Tonto Dikeh Encourages Singles to Open Their Eyes to People Who Aren’t Their Type

DeAngelo Webster_Wife Not His Type_BN 2016Tonto Dikeh posted this viral Facebook post on her Instagram page and talked about how she used to make the wrong choices regarding men, and encouraged singles to open their eyes to their blessings.

This is so profound!
I know most of us have a type.
However,some of us may final realize our type is full of SHET! We’ve got to stop being so superficial. The king or Queen you’ve been praying about may be wrapped in unfamiliar decoration.
Open your eyes and be Open minded so you may not miss your gift…They may very well be in your presence.. #Majorkey #Mytype use to be FLASHY and they always came with these package (Lies, broke asses, Fraudsters, Fake, And always making me do the spending)

95 Comments on Tonto Dikeh Encourages Singles to Open Their Eyes to People Who Aren’t Their Type
  • Malina February 6, 2016 at 11:23 am

    I understand her point, but how long can it last if there’s zero sexual attraction?

    • Anthony February 6, 2016 at 4:48 pm

      @Malina; The Irony of your statement is “Sexual Attraction” is the most short lived quality in a “proper long term” relationship. Two of you will eventually age,the looks and curves will fade and sexual attraction ALWAYS dulls after long enough it’s simple biology. You need more than Sexual Attraction. You need loyalty,trust, confidence,understanding and compromise. These are the true foundations of love. When you see a couple in their 60s,70s,80s still going strong that’s how they arrived there.

  • Cindy February 6, 2016 at 11:24 am

    So Toto too is now advising us? Issorai.

    • Kellyfavoured. February 6, 2016 at 1:52 pm

      Lol. Tonto is very experienced in the heart break hotel o. As for me, I’ve never really had a type. All I wanted was someone to love me unconditionally and that’s what I got. We are far from perfect but we’ve been together for 15 years. #loverules.

  • Dream girl February 6, 2016 at 11:29 am

    This is really speaking to me…………….. I always had a type, fine, sharp dresser, Yoruba, educated, rich etc. yes Iv dated my type but they ended up always cheating on me and breaking my heart countless times. As I entered my early 30s, my list had to be refined bcos I realised if I kept chasing dis dream of my type I may enter my 40s still single. I had to open up my heart to get to know men that weren’t my type. Education and financial security was still important to me, but I had to leave all that fine and sharp dresser and look more into a good man that will be a good hubby and father. I am Yoruba currently dating an Igbo guy which Iv never done before, he dresses well, but I’m not chasing d fine boy dream again, he’s a bit older, has a son who he’s an excellent father to and he treats me well. So far things are going well. So many women remain single and may never marry bcos they keep chasing dis dream man that they may never find, or doesn’t even exist. The fact is ur not perfect urself, so why keep chasing after the perfect man.

    • Ije February 6, 2016 at 11:13 pm

      Girl, you just spoke to my heart. My own problem is that I’ve been waiting, fantasising about this tall, handsome and rich Igbo guy, that would never come. I’ve met two amazing men, one from Delta, the other from Rwanda. They are not physically my type, but both are perfect gentlemen – caring, gentle, don’t seem like the cheating type, and want to give me anything I could need. I think I will decide to commit to one of them. And before you all judge, no I’m not sleeping with neither. But I just need to choose one and be off this single aisle already.

  • Latifa February 6, 2016 at 11:33 am

    This is so true thou……

  • Aboki’s wife February 6, 2016 at 11:50 am

    My type – tall, pot belly ?, light skinned, ibo very outgoing, at least 5 years older and very sexually experienced.
    My husband – Hausa, skinny ( with the cutest bum though) black ( not even dark skinned) reserved, only 3 years older and was a virgin till we got married. But I wouldn’t change him for the world. My very own aboki- as my sister calls him,

    • Ije February 6, 2016 at 11:15 pm

      awwwwwwwww……….. cutest description 🙂

  • Cele-Ijesha February 6, 2016 at 11:54 am

    Nigerian girls always trying to pass exam after the end of semester. Iwo yi la’ro yin. No, make una dey find type, by the time market close, na for aboki kiosk una go go buy soup things. Tonto Dike, gbayi.

  • Ebere February 6, 2016 at 12:06 pm

    My type: Tall,handsome, light skinned, GQ kindda dressing, caring and rich( at least he should not feel inferior because of my salary and profession)

    My husband: Average height, dark (As in black as dark), Doesn’t really care about how he looks but slays whenever I pick out his clothes, income is perfect, and the most loving man I have ever meet, I won’t trade him for anything in the world.

    My Point is that what you want might not exactly be what you need………….

    • Nnechi Spicy February 6, 2016 at 4:22 pm

      I tell you we’re married to brothers in the dress/style dept. My DH is my type. The only thing lacking is he’s not romantic.
      Village man!

  • Chichi February 6, 2016 at 12:26 pm

    My type: tall, dark, handsome, physically attractive, educated (Iv league), ambitious, independent, smart,pedigree, class, treat me like a queen, family man, support my dream, make me a better woman, sense of style, smells yummy.

    My husband: tall, dark, handsome, physically attractive, educated (Iv league), ambitious, independent, smart,pedigree, class, treats me like a queen, family man, supports my dreams, makes me a better woman, sense of style, smells yummy, born again Christian, loves my family, older brother to my younger brothers, pushes my career forward. I could go on

    Moral of the story: don’t settle… Just bear in mind that it will take you a long time to find that one. Patience is key. Stay focused.

    • Iris February 6, 2016 at 1:40 pm

      First of all I’m glad stories like yours exist. However I hope that ‘IV league’ was a typo, especially as an Ivy League educated partner was so important to you.

      • FT MOMMA February 6, 2016 at 3:21 pm

        Iris….You just had to do that. Hahahahaha????

      • dior February 6, 2016 at 3:37 pm

        OMG. …abeg i cant laugh

      • Ayoka February 6, 2016 at 11:21 pm

        🙂 because her husband told her you need an invitation to get into an “IV” league

      • sika February 6, 2016 at 11:51 pm

        It probably was a typo. its good to see that in her effort to spread positivity..all you could focus on was a missing letter especially in this day and age of autocorrect..why assume the worst? Most will see only positivity in the message and move on..but you decided to be petty. its simply cannot give what you do not have. Sending love your way to cure your bitterness.

      • Chichi February 7, 2016 at 12:03 am

        It was a typo. Its interesting how you didnt focus on the message but got distracted by something so minute. I hope when mr right comes your way you won’t be distracted by unimportant things and then end up settling for so much less.

      • Iris February 7, 2016 at 6:05 pm

        @Chichi nah I won’t be distracted by unimportant details. You see, grammar and spelling are important to me. YOU consider them unimportant which I suppose is okay. On the other hand his ability to graduate from one of eight specific school in the world was important to you, which is perfectly fine for you. To me however, that is unimportant and minute 🙂

      • Chichi February 7, 2016 at 10:28 pm

        Well iris, since grammar and SPELLING is Important to you then be bloody consistent. What the hell is “nah” ? Pls take your bitter vibe somewhere else. Better still go and teach English for free to poor kids who need it since you have now become a human spellchecker..or start a spelling bee or something and find a way to monetise that rather than be a nuisance.

    • As Myself February 6, 2016 at 6:54 pm

      IVY League, please!

    • Ije February 6, 2016 at 11:21 pm

      hmmm… mixed messages here. How many of those tall, dark and handsome, treat you good and all the trimmings? How many are going spare? Not many… so how then do you ratio each woman to get her box of handsomeness?

    • Kd February 8, 2016 at 9:13 pm

      Chichi, I swear, we are the same..

  • Enny** February 6, 2016 at 12:31 pm

    My type; niger deltan, tall, light skin, beard gang, self employed, oh so attentive.
    Fiance; bayelsan, tall, light skin, over-beard-gang, owns business, not so attentive tho. LOL. Guess im just needy af

  • xag February 6, 2016 at 12:33 pm

    Leave this type story, all Nigerian women have a single type: tall, handsome, rich, funny, generous and religious, with a good job or an even greater business anything else is just extras. Whether they match up to the types they seek is another matter entirely. There’s a difference between having a type and living in Dreamland. Had a classmate that had a crush for some popular Hollywood actor when we were teenagers and set her standards accordingly and carried the madness to her adulthood, she still never find husband till date. Root your desires in reality first and then operate on your level. Can’t be looking like N10 and looking for a million dollars.

    • nene February 6, 2016 at 4:00 pm


    • red pill male February 6, 2016 at 4:21 pm

      An average woman will always feel she “deserves” a high quality man. Fair enough. But why an average woman would think a high quality man would want her is just laughable.

    • Ije February 6, 2016 at 11:22 pm

      Lollest-of-the-lols @ Can’t be looking like N10 and looking for a million dollars.

  • swiss February 6, 2016 at 12:43 pm

    My type: Tall, dark, rich, powerful dresser, charismatic, educated and handsome.

    My husband: Average height, bald, pot belied, averagely educated. He is very nice, God fearing , caring and faithful. He pampers me like a baby and take very good care of our children.We have been married for the past 20 years and i wouldnt change him for all the dangotes of the world

  • Sotee February 6, 2016 at 12:54 pm

    Funny how ladies that jst got married or engaged literally feel like they’re “OVERNIGHT” relationship experts!

  • i no send February 6, 2016 at 1:28 pm

    well said tonto.. i think this having “a type” Or “spec” as nigerians call it…. has put many ladies in a lot of emotional mess and turmoil ..time and time again esp when the spec is largely superficial ….but im surprisingly be married to 90% my type. tho..bliss

  • Ayo February 6, 2016 at 1:36 pm

    This is rubbish. By all means Have a type! Put your “type” in prayers, ask God for guidance and direction to your “type”, As long as you ask in faith ,and it’s in accordance to Gods will, you will get your “type” and live happily ever, even in the midst of hard times. Remember that when you ask and you don’t receive , it’s because you ask with wrong motives. (James 4:3) DO NOT SETTLE LADIES!!!!!
    Compatibility & Chemistry is VERY essential in marriages, don’t settle for endurance, when you can get full satisfaction.

    • Cele-Ijesha February 6, 2016 at 2:47 pm

      Mo sorry gan. U dont even understand the workings of Baba God. This type thing is just like lotto, Baba Ijebu. People who their type will match their expectation will be less than 1%. The rest will be near misses. Thats why they say many are called few are chosen. It is a trite spiritual axiom for every human endeavor. Even if you pray to please God gan sef, He will still give you the one He thinks is best for you in the long run. If you ask God for an IVy League and He gives you second division Nigerian League. Will you take him to the tribunal or petition the Holy Trinity? or say He is no more God? Alagba, dont use your reality for others, because onikaluku get im own path.

    • Ayo 2 February 6, 2016 at 2:51 pm

      He who finds a woman…Did God say He who finds a type?
      Too much knowledge is worrying your brain.

      What if your type is not God’s will for you?

      ctrl shift jo

    • Anthony February 6, 2016 at 5:02 pm

      @Ayo; It’s your type of advice that leaves many women still searching many years after their potential partners have come and gone. Then they’ll be at Shiloh listening to drivel from the likes of you. The simple Greatest relationship advise to anyone is this. If you are not ready to make COMPROMISES you will be searching for all eternity. It is a simple fact of life that affects every facet of what we do. Be at work,in business or marriage. That idea of the perfect situation and perfect person will only ever exist in your head and there’s room in reality for it.Quote bible till you have white hair it won’t change what is. You have to make the best of any situation you have. There are obviously times when it’s not feasible like when there’s abuse or dangerous personalities etc. Outside of being in Mortal danger if you are not willing to work and make compromises in a relationship you will be destined to be on the relationship market place way past your sell by date.

      • Ayo February 6, 2016 at 5:39 pm

        Your type of advice is the one that leaves a woman rushing into marriage in the name of manage, and rushing out when unhappiness becomes the norm. COMPROMISING only works best when u find that one, you are compatible with.

  • DanD February 6, 2016 at 2:06 pm

    I had my type too ooh.Jean and glasses wearing guys with swag untill I met d hubs,na den I come kw say d diff is clear.

  • @edDREAMZ February 6, 2016 at 2:26 pm

    Making sense post though but my type must be tall and chocolate though…..

    • Tai omo yoruba nimi February 6, 2016 at 6:11 pm

      chinedu, i am tall and chocolate,how can we get in touch?

      • Cele-Ijesha February 6, 2016 at 8:14 pm

        Jasi one time, no dull, ˆ. If you need some mixture to ginger u, Holla

    • Sweetsie February 7, 2016 at 6:21 am

      EdDreams is a Lil boy o. jail bait loll. No let police come arrest you. I just checked his IG ? also, be ready to propose to him loll. He prefers his woman propose to him SMH.

  • Damseldam1 February 6, 2016 at 3:12 pm

    I used to have a “type” which got me an ex husband! Now the new interest doesn’t speak correct English which am still struggling on it as it so hard to just stay mute on a rocket science English for example he once said something like “I later come there” instead of “I later went there”. It can be so annoying because I don’t like correcting a grown man. Good thing is that he has it in mind to further his education and hopefully Polish his English as my dad is an advocate on good English. That’s the only issue I have other than that he is lovely, kind, God fearing, has a bright future (though he’s struggling now) and most importantly he loves my kids and they sees him as their friend. Also his family are the best you will want to have ad an inlaw despite the fact that I.have two kids

    • Perfect match February 6, 2016 at 5:42 pm

      With you saying and I quote, “they SEES him as their friend…” Maybe you two are a match made in heaven after all….?

      • damseldam1 February 6, 2016 at 8:32 pm

        errrrrr i do not think so….. so typical of you bye!

      • damseldam1 February 6, 2016 at 8:48 pm

        rather than reading and understanding what am saying you are looking for errors. awon monitoring spirits.

      • S-Nerd February 7, 2016 at 2:43 am

        You hella funny but homegirl don’t like em jokes so do apologize homie!

    • hahaha February 7, 2016 at 2:25 am

      Jenifa the razz illiterate despising Segun accent and grammar pot calling kettle black .Watch Jenifa Season 2 to understand what I mean. damseldam1 , my question is WHO LEARNT YOU HOW TO SPOKE. 🙂 🙂 🙂 , I wrote in the way you can understand , see your life 🙂

  • Noname February 6, 2016 at 3:14 pm

    No one likes short men? Kai poor short men, una don suffer. Even short men dey find tall women.

  • Pinkus February 6, 2016 at 3:17 pm

    Savage!!!! Bhuahahahahahahahah

  • busybee February 6, 2016 at 3:54 pm

    This was exactly what led me to marrying someone that I have to close my eyes and zone out when we’re having sex.

    Single girls please you are worth waiting to find someone you love. I gave up on myself and unhappiness has been living with me since I entered this marriage.

    • isabelle February 6, 2016 at 7:09 pm

      This spoke to me so much. I remember being with someone who was a nice guy, kind and attentive, but I had absolutely no feelings for him whatsoever! Yet I stayed because he was a kind person and I wanted to make the effort. when we had sex, I preferred doggy style so I could cry without him noticing. It felt soul crushing. I would never wish that on anyone. Yes don’t be shallow, but don’t settle because you’re afraid of being single. I’d rather be alone than having to endure a relationship. If the relationship brings your more stress than your solitude it is not worth it

      • Joey Oshare February 6, 2016 at 8:18 pm

        Wow , you story got to me on visceral level , just trying to imagine your reality . living with someone who doesn’t really make you feel alive , where there is that kind of vacuum . He sounds like a good man , I hope you have the courage to do what you feel is right someday . For your happiness and his as well .

      • Grace February 7, 2016 at 2:08 pm

        3 guys in my life right now
        The first is sooo generous, gives me a. monthly allowance and takes care of all my needs. I’ve told him I don’t love him but he keeps hoping I change my mind. We have never even hugged let alone done anything sexual

        The second is nice and generous too. Gives me an allowance same as my salary and takes care of almost every need. We have been ‘dating’. Well I’m having sex with him because I’m saving for my MBA and I need the money but I want to throw up anytime we hv sex

        There’s a third, I just met him and the chemistry is strong although we’ve quarreled once. I’m still checking to see if he’s a generous person and if he can do what guy 2 and 1 do, then I’m going exclusive with him.

    • Reply February 6, 2016 at 7:12 pm

      awww, hugs dear.. You may need to re-align your expectations and purposely focus on his positives and good sides which I am sure there are

    • Cyn February 6, 2016 at 10:33 pm

      Like seriously why do people think sexual chemistry and attraction is not necessary in a marriage ?? I have never understood that madness….
      Someone up there commenting “it fades away over time….” Granted the novelty probably does wear off after a while ….. But doesn’t mean I have to marry a bloody white-walker and have to zone out during sex because the sight of the fellow alone repulses me!
      Why are Nigerian women so repressed and taught to settle for mediocrity or below when it comes to marriage? Finances I can understand….(funny no one ever encourages marrying a broke man though, but will gladly encourage you to marry Shrek as long as he is loaded…”faithful and a Christian”

      Ladies don’t be deceived, sexual chemistry is IMPORTANT in marriage! If you have treat screwing your husband like a chore then honey, you married WRONG!!!! Regardless of how “nice” and wealthy he is!!!!

      I am 32 and recently passed up on a young guy who is really wealthy….as in….homeboy’s paper was lonnngggg for days, verifiable too not one of these silly boys faking it: my reason, no chemistry! He was shorter than me with heels on, and exhibited some bush tendencies I just could not get past! Oh and I never fancied him sexually either…..that to me was the deal breaker.

      I walked away because I refuse to sacrifice my happiness to please society. Most believe when you are 30 or above you need to trash whatever requirement you have and just jump at any thing that comes your way. Well thank you for your unsolicited concern, but I am not that desparate!

      I will rather be single and lonely than married and miserable!

    • Grace is a disgrace February 8, 2016 at 8:53 am

      Grace, you are a disgrace to womanhood!

      You have 3 men in your life that you are playing on and wasting their time. Paying you salary and you keep collecting when you know you dont have a thing for him.

      The second, you are sleeping with him cos of your MBA? hmm…. Dating two guys at the same time, sleeping with him cos of MBA makes you a prostitute, collecting his money when you wont date him makes you a deceitful person. You are working- cant you pay for your MBA? The first is paying you salary, what do you use that money for and your salary? but you have to collect from both and sleep with the second for your MBA

      The third, you have two already, still went on to accept to date the third. What do we call you? Am sure you are/will soon start sleeping with that one too. Waiting to know if he is as geenrous as the other two? am speechless!

      Your fellow girls wont shame you cos they will call that smartness, but know what? You are a prostitute, a deceitful person, you dont have any conscience and what you sow is what you will reap. Your name doesnt suit you, instead of bearing Grace, disgrace fits/suits you more.

  • nene February 6, 2016 at 3:58 pm

    not a fan of tonto but yeah, i don’t really have a type, but i like tall men. and not really attracted to anyone who isn’t black (no caucasians, asians,etc) but if i connect with someone, then everything else goes out the window.

  • Sotee February 6, 2016 at 4:44 pm

    @Damseldam1 pls dear, join ur man in attending the English classes, I dnt like correcting “Grown Women” either..

    • damseldam1 February 6, 2016 at 8:41 pm

      go sit down! i dont know why its paining you ? was i talking to you? just because you saw one error you are all hyper kmt. newsflash i was typing on my phone so you know how its like! so bye!!!!!!!

      • damseldam1 February 6, 2016 at 8:44 pm

        by the way the man in question told me that he mostly speak more in Yoruba and less in English so before you start talking like you know what i am talking about i suggest you take a chill pill and pass by!. awon amebos. kmt

      • Dami’s ‘friend’ February 7, 2016 at 3:20 pm

        used to have a “type” which got me an ex husband! Now the new interest doesn’t speak correct English which am still struggling on it as it so hard to just stay mute on a rocket science English for example he once said something like “I later come there” instead of “I later went there”. It can be so annoying because I don’t like correcting a grown man. Good thing is that he has it in mind to further his education and hopefully Polish his English as my dad is an advocate on good English. That’s the only issue I have other than that he is lovely, kind, God fearing, has a bright future (though he’s struggling now) and most importantly he loves my kids and they sees him as their friend. Also his family are the best you will want to have ad an inlaw despite the fact that I.have two kids

        Errr, no Dami. There were too many blunders for someone whose father purportedly is an advocate for good English. NOT advocate ON good English.

        Which am still struggling? Emm no, it’s I am or I’m.

        Struggling on?? Oopsie!! You must have meant struggling with!!

        As is so hard to!?? Warrahell? It is so hard you meant?

        Now the new interest doesn’t speak correct English which am still struggling on it as it so hard to just stay mute on a rocket science English for example he once said something like… Where is the full stop? Where are the commas? Where does the sentence begin and end?

        hopefully Polish his English… Polish or polish?

        Phew. I leave the rest for you Madam Polish another man’s English.

        I shan’t be back for your inevitable comeback so #byeDami

    • Megeve16 February 7, 2016 at 2:16 am

      Ppl like u that shows over sabi instead of enjoying the forum u looking into ppl’s right and wrong sentences .
      I reside in Europe and I speak two other languages than English my mother tongue, but unfortunately my English is no more good cos of the other languages I speak , so I supposed by reading my sentence now u will ask me to go and enroll for English classes cos u are a professor from bellanaija???. 3 language and good paid job talk the hand ??????????

  • Friday’s OtherChild February 6, 2016 at 6:06 pm

    People who have ‘settled’ always tell other people to ‘settle’. I was constantly told this when I was single. Almost everyone around me told me to lower my standards, but I refused because I knew my worth and I was steadfast in my belief to live the life I’ve been working towards in totality, including living and building it with the man of my dreams and I knew that man was out there. I met that man less than 2 years ago, got engaged to him after 6 months and got married to him last year. Guess what? He’d been looking for ‘me’ for a very long time too – Your ‘type’ is probably looking for ‘you’ too.

    I think it is one thing for your own requirements to change, or to reprioritise what is really important to you but deciding to live your life with a ‘compromise’ because other people tell you, you wont find what you’re looking for – I don’t find wise. What I do think is important is understanding what ‘type’ your ‘type’ is mostly likely looking for.. A partnership should be of equals, can you equal your ‘type’ in the things that are important to him or her? If not, it might be advisable to plug the gaps.

    • Californiabawlar February 6, 2016 at 8:22 pm

      Gbam!! Gbam! Gbam! Be the type your type is looking for!
      I have realized this. Firstly, I’ve never been one to long for hot guys! I’m not hot in any way shape or form! Pretty on most days, hot once or twice in a year (mostly on vacations) but definitely not the type of girl a really good looking outgoing suave man is looking for….not in these sweat pants and jacked up nails…nope.
      Another realization was to lax my standards with wanting a strong christian brother. This one took a minute for me to get. I’m just a regular girl who loves the Lord, I obey most commandments, repent often, STRUGGLE to pray everyday and go to church 1 and rarely 2ce weekly….I’m sha always working on being closer to Christ. Now why I spent my early 20s chasing spirikoko brothers who end up looking down at me like a sinner, I don’t know. I just had a discussion with regards to a guy who randomly stopped talking to me a few years back… I told my friend I genuinely think he prayed about marrying me and God told him not to… I for just pour sand sand for hin garri.

      Summary dey your lane!

      • Simi February 6, 2016 at 10:30 pm

        Loved your comment but need to say I love you!!! Too real.
        We are all on the journey, my dear. And I thank God we have sense to not pour sand in someone else’s gari. Or they in mine, for that matter. Everything good will come.

  • Emilia p February 6, 2016 at 6:14 pm

    God gave me d type of man I want.

  • Cheemah February 6, 2016 at 6:26 pm

    On point Tonto, I lyk d fact dat this is comin 4rm u 😀
    Quite unusual tho

  • Californiabawlar February 6, 2016 at 6:28 pm

    All the types I’ve read here are physical…
    My type; smart, intelligent, knowledgeable, a follower of Christ, sense of humor, ambitious and good teeth.
    Struggle bae: follower of Christ, good teeth. O tan!

    The flip side is that he comes with what most chicks list as types…he’s so tall, decent looking, clean, gentle and earns a decent pay. Things I could care less about…

    Is there anyone out there who’s done this kind of settling before? How can you cope with a man you think you’re smarter than? Lordy lord! My face is in a perpetual wince when we talk…it’s so hard o! Last night I said something funny/sarcastic, and it took him forever to get it… I swear humor and intelligence must be somehow connected…it shouldn’t have taken a rocket scientist to figure out what I was saying. It’s now even worse when he attempts to be funny…he just says a bunch of inappropriate stuff ??
    He’s a really good guy though, he really likes me…and the physical chemistry is there…so I’m really asking for advice. Is there some loophole somewhere in the system that allows for you to cope with this? or should I just carry my kaya as I’ve been doing for the past decade?
    I’ll add the AuntBella caveat: if you insult me, ogun laka aye will zap your baes IQ!
    Thanks ???

    • Bobosteke & Lara Bian February 6, 2016 at 9:45 pm

      Nne, I’m not an advising person o. That one no be my forte at all. I shall only speak from hexperience.

      My “toaster” (for lack of a better word) did not understand subtle nuances of language, play on words and like you, I had to explain jokes and other related conversations to him. One time, after I felt I had made a particularly ardent plea on an issue, bros looked at me and said please can you summarize. I just weak. I no even bother again sef. And eventually told him there was no vacancy.

      From the level of craze you dole out, you need to have that banter and i think it would be lovely to have that wth your mate. He does not have to respond the same way ( your neighbours would always be calling 911) but at least his having an intellectual understanding would give free rein to your expressions instead of the constipated one you have now. Compromise this or that but I drew the line at someone I could not laugh with as i found myself subconsciously subletting that aspect of our friendship to another toaster in the making. Lets not even mention the fact that he could not speak well, had no understanding of social niceties. All that paled in comparison to the care and attention he showed me. But for this aspect, I was not willing to compromise. Ha mean, if I cant laugh with you, what there is left?

    • Simi February 6, 2016 at 10:40 pm

      Tor. Intelligence is key oh. I have walked away a couple times for this reason.
      In fact, the wittiness that you desire is exactly because that is a way to measure intelligence.
      Can’t advise you, though because I haven’t overcome this struggle in my own life. I have heard it said that some things you can teach, sha. Pele.

      That teeth matter, I didn’t know other people rate it like I do oh. Plus, hands or fingernails kpa kpa. I feel like if you pay that much attention to little details, then you are also detailed in keeping your finances, (mi o wa onigbese that I will be covering for), in general hygiene and so on.

    • Oluwabusola Adedire February 7, 2016 at 3:17 am

      It will worry me to marry someone I’m smarter than ??. I think it is the worst ?

    • californiabawlar February 9, 2016 at 1:00 am

      Thanks guys! This matter no get quick resolve…but if I know myself I will sleep and wake up one day and just stop taking calls and messages…ummph.

  • As Myself February 6, 2016 at 6:59 pm

    Wallahi! ???

  • Suezannah February 6, 2016 at 7:15 pm

    Not all Nigerian women want a religious man abeg. Some of us are non conformist who don’t give a f- about the monotony that organised religion brings. I live my life with one single moral code “do unto otherso what you want done to you ” All the commandments in all the religions of the world boil down to this. From thou shall not murder to thou shall not commit adultery. It’s simple, if you do not want someone to take your life, don’t take anyone’s. If you do not want your spouse to commit adultery, don’t do the same Yout don’t need religion to be morally upright. #Do unto others#

  • Akanke February 6, 2016 at 7:32 pm

    I don’t even have a type… just be tall… I ain’t raising minions and toys for kids. And have cute lips… ?

    • Hammer February 7, 2016 at 11:27 am

      You can get impregnated by a giant and still give birth to dwarfs. genetics is like a lottery. Don’t get it twisted

  • damseldam1 February 6, 2016 at 8:47 pm

    rather than reading and understanding what am saying you are looking for errors. awon monitoring spirits.

  • I luh God February 6, 2016 at 9:29 pm

    Never marry someone you are not attracted to. Once the attraction isn’t there it isn’t type is just be tall and dark nice and God fearing , with a good sense of humor. I met a guy who has all that but lacks the height. I love him truly but the height is an issue for me, but heck he will wear tall shoes for short men that adds 2.8 inches to height whenever we go out…. These shoes are amazing you wI’ll think it’s normal shoes.
    Thing is if you find someone that has all the inner qualities you want and the physical is something that can be worked on then by all means no crime in telling him or her to work on that.

    • Ayoka February 6, 2016 at 11:52 pm

      You’ve conditioned yourself to only be attracted to a certain type of man and that’s not very good

  • Aisha February 6, 2016 at 11:14 pm

    Ladies and guys, please don’t ever lower your expectations because time seems to be running out.
    Use that time time to be a better version of yourself daily, know who you are at the core, have a very high level of self awareness and self acceptance.
    I swear by God, if you are busy bettering yourself; time will go by so fast that you would never have a reason to fret about not seeing your type.
    Eventually, providence will create a way for you and your partner to meet and the rest will be history.
    This happened to me, so I know It is true and it works!

  • Ok I’ve heard February 6, 2016 at 11:20 pm

    So in conclusion Tontoh is saying SHE SETTLED AND IS WITH One that she’s “MANAGING” in these hard times. Afterall he’s rich that’s ALL that matters. Abi?

    . Good for you Tontoh. Very good

  • Whaaaaatttttttttt February 6, 2016 at 11:37 pm

    Thunder fire that thirty something year old who just Refered to TONTOH DIKEHS HUSBAND AS SHREK. How how how can you refer to him as Shrek. That’s why you will be single for the rest of your life. Your blessing is Permanently blocked cos of your attitude


  • Ironically February 7, 2016 at 1:33 am

    So I met a guy last month he had everything I wanted in a man, educated, intelligent, had a fantastic job/career. We were like soul mates. But he did not have the deal breaker which is Jesus( I mean searched for Christ and discovered Christ himself) and he drinks. Plus he accepted no sex before marriage but he then said he would be sleeping with his f buddies on the side. Well I already based my decision on the Jesus and drinking part. He told me about the f buddies much later on a date where he declared his intentions, date was a month after we met and I had been singing this Jesus and drinking issue weeks before that. He said he has dropped many girls in the past because they only possessed one of the 2 things he wants from a woman which is beauty and a career(career driven and not having a mentality to just depend on a man). To him I was the only girl he has met that had both but to me he did not have the only two things I required, how ironic this life is. Well I have let him go. I won’t settle there must still be a guy out there that is like me which is has Jesus and doesn’t drink or smoke, not a club or f boy, has a job/career, educated and taller than me. I dunno maybe I’m asking for too much.

    • Porto February 7, 2016 at 8:45 pm

      My dear, when you say drinking, what do you mean by that being a deal breaker? Is he an alcoholic? Does he have the tendencies to become one? I’m asking because at the end of the day, drinking is not a big deal. I’m a drinker myself and I cannot date a guy who doesn’t drink.I am not referring to rinking like an alcoholic or depending on alcohol every day of your life but if he is a social drinker, then that shouldn’t be a deal breaker. Don’t let a guy go just because he drinks every now and then. In more westernized cultures, drinking is a normal part of life so I don’t see why that should be a big deal except of course you have more personal reasons for disliking drinking. Even the bible says drink and be merry.

      • NoNeed February 7, 2016 at 11:59 pm

        Haba the guy said he will continue having sex with other women as a condition to not having sex with her until they get married. I see you said you wont date someone that doesn’t drink, it shouldn’t be hard to accept her decision to not date someone that drinks.

  • worried bae February 7, 2016 at 7:31 am

    this just got me, was introduced to a friend and for 3 months, though we haven’t met but we have been communicating well but the worry am getting is that he is 5;8 as he told me an am 5:5 so invariably i will be his height with heels, this had got me worried cos i like tall guys. mind u he has been caring and has goals which he is working towards an has been including me in his plans even when we haven’t met. what if i don’t like him physically after meeting him…hmm God help person ooo

  • hummmm February 7, 2016 at 1:32 pm

    Humm… Fantastic comments

  • nneka February 8, 2016 at 9:40 am

    hmmm, you were lucky u ! most times the package don’t really come in the exact desire and fantasy!.

  • busybee February 8, 2016 at 2:42 pm

    you are very correct. Attraction is very important, and I don’t think it can fade to the point where you will be repulsed by even the smell of the person. Please continue to put yourself first and everything else will fall into place at the right time. The women that don’t let the pressure get to them are stronger than those of us that jumped into fire because of family/societal pressure. I’m not even 32 yet 🙁

  • Mo February 8, 2016 at 3:09 pm

    @Californiabawlar please carry your kaya and keep it moving, you will eventually meet someone that ticks the right boxes for you by God’s grace. You can have a type, there’s nothing wrong with that but be flexible. DO NOT SETTLE!. Do not compromise on intelligent conversation and humour if that’s your type. I have broken up with guy because he was BORING (well one of the main reasons). I am married and I did not settle. If you are smarter than him, he will eventually bore you or he will think you are disrespectful most of the time (my opinion, nothing is certian). The best is still out there for you, do not bow to pressure. All the best.

  • Angiee February 8, 2016 at 3:21 pm

    @Porte, point of correction-drinking is not a normal part of life. She just listed what she desires in a life partner and here you are trying to make her see the impossibility in her request. That you drink does not mean everyone does. i have met a guy that doesn’t drink, doesn’t smoke and doesn’t womanize. And another strange thing is that he hardly gets angry. Such an amazing guy-though i have my reason for leaving.

    So, what am saying in essence is that it is very possible to find guys like that. As you have decided to marry someone that drinks, allow someone else to stand for what she believes in and not discourage her. God is able and well able to give us our heart desires.

  • Tinyan February 8, 2016 at 9:18 pm

    All I know is that my type is waiting for me at Harvard Business School… Future hubby, can’t wait to meet ya.

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