Osayi Emokpae Lasisi: These Are 5 Reasons Why We Are Not Hiring You

People keep talking about the unemployment rate in Nigeria. Oh it is so high. Oh there are no jobs. Oh there are jobs but there are no qualified people. Oh Nigeria, Oh Nigeria, Oh Nigeria.

The truth is that there are quite a number of jobs, but it can be so hard to fill them sometimes. I have had the opportunity to help recruit for some organizations and when we start getting resumes/CVs I start getting a headache.

Why would I recommend that you get hired when you can’t even spell your name correctly? Or you can’t even spell my company’s name correctly? Well, there are many reasons that you may not be getting called for an interview, or for the position; but, here are a few reasons why you may not be hearing back from the organizations you applied to:

Typographical errors
This is the worst thing ever, as in EVER. When H.R people see typographical errors they immediately believe this person doesn’t know how to spell. This person will embarass me if I recommend them to the organization. This person will embarass the company if they are ever hired. In the end this person may destroy our business because this person will make our clients think we are unserious-minded people. So guess what HR will do? – they will move your CV to the recycled pile (A.K.A the trash can)

See attached CV
When HR gets a resume/CV in their inbox, and the subject and body says “see attached CV” the first thing that comes to mind is – this person must think I have nothing else to do but wait here for their “attached CV.” This person must think that I have been praying and fasting for their “attached CV,” and since this is the answer to my prayer they do not need to specify which job they are applying to, or why this “attached CV” is the answer to my prayers. I should just know. So please unless you want your “attached CV” to land in the trash can, please have some kind of explanation, and include the position you are applying for.

Forward, Forward, Forward or BCC
Yes please, there is nothing that makes HR feel more special than seeing that you have forwarded this same email to so many other people. In fact you have even blind copied me. I’m not special to you. I’m more like one of your many girlfriends or boyfriends. If I respond you won’t even remember me, and I may not even be the most important one that you sent the email to. You probably don’t even know much about my organization, you’re just hoping that someone will respond – so yeah you’re pretty desperate. And guess what the interviewer will do when someone like you makes them feel like they are one of the many girlfriends you may be interested in? Yes, you got it… your resume will land in the trash can.

I just need a job
Please when you make it to the interview and they ask you why you want to work here. I beg you, from the bottom of my heart, don’t say I just need a job, or I just need money. Yes oh! We all need money, but try not to look desperate. Try to act as if you are interested in us, but even if you don’t work with us you will still have a great life. WE don’t want desperate stalker, we want the best. And often times we think that the best people are wanted by others. So if you’re desperate, then it makes us feel like you’re probably not the best. I beg you once again, repeat after me – I WILL NOT ACT DESPERATE.

Smelly Interview
I know a lot of people say not to spray perfume or cologne for an interview, just in case the interviewer is allergic to your spray. But please the least you can do is wear deodorant. Just rub it all over your underarm, and then keep it in your bag just in case you need more. And spray small perfume, just a little bit, not too much, but not too little either. Why am I saying this? Well, the interviewer will not be able to hear you speaking if every time you walk by, they are overwhelmed and attacked by your body odour. Some are more polite and will try to smile and listen, but the whole time they will be distracted because they have to hold their breath. Others may not be so polite and may excuse themselves, and you will never quite know why they left – only to find out later that once again, your CV/Resume has landed in the trash can.

So please try not to do the five things above. I know you’re smart, I know you are qualified, and I want you to get that amazing job that you deserve.

Photo Credit: Dreamstime