Here is another edition of BN Prose.
This one was submitted by fab and talented blogger: Shola Pacheco
In case you missed the first edition, click HERE
Story edited by BN
It’s been only three days into my visit,
I’ve been feeling so drowsy; I haven’t had a good night’s sleep since I arrived
The sound of the generator is doing my head in
There is only one thought comforting me, its two months to my wedding day
I intend to enjoy myself as much as I can and not even electricity (or lack thereof) can get in my way
My sweetheart is picking me up in less than thirty minutes so I have to get ready
Cant keep my bossy, egocentric mother-in-law to-be waiting or can I?
We are going shopping
I am seriously dreading spending time with that woman
Tokunbo comes in looking his best
I love this man!
His shaven head, his dark as smooth coal skin…
I’m such a lucky girl
For a moment, I just keep staring at him and wondering how this angel could have been brought to this world by such a woman
Black pot – white pudding
Anyway, I only have to humour her for another few weeks and am out with my baby
I always knew she didn’t like me
I once overheard her say it
She says I am not Yoruba
That I am not polished, after all I did not attend finishing school in Switzerland like her daughters
She even mentioned that I looked like someone who would get fat in the future
Anyway, who cares!
On the other hand, my future father-in-law, Uncle Akinola (well, in 2 months, he will become ‘Dad’), is already like my second father
Kind, cultured, well admired with a heart of gold
Good men, bad woman
Trust me, Tokunbo feels almost same as I do but he has never mentioned it
How can one speak bad of their own mother
As we approach Tok’s parents house, I keep reciting the Hail Marys in my head even though I have never stepped foot in a Catholic Church
I just can’t stand her
As we step inside the estate, I see her sitting in the garden
As usual she makes it seem like she is competing with me for Tokunbo’s attention
I hate to admit it but she looks good
If only she didn’t bleach then pancake her skin, she would look stunning
She just goes on and on about how she just returned from a shopping ‘tour’ – Tokyo, Dubai, London, Paris, Monte Carlo & Beverly Hills
‘Olatokunbo….should I wear my Dolce and Gabbana sunglasses or the Gucci pair?’
‘Toksy, black or gold sandals?’
‘TK, which fragrance should I use?’
On & on
She spends another 2 hours looking for what to wear
Then she starts
She just goes on and on about how she doesn’t like my choice of wedding gown
She says it looks cheap, it doesn’t look decent, and that it makes me look podgy & stout!
In my head, I just feel like being Laila Ali with this woman
It’s my wedding, if you don’t like it, don’t bother
Off we go to Oyeog fabrics, by the time we get there, I am still fuming!
Tokunbo just knows the right moments to throw me a ‘cool it with her babe’ glare
Thank God for him
As the day goes along, she just goes on and on changing every single idea I spent months working at
The colours of the aso-ebi, the designs, almost everything!
We soon get all we need; we drop her off at home
At that moment, I need my space, I ask Tokunbo to drop me off at Ada’s house
As soon as I get there, my phone goes off
Guess who it is, my Iya Eko, party-loving mother-in-law
I think to myself hasn’t this woman given me hell enough for one day?
‘Yes, Victoria I just wanted you to know you have to do some adjustments to your wedding gown I don’t like the way its shaped I want it loose a bit…yes very loose…’
‘but mummy I cant do that it will spoil the design and besides what if they stain the dress or ruin the beading?’
‘they wont, I have a friend who is a good tailor she had been practicing before you were born….she made several wedding gowns and for big BIG society weddings……’
‘ok ma, please lets discuss later….mummy…mummy….the reception here isn’t too good…..’
I hang up…
There is no way I am going to let some 1933 tailor lay a finger on my Vera Wang dress
After I spent 2 months of my hard earned salary on it
Now ………..am really going mad
I beg Ada to take me for a drive, I just need fresh air to clear my head
Ada has been driving around for a bit, we are approaching the Protea Oakwood Park Resort
Ada suggests that we pull into the hotel to have lunch…
I don’t even have any cash on me but Ada offers to pay
The atmosphere is peaceful, it is like people here don’t have worries
We are looking around and we end up at the hotel’s restaurant where we order
The food is delish!
The restaurant is becoming noisy compared to when we first walked in so we decide to walk around the resort…
Something catches my eye from a distance
Just a flash I think I see something
Yes I do
Lo and behold!
It is Tokunbo’s mum
Is this woman stalking me or something?
She is sitting down on a lounge chair dressed down in a pair of extremely tight embellished skinny jeans and a fitted red top
There she goes feeling funky again
She gets up suddenly and wraps her arms around a young man
She gives him a lingering kiss on the lips
That is definitely not Uncle Akin
…wow she was in the arms of someone else
Who would have thought?
Face painting, pancaking, show-off Mama Eko was getting her groove on with someone else
I keep staring and made sure Mama Eko sees me
It isn’t the best to do but she had given me enough grief for one day….
My phone rings all night….
I ask my younger sister to pick up
Mama Eko had called me all night
Not knowing what to expect, I call her up in the morning
The phone doesn’t even ring,
‘Hello Victoria …’‘
‘good morning ma……’
‘How are you, my darling…….
hope you slept well, iyawo mi, omo da da…….my darling…
I just wanted you to know that I love your wedding dress….and its okay just as it is…
It flatters your cute shape so much….
you know the first day TK showed me your picture, I admired your shape…
I wish I had such a dress and beautiful physique when I got married…
you don’t need to loosen it…..and the colours we picked for the traditional wedding, I think I don’t really like the colours again, we can go to the shop at your convenience to pick the other colours you wanted….’
I am flabbergasted!
I just say thank you and hang up
My heart was pounding after the call what do I do?
Am a new bride-to-be, with secrets on my mother-in-law
What do I do?
What if she plans against me……..