Connect with us

Features

10 Things You’ll Relate To If You love Sleep

Nkem Ndem

Published

 on

We all sleep. We spend about a third of our lives sleeping. It is one of the consequences of having a body. Also, it is necessary for survival.

As it is with breathing, eating, farting or pooping, you do not need to go through any kind of training to master the art of sleeping.

It is not categorized as an intentional act to pleasure or entertain the body either…but over time, some humans have taken an extreme interest in this natural condition of the body and have made it their talent, hobby or sole purpose in life.

They list it as a skill on their CVs, register for international competitions that test their expertise. Some even go as far as taking it on as a religion, making it the foundation of their goals and aspirations.

You are probably shaking your head, wondering what kind of weirdos would be that extra with sleep, but you may just be one of them. For those who are open and proud of their inordinate love for sleep, here are 10 things that you’ll completely relate to:

Anywhere strong enough to carry your weight is a bed
You can sleep anywhere, on anything and in any position. You don’t need a bed, you can improvise with anything   –  a stool, a rope, a pool of water, the floor, another human being…name it. You do not need to be comfortable or even balanced…you just need to sleep.

The word “noise” holds no consequence for you
Your eardrums have a natural noise-cancelling device inbuilt in it, so you never have to worry about not being able to sleep due to noise. You can sleep through a riot, music concert, church service or earthquake. In fact, the club is your favorite place to sleep, despite the loud music, because you can wake up at intervals and sip on some cocktail.

You consider the statement “I was sleeping” to be a perfectly valid excuse
The HR ducked your salary, you didn’t show up for work yesterday. What happened? Oh! yeah, I was sleeping; I called you 12 times, you didn’t pick up. Why? What if it was an emergency? Oh wow, sorry, I was sleeping.

We had fun last night at the club, Beyonce made an appearance. You missed! Yeah, it’s alright, I was sleeping.

Sleeping is a genuine and valid reason as far as you are concerned, and when people try to argue that, you wonder what planet they escaped from. Earthlings require enough sleep per day.

You don’t need any cajoling to sleep
Usually, one would need to relax their mind and prepare their bodies before going to sleep; for people like you who love sleep and make it a priority, you can sleep at any time without undue preparation.

You don’t even need to be exhausted, tired or sick. It’s almost like a switch you can turn on an off. Insomnia is not a word in your dictionary, because you have never had to struggle to sleep. You even brag about how your ability to sleep is a super power because you are that confident about it.

Morning plans are a strict no-no
You are hardworking and ambitious, but certainly, you are not built for the morning hustle. The first thing you consider when you are asked to attend a meeting is the time -to make sure it can accommodate your sleeping schedule. No matter the kind of deal you intend to seal at that meeting, you are willing to cancel it at the last minute –  you want a few more minutes or hours of sleep.

In cases where you don’t have a choice but to wake up earlier than normal, you spend the rest of the day cranky, wondering when it is you will get back to your bed.

Everyone complains about how much you sleep
The first thing people say when they are asked to describe you is: he/she loves to sleep. This is because they have had to deal with you choosing sleep over them so many times and they have now accepted the fact that you are eternally bonded with sleep. Your family has held an intervention, asking you to change your sleep habits. You have even been advised by a co-worker to go check to see if you have some sleeping disorder.

Alarm clock is an enemy
You are one of the people the alarm clock was built for. You even have a couple around the house, but you hate them so much! They are the side chics trying to steal your bae (sleep) away from you, but you have to condone them because whether you like or not, you need them to stay woke. Sometimes you actually sleep through the alarm and then you blame the clock for not waking up. You do not understand how people can just get out of sleep on their own volition.

You don’t like to share your bed
Your bed is your best friend and you are a little possessive. You like to be able to spread your body anyhow you want when sleeping and so when someone tries to share the bed with you, it just makes everything uncomfortable for you. It’s even worse when the person now tries to talk or spoon;  you just want to shout in their ears and let them know that a  bed is for sleeping and they should let you be.

You even consider building a pillow fort when you really have to share the bed because you really do not want any interruptions when sleeping.

You pre-schedule sleep
Life is all about planning and so you realize that the only way to get more time to do what you love doing best –sleeping, is by scheduling your time to accommodate more of it in your free time.

You schedule in sleep on your commute to work in the morning, at least 10 minutes nap during break time, another 10 minutes before you go to the gym after work and perhaps another 30 minutes nap if it’s a Saturday and you have to hang out with friends. You always try to schedule in as much sleep as you can.

You have considered quitting your job just to sleep in
Most mornings, you wake up and actually consider just going back to bed. You think abou sending in a resignation later in the day. Surely, the world would not come to an end if you just quit your job? You just want to stay at home to sleep for the rest of your life.

Photo Credit: Dreamstime | Kouassi Gilbert Ambeu

Nkem Ndem is a dynamic freelance writer and editor who can be reached for copywriting, editing and proofreading. She is also a content creator (web, T.V, radio) who has had stints with Jumia and SpiceTV Africa e.t.c. Now she works at Glam Africa as Online editor and BellaNaija as Features writer. E-mail: [email protected]; IG: @kem_dem; Twitter: @ndemv

20 Comments

  1. Babym

    June 17, 2017 at 1:13 am

    Loool this was me before baby came ??. They say I will sleep again…. maybe when he is 18 ??

  2. Eky Shirley

    June 17, 2017 at 1:19 am

    No price surges
    No inflation….
    Using Ryno is getting serious value for your money

    • Spunky

      June 17, 2017 at 9:30 am

      Eky Shirley…welcome here!!!

  3. Authentic Sunshine

    June 17, 2017 at 2:14 am

    Nkem come let me educate you on sleep love. I am so bad with sleep that my system considers sleep as defence mechanism. So if I’m stressed I start shutting down. I dress up to go to sleep. I.e baff, finish chores then go back to bed – pure bliss. Better when everybody leaves for work and you have the entire street to yourself- guilty pleasure. I am so bad that as an adult, my bed time is 9pm. My phone goes off d hook b4 then cos friends and family know to contact for anything before 9 otherwise it’s OYO. Finally it’s that bad that once, I told a lover – wait lemme sleep and attend to you. I actually caught an hour sleep and was ready for …….lolest.

  4. Osa

    June 17, 2017 at 2:29 am

    But sometimes people sleep more than normal when going through clinical depression. Like an escape mechanism.

    • Miss Pee

      June 17, 2017 at 7:12 am

      I sleep when I’m having loads of thoughts on my mind and I don’t want to eitherghink or share it with anyone. When I’m awake I feel a lot better.

  5. Lmaoooo

    June 17, 2017 at 2:32 am

    Lmaoooooooooo the last one is so legit me hahahaha unbelievable looool

  6. Omotoyosi

    June 17, 2017 at 3:26 am

    This is so me. I cannot be bothered.
    I’m not bragging and it’s not something I’m proud of, but I remember the bomb blast when we stayed at the cantonment, all my family members were worried I wasn’t sleeping and that was because the week before, they came visiting and they were outside for over 3hours, already gave up knocking because they thought there was no one at home only for me to innocently open the door. Guess what, I was SLEEPING.

    I’m on my vacation and in my room for over a week, sleeping! Anything that gets me out of the room is to eat and have my bath. After that na sleep sure pass.

    Le boo says it’s a talent, my aunty says I should get enough sleep now because when I start having kids I will grateful I took advantage of it in my early life. Lol

    Shalla to the sleepers in the house. We ROCK!

  7. Liz

    June 17, 2017 at 3:59 am

    Ohh! How I can so relate. Sleep helps me reset back to manufacturer’s mode.
    I like my sleep o, I plan my workout for mid day and evening. When I hear work out in the morning, my mind goes sleep or work out, that’s a no brainer na sleep any day.
    Thanks for the ode to every sleep lover. Cheers to the sleep life!

  8. Eta Emmanuel

    June 17, 2017 at 6:16 am

    I have similar experience.. just like Authentic sunshine and Omotoyosi…but I was thinking you’ll also give tips to how we can adjust our sleeping menace????

  9. I'mJustSayn'

    June 17, 2017 at 7:25 am

    Proverbs 20 : 13

  10. Spunky

    June 17, 2017 at 9:35 am

    Me and sleep are so 5/6 I once slept past my destination on a road trip. Now, I appeal to my co passenger to alert me when approaching my point of journey should I use sleep to wound myself.

  11. Abominable snow girl

    June 17, 2017 at 10:48 am

    I sleep until my eyes start paining me…..
    I hate my call duties because I don’t get to sleep.
    One of the main reasons for my future resignation from my present job is so I can sleep…. ??

  12. Abominable snow girl

    June 17, 2017 at 10:52 am

    And FYI, Psalms 127 vs 2. Back at you @I’mJustSayn’.

    • Ajala & Foodie

      June 17, 2017 at 9:26 pm

      [email protected] your come back

    • Preciousgirl

      June 20, 2017 at 4:46 pm

      Nice!

  13. californiabawlar

    June 17, 2017 at 9:46 pm

    I like to sleep now o. Never used to. During undergrad and the first few years that followed, I remember my bff and I would stay awake for crazy hours just for the fun of it… we used to feel like we were missing out on life if we slept. Chai! We were young and crazy mehn! Late night parties and hang outs, tv, gisting and work… anything to just stay awake!
    Fast forward 7years, she has a bunch of kids and I’m mad busy, the most sleep I get on a great night is 5-6hrs (this past week I averaged 4hrs a night). We miss those days and relish sleep so much now. My bad sleep habits had built up and I was a raging insomniac at some point… I sha finally solved that problem by quitting coffee last October, so now I can at least fall asleep when I’m ready to. My boss and colleagues think I’m crazy since I’m still productive sans coffee. But little do they know that I’m actually more productive since I started getting ‘more sleep’.
    Another aspect: If I’m having trouble solving a problem on my project, I just go take a quick nap and I wake up feeling like Einstein!
    I long for a time my schedule will go back to normal so I sleep more…ahhhhh.

  14. Dame

    June 19, 2017 at 5:12 pm

    I AM A SLEEP-IST. I LOVE TO SLEEP. LMAO…NO SHAME .
    I CAN SLEEP FOR AFRICA…IF IT WAS AN OLYMPIC GAME…I WOULD ALWAYS WIN GOLD.

    Seriously tho, its a gift if i must say…noise means nada…i can sleep in the market as long as i am safe walahi.
    After work…sleep…after eating sleeping.
    the most precious time to sleep is Sunday afternoon after Sunday rice…doesn’t matter what is going on in town, which show or gig i must sleep my Sunday sleep..minimum is 3hrs….the other best time to sleep is saturday morning…push the chores till later or do friday night…that sleep is necessary. lol

    see me writing epistle cos of sleep. dear sleep…see you soon

  15. Mzphunby

    June 19, 2017 at 9:10 pm

    Dame, u’r on point nothing is more important than Sunday sleep.I can sleep ehn but now that I v started work, my body is trying to adjust, I sometimes doze during working hours. Immediately I get home I go straight to my bed I don’t mind forfeiting my dinner for sleep.

  16. dee

    June 21, 2017 at 4:30 pm

    sleep over food anytime any day!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Get The Pan-Atlantic Advantage

A Full Lifestyle & Entertainment Magazine…We COVET Fashion

Visit www.leadtra.com/conference to Register for the Upcoming Conference

Jokes Alone with guests Mr P, CDQ, & Patrick Salvador!

Star Features

Advertisement
css.php