Dear Aunty Bella
I write this with so much pain in my heart because I don’t know which decisions to make.
I am a 24 year old single mom and my daughter is 6 years old and has no support from her father because he ran away even before her birth. I am really suffering from serious depression & pain, because things have been very bad and am in the most trying and confused state of my life.
It all started after the birth of my child, I took up a cleaning job at an automobile firm as a cleaner, and I was promoted to a post as a receptionist/ customer care, I decided to further my education, I secured a part time form from a polytechnic in lagos, but my joy was cut short when i was transferred to another department and I faced serious harassment from my immediate boss, insisting that I either give in to him and continue schooling or work and stop schooling, I had to work because I had a child to feed, clothe and educate.
I have the most unsupportive and abusive parents in the world, even after I try my best to provide, care and contribute to the family, they rain abuses on me and even claim that i brought bad luck to the family. I even loaned money from the company where I worked to assist the family and paid with my sweat, but I never had peace.
Recently my dad sold a piece of land from the village and till today no account has being made of that money, this property caused so much rift between my cousins and my immediate family and even brought enmity between us, my mum resigned from her banking job 12 years ago and delved into business but it failed and she finally settled with a teaching job that can hardly feed her properly for one month.
I remembered calling my dad and advising him to switch into another business since the first one was not yielding fruit, but he insulted me, it happened that we were served eviction notice to vacate our house, my father called me, my immediate younger brother and sister to look for money to rent an apartment, we became desperate and at the same time I lost my job, because the abuse from the office became worse and unbearable.
I couldn’t save money because I was catering for my siblings and child, we couldn’t raise the money for the apartment and eventually we were kicked out of the house. We had to stay out for weeks, until I contacted my cousins and sought for help from them, we got an apartment where we stay now but after the whole stress of staying out, my dad fell sick, he had diabetes and he has not being controlling it, eating whatever he wanted, and not visiting the doctor to check his bp and sugar level, currently he is bedridden and cant even talk properly.
My brother has walked away the family, leaving my younger sister and I to cater for the family, one of my younger sister secured admission into a federal university and I had to assist her by securing a loan to pay her pay up her fees, I got a job somewhere very far from the house, and i spend almost all my salary on transportation, I recently started dating someone but he does not care about me at all.
I remember pleading with him to assist me in paying my child’s school fees when I was jobless and he agreed but didn’t send the money till date and didn’t even ask me about it, i also asked him for a loan to purchase a part time form, to restart my education he promised again and didn’t send it, I had to borrow some money from someone else, I love him but it seems he does not feel the same way I feel, I have been advised to take up the JAMB form because my new boss may not grant my request to further my education part-time because some times I work on Saturdays and Sundays, but am scared for my daughter and siblings, knowing fully well that that the rents would expire soon, my child school fees and feeding, I have been advised to take my child to her grandmother but I don’t how she would feel, knowing fully well that she does not them personally and didn’t grow up with them. my sister took over my father’s business but realised that my dad was in serious debt and she has being trying to repay it but it has gotten to a stage where she cant go further because there is nothing for her to sale, she has to repay the debt before making any others.
I seriously need your advice.
Depression is a serious illness. If you are depressed or think you may be depressed, please see a doctor immediately. Also consider counselling and spiritual support.
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