Prison Break Star Wentworth Miller Writes On His Struggles with Depression & How He Overcame Suicidal Thoughts

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Many do not know actor Wentworth Miller popularly known for his role in hit TV series Prison Break has had a history battling depression.

The 43-year-old revealed this on Facebook while reacting to a meme that showed his before and after pics. He also explained how he overcame suicidal thoughts he used to have.

This is not the first time Wentworth has written on his mental health issues. In September 2015, he wrote a long post on Facebook about how ‘routine is important to him’.

See his post below: Wentworth Miller

“Today I found myself the subject of an Internet meme. Not for the first time.” he wrote

This one, however, stands out from the rest.

In 2010, semi-retired from acting, I was keeping a low-profile for a number of reasons.

First and foremost, I was suicidal.

This is a subject I’ve since written about, spoken about, shared about.

But at the time I suffered in silence. As so many do. The extent of my struggle known to very, very few.

Ashamed and in pain, I considered myself damaged goods. And the voices in my head urged me down the path to self-destruction. Not for the first time.

I’ve struggled with depression since childhood. It’s a battle that’s cost me time, opportunities, relationships, and a thousand sleepless nights.

In 2010, at the lowest point in my adult life, I was looking everywhere for relief/comfort/distraction. And I turned to food. It could have been anything. Drugs. Alcohol. Sex. But eating became the one thing I could look forward to. Count on to get me through. There were stretches when the highlight of my week was a favorite meal and a new episode of TOP CHEF. Sometimes that was enough. Had to be.

And I put on weight. Big f–king deal.

One day, out for a hike in Los Angeles with a friend, we crossed paths with a film crew shooting a reality show. Unbeknownst to me, paparazzi were circling. They took my picture, and the photos were published alongside images of me from another time in my career. “Hunk To Chunk.” “Fit To Flab.” Etc.

My mother has one of those “friends” who’s always the first to bring you bad news. They clipped one of these articles from a popular national magazine and mailed it to her. She called me, concerned.

In 2010, fighting for my mental health, it was the last thing I needed.

Long story short, I survived.

So do those pictures.

I’m glad.

Now, when I see that image of me in my red t-shirt, a rare smile on my face, I am reminded of my struggle. My endurance and my perseverance in the face of all kinds of demons. Some within. Some without.

Like a dandelion up through the pavement, I persist.

Anyway. Still. Despite.

The first time I saw this meme pop up in my social media feed, I have to admit, it hurt to breathe. But as with everything in life, I get to assign meaning. And the meaning I assign to this/my image is Strength. Healing. Forgiveness.

Of myself and others.

If you or someone you know is struggling, help is available. Reach out. Text. Send an email. Pick up the phone. Someone cares. They’re waiting to hear from you. Much love. – W.M. ‪#‎koalas ‪#‎inneractivist ‪#‎prisonbroken”

Photo Credit: Science -all.com

18 Comments on Prison Break Star Wentworth Miller Writes On His Struggles with Depression & How He Overcame Suicidal Thoughts
  • Briishqueen March 30, 2016 at 8:16 am

    My people depression is real… and the worst part of it is that sometimes some family members don’t even understand you especially when you appear to be doing well in your career, they always refer to you as being successful and always try to ask you for things, they won’t call to know how you are doing and when you ignore them to fight your demons, they tag you as being selfish and not showing care aka money. This is my first hand experience and the funniest part of it is that I don’t even have the money they think I have. Sometimes I stay with 3k for a month and just drink green tea and starve till I make some money again but I won’t go about feeling entitled to someone or try to make my problems another person’s problem or curse anyone, I will stay in my shell and pain and cry myself to sleep hoping things will be better… or is it about my weight, I don’t eat but I get fat and I honestly don’t know why, trust me I don’t eat but people won’t fail to always point out that you are adding weight bla bla bla. The struggle is real. I like Wentworth thou when he was chubby than the toned look… lol… let people learn to spread love always and see good in people. It will help.

    • Sadreality March 30, 2016 at 9:28 am

      Hey, I agree with you re family not being there. I went through same where I would always give of myself to people; fam, friends, etc but during my darkest days, they were no where to be found and when I decided to withdraw to take care of myself I was deemed selfish for distancing myself and not being available when they called or needed me. How unreal of them and talk about pointing fingers?! I just ignored them, gave what I could and happily focused on God and healing myself. After all, I realized I gave too much off myself and they took it for granted. Now, just like them I am selfish with my time by devoting it to myself. Self love is the beginning of life. Amen

      Re food I wanted to mention you actually gain more weight by not eating. I used to be that way too until I found out how damaging it was. I turned it around. Stopped snacking and feasting on morsels of food in an attempt to diet and started eating more (small healthy meals almost 6 times a day – mostly veggies w/protein). I swear its like magic! I dropped weight instantly and have never looked back since.

      • Sky Blue March 30, 2016 at 3:48 pm

        I was just about to comment similar regarding food. I was the same too; I only ate once a day, yet the weight seemed to be steady creeping up. At 135lbs, I finally decided I needed to try something different before it got out of hand. Just two weeks in and I already see a major difference.

    • Hugs March 30, 2016 at 10:27 am

      Big hugs Briishqueen, you are most loved!

  • Sadreality March 30, 2016 at 8:32 am

    This is deep. I can totally relate. People need to be careful creating jarring memes all in the name of jokes. Depression is real and one must not celebrate the pain of another all because of gaining cheap laughs through memes. I am happy he found succour from food instead of sex, drugs or alcohol. It could have been a lot worst but glad he used the easiest form bc at least the weight can be lost but an addiction developed through drugs, sex and alcohol are firstly damaging, and almost always eternal and impossible to break free from. I found my succour in God when everything was bleak and I have never looked back since. Its a constant battle but I relish in the fact that God got me. No greater feeling for getting through a tough day.

  • Chi March 30, 2016 at 8:33 am

    Waoh! Awesome! tanx so much for sharing. alot to learn from ur experiences. we shd be kind to one anoda. cos we all r going thru one struggle or anoda.no one has it all.

  • esthie March 30, 2016 at 9:16 am

    true talk @briishqueen….

  • Ano March 30, 2016 at 9:17 am

    He was still cute as a fat man.

  • Her Royal Awesomeness March 30, 2016 at 9:35 am

    I’m guess that the first step of his coming out of depression was coming out of the closet and God knows I’m so happy for him and think he’s beautiful.
    I went through depression when my mom left us with our paternal grandparents and they maltreated us like shit,I starved myself sometimes just so my sibs would eat, it was super hard and i’d sometimes think of just ending it but then I’d remember that me and my siblings plan to be billionaires and if I left before them they’d probably write on my obituary “She gave up after telling us not to,she go hear am for heaven” and then I’d stop myself.
    I love this man, love of my life

  • Tolly March 30, 2016 at 9:37 am

    People go through so much and most truly do not care. Many Nigerians have reached the point of a high level of inferiority complex with material things. Equating having “designer items” with being successful or complete. This so called success is what Socrates referred to as vulgar success. We have a “I must belong and among”, for what though? To what avail? In trying so hard to achieve success and attaining false verification from people, many whom have no sincere care for you, you can loose yourself. You can get on the path of depression. The path of loneliness.

    You may not even have the desire to “belong” yet you struggle daily. This has been my plight for many years. As I type I just have £5. I will have to manage until Friday. My Jehovah Jireh always provides though so I have peace. Not sure what I will have for lunch but I am not worried.

    Having such worries, worries for things which we need not have leads to thoughts we should not have. You no longer care about the day to day things sometimes. Doing dishes, ironing, brushing your hair etc. Your state of mind is trouble. No one understands. They believe they do but everyone experiences the same situation differently.

    I have hope though for all things work together my good. If I didn’t have Jesus omo Lord knows what I would have done.

    • Bleed Blue March 30, 2016 at 5:49 pm

      Tolly please can I have your email address if you don’t mind sharing?

      And if you reply, please use the same name and email in the “post a comment” section so I know it’s you by your avatar.

      God bless.

  • Ibinabo March 30, 2016 at 10:05 am

    Depression is so real and getting suicidal is also very real… When depression took away the taste of my most favorite food was when I realized, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. We shouldn’t joke with it. Always speak up and get help.

  • Honeyposh March 30, 2016 at 11:05 am

    material things are trivial. Never complain and always be grateful to God ,common, you are still alive for a reason.
    I don’t overdo it,take 4 instance,a deep deep part of me loves clothes, walahi, i cant lie, but when i see people that don’t know were der next meal is coming from?
    I just beg God not to give me a resounding slap and tell him i am grateful
    Learn to be content, show love, show love and show love again,don’t always expect thank you or gratitude.
    You would be at peace with yourself
    Get to that place were you will be grateful for everything, by all means get der and remain der, every good thing will meet u der.
    Depression is real and is very very underrated in this region, but that doesn’t stop it from being real
    Always speak up

  • Papermoon March 30, 2016 at 6:05 pm

    A beautiful man…..

  • Attah March 30, 2016 at 9:11 pm

    I got depressed when I could not Finish my OND in Yabatech due to lack of Funds.I stopped school,Started working.Am 35yrs old now.Am about to get married.I still feel very sad and angry at myself.i did attend LASU,graduated in 2014,but still no certificate.Am Always ill for no reason.It got to a point I felt like Taking my own life.I love been alone.Am always scared of Tomorrow.Reviving my career now is just my concern.Am always praying to God for help,He has been helping but I still worry everyday of my life.This thing is real.People see you and want to be like you but don’t no what you are going through.God will definitely grant me peace of mind someday

  • Well March 30, 2016 at 9:27 pm

    Nys post n comments. Used to think depression is a ‘white man’s disease’, didnt knw i’v bn depressd witout knowing it a couple of tyms. Worst part of it all,as d frst prsn to comment sed,r d expectations. I knw God is evrrytin n we r to trust Him in all,bt smtyms u just wnt smone to listen n care or even pretend to,even if it’s jst for 5mins, to knw dt ure nt useless,hopeless,etc depression is real, n suicidal tot (n acts) usually accompany it; I knw,cos i’v bn tru it n still tryin to rise above it; let’s try showing sm care to dose arnd us,ask qstns u’v never askd n stp xpectin too much frm pple jst cos dey r in a position u feel dey shld give u,n most imprtntly,pray fr odas,even if u dnt knww dem

    • Sigh March 30, 2016 at 10:36 pm

      This was such hard work to read with all the abbreviations. I just wanted to try and make it to the end and I’m glad I did. My patience is increasing.

      That being said, I pray you come out of it soon. So self affirmations everyday in front of the mirror. I’ve heard it helps. Stay positive dear.

  • Tosin March 31, 2016 at 10:55 am

    he’s still VERY cute.
    btw many hollywood people gain weight between roles. when you have work, then as a profeshuna, you work on the whole person that needs to do the work, including getting in the shape people expect…
    fine boyyyy.

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