Dayo Akinbode: What I Saw in Pattaya, A City of Surprises

Why must every good thing come to an end? As my bus pulls away from the neon chaos of Pattaya and heads toward the quieter shores of Hua Hin, I find myself reflecting not just on the distance I have travelled, but on the contrasts I have lived in over the past few days. In Hua Hin, I will run my 132nd marathon in my 95th marathon country. This is going to be a five-hour road trip, and while I am looking forward to what is next, I cannot help but reflect on how I ended up in Pattaya in the first place, especially since I flew into Thailand through Bangkok.

For me, the journey to a destination is as important as the destination itself. As I studied the map of Thailand after landing, something caught my eye. A city sitting right across the Bay of Thailand from Hua Hin, where I will run my 132nd marathon in my 95th marathon country. That city was Pattaya. With just a little reading, I was hooked. Everything about Pattaya promised colour, life, and a certain unpredictability that I have come to crave in my travels.

My original plan was simple: Cross the Gulf of Thailand by ferry and sail for two hours from Pattaya to Hua Hin. The idea felt like a perfect transition, moving from one coastal city to another over water. I imagined the wind in my face and Hua Hin’s coastline emerging as Pattaya’s slipped away.

But as it turned out, that ferry had not resumed service since COVID. That route, once a smooth sea bridge between two vibrant cities, remained suspended, leaving me with the long land journey instead. Yet, I left a happy person.

Pattaya is unlike anywhere else in Thailand. A place where contrasts thrive. Sunrise joggers like me share the morning calm with families wading in the shallow ocean waters. Just a few blocks away, the nightlife is winding down, its vibrant pulse still echoing from the night before. This city’s coastline offers over 10 kilometres of diverse experiences. From the tranquil shores of North Pattaya to the bustling heart of Central Pattaya, and the electric nightlife of South Pattaya’s Walking Street, followed by the laid-back atmosphere of Jomtien Beach, where peace returns, there truly is something for everyone along the coastline. Jomtien Beach was just steps from my door. Its gentle waves were a grounding, soothing contrast to the energy surrounding the city.

Beyond the palm trees and crashing waves, Pattaya reveals another side, subtle contrasts that are often difficult to process. In open-air bars and along shopping streets, I observed ageing foreign retirees. Many of them were in the twilight of their lives, often accompanied by women young enough to be their granddaughters. At first, I assumed these relationships were familial—perhaps grandfathers with their granddaughters or family friends. However, soon, I noticed the playful touches, flirtatious tones, and suggestive body language that suggested something beyond just family ties.

In malls, I watched as the women confidently led the way—selecting clothes, placing restaurant orders, engaging shopkeepers—while the men sat quietly, often detached. Yet when the bill arrived, the men instinctively reached for their wallets. This rhythm played out again and again: women in control of the experience, men the quiet financiers behind the scenes.

Sometimes, I felt a twinge of sadness watching them. Especially when the women walked ahead, chatting on their phones or laughing with friends, while the men struggled to keep up, often breathless, but trying. I couldn’t help but wonder: What happened to the original families of these men? Do they feel abandoned? Liberated? Reborn? Replaced?

But who was I to judge?

I, too, live a life that defies assumptions. I am a Nigerian woman, married to an American man 17 years older than I am. My husband and I have seen the looks, heard the whispers, and faced the judgments of strangers who thought they understood our story at a glance.

So in Pattaya, I observed not to condemn, but to understand. The famed “Pattaya ladies” no longer became a mystery to me. They are resourceful, navigating a complex world with limited options and unlimited determination. They were sharp and emotionally intelligent, able to read people quickly and respond with precision, whether for survival, success, or a sincere connection. They knew exactly how to make the foreign retirees feel welcome in Pattaya. They knew Pattaya is not just a city, but a finely tuned ecosystem where beauty, wit, and adaptability are currency.

Walking Street

And then there is Walking Street, the beating heart of Pattaya’s nightlife. By day, the street is quiet. But when the sun sets, Walking Street morphs into a neon jungle of loud music, dance, food, temptation, live sex shows and sensory overload.

When I walked down that neon-lit stretch with my friend Sophie, I felt like I had stepped into an alternate reality. Music with pulsing beats blasted from every direction, live bands and karaoke echoed from open doors. Bars glowed in deep reds and electric blues. Girls in sequined outfits lined the sidewalks, calling out with confidence and practised charm. Some offered a cheerful hello while others declared that sex was on offer. The environment was chaotic and dazzling at the same time. This was… jarring.

I had no clue such a world existed. Where I come from, sex is sacred. Where I come from, body parts are covered and desire is hidden behind closed doors or spoken about in hushed tones, if at all. What we read about when no one is watching or talk about only in whispers was on open display on the streets of Walking Street.

I was disoriented. Women moved with practised sensuality, men lounged with drinks in hand, smoking. They were watching the ladies and making their choices. My friend Sophie and I had to pretend we were a couple. We held hands and occasionally hugged each other to ward off unsolicited advances towards us from both men and women. Even then, men still approached us for the unthinkable.

As a woman, I felt torn between cultural disbelief and human empathy. I attempted to understand. But understanding Walking Street was not easy. I was forced to sit with contradictions—desire and dignity, fantasy and survival, choice and necessity. You cannot say you have experienced Pattaya without walking through that street at least once. I did. And that walk left something inside me wide awake. I am still processing.

I found moments of stillness in Pattaya. Watching the waves roll in from the Gulf, chatting with locals in quieter alleyways, or just soaking in a sunset that seemed to pause time became my favourite pastimes.

As I wait at Pattaya North Station for my bus to Hua Hin, I feel a familiar blend of gratitude and goodbye. Pattaya was never on my original itinerary, but sometimes, the best parts of a journey are the detours. I came looking for a ferry and found a whirlwind of culture, nightlife, and raw, unfiltered energy instead. Pattaya challenged my perceptions, reminded me that understanding does not always come easily, and confirmed once again that detours are where life often reveals its truest colours.

Next stop: Hua Hin.