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“Failure can be a result of bad marriage” OAP Freeze gives Marriage Advice

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CoolFM_Daddy Freeze_MarriageAdvice_BellaNaija_Cool FM radio host Freeze shared his thoughts on Twitter and Instagram about the Nigerian hot topic of the day – ‘Marriage’ – early this evening.

See what he wrote below.

Does a good GOD want you in a bad marriage?? The answer is NO!

Ladies don’t rush into marriage because you are getting old, or because your parents want a grand child or because you feel that if you are not married after a certain age you are deemed a failure.

Marriage does not determine success, on the contrary, failure can be a result of a #BadMarriage. Always settle for long term happiness, even if it means short term discomfort.

If you can’t make yourself happy no one else can! Don’t be waiting for a man or woman to be your emotional or financial helper, instead look for someone that shares common goals, interests and perception with you and strive to achieve the goals together! There is no greater pain than the anguish of a #BadMarriage don’t become the next victim!

Money doesn’t guarantee happiness in marriage. The recently trending case of a pretty mixed race actress has clearly shown this. The sadness of a bad marriage cannot be wiped away by ‘Gucci’, ‘Rolex’ or ‘Range Rover’ these things are nice but we don’t know how fickle and transient they are until you own them and your marital sorrow still persists.

It’s also harder to leave a rich man than a poor one! Lol!

Marriage doesn’t make you! You make it! So please start by choosing #MrRight instead of #MrRightNow!

Do you agree with him?

27 Comments

  1. nene

    April 7, 2016 at 11:58 pm

    freeze should keep quiet. his wife tried to make him be better but he chose to live a fake life and spend his money on wristwatches. some men should never be allowed to get married or have kids. what about women in bad marriages with horrible husbands?

  2. jess

    April 8, 2016 at 12:07 am

    Reasonable piece there

  3. Tai omo yoruba nimi

    April 8, 2016 at 12:48 am

    I absolutely agree with him but there was no need to subtly shade Caroline ,freeze abeg this woman has had enough of all this brouhaha ! Can you not make your point without dragging someone’s hair in it ? Attention seeker oshi ..everyone is now forming marriage and relationship counsellor . #iranuabasha

  4. Fola Coco

    April 8, 2016 at 2:13 am

    And he couldn’t write his piece without throwing in some major [email protected] Danjuma…Tacky,uncalled for and unnecessary dude. Besides nothing profound about what he wrote,women already know this..

    Women’s lives,women’s choices,those who want/choose to get pressured will regardless..

    Marriage shaming,pressure to marry etc will always persist,it was that way also in our mother’s time. So enough already,you can either choose to deal with it,or allow it define you or cave into this ‘real/perceived pressure.

    We should be more concerned about the rate of divorce and cheating amongst married men and women. Rather than consciously or unconsciously pushing women to marry whether they want to or not.

  5. Segi

    April 8, 2016 at 2:47 am

    *major side eye*

    • RIFF RAFF

      April 8, 2016 at 8:02 am

      There is no greater pain than the anguish of a #BadMarriage don’t become the next victim!
      Major side eye to the ex wife? Time will tell, Freeze, time will tell…..

      Personally i thought of women who fought the “battle of the baby mamas and side chics” and got the ring. Where did that get them? Emotional roller coaster everyday, epic humiliations with your man in full display with other women, You can’t even focus on your own dreams because he’s made you so insecure that all your life revolves around monitoring him and living with the fear of losing him.

      You beg for attention,
      You beg for love,
      You practically beg him to marry you.

      Your man be flexing and getting younger by the day while you carry high blood pressure and your beautiful person ages by 10 years due to frustration and unhappiness….in the name of being mrs at any cost.
      I won’t say no names….insert the names u want.

  6. Tosin

    April 8, 2016 at 7:04 am

    he cracks me up. for a Taurean, he’s very entertaining.

  7. Paul Babalola

    April 8, 2016 at 7:12 am

    Freeze is profoundly correct 100%. It is better to look for Me right rather Mr right now. The fact of the matter is an African man can’t make stupendous money before marriage and you expect him to be faithful to one woman. Caroline Danjuma married Musa for the money, nothing like love considering even the age difference of about 25-30 years. Can she marry a Civil servant of the same age as Musa. Men or Naija men are born to be polygamous, if he now has money on top, nothing can stop him, feminist can only lament and groan. The wife can also go on her own cheating spree but when caught she will be thrown out. Women tend to amuse me that they cover their tracks very well when cheating, lol, there will always be a little slip, phone records, someone seeing you entering a hotel etc na today. The moment every woman accepts to be submissive and that Naija man will cheat when he feels like the better marriage will they get. The moment you start you start telling your husband you are equal as the lonely frustrating old cargo feminist are deceiving you then be ready to turn to Single mother. The ration of single mother to Single Dads is about 50:1. Women, learn to be submissive, that your cheating husband may just be a completely faithful husband bcos of your character.

    • Ej

      April 8, 2016 at 8:16 am

      The moment u have that mentality up there, then it becomes ur life, the moment we realise that without God u can’t have a successful marriage, then it won’t work, the moment u enter a marriage having a mentality that he will cheat on you then u will have it #thingsilongthroatfor your mentality people after all watsover true and pure think on the things and u will have them, ask n it shall be given

    • canigetsomeintelligencehere!

      April 8, 2016 at 8:33 am

      As I read your comment, I began to feel very angry but on a second thought I truly feel sorry for you because your outlook is rather very unfortunate.

      Without this perception I doubt that you have made much progress in life. I would recommend strongly that you broaden your outlook and purge yourself of your narrow mindedness. Maybe then you will experience remarkable growth in your life.

      Have a great weekend!

    • Mystique

      April 8, 2016 at 8:34 am

      Did you take your meds this morning???

    • Julie

      April 8, 2016 at 11:42 am

      Look at this one, your answer is being submissive, go and tell your cave daughter and cave sisters to be submissive. Gerrarahee!

    • Marian

      April 8, 2016 at 5:58 pm

      Sadly, lots of parents preach this to their kids and we have all these women brainwashed to think all men cheat. It’s a very sad something. Do we even have enough women to support this theory? Yes, a lot of Nigerian men cheat but it really only looks that way because that’s the only story we see in the news. We don’t have stories to celebrate the wonderful husbands that are faithful.

      When I was younger female virginity was praised and talked about. I felt like every young lady was a virgin. A few years and a plane ride later I felt like everyone but me was getting it.
      Thank God for common sense and my wonderful mommy once again.

  8. Fola Coco

    April 8, 2016 at 8:05 am

    Agreed,start by choosing #Mr Right…. But #MrRight can few years down the line turn to Mr not so Right. And #MrRightNow may turn to #MrRight a few years down the line..

    If you are not committed to working at your marriage everyday(both parties),whether you marry #MrRightNow/MrRight it will/may end in divorce. It also takes the grace of God to keep it together.

    When we(male/female) go back to marrying for love(pure,genuine,undiluted type),and stop seeing marriage as a merger or acquisition of some sorts,just maybe we would have couples being happily married..
    Staying married and happy takes grace,love,being in love,friendship,communication,mutual respect,both individuals understanding their roles,contentment,prayer,respect for one another,patience,understanding,forgiving one another,and not hurting each other’s feelings.

    If the foundation is shaky,if it is built on lies,deceit,materialism,girl got pregnant you just had to marry etc it’s bound to collapse.. What works or worked for the couple who have been together for 20,30yrs etc may not be applicable and used in yours. Find out what works for you as a unit and work with it and at it.

    • whocares

      April 8, 2016 at 11:06 am

      @F.Coco- I did not even read whatever this guy wrote, but re your comment about mergers and acquisition (lo). I have been thinking about it and i think it would be better if we approach marriage as a business. Wait, let me finish. I have some Indian friends, their marriage was arranged by the family (same social class etc etc- it is a business for them. They even have institutions dedicated to the sole purpose of arranging marriages) at least two of those couples have been married for 20 years now. Neither the women nor the men seem unhappy with their lot. They have children, they take care of themselves, they are happy. it could be that they have grown to love each other: when my friend talks about her husband, you can tell that she loves him, if not love then she has a deep fondness for him at least:; although they got married two weeks after they met.
      If you approach something as a business, you want profit, you want it to succeed first and foremost. You both go into it knowing each other’s flaws especially if you go into the marriage knowing this is it and both parties are willing and ready to marry at that stage regardless of what drives them to it (financial security or children) then it should be ok. I might be jaded etc, but I don’t think love is a necessary ingredient for a happy marriage. Both parties have to be in it, have to be decent people to start with and then work their way on from there. I have decided all these emotions (love etc) they just cloud your judgement unnecessarily- but if you find a good person who makes you laugh, and is a decent person then you can build a life with that person outside of the excess of love. Love is excessive, one tiny flaw becomes exaggerated. One silly joke by the person you love which you would laugh at if it came frmom someone else, you find yourself vexing if it comes from them. lool. . I dont know sha. lol
      I just read the bit about “pretty mixed race actress”- This guy is a douche.

    • Fola Coco

      April 8, 2016 at 12:50 pm

      @whocares- Well………
      Businesses fail,you either make a profit or loss. Who you partner with in business also is key and it can potentially mar or make the business. What the business is built on is also key,the vision,mission and what it stands for. It doesn’t necessarily matter how two people become married. Arranged,based on friendship that lead to love,based on social class,etc. The most important thing is giving it your best,working at it,being open and real. What love means is relative,so i would say be with someone you love(whatever that means to you)…Emotions,feelings,attraction etc are real and are needed in the co-existence of a married couple or in any relationship.

      A friend of mine has been wonderfully happily married for 10yrs now.. She had a 1 night stand at a party we attended whilst in the UK,and she discovered she was pregnant few weeks later.
      He did right by her by accepting the pregnancy,even though he wasn’t pleased about it. Both parties didn’t even know each other well enough to say let’s getting married for the sake of the baby.
      They were respectable to each other,cordial and he checked on her during the stages of her pregnancy… Along the line being cordial lead to getting to know each other,to friendship and eventually to romance and marriage..

      As long as we stay true to ourselves and we don’t have unrealistic,grandiose expectations of each other and we go into Marriage/relationship for the right reasons i think that’s a good foundation.

      Love is [email protected],however form it comes be willing to accept and embrace it. I have been hurt a few times,and i have loved and been loved back once in my life,and someone has loved me and i didn’t and couldn’t just love them back.. But i still believe in true love,genuine and sincere love.. it will happen and i will experience it once more before jesus calls me home..

  9. Ej

    April 8, 2016 at 8:17 am

    Sorry Change ur mentality is Wat I wanted to write not thingsilongthroatfor or watever

  10. canigetsomeintelligencehere!

    April 8, 2016 at 8:36 am

    *with this perception

  11. Cheekie

    April 8, 2016 at 8:53 am

    Besides the [email protected],he is right(though nothing new,everyone is aware of all he penned down)

    Some of us need to work on our #Character #Attitude #Personality…If you suck in all even if you marry Mr Right,you just might be the one to destroy your marriage.
    Some women think the attitude they adopt as work/biz as the boss lady,will also work at home. Your husband is not your subordinate,he’s not for you to control like you control figures,and everything/everyone at work. Same works with men too,your wife isn’t your employee..

    We need to allow God and also work on renewing our minds,be careful what you feed your mind. If you go into marriage believing it won’t work,all men cheat,my parents divorced,etc. Chances are it will/may end up being so..
    We need to work on our attitudes and mind set.

  12. skits

    April 8, 2016 at 9:54 am

    Why is this Freeze guy all over the place these days bikonu?

  13. Ariere

    April 8, 2016 at 10:48 am

    This mouth diarrhoea is at it again?! Well, Even though he made some sense here (something he tends not to do most of the time), I still find it difficult to take marriage advice some someone who has failed in Marriage.

    Thanks but no thanks Sir!

    • Ariere

      April 8, 2016 at 11:42 am

      From*

  14. Josephine

    April 8, 2016 at 2:40 pm

    Why use the Danjuma lady as an example when he’s also experienced marital challenges? He even got divorced. If he needed an example he should have used himself.

  15. Emie

    April 8, 2016 at 6:10 pm

    All these long paragraphs for comment . Sha pray for your spouse

  16. ariz

    April 10, 2016 at 12:54 am

    Oga DJ Freeze, i wish someone had given Ope this advise when she got married to you when you had absolutely nothing…mscheeewwww..
    You are here giving advise when you have shown absolutely no remorse with the irresponsible way that you handled the vows you made before God and man, God most importantly.
    Please i advise that you shut your trap and don’t give any advise AT ALL.. about marriage or even business…
    yeye albino!

  17. alwayshappy

    April 10, 2016 at 2:07 am

    “where is your johnny”, johnny don lost oh.
    All the johnny wey comment above are counterfeit . A true soldier( johnny) for christ, daily obedient and submissive to God will not be found playing with fire and firefighters like delilah, greed, adultery, infidelity, gossip, anger, domestic violence, flirting, adulterous thoughts, looking for strange women online, lying, searching for acceptance or love in iyanlaya anybody, unforgiveness, running to flawed humans for direction, guidance or leadership.
    For marriage, only johnny’s wey don find themselves should try it, and the ones that succeed in it do so because they fear God, they mature in Christ, and ego is not their decision making muscle, the natural fruit they bear becomes improving and loving themselves and others better.

  18. please do

    April 15, 2016 at 5:44 pm

    BN lease stop the Carlo Rossi ad video from automatically running. It take my data, Thx

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