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The Facebook Chronicles on the Six Degrees of Separation



facebookHeaven knows when I joined facebook (FB) it was primarily to reconnect with those lost folks I have managed to survive this long without. Ok that’s half the truth. The other half: to laugh at the mayhem and foolishness randomly revealed. With the benefits come the junk right?

Men and women have been cheating long before my grandpa ended up with seven wives. We have all sorts of definitions for ‘The Cheater’. Here it refers to any individual who is in a mutually exclusive relationship or marriage yet indulges in an emotional or/and physical relationship elsewhere. That is Webster’s defini…….ok just kiddingJ but that is my simple definition. There is something about being exposed via facebook that I find disturbing and of course super-hilarious. Like seriously dude, come on dudette, you have not heard about the Six degrees of Separation?

These scenarios are true stories. Names have been changed to protect the privacy of the parties and to (although grudgingly) contain the embarrassment for the cheaters.

Scene One: Titi received a random friend request from Ade, accepted and entertained his ‘legit’ advances. Titi went to a family friend’s child’s first birthday. Ade was there. She spoke to him just two days earlier and so was shocked to find out they had coinciding yet undisclosed Saturday plans. She noticed his darting glances, and then saw his ring, moments later, confirmed the wife and child it (the ring) came with. He had said he was single. Ade did not say a word to Titi at the party and by the time she signed back on facebook, our Cheater One had vanished from her friend’s list.

Scene Two: Lala uploaded just one killer picture of her man Ola on FB and the walls of her seemingly-steady relationship came crashing down. One of her 500+ facebook friends (albeit a real friend) saw the picture and recognized ‘Niyi’. Apparently back home, Olaniyi recently had his introduction to his long-term girlfriend Yinka and a wedding was being planned for this year. Lala’s FB friend and Yinka’s cousin grew up together. Also, Lala’s FB friend knows Olaniyi’s brother very well. Olaniyi and Yinka supposedly had one of those sturdy relationships that we usually tag ‘made in heaven’. Did I mention that I thought our Cheater Two’s relationship with Lala was also ‘made in heaven’? Guess not. Olaniyi thought he had it going on at two different ends of the globe. FB gave him and his simultaneous relationships a screeching reality check.

Scene Three: Tawa was helping Al with ‘solutions’ to his exaggerated relationship problems with his fiancée. Gosh! I just hate it when people unjustifiably play victim over the little issues in their relationships yet have the balls to cheat….. but then I deviate. Somehow their solution-searching sessions turn into love letters exchanges on FB and eventually, sleepovers at his place. Whoever thought that was the answer to anything? Right now Al and his fiancée are well….fine? It is Tawa who thinks she just got away with murder and is unaware that her man, Timileyin, has full knowledge of her rendezvous. How? Less than six degrees of separation.

If you do not remember anything you read here, just remember this: SIX DEGREES OF SEPERATION. Thanks to the internet and as these case studies reflect, facebook, we are all interlinked more closely than we can possibly fathom. Hope you feel guilty and ridiculous when you discover that the chick you’ve been hitting on (yeah the one with the cute flower-in-her-hair profile picture!) is your girlfriend’s best friend’s cousin’s friend’s younger sister (a true story behind this one too!). This caution applies to ladies too. Behind those smile-ridden profile pictures we all put up are people, aka ‘networking gurus’ who for good and bad reasons spill our beans and dirty little secrets via that powerful medium, facebook. We cannot claim that we do not care. We do, because on facebook it’s our true identities on the line.

Don’t you just wonder who you should be starring down on your partner’s FB friends list?

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