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Underage and Not Dressing It!

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I attend an orthodox church in Lagos and we have a newly formed youth church where teenagers and young adults have their own services. The other Sunday, I was rushing into church as I was very late but before I could step in I was stopped by one of the coordinators (a guy) and introduced to a lady who is a parent of one of our faithful. The lady had a complaint. Her complaint was that her fourteen year old daughter (who was not at church that day) had reported to her that some older guy she met at the church had been ‘toasting’ her almost to the point of harassment. She added that this guy had told her daughter that he was twenty-seven which added to her discomfiture. Her daughter had gone on to stress that she was just fourteen but the guy had apparently been unperturbed by this. The mother was understandably alarmed! It became clear that this was not just a case of a teenage boy being a teenage boy but of cradle snatching at the very least! Before long we were joined by the youth president and a female coordinator. We thanked her for coming to talk to us about it instead of going to the priests and promised to resolve the issue.

We now had our own mini-conference to discuss the matter; three men and a lady all between the ages of 26 and 33. The female coordinator said she knew the girl in question and stated that she was a nice and quiet girl. We tried to figure out what would make an older man approach a young girl in that way! Personally, I was in shock and did not say much. We tried to cover all the bases…was it the girl? Did she over-exaggerate the story a little? Did she look older than her age leading the guy to think she was ‘of age’ or was the guy really trying to ‘catch her young?’ Before we could say “Senator Yerima!” another teenage girl walked into the service. And boy! You should have seen what she was wearing! The black strap dress (which was very nice by the way) was form fitting and ended above the knees. I mean this was a dress we would have admired on an older woman. We tried to guess her age. The female coordinator said 16, the president was clueless; the other male coordinator guessed 17 and I said 18. But lo and behold this girl as we confirmed later was just 14! I got into service and took a good look at the girls and found that about 70% of the teenagers wore dresses that were a bit on the risqué side. It quickly became obvious that the young girls were inadvertently (or not) in part to blame. End of story.

Now the above story serves to illustrate a nagging trend observed in our young females. I do not claim to know the names of all the styles of tops, blouses, skirts, jeans, dresses and shorts but I know you know what I am writing about. I am sure that in their innocence and naiveté these young girls do not suspect that they may be attracting undue attention to themselves. Or do they? Something tells me not to be fooled as I know that women love to draw attention to themselves with their clothes and accessories. But the result now is that old men are now ‘toasting’ young girls!

It has become increasingly difficult to tell a young lady’s age. Is it because girls of the 21st century seem to have developed way faster that their 20th century counterparts ever could? Teenage girls these days dress like adults and even the pre-pubescent and pubescent ones dress like the pop stars and video vixens they see on Channel O and Sound City. So who is to blame really? Is it the parents who have failed to ensure that their daughters are decently attired? I remember my father setting my sister straight over her dressing years ago. Or is it the men, who in a Yerima-stylee are beginning to venture into paedophilia? Don’t they fear God?

I remember when I was 18 and met this really nice and pretty girl who had just moved into the neighbourhood after a few years overseas. Of course as a sharp guy I made my move and soon we were taking long walks and holding hands. But I got the shock of my life when a few weeks later my younger sister informed me ‘by mistake’ that the girl was only 14! Initially I did not believe her for she was far too mature for a 14 year old and ascribed it to bad belle on my sister’s part. But alas, it was true as it was confirmed by a mutual friend! That was it for me for I could not bring myself to terms that I was interested in a 14 year old! It was for the same reason I avoided the Silverbird Galleria. Not once, not twice I would find myself seated at Barcelós by a window seat and then a very nice pair of legs complete with lovely shoes, jeans or colourful hemline would appear by the window, only for me to look up and see a smallie or young ’un as my friend would refer to them! It was quite annoying really! But not many men, young or old would be as noble as I was under the same circumstances.

In a way I do not blame the younger girls. They may just be trying to be like their smart and beautiful looking older sisters after all! Have you seen what some ladies wear to church not to talk about what they put on when going to the club or a party? It would appear that perhaps things have gotten very bad as I understand that the leader of a popular church in this country recently issued a dress code edict for the female members of his congregation!

Truth is I try not to get involved in discussions on how women should dress. I believe that all women should be allowed to wear whatever they want as long as they can answer in the affirmative to the following questions:
“Do I look good in this?”
“Do I feel comfortable in this?”
“Is this dress appropriate for the occasion?”
“Am I sending the wrong message with this dress?”

In conclusion, please don’t get me wrong, I am a live-and-let-live kind of guy. I ordinarily would not support a bill on indecent dressing and I feel that women are free to wear whatever they want but when it comes to underage girls that freedom has to be cherished and respected. So please, dear mothers, wives, girlfriends and sisters, please talk to your daughters.

Picture courtesy ‘www.2bpblogspot.com’

54 Comments

  1. Soyunamujer

    June 4, 2010 at 5:47 am

    I enjoyed reading your prose. Despite some of the negativity portrayed in the media, we should try to instill and portray good values to our sisters and daughters. Good job TJ O’karo.

  2. Soyunamujer

    June 4, 2010 at 5:48 am

    We should not forget our brothers and sons too.

  3. d tin don shele!

    June 4, 2010 at 6:07 am

    lol @ “I do not claim to know the names of all the styles of tops, blouses, skirts, jeans, dresses and shorts but I know you know what I am writing about”
    everything you said is very correct! 15-21yrs is whats raining now. God help us!

  4. Blossom

    June 4, 2010 at 8:08 am

    LMAO at you being interested in the 14-year old! Eiya. Pele.

  5. Doubsy

    June 4, 2010 at 8:26 am

    Its absolutely crazy, these days even from the cradle, women are dressing up
    their daughters in spaghetti straps, hot pants et all, someone once said that
    girl children are dressing like adults and adult women are dressing like girl
    children with the advent of baby doll dresses etc…it seems true now.
    @Soyunamujer: u are right, the brothers and sons too…wats with the sagging
    effect on pants..the saggier the more swagger (if theres ever a word like dat)

  6. NI

    June 4, 2010 at 8:53 am

    [email protected] before we could say senator yerima….nice post….everything is true

  7. semira

    June 4, 2010 at 8:59 am

    This is a really good article,u make a fine point.But truth is d 21st
    century would not change for any1,its sad rili but ‘smallies’ dis days
    feel like dey also deserve d stares nd approaches of older guys.I c were ur
    coming from but as far as im concerned dis article was a waste..gud write up
    dou…

  8. whatsintheworld.com

    June 4, 2010 at 9:54 am

    well, its because there are no rules in Nigeria. If you are abroad and see any girl on the street you will probably ask her age or even stylishly see her I.D before you go further with her. That is because most of the underaged girls are hitching to be adults overnight and are always willing to do as much as their older ones. Nigeria’s underaged wouldn’t rock it better than their counterparts abroad who have been wearing tight pants since the age of 5 and 6. I wonder who designs those for them.

  9. udee

    June 4, 2010 at 10:18 am

    I hate to be completely unfeeling, but some men need to keep their pants zipped! It’s so easy to blame girls for dressing the way they do, but have we forgotten that these girls would go largely undisturbed if the men stopped acting everything with lady parts needs to be chased down? I mean in your church story, even if the girl being toasted were 21 and not 14, why on earth should she be toasted to the point of embarrassment? How did we become ok with that?
    Brothers, seriously, girlfriends are not hard to get. Stop the embarrassment!

  10. TeeTee

    June 4, 2010 at 11:01 am

    I am not condoning overly sexy dressing of young women – if you look on tv all their role models in the videos, films dress this way – it is parental responsibility to teach your young daughters the right way to dress – but from personal experience – you can be wearing a burkha but guys will see what they need to see…and as a young girl of 14 you are not neccessarily aware of your sex appeal – your body is just changing and you are not aware to be honest – my concern is this after she said she was 14 why was he still chasing her? All these sexual predators they want to catch the girls while they are young and innocent because its easier to mesmerise and con them – by their flashy cars or sweet words…

  11. jane

    June 4, 2010 at 11:32 am

    Abeg jooo!!! this is beginning to sound like a broken record! dressing has been the eternal excuse of men for as long as i can remember. What about the men that ‘toast’ orange sellers and sleep with their housemaids? or our northern brothers that ‘toast’ under age girls swathed in wrappers and headties? pls, find another excuse for not having self control this the dress one is so lame!

  12. diana

    June 4, 2010 at 11:52 am

    i agree with udee…. if a lady of 21 dresses provocatively she is worse than a 14 year old child who does the same. if a man is responsible and looking for true lasting relationship, he would not be attracted to a woman who dresses indecently. If a teenager goes out topless, she is not acting like a mature woman and if a grown woman goes out topless she is acting like a child. whatever the case may be both women ought to be avoided. in my opinion, i think you got your article wrong and if any thing ought to be addressed, it is the motive of the men who chase these ladies. if a mans motive is to build a strong solid relationship with a woman, he would go for a lady who carries herself in uttmost dignity but if he just want a fling then he will go for girls who expose too much because he feels he will get what he want with less stress since the lady portrays herself as easy. And please toasting a lady to a point of embarrassment just goes to show how sick the man is… keep your trousers zipped and you will not fall prey to underaged girls.

  13. lyte

    June 4, 2010 at 11:59 am

    I think that some views expressed in this well written piece is the problem with Nigeria and sexual offences/harassment;” it COULD be how the lady is dressed.” When are we going to get past that? I have the right to wear what I want as does everybody else. Whilst I’m not an advocate of indecent dressing; I also know that normal men are not to harass women because of the way they are dressed. It is a stupid excuse when someone harasses another simply because of how they are dressed. We need to move on from that point and realise that sexual harassment/ offences are not the victim’s fault but the animal’s fault

  14. Gam

    June 4, 2010 at 12:07 pm

    Who is under-aged? under-aged for what? under-aged for whom?
    We need to accept the society we have all contributed to make,
    If a 13year old decides to get married, who should raise any alarm.

  15. munira

    June 4, 2010 at 1:52 pm

    i am a girl and i agree with this writer. wen i see some girls dressed i cringe in embarrassment.
    i was having a conversation recently with someone and i asked, now dresses barely cover the bum, in a couple of years wud they even reach the neck? or maybe we wud cease to wear clothes at all.
    as much as the way a child is dressed doesnt give any man an excuse to become a peadophile, we still remember the adage that says ure addressed as u are dressed.
    as a person, we need to let our principles shine thru in the way we express ourselves, including our dressing.
    and no matter how any woman tries to justify it, wen we look gorgeous\9or wen we think we do, we appreciate the confirmation of the opposite sex either by appreciative looks, or ‘toasting’ so any child that dresses sexily, am sorry to say, has it coming!

  16. FirstIWantToDanceWithYouPere

    June 4, 2010 at 2:06 pm

    Girls should learn to dress their ages and all…but regardless of the way a
    girl dresses,f a she tells you she is underaged then leave her alone…Unfortunatley There are no laws preventing a major from getting with a minor so parents have to be watchful.Shebi na for church 16 year old Omotola (nollywood) met her very very much older hubby, she was lucky he was a good guy and he married her.

    but really young girls want to dress older and act older.When i was that age i wante dto appear older but the margaret thatcher of my Mother would not allow indecent dressing of any sort,so i always lied about my age…I can identify with young girl of now though,
    but PARENTS,PARENTS you guys have to set them straight.It is up to you.I was in silverbird the last time i went to 9ja and i was shocked by the way teenagers were dressed.
    Haba!!where are their parents???

    @ Gam i am hoping your comment is a sarcastic one gone wrong?

    btw Bella your comment box sucks o!!you guys should fix it

  17. motuns

    June 4, 2010 at 2:12 pm

    yes some girls are almost nude but as a man u can choose to look and not to look. my annoyance is that whether properly dressed or not, some men are just irresponsible. why must you chase a girl to the point of harrassment. the issue of abuse/harrassment is on the increase and that should be address among our male folks.

  18. Ujubaby

    June 4, 2010 at 2:22 pm

    I don’t favour sultry dress code in church, but even if a girl ties rafia, esinsin (i.e. men folk) go still follow am. Upon all their regalia, r u tryna say dat deeper life females don’t get married? Puh-lzzzzz, come up wiv another excuse, cuz we’ve gone way beyond d time when women were d scape-goats of everything bad in our society!

  19. burramint

    June 4, 2010 at 3:16 pm

    wow! is this writer for real? That guy is a pervert! she obviously told him she was 14? so how is this now her fault? i remember when i was fourteen, and trust me i wasnt even allowed mini’s i prob got “toasted” more then…. when will this “blame the ladies” attitude stop?
    Nawa oh… so called 21st century

  20. leggy

    June 4, 2010 at 3:19 pm

    this article is what is wrong in nigeria…men going around looking for excuses to be perverts/
    if you approach a girl and she tells you that she is less than 18, regardless of the way she looks
    won’t you leave her alone?mschewww,this article makes me so mad,this is exactly thekindof thinking in nigeria that gives senator yerima the guts to be marrying a 13 year old when he
    is like seventy-something. underaged girls dont dress underaged my ass.
    not dressing decently is nigerian men’s excuses for all their infidelity and lies, aren;t you a gronw
    man?can’t you exercise self-control?this article is the exact epitome of all that is wrong
    with nigeria.mschewww.

  21. avari

    June 4, 2010 at 4:04 pm

    yes i understand the provocative dresses and some are def. a no no but seriously yarnin a 14 yr old who said she was 14 is a nono even if she comes naked… i mean seriously if control cannot b excercised then all ladies r in trouble bcuz if u r mistekenly left with a guy who finds fully clothed girls a turn on… u fill in the blanks

  22. temi

    June 4, 2010 at 4:15 pm

    Two issues: First what you gaze upon you eventually become. Since we know that Chanel O and MTV are not helping kids’ dress codes, what efforts are we making to change this? Do we organise other fun things -both on TV and in day to day life – that can occupy these girls (and boys)? I’m not that old and as a teenager I remember that I was tooooo busy going to camps, organising concerts and shows with my friends, group baking and all whatnot, to be immersed in TV or cable.
    Secondly we teach our girls that it’s ok to be anti-crowd – that it’s great tobe different as long as you’re being different in a good way. They need to learn that the skimpily dressed women on TV, billboards, at parties are often unhappy women. They need to learn that self image is not a function of how you dress but of who you are and you are will ultimately determine how you dress.

    After all said and done, every psychologist knows that at the ages of 11-15 kids want to look and behave older. Problem is that in their minds they are still kids and we have the responsibility of ensuring that we help them develop at the right pace

  23. ChiBaby

    June 4, 2010 at 4:19 pm

    I am sorry, I do not appreciate your excuse for the guy’s harrasment towards the young girl. He is a pervert and disrespectful. You are sounding like men that tell grown women who love to dress provactive that they are asking for it. like rapist he contest in court that they woman was asking for it with the way she was dressed. You know the funniest part of this young girl’s ordeal is that she did not invite the guy to talk to her. I am sure she didn’t even smile at him. she even went out of her way to tell the guy that she is 14. The guy still refused to stop. Stop means STOP. Please some of you men need to stand up behind truth not excuses.

  24. Doosh

    June 4, 2010 at 4:47 pm

    Very nicely written article…[email protected] who’s post is number 11…its not a broken record
    yes there are ass holes who will sleep with anything out there no matter what
    but that doesnt mean we shouldnt teach our young teens to dress age appropriate
    ……we must continue to teach what is good and right whether or not the bad
    exsisits…

  25. Aibee

    June 4, 2010 at 6:14 pm

    I guess there are 2 sides to every story. Truth is men ran after me when I was 12 and still wearing Aunty giv’me cake gowns and calf length socks. So some men will still run after underaged girls regardless of how they are dressed. On the other hand, I see some ‘chicks’ and I wonder what is so great about beeing half dressed. Even adults do not dress well. Take a look at the red/yello carpet on Bella Naija for the Hip Hop World Awards. There is a prominent t.v. girl who I’m sure is older than 40 dressed in short shorts and a sheer/seethru blouse. Pray tell, what on earth would her teenage daughter be wearing? Flip thru ThisDay Style, Elan and all them magazines and all you see is adults revealing more flesh than is necessary. Point is parents should monitor their children and the company they keep, but if the parents themselves do not know any better, then all hope is lost.

  26. ada

    June 4, 2010 at 6:27 pm

    this article is silly to put it lightly. This man was a pervert. Why can’t women wear what they want without being harassed or admonished for it? Is it because she wore a dress ‘abouve the knee’ that she is now to blame for the fully grown men chasing her? Please let our society look at itself because it seems Nigerian men don’t want to accept that they are to blame.

  27. justcoz

    June 4, 2010 at 6:53 pm

    Like d’oh!! it’s only in places like nija that a lady gets harrased for wearing so called indecent clothing.I mean African men can’t just help but be perves..they give you funny looks even if you were decent clothing..So,with all due respect,the problem is not d ladies or what they’re wearing.The problem is the mind…y’all men gotta cleanse your minds and reposition your mentality.What if i harrased you even if you were fully clothed as a man? would you like it? huhh?

    Just coz im wearing boob tubes and hot-pants dont mean u can say shit to me.It’s my life an dcan wear watever I wanna.You(men) need to learn how not to succumb to your third legs dat’s all!!

    Word!

  28. babylawyer

    June 4, 2010 at 7:18 pm

    I agree with Temi, when I was a teenager I was busy at clubs for young girls (when I was let out of the house that is) or reading a book at home. And my parents were very careful about my dressing too (probably because I developed quite fast), so much that it has spilled over into this my ripe old age. Like aibee it didn’t stop men from chasing me when I was 12/13 – and I’m talking like up to 40 years old. But at least I was innocent enough to run away fast! The girl in the write-up told her mum, thank God. What about those who for some reason don’t tell their mothers or don’t have mothers to tell?

    Ladies should not always go up all in arms once this seductive dressing matter comes up. Let’s try and separate the issues. Agreed it is no excuse for male harassment but the reason why it should be advocated for at least teenagers and younger girls is that we should try to preserve some youthful innocence for as long as we can. Girls are growing up too fast these days, and for what? They will have a lifetime to deal with the crap that men bring with them.

  29. sweet

    June 4, 2010 at 8:16 pm

    @ babylawyer, very well said! We are all responsible for our own actions. Men
    need to take responsibility for theirs instead of blaming small girls in short
    dresses.

  30. Muna

    June 4, 2010 at 10:59 pm

    ok, we’re still talking dressing, abi? that one is even good…check out dancing! have u been to a ‘kids’ party recently….have u seen ‘dances’ displayed by kids and even toddlers…jawdropping! and the parents smile and laugh and cheer them on (as if its all normal) so they can ‘win’ the dance competition?

    • justsayin

      May 2, 2011 at 5:42 pm

      omg muna!!! dis is sooo true…..the fact is that children learn very quickly, they imitate their parents or elder ones. we rili shuld watch wat we do arund kids.

  31. uchechi

    June 5, 2010 at 12:37 am

    Good points you raised, the men should not always be blamed. Personally, I believe charity begins at home, mothers, guardians, sisters and aunts should inculcate decent dress sense to teenagers. I say this because it will limit unnecessary attention from men.

  32. lolade

    June 5, 2010 at 1:08 am

    Okay ppl ….go on twitter and see the stupidness naija kids tweet about, u cant blame parents too much
    i look at ppls reply on twitter and just wonder what’s wrong with this kids, if they are not rolling blunt, they are talking about sex…and they tweet every second, some stupid girl even used a naked picture of herself as her profile pic
    it just leaves me wondering what went wrong? they learn all this crap at school or God knows , i had to go and google Babcock uni to my astonishment its meant to be a christian university, now don’t get me wrong i dont blame the univerities. BUT IT IS JUST DISTURBING!!!!!

  33. JoDelz

    June 5, 2010 at 6:20 am

    As a good friend of mine will always say, may God lead us still. Ladies, some of u lead men into temptation knowingly or not with ur dressing. Men, some of u refuse to resist the temptation. Both are sins before God. The story is a good example of how men can be depraved sexual predators but on the other hand, the way some women dress when going to church is nothing short of disrespect towards God.

  34. PalmwineTapper

    June 5, 2010 at 7:48 am

    I’ll be back to RSVP this ignorant article written by a chauvinist and pervert.

    I cannot believe that the president of the US is black yet some people still think
    it’s an underage girl’s fault that an agbaya is toasting her. Wow.

  35. vickky

    June 5, 2010 at 9:01 am

    Im glad that the 14year old girl was open enough with her mom. That would have been a good teaching moment for the mom. It also wasnt explicitly stated that she dressed provocatively. Good enough that a problem was noticed and intervention started. That said, the young girl also shouldnt have remained alone with the toaster. what if he was a kidnapper or even a rapist instead of just a toaster. Remember a church isnt a collection of saints but a collection of people, some good, others struggling with their imperfections and weaknesses, some opportunists, pickpockets, beggars and thieves and some plain evil. Im not knocking church, just voicing some observations made around churches. no offence to anyone

  36. Sugabelly

    June 5, 2010 at 5:50 pm

    So you said you don’t blame the girls but you ended up blaming them anyway. Dressing “provocatively” is part of our culture and this is just irresponsible people trying to shift the blame for the actions of men to women. And who defines what is “provocative” and what isn’t?

    Are you saying that if a Fulani girl was Christian and she insisted on wearing Fulani traditional wear to church you have the right to stop her? Half the things that Christians claim are “provocative” are only provocative according to European cultures. Have you seen traditional Igbo clothing for unmarried girls? It is shorter than most miniskirts! It shows your belly!! And it just BARELY covers your breasts. Just BARELY.

    Stop blaming girls and women for the lack of self control of irresponsible men. The girl told the man she was 14. The only person to blame here is the man. And any man that claims that how a girl is dressed is the reason he can’t stop harassing her is not only irresponsible but needs professional help.

  37. Scentified

    June 6, 2010 at 12:04 am

    Went to the cinema after work one day while waiting for the usual Lagos traffic to ease off..
    The movie ended around past nine or so and guess what i saw, lovely looking teenage girls
    wearing cute tops and nice shorts. The looked good, yes but was that appropriate for the cinema?
    And what were they still doing out by that time? I can’t remember a single time when my mom
    would allow her kids to stay out that late. Even to stay at a neighbor’s around that time was sure to raise some dust. What am I driving at? Is it possible that our folks are no longer paying attention or the kids are getting more and more influenced by the “media”?
    We need to let the younger ones know that they are sometimes responsible for what happens to them.
    Don’t get me wrong o, I’m a fashion fan but really some people just don’t dress appropriately.

  38. yetty

    June 6, 2010 at 3:53 am

    very true……talk i like it…am 15……..still a teenager , u know we teenagers wanna look pretty but some over do it u can be simple and still classy, not abt going naked but at least there are flashy decent clothes girls can still wear…..besides the decision is up to the parents if u know wat ur child is wearing isn’t decent its ur duty to correct…..as for me i dress classy even though i love fashion there are decent clothes u wear which still looks good……anyway i think girls should try and dress decent cause dats how ur judged.i ve investigated and i found out dat girls who dress too expose don’t get the best men……but decent girls (am not saying u should dress like someone who is tired of life) the ones who dress properly not too exposed but ok get the best cause men want someone they can trust not …a cheap looking girl.but honestly we teenagers should learn to dress our age.

  39. bimpe

    June 6, 2010 at 11:35 am

    Tj Okaro, Thanks for your post. Something has to be done and i am sure all the ladies in your life dress well if you write like this and are encouraging people to talk to their “ladies”. When this is done with mutual respect and you explain to them that they can be subject to unwanted attention and attacks, some listen. Everyone will not but keep trying. Yetty i like your contribution and you have spoken well as you are a teenager. Hope to meet you someday. I am a designer and i make clothes for any lady above 14. Encourage your friends to be like you. It is safer.

  40. Arabian Sinner

    June 6, 2010 at 4:10 pm

    Very interesting read… I do agree with most of the comments.. Underage teenagers
    dressing seductive is a no no

  41. Tokunbo

    June 6, 2010 at 4:59 pm

    Well said.

  42. yetty

    June 6, 2010 at 5:31 pm

    awwwww tnxs bimpe….hope to meet u too…..really dats cool……..i will always encourage them

  43. Sia

    June 7, 2010 at 3:41 am

    I don’t give a damn what all these useless people say. A real man will not see a girl wearing something “inappropriate” and feel like he has the right to touch her. If she feels comfortable then so be it. I hate when women are blamed for causing men to commit sin. If you are a REAL man or child of God/ or you love God and respect him, you would control yourself. Are you a baby? Schwww

    We all need to transform our minds. Enough with blaming women for committing sexual sins. Take responsibilities. Rememeber in the end that God will judge only you and not you and that girl.

  44. azazel

    June 7, 2010 at 5:56 am

    Yeah we thank God that u are a live and let guy

  45. smalls

    June 7, 2010 at 9:40 pm

    omo see attack, i guess the guy who wrote this article never saw this coming.
    though i do support that we all have the right to wear whatever we want, i believe everything should be done with a bit of decorum.

  46. Ency

    June 8, 2010 at 9:53 am

    I’m female and I’d say the teenage girls are wanting to grow up too fast. After church oneday, my friends and I were trying to guess the age of some girl. Then, we got talkin to her and found out that she was only in grade 8 (JS 2 in Nigeria) and seeing the shock on our faces when she told us her class, she went “Do I look old??”….of course we told her she didn’t!!…Point is, these days teenagers tend not to dress up their age. No wonder they have older men hitting on them.

  47. Nneka

    June 8, 2010 at 5:44 pm

    I think it’s totally distasteful for any reader to call the author a pervert! Like seriously, are you ok??? It’s his perspective. Hauling purely unwarranted insults is CHILDISH!

    So I read a comment that stated, “we teenagers…..”
    Mo gbe. There are teenagers on BN ke!!! To think they have access to all the PG-18 articles here makes me cring. But I forget it’s a free web -world. This leads me to point out that the knowledge that resides IN the chid is faaaaaar more destructive than the outer garments. At least this ‘suggestively’ dressed teen reported to her mum. I bet you that for 1 child in her category there are a 100 nicely-covered up teens who would yield to those advances based on toooo much inappropraite knowledge or curiosity that readily available on the web in general.

    2nd point…more like a point of correction to some comments. Kids abroad are generally bigger than their naija counterparts primarily because of their diet and what they generally eat. Most of them wear the same trendy things…skinny jeans, ripped shirts not to intentionally impress older guys or look older. They dress to impress their peers and seem ‘current’. Or are you older ” ‘uns” not following some form of trend???

    The problem is their signals just get lost In translation. This is not primarily their fault. Looking for who to blame: look in the mirror everyone. The pressure to generally keep up comes from you and I.

    Good article TJ.

  48. Ency

    June 8, 2010 at 9:56 pm

    With reference to “Kids abroad are generally bigger than their naija counterparts primarily because of their diet and what they generally eat”….I’d say kids of all sizes, whether home or abroad, do not dress or look their age. Yes, they’re keeping up with the same trends that the older ones are trying to keep up and so there’s so differentiating between the 14 year olds and the 24 year olds…and have you ever tried listening in to their conversations???…Let me not even go there!!!

  49. yetty

    June 8, 2010 at 11:15 pm

    all i can say again is dat charity begins at home…even if a girl dresses covered guys will still come….dats all i know….good morals begins at home

  50. Omada

    June 8, 2010 at 11:50 pm

    @ Nneka, no one called T.J a pervert, they are referring to the guy who toasted the 14 yr old to harrasment…

    Now T.J i agree with you on the way girls dress these days… but that does not excuse perverted behaviour! a pervert is a pervert pure and simple… sick men should stop using women as an excuse for their behaviour…
    what about girls that are raped in the far north, would you say its bcos of revealing clothing? no..

  51. Skyler

    October 9, 2010 at 6:17 pm

    Your so right about everything you stated in this. I’m a 14 year old girl myself and I know that girls my age look/act older than they and sometimes they wont even tell you until your charged with rape!

  52. Moi

    October 31, 2010 at 6:39 pm

    Wow! I’m a 17 years old girl and i totally agree with everything you said.
    For the fact that i love your article, girls are not only the problems. Cos if we look around us, we see young guys with their whole boxers out. . . Then we see girl dressing to impress. . . All cos they want to fit into an ‘adulthood life’.
    Talking of older men- some of them are very stupid. I think the reason why they are targeting the young ones is cos they know old women have passed their levels.
    Speaking of harassing young ones, i was once a victim (Thank God nothing happened) and trust me you can never accuse me of how i dress cos as long as i leave in my mum’s roof, theirs nothing like ‘show me something’…. Point is, this world is changing big time. I mean you do see some mothers wearing legging, boob tube, mini skirt… Why won’t you see young girls ones like that? You see them piercing ear rings for their sons, giving them all the freedom in the whole world. . . Through that, they grow up with a wrong mentality. . .

    My prayer is that God will enter into each and everyone of our lives.

  53. oppsie

    December 3, 2010 at 5:23 pm

    i wonder why comments cant be made without getting disrespectful and insulting to another party. Everybody is entitled to their own opinion and if u disagree with it u can argue the point politely. dropping a comment, agreeing or disagreeing is not a contest of superiority or intelligence quota.let us try to be matured adults and stop taking every thing personal.

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