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Oloruntegbe Oluwaseun: Dragons or Loyal Boyfriends?

Seun Tegbe

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I saw a picture post the other day and it got me thinking.
It read this way:
Me: I want a dragon for Christmas.
Santa: Be realistic 🙂
Me: Ok, I want a loyal boyfriend.
Santa: What colour of dragon you want?

It’s an innocent enough post – one I would have normally just smile about and scroll on; but I was trying to avoid the whooping that was being inflicted on my dear Arsenal FC by a lowly Championship Sheffield. So, on Wednesday I decided to give the post a second thought.

My first thought was that which concerns women to whom I guess the original post was directed. I thought to myself: ‘you know your life needs a new direction when you stand a better chance of getting a dragon than finding a (loyal) boyfriend’.
Women, I guess, find it difficult meeting suitable mates compared to men. However, sometimes I guess women don’t help their own cases. I’ve unfollowed, deleted or unfriended a few ladies from my social media pages just for one reason; they’re dangerously toxic. Always negative, never positive. I constantly see statuses like ‘the people you think got your back, hmmm…. you can never trust anyone, friends that are there for you in time of need are the real friends, and truckloads of horseshit of that nature’. I get that you’re frustrated, but really, no man likes toxic. And you wonder why you’re alone.

Then I started analyzing the post further. The inclusion of an adjective, loyal in this case, qualifying boyfriend got me thinking. Why ‘loyal’? Why not ‘faithful’, ‘mature’, ‘romantic’, or any of the usual chick clichés? Although the word loyal can also be replaced with words like faithful and true which would make more sense, I still couldn’t help but think about the choice of word.

Loyal, which means ‘giving or showing firm and constant support or allegiance to a person or institution’ is obviously not a one way thing.

The ‘loyal’ again raises the problem of unrealistic expectations. Requiring a certain level of dedication and allegiance from a person right from the onset of a relationship without planning on reciprocating such an effort is not an amiable or enviable attribute or character, it’s Hitler stuff, my way or you die.
I’ve had arguments upon arguments about how dating a woman is an investment, and this coming from women. I’ve had friends who are supposedly not ‘hos’ say ‘if you want it you got to pay for it’. You have to admit that’s ‘ho’ talk.

Dating a girl shouldn’t be like an expensive vacation it should be more of a canoe-ride, where two parties are of equal importance, necessity and usefulness if you don’t want your black behinds drowning in the lake.

Then being the neutral nice guy that I am I decided to see that original post in another way, through another spectrum. In this case I had a hypothesis to start up my thought process. Is it that young men are now so promiscuous and irresponsible that women would stand a better chance searching for a long extinct animal than trying to find a ‘loyal boyfriend? I chose ‘young men’ because I want to believe boyfriend doesn’t all of a sudden mean 40, rich and married. But then again, you never can tell with women, chicks be crazy. Men of all ages can be faithful or unfaithful, I don’t think age is or should be the deciding factor. It’s an individual thing. Some women say all men are dogs, but then not all dogs eat their faeces. Some dogs wouldn’t even drop their crap in a public place.

I want to think that men and women alike could behave better. The earlier we realize that ‘bad’ isn’t the new ‘good’, the easier adulthood will be for us. Having three side chicks shouldn’t be a thing of pride, it should land you a trip to the Neurologist’s office, because something must be wrong with your bald skull.

Then my final assessment of the original post. SANTA. If you still believe in Santa as a woman, then you’re definitely not ready for a boyfriend. Your daddy is all you need for now. Cos face it, I ain’t dating no snow girl. That said, we can all do better.

I’ll conclude with these lines from one of my poems:

You want a woman that is a wife material
You need to be a damn good tailor yourself
You want her slim, sexy and tall
You better start hitting the gym yourself

Don’t go around looking for a ready-made
She’s only complete when she finds the right fit
Be useful and mold yourself into the right shape
She’ll be grateful and perfect when you do meet

Photo Credit: Dreamstime  | Michael Zhang

Oluwaseun is a trainee doctor with the Dnipropetrovsk Medical Institute, Ukraine who has a knack for writing. He likes to exercise his imaginations poetically.He loves good music and plays the Piano. He's published a book ALiSA THE ODESSA BRiDE and runs his own blog at www.seunlight.blogspot.com

12 Comments

  1. Ara

    November 1, 2015 at 8:38 pm

    your thinking is fair enough

  2. Hia

    November 1, 2015 at 8:43 pm

    Someone took an innocent joke way too seriously. And this article is all over the place by the way. I guess you burst into flames at the mere thought that arsenal keeps losing to the almighty Chelsea even when Chelsea is in their worst form. Lmaoo. You’ll be aii.

  3. emily

    November 1, 2015 at 8:49 pm

    ‘bad’ isn’t the new ‘good’ at all at all.
    I’m really fed up with all these poor relationships, infidelity, just the whole negativity….
    They’re so discouraging!
    May God help us all.

  4. Open Sesame

    November 1, 2015 at 8:58 pm

    Gosh…this is really all over the place. I was face palming the whole way through.

    It’d have been easier to chuckle at the joke & moved on.

  5. Liv

    November 2, 2015 at 8:31 am

    Lol, why so serious. Nobody said women believe in Santa , it’s just a joke

  6. DAME

    November 2, 2015 at 9:05 am

    This article was just all over the place…BRB

  7. oae

    November 2, 2015 at 9:38 am

    There’s always an icon of truth in every joke you say or hear!!!

  8. Dragonslayer

    November 2, 2015 at 10:03 am

    A dragon is a mythical creature not a long extinct animal. Lost me at that point.

    • mke

      November 2, 2015 at 8:43 pm

      hahahahahahahaahahahahaha………………. choi…………..me sef see am

    • Seun Tegbe

      Oluwaseun Oloruntegbe

      November 4, 2015 at 6:27 pm

      I have to accept that one, silly mistake on my part, I’m kicking myself for not spotting that. I was probably thinking of dinosaurs, but good eye for spotting that. Well done. I’ll be more thorough in the future

  9. abla

    November 3, 2015 at 11:58 pm

    Disappointing that the article should have been about how impossible it is to find a loyal boyfriend nowadays, yet the author just kept talking about women and how we behave in relation to men of today. Please, its near impossible to find a loyal boyfriend and i’d prefer you wrote an article on a mans point of view, what makes men so disloyal to their women, thank you

    • Seun Tegbe

      Oluwaseun Oloruntegbe

      November 4, 2015 at 6:23 pm

      I tried to be neutral, but probably I wasn’t neutral enough. I’m not sure if I have a specific answer to why men are disloyal, but I accept the challenge, to write from a man’s point of view. I am a man and I think I should be able to do that. Working on it… For the mean time, be the best you can Abla, and be safe.

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