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Would you take care of your baby while your wife goes away for a year? Watch Nigerian Men Respond on BN TV

BN TV

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Battabox presenter Odunayo asks Nigerian men on the streets of Lagos if they would take care of their baby while the wife goes away for a year and some of their replies were shocking.

“I will not allow her,” says one man, “I would divorce her” replies another.

From this video, it is obvious that women are still made to choose between marriage and their career. What would you do if you were in this situation?

Watch it here:

39 Comments

  1. Wale

    September 6, 2016 at 3:20 pm

    May God help men!…. Didn’t the interviewer just ask ‘your baby’, how much more raising other people’s babies? For me, I will do it since we both agreed she should travel.

  2. tunmi

    September 6, 2016 at 3:28 pm

    Hmm I thought BN TV would be media owned and produced either completely or partially by BN. Not having Battabox in the title is suspect.

    Quick thought: I think the question should shift from whether men should be taking care of their children to how they take care of their kids. I’m curious to hear how men respond to “how would you take care of your baby (when/while) your wife goes away for a year?” the way we frame questions matter a lot. Asking how already implies that they would. Would the men object then?

  3. gia

    September 6, 2016 at 4:18 pm

    Disgusting…

  4. slice

    September 6, 2016 at 4:23 pm

    Some said yes!! Progress.
    Me I’m like forget the baby who will take care of me. #bodynotfirewoodtins 🙂

  5. kim kim

    September 6, 2016 at 4:23 pm

    Indeed disgusting, these things cannot look after their own child?? Really?? so only the woman looks after the children like she made them by herself. I see why this country is having problems meeting up with developed countries.

    • AceOfSpades

      September 6, 2016 at 11:59 pm

      Everything you will compare with developed countries. Shey this topic have anything to do with building good roads or making policies that will affect masses directly and make life better???? A man can’t cook….its why Naija isn’t developed! A man can’t go more than 3 rounds…its also why Naija is not developed! Oga oo

      Shebi it is people like you that were saying Davido shouldn’t travel with a baby that’s very young without the mother! Plenty of you bashed the fellow that the baby is too young to be without the mother. Like what does it take to make you people happy gaaaaaaaaan sef????!

  6. Que

    September 6, 2016 at 4:34 pm

    I am sorry, are we having a laugh here? I am a woman and please that job isn’t that serious as to even think of leaving my 6month old baby behind! THAT JOB didn’t decide to conceive and bring a human being into this world… when u sign up for motherhood please be ready! It is not a sign of independence to drop baby (father or no father) and disappear cos of work…. nah sista! I don’t agree on this one. With freedom comes responsibility, if you can freely decide to have a child pleaasseee save us the headache and act as a responsible mother would, and devote the needed time to that child.

    This is NOT an equality debate issue, a mother will remain primary care giver….father cannot replace you this early, so please stop looking for unnecessary wahala. How do you know a job is once in a life time if you havent gotten to the end of your life… please please please just act right!!! You have a choice, you can go, return and conceive….but be guided abeg! Which kain wahala be this! Abeg fear God!

    • slice

      September 6, 2016 at 4:53 pm

      Sometimes you leave the baby bc of the baby. Dont be so sure it’s a bad decision. If this trip will settle the family for life, it may be worth it. Not all opportunities show up again. Many men have gone abroad and left babies at home. Women have done it too

    • Que

      September 6, 2016 at 6:35 pm

      At 6months olddd????? I can leave a child not a baby… I can’t, I rather back d baby and go.

    • Laila

      September 6, 2016 at 7:47 pm

      Que you really think that a woman who leaves her 6mnth old wants to? If that happens it is because of necessity.

      Shoot even here in America some women who don’t have FMLA have to put their 1mnth old in daycare. You think they want that?!? Of course not but people need to do what they need to do.

      That mother who leaves her under-1yr child just may be doing the most responsible thing she can. You should thank your lucky stars you’d never have to be in the same position. I say this as someone who was raised primarily by my grandmother until 6yrs as my parents were both hustling abroad to set themselves and in turn US for the long term.

    • Que

      September 7, 2016 at 8:14 pm

      @Laila, you have made assumptions on my behalf, how do you know I will never have to be faced with this choice? How do you know I dont have firsthand experience about what I speak of?….. I am insisting in my rational mind that such a job isnt worth it to ME! I am the product of 2 generations of career women and natural bornnhustlers, and am one myself……and I maintain that NO JOB is worth leaving my 6month old for a year. Thank you.

      We are crying about men/husbands stepping up, how about the corporate world step up and recognise that recreation is a natural occurence and start embracing it in someway…..ever heard of companies with nurseries?…..hellooo….. pls build your life on your values and I will do mine, on my own. As you believe, so will you attract.

    • dami

      September 7, 2016 at 12:21 am

      ….act right?.could be other reasons apart from a job. I had to travel to birth my baby and guess what…my husband has been the sole care giver of our child back in Nigeria. He isn’t even 2yrs sef. He baths him, prepares his breakfast to school/creche and off course he’s got his ever demanding job and exams as well. Never had a maid and families stay quite far so he does it all by himself. Am comforted to know that I have a husband whose heart is at home with his family and I love him even more for that.so my dear, husbands need to start putting much more than money on the table when it comes to their kids. It’s been unable to handle the home front that has led most kids to suffer unduly after the demise of their mothers.

    • Que

      September 7, 2016 at 8:01 pm

      I am not excusing lazy fathers at all…. your husband sounds much like my dad, amazing men and i am grateful for mine…..but i still wont be leaving my 6month babe alone with him, or any other shikena… you mentioned yours being almost 2yrs, now that sounds more sensible, at 2 your child can recognise your voice on d phone and understand when u talk…. what can a 6month old do biko nu? As I said b4, the job isnt a good enough excuse FOR ME….. Of course this is life, so it may be unavoidable by some happenstance, but that doesnt include d scenario given in this video, 1year off frm my 6month old, is a choice i will be willing to let go of simple.

      For those narrating experience, save it abeg, my own reach me and we all decide for ourselves according to our personal experiences. This isnt even about the ability of my husband….I will have turned down d offer b4 informing him. Now if I feel like my child/children are at a stage where they can partake in their own care/protection and can handle it, theen I can worry about husband’s ability to fill d gap. Until then mba nu! We will manage d garri like that.

    • Que

      September 7, 2016 at 8:26 pm

      BN stop swallowing my response.

    • Xoxo

      September 7, 2016 at 10:14 am

      Aunty nobody is saying its about equality. You never know what can happen. I would never ever want or dream of leaving my child for a year and going away to work, truth is no mother ever wants to be far away from her child. But in a situation where that work will guarantee enough money that will help take care of the family and child in the long run what will happen?? Lets even leave money aside, what if that particular work is what tge woman needs to jump start her career??Yes the mother is the primary care giver but why can’t the father step up when she won’t be around? Its not too much to ask. A woman can still be a mother and have a successful career. Men (Nigerian men) need to stop making women choose between their family and career. It is very evil. Men go away all the time and some come back home once or twice in a year and your wife is home taking care of the kids. Why can’t you help your wife too and take care of the kids you both brought into the world?? At the end of the day it boils down to having an understanding partner who truly wants you to achieve your goals regardless of any obstacle.

  7. Tonia

    September 6, 2016 at 4:45 pm

    I need a Lover. I want to move on from a failed marriage. I have three Kids, lives in PH, sitll young and beautiful. i heed a handsome, single and financially stable man. Follow me on whatsapp 08063283807 if u intrested

    • Esther

      September 7, 2016 at 1:39 am

      Be careful. Don’t allow desperation to lead you to worst situation.

  8. scarlet

    September 6, 2016 at 5:07 pm

    Will any Nigerian man every take up the responsibility of caring for their child for ordinary 24hrs? we all know the answer from majority will be hell NO!, they always feel women are the work and quench of the family, Nigerian Men with their sense of over entitlement since 1801!

    • Que

      September 6, 2016 at 6:31 pm

      Well since you said ‘any’….the answer is yes…My dad took care of me n my siblings on some holidays while my mum enjoyed the time to herself….she’d pick us up from school, and ship us + nanny off to my dad after 2days to enjoy her alone time without our noise…. my dad did 80% of the school visiting from my ss2 till uni, till he couldnt. My mum only showed up for graduation/convocation and d likes… she had done her share of work in our earlier years.. cos as she put it, you have to look after children till they are conscious and aware enough to participate in their own care and protection… so yes it happens.

    • Tinu

      September 6, 2016 at 11:43 pm

      Pls speak for urself o. My husbands will and does. Regularly.

  9. CUTTRED MEATLOAF!!

    September 6, 2016 at 6:13 pm

    It all depends on the schedule of the parents,personally i would do it,its all for the benefit of the child,besides i dont need to breast feed the child its all about changing diapers and such….

  10. Baba

    September 6, 2016 at 6:39 pm

    I hate living abroad,but if there is one thing i am grateful.for,it made me be closer to my kids.From delivery to bathing,to night jobs so i could look after them during the day.
    She xan go for 2 yrs sef…i dey kampe!!

    • slice

      September 6, 2016 at 6:51 pm

      Well done my brother.

    • Baby gurl

      September 6, 2016 at 7:19 pm

      Aaw u are blessed. You are a great father. God enlarge ur territory Amen.

  11. Tilta

    September 6, 2016 at 6:59 pm

    Why would a mom abandon her six months old baby?.Six months is too damn early for a mother to abandon her child for a year trip.Let’s be realistic,at this stage mothers are more suitable in providing the child the best affection and love he/she needs….However if the job salary is mouthwatering,she should still take the baby along with a nanny.

  12. Baby gurl

    September 6, 2016 at 7:29 pm

    Aaw u are blessed. You are a great father. God enlarge ur territory Amen.

  13. demashi

    September 6, 2016 at 7:31 pm

    Done it for 2 weeks before – changing nappies, bathing babies is my forte. For one year, I don’t know oh! It will be extremely difficult for a woman to leave a 6 month old baby for such a long time but if circumstances warrant it, a man should be able to step up to the plate.

  14. Roma

    September 6, 2016 at 7:42 pm

    No matter the amount of money involved, i can never leave my child to anyone, not even my husband (even though he’s very good with house chores).
    This should not be an issue! What does a man know about taking care of infants. A woman who carried her child for 40 weeks would think twice before even contemplating on leaving her infant child with her husband for a year.
    please, we should stop looking for loopholes where there is none.

  15. Mannie

    September 6, 2016 at 8:41 pm

    First of all, the premise of the question is wrong. My wife will never be my “property”, so ALLOWING her to pursue a job opportunity is not even a thing (she is a human being with the ability to make her choice). If the question asked is whether I will SUPPORT my wife by taking care of our 6-month old baby while she pursues a job opportunity, my answer will be YES.

    I have a colleague with a 3-year old daughter who was recently offered a fellowship at Harvard for a year. After discussing with her husband and making compromises at home, she accepted the offer, Her husband- who has a job too- will be looking after the child while she is away. She departs in January. Kini big deal?

    If a man can spend a month away from home expecting his wife to take care of the kids, why can’t a woman do the same and expect her husband to take care of the kids? At the end of the day, the man and woman are playing for the same team, abi?

  16. Achalugo

    September 6, 2016 at 9:09 pm

    Hmm, after reading these comments, it’s clear to me that we Nigerian women act as enablers to men who think it beneath them to look after their babies. I had my baby abroad and I have to say, guys abroad are so very different from guys here. The fathers around me, young and old were speaking baby with me so conversantly. They were/are very hands on with taking care of their babies because they had to. They don’t have as much help as we do down here and so they do what they have to do. Down here it’s a mentality thing for both men and women. We believe the men are not capable and so allow them to go off and be “men”.

  17. nwa nna

    September 6, 2016 at 10:27 pm

    It’s all about priorities.. I personally think 6 mos is way too young for a baby to be without a mother’s nurture.. Don’t have a problem taking care of my child, but 6 months in my opinion is no buenos..

  18. New bride

    September 7, 2016 at 6:11 am

    I was away all of last year for medical reasons and had to leave our son with my husband. I survived, they survived, we survived.
    For those saying o can never blah blah, just pray you never find yourself in a situation where there’s no choice, just pray!
    This is why our men keep feeling entitled, we enable them too much. The child is his too ! Not like I stole the baby and dumped on him!

  19. artklub

    September 7, 2016 at 8:57 am

    Families should stay together with the kids until they reach 18 years old. I do not advocate for Husband or Wife leaving the kids for career abroad what so ever. If you cannot guard your kid for 18 straight years, do not have them! Also I will add: If you cannot afford your kids – Do Not have them!

    • artklub

      September 7, 2016 at 9:00 am

      Society pays for the dysfunctional behavior of unguarded kids, all day and everyday and it needs to stop. After you are done impressing everyone with your big fat wedding and your baby bump, and child – you will now leave someone else to rear your relationship and children? That is one of the biggest reasons why Nigerians are dysfunctional. This long distance family & relationship stuff does a lot of damage but people don’t realize it.

    • artklub

      September 7, 2016 at 9:01 am

      Money isn’t everything! Cut your cloth according to size.

  20. MamaD

    September 7, 2016 at 4:31 pm

    *Sidetalk* That is if the woman even comes back to find the home she left intact. Put at the back of your mind that the only man that won’t cheat is one with erectile dysfunction.

    • Xoxo

      September 7, 2016 at 4:39 pm

      No ma! The only man that won’t cheat is the one that has SELF CONTROL AND GENUINE FEAR OF GOD.

    • Amaka

      September 7, 2016 at 5:04 pm

      Mama D is wicked Lol. Let’s seriously consider what she said. Leaving a man for 12months with a child is too much o. What if the woman does not find her home intact again. If the man is very busy with work, some nice girls may decide to help him out. with the baby. That is how it starts.

  21. Nkechi

    September 7, 2016 at 5:09 pm

    Cheating is weird in my circle. A lot of people don’t understand the consequences, you have absolutely no reason to cheat on your wife under heaven. Don’t cook up excuses for yourself. Adultery is evil. I am not saying the woman should go for a year but the world thinks cheating is normal. It is not, instead it is a wicked thing.

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