I came, I spun, I wrote

This is an account of my first experience at Spin class. I thought I would share it because well…remembering it makes me laugh. But also to encourage anyone who is considering trying something new and quite frankly is scared that they won’t be able to cut it. Just get on that bike and do it. Life is not going to get any easier, so you have to get stronger!

I hope sharing this account of my first time in spin class will make you laugh, think and get on with the business of living life the best way you can!

In an attempt to spin my thighs into submission…I went to Spin class…in case you are wondering what exactly that is, well it is a stationary bike class on crack…crazy crack. Cheap, crazy, wack crack.

First off prayer works! At my gym, spin class is the hot ticket class. People get there an hour early, wait in line to sign up and then once the door opens, they rush into class to get the best bike…I being a novice, didn’t know it was that serious, so I got there a half hour early for the first class and found out the class was full. So the next time, I got there quite early and I got in. Secondly, the seats on the bike suck, they are so hard and your bum is bound to hurt but some smart folks get a gel cushion and it helps…somewhat. That day, the instructor Sudy took a liking to me and decided to give me hers…yep…prayer baby!

Anyway here is a breakdown about how it went.

445pm: Ok, these people are serious! People were mean mugging about their bike O! I made the mistake of approaching a taken bike and I was snarled at, chai! Fortunately I found a bike near the door, (in case I needed a quick escape!)

455pm: Sudy, the perky blond instructor, gave me her gel seat, and showed me how to position my bike, she was pretty cool even though after she found out I was Nigerian, she felt the need to share the fact that she had a brother from Tanzania, well not really, he was an exchange student, who felt like a brother whose name was cool like mine. (really Sudy?) Well anyway smile and nod! She was just relating and it was all good.

5pm: Class starts. And it is no joke, almost as soon as my thighs start a whirling, sweat starts to form in the middle of my back.

5:05pm: I get a wedgie.

5:06pm: I attempt to remove said wedgie gracefully.

5:07pm: Didn’t succeed, as evidenced by raised eyebrows of my neighbor…Whatcha looking at! Eyes forward my friend.

5:12pm: Instructor “Come on guys, you should be at 110rpm, it is supposed to hurt”

5:15pm: First newcomer gets off bike, with attitude like “Y’all can keep this s**t!

5:20pm: I am actually keeping up, but I am calling on Jesus!

5:25pm: I am reciting, I can do all things through Christ!’

5:26pm: Another wedgie

5:30pm: I start doing Lamaze breathing “Hee, Hee, Hee, Hoo, hoo hoo” again my neighbor looks at me funny!

5:32pm: Sudy gives me the thumbs up. I would return it but I am spinning for dear life.

5:35pm: Sweating buckets but determined to finish and guess what another wedgie!

5:36pm: Shoot, I decided to be one with the wedgie.

5:37pm: Pull out the wedgie and glare at the clock. What is wrong with you! Time should move already!

5:40pm: Sudy, gets off bike and comes over to high five me!

5:40pm and 15secs: I contemplate slapping her.

5:40pm and 30secs: I don’t, but my sweaty palm smacks her sweaty palm.

5:41pm: Sudy is cool peeps.

5:42pm: No she’s not, talking about “ATTACK!” which is when everyone starts cycling at some crazy speed and at high resistance.

5:43pm: I join in.

5:44pm: I conclude that she must mean Attacked instead of attack because I feel like I have come out of a battle.

5:47pm: Heavy metal music comes into rotation.

5:48pm: Suddenly I see myself with a painted face and an electric guitar…Don’t judge…it’s better than seeing my pained expression in the mirror.

5:50pm: Almost there.

5:51pm: Sudy is once more trying me, talking about finish strong!

5:52pm: I am actually feeling alright, thighs are flying, I am stronger than I thought!

5:54pm: Aww yeah, Prince comes into rotation, his voice coming through the speaker gets me through the next ATTACK!

5:56pm: I. AM. A. ROCKSTAR!

5:57pm: I dare anyone to disagree.

5:59pm: Finally we get ready to cool down. I feel like I should take a bow.

6pm: Stretch.

6:05pm: I strut out of the spin room, sweat drenched and I do mean drenched, but I am walking like I am the baddest chick. Like what! WHAT!
Here is the most important thing I learned from spin class. Sometimes you just have to get out of your comfort zone and rock your life! Sometimes you just have to be willing to look crazy and stupid to better yourself. Sometimes you have to suffer to shine.

Prologue

Today’s  update

I am still spinning.

  1. My yansh is now calcified. Seriously. I no longer feel the pain of the seat. Chai.
  2. My body still sweats like a faucet was turned on.
  3. I thought the instructor Sudy was tough…well I hadn’t met Bridget who also teaches Kickboxing and is right now, well as of yesterday less than three weeks away from her due date and still talking about “push yourself! Are you nauseous yet?” Shoot, I was having contractions for her!
  4. And of course can’t forget the old mackdaddy with blond hair and possibly dentures?(Teeth are just too straight!) who is still clubbing it every weekend (he’s at least 60) and who’s music is heavy on 50cent, Nelly and Beyonce….rock on brother!

Well, I am still on my journey, not yet at my destination but enjoying the process…trying to get somewhere and be somebody! Who’s with me?!

Be well y’all

And come by and see me at Bogobiri house, in Ikoyi on Dec 12th at 3pm.

I will be doing a reading from my new inspirational book, Can I be real! which will be released Jan 2011, but I will have some advance copies on hand.

Hope to see you there!

16 Comments on I came, I spun, I wrote
  • Tosin November 22, 2010 at 10:48 am

    I have been once and sad to say I never went back. Your article truly captures d madness that is spinning! I didn’t know I could sweat and be in so much pain and not die-like really! Lol

    All the best with the new book.

    Regards
    Tosin
    http://www.tonibonoj.wordpress.com

  • hoooooney! November 22, 2010 at 11:03 am

    First!

  • Yemikush November 22, 2010 at 11:34 am

    1st

  • Naijamum November 22, 2010 at 11:54 am

    LOL truly funny.
    I recall going to gym after my last baby and getting really competitive at the rowing machine.
    I would be rowing slowly and some blonde ‘challenger’ would stroll to the machine beside me and give me a ‘lookover’ as if….what is he doing here?
    Needless to say, I always made sure I stayed on longer than they did – even if I paid for it after!
    Sometimes I got to my car and literally could not start the car because my biceps were aching sooo much. However, watching my ‘challengers’ stagger away after ‘admitting defeat’ was so worth the pain! *laugh*

  • NneSomebody November 22, 2010 at 12:44 pm

    I love Ekene Onu, only she could have made the madness of spin class seem, well, madder. Looking forward to meeting her in the flesh. All you ultra-competitive, fitness freaks, you are on a long thing. LOL!

  • glory edozien November 22, 2010 at 1:05 pm

    OMG! I laughed so hard while reading this. My own spin story is similar…except unlike you, i chose to admit defeat within the first 10minutes! Alas…i am a rockstar on the cross trainner…and no where else!

  • Moigal November 22, 2010 at 4:08 pm

    whats with this “first to comment” thing? is there now an award for it eh BN??

  • Molicious November 22, 2010 at 8:43 pm

    Lmao, that’s too funny… Spin classes are unreal. Kudos on sticking with the work out tho’, does get better once you give it a chance.

  • deedee November 22, 2010 at 9:15 pm

    utterly hilarious, rotflmao!

  • Ave10 November 22, 2010 at 10:37 pm

    lol! hilarious..totally captures what goes on in there..been to one class and i couldnt walk for days..lmao..In my case, when the instructor found out i was doing d class for d first time, she gave me a bike right in front of d class..mortifying.!lol..all in all..those bikes are so difficult to turn …my whole life flashed before my eyes… never went back tho..

  • mpb November 23, 2010 at 3:07 am

    Men…I once took a spin class and got off after 10 minutes too. The butt pain was insane! Loved your first book! ciao.

  • Ready November 23, 2010 at 7:41 am

    Lol…my first spin class was at 6 in the morning and had to settle for the bike nobody wanted. I lasted 45 minutes until I had to go and throw up and lie down in the 3rd floor hallway of my school gym. I survived long enough to go to yoga class at 7 a.m. though…I love yoga.
    I decided to try again with another instructor but lasted 10 minutes and came to the conclusion that I like my heartrate at a lower level. Thanks, but no thanks.

  • fokasibe November 23, 2010 at 8:10 am

    I don’t get the spinning thing…Hmm.. but come Dec 12th at 3pm, I will be at Bogobiri House! Cheers and Good luck!

  • Wabizz November 24, 2010 at 4:30 pm

    Oh my! I love spin!! It is super effective as well.. Was a regular in my old gym but I have since moved locations and I miss it like crazy …

    Good on you that you kept with it! Sometimes you feel like you are literally going to pass out! Does anyone know what a “spin class” is called in French?

  • Dami J November 27, 2010 at 11:26 am

    oh my! I went once with a friend at uni, to be honest I had no idea what it was.. I got there and Icouldn’t leave! lol after 10 minutes I was sweating like.. i don’t know what… and then I stopped but the instructor was sympathetic cos he knew it was my first time… but i never went back! I call it tortue!!! lol

  • k.jay October 21, 2011 at 6:27 pm

    I spin every saturday for 3hours+ and I know exactly what she’s talking abt. lovely write.

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