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BN Single Parent Pod: Love Went Sour & Left Her with a Baby Girl… All Before She Turned 30

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dreamstime_l_33492694Earlier in the year, we made a call for BellaNaijarians to send in their stories about single parenting and their experiences. {Click here if you missed it} We kicked off the series with Shola’s really touching story. We were super glad one of our readers reached out to us to provide some succour to Shola.

It is with the view of knowing that we’re helping people that we’re pleased to share Anita**’s story today. Anita is a 30 year old woman whose baby is 2 years old. She recently lost her mum and is currently unemployed.

We are very empathetic to Anita’s story and we do hope that more people will share their stories. There is strength in positive numbers and it is really uplifting to know there’s someone out there who gets what you’re going through. 

***

Finding Out I Was Pregnant
I didn’t know I was pregnant for 5 months (I had no symptoms of pregnancy-no sickness, swollen legs, tummy wasn’t big, although my period wasn’t coming but I thought it was due to depression. It had happened before; my period ceased, so I didn’t see it as a big deal or go to the clinic).

It took a girl on the street who I regularly bought things from, that told me I was pregnant. So I rushed to the hospital that day and it was confirmed.

My world came crashing. However, in the heat of the moment, I still felt an overwhelming peace which I could not explain. Outside, I was visibly shaken. I told the lab scientist to run the test again. He looked at me angrily and said ‘that is your result’.
Yeah, he must have suspected that I was pregnant outside wedlock and was almost saying “did I ask you to go and get pregnant?”

Out of the blues, my father just called while I was in the hospital asking if everything was ok and saying he would probably send me some money. You see, he has been the one supporting me since I graduated 6 years ago without a job. At the time, my mom was in the South West, while I was in the North. I had moved up North in the hope of getting a job and decided to stay. My dad had also been transferred there but I don’t live with him.

Becoming A Single Parent
There was this guy I was deeply in love with. It appeared the feeling was mutual. He always promised heaven and earth to marry me. Then, we had some issues which separated us for a while. We were both in different states in Nigeria. After breaking up with me, he still continued to call and said his heart never left me. Not knowing he already proposed to someone else. It happened that the girl was the same person he had lied about being his friend’s younger sister.

I got pregnant when I travelled to his state (in the North) to look for job after NYSC. Not knowing that he already impregnated the other girl a month before I came.

By the time I got to know, he confessed that the other girl who he had married by then, was also pregnant.
At first, he took responsibility in the first year. But as soon as I noticed he still wanted to be close to me despite having a wife at home, and probably sleep with me, I told him to stay out of my life.

He got angry and never picked my calls again. He also stopped taking responsibility for the child. My mom was my support all through this time even though she was bedridden. She sent me foodstuff and money from home every time. I still could not get a job. But I went back to school for my Masters with my 3 month old baby. It was tough as I could not even meet up with the school fees on time. Thankfully, he had given me some of the money for my fees before he left my life.

She told me not to worry, that she would always send me money whenever she had but I lost her 7 months ago. She left without a goodbye.

Difficult Parts of Sole Parenting
Hmm, the most difficult parts of parenting. I had to do practically everything on my own after giving birth. No omugwo as my mom was bedridden. My sister, a novice like me came to stay for one month and left. The bathing, hot water presses, I did on my own. I had to Google most things from Babycenter or sometimes, just common sense with prayer. Then, I read Everywoman while pregnant.

I live with the guilt of having my child grow up without her father. This guilt kills me everyday. Then, I regret engaging in pre-marital sex. I was naive. He was my first. I got pregnant at 27, had her at 28. I had kept myself until I met this guy.

She clocked 2 years on the 2nd of June and I couldn’t afford even a birthday cake or new clothes for her. I haven’t bought new clothes for her since her 1st birthday. My dad pays her creche fees and sends me stipends to live on. It is always inadequate but I am grateful to God for even the little he is doing.

Exciting Moments of Being a Single Parent
When she took her first steps. I was wowed. She had walked at 1 year, 3months. Then, the first time she stood up, I was so excited. We were always together until she started creche after she walked. I came home and cried because I missed her. We are so used to each other now. Whenever I feel sad, I just have to look at her face or quickly pick her from school. She lights up my world. She follows me everywhere from toilet, to kitchen, to bedroom.

I am most happy when I can buy things for her which makes her excited.

My Daughter’s Relationship with Her Dad
When her dad used to visit, he used to play with her and then leave after some hours. Sometimes we both went to pick her from school. But now, there’s no relationship with her father or his family. When she’s old enough to speak on phone, it will get better.

Conflicts & Resolutions
There have been serious conflicts as regards co-parenting. After I told him to leave me alone because I am not prepared to be a second wife or mistress to him. He was upset and went to report to my father, saying I told him to go and that means he can’t be responsible for the child again. He has accused me of keeping the child from him. It was a big issue in my family. All my younger ones who called him, he poisoned their hearts against me. If not that blood is thicker than water, he would have successfully turned my family against me. The extent of damage was that deep. I have forgiven him and moved on.

I haven’t made any attempt to ask him to come and see his child because I reckoned that when he is ready, he will be the one to tell me. Besides, I don’t want to make the same mistake twice.

No New Relationships
I haven’t tried to date nor had a relationship since I had her. A guy indicated interest in marrying me but with the condition that my child doesn’t live with us. I declined graciously. I can’t leave my child because of any man. I already suffer through the guilt of having her grow up without her father so, me putting her away again for whatever reason isn’t what I can do. I am all she has and I intend to be there for her.

When Things Got Tough… Here’s How I Got Help
I wake up most days with nothing. There was a time she had cough and I couldn’t afford even a 200 Naira over the counter cough syrup. I had to wait till my dad sent money.

I am only getting by through the grace of God. I live one day at a time. So many times we won’t have food to eat. Instead of beverage when she wakes up at night, I give her water. I have no friends and no one knows what I’m going through.

I still haven’t gotten a job and life became difficult after the death of my mom. I got a job in January that offered to pay 20k (with my Masters). I took it just to avoid staying at home and stop thinking about my late mom. I had to stop after one month when I could not afford the transport fare again.

I got another sales job in February which offered 30k. But it was challenging to get transport fare to go to work. I kept on borrowing money to pay fare. Then, on a particular day when I had nowhere to borrow again, I didn’t go and I was sacked.

Since then, I haven’t gotten any job. I went for an interview in April but was told the job involved a lot of travelling and working late. I told them I had a child and there was no one to support me. She goes to creche and I must pick her up by 5pm. So, it’s been challenging getting a job that will give me time to pick my child in the evening and also pay me well to take good care of her.

I love my child so much but it hurts me that I can’t provide for her. I am a very good writer. But writing isn’t paying my bills. I have tried to look for online writing jobs that will pay my bills but I haven’t been successful yet.

Hope in the Horizon
If you are also in this situation, be optimistic. It will get better. This is what keeps me going. I have also read inspiring stories of single ladies that made it after everything. Don’t give up.

**Not her real name

Photo Credit: Dreamstime

74 Comments

  1. jane

    June 23, 2016 at 6:14 pm

    very touching story. how can we reach you?

  2. Osa

    June 23, 2016 at 6:16 pm

    Have you considered writing your story? Maybe the story may be centered around single motherhood or even consequences of pre-marital sex? But there is wealth in your story. It is sad to hear what you are going through but as a writer, you can write on anything including your life. Make some money from your experience. Who knows, you may end up on the path of motivational speaking on resilience, avoiding same mistakes twice (cause you did) or even teaching young girls on purity based on the lessons you have learned from life. May God open your eyes to see my dear. It shall end well for you.

    • Surely

      June 24, 2016 at 8:20 pm

      This isn’t a consequence of premarital sex unfortunately. MANY women go through this after marriage. MANY.
      This is a consequence of no-good fathers (not hers but the baby’s father) and poorly equipped women who are being failed daily by their society and government. If she had great income, do you think 80% of her sad story would be here on BN?

      Whoever wrote this, I am sincerely sorry on your behalf but you must stop feeling sorry for yourself. A lot of your reasons for why many things haven’t worked out (virginity, relationship, unfortunate passing of parent, little help from dad, loss of your job, etc) show that you’re not yet fully in control of your person. These things happen and they aren’t your fault but how you view and take control of your future will help you and your precious daughter. Single parenting is hard, I have seen it around me firsthand but you can overcome. Seems your daughter is your motivation, think of the things you want for her, yourself and maybe that could motivate you.

      Thanks for sharing your story and I wish you the best. It is still possible for you to rise completely above all this.

  3. Fashionista

    June 23, 2016 at 6:17 pm

    Dear, writer, I can’t imagine how difficult things must be. I pray you find a job really soon, maybe even relocate to another state with better prospects? Earning a salary will be the first and one of the biggest steps in alleviating your struggle. Sorry your heart was broken, I pray Gods healing upon you. Please stop feeling guilty about having premarital sex, ask God for forgiveness with a genuine heart, receive the forgiveness and please forgive yourself – a lot of us struggle with this aspect. I pray things get better really soon. Your daughter is a cutie. E hugs!

  4. Randommer

    June 23, 2016 at 6:24 pm

    I would like to help. How can we get in touch. I went reading this.

    Also what did you study in school and where do you stay ?

  5. J

    June 23, 2016 at 6:24 pm

    This is a truly heartbreaking story. Nigeria should have a child support system in place, period. Even if the man doesn’t want to be bothered with seeing the child HE SHOULD STILL PAY! She did not have this child by herself and should not be made to pay for the child by herself. Good luck. May God open an amazing job opportunity for you soon.

    • Emeka

      June 23, 2016 at 9:49 pm

      Why can’t she send the daughter to her father ,if she can’t take care of her

    • eesha

      June 23, 2016 at 10:46 pm

      @ emeka, you are exactly what is wrong with this society, send her to her father, and be abused by his wife or even neglected by her father too. She didn’t say she can’t take care of her, things are just tough for now. It will get better dear and i pray God brings a generous and kind hearted person your way..

    • ATL's finest

      June 25, 2016 at 2:24 am

      @ Eesha your first like got me cracked up. @ Emeka what sort of a mother who’s suffering & going thru it because of her child why will she do that?
      Dear writer, I wish honestly pray everything works out well for U. Forgive yourself & don’t beat yourself up for your mistake. Life has its ups & downs but U’ll prevail & pull through. My hearts goes out to your daryln & E-hugs to your daughter.

  6. Rose

    June 23, 2016 at 6:25 pm

    What can I say….NAWA….men sha…but why deceive an innocent girl….Kai….I can relate to your story….diff is that I still haven’t had sexual intercourse…BaBa God please with my naivety… Give me the grace to wait until I am married… No matter how the love sweet me… My dear…take heart…God knows your Heart…and he’s got you…bellanaija how can people outside the country donate…abi monetary gift is not acceptable??….

    • Surely

      June 24, 2016 at 8:23 pm

      A horrible man will still leave after marriage. If a man is good, he will still love you, premarital sex or not. Would you stop loving a wonderful guy because you slept with him? No. Probably love him more.

      I’m not encouraging premarital sex BUT LET’S GET OUR THOUGHTS STRAIGHT. Her demise was not caused by premarital sex!!!

  7. le coco

    June 23, 2016 at 6:26 pm

    God be with you and your child . It definitely will get better… It always does … and you dd the right thing by rejecting tht man’s advances… He wants to use u and get into ur head.

  8. Ada

    June 23, 2016 at 6:33 pm

    I can relate to her story as a single mother myself. We make mistakes but it’s how we handle the situation that matters. I’m glad that you went back to school for your masters degree. My advise to you is to accept jobs that come your way and build your cv, I’ve had a job in the past where I had to borrow transport money to and from work,it is not easy I must admit,but you need to build a future for yourself . Look for a close friend who you can leave your son with when you have to make official trips.
    My current job also entails constant travelling but I have a support system with people I am comfortable leaving him with when I travel. It is not an easy journey but God’s grace is sufficient.

  9. A

    June 23, 2016 at 6:38 pm

    I feel so sad reading this. Please how can we reach you? I know how raising a toddler and working can be without support. It is next to impossible. Leaving early before school closes, sick days etc… It is well. May God send you help, and may he lead you. Is there any business venture that interests you? Owning your time while earning an income will work best with a toddler. Sending hugs, more hugs and prayers your way.

  10. Adaeze Writes

    June 23, 2016 at 6:43 pm

    Your story is so touching but I was angry with that new guy that said that he won’t have your daughter live with you guys once you get married. That’s so selfish! Haba! She’s an adorable innocent girl, why can’t people be mature?
    Don’t worry dear, there’s a light at the end of every tunnel, and there are good writing jobs that pay quite well if you have the skills and some don’t even need you to do full-time but part time and they pay for higher than 30k. I think you should relocate from the north (my opinion) if you have some place to stay in Lagos, you can move up here, do a bit of networking and get something started,

    For thrilling stories, visit. adaezewrites.com

  11. Ally

    June 23, 2016 at 6:56 pm

    Dear writer,
    Your story has touched my heart. Can we please have a means to contact you, if we want to help? If you’re not comfortable with that, here is my email address, please contact me in private. [email protected]

    • ATL's finest

      June 25, 2016 at 2:29 am

    • ATL's finest

      June 25, 2016 at 2:30 am

      I found that in the comment box where it was posted by “Author”.

  12. Bey

    June 23, 2016 at 6:57 pm

    Such a sad story.
    My heart breaks for you. I hope you find a job soon.
    You also need to find a way to reach out somehow to ur child’s father, not in a confrontational way. You can’t carry this burden by urself. You can’t also be made to committ sin and be sleeping with a married man just for help to shoulder his responsibilities.
    If you are close to any of his family members, get them involved.
    I hope you get a job soonest.
    Stay strong.

  13. tunmi

    June 23, 2016 at 7:01 pm

    1. You had unsafe sex, and got a big deal. That’s it. Pre-marital or no premarital, that’s what happened. Now please try to move on from that. We cannot change what has already happened. So try to forgive yourself. The baby, that you choose to keep, was born out of love (at the time).

    2. Madam, you have to pick yourself up. You are still depending on your parents. Your mum passed, and your dad is helping out. Worst case scenario, what if he passes. Apparently the relationship between you and your siblings isn’t that good for them to believe someone else over you. Please focus here. You have someone else you are responsible for. Remember that you chose that responsibility. Please do right by her. What is your profession? Where is your contact info? BN is a great resource to not only get your story out but to get support. Please make use of it. Do you have a gofundme account? Does that work in Nigeria? You have internet access, so participate in some giveaways on Linda Ikeji’s blog or Stelladimokokorkus’s blog. You need to become self-sufficient and stop the pity party.

    3. You also need to honestly look at your living expenses and income. Is there anyway you can cut anything out. I’m being this blunt because your father may pass and that could leave you in a serious financial hole. Babies are huge responsibilities, physically, emotionally, and financially. I understand that you were caught unawares but you’re in the situation now so you really need to step up.

    • Onyi

      June 23, 2016 at 7:37 pm

      @ Tunmi, You are actually stupid.
      @BN, how can I reach the writer? would love to help out.

    • Bisi

      June 23, 2016 at 8:27 pm

      She’s very stupid…

      I too would love to help!

    • Mee

      June 23, 2016 at 8:30 pm

      @tunmi no what she meant to say was you are beyond stupid!!!! I pity the people that call you a friend! Idiot

    • Naijatalk

      June 23, 2016 at 8:39 pm

      Wow, I cannot believe anyone would read the comment by @Tunmi and conclude that the author is stupid. Please the handouts she is receiving can only take her so far. She needs a dose of reality so she can do better. Dear Poster, imagine yourself in a world without daddy’s support. What would you do? Start thinking along those lines. You need to become financially independent.

    • Babym

      June 23, 2016 at 8:43 pm

      Tummi wtf is wrong with u?? What r u gaining from being so mean?? U think u r being blunt but u r just being very stupid indeed. Mscheewww very very foolish comment! Rubbish.

    • Shola

      June 23, 2016 at 11:15 pm

      @Tunmi I sigh. Compassion goes a long way in life. Our Nigerian women are suffering because of that ‘just get on with it mentality’ where you don’t allow them to feel or connect with their reality. I pray you start to reflect and show more compassion to those near you.

    • May

      June 23, 2016 at 11:26 pm

      Yes we had pre-marital sex but sometimes we single mothers don’t deliberately do it or happy to find ourselves in this kind of situations. The deed is done we have to move on. I commend you for not allowing the father of your child take advantage of the situation. Letting him go is the best decision. You won’t regret not accepting the marriage proposal with such condition either. Whatever man that loves you and want you will want you and your child under his roof even when you say otherwise.

      You have to forgive yourself. This write up shows you are a very good writer and like Osa said, your story is inspiring. Sometimes out worst nightmares can be a key to unlock our blessings and also inspire others. I hope one day to tell my story too. I hope in the future to let young single mothers know that even with child one can still be great and raise the child to be great with/without the father. Encourage single young mother to go back to school and provide help to those who need help to watch the kids while they are at work or at school. You were already a graduate when you had yours; I had mine first year in college. So trust me it was hard but, I did it with the support of my parent and siblings. Got my degree and earning enough now. With or without a man we can be successful.
      I would love to help too. Please provide an email.

    • May

      June 23, 2016 at 11:28 pm

      Really???? Did read where she said she got a job but was difficult to find one where she can pick her child up on time? So she shouldn’t get help at all? And who else would she depend on if not for her parents till she finds a job that will let her pick her child in time? It’s a crime she made her daughter a priority abi? And @Naijatalk How can one be financially independent when one doesn’t have an income? Why think this way? She went back to school to better herself, is not that she’s just there not doing anything. She’s trying.

    • Hawtspot

      June 24, 2016 at 1:07 am

      No, Tunmi is not stupid guys; don’t be too harsh on her. Yes, she is blunt, appears a bit canny and unemotional but she has just said the hard truth. Her dad won’t be there for ever and she needs to take some strategic decisions. Having said that I want to join the list of those that can help…but most of us will only help once and move on and this is why the young lady needs to take a leap of faith.

  14. lola

    June 23, 2016 at 7:18 pm

    I admire your courage and your optimism. It is going to get better. How can we reach you?

  15. Weezy

    June 23, 2016 at 7:26 pm

    Please leave your email address so people can contact you. We want to help.

  16. Chief (chief Titus)

    June 23, 2016 at 7:32 pm

    @Rose, what do you mean by men sha? Why are Nigerian women so gullible? you have already labelled him a wicked man..First off,I’ m not buying this story.This story is one sided..You must have done something awful to him,every man want his child/Children in his life.You chased him away with your typical Nigerian women attitude,i feel for the innocent child.Nigerian women should stop pulling all this sympathy game.

  17. Thatgidigirl

    June 23, 2016 at 7:46 pm

    Hi poster, I’m so sorry to hear about your situation. However, we need to move from focusing on what we don’t have to what we have. What you have is your father, and siblings that can help you more if you let them. Firstly, it sounds like you live alone which means you’re paying rent? Pls move in with your dad if he would let you, that may also be an opportunity to mend fences with your sinlings who may be more than willing to help baby sit their neice….translates to more time for you. You need to look beyond getting a conventional office job, what do you know how to do? Can you learn a new skill that would fetch money for you regularly? You can’t afford to be without friends in your situation, it’s a recipe for depression. If you can say what you would like to do going forward and drop your contact I would love to help. It’s not enough to give you money which would go back into taking care of your baby, you need to be a provider for her. Waiting to hear from you…..stay strong!

  18. Adeola funke

    June 23, 2016 at 7:59 pm

    God will continue to strengthen you…. i have a silly question, pls dont judge, just provide answer…. i just got married and i want baby so bad, is this normal? Like i want to experience motherhood so bad… does this happen to newly wedded brides. Thanks

  19. E

    June 23, 2016 at 7:59 pm

    I like to send clothes to the baby, how can I help?

  20. Snow White

    June 23, 2016 at 8:07 pm

    Hi, I love that you are staying optimistic throughout. It WILL be well with you in every aspect. In your family, in your finances, in your health, in every aspect of your life, in Jesus’ name. I do suggest you try talking to someone, and I pray that God will send people of pure heart to you. Take heart my dear

  21. Kayla

    June 23, 2016 at 8:17 pm

    @chief Titus u re a donkey for saying this rubbish. Please BN how do we assist. I am sure there is a way we can make some contributions.

    • Mara

      June 23, 2016 at 8:38 pm

      A real donkey o! With fleas sef. What an appalling comment. Yes BN, I would like to help as well.

  22. Californiabawlar

    June 23, 2016 at 9:17 pm

    Firstly I have to say this is the first AuntyBella’ish article that I’ll read and I’ll actually be impressed by the person because she’s not playing the victim. All this woman needs is a job not a pity party. If I could I’ll hire her. She has shown that she can make great choices and withstand adversity. She went back to school having only a three month baby and took low paying jobs with a masters degree. To make it better she’s a good writer. Good writing skills are always a great addition for any career.
    From the moral angle. She threw her baby daddy out despite the risk of losing financial and emotional support from him. Refused a man making her choose. I’m not saying she’s perfect but she sure comes across as sound-minded to me.
    My sister, God will reward your faithfulness and your testimony no go be for here. Funny thing is that I don’t feel bad for you. Girl, you’re about to have a breakthrough and I’m excited for you in my spirit!
    My fellow bellanaijarians, we all sabi say know say na una tush pass…biko help this sister jump start her career! Let the Lord use you. More blessing.

  23. Hotchick

    June 23, 2016 at 9:20 pm

    BN, please how do we contact her? Thanks

    • ATL's finest

      June 25, 2016 at 2:27 am

      @ Hot chick [email protected]

    • ATL's finest

      June 25, 2016 at 2:30 am

      I found where that was posted on a comment box.

  24. Emeka

    June 23, 2016 at 9:48 pm

    I have a feeling this is not the exact story, something is being left out… I would love to hear MAN side of the story

    • Yeyeperry

      June 24, 2016 at 8:33 am

      What has the man got to do with this?

  25. molarah

    June 23, 2016 at 9:51 pm

    Lagos state, I believe, recently passed a bill(?) mandating parents to pay for child support. I hope I’m remembering correctly, but anyone in Lagos facing this kind of predicament should try to explore the legal options.

  26. Puzzles

    June 23, 2016 at 9:57 pm

    BN, people have been asking how they can assist? Will you not respond?

    God will bless you all for being your sister’s keeper.

  27. semesee

    June 23, 2016 at 9:59 pm

    BN. ..PLEASE. How can I help this woman! Please contact me BN! Thanks

  28. Sisi

    June 23, 2016 at 10:18 pm

    This is very unfortunate. I pray your breakthrough comes speedily, with your hope I believe that’s all you need to get your life and that of your daughter on track. You have to focus on building a brighter future for yourself and your daughter, from liability to asset. God bless your parents. Please Bella how can we help.

  29. Niola

    June 23, 2016 at 10:25 pm

    Send us your cv and please let us know how we can help and contact you.This is so touching .God help your daughter!

  30. Cece

    June 23, 2016 at 10:35 pm

    I hope this story is not based on fiction. I say this because no contact details have been provided for the sake of those who wish to help. I would therefore not advice anyone to post their email along with their comment, to avoid being pranked or defrauded by an opportunist. Wait to hear from B.N first.

  31. PD Young Billionaire

    June 23, 2016 at 10:45 pm

    Sorry dear.Most men are generally selfish.I hope your child’s step mother knows about her so that her husband can take care of his child.You need to ensure that is in place.Things may be tough right now,but try to be strong and prayerful.It shall soon pass.God bless you and your little one.

  32. Chief (chief Titus)

    June 23, 2016 at 11:04 pm

    @Kaylah,you called me a donkey?, didn’t they teach you to respect your elders?Don’t you have chiefs in your village? you see the reason why i said that Nigerian women are so disrespectful.Show some respect to me as a man.

  33. Jalord

    June 24, 2016 at 12:00 am

    I know there are similar stories like this out there but I think this one is a write up by BN team haha.
    Anyway, people have shown their concern on here and the best BN can do is help provide details as people are willing to assist in any way. Or else, this is just another article indirectly putting men down

    • Atoke

      June 24, 2016 at 1:03 am

      Lol The story is not made up. We’re trying to determine how to work around the strict request for anonymity by Anita***

      Don’t worry, we’re collating the details (if you left your real email address when you commented) of the people who want to help and we’d get in touch with them.

      This isn’t fiction. (Lol as far as I know sha…)

      Thanks very much for your concern and your responses.
      A.

  34. Osaretin

    June 24, 2016 at 12:00 am

    So touching. i pray God gives you strength to take care of your child.

  35. Wright

    June 24, 2016 at 1:02 am

    If it was a man saying this. No job…stuck with a child! No help from parents and stuff…..would you all still offer to help like this? May God be with you woman……may God be with you

  36. Madman

    June 24, 2016 at 1:33 am

    Visit awpnetwork.com; they have some opportunities you might be interested in and qualify for.

  37. Tomilola

    June 24, 2016 at 5:54 am

    Hello BN,

    Please is there a way we can reach this lady?

    Also, can you confirm what she studied in uni and had her Masters in. I’d like to see if I can get her a job that pays better.

    Thank yo.

  38. Olusola

    June 24, 2016 at 7:21 am

    I’ll like to help in my own little way. BN pls do the needful

  39. Mina Martins

    June 24, 2016 at 7:57 am

    Hello Shola,

    I am a mother too who is raising two kids and being the only one financially responsible for them. I am also able to do this as a writer. Please contact me if you get this at [email protected] I can provide you with more info on how you can make good morning as a writer in Nigeria, or pass you along to someone who will hire you for good pay, benefits, etc.

    Take care of yourself and your little girl.

  40. Ehiwarior

    June 24, 2016 at 8:06 am

    Dear BN,

    I want to help.

  41. Christie

    June 24, 2016 at 8:41 am

    People should learn to be compassionate. You will pull through and God will send you helpers. My mom raised me single parent with the help of friends, well wishers and her stipends which she got from her job.

  42. salo

    June 24, 2016 at 8:58 am

    i have two advice which is move on with your life and be optimistic
    Secondly, allow the father to have an impact in her life in his own little way even if its going to involve court, you can’t just suffer now and one man will show up later. The truth is that he will come back and there’s little you can do about it, mum suffered well but they were both present on d wedding day, let him take responsiblity for his action and let his famiily do too, atleast d pikin no bear ur popsy name.

  43. GraceOfGOD

    June 24, 2016 at 9:22 am

    @Author,

    Good morning DEAR Sister. Your story is TOUCHING. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE STOP CONDEMNING yourself. Yes you made a mistake but Honey who DOESN’t? From your story I was able to LEARN a WHOLE LOT, THANK YOU. I pray GOD guide me to AVOID some MISTAKES. May GOD help you, may HE open DOORS for you. You are a VERY GOOD woman, I believe you are a HARDWORKING person who just needs an OPPORTUNITY to GAIN her life HERSELF with DIGNITY. I want to assist you with a SMALL capital so that you can START a business. I am NOT RICH, NOT AT ALL, not yet, BUT my SPIRIT wants to assist you with a little cash. Please send me your contacts through this address [email protected] . It is an address I have created to REMAIN anonymous. I STRONGLY believe that GOD will BLESS the business you would put that little money into so that it would MULTIPLY. Honey CRY NO MORE, it is OVER by the SPECIAL GRACE of GOD. You shall SMILE again VERY SOON and your story will serve as TESTIMONY and also LESSONS for the YOUNGER ONES. I shall make the transfer in maximal 2 weeks by GOD’s grace as soon as I have your CONTACTS and VERIFY them. Have a GREAT day and stay BLESSED 🙂 🙂 🙂

  44. Exclusive

    June 24, 2016 at 9:25 am

    You said you could write. I might be able to help with that. Please BN, let us know how we can.

    I hope things work out for you. Stay strong.

  45. mrs chidukane

    June 24, 2016 at 9:49 am

    Stay strong. Like someone said, maybe move back in with your father if possible. When you get funds from people maybe learn to bake, these days it’s almost the fastest way to make some money. As you do the baking (if you want to oh), keep at your writing. Don’t allow any man take advantage of you or try to separate you from your child to avoid regrets. You’ll be fine.

  46. Sai sai

    June 24, 2016 at 11:03 am

    No please don’t move back in with your father, because then you would become a liability and loose all his respect even though he is your father..being able to stay alone garners respect from your relatives and besides over familitarily breeds contempt,It is when you move in, your father will start to complain after some months about eating too much, seeing you sitting about, doing nothing might cause him to fume, I could be wrong ..but as a grown up with a child, it can be frustrating to lIve with relatives, plus you would have no privacy too..I could go on and on dearie
    ..you will be fine dearie
    A problem shared is a problem half solved.
    To tell you God is on your side, you had the opportunity to be on bellanaija to share your story, need I say more, Excellent things are coming your way?

  47. Ejiro

    June 24, 2016 at 11:20 am

    God will see yu thru.

  48. slice

    June 24, 2016 at 3:06 pm

    So bn will not answer all the calls for how to help

  49. "changing moniker"

    June 24, 2016 at 7:58 pm

    It is when people have moved on from the story that BN will now remember to act. Smh. ….
    Please contact all those that say they can help and collect their information. Some didn’t write down their email addresses, but since you have all our email addresses biko contact them.

  50. Author

    June 24, 2016 at 9:25 pm

    Dear BN Community, thanks so much for reading my story and for offering to help. To those who would assist one way or the other or in getting an online writing job that pays, pls contact me through [email protected]
    God bless everyone that read through my story. Many thanks to CarlifoniaBawlar, sis, you just summed everything accurately. I really appreciate everyone. May God bless you all real good.

    • slice

      June 25, 2016 at 8:33 pm

      Put account number let people send you alert. Opportunity knocks but once o.

  51. sade

    June 24, 2016 at 9:38 pm

    Hi dear, the part that touched me was when you said you give your daughter water at night when she wakes up. I can imagine how hard that is. Am a single mum also and I understand how difficult it is. My toddler is 2 also. I lost my job this year, but all the same, I will like to send you something little to get your daughter some beverage and food. My love to her dear. @Bellanaija, you have my email address,will appreciate it if you send me her account details. Thank you.

  52. Tonia

    June 28, 2016 at 9:54 am

    I feel you fear fear writer, I am a single parent too and GOD bless you for letting that man go, I pray you find help dear.

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