Inasmuch as there is need to take advice from more experienced (not necessarily older) fellows, the onus is on you to take ownership of your life and the decisions you make, as, in the end, you’ll have to deal with the rewards – positive or negative.
You have to take ownership of your failures, shortcomings, challenges, as well as the solutions to them. You can’t be found wallowing in self-pity simply because you are experiencing something negative.
Life, is a mix of the good and the bad, and while it’s easy to say “take ownership and remain positive at all times,” sometimes, sad events elicit negative emotions that just take us down. The point is not to remain down. You can do this by taking steps that’ll make you accept your loss and live with it. It’s not easy, but it’s not impossible, and you also need to understand that everyone responds to pain, loss. or grief differently, but the goal should be to take the lessons, and get yourself in the positive mood.
That being said, there is no need to make excuses, or blame any other person for whatever happens to you. It’s your life; and if the failure occurs as a result of your action or inaction, then take ownership and learn the lessons. If it was as a result of circumstances beyond your control, do the same. Whatever be the case, look for the lessons and ways to feel positive, irrespective of the events of the past.
JK Rowling got rejected 12 times before she finally published Harry Potter, Kevin Hart was rejected for 19 years, Oprah Winfrey was told she wasn’t fit for TV, Walt Disney was told he lacked creativity as a cartoonist.
This may be the story of your life today, but as these people’s present is a wide margin from their past, so can your future be if you do not stop working.
The major challenge many people face is the fear of not getting things right the first time. That kind of fear does two things: It most times hinders you from starting, and when you finally start, it contributes a great lot so that you fail, and if you eventually fail, it says “I told you so” and keeps you down.
It’s not a problem to fail the first time or the 13th time. The truth is, you just need to get it right once, and all your work, determination and diligence will begin to get rewarded.