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Lynda Omerekpe: 7 Crazy Things Men Make Women Do

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dreamstime_l_27243545I was riding home with a colleague last week in his car, it was supposed to be a short journey but lasted longer than expected (thanks to Lagos traffic). During our jolly ride, the ambience in the car changed from 92.3 Inspiration FM to cool R & B music playing from his phone and continued for another one hour. I was quite astounded because he is that guy who doesn’t look like he was ready for love. I said, “Dave, I never knew you were such a lover boy, all these serious love songs, na wa oh. So who’s she?” I asked.

He responded that he’s still searching for her. I asked what kind of qualities he was searching for in a woman and his response was “I just want her to be very fine, and slim, someone that I can pose with when I hang out with my friends in Lekki ”. I asked why he didn’t pick good character first, his response nearly made me choke from laughter.

His answer – a girl who is not fine cannot have a good character. How do I even get to see the character if I don’t like her face? And, in addition she MUST be employed because I don’t want any liability.

Gone are the days when guys were attracted to godliness and good character in a woman; the Ibos will say “agwa bu nma nwanyi” but in recent times the specifics have become more artificial. You have to be anorexic, a ‘yellow paw-paw’, be heavily endowed with an hour glass figure, a big gluteal muscle and full mammary glands. The men are the same people who complain about fake ladies with fake lives and fake bodies but totally forget that they have become extremely artificial in what they seek in a woman, so the ladies decided to become more creative in giving them exactly what they want. Special kudos to makeup artists who can literally change you from a dark skin girl to look like you were born with white genes.

So what are these crazy things women do?

Buy Artificial Butt
This is an extra padded tight that looks and feels like a real butt worn underneath the clothes to make the gluteal muscle look more protruded. This fake butt attracts the guys who are easily swooned by big ikebe.

Buy Fake Hips
This is same with the artificial butt, except this adds extra weight to your hips. When this is worn, you will definitely believe that hips don’t lie because the figure it gives the women who wear it will make the guys drool. I once asked a lady why she was wearing fake hips because the guy will eventually find out. She said the hips were to attract him first, when he comes another strategy will be used to make him stay. (hian… I just cleared my throat & quietly walked away).

Bleaching
Black is truly beautiful and will forever be but there are ladies who have taken this hustle to extreme levels and if it’s to change the colour of their skin that will make them catch this bobo, they will do it. Some call it toning, but the truth will come out when some parts of your body become darker than others or when your skin starts looking pale.

Plastic Surgery
It will be highly unfair to yourself as a lady to put yourself under the knife just to make a man get attracted to you. Brandy made it very clear that it ain’t worth it if you have to camouflage for love; you risk losing your life by doing that so think first before going this far.

Starvation (a.k.a – VIP ticket to ulcer/anorexia)
The likes of my colleague, Dave don’t want an ‘orobo’ so most ladies skip meals & starve themselves to fit into a guy’s ‘lekpa’ criteria. Some become gym rats while others completely lose self-confidence because they don’t think they’re good enough to be loved. Don’t change yourself oh cos some guys like them in full size; like my friend who says if a man rolls twice on the bed and can’t feel his wife’s body, there’s a problem. Some African men still like ‘orobo’.

Heavy Make-up
This level of craze climaxed with the rise of make-up artists; words cannot express the things covered under concealer and foundation and some ladies wear these heavy make up all day. It will be an abomination for le boo or boo-to-be to see them without make up. We forget that our skin needs to breathe, coupled with the fact that it is difficult to weigh the danger associated with the ingredients that go into producing them. Keep it light so there is little discrepancy between the real you and the person behind the makeup.

Going Broke
Some ladies go as far as borrowing money to buy expensive clothes, shoes and jewelleries to fit into a guy’s profile. But why??? These category of ladies are attracted by guys who love them flashy with Mongolian hair, Chanel bag, Louboutin shoes, Tom Ford perfume – the trophy girlfriends/wife for showcasing to the public.

These are the top seven out of many other crazy things guys make ladies do.

Dear woman, there is nothing you can do to keep a man who doesn’t want you and there is nothing you can do to make the man who wants to stay go away. You are not to do the searching, he will find you; when you take up the search role, you become desperate and desperate situations call for desperate actions which means doing some of these crazy things. Do not put yourself in a precarious position that you will regret because of men’s insatiable and worldly desires – a real man who knows what he wants will not look only on the outside but also on the inside. He will not allow you become a shadow of yourself to suit him, instead he will help you discover that true beauty radiates from inside.

To the men – we know you guys are moved by sight and quickly judge by what you see; but beware lest you take upon yourself what you did not bargain for. Beauty is deceitful and also lies in the eyes of the beholder; the bible says he who finds a wife, finds a good thing and obtains favour from the Lord. It did not say he who finds a pretty wife of bootylicious wife. I’ve heard many guys complain in less than a year of marriage and I wonder why – you got served the artificial wife you asked for then marriage finally opened your eyes to see that there is more to life than meets the eye. Apply wisdom.

Photo Credit: Dreamstime | Jeff Coleman

Lynda is a banker and inspirational blogger with a Masters degree in International Business & Management from University of Westminster, London. She is also a fashion lover who encourages people to be positive about life and move in the direction of their dream. She blogs at http://www.lynn-ville.com/

31 Comments

  1. hauwa

    November 2, 2015 at 11:54 pm

    “U got served what u wanted” Lobatan

  2. Kafui

    November 3, 2015 at 12:57 am

    Thank you MsLynn

  3. Ladybird

    November 3, 2015 at 1:38 am

    I think women go all out just to compete with other women.

    • Cindy

      November 3, 2015 at 6:43 am

      Because they have been taught to compete to badge the best guy or so. Lol, I don’t know.

  4. yinkus

    November 3, 2015 at 1:42 am

    i find this rather derogatory, men do not MAKE women do anything. no one is holding a gun to these women’s heads. this is a decision that they make themselves.

    • Surely

      November 3, 2015 at 6:11 am

      Exactly. The most misogynistic piece of shit on earth.

    • Cindy

      November 3, 2015 at 6:51 am

      Okay fine. Let’s all pretend there’s no influence anywhere. I get your point she when I first opened this page. My feminist antennas grew straight. I was like no one can make you do what you don’t wanna do. However, seeing the write-up itself, I just calmed down small to understand the author’s point of view. Truth is pressure is high. I’ve always felt very pressured and insecure for being very dark-skinned and extremely short. Ice spent the better half of my life looking up at people than looking down. There was a period I would fight with the lady who sells make up to me until she gave me a lighter shade of foundation. My love for heels is not from here. That did not get me a boyfriend o. Anyway recently, I’ve been able to work on myself and accept me for who I am. I’ve simply raised my standards too to at least feel better about myself. I can have standards too right?

    • Cross

      November 3, 2015 at 7:40 am

      Seconded. After much probing and prodding, she finally confessed. “The major reason we do it is to show each other (lady) class.”

      Many guys dont know the diff between Mongolian or Peruvian. Just look good and be cool.

    • PH Boy

      November 3, 2015 at 1:35 pm

      And in addition, all those accessories or gadgets are bad for marketing because there are no long term benefits. For me, If i discover ojoro yarsh + other fake tins & tins i will run!

  5. nene

    November 3, 2015 at 7:14 am

    this man is not ready for marriage he’s searching for a trophy girlfriend not even a wife. when he’s ready for marriage his type will change. any man who loves u will love u more for who u are not what u look like.

  6. Onyii

    November 3, 2015 at 7:20 am

    Its the bleaching thing that is really alarming. . I’m naturally light in complexion and So many times I have been approached by ladies asking me what I use on my face and skin and I’m like I have never rubbed body cream on my face, my body cream is rubbed from my neck down. and that is when I remember to apply body cream o.. Infact I have stayed months without using any body cream..

    Even some women go as far as bleaching their little girls. The 4 yr old daughter of my family frined is burnt. thanks to her mother. I dont know what I would call that.

    Women should please learn to love ourselves.

    • chu

      November 3, 2015 at 10:07 am

      What? Bleach a four year old??? That child should be taken form the woman. Can’t believe this.

  7. ACE

    November 3, 2015 at 8:32 am

    Well said I love the part that says” there is nothing you can do to keep a man who do any want you” end of discussion! I don’t have a problem with doing your hair or bleaching your skin or heavy make up, I just can’t stand that fake butt and hips things Lord have mercy! I learnt from a young age to just be myself. Any man who wants you will come to you.

    • Huh

      November 3, 2015 at 9:52 am

      Bleaching ones skin isn’t right at all, fake butt is like using make up and is temporal, but bleaching have long lasting devastating effects.

  8. ACE

    November 3, 2015 at 8:33 am

    *Well I love the part that says ” there is nothing you can do to keep a man who doesn’t want you”

  9. Very Dumb article

    November 3, 2015 at 8:46 am

    BNers and co feminists will say nothing should ever warrant a man do some silly things, even if the lady caused it. Agreed, nothing should warrant it!

    Now, did Lynda just say things men make women do? That is the most dumb thing i have heard in recent times from the adherents of the 1st paragraph. A woman does what she wants to do by being intimidated by other girls. Many are just insecure

    If a man wants you to jump into the lagoon, will you jump as well?
    If the man wants you to bring all your salary, even if your village people dey do you, will you?

    Be who you are, those who will like you will like you.
    Some like them slim
    some like them fat
    some like them fair
    some like them dark
    some like them tall
    some like them short.

    To fit in just means you are insecure, lack self-confidence and suffering from low self esteem

    • Cindy

      November 3, 2015 at 11:59 am

      So what can you as a human do to help the class of people you have mentioned get out of the position they find themselves? Telling someone who is insecure that they are insecure isn’t going to make them stop being insecure. No one was born insecure. Experiences made them that way. So aunty motivational speaker, what do you advise?

    • Very Dumb article

      November 3, 2015 at 12:23 pm

      See the advise in there “aunty Cindy always going after everyone”

  10. Missy

    November 3, 2015 at 9:01 am

    Trust me the pressure is real!!! I have had people tell me that I should thank God that even though I’m so dark, I’m also fine. Or is it when I was in my early teens, people would say ‘don’t stain me o’ or the very obtuse one ‘why are you so dark?’ As a child, those are things you don’t forget. I still don’t know how I didn’t jump on the bleaching bandwagon once I started making money. I wouldn’t go anywhere important without foundation. Is that me being insecure?
    At this stage though, all I want is an even complexion cos my face is still the darkest part of me and even parts of my face are darker than others. I won’t lie, if I get something effective and safe, I’d use it. Not for a man, but to feel good about myself.

  11. Very Dumb article

    November 3, 2015 at 9:28 am

    “the bible says he who finds a wife, finds a good thing and obtains favour from the Lord. It did not say he who finds a pretty wife of bootylicious wife.”

    Did the bible also say he who finds a hunk, tall, dark, handsome rich man? like many of you are looking for?

    Girl leave matter. Men will choose who they want to choose as their partner. Don’t tell them what to do. The same way you have your kind of guy, so also men have their kind of girl.. Dont come advocate nonsense.

  12. Ada

    November 3, 2015 at 9:30 am

    Who are those saying we don’t do these things for guys as well? Make we no come lie to ourselves o! Truth is, we do it for our fellow babes but we also do it for the guys. Left to me, when I come back from work, I go rest well but thanks to the boo’s talk talk, I get home and wear my converse shoes and take a brisk walk (if I run, I go faint). I am not saying I don’t love myself enough to try and be fit, I just love myself more because somebody else loves me and wants me to remain in shape.

  13. Chi!

    November 3, 2015 at 10:15 am

    Thanks Lynda! very nice write up. i love d purpose of ur write up, which is d last 2 paragraphs. u absolutely told we, d womenfolk d truth. God bless u real good. u just made me feel good dis morning.am gonna hav a great day today n afterwards. tanx darl!

  14. bella

    November 3, 2015 at 11:03 am

    Dear woman, there is nothing you can do to keep a man who doesn’t want you and there is nothing you can do to make the man who wants to stay go away

  15. Amazing Lilly

    November 3, 2015 at 11:48 am

    I beg to differ respectfully with the author.

    Most guys don’t really care and cant tell if a woman wears Gucci from head to toe… Only other women notice such things about other women.

    So me thinks most women do this for other women..

    Having said that.. there wuld most likely be a few men that notice such details….

  16. Zeeebby

    November 3, 2015 at 1:56 pm

    MEN, except they want you, you cannot bag them. You can get his attention, time money e.t.c…. but except he wants you, YOU CANNOT BAG HIM.

    Forget makeup, yansh pads, hip pads padded bra and all the other orisirisi. I heard the story of a lady that bleached coz her boo liked light skin babes……MY COUNTRY PEOPLE when he saw what he wanted he left her. she come dey vex. PLEASE DO NOT MAKE DRASTIC CHANGES IN YOUR LIFE BECAUSE OF A MAN

  17. UCEE

    November 3, 2015 at 6:14 pm

    The hustle is extra real for ladies this days. If u re not doing it to compete with fellow ladies, u re doing it to hook and keep your guy. Some, however take it to extremes shaaaa. They ll wear heavy make-up, wear butt-pads, hip-pads, bleach their skin, mehhn. Itsorait shaaaa…….

  18. Susan

    November 4, 2015 at 12:45 am

    This is actually a very good writeup-personally I was/am never insecure. If I dress-I do that to look good and not to impress anyone &that’s all that matters-you don’t have to wear designers to look like a human being* the aspect of bleaching,anyone doing that is just **the after effects are hell.

  19. coco

    November 6, 2015 at 1:42 pm

    to say or even think men make women do all these things listed above is really ridiculous.. no one can influence you if you don’t want to. when lack self esteem, don’t blame it on any body. woman up woman you are beautiful just the way you are. xox

  20. coco

    November 6, 2015 at 1:43 pm

    to say or even think men make women do all these things listed above is really ridiculous.. no one can influence you if you don’t want to. when you lack self esteem, don’t blame it on any body. woman up woman you are beautiful just the way you are. xox

  21. Uzo

    November 9, 2015 at 7:13 am

    Nice one Linda

  22. Adeleke Adeite

    July 21, 2018 at 11:23 pm

    All these for a mannerless and mission-less man? Tufiakwa ?. A man who has destiny to fulfill will undoubtedly put character and creed before curves and contours. However, the pressure in real for those who think they are not good enough. . That’s where self-esteem comes in. ???

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