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Exclusive: Ese Walter-Ark Gets “Naked” in Her Debut Memoir

OkadaBooks

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In 2013, Ese Walter found herself holed up in a hotel room in Abuja.

Only 2 people knew her whereabouts and they kept it secret, as they watched her battle immense shame and fear as she tried to hide from the world.

It’s 2017, and Ese Walter now Ese Ark is married with 2 children and she is no longer hiding.

Through a series of intense therapy, soul searching and forgiveness, Ese has been able to pull off the garments of shame that held her back for so long and expose herself to the world in her debut powerful memoir “Naked: A Journey to Self”

The book goes on sale on the 29th of March and will be available on okadabooks.com

Exclusive Excerpts:

On Boys
“I grew up thinking I was inferior to boys. I thought I was created to make a man happy, to serve him, to put my needs on hold to attend to his. I thought if a man wasn’t happy with how I looked, how smart I sounded, of if he didn’t think I was pretty enough, slim enough, or good enough, then I was doing something wrong.”

On Sex
“As a young adult, I had a lot of shame around sex. I couldn’t talk freely about it or express desires to engage in it. While boys were bragging about all the sex they were not having, the girls were labeled ‘bad’ if they owned up to liking sex. Two adults (male and female) have consensual sex and somehow the woman is the whore and the man is the player.”

On Religion
“One day, I declared my unbelief and called myself an unbeliever. That was the last time I pretended to believe what I didn’t believe. Till date, I don’t engage in religious arguments but I talk about consciousness and awakening every chance I get. I don’t hate Christians or religious people in general. I don’t even hate the pastor I had an affair with. I see him now as my biggest teacher on religious matters. If what happened had never happened, I wouldn’t have gotten the push I needed to explore my beliefs. I would have been living a lie to this day, claiming to believe what I didn’t. Today I feel free. I am free to pursue my beliefs if any, I am free to explore my consciousness, I am free to love all people because I do not have a bias based on religious affiliations. I am also free to attend church or any religious gathering of my choice, if I so please.”

62 Comments

  1. Call Me Gorgeous...

    March 21, 2017 at 8:21 am

    Ese Ese…:)
    She is another version of a Toke Makinwa…

    Whatever happened to that “robust” response the COZA pastor promised us?

    • lobatan

      March 21, 2017 at 10:16 am

      That man s so arrogant ehn.. chaii.. sitting in his sermon I literally kept rolling my eyes.. Lamborghini this, dubai that, rolls Royce .. blah blah blah.. He is a flashy preacher.. u knw the prosperity gospel kind.. It was horrifying.. I wanted so badly to leave the church that day bt see me sitting in the front row, closest to the wall.. SMH

    • Ify

      March 21, 2017 at 10:35 am

      “Journey to self” “On becoming” Lmao. What next? I’ll read this. I won’t buy it but I’ll read it for the gist. I just wish our women didn’t have to be destroyed emotionally by men before discovering themselves. It’s so cliche now.

    • Anne

      March 21, 2017 at 2:23 pm

      Toke. Guess you are the new example. But why a naked picture. Your children will grow up too. Is this issue going to go on forever. You and Pastor will die one day and face God. Better serve God and stop getting distracted by social media.

  2. godwin

    March 21, 2017 at 8:35 am

    Yeah whatever happened to the robust response. Sad to notice that Nigeria will never learn that most of these Pastors are scam artists

  3. joy

    March 21, 2017 at 8:39 am

    Still preparing the ROBUST reply…………..i hope she gets her final closure with this

  4. Wale

    March 21, 2017 at 8:55 am

    Ese is unbecoming in Naked…..But if truly the pastor saw your nakedness, the title of this book would bring more memories to him! Cashing in on your experience, all thanks to Toke……lol

  5. Race of Life

    March 21, 2017 at 9:07 am

    Toke, Stephanie, Ese, wow, anymore??? Maybe Cossy?…Ayam watching..Hmmmmmm…

  6. Peace

    March 21, 2017 at 9:08 am

    Pastor COZA, we are still waiting for your “robust response”
    Na wa, it is well with the body of Christ.

  7. Peace

    March 21, 2017 at 9:10 am

    Everybody is writing book. May be I will write about the state of Nigeria because the situation of things tire person.

  8. Mummy Ade

    March 21, 2017 at 9:17 am

    It’s so sad that when people need to speak with psychologists, therapists etc they would rather write a book. Its okay…I hope this brings closure to her heart and strengthen the relationship she has with her spouse and family.

    • lobatan

      March 21, 2017 at 10:20 am

      writing is also therapeutic…. Nd she did mention she was in counselling

    • Jayn

      March 21, 2017 at 10:43 am

      But she said she spoke to a psychologist.

  9. o

    March 21, 2017 at 9:32 am

    I feel sad that Ese lost her faith in the midst of the scandal. I pray the Lord heals her completely Amen

    1
    • ngobeke

      March 21, 2017 at 2:28 pm

      My sentiments exactly!!

    • EseStayStrong

      March 21, 2017 at 9:51 pm

      She has not lost her faith. What she has found is God without the facade, emptiness, showiness and broken dreams of religion. What she has found is God Himself. Pure and simple

    • Nero

      March 23, 2017 at 7:08 pm

      Exactly….

  10. Olumide Lawrence

    March 21, 2017 at 9:33 am

    Interesting.

  11. DAME

    March 21, 2017 at 9:55 am

    what struck me is her present religious belief or unbelief ! this is sad….Pastor Abiodun Fatoyinbo doesn’t know what he has done ! whether he did it or not…someone has doubt in that area now because of his actions . Why did he not provide us with the response? Some of you would say he doesn’t owe me or anyone a response ….true..but he owes it to the body of christ…as the shepherd over his assembly….even Jesus explained things to his disciples …he never left them to wonder !
    Do you know as a pastor you are responsible for your flock ? God is merciful doesn’t mean we should take his grace for granted !
    Ese where ever you are…look unto Jesus….not man, not system not a body..unto Jesus…he is ready and willingly to take every step with you.

    2
    • lobatan

      March 21, 2017 at 10:19 am

      You ehn.. ?? sense

  12. DAME

    March 21, 2017 at 10:07 am

    And no…she did not loose her faith because she slept with the pastor….no…it was consensual.
    She probably lost her faith at the covering of the sin, the denial….even the pastor she confided in who choose to turn a blind eye. God knows this is why i changed church…i cannot see evil and not talk. God doesn’t admonish us to hide evil. I am light…i cannot stand darkness

    1
    • lobatan

      March 21, 2017 at 10:18 am

      God bless you . I am just like you.. my own issue is not that he committed a sin.. my thing was.. why walk around like it was ur right to do that.. is it because u r a pastor? Even threatening the girl nd her family .. The man is accountable to the church.. tts one thing our ppl don’t get..

  13. ButtercuP

    March 21, 2017 at 10:11 am

    See gogbe!

  14. Las

    March 21, 2017 at 10:23 am

    “Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free ”
    Knowing the truth about oneself and the state of one’s soul is the most liberating thing of all.

  15. just saying

    March 21, 2017 at 10:45 am

    Iv lost so much faith with Christianity in Naija honestly that I’m considering helping some members in my family in dire need than giving an already rich church in thite.
    I’m feeling a little guilty thinking this way because I cant afford to do both on a monthly basis, don’t earn that much.
    Is it right for me to leave my family in need and keep giving to church
    Am I doing wrong trying to help my family and not the church ???
    I saw my mum recently and I felt so bad because the economy isn’t helping her business and things are becoming gradually bad. She’ll never ask for help. But I know she needs it.

    1
    • ore

      March 21, 2017 at 11:03 am

      help your mum

      1
    • chick

      March 21, 2017 at 11:26 am

      Our parish priest once told us to solve the needs of those around us before thinking of tithing. If we see people in need n refuse to help but instead take the money to church for tithe then we hv failed as Christians. Our primary responsibility as Christians is to help those in need

      1
    • Okechukwu Ofili

      March 21, 2017 at 9:51 pm

      Wisest thing I heard all year! Thanks @chick

    • olorire

      March 21, 2017 at 11:35 am

      i feel you but your faith should be in God and not in churches. ask to be led by God. someone’s action or a church’s action should not derail you! afterall they are all men. always ask God to guide you when it comes to giving!.

    • funmilola

      March 21, 2017 at 11:51 am

      this isn’t about you helping your mum, it’s you not believing in giving your tithe…it’s your conviction. me giving my tithe can’t stop me from helping someone in need. so, search within yourself and ask God for answers not church.

    • Nuna

      March 21, 2017 at 12:45 pm

      You know she needs help? Why are you waiting for her to tell you before you do the needful?

    • EGO

      March 21, 2017 at 3:02 pm

      Darling, help those who need it and you certainly would be doing the mind of God. Pastors are quick to throw “Bring ye all your tithes into the storehouse” and “Will a man rob God?” at you but they’ll never read the scriptures on tithe completely so you see tithe was also about setting aside part of what we have to share with the needy and those that lack, they certainly will not read the scripture that says “Whatever you do to the least of my brothers, that you do onto me” – the very words of our Lord Jesus who feed his congregation and collected no tithe.
      I personally give my tithe now UNFAILINGLY to individuals who the money will help fulfill a need. You are so not wrong to contemplate doing so, DO IT. God sees and he will bless you. Your blessings are not the exclusive preserve of any church or human, trust me.

      1
    • The real dee

      March 22, 2017 at 4:11 am

      EGO, Giving your tithe doesn’t stop us from giving the needy. One should never be substituted for the other. Give your tithe and also give to the needy. Bear in mind that giving the needy doesn’t only mean giving money. If I volunteer my time to help the homeless, if i take groceries and old cloths to salvation army, i have also given to the needy. God has blessed us so much that giving him 10% is just a minute part of what we earn. That is the only place i’ve seen in the Bible where God dared us to prove him and see if he windows of heaven will not open in our favor.

      So please don’t stop tithing. Forget what pastors are doing with the money. That won’t stop God from fulfilling his word. The pastor that squanders the money has his severe punishment waiting for him.

    • LoveAddict

      March 21, 2017 at 4:38 pm

      @Justsaying, think what would Jesus do? I thibk he will help those in need around us first before considering giving the tithe to Church. Thats what my heart tells me.

      1
    • Papacy

      March 22, 2017 at 12:40 am

      Your mum. Like is that even a question?

      1
    • Sudukis

      March 22, 2017 at 12:44 am

      You’re waiting for your mother to ask for help before you help her?

    • Izzy

      March 22, 2017 at 12:12 pm

      You’ve actually lost faith in the God you serve, who clearly instructed the paying of tithes. Without faith it is impossible to please God. The things of God may seem foolish in the eyes of men,even the Bible says so. Instead of listening to the wise men in this court of public opinion asking you to go against paying of tithes as instructed by God. Why not talk to God about it and work on your faith? Tithe is 10% of your income. You can still set aside some percentage to help your mum, cos even God expects you to. There are so many evil that you are shielded from just cos you tithe that you will never even know about. When God instructed us to pay our tithes, He didn’t ask us to go worrying about what the pastor’s are using it for. Your duty is to do His word, cos He knows all things.

    • Momoh Sandra

      October 7, 2018 at 8:51 am

      You should help your immediate family who are truly in need first. Remember even the bible said he who cannot …………. is worst than an infidel. It also said honour thy father and mother. Providing for your parents is honouring them with your substance. Care for your mother first. Many are giving to the church. How many are giving to your mum?

      1
  16. Obi

    March 21, 2017 at 10:53 am

    @ Just saying
    – It is perfectly okay to help your family in need over paying tithe in any church. All is in the spirit of giving and im sure God understands. Please help your mum in her business too.

    1
  17. funmilola

    March 21, 2017 at 11:59 am

    “consciousness and awakening”….sounds very familiar, like something I read in Frank Peretti’s books.
    very dangerous

  18. iyke

    March 21, 2017 at 12:10 pm

    I don’t know whether you agree with this or not, but I wish they had taught us in school how to FIGHT……not literally. You see, when I was at school, there were people who were brilliant at school who are today disasters in life. Why???Because they missed the one thing that matters in life, which is called the FIGHT……. Ese’s position/viewpoint on RELIGION exemplifies that being who had struggled and fought a really good fight …. Her intelligence and developed strength are highly commendable.
    Critical thinking..ability to question the status quo…and the courage to walk away even when everyone thinks you are crazy. Well done Ese …Glad to hear that you are mentally FREE at last. There is no shame in letting it all out.

  19. lobatan

    March 21, 2017 at 1:35 pm

    BN all my posts nkoh? are they paying u?

  20. Nonye

    March 21, 2017 at 2:04 pm

    Insightful. When you are now a reproach to the body of Christ, how can you be at peace with yourself dear Pastor COZA?

    • DAME

      March 21, 2017 at 2:26 pm

      He doesnt care my dear…as long as the hall is full…offering is rolling in and his beard gang is growing..he is home and dry. we often wonder why God loved David soooooo much…that he called him a man after his heart…it was honest remorse. we never read david committed the same sin twice or hid his sin or played pranks with his creator.
      every time david sinned, he asked God for forgiveness sincerely, accepting his sin and seeking forgiveness.
      But grace abounds now na, God doesnt strike people down so…they take the grace of God fror granted. shame
      Acts 17:11 said and i quote :
      Now the Berean Jews were of more noble character than those in Thessalonica, for they received the message with great eagerness and examined the Scriptures every day to see if what Paul said was true.
      This is lacking today, COZA pastor said and i quote from one of his msgs…who said u cannt serve God and Mammon together…lol…did we not search the bible ???/God said dear pastor rev bishop.

      wo…may the grace of God abound in our hearts to keep us from all evil amen

    • Amaka

      March 21, 2017 at 11:32 pm

      I know who you are. You’ve left the church. Go in peace now. Abi?

  21. john

    March 21, 2017 at 2:23 pm

    An a sane man went and married her ..a woman with alot of issues both mentally and emotionally and spiritual issues. .seriously. did anyo ne imagined the marriage going past 10 yrs ( being generous) ..asuka , get ready , it is like u got another interview in hand

    • Tokstarr the Fakestarr

      March 21, 2017 at 7:47 pm

      You are a possessed son of a b**ch.

      so she should lose her life and sense of self because of a bastard son of a b**ch useless shady prankster perverted lying sex maniac devilish fake ass BIODUN FATOYINBO.

      God punish you and him together.

    • missnk

      March 22, 2017 at 11:11 pm

      satan be gone

  22. john

    March 21, 2017 at 2:24 pm

    Tomorrow someone will go and marry Stephanie otobo and expect his marriage to be stress free..smh

    • Race of Life

      March 21, 2017 at 4:09 pm

      Na Warri girl. Go to waffi, they are survivors. They just don’t kiss and tell. One Akpos will be waiting for her.. This one don canadise…So she is even hotter. You will be shocked how many guys want her….lol

  23. ngobeke

    March 21, 2017 at 2:33 pm

    I’m honestly happy she’s found her peace. There’s nothing as infuriating or would I say frustrating as seeing someone in ‘position of authority’ get away with something they ought to pay seriously for. I truly understand where she’s coming from and my experience made me dethrone man in my life….made me stronger. Sometimes I feel a bit extreme but better safe than sorry.

    Thank God for you Ese.

  24. Iphy

    March 21, 2017 at 3:06 pm

    @John…your comment is quite insensitive to say the least. Everyone of us has a past; the fact that she bared hers out is a courageous action that should be encouraged and not taunted. The reason we are still backward as a nation is because we turn a blind eye to wrongdoings and sweep sin under the carpet. God acknowledged Ese’s repentance and blessed her with a good man; who are you to cast a stone at her marriage? May God forgive you!

  25. nene

    March 21, 2017 at 4:30 pm

    ese was just as guilty as the pastor. but at least she confessed about it, while Mr. Pastor hasn’t given a robust response for years. as for her beliefs, she claimed she was never religious before she got into COZA, but there were better options she could’ve picked to help her build her faith if she was really serious about it, but that’s another story for another day.

    1
  26. AJ

    March 21, 2017 at 4:52 pm

    To everyone on the issue of tithing. I know when times are hard, the first thing for us as humans to do is to compromise on is our tithe, and especially in a country where scandals are popping up everywhere, I know how you may feel. But one thing you have to understand is that God gave a command, and God never goes back on His word. Did He know that people will probably be stealing the tithe or using it for their own selfish ambition? Yes! And He still says to pay your tithe. When you pay your tithe, you come under supernatural protection and provision from God. It doesn’t matter what your pastor does with the money, the issue here is are you obedient to God? Your blessings come from God and not man. A lot of people see tithing as a reduction, meanwhile God says He will bless you so much that you won’t even have room enough to receive His blessings. So set your expectations on Jesus, I don’t know how taxes work in Nigeria, but in the US, taxes come out of your salary, every time you get paid. I know I don’t complain about what the US government does with “my money” it’s a law already set in place, and I have to obey, if I live and work in the United States. That can be said about tithing as well, as believers of Christ, we have to obey God when it comes to giving, because it is a law He already put in place. And we know that God is not man, He will take care of you. Everything belongs to Him regardless. So when you are obedient in this area, you will always have enough for yourself, and plenty left over to share with others. For Taxes and tithes are non negotiable, I don’t care if a bill is pending or if there is a more pressing issue at hand. I just trust God and He always comes through in one way or the other. God will take care of those pastors who squander His resources and He will take care of you because you obeyed Him regardless. And also pray to Him to lead you to the right churches.

    • GodlyNonThither

      March 22, 2017 at 12:53 am

      How your Pastor must love you.

      Giving to Pastor to buy jet and flensure does not equal giving to God.

      God has given you a brain to think and make decisions please use it.

      1
    • GodlyNonThither

      March 22, 2017 at 1:12 am

      Don’t compare God with the US Government who takes your money by force. Is your God the same God who gave Adam and Eve the freewill to obey Him or not?

      Pay thithe if you want to but it’s not by force. Nothing bad will happen to those who don’t pay and those that pay are not shielded from hard times and sorrow.

      How can you continue to put your money into a system you don’t trust? Are you, by so doing, being a good steward of the resources (and brain) that God has given you?

      Shine your eye Aj! God does not have a bank account o! Put your money where it is needed and accounted for. Don’t waste it by paying tithes to a mega church with too much money.

      At least the US Government has something to show for the taxes they collect from their citizens. What do our churches have to show for decades of tithe collection? Where are the hospitals and schools for the less priviledged? Why are our pastors building themselves empires on earth? Are we not going to heaven again?

      1
    • Tokstarr the Fakestarr

      March 22, 2017 at 8:02 pm

      you are deeply mad !!
      deeply.

  27. lola carey

    March 21, 2017 at 5:11 pm

    I feel sorry for her sha. seems her faith was based on d coza pastor not on/in God in heaven. and since coza pastor failed her that means her God failed her..that Coza man is not a Christian I tell you.

    1
  28. EseStayStrong

    March 21, 2017 at 9:56 pm

    She has not lost her faith. What she has found is God without the facade, emptiness, showiness and broken dreams of religion. What she has found is God Himself. Pure and simple

    • Kay

      March 21, 2017 at 11:10 pm

      Thank you Esestaystrong. she has found God.

  29. George

    April 20, 2017 at 7:34 am

    I am really surprised that people still talk about tithing…I thought it was open season on knowledge and the cat was let out of the bag…tithing IS NOT Christian. Heck..I used to pay tithe too…i was taught that . Then I realised that 90 of what I knew was what I was TOLD by spiritual ;guides’ and after an incident in my lfie started seeking God for myself as HE told me to..by reading the scriptures for myself and asking the Spirit to guide…I was shocked by a LOT of what I found…saddest part…the bible even warns in several places that these things would happen with teachings like this.. Tithing is part of the Jewish law. If you want to learn how to tithe..meet someone practising Judaism,. Someone here said pay tithe and give to the needy…tithing was FOR the needy and a bunch of other things. We have a higher calling now than the shadow of the law….if you want to live by the law…and there are several passages too that say we shouldn’t….dont eat pork….dont mix fabrics..go to church on SATURDAY….keep the Sabbath.. Here are two of the craziest things I saw about tithing when I read the bible for myself (1) NOBODY preaches tithing from the passage where the law was ACTUALLY given…they all use emotional blackmail of robbing God in Malachi (2) when u read the place it was given u find that (a) NOT EVERYONE was asked to pay tithe and (b) MONEY WAS DISCOURAGED. God help us

    1
  30. Shuriken

    September 29, 2017 at 9:16 am

    Is this not the girl that was claiming victim back then?
    When we criticized her sudden innocent “victimhood” after walking with her 2 legs to her pastor for 7 separate and consecutive days of non-stop for grooving, people called us names. She even went ahead to write poetry about how all the men in here family also abused her. Eyaah, abi?
    This girl is a vixen who serially loves to enjoy the pleasures of life, and pass the blame to others, and she’s from a background of many similar women. Yes I know this extended family.

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