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Only The Insane Desire True Friendship



As long as the heavens and earth remain, there will be cold and heat, seed-time and harvest time, ‘friends’ coming and ‘friends’ going.

Ahhh…Friendship!! That highly underrated Institution which has the power to make or break the most powerful of Kings and the most miserable of Paupers.

From Pre-historic civilizations to this Microwave generation of Instant messaging, world-at-your-fingertips existence, True Friendship has remained the utopia that only a handful have ever truly experienced.

What defines True Friendship you might wonder?

In the answer to that question lies the key to a lifetime of peace, laughter and true meaning. Many have sought this key; an abstract treasure of more value than even the riches of the lost Atlantis.

Few have found it; and with the knowledge of what they hold in their possession, they guard it. As diligently as a drunk Mad-man holds onto his bottle, which he believes contains the wisdom of the gods, so the few who find the key to True friendship guard their discovery.

Why do they hold on so preciously to this knowledge you may ask?

Hmmmnnn… can it be because they are aware that even if they handed it over to you on a platter of indulgence, you wouldn’t accept it? But might instead, cast it away as something of no value?

Possessing the secret of True Friendship is like holding on to a precious stone that you highly esteem, but also lose no sleep about its safety, as you are aware that even if you left it outside the door while you went inside to sleep, no-one will come and touch it.

So you rest secure, in the knowledge that you hold within your storehouse, the most priceless of all gems, the antidote to humanity’s disease, the answer to all life’s questions, yet nobody will dare take it from you.

Because they believe it is cursed.

And you are insane for having any association with it.

So they continue to suffer in their unconsciousness; their cries of pain and suffering reaching your ears as you soar into different dimensions of escalating Peace.

You extend your arm repeatedly to them in an invitation to join you in the reality of your heaven; your heart goes out to them as you see them suffer without purpose, but they scorn you and your gesture of kindness and adopt a deeper level of complacency in their sorrows.

That is the reason why many seek but don’t find the key to True Friendship.

But how can you blame them, when the unlocking of that door is at the very expense of their own lives.

True Friendship comes with a very costly price tag. The currencies of this world are not accepted in the exclusive store where it is given.

It demands of you the very thing you have been taught to guard in all your life’s education and experience.

Your natural instinct is to preserve your life and do everything within and outside your capacity to sustain yourself.

True Friendship calls on you to present yourself on an altar of continuous sacrifice.

You have been trained by life in the art of representing self-interest above and beyond any other.

True Friendship calls on you to esteem the interests of a Friend above and beyond your own.

True Friendship demands your very life of you; the very best of you to be given to another, at the expense of yourself.

Why would ANYONE in their ‘right’ senses want anything to do with True Friendship?!

It is in our negative experience of the concept, that we have collectively coined the term ‘True Friendship’. That in itself is a form of tautology, because Truth is the definition of what Friendship is.

So what sense does it make to emphasize ‘True’ Truth?

Friendship allows you the freedom to bare the truth of who you are in the presence of another, and not be ashamed.

It gives you the platform to express the depths of your desires and not be disdained.

Friendship provides a mirror in which you see the frailness of your humanity; the inconvenience of your weaknesses, the ugliness of your flaws and the deceptiveness of your experience.

And yet it is in Friendship that you find the courage to address all that the mirror has revealed to you.

Friendship allows you to be weak when the world demands that you be strong.

Friendship gives you strength when the world weakens you with its permissiveness.

It awakens the person your experience has brutalized into unconsciousness; and nurses the deep wounds your suffering has inflicted upon your consciousness.

All human relationships bow before the sacred throne of Friendship; for the purpose of ALL human relationships, is to discover a Friend.

Discover your Purpose. BE a Friend.


Tari’s blog is OR follow TariEkiyor on Twitter


  1. jbk

    August 18, 2010 at 12:09 pm

    True friends re hard 2 find,but when u find 1 keep it!

  2. DU

    August 18, 2010 at 1:07 pm

    Tari u always complete my day with ur writeup n blogspot. GO GIRL

  3. swthrt

    August 18, 2010 at 1:12 pm

    @JBK, maybe, i havent been that lucky to find one

  4. Amy Ubesie

    August 18, 2010 at 2:39 pm

    OMG, this is such a great and true article. Tari you speak the truth. Very interesting perspective on true friendship.

  5. Miss Natural

    August 18, 2010 at 5:11 pm

    Tari at first I thought the imageries were a bit too much and I was getting lost. It all came together at the end of the article. Everything you said especially from true friendship being a tautology was so true lol. I second DU.

  6. D.O.T.M.H.

    August 18, 2010 at 5:31 pm

    I totally agree with u but in all honesty, friendship can end up being a burden u’d be better off not carrying.

  7. Molicious

    August 18, 2010 at 5:42 pm

    Beautifully written!!! Great article and it’s sooo true 🙂

  8. ego

    August 18, 2010 at 6:44 pm

    overkill!!! try not to confuse, keep ur language simple. you are not a story teller!

  9. Fine Babe

    August 18, 2010 at 7:26 pm

    Hard to follow. Nonetheless, true friends are indeed hard to find.

  10. Uchechi

    August 18, 2010 at 9:38 pm

    Certainly they are hard to find, but when you do, hold them tight…!

  11. jennietobbie

    August 19, 2010 at 3:15 am

    true friends are the diamonds we think we can;t find, but know that they exist and are rare! It costs so much….trust, love, and time!

  12. BKNY

    August 19, 2010 at 10:04 am

    well done girlie..after God n our parents..the next is very true friends…… very hard to find and its exactly wt i need now…[email protected]….u re so correct…

  13. Fey

    August 19, 2010 at 12:00 pm

    True Friendship is a myth. We all are in different relationships for our personal reasons(mostly selfish). True Friendship is Utopian in nature and very difficult to achieve especially in this internet age where everybody is moving at the speed of their ISPs. In my considered view, just try to get along with people and accept them for their flaws and quirks as that is the surest way of not being disappointed when they “as we say in local parlance” start to show themselves.

  14. Bravebird

    August 19, 2010 at 5:13 pm

    Fey, true talk.. I thought I had True Friendship on lockdown but no matter how hard I tried, same results eventually, some after a few months, some after years – disappointment and heartache. These days the only True friend I have is God. Frankly I am not sure human beings are capable of really being a true friend, myself included.

  15. Amans Rufus

    August 24, 2010 at 2:11 pm

    Hello! there are still good and truthful friends.All you need do, is to examine yourself and find the one that fit your personality and if you do, you will never let go!

  16. alexy

    October 5, 2010 at 5:01 pm

    nice and informative write up

  17. Mariamah

    November 2, 2010 at 6:29 pm

    True friendship is hard to find, but once u get it ,it can last a life time

  18. tony

    January 14, 2011 at 12:19 am

    wow! can you beat that. friends are hard to find.

  19. anonymous

    June 11, 2011 at 3:23 pm

    I give up on true friendship. I’ve had many friendships that lasted as long as 7 to 20 years. I chose people who were kind and aware, go to church, meditate, consider themselves to be and are considered to be good people, etc. When I encountered a period in my life with multiple problems that were no cause of my own (mom died from cancer, brother decided to try to screw me out of my inheritance, stock market crash, etc), all but one friend deserted me. One “friend” of 4 years who is a famous singer and who insincerely called me her sister also filed a false police report on me because I was very close to her mother and she didn’t want me around. Like the spoiled brat she is she also refused to give me a letter of recommendation for a ton of work I had done for her for free. And, my best friend of 7 years (who is a gay male) broke up with his partner and became unavailable to me after informing me that the main reason he had befriended me was because his partner didn’t want him to hang out with other gay men socially. Being female, I was no threat, so he could socialize with me without his partner being threatened. Once he broke up with his partner he preferred hanging out with gay men, so our friendship was no longer important to him. He told me this in a very matter of fact way, too, as if his reasoning was perfectly sound. I thought that you make friends because you value the person and the relationship, not for ulterior motives. I justifiably felt used. And, this former friend goes to church four times a week and is very active in the Catholic Church. He is the director of fundraising and a charity for a church in NYC. The moral of the story is that ALL people suck (even the supposedly good ones) and aren’t worth befriending. After MUCH heartbreak, I got through my difficult times with one email friend remaining at my side and I no longer look to people for friendship. I think people are good for superficial purposes only such as entertainment or socializing and nothing more. In this day and age, to think that they’ll be there for anything more is foolish. It’s a shame too, because when I was younger friendship and friends were everything to me. They were more reliable and more enjoyable than family. Now, I find joy in simple things like when strangers are kind and do things like offer me a hand when I’m carrying bags of heavy groceries. It means more to me because it can’t be anything but sincere and there are no ulterior motives or strings attached.

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