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Life Hacks With Toby: 10 Things Men Worry About that Most Women Don’t Know



dreamstime_l_12613626According to a comedian I listened to recently, the content of men and women’s hearts are very different.

He said women look happier, and smile more because when you enter their minds, you will only find thoughts of ice-cream, shoes, lovely dresses, beautiful make-up kits and cute children.

Men, on the other hand, aren’t like that. According to him, their hearts are darker and blacker. Opening their hearts reveal thoughts about rent, tax, electricity bills, school fees, mortgage payments and other not-so-cute stuff.

Of course it is not true. We have lovely thoughts too jor.

It reminded me of a conversation I had with a female friend. While trying to justify her worries, this lady said that I won’t understand her because I am a man, and “you men don’t ever worry about anything”. According to her, men’s lives are straightforward, simple, and devoid of any worries. She presented a good argument, but I beg to disagree.

Believe it or not, men worry too. And just to prove her wrong, below are 10 things we worry about the most which women, like her, obviously don’t know.

Approaching a Woman We Like
It takes a lot of guts for some of us to approach a woman we like. It is a different ball game, if it is someone we don’t really fancy. But when we really like you, the butterflies in our stomachs start flying without formation.

This makes us worry so much about what to say, how to say it, and what the response could be. It seems ridiculous, but many of us can address the UN comfortably and still get tongue tied when we want to ask out a woman we like.

The Size of Our Manhood
You know how some women worry about their breasts? Well, men do the same, but for their manhood. It starts at adolescence and goes way up into adulthood. The worry gets worse just before we finally have to get naked before the woman of our dreams.

Whether We Satisfy You in Bed
The major reason men worry about the size of their manhood is because they believe that their sexual prowess depends on it. We keep hearing that it isn’t, but most of us still find it difficult to believe especially when the relationship is still new.

That is why the next thing most men ask after sex is, “How was it?”

Not being able to fix things
We are wired to fix things. We don’t need to be technicians to do that. It is a natural tendency for us to fix broken things. That is why we find it extremely hard to listen to a woman speak without finding solutions to whatever she’s talking about.

We worry about the problems we face and our ability to solve or not solve them. When we can’t solve these problems, we feel incompetent. And we hate incompetence, as it tells us that someone else may be better than us.

Losing in a Competition
The reason we like playing video games and watching Super Sports is because we love the competition it brings. That is the main reason we are usually attracted to any girl that seems to have a lot of guys chasing her. We love adventures and challenges.

Underlying all this is the fact that we love winning. You guessed right, this makes us worry about losing the competition.

I know that everybody worries about money. But we worry about money in a much higher dimension. We worry a lot about doing a good job of being providers. Most of us for instance, will never be comfortable depending on someone else to provide for us. In fact it is against all the codes of manliness that we believe in.

We are the providers, period. And if we can’t provide, it is a huge blow to our self esteem. It makes us grumpy and angry and we may even transfer the aggression to the people we love.

> Job Security
This is related to the last point. Our job security determines our financial stability. Anything that affects our finances gets us worried. We love working and if we can’t work, we worry a lot.

How Much We Accomplish
I have already stated that we love competition. But the motivation for the competition is the victory at the end. We love to be the best, the winner, the Alpha.

We want to impress women and other men so that they can give us more respect. That is why we buy the fastest cars and build the big mansion with 20 rooms even though we sleep there just seven nights in a year.

That said, we worry a lot about how much we have accomplished. We constantly compare ourselves with other people in our circle to find out how we measure up. And if we don’t measure up favorably, we get worried.

Being Seen as Weak
We are protective in nature, and want to be seen as strong. Sometimes we tend to do some things not because they’re the logically right thing for us to do, but simply because we don’t want to be seen as weak.

By the way, this is one chief reason we don’t normally cry.

That said, we worry about being seen as weak especially by a woman we like.

“What if she turns down my proposal?”
Forget how masculine and invincible we appear. Ignore those broad shoulders, large chest and deep voice o. We worry a lot about what the woman we are in love with thinks of us. And when it comes to proposals, we all know that she cannot bite or shoot us. Still, we can’t help worrying about whether her answer will be a ‘Yes’ or ‘No.’

This is the major reason we can carry an engagement ring in our pockets for one full month and you won’t know.

As a guy, are there other things you worry about? Ladies, does your husband, fiancé, father or brother worry about these things?

This is definitely not a comprehensive list, so share your views in the comment section.

Photo Credit: Dreamstime

Toby Nwazor is a free lance writer and motivational speaker who believes that life is meant to be lived and not just existed in. He is equally an entrepreneur with a lot of hands-on experience in business start-ups, marketing, and customer service. He passionately writes every Monday and Wednesday on about helping entrepreneurs and aspiring entrepreneurs build successful start-ups


  1. A Real Nigerian

    January 29, 2016 at 1:20 pm


    • Sad Nigerian

      January 29, 2016 at 1:45 pm

      Sad, aren’t you? Or is it desperate to create an image on BN? Which is it? Because your trollish comments aren’t ever funny.

    • A Real Nigerian

      January 29, 2016 at 2:35 pm

      I am a very happy person.
      I feel at home here, if I wanted to create an image, I’d go on Youtube, LOP, The Guardian, Goal, or LIB.
      Troll? Do you even know what a troll is?
      The only thing funny here are supersensitive people like you who take me seriously.

    • Yeah!!

      January 29, 2016 at 1:57 pm

      Yeah Yawn…YOU bore me A Real Nigerian! Get a life!!

    • Sad Nigerian

      January 29, 2016 at 2:52 pm

      Yes dear, Troll I said.

      troll noun [C] (CREATURE)

      › someone who ​leaves an ​intentionally ​annoying ​message on the internet, in ​order to get ​attention or ​cause ​trouble

      That’s attention-seeking you!

  2. Wale

    January 29, 2016 at 1:50 pm

    Comparing of sizes of manhood is very common!

    • Sugar

      January 29, 2016 at 4:02 pm

      Yes my BF is always excited when i tell him he’s big down there. He always smile like a little kid whenever i give him that compliment. Bobo needs validation for sure.
      Hes truly big so its no

  3. abegi

    January 29, 2016 at 3:13 pm

    “We are wired”.. “it is our nature”. No it was how you are taught to be a man. A man isn’t any more a problem solver or a fixer than a woman is. You’ve just been told all your life that you are supposed to fix things, never mind that you may not even have the natural ability to fix said thing. You are just as emotional and sometimes even more emotional than women. If you supresss the tears, the emotion will still manifest in another form, like in the form of anger. Anger is an emotion. ego is an emotion. (boy you guys have a lot of that).


    January 29, 2016 at 3:45 pm

    OK. THANK U FOR THE INSIGHTS…………..BUT THE BILLS ON THE MAN NO B SMALL OO ……I.E “RESPONSIBLE MAN’…… but its ok to cry as a man sometimes it makes u human

  5. Alex

    January 29, 2016 at 3:53 pm

    Good one…

  6. el patron

    January 29, 2016 at 4:35 pm

    unayi have done well I agree! I see me all over this write up. well done.

    • Toby Nwazor

      January 30, 2016 at 9:42 pm

      Thanks el Patron

  7. Jezebel

    January 29, 2016 at 4:49 pm

    Things I worry about:
    The number of fish in a sardin tin,
    Whether the olumofin boys will attend toolz’s wedding,
    Donald Trump (whether he is an alien),
    Whether there’ll be a zombie apocalypse before the alien invasion and what will happen when they (the aliens) find out we are all zombies.

    Not a very long list but there it is.

    • A Real Nigerian

      January 29, 2016 at 5:11 pm

      I know you’re trynna sound cool, but your comment is way off and makes no sense.

    • Tosin

      January 29, 2016 at 5:23 pm

      love it!

  8. blowingsnow

    January 29, 2016 at 5:11 pm

    …….and dem go still cheat!!

    • Peace

      January 29, 2016 at 8:46 pm

      Careful now, you might just get what you ask for, as there is power in words. I hope you don’t get a cheat though.. Peace

    • Unknown Shiekh

      January 31, 2016 at 12:25 pm

      hahahahahaha na to blow steam off , no vex :p

  9. Tosin

    January 29, 2016 at 5:22 pm

    why worry…

  10. o

    January 29, 2016 at 9:22 pm

    Hmmm do (Nigerian) men really worry abt how they do in bed? Once they cum, they are ok, roll over and next thing they are snoring. Even when they ask, I doubt they mean it. Most guys are selfish in bed, they just wanna be ok. Very very few are in it to please the woman. at least from my experience and discussions with other women….

  11. OK

    January 29, 2016 at 10:03 pm

    Hi Toby, I usually enjoy your articles but:
    “He said women look happier, and smile more because when you enter their minds, you will only find thoughts of ice-cream, shoes, lovely dresses, beautiful make-up kits and cute children.

    Men, on the other hand, aren’t like that. According to him, their hearts are darker and blacker. Opening their hearts reveal thoughts about rent, tax, electricity bills, school fees, mortgage payments and other not-so-cute stuff.

    Of course it is not true. We have lovely thoughts too jor.”

    As a working woman I also worry about ‘rent,tax electricity ..etc’ and other ‘non-cute stuff’ seeing as these are issues I face every day. Same for housewives, students and ..basically every woman.

    Maybe you meant it tongue in cheek, but it came off super patronising. ‘Darker and blacker thoughts’? Really?

    • Toby Nwazor

      January 30, 2016 at 9:45 pm

      Hello OK, thanks for being an avid reader. You are the reason I won’t stop writing. I understand your point, and I see why you say it sounds patronizing. But remember that I was just quoting what a stand-up comedian used in one of his performances. I didn’t express it as my view.
      Thanks again for reading

  12. nd

    January 29, 2016 at 11:04 pm

    To be quite honest you are just a troll! @A real Nigerian !

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