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Isio Knows Better: When Women Reserve the Ugliest Stares for Each Other

Isio De-laVega

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Isio 3I was 17 when I noticed something really peculiar about many Lagos girls.
I was just back from boarding school and my dad had enrolled my sister and I in a Jamb lesson not too far away from my home. So, on that day, I was walking home when I felt eyes on me… I swung my face to the left just in time to see a car drive past. Behind the wheel was a guy who kept his face on the road, but on the passenger’s side was a young woman who stared me down with bile and barely concealed suspicion.
Haba! Womanly… Wetin I do you? I thought the dragon-glare was weird, but I just shook it off and went home.

Over the next decade and-a-half I have noticed to my amusement the dragon-eyes many “young” Lagos-females seem to reserve for other women-folk. I got used to it, I mean… it’s just what some women do… Especially at The Palms, any club, lounge, restaurant, super-market, or church sef.
All you need to do as a female is just go out of your house in Lagos. Should you come across a couple, 8-out-of-10, chances are that the female will stare you down with dragon eyes. Like your being alive and daring to breathe is offensive enough.

So, what is this thing, and why do many women do it?

Well, I think it is a mix of insecurity and fear, with the assumption that other people/women want what you have. This is a stretch at best, and paranoia at its worst. Internalized and expelled through body language to every one you meet who could be you.

So, why do we women think other women want what we have? I don’t know. For sure, some people do… (Usually and sadly, it is the people you know, and not the stranger at the supermarket.) I remember in school, a friend congratulated a mutual friend on her new relationship with a guy, who was a bit of a nerd. The nerd had loved this girl for the longest time. So, when she, as a popular girl started dating him, well… the advising friend warned her to be careful, because “everybody would want him now that she had him.”

Choi… women can be complicated sha. See advice. Poor girl, just about to start a new, beautiful relationship and can’t even relax and enjoy the thing. She, subconsciously carrying the burden and fear that there is an army of women ready to betray and displace her.

I hear so many women complain about losing friends once they start a relationship, or get married. Truly, there are a dime a dozen reasons why this could happen. If you are insecure about your relationship, your partner’s appetite and distrustful of every female, and you really deep down believe that everyone wants what you have, then it doesn’t matter how great of an actress you are, or how many times you invite them over, they will catch your dragon-eyes when you think no one is watching, and will begin to avoid you. And no, they really don’t hate you, it’s just a New Year, and no right thinking human would rather sit through and endure awkwardness and veiled hostility.

To be fair, there are women who are secure in themselves and their relationships, and if you know any of these, they are a delight! Like my best friend. I met her as a married woman, we have been friends for donkey years, and still right as rain. Her self-confidence and liver no be here biko!

So, again I wonder, why do women think other women want what they have? Especially in the city of Lagos? Okay, we’ve talked about insecurity, we have talked about fear, and we’ve talked about paranoia… what about presumptuousness?

Isn’t it presumptuous to believe that everyone wants what you have? We all have our different backgrounds, needs, desires… it makes sense that we all want different things from everything that’s available in this world.
The other side of this coin of presumptuousness, is believing that everyone wants you. Men feeling all-that, and women feeling all-that. Of course, you are amazing, spectacular, and lotsa people would be lucky to have you, but not everyone wants you. It’s nothing against you personally, and definitely nothing to cause you concern, but some people simply want something else.

In design school in Firenze, there was this clearly gay guy in our school. He kept to himself. He didn’t talk/socialize much outside his small circle of friends. Now, there was this other Nigerian student who was so bothered by him. He would say things like, “Have you seen that guy, they say he is gay, he should not come near me o, that is how they always convert people. He should not talk to me, or sit near me at all… If he should so much as look at me eh…”

He went on and on. For months he kept bringing it up. All of us just tayah for the matter. Until one day, I told him, “My friend, relax. Just because he is gay, does not mean he finds you desirable. You are not automatically desirable to every gay man on the planet. Chances are, he will never speak to you, just as you will never speak to him. You’re safe.”

Bewildered, he did not speak to me for three weeks after that. But I think he got the gist of it. He stopped complaining about a problem he probably would never have/ have had.

*chuckles*

This whole thing about women staring other women down is ridiculous, and tiring. It’s a bit like a girl invited to a buffet. She gets there, picks what she wants, and heaps it on her plate. It’s her plate. The things she likes. At that moment, another girl walks in, and she gets mad, and insecure and fearful that that other girl wants her plate. She is so sure the stranger is going to steal her plate, she stops enjoying herself, and can’t enjoy her meal.
But she forgets that there is a buffet after all, and she has nothing to fear.

She has her ogbono soup, the other came for the jollof.

Happy new year my lovelies!
E-hugs! xx

Isio De-laVega Wanogho is a Nigerian supermodel, a multi-award winning media personality and an interior architect who is a creative-expressionist at her core. She uses words, wit and her paintings to tell stories that entertain, yet convey a deeper meaning. Follow her on Instagram @isiodelavega and visit her website: http://www.idds.pro to see her professional body of work.

65 Comments

  1. Tosyn

    January 5, 2016 at 9:14 am

    Well we all have our way of doing things and relating with people but “dragon eye” might be because the person feels threatened or admires you but can summon the courage to walk up to you and tell u just that.

  2. Chi

    January 5, 2016 at 9:19 am

    This is so funny nd real!

  3. Kelechi

    January 5, 2016 at 9:21 am

    Not a suitable article for a new year start. This Issue have been over flogged, point over analysed and discussion over stretched. Let’s just talk about Jesus.

    • Nne

      January 5, 2016 at 10:24 am

      Caamdan

    • Tru

      January 5, 2016 at 4:54 pm

      Disagree. It’s a good thing to note and work on at the start of the year. Also, I’ve never read come across an article quite like this on BN, it’s quite refreshing
      Isio, True talk as always. Happy New Year and keep ’em coming!
      P.S. BN, why are you always saying I am posting too many comments and I should slow down??? It’s only one comment I usually post, shu

    • ElessarisElendil

      January 6, 2016 at 4:08 am

      Maybe its me, but I’m thinking sarcasm.

  4. Dr.N

    January 5, 2016 at 9:26 am

    Omo meeen! Last Sunday, I was crossing the road to church when this lady gave me d dragon glare. I was more concerned for her safety. Make she no go jam persin where she dey mope. #flylikethat. #keepglaring
    Happy new year Isi

  5. JADE

    January 5, 2016 at 9:27 am

    I have a friend who is insecure its becoming like a sickness, she was saw a picture of another friend and my boyfriend on my phone and chastised me seriously, lecturing me for like 45 mins about how i was too loose and trusting in my relationship and that its from taking pictures together she will snatch him, she almost had a coronary the day she found out my best freind and my boyfriend gist on whatsapp lol. Me I don’t have that type of energy abeg, will i spend the rest of my life policing my beau and firing dragon eyes and breath? mbanu

    • Mz Socially Awkward...

      January 5, 2016 at 6:32 pm

      I’ve got two friends, labelled as Friend A and Friend B for ease of reference. Friend A is married, Friend B and I aren’t and we’re all sisters from different mums. This friendship has allowed Friend A’s husband (a really nice gentleman) to gain honorary membership into the sisterhood.

      One day, a lady at our church drew Friend A aside to ask whether she’s comfortable with the friendship between Friend A’s husband and Friend B. I don’t know if it’s because Friend B has the sort of massive boobs that causes even other women to stop and gape but I laughed when I heard it because I guess not every woman has the ability to trust her man around those bosoms. Seriously, my girl is packing a dangerous pair…

      Insecurity just begets unnecessary animosity among men and women kind and even though Friend A sounded like she’d brushed it off when we all talked about it, I sometimes wonder if she sometimes catches herself unwittingly thinking about things she wouldn’t ordinarily have had cause to worry about. And that’s the worst kind of insecurity – when it’s other people planting the seeds of suspicion to grow in your mind. Especially for us who sometimes, in the deeper and darker moments of our subconscious that we would never confess to out loud, find ourselves wondering if we’re truly enough.

      Happy New Year (and associated air kisses), Isio hon! And yelz ke, I readily admit to breathing fire from my nostrils at all the babes I see at airports who seem to have discovered the knack of travelling like they stepped out of the pages of Cosmo – you know them na, the ones in the properly put together chic outfits, carrying the structured tote with the well-tailored jacket across their arm and then hair plus makeup totally on point. And they look like that on the other side of the journey oh! No rumpling or anything… whilst I’m standing behind them in airport security/customs looking like a harassed housemaid that someone sent to the market… *disgruntled side-eyes* Someone needs to teach me the secret of traveling on fleek, mehnnnn….

  6. King Bey

    January 5, 2016 at 9:32 am

    Girls and wahala [email protected] the Mall dragon eyes,parties nko,same dragon eyes,u are going on ur own JeJe same thing…Its well with our women treat each other…Una matter tire mua

  7. Annie

    January 5, 2016 at 9:33 am

    Chai, Isio just disappeared and reappeared like willy willy, welcome back ooo, i like my afang soup as e be, i am sure other people have their spec in the mens department, any pot of soup that allows another woman dig into it na “it” sabi!

  8. King Bey

    January 5, 2016 at 9:55 am

    *how*

  9. daisy

    January 5, 2016 at 10:02 am

    Initially I thought this weird behaviour was peculiar to women until my ex started to display his own dragon stare behaviour. It is sad and pathetic. Someone innocently smiles at you on the road and you have to flip your face to the other side like you just saw Medussa, just bcos your partner isn’t comfortable with strangers. I think that’s the height of insecurity and such people are never really happy. Always on the edge of their seats

  10. RIFF RAFF

    January 5, 2016 at 10:09 am

    Chai, Isio this your picture is too nice. happy New Year by the way.

    Well my candid opinion:
    1) We live in a society where people are never really happy for the success of others. Success gotten the hard way. I’m not talking about questionable success here .People naturally get a kick in dragging others into their misery. Misery loves company. It’s not interesting to be alone and miserable.

    2) Forget about women supporting each other; it’s a farce; while men compete to be the best in their game, women compete for the attention of other men and futilities like clothes, hair, even recharge cards. yes recharge cards. It’s not even funny anymore.

    3) Let me expand on my last phrase in number 2: WOMEN ALWAYS LET THEIR EMOTIONS CLOUD THEIR SENSE OF VISION. LOGIC AND WOMEN? HMMMM. I see it all the time. That’s why few ladies make it very far;interesting opportunities slip away and by the the time they realize themselves , it’s often too late. But guess what? THEY COME HERE AND BLAME THE MEN AS ALWAYS!
    4) Men always cover up their friends, even when they have disagreements; women don’t; Go tell your best friend for example u had an abortion in d past or u slept with your dad’s friend back in d days ; Guess what? the day she’s in a bad mood, only bad mood, she will spill everything. What happened in Vegas, stays in Vegas is not a woman’s mentality.

    If there are ladies here who claim to have sense, please, understand this:
    IT IS USELESS, STUPID , POINTLESS TO:
    -SPEND TIME /MONEY (u name it) ), ON THINGS YOU DO NOT NEED (MOST OF THE TIME) , JUST BECAUSE YOU WANT TO IMPRESS PEOPLE YOU DO NOT EVEN LIKE (MOST OF THE TIME AGAIN). This is true misery.
    You are young, you have energy, your brain is still open to learn and absorb new stuff, time is still on your side. Plus, you got only one life to live; why channel the most productive time of your life on details like “she thinks she’s more lightskinned than who?” or ” i must keep up with them joneses by force or by fire” ” i will show her i can be more beautiful and hook more guys if i like”. If u want to compete so badly, compete with yourself by aiming for excellence. Is it that complicated? I must show that….i must prove that…. WHY? Better still: for what, exactly???
    Happy New Year to my BN family.

    • Natu

      January 5, 2016 at 11:57 am

      @Riff Raff Real talk!! Compete for excellence!!! Strive to be better and productive!!! Sometimes I think I am an old soul. Some chicks just don’t get it.

    • RIFF RAFF

      January 5, 2016 at 12:15 pm

      Happy New Year, darl…

    • The real D

      January 6, 2016 at 12:38 am

      @ Riff Raff, no be only womens dye spend money to impress people they don’t know or don’t care. Your fellow mens dye do am too, See eeryborry want Range rover, I was with an acquaintance recently, the hubby just changed motor from 2010 Honda Toure to a Lexus, he was talking about wanting a Range rover, the wife dye beg him to send money home so dye fit buy land. He is busy trying to impress is fellow country people.
      See my countrymen flaunting their designer shirts, shoes, sunglasses and co so no be only women jare, it is a state of mind. I have seen Nigerians, African-Americans, and Hispanics exhibit this behaviour and it has no boundaries when it comes to gender.

  11. Olapeju

    January 5, 2016 at 10:12 am

    I see my Carrie Bradshaw in your content. I love you still.

  12. TeeCee

    January 5, 2016 at 10:13 am

    This is just what I was discussing with a friend last night! A friend just got married and all of a sudden I don’t mnow her again. She has become as distant as the Sahara desert. This is just evidence of lack of trust in a relationship and even self-esteem. If a lady values herself enough she would rarely worry about her partner misbehaving cos it all boils down to her partner and not the other ‘enemy’!

    • molarah

      January 7, 2016 at 8:15 am

      She could be distant because:
      1. She’s having a rough pregnancy
      2. She just got on a really stressful project at work
      3. She and her husband are going through some rough patches
      4. She may be battling infertility challenges
      5. She may be battling ‘in-law’ challenges
      6. She may be coping with a serious illnesses (you know how we religious Nigerians are about broadcasting the state of our ill-health)

      The list is endless.

      My point? Don’t be quick to jump into conclusions. Phone works both ways – if she’s not reaching out why don’t you reach out? It’s these kind of thought processes that lead to perfect friendships breaking up over absolutely nothing.

  13. TeeCee

    January 5, 2016 at 10:13 am

    *know

  14. Confuzzled

    January 5, 2016 at 10:24 am

    So, instead of talking about the problem (I’ve definitely fallen victim to the Dragon Glare several times), I’ll share the antidote since I’m in a giving mood and the holiday glow is still fresh.
    A few weeks ago, I was doing some shopping when a lady walked up to me, complimented my complexion, and asked me what products I used for my skin. Now, I’m not light skinned by any means, and I don’t bleach so I know she wasn’t asking me for bleaching advice, but rather complimenting my chocolatey goodness. I was moved. I accepted her compliment graciously and told her a bit about my very simple regimen (I’ll share it with you for a fee). I spent the rest of my time in the store sashaying through the aisles and feeling like a queen.
    Now, while I was still in the store, I spotted this lady wearing a long, off shoulder burgundy gown. Tailored perfectly. It was a saturday so she must have worn it to a wedding. On a normal day I would have kept my thoughts to myself while staring, but as I was still basking in the glow from the compliment I received earlier, I decided to say something. I walked up to her and told her she looked amazing and that I loved her dress. At first, she looked distrustful, but after a couple of seconds, she smiled, thanked me, and told me where she got the dress. The guy beside her (must have been her husband or something) was grinning from ear to ear the whole time. I imagine he received a major ego boost from the whole thing. Anyway, after we talked, I went about my business, paid for my stuff and went home.
    A third time, I was minding my own business when I spotted a lady with very long, well maintained dreadlocks. I’m a sucker for nice locks as I wear them myself. I ran to her and complimented her hair. We ended up exchanging numbers and became good friends till today. I’d have missed knowing a great person if I stared and kept my mouth shut.

    I know how I felt when I got that unexpected compliment about my skin. Perhaps the reason that lady was staring at you was because she saw something she admired. Next time, I’ll stare less and compliment more. And the next time I receive the Dragon Stare, I won’t take it to heart. Its cos I look good 😀

    On a final note, some people have what is called ‘Resting B!tch Face’. Let’s say a prayer for them and keep it moving. They don’t mean to glare.

    • Tosin

      January 5, 2016 at 1:39 pm

      I love you. Don’t be confuzzled, you’re not, really, I don’t think.

    • honey omo lekki

      January 5, 2016 at 2:54 pm

      I love your policy. I will keep it in mind.

      Lovely post

    • Mz Socially Awkward...

      January 5, 2016 at 6:36 pm

      Hahahahahaha! El Oh El @ your last line…. but das a very wondefu advise that you haff just share, sisteh. 🙂

    • The real D

      January 6, 2016 at 12:53 am

      Now I shall not lie, if you catch me at Muri… there is a very high probability you would believe I have a bitch resting face, I deliberately put it on to deal with them thieves called customs and those men that mentally harass you that call themselves cab drivers, bag carrier pushers or phone providers.

    • da ouch

      January 9, 2016 at 2:26 pm

      Pls where do you live? Where do you get your locks done

    • esthel

      January 14, 2016 at 11:55 am

      Where is the skin regimen u promised

  15. Ayotunde. the man under the coconut tree

    January 5, 2016 at 10:28 am

    i was taught at an early age to always smile when you make an eye contact with anyone; male, female, young and old. but more importantly smile more often! it makes you approachable!!!
    if only women knew how important it is to wear a smile…. most of you for don marry!!
    Nah joke but you get my point…
    smile more often!!!

    • Audrey

      January 5, 2016 at 12:37 pm

      100% truth Sir. I do not know how to maintain eye contact,even worse I’m unable to smile at people I don’t know/less acquainted with when we make eye contact. I quickly look away. Its so bad, people who don’t know me very well think I’m arrogant. Trying really hard to change it at age 32,,,sigh. Its not easy

    • Ayotunde. the man under the coconut tree

      January 5, 2016 at 12:52 pm

      my dear changing a habit takes time. just keep working at it. the reason why I’m used to smiling is cause my mother taught us at an early age (siblings and i).
      you’ll be fine!!! 🙂

    • larz

      January 5, 2016 at 2:13 pm

      What is understanding Lagosians without Nollywood.

      First rule of how to be a big girl is to learn how to bone face. I think most girls really belive that they come across sophisticated if they look or appear untouchable enough

    • Mz Socially Awkward...

      January 5, 2016 at 6:49 pm

      Nah, they’ll just have frown lines for no reason. Have to admit that I sometimes wear a stony face at work and sometimes from the very minute I enter… but that one na just to keep some vex-worthy oyibos and their noisome pestilence at bay…

      However, following my last trip to Naija, I returned with a very important lesson and started re-schooling myself on how not to allow the coldness of an adopted society seep into your life so much that it starts to destroy the natural warmth and light you carry. So, I “haff” now began willing myself to smile more, even when I want to just eye you uppandan.

      Make I wake up one day come see say I don morph into all of those ones I see wey dey pinch face for road…

  16. Alice

    January 5, 2016 at 10:36 am

    Lagos is full of insecure people trying to keep up with the Joneses and living their fake lives for transient fads

    I don’t know how you people survive there

    • ayotunde. the man under the coconut tree

      January 5, 2016 at 10:54 am

      i agree with what Alice just posted!!! you can sense the insecurities and fakeness from afar!!!
      lagosians change oh!!!

    • Cynical

      January 5, 2016 at 10:33 pm

      @Alice,honestly Lagos is really an interesting place. When I go out,I really go to entertain myself and just laugh. You see babes thinking they are in competition,ohh I have more money than you do,my dress is more expensive than yours,my boo is richer than yours…….and you’re like darling just chill,I’m just here for the jollof….lol.

  17. zEe

    January 5, 2016 at 10:43 am

    True that! Women are women’s worst enemies. Hatin’ and bickerin’ on each one a lot. Smh

  18. Olayemi

    January 5, 2016 at 10:48 am

    Please don’t expect everyone to be carrying smiley face up and down, married or single. Why are we so entitled ? People need to be smiling at you and if not, they are insecure? Smh.

    • l

      January 5, 2016 at 11:28 am

      are you one of them that give the dragon smile cause i can sense it…. you don’t have to be passive aggressive. is just a smile! no one said you should be carrying smiley face but smiling often than resting beach face or frowning doesn’t make one look approachable of friendly. how does being entitled relate to smiling more often….. mshewwww!!!! no one id begging you to smile aunty olayemi!!

  19. mrs chidukane

    January 5, 2016 at 11:10 am

    I love your comment, I’ve made lots of friends this way.

  20. Duchess of Ijebuland

    January 5, 2016 at 11:59 am

    Aunty, not every BN reader is a Christian.

  21. too much snickers

    January 5, 2016 at 12:24 pm

    the only way to survive in lagos is to do skelewu and smile more often!!!! lmao
    i think I’ve met more women with a dragon smile than women with a cheerful smile in this lagos. if only they can see how evil the look “like Patience Ozokwor in her wicked movies lmao.
    and for those living the fake life in lagos, Kontinu oh!!! and for those trying to keep up with the joneses, Kontinu oh!!!

    how do all of these people i mentioned above, sleep at night?
    what a restless soul!!!

  22. Tosin

    January 5, 2016 at 1:36 pm

    Once long ago I was seeing someone and we walked by this really blessed by God super hot chic who clearly wanted to jump my guy’s bones lol. He said yes she in fact liked him and I said yeah you should in fact go for it. He did, it was sweet, we gisted about it, we used what we’d learned too 😉

    It’s not everytime fight over doll until the doll tear. There is love in sharing 😀

    • Kay dollz

      January 5, 2016 at 2:24 pm

      Tosin u is weird,but in a nice way.

    • whocares

      January 5, 2016 at 2:29 pm

      @ Tosin- loro kan sha you have been in a menange or you were a voyeur or you advocate free loving? issorait.. Go on with your bad self. No judgement here. lool.
      Now the topic.. I will agree with confuzzled and take the prayer for the resting bitch face. I am a dreamer and I just walk around sometimes lost in my own thoughts. I could be thinking about flowers and kittens but my facial expression says axe murderer.. when I am aware then yes the smile comes out and I am usually predisposed to smile to strangers when I feel comfortable with them. If I do not, I will not smile or attempt to make you feel comfortable so it might be the vibe you get off someone too. Also for ladies that have terrible vision. If you are short-sighted and are vain enough not to want to wear your glasses on occasions and forgot to use contact (as you have already done your eye makeup- wahala yi po sha) when we squint we look evil also and there have been times when i am attempting to check out a guy and i come across as if i am measuring how well his dead body will fit in the boot of my imaginary car. c’est la vie. do you. Whoever wants to look let them look, you do you.

    • Koffie

      January 5, 2016 at 8:53 pm

      How do you do it babes? I know you think monogamy is ridiculous but how do you detach yourself so much that you share joyfully and take joyfully as well? That’s how Tosin dropped one link on a post about 2 weeks ago (ish) and I followed the link out of boredom and it was for polygamous singles ??? I was so confused I ran out of the the link as soon as I was in. You’re pretty weird but pretty is pretty so no judgements.
      Confuzzled, nne come back and share that regime and no fee for you as I don spend money finish for holiday. But you’re still basking in the giving glow of Christmas so nothing do you. Oya spill

  23. tolare

    January 5, 2016 at 2:42 pm

    @Tosin, Huh? Please, repeat. I do NOT understand. Did you encourage your boyfriend to have sex with another woman? Abi, what do you mean by it was sweet and you used what you learnt?

  24. Onetallgirl

    January 5, 2016 at 3:38 pm

    I don’t have much to say about this matter expect that girls will be girls! I’m just happy to see an Isio knows better article today! Isio I love you, happy new year!

  25. Tru

    January 5, 2016 at 4:53 pm

    Disagree. It’s a god thing to note and work on at the start of the year. Also, I’ve never read come across an article quite like this on BN, it’s quite refreshing
    Isio, True talk as always. Happy New Year and keep ’em coming!
    P.S. BN, why are you always saying I am posting too many comments and I should slow down??? It’s only one comment I usually post, shu

  26. whocares

    January 5, 2016 at 5:06 pm

    @Tolare- wait Tosin, I got this. so one day, Tosin was strolling with her bobo, her boo, her bae, her boo baby boo. they now jammed one fine girl. He looked at her, she looked at him, he looked at her again, she looked at him again. Tosin looked at borruf them looking at two of them. Two had seen two, Three had seen two. four eyes meet six eyes. Now as we all know Tosin is not stingy. She will sting a stingray, she will give the clothes off her back, she will give the clothes off her bobos back so no one goes naked, and if anyone has to, they will. She is a giver, a giver sometimes a taker,. a giver never lasts, no lacks, a giver never lacks.. You eat alone, you die alone, you chop alone, you choke alone, Tosin understood this all too well. she understood that the toto is not for one, has never been designed for one. your toto, my toto, our toto, his toto. It is collective communal property…. im goinig to stop now. I have lost the plot.. even my insanity has a point it ends apparently. looool.

    • tolare

      January 5, 2016 at 6:48 pm

      @whocares, Hahahaha @ communal property though. Ah, Beht why? I thought Tosin was saying what you were saying but I just couldn’t imagine she meant it. Now you’ve said it and it even seems more confusing. I mean, I understand but still do not…btw, I see you’re nice and friendly. you made a comment one time on a post, wanted to ask what you meant but didn’t want you to abuse me. But now I see you’re nice. Yaaaay! You, Mz SA and Tosin, I love. Although I’m still trying to understand her – Tosin, that one!

    • Tosin

      January 5, 2016 at 9:25 pm

      <3
      Thank you for making me laugh. <3
      NP – BE APPI, by Olamide.

    • gurl_wendy

      January 5, 2016 at 10:47 pm

      Lolllll, you’re crazy!!!

  27. titi ade

    January 5, 2016 at 6:32 pm

    hmm its funny how you are the one writing this article>>i have seen you on more than 3 different occassions with that ugly stare!!!!! i kept trying to convince myself you were in a bad mood the first 2times but on the 3rd ,i came to the conclusion that you were just a bitter woman that hates other women<<<no wonder its an easy topic for you cos you are writing about yourself……chnge your ways…frowning does not look cute on you.

    • Ashley

      January 5, 2016 at 7:24 pm

      I liked your comment @titi ade. the truth is that all women do it and a lot of men do it as well. there’s not one woman that is free from doing this. even loaded women like Daisy, Mama Bakassi, Madam oil bloc, Bola will look at you from up to down and carry their faces away. meanwhile they have it all or don’t they? it’s not a Lagos thing. it’s done everywhere. it is easy for us to call out other people for what they do when we do it more. is it a lack of awareness, hypocrisy or both?

    • nene

      January 5, 2016 at 7:51 pm

      she’s being judgmental.

  28. nene

    January 5, 2016 at 7:45 pm

    it is not only lagos, biko it happens everywhere. people should stop acting acting like everything bad with the world originated in lagos.

  29. Africhic

    January 5, 2016 at 10:27 pm

    My own version of the dragon stare. I just started seriously dating a guy and I’m yet to meet all his friends. The other day at the airport a lady coming in the opposite direction was smiling broadly at him, I decided to smile at her as well. If looks could kill I wouldn’t be writing this story. Had to ask le boo if there was more to it….

  30. The real D

    January 6, 2016 at 1:09 am

    Ok no be only women dye do this o. Maybe women just observe other women more. My hubby who I love has been caught by moi giving people the look. I will not care to call the look vile per say but you know when you are looking at someone and someone that knows you well can read your thoughts that’s exactly it. le hubs be thinking ‘ki lo se a leyi” wet in dey worry this one? I have had to caution him on a few occasions, but someone that does not know him and catches that look on him may consider it vile because it is all kinds of ugly. I have seen my host dad from college give people the look too and he is pure Caucasian but he goes a step further by mumbling his thoughts under his breath or many times out loud.

  31. freshdew

    January 7, 2016 at 3:05 am

    Hey Isio

  32. feyyyii

    January 7, 2016 at 9:29 am

    Yu guyz are the best……happy new year isio and BN FAM

  33. JohnSpeaks Uwangue

    January 26, 2016 at 11:00 am

    Its not only women that give the dragon glare. Infact, men do it too. For the women, I think its bcos of the mindset that husbands are scarce nowadays and so they should protect what they have. As for the men, I have seen guys give the dragon glare to their fellow guys for staring at their babes.
    Babe wen he spend his all and all to buy shawama, recharge cards, carry go cinemas etc na u dey look with konakona eye.
    It all boils down to insecurity and lack of trust.

  34. JohnSpeaks Uwangue

    January 26, 2016 at 11:02 am

    It’s not only women that give the dragon glare. Infact, men do it too. For the women, I think its bcos of the mindset that husbands are scarce nowadays and so they should protect what they have. As for the men, I have seen guys give the dragon glare to their fellow guys for staring at their babes.
    Babe wen he spend his all and all to buy shawama, recharge cards, carry go cinemas etc na u dey look with konakona eye.
    It all boils down to insecurity and lack of trust.

  35. lois

    March 8, 2016 at 3:43 pm

    All these talk about scarcity of husband is really, i dnt knw, ‘can’t believe human beings still think like this’ – exactly. That’s how it is.

  36. tony

    June 23, 2016 at 12:08 pm

    I finally realized the reason women hate each other is because they have the wrong spirit controlling them.those who are Christ fearing don’t act that way and they are the happiest and most gracious Ladies on the planet. Be one..Love……Tony

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