Diary of a Mad Single Nigerian Woman
Posted on Monday, August 8th, 2011 at 1:18 PMBy Glory Edozien
There is a general misconception that every single woman is praying day and night, for a spouse. This is incorrect. Personally, I find myself praying more about my career and bank account balance than I do about a potential life partner.
This isn’t an article about how I don’t need a man or how men aren’t important. Truth be told, men are important and marriage, when done properly, can be a wonderful thing. But I have come to the realization that marriage is a part of life and not life itself. I came to this realization a few years ago. There I was, 27, single and heart broken over another failed relationship when the thought hit me. “Glory, what if God, has decided that you won’t get married for another 5 years? Are you really going to spend the next 5 years of your life, throwing pity parties and wondering if the next guy, who says ‘hello’ is the one? Surely, there has to be something more fulfilling to do with your time”. There and then I made my decision to focus on things that were within my control. i.e. finishing graduate school, my career, focusing on building my character and other aspects of life.
It’s amazing what such an outlook does to your mind set. It’s utterly liberating. I no longer wonder if the guy I met last week Saturday, is going propose in 6 months. I don’t spend my free time idly browsing through wedding dresses while sighing hopelessly and I find my emotions so at peace that I am able to be absolutely happy for all my friends who are currently in fabulous relationships, engaged or married. Unfortunately those around me are not so liberated in their own thinking.
A few weeks ago, a friend of a colleague came to the office, sporting a baby bump. I congratulated her on her upcoming bundle of joy and new marriage. Only to find her praying for me and advising me to be patient, “that my time would soon come”. I thought it strange that someone who barely knew me would think that my congratulatory messages somehow masked any form of envy for her situation. I mentioned this to my colleague later in the day and she admitted she felt awkward about it too but mentioned that she had done similar to a single friend of theirs earlier.
I’d have put her actions down to pregnancy hormones, if I hadn’t experienced various versions of this ‘single woman needs a man’ attitude in various aspects of society. A friend of mine, recently, went to speak to her pastor about some challenges she was facing at work. After 30minutes of speaking with him, she left without discussing her problem. Why? Because the pastor had decided the bigger issue, was her unmarried status and began to pray about that instead. Another friend of mine complained to me about how her married friends completely cut her out of social activities because she always had a different date and their husbands think she is a ‘bad influence’.
Single men are also not excluded from this new form of single women xenophobia. For some reason, men think, hinting at the prospect of marriage is sufficient to keep any single women under lock and key. Recently, a guy who I had decided not to date told me he didn’t understand my reason for being unnecessarily picky. Apparently, my age didn’t afford me the luxury of time and since he had already told me he was willing to propose, in a few months, he didn’t see why I was being hesitant. Clearly, he had me mistaken for someone who actually gave a damn.
With these various attitudes, it’s no wonder some single women find life frustrating. Sometimes, I wonder if we actually want to get married because we’ve found the right person or because society wont leave us alone. You’d think with all the stories of divorce, people would be a little more careful before they said their ‘I do’s’. On the contrary, our society has made marriage into this utopia that is the answer to all things. Whereas, life itself still continues after marriage. The woman you are, your career, your values, education, financial status and character are still ingredients you need to make life pleasant after marriage.
I see getting married, like the days after secondary school when everyone was anxiously waiting to enter university. Some of my friends traveled immediately after the final secondary schools exams, while I waited to write JAMB. Those days, conversations were filled with who got what result, what school they got accepted into and what they were studying. Some people had to repeat various exams just to enter their preferred universities. Today, no one remembers any of that because we are all at enviable levels in our respective careers. The same is true about marriage, one day, in a few years time, no one will care who got married first or who got married last.
I think accepting being single is a big step in accepting who you are and giving yourself room to enjoy life and all it holds, instead of constantly concentrating on what’s missing. Most guys can spot a woman fishing for a proposal a mile away and will use that as a tool to play you as they see fit. But when you are a confident woman, who is about her business, you wouldn’t have time for any time wasters and only the truly serious men will be able to get your attention. The sooner everyone admits that there is more to life than being married, the sooner we single ladies can have some peace. We will all get married at some point, but in the meantime there are other things to get on with. There are places to visit, new people to meet, promotions to fill and money to be made! So please, the next time the urge takes you to pray about my single status, kindly include my need for a bigger account balance in such prayers. Many thanks!
Photo Credit: live.drjays.com
On point
finally a woman hits d nail on d head! Men r hunters,d smell desperados 4m a mile away. Ur time cant pass u by,but u have 2 prepared 4 it wen it meets you…
women re d same too,which of u can marry a guy who is got no dame at d moment?none u c so zip ur .
sooooo true
Soooo on point it could bust a hole in Kevlar! I love the angle of this…true, the average girl wants to get married young et al., but if it aint happening, don’t sweat it. Pray hard, but don’t get desperate – concentrate that energy on things which you can change! To everything its season…
Word! without ever thinking of it this way i actually pray more to be able to pay my rent than for a husband!
nice one!
Single and proud!
Well written Gloria! I
Well writen piece Glory, i really enjoyed reading it because its more like my thoughts in writing,i personally believe in love and happiness,i believe in marriage and family but i also know it isnt life itself . After all said ,i also believe strongly in divorce.
LOL @ I also believe strongly in divorce! That sentence has me cracking!
#Gbam
This is such a wonderful piece and it echoes a lot of the stuff i’ve thought about and the decisions I’ve made concerning my life. I made the exact same decision a couple of years ago to focus on the things I could change, like my education and career, and just work on having a full and rich life regardless of my marital status. The thing that still rankles are the people who give you pitying glances and seem to have come to the conclusion that you must spend your nights crying yourself to sleep just because you happen to be over 30 and single. I just try to ignore people like that and stay away from them as much as possible.
Forget all those kind of people oh because if God forbid you marry a Mr Available that ain’t worth it when the trouble starts they will be sleeping peacefully in their beds while you are tossing and turning in yours.With marriage its not about” how fast” its about “how well”
Bose, I so love your comment, you spoke my mind.
love dis articule keep it up.
but in the meantime there are other things to get on with. There are places to visit, new people to meet, promotions to fill and money to be made! love this quote girl!!! my BFF just sent a msg talking about how i need a boyfriend today coz she is enjoying marriage and wants me to have the same. i know she loves me and means well. but friends and family need to realize that some of us want more than just that, so we’re working on the “more” till the Lover comes. maybe that more is what will attract him sef.
I feel you so much… it is so annoying when people look at you and think there is something to fix coz you do not have a boyfriend; it is as if you have higher bank interests if you had one. I hear it from every friend who gets engaged “do not worry God would do yours…” Like Gloria i do not down play having a boyfriend or finding love i just feel after spending millions on a degree i deserve a fat account and a few steps up the career ladder, no harm done and can we just be happy doing this without some father, mother, sister, brother, cousin, auntie, uncle and yes FRIEND not pouting and begging God to brew up a knight in shining armour
God bless you love!!! am currently dating a guy who got attracted because of the more value i added to my self while waiting….you are so on point!!!!!!…..
Wow, tis is a nce piece, i think evry lady should read it….it makes serious sense…Kudos Gloria.
nice!!!
Sad but true. Our society really defines most things in life.
Thanks Glory!!! Love love love it….
I cant decide if this is actually true or ‘just something you tell yourself to feel better’. It does make sense to concentrate on other things we can control. I’m 24 and single and I’m made to feel like I’m an unwed 40 year old. My good friends in ‘fabulous’ relationships say its not my fault but i still feel its more of pity and it makes me sick to my stomach. Lesson learned: Dont give a damn anymore (Ok maybe a little less damn than I used to)
Well said and well written.
i see nothing wrong in praying for a good husband
well said Ify!
I see nothing wrong with that too, but if you make that the only point in your prayers ,then sorry
thank you Glory
word…to the word…to the serious word..excuse my misyarnings but this article is so true it seems like glori’s pen just jumped out of my thoughts and materialized into this article…i am a bit bummed though wanted to blog about this myself but it’s a nice piece
Glory!!! At 27 going on 28, this’s my story “There is a general misconception that every single woman is praying day and night, for a spouse. This is incorrect.” My BF wants US to get married in december while: “Personally, I find myself praying more about my career and bank account balance than I do about a potential life partner – FOR NOW (yup,and the guys hate it – some form of independence).” I don’t know why people are always under pressure to get married. I think it’s about time we ladies damned the consequences of what society determines and live for ourselves. We’ve seen how our mates, seniors and juniours have fallen prey and are weeping to leave their marriages. Marriage is a good thing when involved with the right person, so is being single and happy before saying I do. I hope that we all make the right decision even though no one’s true character’s shown except you live with the person as a spouse.
well said, I couldn’t agree more!
@ify there is nothing wrong with praying for a good husband, so long as you allow God answer your prayer instead of searching for a husband like a hunter hunting prey, God knows your heart, therefore it is more appropriate to work on yourself and career so that when the Husband comes he comes in to meet a partner and not some dependent half crazed desperate woman who sees every man who says Hi to her as a potential husband, to be happy you have to discover who you are first.
Ain’t that the truth. It is important to me so i pray about it. My i won’t put my life on pause because of that. That would mean i don’t have faith in God’s grace.
wooow, you nailed it!
good one!
this is so so true!! i recently turned down a proposal , cos i had to be real to myself , i have alot to accomplish in life than a guy think am in a relationship cos am desperate to get married or sumtin, i need HAPPINESS , and its a pity it doesnt always come wit being married , (well for some it does) but for me , i think i have some things to accomplish before getting married … so marriage right now is on my waiting list.. MONEY making on my mind right now
well it all sums up to one thing also… God makes things beautiful in His time .. so am chilling for the right time for every
Nice article! I am married and I sometimes envy singletons who can arrange a weekend away without having to worry about childcare or tow children along. Singletons can focus on career easily without having to bother about Junior and his dad.
The book of Ecclesiastes in the bible says there is a Time for everything. So while you are single, build yourself, which is also applicable to when you are married. Life is a journey with different stages which should be enjoyed. I must confess that its much easier when you are single.
I’m married as well and I definitely agree with everything you just said. we should learn to celebrate and fully enjoy every stage of life we find ourselves in. There is indeed a time for everything.
Glory Edozien MARRY ME! Yes, I am a girl and no, I am not gay. But you are the TRUTH walahi! I’m printing this out and framing it to show everyone!
well said! only the serious men would get your attention when you are occupied.
Amen my sister. It is time single women start enjoying life. A friend once told me her mother told her that men are thieves, they will haunt you till the end of the world if they know you got yourself together.
Rightly said, the world is huge, u need to do all you can do, develop your confidence, be very very happy with yourself and they will chase you like their lives depends on it.
value 4 my time Glory!
While I agree with the author, I still get the sense that she is saying praying for a husband is wrong. There is nothing wrong in wanting a loving relationship. Having a healthy concern about your love life is not being desperate.
Why is it ok to pray for a career but not for a life partner that, God willing, will be with you for life? I feel that people are always trying to downplay the importance of seeking or longing for a good partner. Praying over a job or for an acceptance into a good school is not seen as desperate, yet longing for a life partner (who will be there after you have retired from your job and finished school) is painted as wrong. I just don’t get it.
The same enthusiasm that you have for your career aspirations should also be applied to your love life. It by no means makes you desperate. You become desperate when your longing for that love prevents you from making wise decisions regarding your personal and professional life.
she didt say that…..what she said was that instead of seeing every relationship u ve with the opposite sex would lead to marraige …y dont we just sit down and channel our energy into other things………than building our lives on wat the society wants us to do.we are to listen to God and wait patiently….not turning to testing testing tools at the hands of men.
Uhm i really don’t think thats what she said. My overall message from this was, don’t wait for society or your marital status to define you as a person. Go ahead and keep living. Sometimes we women get so stuck on the idea of finding that man that will marry us, so much so we are willing to give up everything including our identity, our goals in live for finding that man. Even if the man is not worthy, just so we can say we married someone. She said remove that element of desperation, don’t think that every tom dick and harry that says “Hello” automatically wants to marry you.
well said Missy B
Well said Missy B…i totally agree with you, why pray desperately for money and career when the important thing (Marriage) u down play. I am not married neither do i have children but i pray constant like for a perfect husband /children….remember no matter how u pray for money, if you have all the wealth in the world and u later married to a stupid husband that doesn’t know how to manage money, that just spends and spends trust me the whole money will go (Personal experience with my aunty) also, if you have a man that frustrates u day and night, trust me u wouldn’t be able to concentrate on ur so called perfect career……..don’t forget the poor girl that was killed recently by her husband. i for one think we all need to pray day and night without season for a husband.
Please don’t let us down play it, due to the fact that the world think we are desperate. Marriage is for life, who we marry also determines how our future will be.
Pls prayyyyyyyyyyy. And while we wait and pray, let us work on our relation with God and ourselves (character wise)
there is quote ma Godmother says anytime i tell her im looking for a husband…. she says *God forbids a bad thing*.. u wont look for husband but ur husband will look for u. well said Glory…. we the single ones would get good husbands wen the time is right, but instead of focusing on dat. focus on other things and not run yourself mad
@Kemmy, God bless your godmother for those words. We ladies smetimes fail to realize that when we resort to ‘looking for a husband’, it reverses what God originally intended wooing to be…
Truthfully, Marriage is part of the big picture. Not the entire picture in itself. And if you’re lucky, you’ll find someone who encourages you to live your dream even while married. Because another misconception is that once you get married, your life is over. I believe in striking a balance… And as always, we all have different destinies and priorities in life. Choosing one over another doesn’t mean you have it better than others.
Thanks for this post, the general idea that most people have is that once you are married…
1. Life is over – your life now revolves around the man
2. You can’t hang with you single friends anymore. I think the single friends actually want to stay away because they assume that is what you want.
3. That you can’t strongly pursue your career dreams anymore
4. That you should have children right away.
I personally think one is very lucky if they find a partner that is willing to support them through all their goals and life dreams. Please stay single if you don’t have a man like that. For those looking to marry, life is good when marriage is good and life is horrible when marriage is horrible. Forget the wedding day, what counts is what happens when that day is over and reality sets in. Please pick your partners wisely.
great article and as a guy, i wish all girls had this attitude.
I am so loving this.. You just bared my mind
Praying for a good husband is completely different from running around town looking for a man.
Praying for a good husband is a life time prayer that should start very early but then after praying, do not cheapen yourself by running around like a desperate chicken looking for water. Focus on your being the best you can be and let God answer your prayers.
babe you said it all. ladies relax and God willing it will happen.
This is Why I love Glory! Nice Article. Can you please call my MOM and talk to her? she is literally harassing me to get married and is about to start a prayer group for me.
myHairmyBeauty.wordpress.com
looooool! All mothers are this way. Don’t let it bother you so much hehehe
seriously on point!!! thot i was the only 28 praying towards career and a fat bank account. it’s so bad cuz everyone wants to match me with a guy and when i end up laughing they find it strange!!!
Thank u Gloria! Tell “them” pluezzz!
Great article!..I just recently made the decision to stop looking and just do the things that I’ve always wanted to do.
i totally agree with you, i guess all these is cos of our tradition and morals. civilization has set in so people should learn to grow with it.
its like if u were talkly directly @ me…..6months proposal expectation!…..thank u…am gonna change my attitude and put more energy towards building my career……
Word!!!! Am a single guy and i can still relate.
Stay true to yourself my dear! Nice one!!!
Not sure about the whole ‘men will chase you to the end of the earth when you are successful’ story. Told myself that for the longest while and I am now seriously doubting that hypothesis. Most guys like low hanging fruit, needy types and types that can be controlled. Strong independent women scare them. That said I beleive there are guys who are worth being with out there and who’ll see the value in a woman who knows herself, is independent and confident – they are just pretty hard to find (especially in this Lagos!). In the mean time agree with Ms Edozien – focus on the factors within your control and enjoy your life!
Actually, I agree with the author… the only problem is that I dont actually believe her. To me it reads as though she is satisfied to ‘get on’ with her life accepting her lot as a late runner who will eventually reach the finish line too…cf “We’ll ‘all get married one day.” in other words marriage is still one of those life achievements she feels she must reach to feel complete. I am not saying this is a bad thing but really,some women have no desire to be married at all. Otherwise an interesting read! X
Yup, yup….like me! I have sincerely no desire to get married. I honestly think I will become very depressed if I go into marraige because I enjoy my own company more than anyone else’s. People generally speaking bore me quite easily and I don’t like talking much when I am at home. My privacy and freedom to make choices over MY life is also important to me and I feel all that will disappear once married. Besides, I don’t trust people that much.
Great! It’s so important to know thineself… Please never be pressured to marry until your perspective changes.
Exactly!
Also…….pls never lead a guy on who gets into a relationship with you looking for a life partner. Let him know you never wanna get married early
This is so true Gloria. It makes no sense putting one’s life on hold till the man comes. I keep telling my father this but he has refused to see my point. I love this piece, it’s really encouraging.
I noticed a lot of your post talk about relationships but this write up is the first one that i completely agree with.
I love the quote “life itself still continues after marriage”, for me marriage is a continum of life itself, married or not life will go one.
My second favourite quote “The same is true about marriage, one day, in a few years time, no one will care who got married first or who got married last”. That is exactly what i tell my friends. In ten years time it will not matter who married first, what will matter is who is not only still married but has a happy marriage. Lovely writting Glory.
http://thecolourcouture.wordpress.com/
On point!
Loves it!
Yes marriage is not the only priority in life. However, any single woman who wishes to get a spouse can pray 4 that intention not because society is imposing it on her. society must not dictate for you since u are responsible for your actions and u must be the master of ur choices in life. U can remain indifferent to societal pressures and live ur life.
well spoken, Gloria!
well said…
Love it! good piece
“DESPERADOS”…read this and be happy.
on point!!!!!!!!!!! My exact thots
great girl. This applies to both single and married. Life doesn’t end in marriage and definitely didn’t start there. Love is a feeling to be learned if you ask me. Make your choices because you have the right reasons to do so, not because others are doing so and you are expected to do the same.
God bless you Glory.You said it all.
good write up glory. Life is about understanding what makes you tick, and making the best of ur God given gifts and talents.
I LOVEEEEEEEEEEEE THIS. THANKS GLORY FOR SPEAKING OUR MIND.
Pls,move on wit ur descision.By the time u’re 40 u’ll realize…Career Woman
Realize what? Not every woman wants to get married. Besides, those who get married become single again (with baggage) once the man dies and you don’t need me to tell you that the average Naija man does not live long anyway. Most die before they even reach 60 years old and then the women will be left to fend for the kids all alone since society equally discriminates against widows! Lastly, when it comes to children, one can birth them biologically without having to be married while at the same time staying ontop of one’s career (Omawumi the singer who just gave birth to her baby gurl in the U.S comes to mind). Nowadays, most Naija men are not goal getters anyway and are broke like a stroke except for the ones who are into occultic practices and fraud. So, being married to one is generally speaking a MINUS and not a PLUS. So nothing dey happen! Peace!
I like the realness but you seem a little over the top and a little angry with Naija Men. I can guess u don’t plan on marrying one, but your culture forbids you
welll said hairaytai
I see getting married, like the days after secondary school when everyone was anxiously waiting to enter university. Some of my friends traveled immediately after the final secondary schools exams, while I waited to write JAMB. Those days, conversations were filled with who got what result, what school they got accepted into and what they were studying. Some people had to repeat various exams just to enter their preferred universities. Today, no one remembers any of that because we are all at enviable levels in our respective careers. The same is true about marriage, one day, in a few years time, no one will care who got married first or who got married last…
This is the GBAM!!! GBOSA!! WHOA!! part of the article…I love this outlook…Bravo!!!
I told you,that wat u say u wana be is wat u r gonna be wiv wrte ups like this.
Kudos dear
*big hug*
Glory, you are absolutely brilliant. (gets chills all over body)
I so totally agree with you. You put my thoughts on paper so perfectly. So tired of people I don’t really know being presumptious enough to offer advice on how and where to find men and to stop being ‘picky’. Psschew. I want to get married someday but till then, I shall be making the most of my time and my life.
Bless u Glory!!i actually had to print this and beg a guy in my office to read. This colleague would just not let me be when i was single in my late 20′s. he just didnt understand why i should be so opinionated about work related issues and not be concerned about being married like my mates. i refused to be pushed until i met the right person and decided he was IT! Some people just dont want to understand that, women of this generation are quite different from that of our Mothers. Some ladies genuinely dont want to be married and others are refusing to give desperation a place in their single lives. whats wrong with that? Marriage isnt every thing!!
Hi Glory
This is one very remarkable piece, I grew up in a polygamous home and was made to believe that the be and all of a woman is a man. But as the years went buy I saw how my father shattered my mother’s dream by going behind her back to marry another woman. It is over 24 years now it happened and my mother spent all these years bitter, unhappy and wondering what happened to her life,he made life hell for her, she for him too, for a long time it was as if they were both out to kill each other and we the children of the marraige it was hell on earth for us,she is yet to recover.
So in essence what am trying to say is this, in the bible St Paul said that marraige is a choice and besides is not being married is a sin? I have a very close friend she has been working in a one man business enterprise for like 14 years now and she just sat there not building her self or improving her lot but waiting for a man to come marry her and give her a better life.As of last week with the recession she has not been paid 4 months salary or something like that.
I am single and extremely talented, and just realized about 2 years ago that for God’s goodness sake this is mylife and I have only once to live it.I have decided that I will never be influnced or swayed by people’s opinion. When I was younger two men proposed to me at different time of my life one was semi literate and loaded, well he never respected the fact that I wanted to be well read and independent and always demanded I leave school any time he beckoned, I made him realise that I was not his maid or house girl, we had an argument at a time and he called me a whore. My dear, I took off and the second one was very educated, exposed and loaded but he was an out right control freak and was so narccist that he expected me to be fawning over him every time it seemed as if he wanted me to be worshipping him and he was insulting me and accusing me of sleeping with men. I just sat down turned down all these insecure narrow minded men.
I fought very hard to come to Lagos and be independent am not scared to show my intelligence, an older woman friend advised me once to pretend to be a little bit dumb. Am never quick to give an opinion about most things but a lot of men come up to me and tell me stupid stuff and expect me to be stupid enough to believe them. Am not aggresive by nature but I will never tolerate insult or any one trying to belittle me.
I love my life and Glory I agree wih you, romantic marraige has been one of the biggest lies of our century, so I believe any single out there should be focused, learn to build your self and don’t forget one thing. No man or woman or child will ever fill any body only Christ/God can but please have a life and get on with living it.
If you spend the whole of the next 20 years worrying about man, man, man my sisters you have spent 20 years enduring life not emjoying it. My God I will not waste any one more second worrying about what I can’t control but actually living this life.
I am not a desperate person by nature so a lot of these confused man men meet me and expect me to start cooking for them at a drop of a hat, or even let them sleep in my house, the truth is that I don’t know how to do desperate, period. Being independent does not mean you are not submissive but the truth is that in our society a man can treat you like shit when he knows you are solely dependent on him because by the end of the day you are just a sitting duck if you are a woman in that situation.
And there is always a plan B.
sweetheart nothing do u!!!…truth is we shud spend time building ourselves ladies especially…..add worth to urself and have a very healthy dose of self esteem….and u know what Alexis…u did well to turn down those two men cos a man of real worth will value ur beauty worth and intelligence and will infact marry you for it, encourage you and give you freedom to live your dreams…that the sort of man worth waiting for and pls let no one tell me they dont exist cos God got me one…yeah thats right!
I LOVE THIS! Great article. I think a big take-away is that neediness is unnatractive. No one wants a woman who is desperate to get married, men will use that to their advantage and treat you like shit. Have your own life, be happy and confident. He will come, and if he doesn’t, oh well.
true talk!…desperation is like fear…same way dogs sniff out fear same way men sniff out desperation….neither ends well!
Brilliant piece Glory…you took those words right out of my mouth.I believe in love as much as I do I believe there’s time for everything……am single and proud,being single @ 30 has opened my pulse to so many things,like re-discovering myself and makin myself a better person,acquiring new skills and seeing life in a different light all of these ingredients and more add up to being positive abt one’s self and also attracting the alpha male,lol.Thumbs up Glory…keep articles like this coming.Cheers
Excellent article Glory! I always look forward to reading your articles because they air my views and sentiments exactly. I don’t even know why people make so much noise about marraige especially Nigerian marraiges. Most of the married Naija women I see look horrible and stressed out. The men don’t seem to care about helping with child raising so then what is the point of getting married if the man is just going to sit there like a trophy? Another problem I see in Naija marraiges are high rates of infidelity and spousal abuse. In this day and age, its not advisable to be with someone who has no self control. AIDS is real and does not discriminate!
for a moment i tot i was d one who wrote d article so factual!
All the desperate women are coming out. Na lie una talk. You still need us.
Ha! This is SO on point, man! I know I’m quite young for this, but at 22 going on 23…People are already asking me if I have someone..u know that special someone! I’m like are you guys on cheap crack?? Like seriously? I’m still focusing on how to finish my undergrad and on to Med school..and you are here blabbing crap! Really?! My aunty is like you better start looking now, so it won’t be too late when that time comes. Sometimes, I let it get to me…since everyone of my friends are always dating someone. Oh well, I have not started dating yet..and I don’t intend to make it my priority now! Damn! There are so many things in life that need my utmost attention, for Pete’s sake! Bella, thanks for this article!
I am also in my early twenties, and i so hate those annoying questions. I am already getting hints from people around me and i am like – i am still a freaking baby for “pete’s sake”. I don’t even get the whole concept of marriage, get shackled to a man and live in a house, have babies, then what? your whole life is surrounded and limited to your family. what is that? sometimes you are just considered as a baby machine (two kids are not enough for them) sounds like a boring routine; and then combined with all the unpleasant and scary marriage stories, divorce, cheating, domestic violence – that leaves no desire to join the bandwagon. Nigerians make it seem like marriage is the be all end all when most of them are not even happy in it. When i think of marriage all i see is restriction, stress, tolerating bull crap from one human being, annoyance sometimes regret and resentments. I will need to understand the concept, need, essence, importance of getting married cause i really don’t know. the only people that still make me believe in marriage is my parents (i think they have a wonderful relationship) and God (because God makes everything beautiful). Maybe when i am a little older, i will have a different view and perspective but as of this moment, give me a break with that!
MY FEELINGS EXACTLY!!!!!!! GIRL, YOU ARE ON POINT! I don’t really get marriage for now! Maybe I will..but for now..uhmmm..NOPE!
NICE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!DATS ALL I CAN SAY……………………
Thanx for this post. i think most of us singles r driven by pressure from family and friends.
Marriage is either heaven or hell. i dont see too many heavens out there, s o why rush into it? Am 28 and life has just begun for me! y will i wallow in self pity and wait for the husband, while my life wastes away? My advise is ‘live ur life’. everything happens at the appointed time. No amount of hustling will make anything quicker. Na God get everything
Glory, i can sooo connect with this. I pray about my career all the time and i actually started feeling guilty about praying for my career instead of my husband, so i’d throw in a line or 2 at the end of my looong conversation with God about work. Thanks for freeing me o jare!
Love it
Glory rocks joor…..no doubt!!
Good stuff Gloria, you’re still in your 20s, imagine what ladies in their mid thirties face? Even the whole family have taken to an ‘occassional 30 days fasting’
)
I like most parts of the piece. I am a 37 year old single male and I can relate with this. I can’t understand why some people think you can’t be happy till you get married, when you hang with the guys as soon as you try to talk they tell you go get married first before speaking. I am happier and more accomplished and fulfilled than most of these guys. MOST married people are miserable and they envy you and want you to join their group. Just find out what married men/women talk about when they are together!
A friend of mine recently said, Blessing, we re all getting married, would like to see you get married soon ooooo, so we can all be happy. cool right. but then must I be married for everyone to be happy. abegi when its my time i will definetely get married, until then, no friend of mine should be more concerned about my status than me.
NICE ONE.I LOVE THIS!
AMEN!… And nothing else needs to be added.
i totally love this… well written!
love loretta’s comment i second dat! #thatisall
This Article is not for Single Women..This article is for women whose focus is only on Marriage.The Vibe I get from the Article is a Young Woman whose #1 focus was marriage, but didn’t succeed in getting married at the same time didn’t succeed in accomplishing their career goals because they didn’t know how to do both/ multi-task, suddenly realizes that she has been doing it all wrong, so now marriage is not so important anymore its now “finishing graduate school, my career, focusing on building my character and other aspects of life. ” Which to me is another wrong decision a woman that wants to get married could make, just for you to realize 3-5 years down the road that your priorities were screwed. (Then another article gets written about how not to focus on Career and lose out on your Life partner
)
I think the Article is good and its a wake up call for women to learn and focus and concentrate on how to Balance all their goals and succeed in them.
Mr man I don’t know that balancing ‘husband finding’ and career goals is the issue here.
I think the gist of d article is that in the absence of Mr right and marriage, the author figured the right thing to do would be to carry on building her career and self (things she can control) and not throw herself a pity party, and perhaps in the process her husband (something she really has no control of) would find her.
I always say if husband matter was like grocery shopping, a lot of ladies woulda concluded that bizness a long time ago. Fortunately/unfortunately it ain’t. I don’t know any stores that sell husbands. If anyone does do not hesitate to point us in that direction
Pretty tough to succeed in something you have no control of, and it’s one of the things Naija women really cannot control. So what do we make with the lemons we got? Make lemonade, with plenty sugar sef!
A kiss, a hug and another round of applause for Glory. Nne abeg tell them o. Keep telling them till they not only hear but comprehend! Haba!
It is good to be married (if it is for u), but do not let d desire to become mrs/mr consume u! It is good to pray for husband too, it that is what u want.
One must be complete and be able to bring love and several other goodies to d marriage as well. If we’re just looking to get married to mark register then wahala dey o.
Being single is a gift and not a stigma. Even Paul said so. Let us use d gift wisely.
Just the right article i have been wishing to read. so truthful and on track, thanx Glory
Fantastic!
Right on point Gloria. Well written!!!! Still waiting for your reply though abi un a no want my article on BN?
Well said darling!! Thank you
*yawn*, na so sister glory yimu, im sorry but i don’t believe you..i feel like you have just written this to mask the fact that you are actually really wanting a husband, and this comment is not to throw stones at you in any way but really!!!!
some of the things you highlighted are quite true but i cannot agree with all of them, my sister pls marry ooh, even God says you start to really live life after marriage just make sure you are marrying his choice for you..
And if Glory gets married, what difference is that gonna make in your life? And don’t bring God into it because in the same bible, we are told that it is better to remain single but if you cannot abstain from fornication, then get married. Most of you are miserable in your marraiges hence you keep ushering other women into misery with you…..but as my boss always says, mind your business! Live your life as you see fit. Not everyone is cut out to be a slave AKA wife in a Nigerian man’s home.
And this is coming from a non Nigerian male!
I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS………I THINK EVERY SINGLE LADY SHOULD READ THIS, U LITERALLY HAVE TAKEN THE WORDS FROM MY MOUTH……GOD!!!!!!!!!! GET A LIFE. 1. MARRIAGE IS NOT THE END OR PURPOSE OF GOD CREATING A WOMAN.
2. There’s the world out there, explore….live your life to the utmost fullest. I can’t quantify the emotions inside me right now….I surely am grateful that there’s a world of Nigerian ladies having this opinion.
One of the most refreshing articles I’ve read in a while. Single women are treated like foreign entities like its a crime. Rather be single than to be with with some bloak that not worth it. Go on ladies live your dream
I really enjoyed by life as a single girl and only got married before age 30 bc of my biological clock. I wanted to complete my family b4 35 and didn’t want to look like my children’s grandmother
Good thinking Glory!!. You make perfect sense, spot on. Especially on married friends who isolate their single pals.
I’m all for women enjoying their single years, developing themselves and not making marriage the ‘be all, end all’ . What’s the point in desiring to marry Obama when you’ve not made any attempt to be Michelle? I hope you catch my drift. Unfortunately you’ll start getting the side-eye in a patriarchal, largely hypocritical and sanctimonious society like Nigeria if you’re the wrong side of 20 and still single! It’s just the way people roll in that country. Your parents’ friends subtly hint at your ‘singledom’, your mother starts putting pressure on you to bring a suitor home, you’re pressured into making a wrong choice-when what is desirable is unavailable, what is available becomes desirable. Y’all know the way that isht ends!
Very well said. I dont know why im expected to ‘hurry up and get married’. Afterall, its a lifetime thing, no?
u may just wake up 65 @ with 8 cats wondering where u lost the plot.
That said, men need to be more prepared and careful, so that they dont end up being disappointments, or rich and in that case ensure your bank balance
Gloria…I must commend you. Its no more society pressuring you, its now the immediate family…Its sad. I disagree with you and a lot of people commenting on fat bank accounts..that will never make you happy or fulfilled. Its perfect to have just enough to take care of your needs and basic wants..trust me I know. Half of the females commenting here deeply in their hearts yearn for men and are just being brave by saying they don’t. I agree with you gloria when you say it shouldn’t be priority..to that extent it makes total sense…. The love and drive for career is only sought after and relished by ‘sriven and ambitious’ women…what would you say to half the women who aren’t and are placidly waiting to get to the next stage of life after education -marriage. Your piece makes quite an interesting read
There are very few women who do no worry about marriage..I am one of the very few. I have been in relationships most of my adult life and only thought one of the many would end up in marriage. I love my singledom..I love the idea of getting to know me. I have converstions with myself(when I’m alone, no need for everyone to know I’m a nutter) and sometims my train of thought amazes me. I have the strenght of a man and the resilience of a woman, I know that I would never have attained it if I had married at an early stage. This isn’t because marriage stifles, it is simply because the society is full of “asiris/tatafos/amebos” who might pressurise a husband to do things he ordinarily wouldn’t..Kudos Glory, you echoed the thoughts of lots of women..and men..let’s put an end to the Xenophobia..
Great Article! Lets keep the truth flowing!
You articulated my thoughts clearly and concisely….
Truly said but deep down within, it’s a topic that really affects unmarried women and with a society like ours.. even their immediate families would still haunt them ” when are you getting married ? ” , “you are getting old”, your younger ones are married with kids etc etc. The pressure from within the immediate family is always greater in most cases. Like the writer said, if a single lady is not confident, then she would give in and her life might now become worse off or unhappier that her initial single status. It is good to marry but not every human being would marry as painfull as it sounds, this is true.
Ummm… Look I’m going to say what’s on my mind. I’m in a fantastic relationship. When I say fantastic , I mean FANTASTIC! We’ve fought, “broken up”, come back etc etc but I’m the happiest I’ve been ALL MY LIFE. He drives me crazy but makes me SO happy. I blush sometimes when I think of him and when I see him and we’ve been together for a while now. So excuse me if I want my friends to experience this feeling and if I tell them that after God, he makes me the happiest. This article almost makes it seem like those of us in happy relationships are in the wrong and should hide this joy and heady feeling that we feel and not share it because our friends are single. Love is a beautiful thing please and I advise every single person of marriageable age to pray INTENSELY to find/be found by the pre-destined person. Your money/career would never have any feelings towards you. There must be a reason marriage was recommended by The Almighty Himself.
I agree with you when you say, love is a beautiful thing, but marriage should not be forced on anyone. Besides, I believe Gloria’s point is that single women should enjoy life and focus on their dreams, until Mr. right comes. Afterall, when Christ returns, he will not first take up the married ones to heaven and then, decide whether the single ones are worthy enough to be in heaven. Love and marriage is great, but being single is also great, if you focus on the right things.
thanks for being honest Ayo…..i’m in the same place you are….this article doesn’t make me feel in the wrong cos i know the one God sent into my life is right for me and it was at the appointed time so….anyone advocating focusing on career cos there’s no man is on their own….why not do an honest realistic article on praying for a husband while pursuing our careers….cos one cant find true love doesn’t make love a crime…..abeg….if half the ladies here were married the comments would be diff….so spare us that are not in the career only mode….when u have a good thing its natural to pray for others close to u to have same….well….we can go on deceiving ourselves cos we dont want to appear needy…but i know if u go down on ur knees and humbly ask God to order ur footsteps into ur Boaz territory He’ll gladly do it for u rather than go on ranting about being fulfilled single, when u are 50 and have travelled round the world, slept in all the restaurants, collected all the souvenirs and fought all the human right causes, i hope we’ll still be fulfilled… when the God of creation said it is not good that man shud be alone…na una sabi…me i want a career, husband and kids period!!!!…and yes i’m focusing on getting all three no crime in that!!!so help me God.
as in, i love it. absolutely love it. im busy making money, continuing my education, upgrading my life, starting a business. im a multi tasker so when he comes along, i just continue from where that list stopped. no woman prayed in d bible for a husband.(2 d best of my knowledge) i no go start am joor. gloria, well done wit dis write up. ladies, read and b wise. live the very best of ur life. dont dull, visiting aladuras, imams, alfas, tb joshua, all in d name of husband. he will come when and if he comes.
Marriage is a good thing as has already been said but its not a bed of roses and we ladies need to stop believing the age old fallacy of “age is no longer on your side” … SAYS WHO? Then once married they start all over again “when will you have kids” PLEASE!!! These are the same ignorant mindsets that got some of our parents into difficult situations and part of the cause of some broken families. God determines when the time is right for me. Whats all the fuss?
Thank you for this great article, just returned from nigeria and was so surprised that I wasn’t harrassed by the usual…where is your husband questions. Although I was sure its cause they have given up. I love Nigerian culture but the fact that if you are a single woman over 30 essestially you are considered a non-entity is incredibly irritating. And also half of the marriages i see don’t seem like anything i would want to be a part of.
Love love love it! All judgemental pastors, family members and married women need to read this and back off!!!!!!! Though I would advice that if a woman would like to have kids, she should aim to be married by 40 cuz after 40, it becomes more difficult. (Happily married to a wonderful guy and was happily single when I was).
Great article, and there are some really good comments too.
i agree with u and u ve really give me a reason to move on with my and enjoyed it very well
This is so hilarious, i wrote something about this on my blog too, but my own has a little twist to it, you can read about it: http://theimageofmyheart.blogspot.com/2011/06/signs-and-symptoms-of-marriage_16.html
Thanks for this though, i really enjoyed reading it. I wish i can send it to my MUM… LOL
whats most important is happiness, marraige itself wont make u happy! dats a personal decision…. if u are single and unhappy, gettin married wont solve that problem for u… i totall love this article!!!
Love this post!
True, oh! so true Gloria. Thanks a great deal…
well gloria is rite but dint let us be encapsulated wiv the stori and forget the advantage og getting hook p early i loife. nice article dou
Gbam Gbammer Gbamest!!!
Miss Glory,pls tell dem ooh!am 22 n my girlfriends re already talkin abt marriage as if its a do or die affair.they even went as far as saying its cuz nobody around me is married yet,dats d reason I feel its nt a big deal.I am so in love wif ur article!
My Aunt once told me i was becoming a lose girl because i was not married, did not have a steady boyfriend but i was travelling a lot on official assignments and working late. For her, it did not mean that i was devoting myself to a part of my life i had control over, it just meant that i was becoming an Abuja big girl and messing around with my bosses. We made up after the fight that ensued after the discussion, but deep down somewhere, i may never forgive her!
Goooosh am I soooooooooooooooooooooooo PROUD of you, God bless you really good and you will definitely fulfill purpose. Lovely article, a blessing and an eye opener to us all (ladies). Thanks again
Career or no career, whenever marriage calls, answer o but plssssss marrry your FRIEND!!!! the man who can tickle you outside in the presence of everybody without a care in the world!! the man who makes u throw ur head back and laughhhhhhh!! the man who would NEVER hit u! (and yes u can tell from the beginingm just dont lie to urself!)
nyc1 msGloria!!! i totally agree with u!! Ryt nw,let ma life begin is all i can say!!!!
i luv your courage in life. “yes, there is indeed more to life than bing marred”. thx.
on point Glory….. just the confidence single lady needs!!
On point!! There’s more 2 lyf dan jst fillin d earth with empty thoughts of marriage.. A fat account and a good job are paramount thoughts
You spoke my mind…..marriage is no means to an end like most ladies make it seem…Wedding pictures is the intimidating trend on my FB page but HELL>>>>I dont care. There is more I can achieve until marriage come…dts it it comes.
glory -pointed piece ……mi love 2 explore, of cos we al kno der are lots 2 b…..most married women 2day wish 2 b single hot wealthy ladies……
Welll personally,i feel a lot of you are just talking to make yourselves feel better,search the inner most part of your heart and you will realise your just in denial….While trying to find yourself and make all the money in the world and praying to God for more financial growth,there is nothing wrong in adding that little prayer for God to give you a good spouse and that does not make you desperate…..it totally depends on your personality,while praying to God for wealth and a husband/wife you can still do other things with your life,TRUST ME…i dont think any of you here wants to die single,after accumulating all the wealth and travelling to all the countries of the world and probably even out of space as well,you will still go back to your lonely homes and there will STILL be something missing.
So my advise,while praying for wealth,and touring the world and growing in your careers,you can still ask God for someone to share your life with,because that is what God wants for all of us,a man for every woman,a woman for every man…Thank you
Thank you Gloria, you just shared my deepest thots! ” We will all get married at some point, but in the meantime there are other things to get on with. There are places to visit, new people to meet, promotions to fill and money to be made!” #Gbam. And for the money part, I can’t agree any less
@ Me Here, you read my mind. This article still supports the Nigerian psyche that marriage is the start all and end all. I have spent most of my life seeking self improvement, and when I have lost myself in a man, marriage was never the reason. I only wanted to get married once becuase I was dating a guy I could see myself spending my life with not because I wanted marriage. I like having partners in everything but it is my feelings for that particular person that makes me give my partnerships societal labels. My best self and total hapiness are so important to me and being able to give light to those already around me is just as important. Marriage is not a goal neither should any kind of partnership be, like the kind of friends you want to have, it should be a natural thing and a natural destination and till your life takes you on that journey, you should go on journeys you can control and that your being is naturally inclined to and if you are a lover that wants togetherness go for it, but if you are a person seeking to enjoy life for what it is, do so… There is that strong possibility that marriage is not for everyone.
let me point out that not everyone gets married in life,we actually have ladies that are 60yrs plus and still single
I have never seen myself as the marrying kind. I foresaw an awesome career and the adoption of two beautiful babies- from the age of 11! Now when I think of all the stress from extended relatives (never my parents), pity looks from pals etc, I get exasperated and wander, would it not be easier to get married? My last relationship sucked. I am 19 atm, We were 17 and he said he saw us together FOREVER!!!! Worst words ever. I destroyed the relationship from then on. Sometimes I think that it would be nice to have a buddy to snuggle unto forever but then I think of sharing my bed when there is barely enough space for my 5ft10 albeit skinny frame FOREVER! I think of having to cook for someone FOREVER! I think of all these factors and I’m like, Mehn… later
3 words Eat, Pray, Love… Inner peace first before anything else…
I think its wonderful when young women can take control of their lives, and not allow society demands to rule your lives. Every woman is different: some want to marry today, some want to focus on career e.t.c. Career and marriage are both equally important. If you decide that your career should be your focus, then work hard, and stay focused on it. If you feel marriage should be your focus, then pray hard, and position yourself correctly (I don’t mean go to every shindig or wedding you hear about even if you don’t know the celebrants). I personally think they are both important so I choose to take control of both situations, I pray daily on my career, financial situation and that a great man will find me. I pray that God uses my life to exemplify the true meaning of what being favored is.
Um, I always visit this site (looove the comments by the way, they’re always hilarious) but never felt the urge to post my 2cents … until today.
WORD! Have we said it enough, yet? WOORRRRDDDD!!!!! 160+ comments to this post must mean you’re echoing the thoughts of very many single, unmarried & yet-trying-to-make-the-most-of-themselves naija chicks.
Just yesterday got a call from a long-time friend of mine who lives in Nigeria and she said she had “a guy” for me. I laughed it off but she insisted that she was going to give him my number. I mildly asked her to please not do that & then she said okay, she’ll give him my email address instead. I very firmly asked her to please not do that either and then she asked me what my problem was. When I was trying to explain to her that I cannot get even fathom the begining of a phantom relationship with someone who lives on a different continent, it became clear to her that I wasnt interested. The next thing she said to me is “It’s like you’re not serious”. I then sarcastically asked whether the plan is for me to make the man my husband and then pack my belongings from the UK, quit my job and move to Nigeria for the sake of marriage and she honestly didnt see anything wrong with that.
?????!!!!! I gave up after that but thank you, so much, for saying what I’m tired of trying to explain to married friends who choose to make me their charity case. And should I start on those aunts who want you to meet some 50yr old divorced man because you’re a spinster over 30 and they feel immense pity about your situation? Should I? Argghhhh!!!!!!!!!!
I am soooo happy reading this.gloria,we r very alike!i work late and travel a lot too.i am 28 and really dont care any more…Thank u 4 the word”NO WOMAN in the Bible prayed 4 a husband”.This is gona ring in my head now and always.2 every single reading this blog,enjy ths time doing thangs,having fun and makin money+most of all,lookin good.May God bless us all with the flesh of our flesh and the bone of our bone in due season.Amen!
Bull’s Eye! Some dude told me that life without marriage is “unfulfilled” and i couldn’t help but wonder where he got that from. He went further to backup his point with some scriptural quotes one of which was “a man would leave his parents and cling to his wife and both of them would become one”, he said that if God knew that one can be “complete” alone, he wouldn’t have created Eve for Adam. All i can really say is…..Thank you for this…..to think that it was only yesterday that i had this argument
Fantastic piece Glory! I can totally relate especially the part praying more about your bank balance and career than about getting married. I thought I was the only one who did that. I clocked 30 this year and I tell people I’m still in recovery from a 9 year relationship that went bad. That usually shuts them up when they go on about not yet being married. Most of my friends are married. Unfortunately, I can’t say that they are all happily married. One is considering walking out of her marriage after less than 3yrs of married life with kids to boot?! So, I wonder what the fuss is about getting married. I know that the right man will come along in due time but do I sit around twiddling my thumbs waiting for him? NO! I’m living my life and enjoying it… To be honest, the times I think – I wish I had a husband, are when I’m broke or faced with huge bills. My married friend has however disabused me of the notion that being married will solve my financial issues. So, please stop looking at my ringless finger as if it is diseased!
word #gbam#
Thank you Gloria for speaking the hearts of many!! Need I say more? NO.
Gloria, i am so loving u right now and would love to meet you (a girl after my own heart). My sentiments exactly. You are so on point. I feel like sucker punching people that say such prayers for me but like you said, Married ladies please pray for my increased bank balance and promotion i need to go to Thailand in October and buy more shoes. lol.
Great job girl, you tell ‘em.
Ok, so I read this article yesterday and totally love the last couple statements made. Gloria, u definitely the …ish thing going on right now. I look forward to reading ur articles cos they always make lotta sense. I just recently broke off an engagement too and mehn am I glad that I did…otherwise oju mi ko ba rin ma bo if I’d gone into marriage with the guy. Right now, this young lady wants to live her single life in the fullness of God’s presence and enjoy every moment of each day. Life’s too short to dull is what I’ve recently been telling myself and honestly no man can show me a good time as much as I can show myself. So I’m living my life jor…ofcourse also using the time to build the character of Christ in me and also make some kudi in the process…very pataki jare. When he comes around he comes and now I know better than ever before how to handle men’s situation when that happens…but I aint waiting in desperation to jump at the toms, dicks, and harrys that come around. I’m wiser than ever now becos these pretty eyes have seen ‘nkan’ but I know aal izz well and His timing is what matters most. Gloria you are a great writer and the very thing at BN. Stay focused and may God continue to uplift u in all areas. Cheers!!
Such a fantastic writer! Great read!
Lola x, London
http://lola-x.blogspot.com
Absolutely beautiful piece…i loved it, and the comments have been good. I can totally relate to this piece, but the sad thing in my case is the gbeborun aunties dats wont let me be, my own folks aint stressing me. Right now busy prayin for a bigger bank balance and been on top of my game.
Nice One Glory!!! Like being single has become a crime. I am so with you o this
Marriage is part of life and not life itself. Good and well thought out piece you have here Glory. Bravo!
i am certainly one who tilts towards the argument that one should not be swayed by societal pressure to marry, but there is also a time for everything( even the bible says so). On that note when you realise you are getting to a certain age, perharps it pays that you should pray about it. cos in as much as marriage does not complete a woman, neither does loneliness. My advice ;be prayerful and career oriented. You must have a balanced life and try to get that radar that detects the unserious guys…Girls, there is no such thing as an independent woman ask Beyonce( who tricked us once) U dont want to be successful and be 37 and find out that all ur option is is dating a married man( even worse).I have many cousins and trust me they’d just hiss on reading this piece, cos they ve the money but need the company. its human natre, it forms part of our own construct. So truthfully lets be realistic, its really best when we have it all.. Till them keep praying hard and working hard.
Brilliant piece Gloria. I pray a lot of presurised spinsters wil learn from this. However I dont agree with you when you say “every woman will get married eventually”. That is just not possible. Some people (both male and female) will never get married in their lifetime and that is the plain truth. What we should pray for is to fulfil God’s destiny for our lives!
Hmmm,gloria well said….Recntly ma kid sis bf propsd †̥ ha,n she came teling moi hw much she wil like moi †̥ gt maried b4 ha,dt plans were alredy on ground as d guys family cud no longer wait.,dt she hoped it was k by moi….well…very totful of ma kid sis.i sincerely aprciate ha concern…n ofcos d wedin tuk ples wt moi as ha maid of honour…bt belief moi….M happy 4 ha.Marriage į̸̸̨Ƨ̷ gud…i want †̥ b maried,but nt cos evrybody į̸̸̨Ƨ̷ gettin maried n tym į̸̸̨Ƨ̷ no longa on our side cos we r ladies…
Minwile who eva sed its wrng 4 a lady †̥ propose †̥ a guy she realy luvs?does it shw desperatn?
Shd a lady jus w8t 4 mr ryt †̥ com propose.,@ Gloria N everybody iπ d house, wil like †̥ur opinion…
Well written!
My dear Ladies,
Lemme start by saying the will of God for you and I is to have all round peace and success ( 3John 2). Therefore if we have success in one area and deficient in another area, it demands prayer.
2. We need to know that what is good requires prayer in order for it to be perfect and what is bad needs prayer in order for it to be good. Therefore praying about something good and wonderful like marriage does not make you desperate.
3. Progress and advancement should be a constant thing, whether we are single or married, therefore one shouldn’t be at the detriment of the other. Waiting on the Lord for a partner shouldn’t hinder us from working on ourselves but when we focus on one area and neglect the other, its uncalled for.
4. As a psychologist and a counselor, i have come to realize that most people who don’t desire marriage got to that state cos of the experiences their mum had with the dad, what they suffered in the hands of boyfriends and girlfriends, stories from people and what they see around them(divorce and failed marriages). This has killed their tendency to love or stay with a man.
5. We need to know that since we are xtians, we have a new life in God and what our parents suffered is not our portion. A thousand may fall to our side but it wont come near us. Every one’s marriage may fail but mine cannot fail bcos that is what God says about me and i will do everything in my capacity to make it work by loving my wife(cos am a man), treating her well as someone who has conscience and one who fears God.
6. Marraige is honourable and sweet. A man shall chase a thousand and two shall chase ten thousand cos the way God formed us is that we should be helpmates and help each other reach our destiny. Come to think of it, can a single tree make a forest? If you desire it, claim it, declare it and pray for it and it shall be to you according to your faith irrespective of the experiences you have had in time past.
7. Don’t give in to anyone cos of pressure, your own time will come. Even if your time has passed, God will grant you speed and make 1year 10years for you. Stay focussed, lay your hands on whatever you can, position yourself for God’s blessing and keep connected to God.
8. I urge you also to work on yourself. When we are right, we will attract the right sets of people. Many are actually waiting for Mr/mrs Perfect but perfection may exist in the dictionary not in reality. Some of us have got very high standards that can only be met when we get to heaven. Lets be selfless, tolerating, accommodating, don’t look down on anyone, not too materialistic, kind-hearted and show some care in the affairs of others too.
9. Iron sharpeneth iron. I believe in my words(sure you do too) whatever i confess and say is what will happen to me. Rather than complaining, being depressed or finding consolation, we can do the right thing-PRAY. I have a passion for this and created an account on twitter and mail address where we can meet to pray. The page is not meant for criticism or sharing experiences but only for encouragement and prayers.
10. The twitter account is (single2married) and yahoo mail address godswillmustbedoneinmylife@yahoo.com
11.Cheers.
Paul i just searched for you,you are not on twitter.
http://twitter.com/single2married
I like your views because you are telling the truth although I am a single man who is 30+ and has never had a girlfriend or affair with any woman ,I personally take a day at a time to achieve my best with time,someday if it is in the will of God I will surely get married but between now and then I must sort myself out career wise, happiness, wise and accomplishment wise.One has to be happy and in order to help ones soulmate.In Gods time all things are made beautiful.
this is so on point and she is real too so once again to “Me here” you can kill yourself because she is neither pretending nor has she accepted that she is a late runner..runner??? running where??? mschew
couldn’t have said it better myself – American loving 9ja
lovely piece Gloria, thank you for reminding alot of people that in a few years time, it wont be about who got married first or last. its gonna be who is “happily married”.
most people rush into it just for the sake of being in that social status.
singles ladies HEADS UP!
Amen!
Thanks for the article Glory. Soo on point. My 25 year old friend told me she couldn’t wait for her life to start cos she wasnt married! Our lives start once we’re born. I personally don’t need a husband to jumpstart my life. My life is here and now. I really don’t think I’ll be unhappy and lonely at 50 if I don’t have a family of my own at that age. There’s so much to do and so much to see. Society should back off and allow women to live their lives to the fullest and be the best they can possibly be. We single women (esp over 30) are tired of the constant hounding and pitying looks we get all the time from ‘concerned’ friends and family! There’s nothing wrong if I like to party have a fat bank account, drive a fab car and i’m fighting for that juicy promotion in the office and i’m still not married. I deserve a full life abeg! When marraige comes I will get married and if it doesnt happen fine! I’ll go t my grave knowing I had a happy life. No one has the right to tell me what would make my life more fulfilling cos they aren’t me!
Enough of my personally venting jare *drops the mic and flees the spotlight*
sorry for my typos
*giggles*
Any lady who still cries out in the night simply because someone made some nasty comments about her single hood has a lot more personality haulage to do. If you must do that, do it because you want to, not because people insulted you. I wish many ladies will read and believe this article. There are so many positive things to be done as a single which a married persons can never do. I cant remember the last time I brooded over the fact that I am single even though people say some nasty things I dont really care. I am having the time of my life by improving on my education/career and traveling till Mr. Right comes along. I also noticed it is very difficult to find an old woman who never got married in her life time. Everyone has her own time to get married.
*married persons* not a married persons, sorry for the slip.
Ȋ̝̊̅ wish our parents Α̲̅πϑ other married friends see it this way. Nice piece
Great article! Joel Osteen said “bloom where you are planted” and I truly hold to that belief as well. When you are single, use that opportunity to be true to yourself, to honor who God has made you to be and to know yourself in a very deep way…use that time to build your bullshit detector because when you finally meet that person, you will have a clearer sense of what you will allow or not allow into your life. Some women use dating as a way to distract themselves from the inner work/turmoil they need to face. I did not get married until I was 35, when I look back at those I had dated, I wonder at times what in the world I had been thinking and to think that I gave so much of myself and my emotions away to people undeserving of me but those were growing pains and life lessons that helped me when I met my husband. I had taken three years off after my last disasterous relationship to focus on me and when I was not looking is when God brought my husband to me. I couldn’t have made a better match for myself had I been able to go into a factory and fashioned him by hand myself. God’s time is the best, it’s cliche but true.
I wouldn’t go back to being single for a million dollars, I don’t miss it. I enjoy being married, I love being cocooned in love, security and comfort. If we need to get away, we use the resources around us, being married doesn’t mean life/fun is over for the next 18 years, it just means planning better and using the resources in our lives to make it easier to maneuver.
Arrgghhhhh it’s “GLORY” not “GLORIA”
*sigh*
Yes I just had to get it out of my system.
Lol
I love love love this article….! Lovely piece
Perfectly written and heart expression, but something still missing…..I like the idea and its good, yet i feel something is missing? And this brings my question…….
Naveah, i wish i could hug you.
Lovely piece. Inspirirng
soooooooo correct!
Da problem wiv dis generation is dat many are educated but still illiterate. People like 2b brainwashed. They accept things as they are said and fail 2 luk at the other side of it. For all of you saying good job and good piece, l took my time to analyze the article and see some of the quotes from the article. ***This is not an attempt to attack the personality of the writer in any way please, but just to show you the other side of this article. What applies to Taiwo may not apply to Kehinde. The truth is a very bitter thing to say****
“But I have come to the realization that marriage is a part of life and not life itself. I came to this realization a few years ago. Then I was, 27, single and heart broken over another failed relationship when the thought hit me. “Glory, what if God, has decided that you won’t get married for another 5 years?”
She came to this point of view because she was heart broken.
“Are you really going to spend the next 5 years of your life, throwing pity parties and wondering if the next guy, who says ‘hello’ is the one? ”
This statement means she once desired it and did all she could but wasn’t producing a desirable result.
“There and then I made my decision to focus on things that were within my control”
Meaning having a good relationship was beyond what she could handle so she settled for another option. You better don’t settle for anything in your life.
“I no longer wonder if the guy I met last week Saturday, is going propose in 6 months. I don’t spend my free time idly browsing through wedding dresses”
She used to wonder or think the guy she met was the right one. She desired it and wanted it
“After 30minutes of speaking with him, she left without discussing her problem. Why? Because the pastor had decided the bigger issue, was her unmarried status and began to pray about that instead”
Humans are made and fashioned biologically that they need the company of the other sex when they attain a certain age. God knew what He was doing when He said it is not good for man to be alone.
“Recently, a guy who I had decided not to date told me he didn’t understand my reason for being unnecessarily picky”
The guy knew she was unnecessarily picky because he had seen it before saying it and many ladies are picky that is why they are still single
“The same is true about marriage, one day, in a few years time, no one will care who got married first or who got married last”
When your friend’s children have graduated from school and have started taking care of their parents and you are still toiling to pay your children’s primary school fees at old age that is when you will know that there is time for everything and early marriage is the best.
“We will all get married at some point, but in the meantime there are other things to get on with.”
This is a fallacy. At some point in your life, you can never get married again except if you want to be the second wife of another married man who is in his old age.
“So please, the next time the urge takes you to pray about my single status, kindly include my need for a bigger account balance in such prayers.”
A woman was just like this was very wealthy and trained the children of other people. When she died, none of the people she trained came for her burial, they all gave excuses. Her corpse was lying fallow with no one to take care of her. All the money she made, her career and big account balance couldn’t bury her.
You don’t even know the personality of the person writing- As adults, I put this to you, have you ever thought of being emotionally satisfied? Having sex with your partner? Sharing love with your partner? Don’t you know there are some people who have decided not to get married but get emotional satisfaction from outside. If you desire it, it must be in marriage not someone coming to service you when you are horny.
If you like, let someone live your life for you. Live after the dictates/ideology of another person when you have your own life to live.
***Just been critical not an attack on the personality of the writer please***
All this epistle may not be necessary in my opinion. The bottom line of Glory’s article is live and let live. Some women want to get married and some don’t. God’s time is the best for those who do want to get married and if it’s part of God’s plan for them to do so. Some women were sexually abused as children (especially in that pedophillia infested country we call Nigeria were everything get’s swept under the rug) and are too traumatized to have an enjoyable sex life with the opposite sex/gender that you oh so preach about. Other women went through hell because they came from broken and/or abusive homes and hence are not willing to take that risk called marraige in this day and age when several Nigerian men do not stay faithful to their wives or butcher them up like nama/cattle/goat both at home and abroad. I know of several woman who raised other people’s children and those children love those women like they were their own mothers and did not abandon them. I equally know of married women who birthed kids and those kids have grown up and become their worse nightmare! Everything is by the grace of God. One can get married and the spouse can die before one get’s to age 60. One can birth kids and they can get killed by accidents, traibal or religious conflict, an abusive spouse or what have you. Life is unpredictable so we should be prayerful. Nothing in life is guranteed…and that includes neither marraige nor the birth of one’s children. Lastly, bad things including tragedies happen to both good and bad people. Though we may say that it is not our portion, nowhere does the bible say we will have no tragedies or heartache in this life. We are however promised that we will be given the grace of God to get through it all.
My 2 cents. Shalom!
Soooooo…. you would have told Sarah that there’s a certain age in which she can have children and after that she should just forgerrabourrit, abi? And look how God used her to produce a mighty nation.
Please dont spout the same washed up argument that I keep hearing married women make (some of that was also addressed in Glory’s article, wouldnt you know). There were just as many holes in your so-called critique but I can’t be arsed unraveling that entire epistle. *Sigh*
i am perturbed by your ignorance. the concept, for the umpteenth time, is to “live and let live”. you found love, good for you. go and marry and enjoy it. others who don’t find it can enjoy other things abi must they be miserable cos u found love and they don’t? unless my happiness is tied to yours, then i can find other means to enjoy life although your own enoyment oozes from your marriage.
Nigerias are so narrow-minded and a bunch of hypocrites…when your “married” aunty is 45, childless, you maintain faith that God will do it for her right? and the God that answered sarah will answer her. But when it comes to your single 35 year old friends, you condemn them and bully them so much with useless advise such as ” go and freeze your eggs o, old mama goose”. faith is faith…the same way u have faith for ur barren relatives, have faith for your single friends and stop haboring ill-wishes on your friends who don’t seem to be that bothered about getting married. mscheeewwwwwwww! Nonsense and ingredients
@Sandra & Jackie, THE POINT of this article is to build yourself and exert your energy into positive things while waiting for Mr.right. Abi, are we reading the same article?
You both have to point me to parts in the article where she said marriage is bad and women shouldn’t get marriage?
So in your opinion what should a single woman do? Go on a man hunt, beat her self up over her single status, propose to the next guy that says hi to her…really pls, pray do tell…what is she suppose to do?Cos, i honestly, dont get what you guys are on about
Gloria you are right on my street, good points raised, well done!
@paul i’m hitting you on twitter and to all others who have commented, your views have enlightened me richly..high five!
Amazing piece. I remember last year, i was desperate to get into a relationship and tried i could to have one and every step that i took ended me the wrong way, either the guy would be interested for a week or so and later on, goes on a silent vacation(no calls)….i got tired and i made up my mind to worry more about me than a relationship. I got working on my career and how much i can save and how many properties i can buy and build, i found myself praying more for a better job than a man in my life. And even when a man got interested in being with me, i told him up front, i am not your typical girl who wants to settle down as soon as possible,Am not the kind of woman to follow men and be desperate…Its been a year now and we are still together.As the writer says, learn to love being single and when the right guy comes along, you will feel it.Don’t be in a hurry and worry yourself sick over the guy you had a chat with at the gym—-is he the one?You will be all thin and miserable…live your life and make something for yourself. When you start to think more about you, the men appreciate it too!!!
Dear Glory, I absolutely love you! Sometimes I feel like you’re in my head. Its uncanny how you put into writing my exact thoughts. Don’t know how many times I’ve told peeps that i’ve decided to focus and pour my energy into the things that are within my control. The fact that I’m so calm gets on everybodies nerves. Thank you for writing this lovely piece.
Ladies, y’all dont know the half! Even we guys r hounded day and night by ppl who tink the knw wat’s best 4 us!
Am 30, an ITpreneur and doing well. And all ppl can see is the fact that am single! How’s tht 4 selective vision? LOL!
A 5mins chat wiv anyone and they wanna know who the “lucky gal” is or wen i dey announce “date”. Terribly annoying.
Married people are looking for a way out
I know right? I agree with you 100%. That is why many of them are here foaming in the mouth because they are stuck in unhealthy, abusive realtionships that they wish they can get out of but can’t because they are scared of what people will say. So they chanel their energy towards single women living their lives peacefully with no in-law wahala, no pressure to birth male children, no accusations of killing their husband if the man should kick bucket before the wife, and the freedom to make healthy decisions over their own lives without restrictions from the almighty husband. Who are married people fooling? Tomorrow now, we will here another story of a Naija man who has butchered his wife for whatever reason. Abeg Nigerians carry go!
no they are not we are enjoying being married
she makes some points though it must be said that if you turn the essay around, it seems a bit dishonest. It would seem that although she believes in marriage {which is a good thing}, she sounds frustrated that it hasn’t happened for her YET – ['YET' being the operative word that echo's throughout her essay]. it reads as if for her, not being married is a disease or condition which she has to manage with a positive attitude! -see where she talks about ‘accepting being single’. She also talks as if she is most interested in her career and money, but this is all a coverup for how she really feels. I argue very strongly that she has her mind firmly on the bottom line {for both men and women alike} – MARRIAGE! The carrer talk is a decoy … see where says: ‘instead of constantly concentrating on what’s missing…’ – oh so theres something missing? I thought you had your eye on the bank balance? – I dont think so!!! The underlying message in this essay I would argue is the same as a lot of women’s disposition on this topic, which is that she cant wait…she wants it… bad{ if she’s 30 and above… I bet she weeps buckets at night, in her private and quite consciousness{which is her ‘actual self’} , then comes out in the morning with her second personality {her essay writing sacha fierce ‘social self’} navigating her mind from marriage thoughts Again where she says: ‘it’s no wonder some single women find life frustrating..’ i think she is talking about herself. In psychology its called ‘reflexivity’. Also where she talks about her friend who goes to see the pastor, i strongly suspect that she is talking about herself again. she has to come out of the closet, because as she rightly stated, a man can spot a desperate woman a mile away – BUT SHE FORGOT TO ADD THAT THE WORST REPELLANT FOR MEN {ON THIS SUBJECT} IS THAT WOMAN WHO WANT ‘IT’ BAD, BUT PRETENDS THAT SHE DOESNT CARE. a man can spot a fraud 2 miles away, and a phony{in this case, a woman who whilst they are together is working with her ‘innerself’ to make it seem that she’s not anxious about it} 3 miles… the list goes on!!! Bless.
All these your assumptions are becoming too much! Live your life and let others live theirs. You don’t know the author to be making all these assumptions. This is why this piece was written to begin with. Nigerians and their oversabi is getting really annoying. Here abroad, you need to see how other African women talk negatively about Nigerians and their culture which includes this over the top obsession with marraige. Stop assuming what others do with their private life (single or married) before they swear for you!
@Jackie
happy you saw what am seeing too
Oh Lord… *says to self that this is the last time I’m gonna do this and then I’m done wt trying to set folk straight*
Did y’all even read what she wrote? The article is about focusing your inner energies away from something you can’t control (except through prayer but you better be praying for other things to build yourself with).
Listen. I was at church yesterday and my Pastor was talking about answered prayers and one thing he emphasised on was that sometimes our prayers are’nt being answered because of what we’re going to do with that which we desire. He spoke specifically about wealth, marriage, children and jobs asking us “do you want a husband because you want to enrich someone else’s life or do you want a husband because you want to show the world that you’ve overcome this shameful situation and rub it in their faces?”. The first thing my mind thought back to was this article and I thought that maybe this is where Glory might have been when she wrote it.
So, in a nutshell, please do not see this article as decrying the usefulness of men, marriage or the benefits that come with the latter. This is an article addressing the question of singleness being something that one MUST overcome to meet the expectations of society and regardless of whether that by-force marraige will bring real happiness. And I’m (hopefully) done.
I DO NOT AGREE MY BROTHER. YOU ARE TALKING FROM A SPIRIT FILLED PLACE OF GREAT BEAUTY; HOWEVER, THIS LADY DID NOT AT ALL ANCHOR HER ESSAY ANYWHERE NEAR THE ROCK OF THE MOST HIGH GOD OF ABRAHAM, ISSAC AND JACOB. SHE DID NOT EVEN SUGGEST ANYTHING GODLY IN HER ESSAY. BY TRYING TO CONNECT IT TO A SPIRITUAL BASE, IS JUST YOU BEING SPITITUALLY MAGNANIMOUS.
Well emphasied and delivered
could be truth be anymore clear than this. good one
i am a 36 i was married for 10 had a lovly daughter she now 12 married is not all you hope it will be for me it was hell of reality i am now single and i am happy the african tradition do not accet a single woman or man friend don make it easy they want you to married the next man you date jobness or not they don”t care as long as you are married and be like them but for i am a single mother and happy that is important for me
Well written. I’m 25 years and i have been very worried about this marriage issue. I even cry at night and feel so sad most days. I pray more than enough on this issue, i think about my ex boyfriends and I feel I made a mistake letting go of them. This has made me realise that Life must go on with or without marriage. I have good job here in Nigeria and I’m a fan of travelling around the world. Maybe I should just focus on the things that make me happy and stick with girls like you all who have come to understand that Marriage isnt the answer to all problems.
I once dated a military officer who was soooo rich and handsome and he felt he was the answer to my prayers. He beats me, cheats on me and even insults me. I woke up one day and said enough is enough!!! He is still in shock because he never believed I would leave him. I’m happy being single and away from such molestation.
Single or Married, Life will eventually even out. No cause for alarm.
tru talk big sis, ur insights are good, evry one wants to have a good life not be in lions cage……. my advice….. reach for the stars
I love dis well written article. I tot I was de only one on de notion of a big balance acct nd a career. Marriage though inevitable in a ladies hrt buh what happens after marriage where a ladyhas no finace of her own or an item to cal her own. All fingers r not equal dey say,buh de fingers make up a palm. No matter hw each lady views her priority,marriage ,career nd a fat acct balance r jst inevitable in a ladies diary.luv de write up
AMEN! Sister Gloria, please preach it! Ladies, while I understand the ultimate need to be married and in many cases, the isolation that comes with being single, its important to note the need to be HAPPY. Why rush in and compromise your happiness?. The part where Gloria said men can sense desperation a mile away…that is so TRUE! Men see through us farther than we can ever imagine, why do you think a very confident woman get the best men? While I am all for saying “I do” someday, the biggest turn-on for me right now is a BIG bank account and a career that would put me on wikipedia someday..allow me to quote Mrs Beyonce Carter
” have your own life before you become someone’s wife”
Get outta my head! Lol
marriage is actually not our primary purpose on earth. its a secondary issue. because after marriage, d man nd woman still both live differently.
@chic
sorry about that. God will put a new song in your mouth.
REPLY to Lydia August 10, 2011 at 11:22 PM
I respect your opinion, but I disagree with it. Im not making assumptions about the author – im making comments on her statements. In a civilized society, when you put a statement out, the logical sequence is to expect comments on it.
Its nothing to get emotional about. I would argue its not oversabi- rather, it’s the natural process of civilization. You need to employ reason free from passion. According to Aristotle, passion kills reason. So please don’t get annoyed, what you need to do is to restrain your adrenaline.
You talk about ‘abroad’…yet you don’t take in the fact that when you use a western medium of dialogue, you should expect a western medium of response.
Since you are abroad, I’ll have you know that the law of the western world is that when you put yourself in the public domain, you can no longer lay claim to you private life- to the extent that you put yourself out there, to wit, you cannot complain about the responses you get to what you have put out there – the expression here is that ‘you become fair game’.
If I may ask, am I talking to a graduate?…if so, why are you depart from an intellectual discourse to talk about ‘swearing’?… Besides if you believe in that ‘I’m just coming out from under a stone cave mentality’, it would not be wise to engage in a forum that promotes free speech: have you heard of that before?
Finally, assumptions are the bedrock upon which a hypothesis is tested for truth. MAY I ASK AGAIN: HOW FAR DID YOU GO IN SCHOOL?
well said
Very interesting piece Glory! So true too.
i want to be honesty here,your article is full of negativity…have some hope sister! Life is not all about carreers and generating more cash.
No the article is full of the truth! The way with which I see Naija men abuse and kill their wives you cannot blame women for dreaming about career and alot of money. SMH
Gloria! thnks for this piece. it is very true and helpful.
this is so on point…my best write up so far on BN
ohhh yeah…..am so loving dis article…
I conqueror…i must confess have learnt so much frm bella naija,and to ma darling gloria keep it up will keep this in mind and pls need you to talk to my mom cos evry moment she as to spend wit me is – Topic Marriage,she don 4get sey wen she n my papa marry and now no be d same thing.
you must have flunked reading comprehension when you were in elementary school…or they didn’t even teach reading comp in the evening school you attended? Long story short, Glory is saying “..if mr right hasn’t come, get busy with other things and seize the day”.
Well said Missy B…i totally agree with you, why pray desperately for money and career when the important thing (Marriage) u down play. I am not married neither do i have children but i pray constant like for a perfect husband /children….remember no matter how u pray for money, if you have all the wealth in the world and u are later married to a stupid husband that doesn’t know how to manage money, that just spends and spends trust me the whole money will go (Personal experience with my aunty) also, if you have a man that frustrates u day and night, trust me u wouldn’t be able to concentrate on ur so called perfect career……..don’t forget the poor girl that was killed recently by her husband. i for one think we all need to pray day and night without season for a PERFECT husband.
Please don’t let us down play it, due to the fact that the world think we are desperate. Marriage is for life, who we marry also determines how our future will be.
Pls prayyyyyyyyyyy. And while we wait and pray, let us work on our relation with God and ourselves (character wise)
Was the same when my friends started buying cars. Everyone behaved as if you were half-dead if you didnt buy cars at the same time they did. But in the final arithmetic, we all have cars and I dont even remember in what order we bought cars. Now marriage is the new toy to chase and they are still behaving the same way.
We ALL MOVE AT DIFFERENT PACES. Thats how life was meant to move.
Girl been there done that. This article is great and I feel her, I’ve practiced exactly what she is advocating for 12 years. BUT, there is a further analysis she needs to do, it doesn’t end there.
I’ve had to face the fact that time is still a factor for us women. At some point we need to make a decision whether we want kids or not and everything goes from there. Sorry if I seem all antsy about getting married, but actually I am not being the girl who thinks marriage is what will “save” her. I have had to make a choice whether I want kids and am just looking for the best strategy for having and raising them. That includes building a strong enough relationship with the man so that he will be involved in our kid’s life if not mine, you know what I mean
I don’t agree with the bigger account balance though, but having an occupation I enjoy, yes. And that brings again the whole marriage/companionship thing: if you are two successful people, you have more options in terms of choosing the occupation you enjoy because the other person has got your back.
Unfortunately our parents no longer have the strength to be there no matter how much they’d love to, neither our girlfriends cause the deepest form of companionship is meant to be between a man and a woman. Our girlfriends drop us the moment they meet a guy.
This is an awesome post i like.
hi 5 to this.
fantastic article. men can sense desperation a mile away and feed on it. know what you want but be wise and have faith in ur prayers if you do pray. and remember to thank God for what he has given you. I see women with good health, good jobs, good families praying for marraige in a way that suggests the Almighty has failed them utterly and they are in the worst position on earth. Give thanks o! Good things are yours
Career,money,happiness,promotion etc.can still be achieved under the right man’s roof.There is no gain hiding that this article is a product of the author’s several failed attempts to get a proposal.Apart from an arranged marriage,having a man propose to you and on time too requires a special inter-personal skill(s) which most single but desperate ladies clearly lacks.I’d like to opine that those without these skills should first seek for it before expecting a proposal.
Nice one