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Not Afraid of Controversy…Charly Boy on “Making Babies in Poverty”

BellaNaija.com

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dreamstime_s_47331480Charly Boy has no filter! The musician and social commentator has written about one of the most controversial topics, “Making Babies in Poverty”.
Read the father of 9’s article below.

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Go ye into the world be fruitful and multiply, oh! yes that’s what the good book says. However certain people take this literally. They see children as a blessing from God and they view it as their duty to fulfill this prophecy by promoting procreation, rejecting all forms of birth control, including natural family planning.
Children are viewed as a reward from God and the more children one has, the more one has been blessed by God but the big question is, does this put food on the table especially in this hard times?!!

I’m still trying to wrap my head around why the poor have more children when they can’t afford to raise them. And why the rich have fewer children when they can afford to have more. The population demography of any society is vital in Nation building and governments around the world have effected policies to control this growth. A very good example will be China’s one child per family policy, which has now been upgraded to two. It will be commonsensical to say that people breed their kind this means a rich family is most likely to have rich children, and a poor family, poor children. In Nigeria we have a large majority of low income earners who are multiplying the number of children they have. Children they can not afford to take care of. So wouldn’t it make common sense to say that the less one earns, the less children you should have?

This is one of life’s ironies.

People who are rich and can afford to have more children will not yet those that can not afford it do. Low income spouses spend more leisure time together than families of high income earners. It will be typical in our society today, to see a high income family where both couples are gainfully employed, close work late and get home from a hectic day too tired and stressed to indulge in any intimate act but the lower income earner seem to have more leisure time and less distractions to focus on their love plays with their tomato selling wives. Why is this so?

Breeding children has become a recreational sport for the poor, I feel this is an issue that we all collectively as a society need to address. I use to think that it was mostly in the rural areas that this kind of demography is rampant but that’s not the case, the other day I was shocked to find out that a friend’s security guard who earns 30,000.00 naria monthly has two wives and ten children. Hummmmm, How on earth are they going to survive on that, what type of education, feeding, clothing can he provide for them in today’s Nigeria. Don’t they understand that intimacy between spouses is also an occasion to be savored and pleasurably enjoyed and not just for making babies?

We all need to wake up to the harsh effects that this is having. Government needs to have more enlightenment and sensitization programs that will address this issue. There is a need to inform the populace about the harmful effects of having children that one cannot afford to raise properly. The most obvious aftereffects are when you see children hawking in the street in order to fend for their families. This is not an issue for the government to tackle alone, the private sector also has to join in. The first solution will be circulating constant information about family planning: Due to a range of factors including education and location of living, poor women don’t have access to as many family control measures as richer women so richer women have substantially fewer “unintended” pregnancies than poorer women.

For all my brothers and sisters coping with survival I urge you all to think more about family planning, I know God blesses us with children but we must learn to plan our family according to our means. By the way, I have 9 children but thank God my school fees days are over or else e for hard ooooo. So my simple summary today is, cultivate your sperm according to your pocket size. A word they say, is good for the wise.

Photo CreditBillkret | Dreamstime.com

36 Comments

  1. Puzzles

    November 11, 2015 at 11:40 am

    Tell them o!

    But seriously, how many of them have access to the internet to read this?

  2. fynefidel

    November 11, 2015 at 11:47 am

    true talk

  3. Naana

    November 11, 2015 at 11:55 am

    well said…thank you.

  4. Bola

    November 11, 2015 at 11:57 am

    It’s so irritating when you see a driver with 8 kids and 2 wife’s or even 1 wife and 5 kids while Oga has 1 wife and 2 kids. Then they will come and be asking you for help with school fees and getting disgruntled if you don’t give as if you sent him on errand…. People may not have gotten poor by choice but some make decisions that make them remain in poverty and then pass the poverty to the next generation. Stop blaming everyone else for your situation and accept some responsibility.

  5. Nuna

    November 11, 2015 at 12:02 pm

    He is absolutely right!!!! I was just saying this yesterday. Why will someone who is earning 20000 naira be having kids he cannot take care of? He is not even properly married to the girl sef. Its just disgusting how our people think. This is how we breed nuisances into the society, because these kids end up being brought up in serious poverty. And the cycle continues.
    Do not give birth to more kids than you can handle, please think hard and clear before you decide to have children. It is not just a walk in the park. If I’m president ehh, many men will undergo compulsory vasectomy. Seriously!

  6. Ngozi

    November 11, 2015 at 12:03 pm

    I don’t give money to beggars with babies because I have realized that for many of them do it on purpose . having a baby in no way stops you from getting a job, offer those women jobs and watch them disappear. They keep having children to gain sympathy because people are more likely to soften when they see kids. The problem with giving them money is they see it as encouragement and keep on . Now when those kids are no longer cute and people don’t give them money again, they become a menace to society. It’s a vicious cycle

    • Magz

      November 11, 2015 at 1:04 pm

      Thank you! I do not give money to beggars with children o, call me cruel but no i don’t! In fact, there was a small boy one day (he could not have been older than 2 years old), he came out of nowhere and started struggling with me. I was so shocked i asked him where his mother was, he couldn’t give a coherent answer and i had to leave him clutching my umbrella.
      I wish i had seen the mother that day, i would have tongue-lashed her seriously. Leaving kids to fend for themselves, what if someone disappears with the kid.

  7. RIFF RAFF

    November 11, 2015 at 12:06 pm

    The poor man’s bed is very fertile, i tell u. Na dem get twins and triplets pass. And then u see the rich desperately searching for the fruit of the womb, even if na only one girl. Irony of life indeed.

    • hyke

      November 11, 2015 at 12:59 pm

      What is your problem with Girls? You could have just said “One Child”

    • George Esther

      November 11, 2015 at 5:59 pm

      And what if she had said “even if na one boy sef”? You might still have a problem with that and say why should she mention boys when there are girls. Look, when issues like male and female, colour and all other controversial issues come up, don’t be too quick to judge. Relax, until it is mentioned by the writer himself/herself that she meant exactly what you thought. Rather than assume it that way, Ask. Assumption is what starts trouble. If you suspect sth, ASK. Don’t assume.
      You might be right, veeeeeery right though! But hunnie, You might be wrong, so veeeeeeery wrong.

  8. true talk O

    November 11, 2015 at 12:13 pm

    This article radiates with me alot. Unfortunately my family supports alot of families who live in the rural parts of Nigeria. Everytime a cousin has a baby and we are still paying their school fees we know another baby will come within two years. Babies are a blessing but when you have them and others are taking care of them financially it doesn’t make sense in this day and age. Especially when those same people helping you are not having kids for this reason that they cant afford them

    I do think education is key, not only will you want to aspire to something first before the baby making factory starts but you will start to understand why birth control makes a big difference.

    In the end I don’t blame them, once you pop you cant stop it seems. My cousin started when the university were on strike giving him lots if time to be idle before you know it he married the girl and its possible she’s pregnant with number 3 now all in the space of 3 years.

    Meanwhile I’m in England, married and planning my next get away trip. I don’t have lots of money but my priorities are different I guess, we want to explore more of the world together first and as we’re not rich and as things continue to get tougher we know kids wont make it any easier. If I’m lucky to be blessed with two kids in my life I’ll be happy but I’m also aware of the many people who have 10 kids and take advantage of the system here but at least we have a system. So i agree if Nigeria will never offer state help then people need to stop this nonsense and yes I said nonsense. Not only will you suffer but the kids suffer too, as well as the burden you put on family members.

  9. olamide

    November 11, 2015 at 12:36 pm

    He is absolutely right. Am from an humble background but i always tell my mum, i am not living the way some peeps in my neighborhood does. There is a particular man i know who has five children in a single room, what a life? Life is all about decision, we should always strive for the best no matter where you find yourself. Am now a graduate undergoing my youth service and i have promise myself not to have more than i can care for. God help me and my hubby to be. Amen

    • The real D

      November 11, 2015 at 8:21 pm

      @ Olamide..ok this is me doing aproko…but i have always wondered how this people knack the thing with 5 kids in the same room to be able to procreate some more. Even 1 kid in the same room is plenty, not to mention an entire audience of 5.

  10. Xristybabes

    November 11, 2015 at 1:00 pm

    You just nailed it Sir!God bless you

  11. Mamacita

    November 11, 2015 at 1:12 pm

    Who ever can’t afford to take care of their child/children should be neutered, yes I said neutered. Vasectomy kwa, them go gree? Force them, take away that particular privilege. Human right? What human right?!

  12. SR

    November 11, 2015 at 1:13 pm

    he is so right…i have noticed that the poor are the ones who seem to derive pleasure in procreating..

    i remember an aunt telling me once that “” the blessings that are attached to your life can come along when you start having children””

    i aint having kids until i am sure my grandkids are slightly secure

  13. E.A

    November 11, 2015 at 1:13 pm

    Absolutely right, I have also said this numerous times. But its easier said than done in a country such as Nigeria. Those who need this information do not have access to them, I don’t live in Nigeria, but is there free contraception available, if so when those who enquire about them do they always provide or just typical Nigeria respond of corruption supplying such contraception. Secondly we underestimate the negative impact of religion in Nigeria, people will choose not use contraceptions. Muslims, Catholics all use the same logical when it comes to contraception, against their religion. I visited Yagazie emezi page she visited a Fulani Muslim man in Lagos or Ondo that has 35 children and 6 wives in 2015. I’m sorry this is absolutely disgusting. Thirdly overall Nigerians tend to think people are not having sex, do not teach their children about, its all about only have sex in marriage. But the fact is young people are having sex, why do they think there is so much abortion, young girls dying unnecessarily because of lack of health care, access to contraception, abortion clinics. SMH we have a long way to go

    • Idomagirl

      November 12, 2015 at 6:40 am

      From my interactions many people will refuse these contraceptives even if they’re free and readily available. Apart from poverty, there’s also this cultural mentality that children = wealth.
      And then they’re some who claim that contraception is against their religion.

  14. concerned9ja

    November 11, 2015 at 1:15 pm

    Spot on…and you know what?.. he forgot to mention the sexual and physical abuse some of these kids are subjected to…because some of them are sent to some wicked Aunty or Uncle in the city or more commmon as underage housemaids or houseboys.
    Some even go as far as blaming some of their kids ,for their poverty and have gone as far as killing them.
    I feel sick reading about this child abuse everyday via newsprints..blogs…
    More awareness is needed..

  15. Tamales

    November 11, 2015 at 1:27 pm

    Just imagine Nigeria having a welfare system, my people will sooooo milk the system dry.

  16. ochirdslover

    November 11, 2015 at 1:35 pm

    It’s everywhere some will wait for God and others government like here in Germany. You always see angry,bitter women with 5 neglected looking kids and pregnancy ontop.Most are always broke before the next paycheck because of over buying on credit. (Wanting to live large on government support )It’s a pity when you see them owing for months basic things like kindergarten (can be as little as 25€)and light even though they are supposed to pay peanuts coz they are jobless.So some will get yet another child for more money and the cycle continues.It beats my concious to see these children being taken away from the parents coz of neglect and other reasons.You never see rich Christians and Muslims reasoning like this. Some poor people’s reasoning is that children =wealth and that they will grow up to help them.You are in deep trouble if you sit and wait for somebody else to take care of your responsibilities.

  17. Ekyblink

    November 11, 2015 at 2:04 pm

    The worst is when your wedding is paid for by your younger brother and you keep on producing even when you can’t afford their school fee or anything for them. Then if your younger brother doesn’t put your children on the same platform or level with yours you hate seriously. But you have more children than him. And still, the family members blames the wife for making him get envious of the brother. Always coming up with excuses to hate my husband. Mtcheeew!

    THIS ONE IS FOR ALL THE YOUNG MEN WHO MIGHT WANT TI BE SUCCESSFUL IN FUTURE, especially when you are from a humble background. Please and please do not live or house you girlfriend when you are not anyway prepared to marry her because you will be distracted in all level.

  18. Tosin

    November 11, 2015 at 2:23 pm

    He said he has nine, so I feel that gives him cred to talk about this.

    It’s true the divergence in childbearing preferences, but not sure in which direction to panic or campaign, bearing in mind that while some are begging their nationals to have a baby, some are ‘borning’ more than enough. Some are saying ‘demographic dividend’ and some are saying ‘ticking time-bomb’ , on both the high birth-rate and low birth-rate sides of the aisle.

    Summary: It will all be ok in the end. upnaira.blogspot.com.ng/search?q=population

  19. fleur

    November 11, 2015 at 2:37 pm

    Hmmmm. I was waiting to read a line that says “sterilize poor people.” Procreation is the past time of the poor. What they are prevented from achieving because of the system they live in, they make up for with what cannot be taken away -sex, wives and kids. May I say however that chances are they have sex at the same rate as non poor people. The difference? Poor people can afford condoms, contraceptives and abortions in Nigeria. Rich people also have better access to information about the benefits of smaller families. The traditional way ofreasoning for the poor is that given their high mortality rate, having more means you get to keep more. If you have 12, two may die from diarrheal diseases before age 5, 1 from a mishap related to poor living conditions, another maimed from vaccine preventable disease, half of the survivors are unlikely to make it in society so you produce more to increase your chances of that one successful child that will cater for you forever etc. They are trying at some level to not be extinct. Yeah. The solution? educating them about family planning will not work. Give them a society that issues some basic assurances about tomorrow and offers economic mobility and many will have four or less. Give them unfettered access to health care and they will also curtail their urge to not allow the lineage become extinct

  20. fleur

    November 11, 2015 at 2:39 pm

    I meant poor people CANNOT afford condoms…….

  21. purplelove

    November 11, 2015 at 3:37 pm

    I am obsess with this article… this is the best I have read so far this month. Weldon Sir.

  22. xoxo

    November 11, 2015 at 4:44 pm

    The truth is that , they see kids as future financial investments , and hope when the kids are grown , they’ll take care of their financial or material needs.
    But, what are the chances that these kids will end up doing well, when they can’t even afford to send them to school or provide them with basic necessities.
    This selfish mentality as got to change with the so-called ” poor people” .
    Nice write up Uncle Charlie!

  23. isabelle

    November 11, 2015 at 5:29 pm

    An important factor that seems to be left out is education. Can we consider that poor people may not be aware of contraceptive methods and if they are, may not have access to said protection? Family planning resources may not be readily available for people living in poverty so before we judge, we have have to ask what is the environment that promotes said behavior?
    Many of us take our education for granted and assume that what we know and have access to is the same for everyone

  24. Hmmm

    November 11, 2015 at 5:30 pm

    Birth control is free in Lagos State at least and has been since the late 80s. In fact, in the 80s and 90s, the state had a mobile public health campaign that went to all outlying communities unserved by public health centers and offered all of the services and free birth control. Even as a child, I remember so many of those women rejecting “family planning” because only promiscuous women use such, their husbands wouldn’t agree, religion. The infuriating thing is these same women already had so many they could NOT feed, clothe or educate. According to my mother, sex is the poor man’s tv, generator, food and light rolled in one.

    A toaster of mine lost out because his parents had 8 and only educated the first 2 fully. They passed the baton for the remaining 6 to them. Unfortunately, 1 and 2 died and it fell to 3 & 4, toaster being 4. 3 had serious problems but still got someone pregnant and married with wife living with her parents and in laws and husband staying with toaster. Toaster was paying school fees and allowances for 5, 6, 7 & 8, rent and upkeep for his parents, their upkeep, debts left by 2 when he died and his own house rent out of his 80k salary. He was in debt up to his eyeballs and could not imagine telling everyone to fend for themselves. As wonderful as he is, I could not marry him. Is that not setting your children up for problems? If he shifted his funds to me and his children, won’t they tag me a witch?

    • S!

      November 11, 2015 at 10:26 pm

      Lol. In fact witch would be the least insulting thing they brand you. I pity the guy sha.

    • Idomagirl

      November 12, 2015 at 6:42 am

      Thank God you ran from there. See liabilities.

  25. Marvel

    November 11, 2015 at 5:46 pm

    This is so timely. I run a private-social development agency that teaches amongst other subjects; sex education for parents of children 2 to 5, 5 to 8, 8 to 13 and 13 to 18 years of age. We also run parenting courses such as those for married couples, single parents, first time fathers ( as a lot of literature is directed at Mums-to-be) and separating/and or divorcing parents amongst other subjects. I mainly target religious institutions, schools, government.

    From experience, the most negative decision makers are those likely to corner me for advice regarding their own children. Thank you, Charly Boy for highlighting this problematic trend.

    • bellanaija fan

      November 12, 2015 at 12:13 am

      Your agency is it like an NGO.. I am looking for an NGO to volunteer at..

  26. Kikelola

    November 11, 2015 at 9:12 pm

    The author completely neglected to mention the role education plays in the number of children two people opt to have. Statistically, the more educated a person is, the fewer children they have, because there’s a better understanding of the economic impact to the household that each additional child causes.

    People who are at an economic disadvantage, generally lack the resources, and subsequently the education, necessary to effectively use contraceptives.

    My question for the individual who penned this article is, “why have so many kids” even though you’re wealthy enough to care for them? Nine children is excessive. How do you find time to pay each his/her due attention? That’s nonsensical and crazy to me.

  27. sultana

    November 11, 2015 at 11:33 pm

    Lemme give an example. I live in abuja and
    Just behind my office is a makeshift market. It makes life easier cos I get to avoid major market wahala. The lady I buy
    Pepper and tomatoes from just delivered her sixth child, the oldest is about 10. I had to advice her to hurry to the family planning clinic. Haba! This market is illegal so can be demolished any day. Her source of income is very unstable, she has to travel miles every day from her location into abuja town, with little profit margin, usually looks harassed. She doesn’t even have a table to display her wares cos any minute the task force might invade the market.

    The baby doesn’t look well cared for and I can only imagine the condition of the others left behind at home each day. I hope she has been to the FP clinic now before kasala go con bust again.

    She’s hardworking though so imagine if she had just two or even three. . .oh well. . .

  28. jhennique

    November 12, 2015 at 8:04 am

    Sex is the only recreation poor people can afford

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