama. Taught her to respect herself. Love herself. Value herself. Know her worth. All that good stuff but all that positive p and it was nasty that she proved her purity to her Father. But if she was out here wilding out the very first thing we would have done is blame her parents.

      We can have Slut Walks….celebrate whoredom….twerk for days….but a young girl keeping her virtue intact…especially in this world…gets mocked. We’ve got our priorities all messed up.

      I think this is beautiful and since she’s young I hope she starts a ministry for young girls.. lawd knows it’s needed in this world.
      Deep down, most of u, if u had the possiblity of re-winding the hands of time, you wouldn’t have made the mistake you made in the name of “love”. Stop with the façade.

    • Funmi

      October 23, 2015 at 1:01 pm

      Well said my darling, God bless your wisdom.

    • Marc Francis of Chelsea

      October 23, 2015 at 1:47 pm

      Having sex before marriage does or getting pregnant doesn’t mean you don’t respect yourself. love yourself, value yourself or know now your worth. It’s a wonderful she was able to hold out till marriage. However I do not subscribe the the line of thought that ascribes some kind of superfluous morality to not having penetrative sex before marriage. You don’t know her. You don’t know her character. You know nothing about her except for the fact that she stayed a virgin till marriage to please her father. This is the entire basis of how we teach girls to devalue themselves based on their sexuality. Don’t you dare say people will as “was her husband pure?” Yes. It is a valid question. She’s being held on a pedestal for “keeping her virtue as a woman* till marriage and he will be celebrated for waiting with her. But do you know what he did with others while waiting for her?

      We need to stop ascribing so much power to sex so our daughters can realise that just because you’re not a virgin before marriage does not make you a whore. It is wonderful if you want to do that, however, it does not increase your value as a woman above others.

    • Nahum

      October 23, 2015 at 2:42 pm

      You missed the part where THE MAN also kept his purity. It was in another article. The whole point of the exercise was to make sure both man and woman were pure for marriage but as usual in Nigeria, we put the focus on the woman, allowing the man to whore around and bring his diseased penis to the matrimonial bed. The focus should be on both man and woman, when we start doing this, I will be the biggest fan.

    • jade

      October 23, 2015 at 8:13 pm

      oh yess to that because trust if i could rewind i would be right there with her…I laud her wisdom. God blee her marriage

    • tilda

      October 25, 2015 at 1:43 pm

      Another article equating women’s worthiness to their sexuality. When will all this nonsense end. Women are more than their sexual organs please. We got brains. You know, the thing hidden behind all that hair between our ears, no not legs. Comeon !!!let’s stop perpetuating this condescending , patronising nonsense. Mchewww. So you are a virgin, that’s your private personnel thing it’s not going to bring about world peace, or even determine the success of your marriage. Please sit down. Mchewww.

  3. Mary

    October 23, 2015 at 11:49 am

    If I could wind up the time , i will go back and do same for so it is such is a profitable thing to work in the ways of the Lord. For the bible says we should not defiled the temple of the Lord, this entails what you eat and do with it .I will also encourage all the virgins to keep their virginity.

    Ecclesiastes 10:10″ If the iron be blunt,…Wisdom is profitable to direct”

    • Amen!!!

      October 23, 2015 at 3:50 pm

      @ Mary Amen sis!!! Yes if I could turn back to hands of time , I wouldn’t make such mistakes. But God gave me a second Chance & I’m thankful I realized it at my early age & on time. And its been the best thing ever!!! I’m still a work-in progress but the Lord has been merciful towards me. I applaud her & her man.. Folks may say it’s hard, but with God almighty ALL things are Possible.

  4. p

    October 23, 2015 at 11:50 am

    i commend her but i think thats just too much at least if she wanted to prove that she kept herself why in public!! oga oh! hope this doesnt become the in thing..

    • X-Factor

      October 23, 2015 at 5:45 pm

      on the contrary i really hope it does…History tells us it was….
      that was before virginity became a vice rather than a virtue

  5. similicious

    October 23, 2015 at 12:04 pm

    Chastity is a great message in this decaying society we find ourselves in. However, while chastity is great, that is not the only quality of a virtuous woman. Its saddening to see women who have been chaste before marriage lose because that is all they bring to the table. The air of entitlement that says ‘that a man should worship me because i was a virgin when he met me” costs these women their homes especially when these women ‘give it ” to a man who doesn’t even know what to do with such a precious gift. ….
    Also, the bride is plain silly because there are still a lot of virgins left in the world. Most humans have religious or spiritual conviction enough to know that pre marital sex is wrong and people will carry on doing just that even if every bride flaunts silly certificates all over the world and before you know it, forged certificates or vaginal reconstruction will be back in business.

  6. lyl

    October 23, 2015 at 12:19 pm

    Rare but very laudible. God bless ur marriage in all sphere.

  7. TANTRA

    October 23, 2015 at 12:27 pm

    This is a good idea but what about those who have been victims of vicious rape who had already sworn to be virgins until their wedding nights? Encouraging girls to be virgins is not enough. More discipline should be instilled on the boy-child.
    Again, I prefer when virgins marry virgins. I don’t like one party to be the only virgin. A virgin deserves a virgin.

    • thisisnotmyname

      October 25, 2015 at 7:40 pm

      Why do I find your “virgins deserve virgins” comment totally creepy?

  8. TANTRA

    October 23, 2015 at 12:31 pm

    On another note, why will you allow your doctor to see your hymen just to prove that you are a virgin? If a man has seen the adult you naked (except in serious medical cases and child-birth), then you are not a full virgin. As a Christian, you should know that. I hope your doctor was a woman.

    • NaijaPikin

      October 23, 2015 at 1:01 pm

      So there are only male doctors abi? No female docs?

      Pls read definition of virgin again. Cos ur definition is def one kind

    • Amiee

      October 23, 2015 at 1:04 pm

      HUH?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

    • Ada_ugo

      October 23, 2015 at 1:30 pm

      Tantra, what exactly are you saying???????????

    • musingsofachristianchick.com

      October 23, 2015 at 10:02 pm

      Errr can you please support your quote with a bible refference, please lets. Not make up things and call them the “christian” thing to do

    • newbie

      October 23, 2015 at 10:47 pm

      TANTRA, you started off almost making my point but then deviated into male v female doctor. Whether the doctor is male or female is not even the issue (afterall a female doctor could be a lesbian). The issue which everyone is missing is that after instilling all these ‘virtures’ in his daughter, this father did not still trust his daughter enough to take her word for it that she kept herself; he distrusted her enough for her to feel that submitting her most private part to a doctor for a non – medically indicated procedure was the only way to prove to her father that she was a virgin. Now that’s sad.

  9. ceetoo

    October 23, 2015 at 12:35 pm

    Groom nko? hin no dey collect certificate too? of either purity or otherwise aka promiscuity. 🙂

  10. Blondie

    October 23, 2015 at 12:39 pm

    But does being a virgin (hymen in tact) signify chastity???? can’t someone masturbate, perform oral sex and still remain a virgin?.. some ladies have their hymen in tact and still please themselves by clitorial stimulation and they experience orgasms,… lolzzz… plz let me stroll off this post before they’ll say i’m hating. Congrats to the bride’s father (it’s clear the certificate was of more importance to him).

    • Mabel

      October 23, 2015 at 8:55 pm

      @ Blondie.. Plastic surgeons perform hymen repairment surgeries every year, sometimes it is for women who were raped or sexually abused, most times it is for women who come from cultures where an intact hymen is required to be considered a virgin. There are virgins who don’t have intact hymen, mostly girls in sports or who had an accident at some point in their life where the hymen ruptured. You are 100% correct, an intact hymen is not an indicator of chastity, just like being a mother does not indicate you have never had an abortion.

  11. Onyi

    October 23, 2015 at 12:48 pm

    The people doubting this or saying it doesn’t mean anything are honestly stupid. It takes a lot to be a virgin in this world where women equate sleeping around with “female empowerment”! The bible says to not fornicate over and over yet Christians continue to do so talking about “God only looks at your heart”. This is true but when you are enlightened and know the truth yet continue to sin-fornicate-it’s not okay! Moving to a more mainstream unreligous school of thought, when sex is removed from the equation, one can actually see clearly what the main point of attraction is in relationship. This comment can go and on, but Brelyn, I commend you, not because this shows you are perfect, because you are not, but because you stood your ground and backed it by your faith in this maddening world where sex seems to rule.

    • NaijaPikin

      October 23, 2015 at 3:02 pm

      Maybe you should read and comprehend before you result to issues.

      – great job she waited.
      – hymen not broken does not mean no sexual activity.
      – you could have broken hymen and still be a virgin.

      So the hymen check is what doesn’t mean anyhing not her choice to remain a virgin. Get it now smart one?

  12. Pedantic Me

    October 23, 2015 at 1:01 pm

    Bella Naija it is ‘faze’ and not ”phase’ in this context.

    • Amen!!!

      October 23, 2015 at 3:55 pm

      Ehn!! English Professors mtchew! Like as if this is an English paper that demand a Citation with MLA format.. Every language/grammatical error is allowed..

    • Reply -> Amen!!

      October 23, 2015 at 4:35 pm

      It doesn’t take anything away from a person to accept correction you know?

    • newbie

      October 23, 2015 at 10:57 pm

      You mustn’t use ‘Like’ and ‘as if’ together, one is redundant. Also, an English paper ‘demands’ not ‘demand’. And no this is not professorial stuff, it’s elementary school basics. You’re welcome.

    • ATL's finest

      October 24, 2015 at 8:33 am

      @ Newbie, that comment was typed specifically for folks like U. Yes, ur tail fell fo it. Keep on correcting for it is well with U

  13. lol

    October 23, 2015 at 1:07 pm

    I mean its weird but she made a vow to her dad and shes keeping it.

    for those virginity doesnt matter people, and so??? what is your business leave her if she decided to wait and tell the whole world she can do it.

    you can be a virgin, you can have sex do whatever makes you happy.

    this is what makes her happy.

  14. Heli

    October 23, 2015 at 1:08 pm

    i would if I could

  15. ajikoko

    October 23, 2015 at 1:28 pm

    Give it to her.She tried it is not easy.

  16. Zee

    October 23, 2015 at 1:37 pm

    I guess the message she intended to pass was: there’s no shame in being a virgin. If people bodly promote immorality, what’s wrong in casting a little light? Lol!

    • Bobolink

      October 23, 2015 at 9:04 pm

      i agree with you @zee. It’s a free world!

  17. augusta

    October 23, 2015 at 1:41 pm

    Very laudable if it was for her own goal but for someone else? Naah men. Did the groom present his own certificate? Why should the woman always be the one whose character is judged. We need to have these expectations of our men too.

  18. Ann

    October 23, 2015 at 1:49 pm

    This is honestly just creepy to me. Her father kee?! Oh alright.

  19. Miss Anoni Moss

    October 23, 2015 at 1:53 pm

    But why… there is absolutely no need to proof to anyone that she is still a virgin, our God that knows and sees all will reward everyone accordingly. I find this very unnecessary like wtf?

  20. no heart to hate

    October 23, 2015 at 1:57 pm

    @ ceetoo Yes oh according to someone who has been following them on their vlog

  21. mdb

    October 23, 2015 at 2:02 pm

    My “issue” with this is that it continues the unhealthy narrative that people have given waiting. Staying a virgin is not for your parents, society or your partner. It is not what you present to anybody. It shouldn’t even be about the state of the hymen. It is something you keep in obedience to God and because of your personal conviction. And it has more to do with the state of your heart. Are your thoughts and actions holy and acceptable unto God? That is the question. The charge is not to keep your hymen but to give your all to God.
    I do not know her personally so I can’t say what her motivation to wait was but, the way or words she has used to share her message may have the wrong effect on people. Someone may read this and immediately think “but I can’t present my father with a certificate” when the thought should be “Have I given my heart and body to the Lord?”

    *As the bride in question is a Christian, I have shared my opinion from that point of view. I am not holding anyone with different beliefs to that standard.

    • Author Unknown

      October 23, 2015 at 2:20 pm

      I believe her motivation was the covenant she had with her father at the age of 13. It would then make sense why this is so important to her to share with him. Kind of a mission accomplished. If you agreed with your dad to get all As in an exam, guess who you would be running to when the results come out and you get all As? Maybe the message really is for fathers to teach their kids the importance of chastity before it’s too late. Good for them, but to each his own.

      Having said that, a balance needs to be struck. While teaching the virtues of chastity, one must be careful not to send the wrong message that your life becomes ‘unworthy’ of God’s blessings or something just because you weren’t able to keep your virginity. In addition, sin comes in many forms, though some people tend to focus only on sexual immorality. The Christian God forgives in ways we can’t comprehend, and that message needs to go along with it.

    • mdb

      October 23, 2015 at 3:22 pm

      Completely agree with you on the message of worthiness. Even our salvation is not because of the good we do. Everything we have and are is by the grace and love of God. As we share the purity message we should also share the message of God’s redeeming love. Christ has paid the price!

  22. Nahum

    October 23, 2015 at 2:49 pm

    God does not want a filthy, whoring man to marry His precious virgins. Men please abstain from sex and keep your purity so that you can meet your virgin bride pure and without sin.

  23. Olori

    October 23, 2015 at 3:06 pm

    Hymen Worshipers Anonymous – a support group dedicated to helping people overcome their addiction to hymen worship and focus on the attainment of true purity. Now accepting new members @ sayolori.wordpress 🙂

  24. ivy

    October 23, 2015 at 3:09 pm

    I was a virgin before I got married. I choose to be one be cause I had a close friend who died of an abortion . We were all just kids and I remember my mum capitalizing on the incident telling us how my friend was in hell now. It really traumatised me and I remain a virgin for that reason. Married for 20 yrs and honestly wished I had dated other men before marriage. My husband is a good provider don’t get me wrong but I feel I missed out on my youth. Having said that I have 3 boys and a girl. My girl is 19yr old. I have never preached to her about virginity on the other hand I always talk to her bout safe sex. For me a father making his daughter promise virginity is taking it too far. There is more to young ladies than their virginas. Maybe a BSC certificate or BA even masters or PHD. That’s my take. Everyone is entitled to their opinions. Plus I think it is double standards if boys are allowed to poke around and then be presented with a virgin on their wedding night.

  25. Missy

    October 23, 2015 at 3:14 pm

    What I learnt from this post : *Singing In Jessie J’s voice” – “It’s all about the hymen, hymen, hymen! Forget about the soul & body, mind.If you wanna make the Lord proud, just keep your hymen!”
    Ladies please take note. Protect your hymen with your life cos once u break it doing whatever, nobody will sign your purity certificate. Daddy will say “get away from me, you harlot”. A word is enough for the wise o!

  26. beast

    October 23, 2015 at 3:18 pm

    Americans manage to grab media attention. this is not new, rev. sisters In the Roman Catholic Church don’t have sex till they die nobody has ever presented any certificate. she for photograph the hymen show us na. lol! rubbish! empty vessels always make the loudest noise. if you are a virgin good for you and by all means preach about chastity for it makes the Lord happy. some non-virgins have changed for the better, seeing this may make them lose self- esteem. please non-virgins who have changed and are now celibate the Lord loves you and knows your heart don’t feel intimidated by this as long as you know deep down you have changed

  27. ElessarisEllendil

    October 23, 2015 at 4:39 pm

    I hope the husband does the proper thing and sends the Mother a very large white goat in appreciation????? And you know tries his best not to be terrible at it.

  28. blah blah

    October 23, 2015 at 5:04 pm

    First of, we are forgetting that america is big on abstinence, purity rings, purity t-shirts and all that good heather lindsey stuff. Secondly, someone felt convicted enough to do honour her husband, her father and her Lord. It is her business. Although she put it up on social media so it’s all of our business, it is still her business. She doesn’t care what you guys think jare. She’s 22. A young adult, a baby even. Her equally young husband was also a virgin. I think it is really cute sha.

    • newbie

      October 23, 2015 at 10:59 pm

      Nah if she didn’t care what people thought it wouldn’t be on social media.

  29. Chinco

    October 23, 2015 at 11:29 pm

    ….and they both grin while she hands him the certificate. Eew!

  30. Mr paks

    October 24, 2015 at 2:25 am

    Well said guys,I know I wasn’t able to read all comments but I really love the comment from the first speaker.The reality of life is that build trust over time with the people we love and such we don’t need to go the extra mile to prove our rights or wrongs,yes I know the intension was to inspire people letting them know that they can abstain from sex untill they marry but then it wasn’t that necessary because if her father truely loves her then I guess he trusted and didn’t need any proof. Let’s build trust more and worry less about being unecessarily detailed,even the bible says let your yea be yea and your no be no.

  31. Joke

    October 24, 2015 at 3:17 am

    Virgin or not oh, there’s something about marriage that requires “covering.” Especially with all these marriages crashing particularly among African Americans, I wouldn’t advise what she did at all. I bet you, some heifers already have them on their “Project list.” Others, please don’t try this oh.

  32. kay

    October 24, 2015 at 8:12 am

    Have a friend that married as a virgin in her early 30s yet no joy in the marriage. The husband still looks at the marriage as a mistake. There is much more to life than virginity.

    • Right

      October 24, 2015 at 11:15 am

      You are right, there is more to life than virginity same way there is also more to life as non virginity, Truth be told She most definitely is not a virgin right now because she can now have sex when it is suitable. Your friends situation cannot be used as a yardstick to condemn or encourage virginity because it could have gone either way.

  33. Justin

    October 24, 2015 at 12:53 pm

    I am 21 and a virgin. I am one because I have not yet met a man that can live up to my standards. I’ve got pretty high standards. I do not find it hard being a virgin. Becos you don’t miss what you haven’t tasted. Non of my friends no that i am a virgin, it’s no bodies business. Therefore no outside pressure. I am not saving myself for marriage just waiting to fall in love not lust with the right guy. There are a lot of reason people rush into marriage and I think some girls who are struggling with virginity Ho into marriage just to taste sex. I believe there is a lot more to marriage than your virginity. After all once you have had sex it’s gone, and then what else have you got to offer.

    • george

      October 25, 2015 at 1:56 am

      Was her purpose of staying a virgin to please her dad. What an archaic notion. It also says a lot about self image and trust. I wonder the sort of narcissistic relationship her dad has with her. I will be thoroughly embarrassed if my daughter felt the need to present me with a certificate of virginity. I no my daughter is kind, hard working, intelligent and beautiful inside and out . Any man who she settles down with will be one hell of a lucky guy. When she does marry I will be the one presenting her with a certificate of the proudest dad on earth.

  34. harry

    October 26, 2015 at 7:36 pm

    Which kind wayo virgin. Please open up for public inspection. After all since you want to declare your state vagina then we have to see proper evidence

  35. Lape

    May 30, 2016 at 3:26 pm

    The doctor who confirmed that her hymen was intact could also have noticed she no longer has her hymen, does that mean she’s not a virgin? There are many women who have fooled the virgin detection system with oral and anal sex and keep their intact hymen. There should be more to determining women’s character than the badge of a bleeding hymen. Why do we not judge men’s morals by the same standard, if he says he’s a virgin, his word is good enough, if a woman says she is, it needs to be confirmed on a doctor’s table. I remember asking how menstrual blood flowed out of virgins? I know better, so can you. read the facts about virginity here : pharmacistreny.com/2016/03/is-she-virgin-im-worried-cos-she-did.html?m=1

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