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Aunty Bella: Miss. Unable to Reach God

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Aunty Bella is our  agony aunt column on BellaNaija. We launched this column in the early days of BN and periodically feature issues sent in by BN readers. 
We hope the BN family can offer insightful advice.
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I really need to ask about God. He has promised divine intervention and he has promised to be the provider. He promised to make us happy in this life, why then can’t some of us feel this intervention, this provision or even this happiness.

My life has been the same in the last six years, I can’t feel any growth and I am tired. I am tired because I know how tomorrow would be and how the next would be already. So why stay around? It would be another day of me lurking around the world and celebrating the lives of others. I am tired of being a companion on earth. I am tired of waiting for God to answer me, he doesn’t even know that I am one of those he has left on earth. Before he blessed Sarah with the fruit of
the womb, wasn’t she fulfilled in other areas; and even before he took away from Job, didn’t Job have a lot before losing everything?
Is he truly around because if yes, he answers everyone else but me. I don’t understand where I have gone wrong. I am miserable, unhappy and tired. At 21, I can only feel that my life would keep going at the same pace because it has been the same the last 6 years. I start every project with a great enthusiasm. I do everything with hope. Yet, nothing ever happens.
My family is suffering and my mind is suffering too. I can’t see any growth, any difference. The only difference in my
life the past year has been that I got a University certificate but I am stagnant. I have been told that God answers the prayers of pure hearts. How more pure can I be?

I am human and I have made mistakes but I don’t lie, I wish others well, I have cleansed myself. I have done my best to make sure I avoid sin. I am not a murderer, neither am I a thief. I have remained pure and a virgin, I pray to him always, I cry to him always. He just doesn’t see me. How do I reach him? How do I talk to him that
all I want is to smile and be happy? I want to be happy! I am not asking for riches, I am just asking for joy in my heart.
My heart is dark with unhappiness. I can’t find inner or outward beauty. I feel removed from the world. Oh dear God. I have prayed and prayed to him. I have cried. Fasted to the extent I rejected food as though it was the cause of my predicament. I finished and I was still in the same place. Unhappy and unanswered.

Can I still say I have a purpose among the living because I don’t see
it and I can’t even feel God in my life. I can’t feel him why did he put me in this world to be angry and unhappy. Why did he put me in a place where everyone seems to feel him and I haven’t. Is there a way I should pray that maybe I am not doing so? Is there a way I should talk to him because I am suffering? I am tired of this life he has given me and he is not saying anything to me, he is not even taking it back.

I have seen young and happy people go and I have seen how their lives have been cut short and I have cried wishing I was the one in their place. I need help. I need someone to tell me that there is a way God wants me to pray to him because I don’t know where else to go or who else to pray to. I need someone to tell me about the formula to reach him. I really need to hear it, maybe I have been doing it all wrong.

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97 Comments

  1. Helen

    May 23, 2016 at 10:45 pm

    Hi dear, stay faithful, God is going to come through. I’m going pray along with you for joy, happiness and continuous breakthroughs.

    • Somtoo

      May 24, 2016 at 1:11 pm

      Hey poster, you write beautifully, The way you captured your despair and how you currently feel is heart-wrenching. Can you consider writing? Open your mind to other possibilities and start applying for writer jobs. I am sorry if this not what you want to hear but i think you would be a wonderful writer.

      God is everywhere. He is within you, surrounds you and watches over you. You dont need the theatrics to reach Him. All you need is faith and belief. Just listen to your heart when you pray. With faith, you will begin to feel a sort of comfort and reassurance after you pray. But you have to start applying yourself to tasks, that way, He can help you. I took really low jobs at certain points in my career that paid little but i realise they were stepping stones to bigger things. I am not where i hope to be, i ask God to remember me all the time when i pray, the despair leaves and then i sink into it again.. But then i remember, He is God. He teaches me to profit. Things will get better.

      My brother took a non-paying job in the US. He had a wife and a son on the way but he knew he couldnt sit idle and wait for something to happen to him. Now, his boss cant do without him and he owns his own home over there. He is doing exceptionally well.

      You gotta start somewhere and then watch God bless the works of your hands. He never forgets His own. Good luck

  2. opelolu

    May 23, 2016 at 10:50 pm

    you still have and would fulfill your purpose on earth. you know why?? bcos you are alive. God sees and answer prayers Dont let him go. keep doing everything good and Holy and God would surprise you. take a break relax. stop thinking about your failures or problems and enjoy praising God not only because of what you want

    • Sisi

      May 31, 2016 at 10:54 am

      This – remember He loves you, remember the things you prayed for that He answered (despite how you feel you are not where you were 6 years ago for sure – think about it), praise and worship Him for who He is, with what he has blessed you with find a way to keep busy and serve the people around you, just start somewhere. God is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him Hebrews 11:6 – things might not look how you had them planned out but just trust Him. You can also listen to this song Grace – Tasha Cobbs. You will be fine by God’s grace, I pray his joy and peace will fill you.

  3. abisola

    May 23, 2016 at 10:51 pm

    Sister, please don’t loose hope….God never forsake anyone just kip on praying nd ask for Gods mercy, nd av faith……..am sure God will surely answer you…..remain blessed

  4. GOD IS ABLE

    May 23, 2016 at 10:51 pm

    My dear, do not despair. A thousand years to us, is like a day in the sight of God. Keep counting your blessings. I am also looking unto God for a miracle and I have prayed and fasted since last year. God’s time is the best. Don’t compare your timing to that of others. Keep being prayerful, do good and remain pure in heart and body. Your miracle is on the way. 6 years of stagnation in nothing in comparison to what is coming your way. In fact when you receive your miracle, you will forget those 6 years and remember how God used it to bless you. Praying for you. Remain blessed

    • Kay olu

      May 24, 2016 at 8:31 am

      I know how you feel, do not despair. I was once stagnant for over 8 years. I followed the Word of God, fasted, used the MFM prayer points, I was in the choir, attended vigils, spoke to visiting pastors who came from Naija. People started asking me ‘when and what’ questions. I cried and cried. Ah, has He forgotten me?
      I wasn’t diligent with him, my life was the same, I decided to be diligent, and its the same.
      I’ve got my story and you’ve got yours. I stopped putting so much pressure on my shortcomings and, he gave me the strength to work very hard, extra hard, reduced a few of my religious activities and stopped waiting for a miracle. He was trying to teach me a lot, I had to be humbled, I had to be in the wilderness, but when He saw me through, he gave me speed. I ran, over took and I recovered every single blessing. Wait for your own story, don’t give up.

    • Mzphunby

      May 29, 2016 at 4:11 pm

      Hi, I’d like to use my experience to encourage you. Am 22 years with a BSc, fighting cancer for the third time in 6 years and this time it’s worse. It has spread to my left leg and I can’t walk well anymore, the doctors have given their report.. I just discovered that I don’t know my purpose yet and my passion, my life has no direction. I am stuck in a house where my father is verbally, emotionally, financially abusive. There are times when am severally depressed also but I have to be strong for my mum and siblings. Nobody said life will be easy, it’s ok to be down when you think of ur situation, it’s ok to cry and vent but just like David, encourage yourself in the Lord, as a Christian you are bound to go through trials of faith at every stage of life but always remember when things are so tough and it looks like it’s unending, God will NEVER let us go through a trial if he knows we cannot overcome it. God knows u’r bigger and stronger than ur issues and wit prayer and perseverance u’d overcome. Get a support group, surround yourself with positive people, read books that will encourage you, listen to uplifting music, God sees and he knows and in his due time he’d perfect everything. Be strong!

  5. evergreen

    May 23, 2016 at 10:54 pm

    WOW! Please stay strong, trust me when i say i understand how you feel. I have been in the situation where i felt unheard by GOD but trust that we serve a living GOD and things will surely get better.
    Have you tried speaking to someone, a pastor, a counsellor, family or friends? Please do

  6. Anonymous

    May 23, 2016 at 10:56 pm

    At 21, What do you need from God, Sweet? You have got your university degree. If you know how many people are willing to trade places with you, you will do a dance thanking God for being kind to you. You didn’t mention exactly what is responsible for your unhappiness. So I will advise based on assumptions. First, I think you are on the right track. You focused on your education, that is good. You aren’t engaging in premarital sex, another plus for you; that way you will have fewer regrets in life. You said things seem to be going well for others but not you. I don’t know what they have that you might want. The abandoned projects? don’t worry, everything you do now prepare you for the future God wants for you. I was once you. but at 32, I’m in a happy place now. Just hang in there. There’s the story of the Chinese bamboo tree, google it, and you will see how several years from now, you will look back and thank God for having prepared you in an seeming boring way for what you have become.

  7. finding purpose

    May 23, 2016 at 10:58 pm

    Hey! nobody really has the answers and frankly I have felt that way for a while too
    1. God is very much attentive to you
    2. please download and READ Rick Warren’s Purpose Driven Life. it’s an especially useful tool (and please try to read it)
    3. get around people whose faith inspires you.
    Truth is nobody is 100% anything, most of this life is walked by faith…. will be praying for you.

  8. honeybee

    May 23, 2016 at 11:00 pm

    Wow,I feel unhappy,first of all u should be grateful to God for all you have achieved so far,when you feel down think on the things you have achieved ,and praying to God without faith won’t work,u have to believe before seeing that God has answered your prayers, and also ponder on all the things you wish for,imagine them every time, u will be surprised they will all come to pass..God loves you passionately more than u can imagine,and you have a purpose, pray,believe and be thankful and see God work.

  9. Mr. Egghead

    May 23, 2016 at 11:01 pm

    “. . .and anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him.”

    This is really sad. You may need to seek spiritual counseling from clergy
    I’m not a spiritual expert. Sometimes, like Elijah, we wait for God to come like a thunderstorm when He prefers to come as gentle whispers. Just give Him thanks for what He has done. There must be something worth being thankful for. You have a certificate. You have family. You have health. You have youth and the promise of a future ahead of you.

    It was the praise of Paul and Silas that brought Him down to free them from their chains.
    God doesn’t promise us a life devoid of suffering, but that in our suffering He will be with us.

    May God give you peace

  10. honeybee

    May 23, 2016 at 11:04 pm

    Wow,u feel unhappy,first of all u should be grateful to God for all you have achieved so far,when you feel down think on the things you have achieved ,and praying to God without faith won’t work,u have to believe before seeing that God has answered your prayers, and also ponder on all the things you wish for,imagine them every time, u will be surprised they will all come to pass..God loves you passionately more than u can imagine,and you have a purpose, pray,believe and be thankful and see God work.

  11. Hotspice_yimu

    May 23, 2016 at 11:05 pm

    One word “Grace”. If it’s by good deeds and “pure” heart no one will qualify. Oh and the fasting you did was just hunger strike. The bible says we should pray with understanding I.e don’t drink paradol for malaria and take malaria drugs to make you sleep. You need to build your spiritual self by seeking and understanding the word. Only 6yrs see the epistle wey you type meanwhile some of your mates are still writing jamb to secure a place at the university while you are a graduate. Some of your mates are in brothels with no hope. Give thanks for what “little” you think you have cos its somebody’s dream right now in a boko haram camp. Get off social media cos the way you are now you go just kill yourself and die (need to say it that way).. Stop the pity party before you become suicidal.

  12. Tolu

    May 23, 2016 at 11:06 pm

    Sounds like what an average Nigerian can relate to. An environment where for you to get your basic needs, you must either fast or pray.
    Honey, don’t give up on God. He’ll surely get to you.

  13. Leah

    May 23, 2016 at 11:11 pm

    Or maybe god just does not exist. You are not a thief or a murderer and you have graduated college, so it’s seems to me you are on the right track in a Country that has very little to offer it’s young people. You are a virgin and pure? already then! I’m not sure if you’re “pure” because you are a virgin or the other way around, but whatever. Work hard and do your absolute best. Maybe try other human beings as opposed to an imaginary one.

    I like this trend of people carrying signs around looking for jobs. Keep yourself clean and presentable. Carry your Resume everywhere you go, knock on doors, walk into companies, stop cars, beg people you see on the streets for a job. Make difficult phone calls, get out of your comfort zone and try new things. Hard work and luck might fall in place for you, while you still pray. Remember there is a child born somewhere today who will die of hunger and disease in the most painful way ever and I can’t think of a reason why a god will let that happen.

  14. Late bloomer

    May 23, 2016 at 11:15 pm

    At 21 you have a degree I think it’s something to be thankful for, I realized you didn’t mention what you want God to do for you or what will make you happy, my sister some of those people you think are happy and doing well might just be keeping up with appearances. Let’s start this way don’t see God as a vending machine that it’s only when you need something that you talk to him, how about you talk to him every day tell of the good things he’s done how your day went what you think about things and just pour your heart to him.
    And keep this in mind that when you are afraid just trust in him and things will sort itself and all your needs will be met

  15. Mz Socially Awkward....

    May 23, 2016 at 11:35 pm

    Questions like the ones you posed are really hard to answer because many of us have been where you are but the thing is, God responds to us all in very different ways. So we can’t conclusively give you all the answers you’re looking for… But we can do our best to guide you towards where you’re able to hear from Him yourself.

    So, I think in the first place that you need a break and there’s nothing wrong with taking breaks. Everyone regularly takes one to recoup energy – whether at the weekend after running around like headless chickens during the week (yay, Saturdays!) or long vacations. You need a break from whatever you’ve been doing so far that’s making you sound so emotionally exhausted. And I’ll suggest 2 types:-

    (1) Take a break from all the “activity”. You know what I mean by “activity” & I’m not talking of your job (if you’re working) or business (if you’re self-employed). It’s the other “activities” I’m speaking of, such as serving in a ministry at church (I may be presuming this but it sounds like you might be a part of your church’s workforce), time spent on social obligations… Just take a break from any kind of voluntary commitment which pulls you in different directions. You need to step back in order to refocus/centre yourself & your spirit. Particularly your spirit. Plus there’s no point serving God with vexation if you feel like this.

    (2) you need a break from praying. Note that this is not a break from God, it’s simply a case of stopping what you’re doing right now as it’s not helping you to come into His Presence in any kind of way that helps you hear Him. Give up praying for a while and start praising instead. You don’t think you’re able to, given how you feel? Pick up a CD and play some gospel music. Tune into a gospel radio station. Recall well-loved hymns or traditional gospel songs (I love singing to God in my local dialect as it makes me feel closer to Him) & sing in your mind and out loud. Here’s the thing – you can pray amiss but you cannot praise amiss. See King David? That man would have run mad from his many problems if not for praise. Your soul sounds heavy and needing to be lifted up. Praise with tears, praise with joy, praise out loud or praise in your spirit but you need to PRAISE Him for everything. You can’t praise and feel darkness in your spirit… Mbanu, e no fit happen, not at all. And it’s changed many dark moments in my own life.

    And I’ll say finally that God doesn’t want you to pray to Him because you have nowhere else to go. I’m going to sound a little cheesy and share that I’ve very recently been examining God’s Love language and discovering that it’s simply all about Love. As in… LOVE NWANTINTIN Love. Love that wants to give all. And yes, I have needs and lack (don’t we all?) but I’ll keep anticipating my tomorrow to be better than my past. I’ll choose to focus on His Love to keep me from losing my excitement about seeing what a new day has to offer – ah, the latter must surpass my 3 decades of yesterday, oh!

    Told you it’ll be cheesy… ?? Oya, over to you. Baby steps, nwa nne m. Take a break and do something new with Praise. Find yourself & your way to Him in that quietness and E go better for you, luv… because His Goodness reserved for your sake surpasses the teaser you’ve had in your 21 years so far. Ah, no gree make another person enjoy am for you, oh! Inugo? xx

    • Mz Socially Awkward....

      May 23, 2016 at 11:38 pm

      (Bia, BN… if I keep seeing “error” every time I try to post a legit comment, I’ll send you a query and my data bill. Inugo?)

    • The real D

      May 24, 2016 at 12:15 am

      My sister I tell you na the same thing but I moved from tablet to laptop and it stopped. So maybe BN is no longer tablet friendly.

    • Tincan

      May 24, 2016 at 9:05 am

      Thank you MSA. I saw this post earlier and I thought, I hope MSA responds to this one (i.e. post). Nothing to add. Poster: all she said.

    • Madfam Tf

      May 24, 2016 at 3:29 pm

      God bless you for this response.

  16. Ajala & Foodie

    May 23, 2016 at 11:53 pm

    Uhmm…It sounds like you are depressed. I can’t say for sure since I am no doctor or psychiatrist. We have all been or are still there (our valleys) when we feel like life/God has turned his back on us. Nothing seems to be going right in our lives, one thing that has always helped me is asking God to show me how life could be a lot worse and He usually does. That usually helps keep me on track again, things may not have improved but at least I am able to remain hopefully. I wish we all had a fast track to getting to God would that not be great? I will just encourage you to stand!!! don’t lose hope (yes it is easier said than done) but hope is all we have. That you are 21 with a college degree is actually an accomplishment that some will give limbs and life to have, so you have something. You definitely want to desist from comparing yourself to everyone you perceive are doing better than you while it is not wrong to strive for more it makes us miserable when we focus on that alone.

  17. Sunshine

    May 24, 2016 at 12:23 am

    If you are reading this please send me an email. I will talk with you and share my personal experiences with you. I believe it will help you be thankful and relieve you of a bit. Stay blessed.

  18. Gorgeous

    May 24, 2016 at 12:31 am

    You are young, you push yourself too hard and you are depressed. You can’t move forward till you stop taking yourself so seriously. Everyone in this life has challenges and let me tell you. Life gets harder the older you grow. You just have to find ways to cushion the shocks and blows. Because things are not going your way, you want to commit suicide? I laugh in Spanish. You never see adversity you wan die. My dear life will throw much more curves at you. At least you have a roof over your head, food and Internet to type this message. So be grateful for those little blessings. Some of your mates are out there hawking and sleeping under the bridge, with no assurance of what tomorrow will bring but they have HOPE. Failure is a part of life, you better realize that and embrace determination and consistency. When you are determined and consistent in your efforts you will succeed. Chart out a plan for your life today, and all plans must have plan B, C, D etc. goodluck

  19. King Bey

    May 24, 2016 at 12:36 am

    All I see in all you wrote was “complains” have u for once Thank God b4 or appreciate him for having given your life and good health….Its all not all about you ok….One day when you are all alone ask God”what can I do for you my lord” I bet. You that it will be the begining of a new chapter in your life…Its well with your soul

  20. Patcute

    May 24, 2016 at 12:49 am

    Trust and obey for there is nô other way to be happy in Jésus but to trust & obey. I Know exactly how u feel. God Never leaves, he is always with us. Thé face of d lord Will shine on u this week. TRUST HIM

  21. Hausagurl

    May 24, 2016 at 12:50 am

    There is a certain way you have to communicate to God. Don’t communicate to God anyhow. Be in a steady condition and talk to him. Sometimes it isn’t about going to church. You can just go to a garden, pour out your mind. Talk to him like your mate. Say God, do you know the other day, I was like I will deal with my friend in a hard way but I ended up pouring little salt in her juice. Just be free. Tell him about the year, month, what you ate and how thankful and just what you can think of. In fact tell him you feel angry that it seems like he isn’t answering your prayers and you posted it on Bella. Belive me just try to communicate when you feel like not something you feel guilty about.

    And there is something we need to understand. Patience. If God wants something for you, even if it is between two rivers, if it’s meant for you, it will come to past. It might just be delayed prayers but don’t come here complaining of the showers of God when it gets much. Maybe God is complying them for you. But learn to do things for the sake of God not for the sake of him answering your prayers. Feed a child that is hungry yourself not giving donations. Try to be good in your heart of heart.

    I remember when I was soo dull and I asked God for wisdom and intelligence. I was dull that my dad would say don’t come back to this house with a stupid result. I would cry and shiver. Gurl, it was in secondary school that I got an opened brain. I was soo brilliant and even my lesson teacher was surprise. The shock on his face when he saw me excelling was amazing. Aswear it is still a mystery to me as to how everything came to be but I was happy. I was even saying maybe I’m supernatural. But oh well, I asked for reduction of that. Let me pause.

    Be careful what you also pray for because when it comes in full force you might not be able to control it. Mark every word with this phrase… By the special grace of God. Nothing beats that.

    Be patience and pray with care.

  22. Pretty girl

    May 24, 2016 at 1:18 am

    My dear continue to pray and stay faithful to him he will answer ur prayer at his own time and day. Pls don’t do anything stupid or go any where for a solution to ur probably. Pls

  23. Sisi_kekere

    May 24, 2016 at 1:19 am

    Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord… Keep trusting!! God is always on TIME!!!!!

  24. Cheekie

    May 24, 2016 at 1:22 am

    “Nobody told me that the road would be easy,but i don’t believe he brought me this far to leave me”
    You say you have been stagnant for 6years,yet in those 6years you finished 4years of university. Not sure if the 6years is plus 21(28),or you are 21.
    If only you can sit and count your blessings,they may not be much to you,but you will realize God has been indeed faithful and on your side. I am sorry to say this but all you have done in your post is complain,and highlighted how good and how holy you are. Expecting that,that’s all that’s needed to qualify for God to hear you or help you. His hears are not too short to hear…We have all sinned and have come short of the glory of God, lamenting and complaining is a sin in itself,not being grateful isn’t pleasing to God either. Each day we offend God with/in our words,actions,thoughts etc,so it isn’t about being a virgin(that’s good though)..You don’t need to cajole God with your righteousness,go to him in faith,in humility.

    Truth is there is a place for prayer and there’s also a place for WAITING.. A woman doesn’t get pregnant and give birth same day,it takes 9months…Let go and let God,be patient and know God is working all things together for your good. If you have prayed and prayed,my dear turn up the praise,praise and worship 2hrs,if you can’t 1hr every night,do that for a month or just keep doing it however long. Things will sure happen for you little by little. Bible also says faith without work is useless,you can’t just be praying alone. Girl go out there an hustle and create opportunities for yourself. There’s always something to do,whilst waiting for the multinational jobs. You can volunteer(you get paid stipend for that,and you will gain experience in the process),you can learn a skill via youtube(if you are low on cash),you can teach at an educational center etc. For Grace to abound we also have to be in an atmosphere for Grace to turn up. As long as it’s not prostitution,theft,fraud,my dear any other job just do it.

    Everybody has a story,everyone has moments like this,the journey of life is different for all of us. For some it’s straight,for others you have to go through,curves,bumps,potholes before you get to your destination. Focus on your own journey,focus on your own God,and stop comparing your life’s journey with anyone. At 21 there are people still in uni,many sef, at 21 some died,some are just looking for jamb money,some are ladies of the night,some lost their sight at 19,some already have cancer,some are paraplegics… Ohhhhhhh that men will praise the lord,for his goodness and for his wonderful works to the children of men…We focus so much on the things we don’t have,instead of us to look inward and be grateful for what we do have. God has a special plan for your life including everyone commenting,but we have to have the right attitude. Besides prayer,attitude is everything,a defeatist character can’t get you anywhere.. What should the woman who at 25 had a Bsc,Msc,good job etc but at 50 is still waiting on God for a child do? Whatever challenge(s) you/we are going through today,is also challenging us to learn patience,perseverance,build strength,hope,gratefulness etc…Life isn’t up all the time,its like a pendulum,there’s a season or seasons it’s all roses,and there’s a season we have to live with the thorns. It won’t always be like what you have described,joy cometh in the morning,he always turns things around. My God,our God is a good God,he is a wonder,he is a mighty God. My God that changes seasons and time,the unchanging changer he changeth not,but he changeth all things. If he said it,he will do it,he never promised us a smooth journey,trials an tribulations we shall face,but jehovah will be with us,holding our hands all through,and we will overcome victorious… It’s a collaborative effort,God will be God,but he needs you to believe and trust him. God’ got you babe,just be content with what you have now,and be more thankful for the journey so far. And go out and see what you can do,God blesses the work of our hands,not the tears in our eyes,or how loud we can lament.

  25. Cheekie

    May 24, 2016 at 1:25 am

    I am so sorry for the epistle,it maybe unnecessary but i just had to get it out. Not even sure i made sense with the long words. God bless you all.

  26. Cheekie

    May 24, 2016 at 1:50 am

    @Poster in addition,in the midst of the storms of life,Live life with purpose,intentionally and decisively. He deals with us differently,read autobiographies of great men and women,and you will be amazed at how tough and rough their journey was,what they had to pass through for the success you see they achieved today.. What you feed your mind grows,be careful. Listen to music,read books,download sermons on your phone and listen,dance,laugh,rejoice. Life is too short,and there will always be hurdles to cross at different stages of our lives. It’s only when we die we are free from pain,hurt,failure,sufferings etc. But in christ we can have a fulfilled and meaningful life,regardless of the occasional challenges.. Keep hope alive,your story will change and you will give glory. “The company we keep determines the habit we attract..Who you follow determines what follows you”….

    #Alaseju #NaonlyYouwakaComeCommentsection. The post deserved the over do. Make una no vex.

  27. Storyofmylife

    May 24, 2016 at 1:54 am

    WOW, we are in the same bowl. Our faith is truly being tested like never before. The only difference is my wait has been over a decade. Life is tougher than it used to be and I am sure millions are probably going through the same thing too. Anyhow, I am not here to minimize your problem but empathize with you. Because like you, I have cried countless times, wailed, etc and still no resolve. So I find it particularly odd that I come on BN and voila, I find my story in print – perfect providence and evidence of the holy spirit (a bit reassuring that I am not alone.)

    In my case, I’ve done it all; prayer, praise, tithing, counseling, fasting but still feel like I am not hearing from God. Everything seems bleak, friends and family have abandoned me because they don’t know what to do and this makes it more painful because I have no support system. Nevertheless, my conclusion is.. we serve a living God. The problems we go through is not really about us but to help and bless others. Like you, I see myself as a saint, because I obey God in every area of my life. So it is painful when I have unanswered prayers, while others seemingly enjoy unlimited favor. Is it hard to go on year after year, waiting on the lord, while others around you celebrate? Absolutely! Especially when you’ve served with all your might. But my resolve is; I will reach my promised land and have a testimony tomorrow (only way to remain hopeful). I believe people like you and me may just have been appointed angels on earth to help others. God probably doesn’t see anything wrong with our current situation but instead wants us to be the rock for our neighbor. Painful to accept but only way I can rationalize it – I am serving the lord.

    I wish you luck in finding peace, joy and happiness but I do agree with other commentators, take a break if you need to, don’t feel guilty when you can’t pray because the truth is you have nothing to say. Praise as much as you can, continue to celebrate with others, never hold your tears back in fear of looking like a victim (you’re human after all). After crying, you’ll feel better you let it out and get up the next morning and with renewed grace to go on (albeit Zombie mode but you will walk again). Lastly, no one can offer you true peace and joy nor understand your story and pain points so be careful who you tell it to. Most will run fast, fall like flies in fear of not wanting to be around a sad person so just do what feels right to you and for you. May God heal us all.

  28. Delta geh

    May 24, 2016 at 1:56 am

    Hi there,
    I am only slightly older than you are. Basically a virgin just too. Lies, gossip and sins in general I avoid by God’s grace. Never had a boyfriend either (not looking either lol). I also listen to only Christian music. Basically holy living is my motto. I won’t say I’m perfect but I strive to be like Christ. Not diagnosed with depression but I have had symptoms of it for a while and anxiety too. Great thing is I’m in a much better place mentally! I wish you explained a little more why you’re feeling sad so I’ll be able to help better. But there have been times when I basically just wanted to give up on God since I was doing all the right things but was depressed while people who didn’t know Christ seemed happy but I tell you it was a journey into discovering who God really is. I started studying my Bible more and praying a lot more. Sometimes it’s not just about the fasting. Are you talking too much and not listening enough? To continue, I soon discovered God speaking to me. Sometimes I would be so depressed and in those times I would be praying and I’ll just say I want to open my Bible to read, will open to a passage that spoke directly to my needs and just find that ah! I don’t need to worry about that issue again. But the thing with depression is there isn’t just one issue. Now God didn’t solve it all at once. It was a gradual process into recovery but I tell you I am in a much better place right now! Much much better! Sometimes when I feel hopeless I think back about those moments of miracles it makes me believe that all God has promised me will come to pass. That’s another thing with studying the word and praying. Even if the miracles don’t happen immediately, God can also reveal to you how your life will turn out. Mind you even at the beginning of these troubles, I read my Bible and God promised He will roll the problem away and He said exactly how He will do it… guess what? The pattern of recovery has just been the exact way He spoke to me.
    I don’t know if it’s lack of money that’s making you unhappy but trust me there are people out there who have money but are deeply unhappy. Find your happiness in God and in being content and you’ll see things turning around. I remember one time when I was sad. I just decided to count my blessings and be thankful and that day was better. When your happiness comes from God only and not from what you have, you’ll be guaranteed of a sure and lasting happiness.
    The fact that you graduated means that God has not forgotten you. As someone said earlIer there are people still struggling with JAMB. I know it’s hard but please hold on. In the main time, occupy yourself and try to do things that will build you professionally, spiritually, physically, it may look stupid but try to improve yourself on the things you can control not on the things you can’t control. God sees you my friend! He does! It just seems as though it’s taking time but hold on! He’s up there! I know it’s tough! But this is the time to draw closer to God. I see how you just breezed through Job’s story as though it was just suffering and recovery but I want you to see Job’s reaction when he was going through those hard times. It was those reactions such as ‘though he curse me i won’t sin against Him’ (not exact words but something in those lines) that made Job gain more than what he had before. Don’t give up! And please continue with the righteous living, It is really going to help you! Don’t just pray, study the word! Cos it’s through the word also that God will speak to you.
    I even remember one day I was going through it… Was depressed. One random guy where I was doing a temporary job just walked up to me and said something that addressed exactly how I was feeling and that was God right there speaking through the man. The man didn’t even know what I was going through. Another time, I was having another problem and same guy wrote me a Bible passage mind you, guy looked rasta so I think he just wrote it to try to be my friend. I tell you I mistakenly opened a different passage cos I read what he wrote wrongly but God used it to solve a problem I was going to later have in the day. Point is this is how God was speaking to me. And all these events have cumulated into me getting better. Don’t give up! God has great plans for you! this is a test! Your reaction counts! If you have any questions let me know and I’ll be sure to answer them 🙂 hope things get better for you soon. I’ll make sure to pray for you 🙂 I even decided not to come to bellanaija today but I mindlessly typed the website into my phone and this was the first story I saw. I hope I have helped.

  29. Chi

    May 24, 2016 at 2:07 am

    Work for free. Volunteer your gifts, skills and talents. Enroll in a postgraduate degree. Learn a craft you’re interested or develop yourself in one you are good at. By all means keep yourself busy. Don’t worry dear, and this too shall pass. Remain prayerful, pure-hearted and celibate. Try to look for little things that go on well in your day. Stay happy. Even if your not feeling happy act as if you are. You’re fine. Everything would be fine.

  30. Jojo

    May 24, 2016 at 2:16 am

    Hey Dear, first of all congratulations for making it thus far and for reaching out. Firstly you need to stop comparing your life to others it’s the thief of your joy. Everyone is on a different journey and season in their life and you don’t know what they are going through individually. You are so blessed and educated and you have a lot to be grateful for! God did not give keep on this earth for nothing, do you know how many generations ‘s of people God orchrastred so you could be here in this very moment! He is intentional. I think that everyone ones journey and walk with God is very different. We must crawl before we walk and walk before we run. I know how it feels when your keep talking to God and you’re wondering why he isn’t speaking back to you. It’s all based on a lot of things God is always speaking in different way we just have to tune in to his frequency, get still and don’t let it consume you take it day by day and wait for his promoting and leading. Sometimes God is silent for a season, but you need wisdom on what you should do during this time. I’m not sure how your spiritual life is but you seem like you have it together, it’s his Grace ultimately the justifies you. You will get better at hearing him and growing in an intimate relationship with Him, just be patient and let it be a daily walk not a destination. You have a purpose and everything will happen in God’s time . You may need to get yourself a spiritual mentor, ask God to bring someone who can guide you in spiritual things. There are a lot of online resources that I find really useful, for a range of topics including yours for people around our age 20s etc. Firstly Joshua Eze, pastor Shane Wall (feast of the lord), Heather Lindley, Stephenie Ike, Sarah jakes, Toure Roberts (onechurchla), Priscilla Shirer and Steven furtick. They all have amazing videos on YouTube and books online. Feed on those and continue to build yourself up in the word. Ensure you are in the church that God wants you to be in as well and surround yourself amongst positive people. God does want to speak to you and he wants to guide you every day. Anything else you make think ot false.Take away your perceptions on how you think it should happen or how you’ve seen it happen, God is extremely creative and he will reveal himself in different ways. Continue to speak to him that’s what prayer is and listen be patient to wait be diligent in seeking him. Lastly don’t overcomplicate this take it one day at a time knowing that he is with you and has no evil or bad intentions towards you, I cant give you all the answers only the Holy spirit can engage with him. I’m praying for you so you can see clearly from a place of victory and not defeat. Don’t forget that we win in this battle called life there’s is nothing to be anxious or worried about God will protect guide and lead you in your purpose on earth God bless you xoxo

  31. Allergic to Iberibe

    May 24, 2016 at 2:35 am

    My dear, I understand how you feel in more ways than you can imagine. Our stories are so similar but I’m a bit older than you are. For me it’s been one health related scare or worry these past six years so I broke down completely a few months back. I felt like I did not deserve any of it, I wasn’t a thief, I wasn’t a murderer, I was a virgin, I prayed regularly, etc. So I felt like these things were enough for God to never let me worry over a thing. (Funny right?) I even felt resentment.

    Its not like I haven’t felt God at work in my life in the past, I have. These past few months made me realize however that I had slowly forgotten them. Not that I didn’t remember them at all, but that I had at a point in my life stopped putting any weight to them.

    God wants a relationship and this goes beyond constant prayer. I realized that I had forgotten how to give thanks, that the mere fact that I was praying to him inside an airconditioned room was a privilege. The fact that I could walk, the fact that I could eat, that I could breathe!! There is just so much to be thankful for and as human beings we often fail to see beyond our current suffering.

    I had to change the way that I prayed. There was nothing wrong with the old way but I had become so used to it that it gave little room for emotion. I had to make thanks a huge part of my current routine, so I now thank God that my current problems are what they are and not something much worse. My faith needed the most work because I realized that worry and fear are equivalent to doubt.

    Here’s my advice, when you pray, do not consider any other outcome other than what you’ve prayed for. Thoughts will creep into your head, you are only human but do not give them audience. Also incorporate thanks and praise, thank God for all he has done, no matter how small. No matter how difficult it is, try to see God as someone on your side, someone who loves you unbearably and wishes for you every good thing that you wish yourself. Lastly, begin to look at your problems as things that will eventually end, I’m not saying that you should give God ultimatums but start believing in faith that a time will come when you will remember all of this, it helps.

    Here are some of my favorite Bible verses for times like this:

    “I alone know the plans I have for you, plans to bring you prosperity and not disaster, plans to bring about the future you hope for.” Jeremiah‬ ‭29‬:‭11‬

    “For it was by hope that we were saved; but if we see what we hope for, then it is not really hope. For which of us hopes for something we see? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.” Romans‬ ‭8‬:‭24-25‬

    Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Never rely on what you think you know.” Proverbs‬ ‭3‬:‭5‬

    “To have faith is to be sure of the things we hope for, to be certain of the things we cannot see.” Hebrews‬ ‭11‬:‭1‬

    “We know that in all things God works for good with those who love him, those whom he has called according to his purpose.” Romans‬ ‭8‬:‭28‬

    “Don’t worry about anything, but in all your prayers ask God for what you need, always asking him with a thankful heart. “Philippians‬ ‭4‬:‭6‬

    If you are Catholic also consider intercession, It could be Mary the mother of God (Favorite), it could be any of the apostles or saints. Ask them to pray for you.
    (And before anyone comes for me, remember that this is about God and you have no right to judge. I’m also of the belief that if you can ask a priest, a reverend sister, a pastor, your mother, your siblings, your church etc to pray for you, you can also ask those close to God too.)

    If you use any iOS or android device, then you should consider downloading the Youversion Bible application and the Abide prayer app. They are both free and Godsent!

  32. Nena

    May 24, 2016 at 2:44 am

    Hello love, I have read your story. And from experience too…. I have been through worse the past 10 years, but those ten years I felt I was in the dark; God was trying to get through me, but I didn’t listen. I was to busy trying to please him, and was asking him to do things, rather than meditate on his word, agree to he’s word, be faithful no matter the circumstances, and most of all being THANKFUL!! ………My love all that keeps coming to me is that, go back to God, and tell him that you are thankful for everything he has done, he’s doing and is about to do. Don’t envy your friends happiness, because you never know what’s behind that. Take time to be with God and ask him what he really wants of you, and ask him to help you understand and hear when he speaks.

    I can’t say much, but don’t stop praying to God till what you ask of him comes to pass, and even if it does, ask for another and be very, thankful…. remember the story of Joseph…… God is bringing you through your break through, you are almost there don’t give up love. Soon God will bless you with a testimony. Xoxo good luck. ??

    • Nena

      May 24, 2016 at 9:38 am

      I also forgot to mention I’m 21 also, I just turned it, a month ago, so take it from your fellow age group, God’s got your back love, sit back and relax as he does the cleaning up for you ????

  33. Honeycrown

    May 24, 2016 at 3:04 am

    I just finished reading this quote less than 5 minutes ago, “DON’T BE DISCOURAGED. IT’S OFTEN THE LAST KEY THAT OPENS THE DOOR.” I felt I needed to share so I put it on my profile. I decided to check BN, only to read your post. I strongly feel that message/quote is for you. Everyone has said everything I could have said. Count your blessing my dear and you’ll be surprised what the Lord has done for you. Keep your head up ??

  34. TIS

    May 24, 2016 at 3:04 am

    He wouldn’t have created you if he didn’t have a purpose for you, God is not going to bless you cos you live a holy life, He’s going to bless you based on what his word says so everytime you get those thoughts and feelings of unhappiness, meditate on the joy of the Lord.

  35. K

    May 24, 2016 at 3:06 am

    Hi dear. God loves you and wants the best for you. Just say a heartfelt prayer to him at a time you know you won’t be disturbed. Tell him exactly how you feel and what you want. Remind Him of His promises to you and tell him how you’ve been trying to obey His commands. Quote him and tell him in faith because He honours his word than His name. Above all, be thankful for the gift of life and the other great things. Once there’s life, there’s hope. Make a list(mental or written) of all the great things God has done for you and thank Him. Remember that some people have it worse. Imagine being diagnosed with cancer or some other depressing terminal illness in this bad economy. So there’s a lot to be thankful for. Hold out and trust God.

  36. f

    May 24, 2016 at 3:10 am

    sometimes we feel that God does not hear us but he really does cos his always on time …having being where you are now..but suddenly the lord showed up and he still showing up for me ..one thing u should consider doing is to stop comparing yourself with other people ,that alone cause more stress ..we are all travelling to the same destination but with different means.my dear hang in there God will come through for you

  37. Hopeful

    May 24, 2016 at 3:20 am

    My dear….where do I start from? I can relate, I definitely understand you. I mean trust me. You should be grateful that you got your university certificate at 21, now I envy you. You want me to tell you my story? I’m 23 and I’m YET to get into university, got out of high school about 6years ago, I’m still waiting. Do you want to know how I feel, do u know how many of my friends have graduated and are working? Even the ones I was ahead of in high school. My younger brother is in his 300 level in school, sitting for his exams. I asked him yesterday how it’s been, he said it’s been good so far and said this to me “I should let you know this,it might seem like your baby bro’s almost done with school and you’re not in yet,i know that feeling in there,seems like a world torn apart but you gotta hang in there,don’t look at everything you’re going through now,the weight and depth of those pains,represents the size and height of the joy that’s to come,focus on that”. I just couldn’t cry when he sent it to me. Right now, I’m clueless and have no direction. The number of times I’ve cried, prayed, fasted, thought about committing suicide( but I had to put into consideration my mum,she’s the only parent we have, and my three siblings). My dad’s late.

    I’m not telling you all these to kind of make you feel sad or lose hope but to let you know he make all things beautiful in HIS time not ours. LoL don’t asks when his time is gonna be, I have zero idea but he said in HIS time. I got to watch the trailer to this movie WAR ROOM, you might have seen it. I heard it’s a beautiful one. I took something practical from it, I’m gonna create a space get my sticky notes, write down my prayer requests and go to that room everyday to pray, you should try it too, it might work for us. It brought a fact about Prayer being a powerful weapon and you being a warrior on your knees.

    Asides from the fact that I’m not in school, I still have other issues on my mind. My dear, shebi you are still alive there’s hope made. Just keep on pushing. Bad things don’t last forever. I wish we cold just give ourselves a very big hug now but don’t worry everything will be fine.

    • shield

      May 24, 2016 at 3:49 pm

      Hello Hopeful, getting into a higher institution is great but it is not heaven. Please find something else you like doing that you can learn and start doing that. Maybe a business, a trade, photography, etc.

    • shield

      May 24, 2016 at 3:50 pm

      Also, if there are subjects you keep failing, then maybe that is not your field. E.g, you keep failing Chemistry, Physics, it could be you are not a science student. Pray and ask God to direct you to your purpose.

  38. Waiting

    May 24, 2016 at 3:35 am

    Listen to John Waller’s song “While I’m waiting.” I just have two suggestions.
    1. Focus on all the positive things in your life…count your blessings one by one. Give thanks for every single one because we don’t deserve anything from God based on our “works” or supposed holiness. It’s all because of His grace and mercy we are not consumed.
    2. Turn your focus outwards. Take a break from examining your life from every angle and agonizing over the tiny details. Try to help someone else in need, try to be an answer to someone’s else prayer.
    Unfortunately hun, God has not promised us a easy or happy life. Quite the contrary, the Bible says in this life we will have tribulation, but be encouraged…God is not very interested in making us happy in this life, His main concern is our soul, building Godly character in us, and making us into creatures that look more like Christ each day.

  39. jojo

    May 24, 2016 at 3:59 am

    Hey Dear, first of all congratulations for making it thus far and for reaching out. Firstly you need to stop comparing your life to others it’s the thief of your joy. Everyone is on a different journey and season in their life and you don’t know what they are going through individually. You are so blessed and educated and you have a lot to be grateful for! God did not give keep on this earth for nothing, do you know how many generations ‘s of people God orchrastred so you could be here in this very moment! He is intentional. I think that everyone ones journey and walk with God is very different. We must crawl before we walk and walk before we run. I know how it feels when your keep talking to God and you’re wondering why he isn’t speaking back to you. The first things first, if you want to hear God speak to you try reading His words to you(the Bible), God speaks to us that way, the Holy spirit will give you promptings and revelations, also get to know Him more personally. You need to be 100% content with just being with God and nothing else He is more than enough! (seek the kingdom and everything will be added to you-Matthew 6:33, the kingdom is in you it’s your spiritual state continue to grow and develop and everything you need will be provided for). It’s all based on a lot of things God is always speaking in different way we just have to tune in to his frequency, get still and don’t let it consume you take it day by day and wait for his promoting and leading. Sometimes God is silent for a season, but you need wisdom on what you should do during this time. I’m not sure how your spiritual life is but you seem like you have it together, it’s his Grace ultimately the justifies you. You will get better at hearing him and growing in an intimate relationship with Him, just be patient and let it be a daily walk not a destination. You have a purpose and everything will happen in God’s time . You may need to get yourself a spiritual mentor, ask God to bring someone who can guide you in spiritual things. There are a lot of online resources that I find really useful, for a range of topics including yours for people around our age 20s etc. Firstly Joshua Eze, pastor Shane Wall (feast of the lord), Heather Lindley, Stephenie Ike, Sarah jakes, Toure Roberts (onechurchla), Priscilla Shirer and Steven furtick. They all have amazing videos on YouTube and books online. Feed on those and continue to build yourself up in the word. Ensure you are in the church that God wants you to be in as well and surround yourself amongst positive people. God does want to speak to you and he wants to guide you every day. Anything else you make think ot false.Take away your perceptions on how you think it should happen or how you’ve seen it happen, God is extremely creative and he will reveal himself in different ways. Continue to speak to him that’s what prayer is and listen be patient to wait be diligent in seeking him. Lastly don’t overcomplicate this take it one day at a time knowing that he is with you and has no evil or bad intentions towards you, I cant give you all the answers only the Holy spirit can engage with him. I’m praying for you so you can see clearly from a place of victory and not defeat.Don’t forget that we win in this battle called life there’s is nothing to be anxious or worried about God will protect guide and lead you in your purpose on earth.
    God bless you xoxo

  40. ballingbae

    May 24, 2016 at 4:12 am

    I don’t know why you are complaining.
    I know a 25yrs old lady who is still struggling for admission into the university.
    I don’t know the root of your predicament but do these few things, I’m not promising you instant results but I would do same if I were in your shoes.
    Here we go,
    1). Stop comparing or measuring other people’s success with yours.
    2). Do not be envious of your friends.
    3). Be grateful to God for all He’s done for you,sing praises often and while praying, thank Him for His blessings before asking for your various needs.
    4). Find a hobby, something you enjoy doing, You can start a free blog on blogger and write on anything you are interested in because I noticed you write do well
    5) Look for inspirational blogs online or you can start one

    That’s all I have to say,God bless you.

  41. Wande

    May 24, 2016 at 4:26 am

    Hi dear,
    I am so sorry that life has been tough for you. I would like to say that I love you and God loves you and want you to live a victorious life on earth. God has given us everything we would ever need, not because we are good, or nice or don’t wish people bad, but because Jesus already paid the price. So you are eligible for all the good things. It is your right (Rm 8: 32 “He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things?”). Never forget this, you deserve every good thing.

    The thing though is that there are instructions and insights in the bible on how to see these blessings manifest in your life. That’s why the accurate teaching and understanding of God’s word is so important. Teaching on righteousness, on faith and on grace. You have to KNOW so that you can SEE. Ps 82:5-7 talks about even though God has made us gods-meaning victors, we may not experience it because we don’t know.

    You need to learn these things, join a bible based church, get proper spiritual materials, listen to faith based messages and as you study, the Holy Spirit would show you exactly what to do.

    Don’t give up dear. God is routing for you and so am I. God bless you. If you want to talk further, you can send an email to [email protected]

  42. Noms

    May 24, 2016 at 6:54 am

    The moment you realize these;
    God’s plan for his children are of good and not evil.
    God loves us no matter what
    Our righteousness is as a filthy rags in the sight of God
    God shows mercy on who he wishes to show mercy
    And so on…you don’t get things from God because you please Him,you can’t please God. All you need to do is keep believing on the finished work of Christ on the cross of Calvary and not on your “dead works”. You cannot be holy enough to bless God. We are all hid in Christ in God ,Jesus Christ is our covering.
    When I was your age(21), I was a graduate too and a virgin(not pure) lol , I thought being a virgin and trying to leave “righteous” makes me qualified for some certain things…I’m not saying live a wayward or an “unholy” life but just believe in God knowing HE loves you no matter what and His ears are not deaf to hear.
    There is time for everything under the sun…weeping may endure for a night but joy comes in the morning.
    Now, I’m 31, still a virgin(still not pure) still single, with a job that can buy about 500Litres of fuel @145…but I have learnt to be grateful for the things I have now…sanity,good health,family,friends,job,creativity… I know God restores and the years that seem wasted will be restored. Never doubt God’s love and existence no matter what.

  43. bar 2

    May 24, 2016 at 7:38 am

    Hey poster. I am a 27 year old woman living in my 2nd cousin’s house. A certified lawyer but i hate the thought of practising law , i feel like i wasted so many years of my life trying to study law. I am currently jobless but have an amazing idea i have been working on for over 3 years now. All this i have done yet it seems my help or my change is far away. I am single as well and broker than broke the only money i have in my hand bag is 50 Naira. The only thing I have is Jesus Christ and that’s more than enough. I didn’t think i will ever say that but am thoroughly happy. I asked Him this morning, I begged Him to breathe on me that I may be a blessing to myself and others. All i have is promises exceedingly great ones at that. Does it hurt to see others live their best life and you can only look on from the outside absolutely. But i have learnt to celebrate the things I have Spiritual blessings. I am learning to genuinely love people, patience, kindness and service to others etc. It might not look like much but it is a lot. God has not forsaken you He couldn’t do that even if He wants to. I know you want happiness, it starts with focusing only on Jesus. As much as that might be difficult but that’s the only way you can find what you want. When you do that He will paint beautiful pictures of your life and fulfill them at the right time. But while you wait find Him and only Him. Then shall all things fall in place for you. God bless you today.

  44. no be today

    May 24, 2016 at 8:09 am

    my dear, at 21, u already have your uni degree, at 24 I am still battling with completing my OND due to C/O’s. I am not unintelligent, everyone tells me that,I just picked a wrong class(sciences, instead or arts were I would HV triumphed).I understand perfectly how you feel, sincerely, I hate myself year in year out for the mistakes I made in sec.school. or is it about the house we currently live in? where noting good has ever happened to my family in? lost my mum in dis stupid house, my dad lost his sight in this same house, and he isn’t even making any effort in leaving this God forsaken house. so many issues I CNT even discuss, you have no idea how many people have mad issues out there, but we just haven’t told Bella about it. please my darling that things early, God dey, and like they tell me,”he is planning something great for you. u know he knows the end even before it begins, he is great like that. go out there, learn a trade, change tour church if need be, make new friends, cos my own friend and my younger one keep me sane. I try not to face the reality of d status of my life.good things would happen. keep holding on

  45. O'Kel

    May 24, 2016 at 8:58 am

    Hi darling, I wish I could talk to you, call you or something. Would you like that? Then send me your number on [email protected]
    I will be praying for you.

  46. Tincan

    May 24, 2016 at 9:21 am

    The only other thing I can do/say is the only thing I know how to do in time of trouble. Dear Father, we thank You for this poster’s life. We thank You for all you have done in her life thus far, but even moreso for all You are to her. Lord, You knew this poster before You formed her in the womb, You formed her inward parts and You have loved her with an everlasting love. Lord Jesus, I pray that You would reveal Yourself to the poster in ways that will be obvious to her, I pray that she’ll begin to experience the depth of Your love. I pray that she’ll fall away from works and fall in to Your love. I pray that You would sanctify her mind and that as she stays her mind on You, You will bring her peace that is inexplicable. I pray that you would cause her to laugh in ways that she could not ever have imagined and I pray that she will look upon today as the day of turning in her life. Through Christ our Lord Jesus – Amen

  47. Person

    May 24, 2016 at 9:25 am

    It sounds like depression. You ever consider that maybe you have mental issues? I will suggest you see a mental health professional. – “My heart is dark with unhappiness. I can’t find inner or outward beauty. I feel removed from the world- This is a very worrisome quote from what you have said. You need to get help. All the best.

  48. Adesanmi01

    May 24, 2016 at 9:38 am

    You just stand, When all your courage seems to fail, Stand, when it seems that evil will prevail. Stand, for He shows us in detail that His love will never fail, And He’ll stand with You. You just stand, When you’ve said all that you can say, Stand, and trust the Lord to make a way, Stand, and live your life from day to day. Trust God to make a way. And then walk through it. For God has not given us the spirit of fear, But He’s given us love and power and the courage to resist the tempter’s snare, So be not weary in doing well for only time will tell that all the works He’s begun in you, Will help to see you through and know His word is true. And everything He’s promised, He will do. So having done all to stand, you just stand. Though you feel no one’s on your side. Stand, and defy the urge to run and hide. Stand, though gloom and darkness override. Trust my God to turn the tide and pull you through it, He’ll do it. All you’ve got to do is stand!!!

  49. Ruth

    May 24, 2016 at 10:11 am

    Just keep thanking God and praising Him for all you have. A lot of people don’t have what you have. And like the bible says ‘His ways are not our ways,neither are His thoughts our thoughts’ Don’t give up just yet,God’s got you and He will see you through. Whenever you feel down,just thank Him in advance for what you want and thank Him for what you already have. In due time, He will come through for you. You might not see it or know it yet but God is definitely working on your behalf and soon you will see the manifestation . I will just encourage you to give Him more thanks and praise . Complain less and worry less. God is in control . and I pray that He removes the darkness FROM your heart and give you joy unspeakable in Jesus Name.

  50. Spunky

    May 24, 2016 at 10:49 am

    I understand how you feel. We all do (judging from the comments). Most of us have walked a mile in your shoe. You need to assess the way you live; if you do the same thing over and over, there’s no way you can get a different result. You should get out of your comfort zone, put on a positive mind set and believe the world is yours to conquer. Do no whine!! It doesn’t change anything…good luck sweet.

  51. Chiclero

    May 24, 2016 at 10:53 am

    The summary of all you’ve written to me is one word DEPRESSION.
    Young lady, you need to see a mental health professional.
    BN pls could she be linked with the doc who writes mental health articles for the blog.

  52. ndi

    May 24, 2016 at 11:01 am

    My Dear, Hang on there. This was my story years ago. I struggled so much and cried a lot most times wishing that I WILL DIE.. But today, I can BOLDLY look back and say, GOD IS TOO MUCH. He gave a husband and has blessed us abundantly. Imagine if I had died then, What will be my story today? So please keep holding on. God will show up unexpectedly for you. Just keep HOPE alive. It is well with you.

  53. Cub of the Lion of Judah

    May 24, 2016 at 11:08 am

    HE NEVER EVER FAILS AND HE IS FAITHFUL!!!!! ‘From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I’ < Psalms 61 Vs. 2. this verse of the scripture has helped and is still helping me., whenever I feel like God has changed HIS address, I try to still my heart and say that verse as a prayer. Try worshiping, stop praying..
    'Even when I cant find thanks in my heart for what God is doing, I can always find praise for who He is' – Rachel Wojo.
    HANG IN THERE!! THIS TOO SHALL PASS, and trust me, you will look back a month from now and laugh at yourself.

  54. MUSE

    May 24, 2016 at 11:09 am

    Dear Aunty Bella,

    This cannot be my life..Long…Help me

    My husband has been texting with another woman. And I am embarrassed to say that this is not the first time. He had a text relationship with this very same woman over 5 years ago, a mere 30 days after we got married. It was graphic and sexual in nature. He used to date her before me. He swore it was just texting and they hadn’t slept together since they broke up a year before we got together. I believed him. I forgave him. We moved out of that town and worked on rebuilding trust. Things were good. We had regular couple ups and downs but no other affairs (and yes, to me this is an affair). Flash forward to February this year. He lost his job, I was 3 months post partum and really struggling. We were not doing well but we stayed strong, I thought, and held it together. Mid march, DH gets a new job. It doesn’t pay well at all but we are surviving, managing. This new job however, has him working form 1:30pm – 10pm. I work from 8am – 5pm. I am usually in bed by 9. I try to stay up occasionally but it is hard. He gets home at 10:30 and then if we talk until even 11 and the baby gets up to eat at 2 then is up for the day at 6, I am exhausted. April comes and he gets a weird phone call around 6pm on his day off. I see the name “Dina” pop up on the phone. He refuses to answer and looks terrified. She calls back, I tell him just to answer. He goes into a different room and answers. I know. I know what is happening. Dina is NOT the ex by the way. She’s new. He comes out of the room. I tell him to get out. He cries. Apologizes, says “nothing happened”. He was lonely, I’m a bitch, life is hard, blah blah blah. I forgive him. We have a daughter. A beautiful baby girl that we begged God for. He said it wasn’t physical, we WERE having a hard time. Maybe I was a bitch. Maybe I have not been a good wife lately. So I forgave him and we worked towards our future. Present day – I got a raise last week. A good one. This raise will finally help us out of the financial hole we are in. Life is looking up! WRONG. I woke up at 5:30 this morning in a panic. I had this sinking feeling like I needed to check his phone. When I did, I found very graphic texts to another woman. The ex. He told her he was single. He told her he was dating. That he had been with a chick for a long time (me) but that I was a bitch and it didn’t work out. I woke him up and told him to leave. He acted like he had no idea what was going on. I showed him the texts. He said nothing. Not one word. The baby woke up. I had to get ready for work. I am dying inside. He is silent. I get ready for work. He is still sitting in bed. Silent. I get the baby ready…silence. He kisses her goodbye. I take LO to daycare. I am heartbroken. I get to work. Nothing. No texts no apology. Nothing. I am weak. I text him. He blames me. I am always tired, I am always on my phone, I don’t like his family, I am not fun, I am different, I’ve changed. He never apologizes. Says he is leaving.
    I am dying. I have a baby. How is this happening. I am a mess. Help me navigate this shit storm that is my life.

  55. Ch

    May 24, 2016 at 11:19 am

    I wish you had actually stated what’s making you feel this way. Honestly, at 21, most people still don’t have a clear direction for their life and it doesn’t mean they won’t make something good out of it in later years, So when you feel this disillusioned at 21, how will your emotions be at 40? The bible says that David encouraged himself in the Lord 1 Sam 30:6. You need to encourage yourself in the Lord. All the things you mentioned that you do like being pure and a virgin, ” I have done my best to make sure I avoid sin”, etc made me smile. You cannot avoid sin by your own power, your virginity doesn’t make you pure. Those are just works which will be tried through the fire 1 Cor 3:13, will they be withstand the heat of the fire? The bible declares that our righteousness is of God, we are saved by faith not by works. Your relationship with God should be one of love, a daughter communicating with her father, and not you seeing God as an ATM who dispenses answers to your requests (I can perceive in my spirit that that’s the way you see God). God has 3 answers, Yes, No, Wait. Is it every time you ask your earthly father for stuff that he gives you immediately or even gives you at all? Do you love him less because of that? How much more our Father in heaven. You need to speak with someone, maybe the Pastor in your ministry or a mentor you look up to spiritually, and let them break down God’s unconditional love to you and how we ought to love Him back. There is nothing wrong with you, and I pray you don’t sin these feelings you are having esp with this statement you made “I am tired of this life he has given me and he is not saying anything to me, he is not even taking it back.” Remember, Jesus talked about sin being committed from the heart even when it hasn’t been executed physically (when he was talking about adultery). Hence, this means the thoughts on our mind will also be judged. Purge your heart of impure thoughts, blame game, etc. Focus on getting better at whatever it is you are doing at the moment, love God and pray to Him simply (there’s no gymnastics attached to talking to God), praise, praise, praise Him. move closer to godly people, change your church if you have to (if you feel you are not getting that undiluted word from God), and most importantly, read your bible (that is the easiest and quickest way God speaks to people). Everything is already in the word, the bible is complete, you do not need any special prophet to tell you things or revelations, it is all in the word!!!

  56. beauty

    May 24, 2016 at 11:37 am

    First of all Self Righteousness alone is not enough to keep you safe from the problems of the world, because this world surely has problems and everybody gets a fair share of it, in different degrees according to your level of spirituality. Being a virgin in itself is not what makes you pure, it is the motive behind being one, which is decency, modesty and contentment ( i.e. not willing to sell your body for materialism). Having said all this my dear, you need not fret or worry. Your problem is a bit beyond you. You need to see a spiritualist ( pastor, priest, man of God etc.) who would guide you on what to do (give you bibles verses, prayer points, deliverance service etc.). He would pray with you to defeat this phase of your life. Go to a strong household of God. Cases like this isn’t new to true men of God. Before you do all this, tune your mind strictly to positive thoughts, its the beginning of your victory. God is your strength, darling.

  57. justdeywakapass

    May 24, 2016 at 11:49 am

    Until u let go, u cannot let God. My Bible says that we ask and we do not receive because we ask with the wrong motives. Ur stagnation, from all I’ve read, is deduced from a life measured up by the standards of the society. U have refused to acknowledge God’s blessings for the little things he has done, just as someone pointed out, and by so doing even when a big one comes, u would not see it unless it is at par with what the society defines as blessings. U know what, until u surrender and be humble not seeing your achievements as due to ur strength and intelligence, God will be there waiting. NOTE, even Jesus surrendered when he couldn’t get God to change His mind about the journey to the cross.

  58. A.MARY

    May 24, 2016 at 11:55 am

    Hi , God is by nature faithful , i want you to add it to the list of conviction you have as a believer .that is he cant fail , It is his nature that is his person, like his name .Also , people often say prayer is the master key but its no master check Moses when he wanted to crossed the red see and many others in the holy bible ,he didnt pray to God .what i want to tell you is the key to your life might just be love practice love around , i might be forgiveness , it might be charity , it might be service in the kingdom or the awakening your son-ship identity (who God has called you in Christ:favored ,justify,righteous you can name the rest) by identifying with Christ.i encourage you to stay faithful and apply Matthew 6:33 and prove God to be a liar .

  59. babygiwa

    May 24, 2016 at 12:25 pm

    Dear Poster, please hold on to God. Never ever stop believing him. Ps, serving God and trusting him is not a chore, make it fun for yourself. Do things you like, praise him more, thank Him more. Take things slowly, don’t look at the pace of others, God’s time is truly the best.
    I’ll say a prayer for you this evening.

  60. Busola I

    May 24, 2016 at 12:25 pm

    Wow. ODM for today. Lemme just quote a bit. It spoke to me and maybe you too.
    The two most powerful warriors are patience and time. God has perfect timing never late; never early.
    There is no elevator to success; you have to take the stairs
    Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass. It’s about learning to dance in the rain.

    Psalm 40: ‘I will wait PATIENTLY for the Lord’
    some people wait HURRIEDLY for the Lord. Others wait GRUDGINGLY for the Lord. few wait while PITYING THEMSELVES but life is about appreciating what you have and waiting patiently for what you will get. God bless you

  61. zeedoctre

    May 24, 2016 at 12:41 pm

    hello dear, I have been here and prolly still am in your situation although I am way older but other things are the same. but the honest truth is that I encourage myself in the lord. most of the unhappiness and frustration comes from you comparing yourself with others and you start to feel left out. I also try to look for something to be grateful for no matter how irrelevant, I help people a lot and pray for people in need as well. please just know that there is a God that sticks closer than a brother and he has heard you and he knows what he is doing even though you may not see or feel it now. do not be frustrated or unhappy ,surround yourself with people that encourage you and bring positive energy and vibes your way. be happy for those that have progressed especially your friends someone once told me that when God starts blessing those around you, you know he is in your neighbourhood so praise him in the hall way. your testimony is nearer than you think. it also gets darkest before its bright. I am doing these things and I don’t feel so sad,angry or unhappy .I just feel grateful for the little things like being alive, healthy and being able to help people and also for a family that supports you. trust God, all will be well…In Jesus name. God bless..xxx

  62. Olofofo

    May 24, 2016 at 1:12 pm

    From most comments I have read, it seems as though most people think they can only receive God’s blessings in their lives based on their right living. We are no longer living in those old days where u have to keep all the laws to be declared righteous. After the death of Jesus Christ, righteousness was given to us as a gift, not based on your works or even your right or wrong doing. We are the righteousness of God in Christ! We only receive his blessings in our lives by grace and not by our works. Would have created bible verses to prove my point but I think this comment should be clear enough. STOP THINKING YOU CAN ONLY RECEIVE GOD’s GRACE BY BEING HOLY OR RIGHTEOUS! IT COMES BY GRACE REGARDLESS OF OUR RIGHT OR WRONG DOING. ITS A GIFT! YOU DONT HAVE TO WORK TO RECEIVE A GIFT!

  63. Olofofo

    May 24, 2016 at 1:14 pm

    GOD’s BLESSING BY BEING HOLY*

  64. I love my husband

    May 24, 2016 at 1:19 pm

    Hey dearie, a lot of people have spoken well. Let me just add that, the fact that you have been alive for 21 years is enough to let you know that God has a plan for your life. Do you know how many people go out on a daily basis and don’t come back home due to accidents, kidnap etc. I think you should switch complaining and focusing on what is not happening in your life and start thanking God for the seemingly little things(you think) he has done. If im correct you eat everyday and the food goes down your stomach, digests and you pass out waste, do you know how many people are lying on hospital beds with pipes to make them poop, you wake up every morning and all your body parts are functioning,….i can go on and on. It is only in your Praise that you can get your Raise. So you had better start praising God. Im not going to pity you or sweet talk you cos at 21 you have a lot of good going for you, when I was 21, I was not a graduate….so my dear God has a lot in store for you else he doesn’t take him a minute to shut off your breadth and that ends your life. BE GRATEFUL! Again, when we praise him, he raises us.

  65. NC

    May 24, 2016 at 1:22 pm

    At 32 although I have had some areas of my life blossom beautifully, I can say there are days that I feel this way too. I have a particular area of my life I have prayed and fasted for 11yrs to change and I have seen nothing so far. I am in the midst of family issues that have only gotten worse (step-mother that does juju and has destroyed my family and is proud of it). I do not know what tomorrow holds. Everyone says God will show up. I am still waiting. I get tired and tired and weary on most days that I think God sees my suffering and hasn’t moved yet. God needs to move in these two particular areas of my life. Pray for me.

  66. Evi

    May 24, 2016 at 2:01 pm

    Hi dear, sorry that you feel this way. The bible says we walk by faith and not by sight. Take your eyes off your circumstances and focus on God. Take an inventory of your life, there is a lot for you to be thankful for. I didn’t hear you say you are terminally sick in the hospital, or you lost both your parents to cancer or something horrible like that. You are a graduate, you are healthy, you are alive, you have a roof over your head, you have food to eat and clothes to wear. Start rejoicing over those things and so much more God has given you, when you do, He will bless you with more. If you are not grateful for what you have now, how then will you appreciate it when He blesses you with more things? You will never be satisfied. God wants us to live a life of gratitude, it opens up doors to amazing things. In Philippians 4, Paul said I’ve learnt to be satisfied with any situation I find myself in, whether it’s with a full stomach or its with an empty stomach, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. So wherever God has you right now be grateful, be thankful. I know it’s difficult when it seems like everyone is getting blessed but you, but God has you in the position you are in for a reason. Jesus went through all of this and the bible said because of the joy set before Him, He endured the cross. God loves you, He has a plan for your life that are great plans and they are not based on all the things you listed that you do or don’t do, God doesn’t bless us because of those things. He blesses us because of the love He has for us. Seek Him, not just through prayer, open up your bible, read it, listen to messages from great men and women of God (on YouTube, Joyce Meyer, Christine Caine, Steven Furtick) if you have access to Internet, if not the bible is enough. Stay faithful, stay committed to your church, serve, help others and don’t focus on just yourself. You will discover that people are going through worse things than you. Then you will be grateful to God for where He has you right now. God is right where you are, you just need to reprogram your mind, and pray and praise that spirit of depression away. Isaiah 61 is a good verse. Stand on God’s promises. And watch things change. Hope this helps.

  67. The real Ama Ghana

    May 24, 2016 at 3:45 pm

    Try listening to Joyce Meyer!!!

  68. forget

    May 24, 2016 at 3:48 pm

    Forget all the people trying to preach to you, you need some knocks into reality

    A 21 year old, a graduate spewing thrash like this?

    Its either you are an ingrate, you are too greedy, you are not contented, you use people as your yardstick of success, or you are depressed.

    Gerrahia jo

  69. living testimony that God listen

    May 24, 2016 at 4:16 pm

    i would advise you count your blessings and forget all the things you want God to do, thank him for all HE has done for you like making you to be a univerisity graduate at 21. When you give thanks you receive more, one advise i will tell you is to stop asking whenever you pray rather thank Him for what he has done and what He has not done, thank Him for what you are believing him to do for you because ive come to realize that God works through faith, if you have faith that He has done it, best believe he has done it, even when you cant see any evidence, believe God listens and does things in His own time. stop asking and start thanking more for the things He has done and the things He has not done and watch God do His wonders in his own time

  70. Ebony

    May 24, 2016 at 4:50 pm

    Lol. You’re funny. Like you have humour.
    I relate though.
    Darling getting a University certificate isn’t stagnation. You’re 21!
    You have your whole life ahead of you. There will be ups and downs along the line. Don’t start feeling this way now.
    Don’t give up on God. He won’t give up on you.
    What exactly will you want differently at this point that you feel the lack of it is making you unhappy?
    You said it’s not riches, so you should be able to point out what exactly it is.
    Is that really what’s making you unhappy? Is it as a result of comparing yourself with others?
    ust search and prayerfully tailor a game plan.
    There are trials and tests in life. Don’t give up

  71. Petyr

    May 24, 2016 at 8:30 pm

    Obey God because your spirit wills u to.
    Strive to be holy as He is holy because you fear him not because of rewards. When will y’all learn that all is vanity. Would u rather vanity or riches in heaven. Stop overcompensating cos u will get tired or worse still – bored. Also erase the feelings of entitlement. I know it’s hard but pls try.

  72. meelikey

    May 24, 2016 at 8:39 pm

    I can assure you that God knows n feels all you are going through, don’t be weary just wait. In the course of waiting please visit the casualty section of the closest hospital to you ,it will give you something to meditate about in your time of waiting.

  73. molarah

    May 24, 2016 at 10:55 pm

    I’m reading this and this scripture is what comes to my mind: the fifteenth verse of the fifteenth chapter of the book of Proverbs:

    “All the days of the afflicted are evil: but he that is of a merry heart hath a continual feast.”

    It may seem indicting, and slightly judgmental, but in my experience this is how life plays out. Everyone, both Christians and non-Christians, has this choice to make in life: to either see the glass as half-empty or half-full, either to live as “the afflicted ones” or to have “a merry heart”. Even the most successful person you could think of has at least one “I wish” that has not been fulfilled. And the person has a choice to make daily: whether to define their lives by their victories or their failings, whether to thank God for their blessings or grumble at Him for their unanswered prayers.

    This is a fact that is true: God is good, and He has good plans for His children. You have a decision to make: to either believe this to be true, or believe the opposite (that God has forgotten about you, that God wants to oppress you or afflict you or make your life miserable, or other thoughts as this). Your claims that God has forgotten He placed you on this earth is evidence that you might have accepted a typical Satanic lie the devil throws out to paralyze God’s children and make them loose sight of their purpose. Don’t buy it: always remind yourself of God’s goodness and faithfulness to His children. The Bible is replete with many verses emphasizing this over and over again – immerse yourself in God’s word and declare its truths on this matter as the fact of your life every day.

    And another thing to note is that God’s goodness to you is not regulated or legislated by your “good works” – you don’t earn spiritual brownie points by doing good things to try to impress God or compel Him to work for you. If you are holding on to Jesus for salvation, God is being merciful to you through that imputed righteousness from faith (see Romans 4 for more on this if it is not clear). So if you are being pouty and getting angry at God for not answering you, be guided by this: no one has earned the moral right to make demands of God, our righteousness is as filthy rags to Him. I point this out because even though you insist you are pure and don’t sin, just like Job in the bible, you might be sinning against God in attitude, not necessarily in action. He remains a merciful Father all the same; if you are realize you are doing this and repent, He is faithful and just to forgive you, and cleanse you from all unrighteousness.

    Also, I’m hearing a lot of “I feel”, “I want to feel God”, etc.. Please to be clear, sometimes there is a rush, or a high, or some sort of exhilaration we get in a spiritual atmosphere, or when we are praying, worshiping or thanking God. Sometimes there isn’t. It’s not an indicator of whether He is hearing you or not. Our walk with God is by faith, not by sight (or sensory stimulation). It can feel frustrating sometimes to pray or try and commune and it feels mechanical: but it’s good to be clear that this does not mean He is ignoring us. See also 1 John 5:14-15 for more information on this.

    The summation of all I’m saying is that you have been given the victory life in Christ; live it out. No one is promised a bed of roses – Jesus Himself said that in this world we will have troubles, but we should be of good cheer, because He has overcome. I don’t know the magnitude of the issues you are facing, but I know that there is nothing beyond God, and no problem too big for Him. You must decide to stop living the victim life: stop defining yourself by your problems, and start defining yourself by what Christ has done for you and what you are in Him (Again, the Bible ‘full ground’ on this matter: time and space will not permit me to detail all the countless verses that address this issue). Even if your problems are related to the typicalities of our Nigerian situation (no money, no job, family troubles, no husband, etc.), all the more reason to throw away that victim toga: ain’t nobody gonna give a good job or enter a good relationship with someone who has a “woe is me” outlook to life. So please chin up, decide from now on you are going to be HAPPY in this life, no matter your circumstances, keep your focus more on thanking your God and less on petitions, stand in the victory Christ has given you, and WIN!

  74. Mz Socially Awkward....

    May 24, 2016 at 11:12 pm

    If anyone was ever in doubt of people’s ability to feel for others, this page would be enough to prove our humanity. And the real treasure is that so many people posting are currently walking through their own dark valleys… But they’re still reaching out to someone else with Hope.

    You have inspired more than just the poster – I pray that God finds each one of you with the Joy you’ve waited for. And that you’ll receive that blessing IN season… My heart is just amazed at so much that’s been shared. xx

  75. O

    May 24, 2016 at 11:14 pm

    I would highly recommend you read this book: “The End of Religion” by Bruxy Cavey. It would give you a whole new perspective on who God is and how our relationship should be with Him. I wish you all the best.

  76. jane

    May 25, 2016 at 6:15 am

    Dear Poster,
    Happiness is a decision. It does not suddenly drop on one. Choose to be happy everyday u wake up no matter the circumstances, knowing u have a great God, who cares for you and is in charge of everything. Not all that glitters is gold, ppl u think have it all n u are envious of, also have their own battles. So dear determine to be happy, always go to God with a thankful heart. A great man of God once said : Thankfulness begets Tankfulnes**.

  77. E.O James

    May 25, 2016 at 8:51 am

    First thing is to define what happiness means to you, because in your write up, you said i do not need to much. If only you could define specifically what happiness means to you then look around, you will definitely see what will bring you happiness. God does not lie. If he said he would always be with you, then he is always with you. I also want you to know that there is a big different of being morally upright and being a christian.

  78. MY LIFY

    May 25, 2016 at 11:56 am

    My dear i’m sure u know this song: “God will make a way, where there seems to be no way. He works in ways, we cannot see. He will make a way for me. He will be my guide, hold me closely to his side. With love and strength for each new day. He will make a way, He will make a way.” Do well to take sing it when you feel this way, while reflecting on the many messages it contains. Thank you and stay blessed!!!!!

  79. larz

    May 25, 2016 at 12:56 pm

    Someone once said that in life, one way to steal your joy is get you so focused and fixated on what is absent in your life, then they can succeed in stealing your joy. Don’t let the devil succeed in stealing your joy. change your you view life and your perspective. you mentioned that at the age of 21, you now have a university certificate. My dear, that is something worth celebrating in your life because trust me, many people are also in despair over lack of that. Also, you seem to be alive and in good health. That you are able to afford internet to post this as well is prbly an indication that you are not on the bottom of the pile, poverty wise (esp by Nigerian or standards).

    You may not have all you need right now but dont you worry about chasing after what you dont have (tomorrow will take care of itself). Instead, spend time appreciating what is in your hands and around you. You have the rest of your life to enjoy them when they do come.

    Chin up and watch this space as great things will surely unravel in your life but you gotta try to maintain a good peaceful state of mind so you can really enjoy it when it arrives.

  80. Onyie

    May 25, 2016 at 4:58 pm

    I saw this yesterday and just had to come back to it.

    I was in your shoes two years ago and thought that God had completely forgotten about me. My friends were getting good jobs and i wondered why mine hadn’t come yet. Got involved in a LOT of church activities, prayed, fasted etc.

    And then one day i took stock of everything i was doing just because i wanted God to hear my cry for help. I asked myself if i would be doing the same things if things were going well and the answer was a resounding No! So i reduced my church activities, fasted only when i felt it was necessary (lent and co.) and started living my life.

    Don’t get me wrong o – i didn’t stop praying but the way and manner in which i prayed changed drastically. I began thanking God for the little things, i went to church because i wanted to, did my legion work because i wanted to NEVER because i wanted something back from God. Needless to say my relationship with him got better, i stopped being angry or disappointed, i even stopped expecting things from him because i knew he had plans for me and when he was ready, things would change for my good.

    Things have changed for my good. Right now i have three job offers and i’m trying to choose the right one for me. This year hasn’t been good – lost my little brother and my dad has been sick but in everything i give him thanks and don’t burden him with asking all the time.

    So just live your life, take a job where you aren’t being paid or the pay is little and grow from there , THANK God more than ask and i promise you, good things will come your way.

  81. Leev

    May 25, 2016 at 11:27 pm

    Sweetie, I can relate. I am 32+. For those saying its depression etc give her a break. Some comments r so easy to make than to be done. we r in naija. Our environment does not help and so do people we see everyday. I read an article of pray pray some weeks ago and I saw myself. I used to be like that. I was even in abusive relationship heading to be married. I prayed so much but he didn’t change…that was in my 20s. I look back, I am living my life and to be honest I feel like this some days,weeks or months. The surprising thing is that people think I have it all but I am a mess behind closed doors. Beauty isn’t everything. What has gotten me through my single life is self therapy…loving myself, going to the spa,movies, listening to music and even long walks. Just be thankful for even what you don’t have. God is watching and he knows how you feel. Remember manna doesn’t fall from the sky as some churches fill in our heads these days. Look around and appreciate the little things. You have a beautiful life ahead of you. It may not be rosy all the time but trials build us for the best.
    I Was once your age and life was not easycoming from a broken home, things didn’t add up. You would be amazed as years go by things will fall into place. There are things I wanted so bad I cried and grumbled for that are just around staring back at me. As far as pray pray pls be easy. God is not under pressure. He knows what you need and will give you at the right time okay? Hugs

  82. Franca

    May 27, 2016 at 9:38 am

    First of all accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Saviour if you haven’t and if you have, please have faith and believe whenever you pray to God. Doubt, faithlessness and unbelief hinders prayers, always see the picture of what u want in life and how you want tour life to look like. Keep believing God even after praying and nothing good happens, keep confessing faith filled words and always study and meditate in d word of God and pray in faith about what d word of God says concerning u. Read d book of Mark 11v23-24, Romans 8v28. God bless you.

  83. lovette

    May 28, 2016 at 10:15 am

    i read dis with tears pouring my eyes bcos i feel d same way too only my story is different i am single&trusting GOD i hv been hurt many times,disappointed,loving some1dat is in luv with anoda person,scammed all bcos of love worst of all is dat ur family sees nothing gud abt u thinks.u are a failure/waste.I hv handiwork&i work also so dat i dnt rely on any man 4anytin bt deep inside am hurting really bad bt i jst hv to thnk GOD bcos he holds my future not man. Its only d living dat can say am single not d dead i almost dropped out of skool twice bt GOD intervened maybe i wld hv bn a tomato seller/married out to an old man by now i dnt know bt i thnk GOD bcos he who kept me in d womb 4 9months without harm is still on d throne.Pls dnt give up he loves u more than u know&he has gud plans 4u

  84. Moyo

    May 31, 2016 at 11:25 am

    Please first thank God for what you have now. We all go through moments like this where it seems that nothing is moving forward for us and all other people are doing better than we are. I wouldn’t say you need to pray more but you need to listen to the Holy spirit speaking to you. Spend more time listening to that small still voice that will direct you to the right place. When I lost my Mum last year I felt betrayed, I felt all my covering was gone but the big lesson I learnt was that I had shifted my focus from God, I need to get back to being one with my God and everything will fall into place. Your (my) life will have more direction and peace. Do you forgive easily. Please forgive anyone that has hurt you. Spend time meditating, read your Bible like you want learn something new not as a chore. God hears us, but He will not help until we make a move, what is that next move you need to make. Take a step of faith believe that God will back you, things will begin to change for you. I join my faith with yours and pray that you will receive your breakthrough in Jesus name. Amen. Keep the faith. God bless you.

  85. Andres Duran

    September 5, 2016 at 8:12 am

    Hello. Just to be completely honest I stumbled on your page by accident. I have this knack where I ask God in Heaven for answers by asking Google. Childish I know but quite effective. I didn’t read any replies but could only imagine their replies. Just be good and patient. Bunch of blah blah blah if you ask me. But to answer your question just be yourself. We are all sinners in the eyes of God. So why be so perfec?. That was Jesus’ purpose way back when. And to describe myself I’m quite sinful. I drink, smoke weed, I slander, curse, steal…I mean I could go on and on but would rather do so in person. I have received God’s blessing in every degree because he requires mercy not sacrifice. Just be you because you are perfect as good made you. Don’t be sad be happy. I hope I was able to help you in any way. Take care.

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