Life Hacks with Toby: Job Hunting Is a Full Time Job

under the sunAs a young student, I vividly remember my father telling me stories of how easy things used to be. According to him, young graduates took entry level job tests as they wrote their degree exams. Most of them got jobs and bought their first cars few months after graduation.

Can you imagine the scenario? Imagine me, Toby, getting a job one week after graduation. U go fear naa, sweet dream. Thunder fire devil!

I still remember the first recruitment test I wrote. I had just completed my NYSC at the time. And I was desperately hoping to get called for an interview from one of the millions of companies I had applied to. Not too long after, I got a text message from one of the independent recruitment agencies in Nigeria.

The message read something like:

“You are invited for a recruitment test which comes up on the 4th of April 2012. Venue: ‘Lagbaja’ Hall, University of Benin. Time: 4pm.

“Please log on to www.onemillionnairapermonthjob.com to print your invitation letter. You will not be allowed into the test venue without it. Your ID is Toby, and your password is thejobisminebyfirebyforce2012. Please come with photocopies of your credentials”

I jumped up with excitement at the news. I was literally beaming from ear to ear as I shared the good news with my family. My dream job was soon going to be a reality.

Quickly, I brought my GMAT and started studying it the same way I studied ‘Ababio’ during my WAEC. It was my chance to ‘show’ them the stuff I was made of. I was determined to ace that test no matter what.

After three days of intense studies, I boarded a bus. When I got to the venue of the exam, it was like 1 million people gathered to write that test. Yekparikpa! You will think we came for a crusade.

I was scheduled for 4pm, and we were close to 1000 waiting for that particular batch.

My surprise turned to shock when I met different categories of people equally scheduled for 11am, 2pm, and even 6pm batches respectively. Haba!

I still didn’t understand what I was in for, until I heard that the same test was holding at the same time in Porthacourt, Abuja and Lagos. In fact, my informant told me that the crowd in Lagos was about double our size.

see crowdAt that moment, I started to wonder how many openings they even had.

Mba. Lai-lai! I must get this job even if all Nigerian graduates are writing it.

Soon it was our turn.

“Put off your handsets. Keep your calculators in your bags and place them at the designated points. Proceed to the desk with the number on your slip. Sit down and wait for the next instruction.”

That was from the chief examiner. I take style pity the guy shaa, the crowd wey come for that test no be small ting.

The test lasted for exactly one hour. I answered about half of the questions and did tumbom-tumbom (guess work) for the rest.

That was the day I knew that GMAT had grade. The one I revised with was Junior WAEC GMAT, but the ones those guys consulted for that test was definitely a PhD GMAT.

Immediately I left the hall, I looked for some of my colleagues from school to ask how the test went. I felt bad because I knew I didn’t write well. But when I heard almost everybody else complaining about the test, my frustration turned to relief.

Thank God say no be only me.

Of course those guys never called me back.

At a point honestly, my job hunt became a full time job. The only difference between me and my working mates was that they get paid at the end of the month. I mean, I equally spent most of my waking days working in the cyber cafe searching hotnigerianjobs/jobberman for vacancies.

Omoh it wasn’t easy.

Some jobs were easy to get shaa. You know all those marketing jobs for healthcare companies and insurance companies. I don’t even know how those people used to get my CV back then.

It was very frustrating to get an invitation for interview only to get there and find out that it was another drug selling company.

Imagine borrowing #500 transport fare from your neighbour, putting on your best suit in spite of the hot weather, only to be told to come and “register with 35k”.

see suit for this hot weatherHow you go tell person wey dey find job, wey never see 1k to bring 35k? Mtcheww.

As for all the 419 recruiting agencies wey full Lagos and Abuja, na God go Jjjjjjjjuuuudgee all of dem.

I once got an invitation from one of them located in Ikorodu. Imagine travelling all the way from Aguda to Ikorodu for an interview. And to think I was putting on a suit in that dangerous Lagos traffic and hot weather.

Did I complain? No.

When they asked us to write one fake aptitude test, did I complain? No.

My mind was already fixed on the prospect of getting a job after my long search. The time I knew their jazz was strong was when they asked us to pay about #3500 processing fee.

Honestly, I don’t remember how it happened, but we all paid. And we were close to fifty people. Maybe na jazz, or maybe we were just too desperate. At the end, I never got called back for the job; neither did I get my money back. Worse still, Ikorodu was too far for me to return to. And I was not even sure that their ‘office’ would still be existing if I had returned.

Finally, job hunting in Nigeria is a job on its own.

For all my friends out there that are still job hunting, I pray you will get it before the end of March. But please share your job experience with us in the comment section. If you already have a job, what was your job hunt like? How long did it take you?

Happy Weekend friends.

113 Comments on Life Hacks with Toby: Job Hunting Is a Full Time Job
  • Yetty February 26, 2016 at 10:56 am

    coming back to read hilarious comments… just got a job this January and my experiences were “wonderful”.lol

    • Toby Nwazor February 27, 2016 at 2:05 am

      @ Yetty Congrats o. Please come and share your own experiences jare. I yaf shared mine. Me I want to read your comments too before my popcorn and coke finishes

  • E.A February 26, 2016 at 10:59 am

    Happy you got a job at the end, well done- but one thing that bothers me is why we do not discuss our population increase affecting every aspect of our lives in Nigeria. How do we expect jobs, for everyone if people keep having 5,6, 7 children literally healthcare, transportation, educations and em[employment will be tighter than ever. SMH and we know Nigeria has a problem creating employment already- but sometimes we need to blame ourselves take some responsibilities in this mess. Once again congratulation on your job, and good luck to the other millions still looking for a good job.

    • nene February 26, 2016 at 12:37 pm

      i wish the govt could put a cap on children per family. it is ridiculous that one person can have 6 children. nobody should have more than 3 kids. but i doubt it would happen, since most of our country is made of muslims and we have the problem with the catholics who don’t believe in contraception and the igbos who would make their wives birth as many children until they have at least one son.

    • uche… February 26, 2016 at 6:40 pm

      You have point but I want you to see the opportunities you can create just by the problems you identified..
      Cheers ?!!!!

    • Toby Nwazor February 27, 2016 at 2:12 am

      E. A (Adeboye?) You raised a very valid point. Personally I can’t imagine myself having more than three kids, unless my wife insists shaa (you know in this area, a woman has the final say). But even if she does, they will NEVER be more than 4. I have raised this point in the past before in some discussions. Population constitutes a lot to the issues we have. For instance if we were not overpopulated, this blackout in my area for the past two weeks wouldn’t be happening.
      “NEPA, May God forgive you people”

    • molarah February 27, 2016 at 7:02 pm

      I’m not sure what population control has got to do with the rate of unemployment. They look like they are correlated, but in Nigeria they are not. Our problem is lack of functional industries and institutions. There will be enough jobs to go round in Nigeria, if we diversify the economy and get involved in extracting, producing, processing and distributing (within and outside the country) those many resources God endowed this space with. Let’s keep the focus in the right place.

  • Austar February 26, 2016 at 11:07 am

    Toby always cracks me up with his write ups. Thank you for that. As for the job hunting aspect, I am so happy that those days are over. I remember going for countless interviews and end up finding out that its a health company and one has to pay a certain. God punish devil, I never paid a dime and ended up going home sad. There is this particular dead health company located at Ikorodu road beside Shittu motors that keeps sending me messages to come for interview till date. Ogini!!! It’s not by force nau!!! Those days are gone now. Thank God.

    • Toby Nwazor February 27, 2016 at 2:20 am

      Austar, those Ikorodu people eh. Finally I no blame dem shaa. All man dey hustle their own. Some of them have good intentions shaa, just that they over promise beyond what they can deliver. FOr instance, there could actually be a job opening that they have access to, but the job would be for just one person. Then they will invite fifty people and collect ‘processing fee’ from all of them knowing that only one person ‘may’ be invited for interview. It’s well shaa

      God pass them too

  • keke driver February 26, 2016 at 11:28 am

    I remember after my NYSC I went from one company to the other writing one test to the other…Hmmmm my first job paid me #7,500 as a graduate o (Note, I attended a private uni) but I was there for three months, then I moved to another company, at least it was better, I was paid 11,500 (This life sha) I still didn’t stop, afterwards I got a job of 50k then my salary was increased cos of my hard work to 60k…….then I got another one last year December Hmmmmm God has been faithful.

    • ucylo February 26, 2016 at 12:34 pm

      Hi dear, Are you joking about these amounts you were paid?

      • keke driver February 26, 2016 at 1:41 pm

        NOPE……………… AIN’T KIDDING.

    • Toby Nwazor February 27, 2016 at 2:50 am

      From glory to glory, see as your salary just dey change levels. I noticed that you told us about 7,500, 11,500, 50k and 60k, but you didnt mention what the last job is paying. isorait. Lol

      Congrats keke driver. Soon, you go dey drive jeep

    • PD Young Billionaire February 29, 2016 at 4:06 am

      Congrats o,but why u dey call yaself Keke Driver???Confession is possession o!

  • Tosin February 26, 2016 at 11:29 am

    serious matter, laughing matter. <3
    hmm.

  • Zee February 26, 2016 at 11:30 am

    I am certain many graduates are in such situations. Between 1st january and now i have applied for over 200 jobs! The few companies that contact me are marketing/insurance agencies based in Lagos. And I am one of those few people that have no relatives/friends in Lagos. When KPMG contacted me for aptitude test i was ecstatic and started planning the long journey from calabar to lagos only to get a mail withdrawing me that i have a 3.31 which is not a 2:1. I felt depressed for days. What I am now into is volunteering for NGOs, the last NGO I volunteered for in Calabar used me as full time staff sha, as they had no workers except the program officer, I was m&e officer, researcher, receptionist, assistant program officer, technical officer, I worked weekends too. It was crazy. I loved that job tho. I moved to Delta state some days back and I am back to square one; getting my CV out and trekking the streets of Warri, lol. I am quite intelligent but I do not understand why I have been jobless or severely underpaid for the past two years, I see my mates getting great jobs. I wonder if there is something I am doing wrong. May God help all the job seekers out there.

    • In your shoes February 26, 2016 at 12:27 pm

      My dear, i have lost count of the number of jobs i have applied for o. Was about to ask if we could brainstorm on this job search thing together only to read that you’ve left calabar.*sigh* I’ve been searching for a job since i finished nysc in november and it is not easy. Some days are better than some tho. That’s how i recently went to register as a tutor somewhere and i saw some people who graduated in 2011 registering with me, i just felt sooo depressed. And this issue of not having connections in lagos eh… As a Female Engineer, i am just hoping that someday soon i shall testify.

      • Zee February 26, 2016 at 12:52 pm

        @in your shoes, I am just trying out Delta state, I pray it works here else I migrate. Have you been to epz? GE were recruiting recently and with your course of study you stand a better chance cos they needed engineers. Wish you the best!

      • In your shoes February 26, 2016 at 1:39 pm

        @Zee, a friend of mine introduced me to someone who works in GE at the beginning of the year, and he was supposed to let me know whenever there was an opening. We spoke a few times last month and he was nice and all but recently my mails/txt msgs have gone un replied *sigh* Maybe i’ll just carry my two legs and go there and at least drop an application. Thanks anyways and best wishes to you too.

      • Abk February 26, 2016 at 9:45 pm

        In my shoes :

        Oando.
        GE.
        Total.
        Addax.
        Baker Hughes.
        SEPLAT.

        Good luck.

    • nene February 26, 2016 at 12:39 pm

      it’s really depressing. there are many people like you, please don’t be discouraged. for you guys to even go through the stressful job search, you are all strong. i hope you get your dream job.

    • Cee February 26, 2016 at 3:46 pm

      Have you tried rewriting your CV just a suggestion

    • Abk February 26, 2016 at 9:43 pm

      Zee, and In my shoes, sorry guys.
      It’s the same everywhere, even here in Canada, even in the U.S.. People can even apply months before graduating and even a year after graduation, no job. I know someone who spent many months applying to different companies in different sectors, as frustrating as the feedbacks were, she continued to research different companies and applied to as many companies and positions she was eligible to. It took a while but she eventually got a job. Even in Nigeria, there’s only so much connections can do. It’s not always about connections. My advise, never get discouraged. I know it is hard but persistence and of course prayer helps. Job hunting makes you familiar with companies you were never even acquainted about. Getting a job anywhere in the world is definitely not easy, forget the only Nigeria mentality; it’s all over the world. My advise, never give up, do not get discouraged and always stay motivated. You are your own cheerleader.

      God bless!

    • Mine February 27, 2016 at 4:36 pm

      @Zee, as a fresh grad, you may not get some of the big name employers right after Uni. Build up your CV first with not so prestigious names. With at least 2 years under your belt, you should begin to go up the ladder.
      Send me your cv, I might be able to help. lalacareerhelp@gmail.com

      • Zee February 28, 2016 at 12:50 pm

        @Mine thanks a lot! I just sent you a mail. I hope to hear from you. Do have a pleasant day.

      • Yeka February 28, 2016 at 1:00 pm

        @Mine, can I send mine too?

    • Spunky February 27, 2016 at 11:31 pm

      @Zee; visit PAL pensions and leave them with a copy of your CV. the address is; No.2 Waico street, behind UBA & airtel, along water resources Sapele rd, Effurun ( ask for Isaac pr Raji).There’s a clause though; you gotta be ready to work your ass of if you eventually scale through. Good luck

      • Zee February 28, 2016 at 12:55 pm

        @Spunky, thanks for this valuable information. I will do just that.

  • jojo February 26, 2016 at 11:34 am

    Lol!!! U jst described my experience with KPMG afta service. It wasn’t funny, it still isn’t but we won’t give up. Presently jobless and seriously searching but Abuja isn’t favourable at all. At least in lag, u still get invited and even ve choices BT here na die. I ve even started volunteering to work 4 free but still … Remember us oh Lord!

  • bijouxthisbijouthat February 26, 2016 at 12:10 pm

    hahahahahaha, my colleagues had to ask me what was wrong with me,i was laughing like a hyena here… oh boy u are funny . These lines cracked me up soo hard “That was the day I knew that GMAT had grade. The one I revised with was Junior WAEC GMAT, but the ones those guys consulted for that test was definitely a PhD GMAT”
    “At a point honestly, my job hunt became a full time job. The only difference between me and my working mates was that they get paid at the end of the month. I mean, I equally spent most of my waking days working in the cyber cafe searching hotnigerianjobs/jobberman for vacancies.”
    The life of a job seeker… Sorry

  • Chi! February 26, 2016 at 12:21 pm

    I always rush to read Toby’s write ups, it always cracks me up n makes my day. well done bro!i’ve been thru dat job hunt in lagos, its not easy buh God came thru for me. wit God all things r possible.

  • Bukola February 26, 2016 at 12:31 pm

    Laugh wan kee person oooooo, haba, very funny but true, those dubious people sending stupid text for an interview/test at ikorudu or yaba, stressing someone when they dnt have job to offer, I never paid their fee anyways, at a point I knew how to detect those yeye interview msg. God is needed to secure a good job in Nigeria ooo, pray without season, then do your part too.

  • Tizzytizz February 26, 2016 at 12:34 pm

    LORD!!! Tobi ya in he spirit aswear!!! My situation is jus lyk urs; CRITICAL! From one interview to another, my friends don dey call me housewife already, with Allllll my education na to siddan for kitchen! God forbid bad tin! Sigh. It is well even in the well. Thanks so much for this write up. Shows me that whatever your situation you can always find something to smile about it. Off to my next interview ???

  • ucylo February 26, 2016 at 12:59 pm

    Job Hunting has really humbled me. The truth is that I have moved from being a very self confident person to becoming a God dependent individual. Although I graduated top of my class with the highest honors obtainable, I have still not gotten a job upon completion of the NYSC programme in October 2014, Its been a year and four months. However, the only difference between an employed individual and myself is that he or she gets paid for their labor and I do not as I equally work all day and night sometimes. Apart from the rigorous application procedures, online assessments, nights of studying GMAT, flying inter states for job exams, purchasing data bundles to keep up with possible employers, shamelessly depending on my parents for a monthly stipend, constantly uploading my certificates for job and scholarship opportunities both genuine and in-genuine and so many other things, I have also discovered something priceless in me. I could Write. I am talented. It may not pay me now but it could pay me later if I worked hard on it. i realized it was not the wait that mattered but what I was doing while I was waiting. So I began to write and write and I wrote so much so that if I finally landed a publishing deal, I would have about three great novels ready. There is something in all of us that we would be ignoring if we just go ahead and work for others for the rest of our lives. I agree that a paying job can put food on our table and pay the rent but what will bring us the ultimate satisfaction is the gift in us. I still want a job so I can have some money and buy stuff I want but being theoretically a geologist would only give me money and not the fulfillment being practically a writer would give me. it was the gift that God says would make way for us and bring us before kings. Therefore, in this ‘wait’, I am writing. However, hoping that I land a job soon.

    • Ijebujesha February 26, 2016 at 2:50 pm

      Why don’t you try the banks? Much easier if you go through a Bank staf, like an Operations head or a Marketing head of a branch or a mid-level /Senior level officer at the head office. I think that’s more assured.Wish you the best soon, by God’s grace.

    • Bola February 27, 2016 at 12:29 am

      Ucylo: Hey Hun, you studied Geology? Try applying to Shell, ExxonMobil, Total and Chevron; particularly Shell and Chevron. They usually like that major; Geology. It’s a good one. Even if there’s a case where they’re no current positions/opportunities, you can visit their career websites and submit a well written CV and Cover letter. Alternatively, you can visit their offices and submit it with their HR departments and most times they contact the candidate(s) when positions become available; if the candidate(s) meets the requirements.

      You can also try outside your field and apply to companies like Accenture, PwC, McKinsey & Company, and the likes. Things will certainly get better; By God’s Grace.

      Good luck to all job-seekers.

      God’s blessings.

      • ucylo February 27, 2016 at 10:24 am

        Thanks Bola, I will do just that.

    • Toby Nwazor February 27, 2016 at 3:10 am

      Ucyclo I am touched by your story. ” I have also discovered something priceless in me. I could Write. I am talented. It may not pay me now but it could pay me later if I worked hard on it. i realized it was not the wait that mattered but what I was doing while I was waiting. So I began to write “.

      My dear, I have a similar story. And last year, I told God that because of writers like you, I will succeed as a writer so that people will know that writing is a career path worth exploring.

      Personally, I write for a living. No kidding! And you can too. Please send me a mail I would love to speak with you (tobynwazor@gmail.com).

      At this point sef, you can overlook your course of study too. Yeah, I studied Chemical Engineering equally, and I’m HSE certified. But then, so what? If writing is your passion, make it your job, because it can pay you.

    • Mine February 27, 2016 at 4:47 pm

      Can I see just 2 pages of your write up? If it’s up to scratch, and youre ready to work hard, l believe you may have found yourself a job. N45,000 per month. Send a CV if you’re interested. lalacareerhelp@gmail.com

    • Shina March 22, 2016 at 4:45 pm

      How can I reach you? If you’re interested in writing … there’s a position open at a startup. Do you have some samples what you’ve written?

    • Redahlia May 3, 2016 at 3:56 pm

      Hello Ucylo. I like the zeal you have. Send a us a mail. Thanks

  • Bibi February 26, 2016 at 1:00 pm

    yoy have to know someone to get a job in this country.#dazall

    • Amiee February 26, 2016 at 2:46 pm

      Not true. Got my present job 4years ago without knowing anybody at the firm. Got a new job as Company Secretary of an international accounting firm here in Lagos. I’m due to start in two weeks time. I did not know anybody there. Infact I got to know about the job opening through one of these numerous job websites while i was just trolling about the internet and I applied for the job two days before the deadline., got called for a test. Two days later, was asked to attend an interview. One week later, I got a call offering me the job. I signed my employment letter two days ago.
      If you are looking for a job, let me let you in on a secret. This was what helped me get this new job. The requirement/minimum qualification for the job was someone who was at least 5-7 years at the bar and had ICSAN qualification. I am only 3 years at the bar and I am yet to get my ICSAN qualification, although I have registered to write the June diet of the exam. After the written test, I sent the HR person an appreciation email, thanking them for their time and telling them that I hoped they would be impressed by my performance in the test and give me a chance to prove myself. Two days later, I was asked to come in for an interview. After the interview, I sent them another mail, thanking them again for their time. One week later, I sent a follow up email, asking about my performance at the interview and reiterating my interest in the job. Less than an hour after I sent the mail, the HR Manager called me and asked me to come in the next day. She told me that although I had done very well in the test and interview, there were other people who had performed better than me and who had the required experience and those were the people they were considering BUT that out of the over 70 lawyers that had come for the test and the over 30 lawyers that had come for the interview, I was the only one who sent an appreciation email and also followed up on my performance during the interview and that this was the trait they were looking for in their Company Secretary, someone who is going to be checking constantly to make sure things were in order. She asked me how much i earn where I am, I told her (although I inflated the amount sha *winks*) and she said they would top it by 40%, asked me if I would take the offer and right there and then, my contract of employment was prepared and I signed. That was it.
      What I’m trying to say is after every test and interview, show your prospective employer that you are very much interested in the job. Send follow up emails, not like everyday o, that’s just crazy and stalker-ish but maybe once a week or two weeks. Let them know you are interested and the follow up keeps you on the mind of whoever is HR there. All the best to job seekers out there.

      • Dudu February 26, 2016 at 8:38 pm

        @Amiee

        What you have said is very true. Here in Canada, thats how it is done (or atleast how I do it) After the interview, I send a thank you email to the interviewer/recruiter and also touchbase with them about a week after.
        Also, I need to mention that the resumes/cv we do in Nigeria is simply pathetic. There are alot of irrelevant stuff we also put on our resumes (eg Date of birth, marital status, address, state of origin ). You really need to sell yourself in your resume, focus on what you have accomplished on the job and use buzz words so you can be noticed. Also, you must blow your trumpet cos that is what Oyinbo people do. We, on the other hand , are very humble . so when we talk at interviews, we dont want it to seem like we are bragging. At interviews, it must be about what “I” did and not what “WE” did. Also, the tell me about yourself question – hmmm, I remeber when I was still in Nigeria and attending interviews. When asked, I would answer: my name is xxxx, im xxyrs old, I come from a family of xx, I went to xx school and studied xx lol. Who wants to know all that? When asked that question, you need to sell your self on what you have accomplished and the skills you have (which should match the skills they are looking for)
        There’s so much I can say but I would advise that we work on our resumes and interviews and you would definitely get noticed.

      • Toby Nwazor February 27, 2016 at 3:00 am

        Amie, Thanks for this. You are so right. It ain’t magic. It works in any field and venture.

        Good luck on your new job

    • Amiee February 26, 2016 at 2:48 pm

      Oh.. and pray too. You can never go wrong with God. Told God if I get the job, he was getting half of my first salary. He kept his promise, I will keep mine.

    • Abk February 26, 2016 at 9:47 pm

      Bibi,
      That’s untrue and that’s the biggest misconception people make.

  • barbie February 26, 2016 at 1:11 pm

    I wrote every test writable and all my friend were laughing at me and my job hunting paroles. fast forward to 2 years later. I got a job from 3 different top companies, I was confused but I went for the best. Sometimes its just God.

  • Queen bee February 26, 2016 at 1:24 pm

    My experience as a job hunter in a foreign land has been worse, despite the fact that you studied and paid huge amount of money while studying, they consider their citizens first, i have lost count of the cv’s that i have posted, infact they don know me for post office.
    The saddest thing is you don’t even get called for interviews, except you are doctor or a nurse but other courses omo you don enter one chance ,recently i went for an interview, the second interview have been privileged to go since 2013, i hope God takes control and make me smile this year …..it is well

    • mo February 26, 2016 at 2:40 pm

      I know right? I hate job hunting in this country. I never looked for job but I always pity my husband bcos he kept applying for all these job and none call him back. He graduated 2013. He is yet to get a job with his bsc and he’s paying student loan of $550 every month. Its so stressful my dear. That’s one of the reasons I like nursing in USA. May God favor you.

    • Helloooooo February 26, 2016 at 3:57 pm

      what do you mean by “post Office”, who in this day and ages requires you to send a CV via post….no wonder you haven’t found a job yet……….Haba

      • Helloooooo February 26, 2016 at 3:58 pm

        typo *age*

    • Sansarai February 26, 2016 at 8:39 pm

      My dddeeeaaarrrr…very exasperating experience. I thank God for God who delivered me out of Egypt and landed me a great job in Naija. I no tink am twice o…I jejely enter plane come house. My funniest experience (funny now) was when I was applying for a financial advisor/analyst/something-or-other role with Edward Jones. After I finished filling out one long-ass application where I pretty much repeated everything that was already in the CV I uploaded with additional grammar, I got to one line where it said…”we have a few final questions before you complete your application” or something to that effect. Na im I enter last page. After asking me whether I’ve been arrested before, committed any crime, gotten driving ticket, overstayed my visa, yadi-yada (like say if I bin do am before I go agree say I do am), I duly answered no. Final question: “are you a citizen or will you require H1B visa sponsorship” or something to that effect, I just paused. Red flag. After spending a good hour plus, something told me to just lie but the good girl inside me couldn’t help herself and said “yes please”. Na im the application come close for my face. YOU ARE NOT ELIGIBLE TO CONTINUE WITH THIS APPLICATION! THANK YOU FOR YOUR INTEREST. That was the last US-based job application I ever filled. God punish Satan.

  • Drew February 26, 2016 at 1:26 pm

    Can BN starts paying this writer if they aren’t? From his profile it looks like he’s still not landed a job(blog under construction and all). Because. Damn! He’s a good writer!

  • oluwole February 26, 2016 at 1:30 pm

    Getting a JOB is a JOB in nija, I remember when the hunt was tough,i have to take a tutor job,taking more than 40classes in a week “does private schools really knows how to use graduate”. God help us, to all the job seekers, always note this “an idle hand is the devil workshop and their is respect in WELCOME than asking u heard the neighbour fought is wife today”. Get engage in something that will add value nd experience to your life daily. God will answer us this year.

    • Lee February 26, 2016 at 9:52 pm

      I live in Toronto and I can tell you that getting a job is a job itself in any country. The moment you guys realize that these things happen everywhere and not only Naija, and that it’s no different elsewhere; the better.

  • Yeka February 26, 2016 at 2:22 pm

    Hook me up guys, I am unemployed. I have a degree in Agriculture and a Masters degree in Environmental Science. Besides that I am adept in media work with qualifications and a considerable level of experience.
    Please help someone, anyone!

    joechi66@gmail.com

    • Lee February 26, 2016 at 9:56 pm

      Etisalat, GTB, FCMB, sometimes these companies have postings. You can start in Customer Care and progress to a Consultant. I know that it’s unrelated to your degree, but even here in Canada Customer Experience positions are good fits for people who have unrelated degrees; you need minimal or no training. You can check their websites, and go to their career section or better still, write a good résumé (cv) and cover letter and go to their offices and drop it over at human resources.

      Your efforts will not be in vain in Jesus’ Name, Amen.

      • Toby Nwazor February 27, 2016 at 3:01 am

        Amen! Thanks

      • Yeka February 27, 2016 at 3:11 pm

        @Lee thanks for the suggestions. Etisalat, GTB, FCMB without referrals?! I guess I should just try, I’ve got nothing to lose

    • Nma February 27, 2016 at 3:32 pm

      Yeka, to add to the what Lee said, because of your Masters degree in Environmental Science, you should try applying to Shell and ExxonMobil.

      • Yeka February 27, 2016 at 9:17 pm

        Nma, don’t I need to know someone in this Nigeria for me to get in?

      • Nma February 28, 2016 at 3:06 am

        That is the mistake a lot of you make, although connection helps (let me also add there’s a limit to what connections can do), you can still get jobs, submit applications, etc without connections. Many people have gotten jobs without connections. Even with connections, sometimes if you’re not fit for the job, you don’t get it.

        Good luck!

  • Ada February 26, 2016 at 2:42 pm

    You people should support every application with strong belief and with prayer. Sometimes it is just God o! Only GOD! And after you land your first job and get some experience, biko go and do a Masters. Some employers go just see Masters and fling away all Bachelors applications. Dem no go even consider you. If them mistakenly come see foreign degree anywhere on the CV eh, it becomes priority immediately. So…. pray, pray and pray. Manage your first job whatever the pay and work mad hard at it. Improve yourself the first opportunity you get. All these things will be good SEO for you when next you apply to places!

  • I said so February 26, 2016 at 2:43 pm

    Nigerian job hunting is something!!! I thank God i got employed exactly one month post nysc and its been a little over a year now. But i have sat down countless times to think of what i would have been doing with myself had i remained unemployed..For someone like me who has been exposed to money ( clothing, soft home furnishing and bead making business from university days), i guess my only challenge would have been sourcing for enough funds to tend to my business properly inorder to stay afloat financially.
    I am of the school of thought that no salaried employment can really give a man that satisfaction he truly desires hence there is a need for young minds to think deep of what they love or are good at and turn it into something lucrative.
    There is a lot you can do when you empower yourself. Look inwards and find that thing you desire and can yield profit. I am not going to make a list of those business ideas because we know them but some of us are lazy and waiting for our parents to use thier connections for us.Be wise, this is 2016.

  • Ha February 26, 2016 at 2:48 pm

    Exactly why I will manage my $350 per week undertable job. I can’t be walking marina to ikorodu. By God’s grace doors will open for me very soon??

    • Toby Nwazor February 27, 2016 at 2:56 am

      Ha, $350 a week equals $1400 a month. That’s equivalent to 280k naira at the rate of #200 to $1. Omoh, which other job you dey look for? And who says you are managing? You are living large jor.

      Congratulations. Please consolidate on that job. I guess it’s an internet based business. Consolidate on it. You will make it!!!

  • whocares February 26, 2016 at 2:53 pm

    Ahh Tobs, LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Godwin o my brother. As for all those oloriburuku interview tests. Ahh! AHH (once more and in capital letters for emphasis) the CV, cover letter, the pre interview test (logical reasoning and verbal reasoning tests ? Me that I don’t know maths so all those geometric logical reasoning tests law firms liked to make you do I don’t even understand them) I would practise and practise.. ace the verbal aspect and then the second aspect comes, mo de ma di ode kale (I just become an instant mugu). I had to learn o, from my 13 year old cousin at that. she laughed and laughed.. wetin concern me, is it not to get what I want? now who is giving her money for shoes and chewing gum up and down is it not me? only because she helped me o. lol. Our experiences are different, but regardless of location, finding a job is a game of numbers. I want to change my job now and i have created a spreadsheet I call my “kill list” (I might as well have some fun right?) so far I have earmarked at least 50 firms and still keeping up research of firms I want to work with and I go from there… infact, I see “Dear Miss Whocares” in my sleep often now.. na so the rejection just dey come “whilst your CV is impressive, we fear…” . The funny thing is it does not phase me much and I dont take those rejections personally.. I usually go back to the drawing board and try to see what I did wrong and adapt it. It is a good way for me to know what to do better, and then I put the suggestions in my spreadsheet.. . SO get a spreadsheet, or a note book. Put in your prospective companies and why and as much research about them as you have done, that helps. I also have no shame calling up the company asking for why they refused. Most times it could be something as simple as they are not recruiting, so don’t let the rejections get you down.
    You didnt even talk about the things we also do in preparing for the job whilst hunting- I have honest to gods read a book on how to shake hands in a professional setting, how to smile and what body language during interviews. lol.
    ps: is jobberman a decent recruitment website in Nigeria? I see it everywhere and I have always wondered about it and how do you realistically know about job opportunities in Nigeria? are they online or word of mouth?

    • Toby Nwazor February 27, 2016 at 2:53 am

      Gbam gbamer gbamest!

      You made serious points dear o. I love your way jare. Who cares about who is laughing at you when you have a goal. If it is from a 10 year old nko? I remember my last brother who was in primary school back then. The guy is a genius in quantitative reasoning. I used to take some questions to him sef. I send?

      What I love most about your comment is the excel spread sheet stuff. You are so right. Many times, success in any venture at all is a game of numbers. The more you attempt, the ‘luckier’ you get.

      I will apply it. Though in something different.

      Thanks for this

  • changing moniker February 26, 2016 at 3:12 pm

    Hi Whocares,
    A lot of recruitment opportunities are online… Check out Hotnigerianjobs and Ngcareers they give very updated information about vacancies..

  • changing moniker February 26, 2016 at 3:17 pm

    Hi Toby, you’re a really good writer. Your posts usually make me smile /laugh.
    I know how searching for a job can be, but I was a but lucky in my case (divine favour). I only had to sit at home for 3 months post Msc. During that time I stopped searching for an engineering job as I had applied to all the companies that posted adverts and started applying to schools to teach mathematics.
    So my advise is while we know that job searching it’s a job, it is better to look for something to do while searching, I.e teaching, tutoring, etc. Because even when those companies call for interviews, they would most likely go for someone who has been doing something while searching for a job instead of sitting at home 2yrs post Nysc.
    Besides as a teacher, you have a lot of time to yourself to continue you job search.
    All the best to every job seeker out there.
    NB: NAIRALAND (Job /vacancy section) should become your friend.

    • Toby Nwazor February 27, 2016 at 2:58 am

      “Hi Toby, you’re a really good writer. Your posts usually make me smile /laugh.”

      Dancing azontoforjesus. Thanks changing moniker. You are gem.

      Your advice rocks too. Kudos!

  • Busayo February 26, 2016 at 3:30 pm

    This one reminds me of naijasinglegirl

  • boboj February 26, 2016 at 4:06 pm

    ALL IS WELL

  • WonderWonder February 26, 2016 at 5:04 pm

    My latest story is from a crook company called H******* C****. A lot of you may have seen their job placement ads on jobberman and co.

    That was how I applied. They sent me a congratulatory letter. I did my first interview which was a phone interview. They called from “New York”. I passed. Two days later, I had a Skype interview from this same “New York”. There was a final one with the CEO. I made it.

    Next they said training would start on February 1st. The confidentiality agreement was the same ones you would sign if you worked at a sweat shop. They can demote/transfer/sack you without cause bla bla bla. The bus came to pick us at Chocolat Royal on the first day of training. Non-AC bus. With a crude driver that was blasting dancehall music. The “Ojora House” training address turned out to be a PRIVATE RESIDENCE!!! The training room itself has some parts of the food falling off. Heat nearly killed us. This was to be the norm for 3 whole weeks.

    The bus would never contain us all. Lots of people had to be finding their way to Badore daily. The lunch was nice Jollof rice and cube-sized chicken on most days. You practically had to beg for water if the ones laid out finished. The reading materials and assignments were too many. It was too demanding.

    After three grueling weeks, this idiotic company informs us that the job is COMMISSION-BASED! Meaning no salary. Here is the breakdown of the stipend they offered and this runs during the 6 months probation period ONLY- 30k for transportation, 5k for wardrobe, 2.5k for Internet and calls, 7.5k for allowances. This company sells “LIXURY GOODS”. Their “HEAD OFFICE” is in New York. They carry brands such as Brikk, Hoc, Master and Dynamics, Stockinged, Alexandra Llewelyn, Kilian Henessy etc. their website is {Redacted}

    This company is all washing and packaging. That’s how they wasted our time and money, raised our hopes for nothing and suffered us. This stupid package to sell luxury goods to “Africa’s most powerful men”. So I should enter keke from their surulere office then stop In front Mike Adenuga’s Banana Island house wearing my 5k okrika shirt then proceed to market him a $150k Stockinger safe when I’m looking like poverty atink?
    Idiot company. Fraudulent people who came from NY to look for slaves here. As for the CEO called I. A-B, well done you hear. Your packaging no make brain. Job man of the highest order.

    • WonderWonder February 26, 2016 at 5:06 pm

      *roof falling off

    • Toby Nwazor February 27, 2016 at 2:47 am

      30+5+2.5+7.5k na 45k. My dear dey tried o. Compared to those drug selling companies, where you don’t get kobo, dey try well well. I understand your frustration shaa. It’s better not to raise someone’s hopes than to raise and dash it heartlessly without consideration like that.

      My candid advice? If you have nothing better at the moment, take the job. Do it professionally with the whole of your heart. Selling ain’t easy, and most of us will run from it. But there’s no rich or successful man today that doesn’t sell something.

      Take the job. Learn the products. Strategize on how to maximize your tfare. I mean, rather than going from VI to IyanaIpaja in a day trying to make sales, just go to a particular location in a day and save your cost. Selling is a game of numbers (anywhere in the world). If you speak to twenty people, one will likely buy especially if you believe in the product.

      Practical example: Go to a place like NIMASA in apapa. There are hundreds of staff working there. Before you market all of them, some must buy whatever it is the company is really selling. At the end of the day, at all at all na winch.

      Why I am advocating that you take the job is because it will teach you how to make sales. Go in with that attitude,. Forget the company. You are the president and CEO of your own ‘WonderWonder’ International Company, and as of the time being, your goal is to learn how to make sales. You know why, no matter the business you start tomorrow, it will die if you can’t sell.

      So get the job. Give it a few months. learn what you can, and before you know it another opportuntiy will come.

      Mind you, selling is a great way to meet people you would never meet on a normal day. And meeting the right people is one indispensable key to being successful If you doubt me ask Justin Beiber or Whiz Kid sef.

      Good luck dear

    • Fakemakeit February 28, 2016 at 8:14 pm

      A lot of these companies don’t have a clue on how to sell ‘luxury’ your sales man can’t be looking and smelling like struggle then expected to deliver sales from HNIs. Seriously who is going to give them the time of day? You gotta look the part 90% of the time, least they can do to ensure success is provide sales agents with a minimum of 5 good quality key wadrobe pieces such as shoes, belts, watches, bag and good shirts. Based in New York I’m sure the company can access discount stores.

  • chinny February 26, 2016 at 5:07 pm

    Tobz na you suffer pass o. Lol

  • Oluwadunsin February 26, 2016 at 5:11 pm

    But why search for a job frantically like this, Instead of looking for jobs, let us create our own jobs, it’s not easy but we can start somewhere, I graduated from school last year, I haven’t even done my nysc but I’ve ventured into snail farming and I’m making sales, the profit is not much but at least it’ll save me from being entirely broke. After service, I’ll invest more in it and at the same time look for a job too, so I can get money from two sources. I believe youths should starts their businesses even if it is small to keep body and soul together else this nija wey we dey so? make hunger no go kill person o. That said, pls patronize me if you reside in lagos for the best packaged snails, 08102247464 or send a mail to dd4damidunsin@yahoo.com

    • Toby Nwazor February 27, 2016 at 2:54 am

      Oluwadunsin. May God bless your hustle jare

  • Oluwadunsin February 26, 2016 at 5:12 pm

    start*

  • Ijay February 26, 2016 at 6:47 pm

    My dear, job search is indeed a job on its own, e no funny to find job oo. Thank God u finally got a job… I love the article, it’s a huge comic relief #laughingoutloud#

    • Toby Nwazor February 27, 2016 at 2:28 am

      Thanks for reading Ijay. I’m glad you enjoyed it

  • LostInSpace February 26, 2016 at 7:29 pm

    Nice write up but stories like this won’t make you blame some Nigerians that are desperate to leave the country by all means. In wande coal’s voice, sope ti e

    • Jenny February 26, 2016 at 10:06 pm

      Leave the country and continue suffering. I don’t understand naive and ignorant people who think getting a job outside Nigeria is easy. Sorry for people who think so. You see people who have good degrees working at grocery stores, you see people who do rickety jobs not because they want to, but because they have to. You see people apply to as many corporations as possible and get rejection letters all the time via email. You see people who plan ahead and still nothing. You see people with superlative degrees like ICT, Economics, Geology, Engineering, HRM, Finance, Real Estate etc, ask them what they do, they tell you and you won’t even be able to sleep for days. Heck, some are even jobless with bills to pay. Getting a job anywhere in the world is damn hard and can be extremely frustrating, sit down there and think it’s only Nigeria. It’s only by the grace of God, and perseverance. They’re people who are very optimistic no matter how sad their situations are that the eventually succeed. My point and epistle? Getting a job outside Nigeria is just as hard or twice as hard as Nigeria. Some people are only blessed and lucky.

      • Toby Nwazor February 27, 2016 at 2:37 am

        That’s an eye opener Jenny. preach it! There are countless people who left naija for ‘greener pastures’ only to find out that the grass is not so green on the other side.

        But one thing that always pays no matter the side of the globe you are in is hardwork, determination and persistence in pursuit of your vision. No matter what it is or where you are, it will pay you.

        Cheers

    • Toby Nwazor February 27, 2016 at 2:27 am

      LostInSpace so there is internet access in space? Which network abeg?? #Kidding. I understand you jare. Presently I want to leave the country. But no be job hunt wan pursue me, na NEPA.

      Two nights ago, right in the middle of a writing job, my battery died. It was so painful. I have been trying to manage the blackout in my area by taking my laptop to church to work. But that night own pain me well well. And I don’t have a generator. I had to go to one of my neighbors and give him money to buy fuel so I could at least finish my work. Even as I write now sef, na rechargeable I dey use. It’s painful.

      When I imagine that some people in other parts of the world have never experienced a blackout, I get enraged. For that reason alone, I will gladly leave Naija o.

      • Jenny February 27, 2016 at 12:22 pm

        Thanks Hun. God bless you.

      • Nma February 27, 2016 at 12:25 pm

        Toby, I have actually experienced a black out and I like in North America.

        Nice article!

  • muyiwa February 26, 2016 at 7:52 pm

    Never begged to apply for once but hustler and now ceo,just look inward as all of us cannot do a white collar job.

    • Toby Nwazor February 27, 2016 at 2:48 am

      You are absolutely right Uncle Muyiwa. I love your way jare

  • Dimples February 26, 2016 at 8:27 pm

    Hmmmm…. Tobylicious! Good one there! My experience? I got a job with a lawfirm and being the only lawyer there, the man turned me to both his secretary and messenger. I didn’t have anything like leave ooo… I worked all year round. He would threaten me if I ever took a day off.

    One morning he decides he has had enough of me and told me he no longer needed my services. I heaved a sigh of relief. I spent a month at home before I got this present job.

    Like most people have written here, the truth is you can’t get wealthy working for someone else. The best they can offer you is money to sustain you till the next month… Some people’s take home pay stops them at the busstop it doesn’t take them home.

    I’m glad I spent my 1 year NYSC acquiring skills on catering and baking, small chops and cocktail drinks. I know these skills will come in handy one day soon. .

    • Toby Nwazor February 27, 2016 at 2:34 am

      Dimpilicious Dimples. Why didn’t you tell me that your boss was misbehaving make I come whoose am one backhand, lol.

      You inspire me jare. For those who don’t know. Dimples is a wonder woman that was able to discipline herself and lose Xkg in about 24 months. Where X is about 50kg or more (in my opinion). This wonder lady runs more than twenty kilometres every weekend in lagos, eats low calorific food etc. Time will fail me. But dimples eh, ‘ yaf tells you’ what to do oh. You shouldn’t be talking about jobs again o. You are a CEO on your own it’s just that you never start your company.

      ‘Dimples Health and Fitness Academy Inc’.
      Barr Dimples
      CEO

      #Winks. You rock girl! I believe in you die! And I know you will make it!!!

      • Dimples February 27, 2016 at 10:02 am

        Hahahahahaha! ???…. Awwww… Toby… Thank you for believing in me….. You “haf tell” me what to do plenty plenty times…. I will start hearing word now… I am still a “WIP” work In Progress… Thank you….

  • Kemi o February 26, 2016 at 9:39 pm

    Lol, I love this guy. Junior waec GMAT???

    • Toby Nwazor February 27, 2016 at 2:17 am

      My dear, you needed to have seen the kind of complex questions they asked o. Most of them were complicated looking diagrams. After drawing a diagram, they will put numbers in some places and now put question mark in one place like that. You go look all the numbers finish, you no go see the relationship with any of them. How I wan take find the answer? Na dem know where dem dey get all those questions. But it’s not like that for all the aptitude tests o

      God pass them shaa.

  • Ayoka February 26, 2016 at 10:14 pm

    Hugs to all the job hunters out there. People should look into creating their own jobs. Which brings me to – I have a cousin who is looking for a job in lagos and has a car. I suggested being an Uber driver and he said lailai it will spoil his market with the babes. Isn’t that a shame

  • Serena February 27, 2016 at 1:20 am

    Nice write up! Am still searching for a job since 2014…. I know this March by God’s grace I will get a job..

    • Toby Nwazor February 27, 2016 at 2:14 am

      Amen Serena. In fact I join my faith with yours. But as you search, look out for side hustles. Check out my Bella Naija post on “how to survive a dwindling economy for ideas”.

      Good luck

  • Motunrayo February 27, 2016 at 3:19 am

    It’s the same everywhere. I got my masters degree here in the US and it took me over 500 applications and 5 months to get my first job that paid $10/hr and it was a seasonal job o. I took it and kept pushing on, still applying everyday. I got a new job that paid double that during my last week on the previous job, I was ecstatic.

    I was under pressure from the folks after a year to move to nig and I listened to them, mostly cos my bag was in lagos. I moved back, got married and stayed in nig for 7 months and the same joblessness followed me so I started doing online applications to yankee jobs again cos I was tired. After 4 months again, I finally got a few Skype interviews and flew in for one that got really far (thank God I had bought an open ended ticket). I was fortunate to get the job (even with my visible baby bump) and have my H1b visa transferred and even got a 70% bump in pay from my last job.

    Anyway the morale of my story is that, while its hard everywhere to get a job, you should be willing to start from somewher. And sincerely having tasted job searches in both Nig and the US, it’s so much worse when you have to send applications with funky Internet and the once in a while generator. Ko easy. But over here, at least in my own experience, if you persevere there is usually light at the end of the tunnel and it doesn’t always involve waiting for 3 years after NYSC. God help us.

  • Motunrayo February 27, 2016 at 3:20 am

    Bae*

  • Kaycee February 27, 2016 at 7:32 am

    Well as for me am grateful to God for his grace and favours, I didn’t have to really look for a job for so long… It happened that just some few days to the end of my nysc I got a message for a job interview which I applied for during my service year, it was scheduled to hold a day after our passing out parade, so immediately I laid hold of my nysc discharge certificate I left abj where I served to the state where the interview was scheduled to hold, the next day after the interview I left, two weeks later i got a call to come for another interview with a private company in abj and i attended and got my first job which paid 60k and three weeks into the job the first place I went for interview called to tell me that I was one of the successful candidates and gave me a better offer, so I resigned from my current job and accepted their offer, God has just been merciful to me and his favours abound in my life…For all those still job hunting, I pray that God who made a way for me where there was no way, may he give you a surprise job that will wow both your friends, family and Foes.

    • Nma February 27, 2016 at 12:27 pm

      That’s great. Congratulations Hun!

  • lewis February 27, 2016 at 10:13 am

    Hahaha… dis experience you av penned down here, is something almost every job seeker has gone through, I think out of desperation most times we fail todo background check on the companies that send us invites for a test…. i think new job seekers should always run their invites that look fraudulent on Nairaland.com, cos dts wat helped me fish out some of these scams… well my worst experience in the job search was very demeaning… Na my cousin invite me o! He just told there is disnew oil companywhen de enter town tha this friend knows the person doing the recruitment and suggested ifollow him go for the interview. Na so me n my guy knack our suit n tie waka go d said hotel d firstday, n wen we called d person he claimed we camelate, he now asked us to come the following day on time n guess what that day was xmas, i dunno y we didnt see d signal den but out of desperation before the slated time we were at dhotel onthe xmas day for d interview….we called d recruiter n he told usto wait dat he was comin down to pick us… finally a lady came n she picked us to d place, which was a church behind d hotel, now dis church wasnt tush in anyway but we said mk we fire down… to cut d long story short d stuff was a GNLD networking thing de started talking about and dperson even talking to us couldnt even mk proper tenses, was dressed shabbily and I doubt d guy don even enter or seeuniversity gate… we almost broke d guyshead cos of d fraudulent act o, but finally na d hustle na so we let him be, n just left him. N his ppl… we felt really bad say person fit use our headlike dt… but i guess God wanted me to have d whole unemploymnt struggle experience lol… I got an offer 2days after dat from an interview i went for earlier dt month…. so dts my worst experience

  • ucylo February 27, 2016 at 10:25 am

    Thanks Toby, would send you an email soon.

  • rony February 27, 2016 at 10:47 am

    This getting a Job ehen, is more than a job o . seeing several openings and never been contacted. I constantly tell myself positive things o whenever discouragement sets in. It is well

  • Latino February 27, 2016 at 4:21 pm

    I leant a lot from all ur comments. Some of the comments are scarey for people like me that just left school last year. All the same entrepreneurship. Is the best.

  • Mine February 27, 2016 at 4:48 pm

    That was for @ucyclo, thanks.

  • Stephanie aka Anita February 27, 2016 at 11:02 pm

    Hmmmm, Toby always killing it with his writeups. Well done
    Lucky me dint have to look for job after school and service *_not related to any staff* but 6 months post NYSC, I realise I need to become my own boss ASAP

  • Jay February 28, 2016 at 1:47 pm

    Forget# abourit, called to the Bar 2014, worked a year in benin, then moved to lagos January. Ive been applying since call so i decided to movein to the scene.
    within this few months ive seen most of VI and lekki. Mehn, ive told myself i am gonna enjoy the process. I smile to theNo and never fail to compliment whomever i am asking for the job.you no go reject my compliments na.
    Though nothing for now,but hope dey.na sun me get serious issue with. Lol

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