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Osasogie Onoigui: Identifying Your True Self



Identity is principally inclined with the question of who you are.  What does it mean to be who you are?  Identity relates to basic values that dictate the choices we make (e.g., relationships, career).
These choices reflect who we are and what we value. There are cases whereby people internalize the values of their parents or the dominant cultures (e.g., pursuit of materialism, power, and appearance) which may not be align with one’s authentic self and thereby create unfulfilling life.

In dissimilarity, fulfilled people are able to live a life true to their values and pursue meaningful goals.

Identity may be acquired subconsciously from parents and peers. Children often times define themselves in terms of how they think their parents see them. People who perceive themselves as likable may remember more positive than negative statements. Lack of a clear sense of identity will lead to uncertainty about what one wants to do in life.

Self-Identity and self-esteem are very similar concept but include a value judgment about one’s identity. While self-esteem is a made about oneself, it is strongly influenced by a number of factors, particularly the perceived judgments of other influential people.

As youths begin to ponder, “Who am I?” they are now able think about themselves in more conceptual terms and this new ability to think abstractly enables them to expand their self-definition. Younger children who think more concretely will use concrete, observable characteristics to describe themselves such as their ability to run fast, or the color of their hair. In contrast, adolescents now begin to use more abstract characteristics to describe themselves such as their loyalty, kindness, and humor.

It is natural for us as humans to experience phases of uncertainty in life. However, in some cases, it may lead us to question our future, as well as our role in society. This in turn is likely to instill a feeling of insecurity within us and make us feel confused at times.

Being unsure of the importance of your role at home and within your social or professional circle, feeling directionless when it comes to your goals and ambitions, experiencing discomfort when somebody asks you about yourself, or undergoing difficulty while trying to establish as well as maintain strong and healthy interpersonal relationships with those around you are some of the hardships that one is faced within while experiencing an identity crisis.

As stressful as facing an identity crisis can be, one can always take initiate to overcome it in a timely manner. Acceptance towards oneself, positive self-talk, as well as introspection will promote self-awareness and help you to get to know yourself better. One can also take measures to tackle such situations through identification of their key strengths and abilities in order to unlock their true potentials, which will eventually help them to find themselves all over again.

  • Never be ashamed
  • Don’t weigh yourself by what you wore 10 years ago
  • The thing that governs your everyday choices are what you are
  • Remember where you’re coming from, remember certain people by the choices you make
  • You could be confused by getting your identity off social media
  • Change your mindset
  • Reclaim your mindset; that everything goes doesn’t mean everything goes
  • Don’t let the media determine your identity

What constitute the true self? The ultimate goal for individuals is to develop and nurture those choices that are consistent with their true self (link is external). To deny the true self is to deny the best within us. To find more happiness in life means to live in harmony with one’s true self.

Photo Credit: © Karelnoppe |

Osasogie is a freelance content writer who has done extensive editing and proofreading of website articles. She specialises in editing grammar, punctuation and consistency of style. She can be reached for online writing and editing, ghost writing and reviews. She has since worked with NaijaPr and Ynaija. Email: [email protected]


  1. susi cho

    June 15, 2018 at 5:37 pm

    Thank you for this write up because its timely following the series of recent sucides that have ocuured this year. Dear bellanaja readers, lack of self discovery is one of the major root cause of DEPRESSION and eventualy suicide, you can never discover yourself until you have a relationship with God your creator through JESUS CHRIST him alone will unveil your true self and reason for existence, no matter how many books you read on self discovery only your creator can explain it better to you. When you encounter JESUS he will activate those potentials and talents you have inside of you, he will show you who to use them on, where and how, doing this will bring joy, satisfaction and fulfilment in your life. Lastly if you dont discover yourself through jesus, social media would, your colleagues in the ofiice would, your friends would, fashion would, family would, money would and all these things and people come at once making you conflicted and confused because you can only have one source of self discovery God,. Lastly when thses mentioned above define you, they give you false DEFINITION AND FALSE INFO ON YOURSELF.

  2. Aare farmland

    June 15, 2018 at 10:14 pm

    Meditation/mindfullness is a good way to understand both identity and esteem, being alone with nature and clearing your mind of unnecessary thoughts will give you a good insight to yourself. The article is matured because it describes some attributes linked to mid-life crisis, As Africans, many of us will still look back at parental acceptance, career growth and whether we are among the top of our primary or secondary mates to gauge our esteem. Personally, I have a deeper abstract view about life and existence, having experienced life with ups and downs, getting strokes of lashes from life’s events and showers of love from different events. What I gained is that I can be ignorant about certain things.

  3. Solzy

    June 19, 2018 at 2:35 pm

    This is a great article and I love every bit of it.

  4. Ameena k.g

    June 19, 2018 at 2:43 pm

    Well said! Who we are is something we cant let anyone define for us. We have to decide who we want to be. We have to accept and love ourselves as we are, first of all.

  5. Adepegba oluwaseun

    June 19, 2018 at 6:28 pm

    Well-done osas….this post got me thinking

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