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Peculiar Okafor: They Don’t Deserve Success Syndrome



Imagine these scenarios:

  • A beautiful, successful woman who is every man’s dream walks in, with an average guy – and you think he doesn’t deserve her.
  • That under-40 CEO with the TDHRT looks, gets married to the girl next door who just runs a small shop; we think ‘these village girls, she must have jazzed him‘.
  • A girl from Mushin owns a building in one of the poshest estates. We say no matter how long she lives there, she can never integrate with the area because she is  ‘classless and no amount of money can buy class‘.
  • You wonder how your boss got to where she is; she must either be very connected or graced an important person’s bed.
  • The promotion list comes out and you swear that half the people on the list don’t deserve their promotions. They definitely got it through politicking – but of course, you deserve yours.
  • That girl no one noticed is now a successful entrepreneur and living the life and you scoff your nose at any news of her success- she is definitely a ‘runz girl’

These scenarios described above are examples of the ‘They don’t deserve success syndrome’  –  where we believe that somehow people who don’t fit into a certain bill shouldn’t succeed; or at least not to a particular level.  So, rather than admire and be grateful for the successes of other people, we sit there silently judging, convincing ourselves that they do not deserve their success. They are ‘success miss roads‘ because they aren’t educated, classy, …….. enough. You fill in the blank spaces.

The truth is that, it is not our place to decide who deserves success because we do not know the blood, sweat and tears that people have put in to achieve success. It can be painful when we have the right upbringing, good grades, etc, and someone seemingly undeserving gets the success we were trained to believe we deserve, by virtue of our upbringing and exposure. Criticising them robs us of the opportunity to learn from them, because nobody succeeds without obeying a life principle. Even the ‘runz girls’ are working on the premise that if you touch a person’s emotions, you invariably reach their pockets. (Let me state that I do not support runz in any way).

In this month of love, it’s time to appreciate the successes of everyone even the seemingly undeserving. The sky is wide enough for all God’s children, there is enough success for everyone.

Photo Credit: Dreamstime

Peculiar is a Marketing communications personnel, she believes that one can have a full life without being bitchy and she wants it all 'A good career, love, laughter, wealth, you name it. She blogs at Follow her on Instagram @daworkdiva and Facebook ''


  1. Ruby

    February 21, 2017 at 5:08 am

    BN please how do i send stories to your blog?

  2. Sapphire

    February 21, 2017 at 9:11 am

    BN please how do you receive stories or articles for your blog. If via email, please kindly indicate the address. Thanks.

  3. Ruby

    February 21, 2017 at 9:47 am

    Thanks. Just needed confirmation because I did send an article to said address over 3 weeks ago and I still haven’t received any response whatsoever from you.

  4. LL

    February 21, 2017 at 9:55 am

    This is a very real syndrome and affects many of us. In fact I didn’t know it affected me until I searched myself and realized that I judged certain people undeserving of their success either because they were not intelligent or didn’t struggle through it. I asked myself that if they were so undeserving, how come they have been able to take strides I haven’t been able to? I actually asked God for forgiveness and have been able to take major strides in life as well as enjoy people from all walks of life. This is because I started seeing life differently and not through my ‘,intelligent ‘ eyes alone. This ‘they don’t deserve it’ syndrome limits you, your abilities and keeps you from true friendship and living.

  5. Peculiar Okafor

    February 21, 2017 at 10:42 am

    @ LL, thanks for the comment. The process you went through is one most people with the ‘right’ upbringing have passed through.

    @Bella, thanks for posting this article as well as others. I had sent a mail requesting that my profile be tweaked as a lot has changed in my life since that last profile was changed.

    I forwarded the mail and since I’m sure you receive tons of mails daily, the subject of the mail is ‘from a Bella Naija writer’.

    Once again, many thanks.

  6. Tosin

    February 21, 2017 at 11:29 am

    donald trump as president … looooooooooool

  7. Fabulous

    February 21, 2017 at 11:42 am

    So on point. Nice one Pec.

    • Peculiar Okafor

      February 21, 2017 at 12:17 pm

      Thanks a lot

  8. funmilola

    February 21, 2017 at 11:58 am

    my mind went straight to Linda ikeji while reading, that lady must have a very tough skin.

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