AUNTY BELLA -MS. CATER 2 ME
I’m sooo sorry that this is late.
Anyway, today’s Aunty Bella is a bit more light-hearted than our previous case, ‘Ms. Misery’.
My friend called me a couple of days ago and related her story to me. I then told her to send it to me, which she did.
She’s been complaining about this over the last couple of months but I think it has reached its boiling point. Please offer her some advice.
Dear Aunty Bella readers,
Please don’t laugh o!
Valentine’s Day is next week and all of us in relationships are making plans for what to get our boyfriends and girlfriends.
Me, on the other hand am just dreading another dry Vals day.
The bottom line is that my boyfriend is STINGY.
We have been together for 4 years and I cannot identify one significant thing that he has bought for me.
For the first 2 and a half years of our relationship, we were doing long distance so around Val’s day, he would just call and send me e-cards. The excuse being that since I was far away he couldn’t really celebrate it the way he wanted. For my birthdays, he would fly to visit me and seeing him was my gift! Shoooo, it was nice seeing him and all but a card or dinner wouldn’t hurt!
Ever since we both moved to Lagos, it has turned to another story. Suddenly he doesn’t even believe in Vals day. Last year, this bobo deliberately (he denies it was deliberate) planned a business trip to London during that period. Don’t let me get started on my birthday. You know those handmade cards they make in Nigeria, that was all he got for me. The way bobo was grinning and smiling when he handed me the envelope eh, honestly I thought it might be tickets for 2 to Paris. When we go out, I find myself paying for my own drinks and even paying for our dinner. He says we are partners and we both have jobs so there is no big deal after all it is 2007 and I am a liberated independent woman (those are his favourite words ooo)
I am not being materialistic but if you see the bobo, you will understand what I’m talking about. He buys the best of the best for himself. The most expensive watches, suits, phone, car, travels first class.
We used to joke about his stinginess a lot but now I am a bit worried that he might be spending on some other girl. Our relationship is good though, you know when you just feel completely at ease with someone, no complications, I just feel like I’m home when I am with him. Did I forget to mention that I make such a huge effort when it comes to celebrating his birthdays and Vals day.
Please help me.
We have never really addressed the issue head-on, should I bring it up? I know he has had some issues with gold digging girls in the past, I guess that is why I overcompensated at the beginning of our relationship with the whole ‘I’m an independent woman’ schick! HELP!
Ms. Cater 2 Me
Thanks for the comments so far!
Let me just give u a bit more info on the issue since I know both of them – like on the real, apart from this stinginess, he treats her very very very well. Like he is the kind of person that when I see them together, even at a party he makes her feel like the only girl in the place…holding her hand etc..Like I’ve been with her and he would just randomly call or text to say – he loves her and appreciates her. If she feels sick, he leaves work and goes to chill with her. I guess that is why this issue is very puzzling. I also second her statement on dude spending on himself….he looks like he just walked out of GQ but I agree he is very stingy. haba, I have stories from when we all go out together, he totally expects her to ‘handle’ her bills!