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Life Hacks with Toby: So You Wanna Woo the Woman of Your Dreams…

In my experience, getting a woman to laugh is one sure way to make her feel warm around you. What works most times is not really cracking jokes (you are not Bovi), but teasing her.



The art of wooing a lady is not rocket science. Still, so many guys fail at their attempts.

Thousands of comments have been buried deep in the cold of so many women’s inbox. So many phone calls unanswered, so many comments of “Have you eaten” still not replied.

Does this mean that women don’t want to mingle anymore?

Absolutely not.

The problem is that guys, who are the main players in the game, are still not getting it right. It seems impossible for them to get their love interest to warm up enough to even allow the toasting process to commence.

Not to worry guys, that is why I wrote this post. It will help you in no small way.

In my experience, getting a woman to laugh is one sure way to make her feel warm around you. What works most times is not really cracking jokes (you are not Bovi), but teasing her.

Lots of men are all about flattering and flattering. It’s cheap. Real gentlemen don’t flatter.

Dude, spend some time and observe her. If you really like her, she is worth your time then.

Observe her for a few minutes, hours, or even days, depending on how good your observation skills are.

This doesn’t mean you stop all you do and watch. It simply means you take out time and listen to how she sings if she is in the choir.

Or if she is a neighbor, maybe you watch how she walks. Etc.

Next, approach her. At that time, you’d have something she can connect with that you will talk about.

“Hi, I watched you sing last Sunday, the way you hit that last note in Onise Iyanu, I could have sworn Mariah Carey was in church (or Tiwa Savage depending on who she can connect with).”

“Then I saw it was you.”


Someone noticed something she did.

Maybe she rehearsed that particular note for two hours before she sang it. Maybe nobody has ever complimented her high pitch. But guess what? She’s smiling now. And she says, “Thank you,” because she knows the compliment was sincere and you made out time to notice it.

Point: women like the little things. So noticing the little things will get her attention.

So do you now dive in? “What’s your name? Have you eaten? Can I get your number?”

Slow down, tiger. That’s not necessary. Remember you are a gentleman.

If you play your game well, she will give you her number without your asking.

Next move is to keep her warm. Keep her smiling. Or even make her laugh.

She just thanked you, right? Ask her a question. Get her talking.

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo. Don’t ask “What did you eat,” you idiot.

Ask questions in relation to what got her interested. For example:

“You sang so well, how long have you been singing?”

“Hmmm. I wonder what it took you to get this good with pitching. How do you do it?”

“What will you tell a bad singer like me to do to improve my voice?”

These questions will make her feel good when she answers them. So she will answer them.

Next, from what she says, tease yourself, then start teasing her.

You see all those lines of you are such a beautiful angel abi angle, you are the sunshine bla bla bla… Throw them away. They are mere flattery, and she knows.

If she says she has been in the choir for ten years for instance, tease yourself and say something like.

“Aaaaah. That means I have ten years before this my voice that croaks like frog go improve. Chai.”

She will probably laugh and tell you that it’s not that bad.

Two things: One. She just defended you

Two. She just saw you tease yourself innocently so she knows that your teasing is innocent in case you tease her too.

Start small.

From what she has said, or your previous observation, tease her.

She needs to laugh and then beat you playfully or something.

“That reminds me, I saw you the other day running to church. You dey here and naija dey look for who go run for us during the Olympics. Stop wasting your talent o.”

Watch her reaction. She laughed abi? Oh, she even beat you on top.

Awesome! You just scored some great points.

She will probably tell you what happened that day. Then tell you how she used to run for her house during inter house sports in secondary school, etc.

Whatever she says, listen. Nod. Do your hmmms and aaahhhs. Look her in the eye as she speaks. Smile when she does too.

Note that your greatest asset now is not about how well you can talk. Your greatest asset is hinged on how well you can get her to talk, and how well you can listen.

Few minutes later, waka comot. Or at least, do like say you wan comot. She sef go shock say you no even ask for her name or number.

As you are about to leave, you can come back and tease yourself again.

“Don’t mind me, I keep forgetting my manners. My name is Toby. It was nice speaking with you.”

Extend your hand for a shake. Please don’t squeeze or grind her hand. She’s a lady. And take your eyes off her breast too. She knows when you look.

She will introduce herself too, courtesy demands that.

Ask for the number now if you want to. She will give it to you.

Or, as a gentleman, go a step further and use a line. An intelligent one too.

Look her in the eye and say something like this: “That reminds me, earlier this morning when I was studying some chapters in the book of numbers, I noticed that yours wasn’t there.”


Then give her your phone.

She will smile and type in her phone number by herself.

Bro, you have made it in life!

Noooooo. Don’t go to WhatsApp and start telling her how beautiful she looks.

No naaaa. Every other guy does that.

You have class. You are different. You are a gentleman. Gentlemen call ladies. No, not WhatsApp calls. Please!

Don’t call immediately either. You are not desperate nor jobless. Wait a few hours first.

You can call her before the end of that day, or the next day preferably.

Of course she remembers you.

Make her talk and laugh again. And when she talks, listen and ask questions on what she said.

It shows her you were listening. Remember that your job isn’t to show how much of a wonderful talkative you are. Your job is to get her to talk, and as she does, you listen. Trust me, she will woo herself by herself.

Go on from there.

And when it starts, remember to come and give offering in my account.

NB: If she no gree let her be. Every lady you like must not like you. Accept that.

Toby Nwazor is a free lance writer and motivational speaker who believes that life is meant to be lived and not just existed in. He is equally an entrepreneur with a lot of hands-on experience in business start-ups, marketing, and customer service. He passionately writes every Monday and Wednesday on about helping entrepreneurs and aspiring entrepreneurs build successful start-ups


  1. Daniel

    March 20, 2019 at 8:51 pm


    WHO BE DIS?!!!


  2. ogbuja

    March 21, 2019 at 2:18 pm

    wow….Nice piece Boss. I sight u Man. I wil be back with my offering .

  3. Houll

    March 23, 2019 at 6:03 am

    This is incredible sir. I have lines for my spouse coming in…thanks sir…

  4. Blessing

    March 23, 2019 at 8:03 pm

    Someone has actually used this on me and I have fallen for d trick but no regrets because it has been wonderful

  5. YLT

    March 23, 2019 at 11:15 pm

    Loveeeeee it! Even you have wooed me already ?????

  6. Nengi

    March 24, 2019 at 2:49 pm

    ????. Very funny piece.

    You have spoken from your series of experience.

    Totally enjoyed the read.

  7. Josh

    March 30, 2019 at 6:25 pm

    This is a good read. Never regretted any bit of it.

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