I really need to ask about God. He has promised divine intervention and he has promised to be the provider. He promised to make us happy in this life, why then can’t some of us feel this intervention, this provision or even this happiness.
My life has been the same in the last six years, I can’t feel any growth and I am tired. I am tired because I know how tomorrow would be and how the next would be already. So why stay around? It would be another day of me lurking around the world and celebrating the lives of others. I am tired of being a companion on earth. I am tired of waiting for God to answer me, he doesn’t even know that I am one of those he has left on earth. Before he blessed Sarah with the fruit of
the womb, wasn’t she fulfilled in other areas; and even before he took away from Job, didn’t Job have a lot before losing everything?
Is he truly around because if yes, he answers everyone else but me. I don’t understand where I have gone wrong. I am miserable, unhappy and tired. At 21, I can only feel that my life would keep going at the same pace because it has been the same the last 6 years. I start every project with a great enthusiasm. I do everything with hope. Yet, nothing ever happens.
My family is suffering and my mind is suffering too. I can’t see any growth, any difference. The only difference in my
life the past year has been that I got a University certificate but I am stagnant. I have been told that God answers the prayers of pure hearts. How more pure can I be?
I am human and I have made mistakes but I don’t lie, I wish others well, I have cleansed myself. I have done my best to make sure I avoid sin. I am not a murderer, neither am I a thief. I have remained pure and a virgin, I pray to him always, I cry to him always. He just doesn’t see me. How do I reach him? How do I talk to him that
all I want is to smile and be happy? I want to be happy! I am not asking for riches, I am just asking for joy in my heart.
My heart is dark with unhappiness. I can’t find inner or outward beauty. I feel removed from the world. Oh dear God. I have prayed and prayed to him. I have cried. Fasted to the extent I rejected food as though it was the cause of my predicament. I finished and I was still in the same place. Unhappy and unanswered.
Can I still say I have a purpose among the living because I don’t see
it and I can’t even feel God in my life. I can’t feel him why did he put me in this world to be angry and unhappy. Why did he put me in a place where everyone seems to feel him and I haven’t. Is there a way I should pray that maybe I am not doing so? Is there a way I should talk to him because I am suffering? I am tired of this life he has given me and he is not saying anything to me, he is not even taking it back.
I have seen young and happy people go and I have seen how their lives have been cut short and I have cried wishing I was the one in their place. I need help. I need someone to tell me that there is a way God wants me to pray to him because I don’t know where else to go or who else to pray to. I need someone to tell me about the formula to reach him. I really need to hear it, maybe I have been doing it all wrong.
Photo Credit: Dreamstime