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Pregnant at 19, Married at 20, Separated at 23… This Nigerian Relationship Coach is redefining her Narrative & We admire her Positivity

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It is important to always take charge of your own story and share it in the way that you want the world to hear it. This is what relationship coach, speaker and facilitator Biola Makanjuola has done and we admire her positive attitude.

She shared a post on her Facebook page recently in a bid to tell her story and encourage people who have experienced similar feelings of despair to reach out to her.

Currently based in Canada, Biola shared the story of how she got pregnant, thought a marriage to the father of the child would fix things for her (but it didn’t) and lived through emotional abuse and a toxic relationship which caused her to start a downward spiral even after leaving her then husband.

She says:

Got pregnant at the age of 19, was zero’d out, condemned, alone and lost.

Became a mother & thought it best to make it official with my son’s dad at the age of 20

Got into unhealthy patterns in our relationship that led to emotional abuse and toxicity for the most part. Finally got the courage to separate at the age of 23 after going through an abortion and Sexually Transmitted Disease.

This started my downward spiral into involving myself in multiple toxic relationships between the ages of 24 – 27

Confused, lost, dark, toxic relationships was my drug of choice. Felt unworthy, self-esteem dragging on the floor begging to be picked up, had little or no confidence, gave up my power to define who I was to other people because I just hated the woman I had become. I constantly questioned why I was so different and abnormal.

My body defined my worth. I clearly had nothing to offer. My single motherhood didn’t even help. They said I couldn’t do any better because of my baggage. I agreed with them and gave them my power. It was their word over mine.

Finally got tired of engaging in this toxic cycle and decided to embrace my difference. At this point, I was tired! I was sick! I was done! I found my light towards the end of 2016.

Found the love I had been seeking the whole time in myself. Things started clicking. I found my purpose. I realized I had a story to tell and was determined to share. I was worthy and enough the whole time and didn’t even know it. I finally found my voice and I promised myself to speak my truth.

I promised God that if he took me out of my misery and showed me the way, I will spend the rest of my life serving.

Currently serving and growing a tribe of women who believe in their power to create their stories and would do anything to make it happen.

She concludes her story by inviting people for a 3-day event where she will share the action steps she took to move from “fear to fierce; from confusion to conviction; from bedmate to soulmate.”

Read up about the conference on her Facebook Page.

Photo Credit: Facebook | Biola Makanjuola

12 Comments

  1. Truth

    October 6, 2017 at 11:31 am

    You Go Girrrrlllll. Boy how I can so relate to this, the truth is only you can get you out of the pit. Keep striving and shinning. God’s got you

  2. Mannie

    October 6, 2017 at 1:04 pm

    It takes a great deal of positivity of wear high heels on snow… or simple act of delusion

  3. CHIKA

    October 6, 2017 at 1:12 pm

    I can relate!!!! Congratulations!

  4. Jo!

    October 6, 2017 at 1:51 pm

    Nope. Nopity nope
    Anybody that follows you and goes for this “conference” OYO.

    “End of 2016” abi? lol okay, give it a few more years

    • wow

      October 6, 2017 at 3:15 pm

      Thank goodness it wasn’t just me.

      “I found my light towards the end of 2016”. In my experience you gotta give it a few years now. You dont become a teacher after ONE year of turning away from addiction to toxic relationship. You dont see a drug/ alcoholic addict lead an AA centre after less than a year.

    • Wethecutenigerians

      October 7, 2017 at 7:31 am

      Relationship expert after few years of cohabiting with a few good and bad apples! Makes me wonder what makes her one. Seems to have her in the clouds in her current relationship but we can’t speak if the man feels same way.

  5. Jo!

    October 6, 2017 at 1:52 pm

    But you do have great friends, nice comments on here. So touching **wipes tears**

  6. Oje

    October 6, 2017 at 8:01 pm

    All these people creating story to make money.

  7. Letty

    October 7, 2017 at 2:58 pm

    Christmas is around the corner and she needs money. The hustle is real. Once Nigerians think they can talk they want to monetize it. Young ladies you don’t need anyone to teach you how to close your legs. She had a baby at 20 and still didn’t learn. Its called waywardness and a lack of self control. There is no psychobabble there. My mom used to tell us as kids once you open your legs for a man you are not married to he will never respect you. It might sound extreme but at least it helps with restraint.

    P. S. Ladies don’t wear heels in the snow its not a show of strength or fierceness but a recipe for disaster or a trip to the emergency room. Snow and sleet are no respecter of persons.

    • Cheryl

      October 9, 2017 at 11:31 pm

      Letty havent u opened your legs for any man before? are u a virgin? quit judging people cos even after closing your legs till marriage night doesnt guarantee a successful marriage without husband cheating. your moms advice is good but fact is she didnt marry a virgin so shes equally slutful and wayward. Sometimes after a hard breakup or disappointment girls feel that the only way they can be happy is to quickly have another partner,have sex and make the same mistakes again.Thats why you see many repeat the same cycle till they marry.This doesnt affect some as they get their engagement rings having sex with the man but maby are victims cos the guys will not marry them after sex. to be on the safe side,its better to halt sex till after marriage so you dont wring your heart girls. Goodluck to you all. Dont let your raging horny hormones get the better part of you!!!??

    • Hmmm

      October 10, 2017 at 5:52 pm

      @Cheryl There is so much contradiction in your statements. You ask her not to judge then you judged both her and her mother. You do not know for a fact that her mother was not a virgin before getting married. You’ve never met her mother before. I think you are just using yourself to rate her mother. You can defend certain lifestyle and choices without projecting.

  8. Bridget

    October 11, 2017 at 9:01 am

    I have a problem with ” and share it in the way that SHE WANTS THE WORLD TO HEAR IT” because the fact that she’s sharing it the way that she wants us to hear it doesn’t assure me that she is sharing it THE WAY IT TRULY IS…

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