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FRIDAY TRACK: “We’re in Public mate, not sure I can greet you…”

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Kilon Sparkles!

I was recently asked what’s the best thing about having so many repatriates settling back home was and I must have paused for what seemed an eternity as I tried desperately to think of a handful of positives about the various shades of personalities which exists within the over-exposed and over-connected social circle(s)

These social circles could be compared to ITV’s The Only Way is Essex but with more ‘akoba adaba’. Everything here is narcissism, narcissism and more narcissism. We take ourselves too seriously yet none of us have managed to change the world with our 3rd Class UK degrees. With our collective velocity of arrogance you’d think we were all destined to be future features in the pages of Fortune Magazine.

I was at an owambe three weeks ago and everything seemed so planned and throughout – nope, I’m not talking about the centrepieces – I’m talking about the social dynamics of the tables – there was the ‘boys-in-government’ table, the glossy magazine regulars table, the B.O.S.S ladies (soon to be a religion) table, and of course, the ‘I-wasn’t-invited but I’m here in the colours of the day’ a.k.a.mo gbo, mo branch table.

Why all this nonsense? I hear you ask…..well it’s because everyone who has ever ‘returned-from-the-abroad’ is fabulous; in short, our life is one big HBO upcoming series “How to Blag your way through life as a privileged adult in the Lagos Metropolis”.

We worship each other especially the ones that have perfected the art of creating the illusion with his/her Land Rover which is on a leasing plan if we may add, the talk of sitting on the Virgin Upper Class Lounge and of course, frequent ‘business related’ inspirational status updates on BBM.

We talk ‘deals’ round the clock – even in church; we’ve adopted ‘buying bottles’ as a religion although the manager of Caliente is calling 3 times a week for the settlement of last weekend’s debauchery.
Ladies and Gentlemen I present to you, the generation of non-rent paying, non-job/responsibility-holding ‘movers and shakers’. They eat, sleep, and sh*t like the rest but when it comes to manners they can’t seem to rise above themselves.

This is high school without the House Master.

On that rainy morning when my A Level (Scottish Highers) results dropped into the corridors of our home, I not only celebrated the sh*ttiness of the grades but the end to the ‘backpack’ state of mind. Finally (well at least I thought), it was bye bye to friendships based on parents’ assets and association.

….Then I moved to Lagos and I realised that the start of my working career and life as a Lagos local mirrored the first day in high school.

What struck me and continue to puzzle is this whole business of meeting people one day and then acting like you’ve never walked the same planet the next.

The Lagos social circle has turned been civil and courteous into a big deal. I have heard stories and been the occasional victim of an acquaintance walking past me without the decency to say hello but I was really slapped with the insult stick at an event a few days ago. A one-time close family friend saw me, our eyes met; he walked towards me only to stop a few metres away. At first I wasn’t sure what was happening then I realised he was trying to start a conversation with the person I was talking to, after getting the person’s attention, there was a brief converse then handshakes and he then proceeds to walk in between the two of us without uttering a word to me.

I must confess the first thing I did was to check if I had mud on my face or if I had dog faeces on my shoes that no one had told me about. I now laughed inside for a good minute before equating that act as another chapter in this book of Lagos repatriates and their lifetime of bad behaviour. We are so lost that we can’t greet each other anymore in public for the fear that our social ranking is in jeopardy.

What the hell is wrong with this generation? Have we become so self indulgent that basic manners no longer apply? What is this business of not greeting someone you know until they greet you? Or refuse to acknowledge them in public for the fear that people might see you speaking to someone who is ‘not-on-the-level’?

We really need to check ourselves.

This week’s Friday Track is “...Ooh na na, what’s my name, Ooh na na, what’s my name…”, you’ve all probably heard the Rihanna & Drake record, but whether you spat on it or hop to it, it would be a crime for it not to be a Friday Track.

Enjoy!

101 Comments

  1. hmmmm

    November 19, 2010 at 4:03 pm

    super yayyyyyy – first to comment!!!!

    first, Mr. Omotayo, excellent write-up! I was cracking up as I read the desription of the table set-up and the paragraph about “the generation of non-rent paying, non-job/responsibility-holding ‘movers and shakers’. SO TRUE!!And yes, we are now so “self indulgent that basic manners no longer apply”

  2. hmmmm

    November 19, 2010 at 4:05 pm

    few corrections (was in such a hurry to be the first to comment:)- *description and so true*

    • sexy ubani

      November 19, 2010 at 11:28 pm

      is dere any price for first commentators?????? just wanna knw

  3. BC

    November 19, 2010 at 4:13 pm

    Oh my God! i BLOGGED ABOUT THIS JUST LAST WEEK. Excellent write especially this one:

    “hat is this business of not greeting someone you know until they greet you? Or refuse to acknowledge them in public for the fear that people might see you speaking to someone who is ‘not-on-the-level?”

  4. chioma

    November 19, 2010 at 4:32 pm

    I love your write up…keep it up. On point!!!

  5. kulikuli

    November 19, 2010 at 4:33 pm

    Wow!Cant actually believe that, the guy was that rude.However, did you attempt to say hi to him? Maybe he was scared that you wree going to snob him?

    …and you’ll be shocked to know that, some of this people dont have a dime to their names.Most people trying to create a stupid illusion of affluence. Wanting to be seen at the latest parties, want their pictures posted on online media and crap. Trying to keep up with the Joneses who are probably broke (and trying to keep up with another set of broke Joneses)…let them be movers and shakers of an empty social circle,all well and good

    • Karimah

      November 20, 2010 at 9:50 pm

      my dear, have been in the same shoes… saw this ex-class mate @ City mall going down the escalator, made eye contact, as I was about 2 wave, she carries her eyes… 1st time, I thot she didn’t see me. 2nd time same thing… so I boned… Was coming behind her… she sees my cousin who is waiting for me outside and asks what she is doing and my cousin replies she is waiting for me…. before I could get out, she had disappeared… this is a babe I was behind…. I get 2 ma cousin and she says so and so said I should greet u… i laffed out and told her she couldn’t have said so… someone I attempted 2 greet 2wice who carried face… 3 weeks later, we see @ National Stadium and same thing happens. She sees me and carries face… me sef, I carry face…

  6. jia

    November 19, 2010 at 4:43 pm

    you hit the nail right in the head. a certain ‘friend’ would gist with me and hug me and have a whole bunch of nothing words exchanged when i bump into her alone in the salon…and then i see her at lpm or some event and shes so aloof and i wonder….. you? maybe when i start getting my Brazilian weaves on, and changing designer bags every day, instead of spotting that one precious bag i used my well worked for money to purchase…maybe, just maybe if i do, she’d start calling me again like in the old days and asking me out with her. smh

    i didnt school abroad, but somehow i found myself moving with this class of people you talk about…thank God for mercies, i cut myself short before i became one of them.

    in my opinion, they’re just a bunch of insecure ladies who define themselves by the labels they can carry. the only reason they snub me because i’ve got what they dont have. self confidence. thats why i’ll rock my river island purse to the same event you go to in your chanel, and have the best time ever like i was the coco who invented chanel.

    • jennietobbie

      November 19, 2010 at 7:04 pm

      good girl…….keep doing you and rock that bag…..they’ll buy it from you someday.

    • Lha

      November 19, 2010 at 8:42 pm

      @ Jia; Love love love ur comment… its just plain insecurity thats worrying all of them…

    • Lyds

      November 19, 2010 at 9:51 pm

      Wow thats the spirit…..

    • Ola

      November 20, 2010 at 5:27 am

      You are too funny…lol, lol, lol and more LOL

    • Pinky

      November 20, 2010 at 12:46 pm

      Keep rocking your bag jare! Better that one precious bag you rock than the super-saturation of fakes you see in Lagos today. Most of these girls will do well to invest in a decent house or get married and move out of their parents rather than spending the meagre funds they make as “stylists” and “designers” on incurring “gbese” all over Lagos in the hopes of being in the “IT” crowd a.ka.a Broke, fabulous and loving it or even worse, living off several boyfriends. This is not what your fathers envisioned they would be getting when they sent you to school with foreign exchange! I know my father would disown me if I ever tried to turn his living room into the HQ of a “style consultancy” agency. Its such a shame.

    • WaleAdeniji

      November 22, 2010 at 12:22 pm

      I love that from you gurl

    • Kemi

      November 22, 2010 at 4:34 pm

      Nice one…..loving the end…like the coco who invented chanel.

  7. DU

    November 19, 2010 at 4:44 pm

    bobo, u made laugh out loud.

  8. O

    November 19, 2010 at 4:54 pm

    You have written truth, a sad truth…..these kids don’t realize that one is more beautiful when their personality is beautiful. Everyone is so busy trying to keep up with the Joneses instead of seeking ways to improve the discombobulated society in which they live.

  9. Temiloluwa Adebayo

    November 19, 2010 at 4:59 pm

    I believe people who don’t greet first and who generally appear stuck up and proud are in fact, the ones with the very lowest self esteem. As a confident young lady/man, why should you fear that saying ‘hi’ to someone who is not on your ‘class’ (whatever that is) would bring you down? It is simply because you are insecure in who you are.
    This apparently happens a lot.

    I have not personally experienced being snubbed before or maybe I’m just too happy in what God is up to in my life to notice but if I ever experience it, I’ll just dust ’em off my shoulder. Pride is the beginning of downfall. Even God RESISTS the proud.

    Ignore them ojere! And keep being happy.

    Lovely article matey!x

    • Tres Belle

      November 22, 2010 at 3:07 pm

      TOTALLY AGREE with you!!

  10. jaybee

    November 19, 2010 at 5:07 pm

    Abi o @kulikuli,who send

    At my former place of work they even had to form a circle whereby they don’t really mix with those of us that went to public universities in naija,I mean maybe schools like unad osu and the likes,lol!let them continue their fake lives,it is well

    Living my life the best way I can jare

    • omada

      November 20, 2010 at 9:59 pm

      FOR REAL??? lmao!

  11. RMG

    November 19, 2010 at 5:17 pm

    I really can’t give an explanation to the “attitute” some give,even in church, and especially among females. It’s a shame how we’ve allowed some useless “western influence” overtake our hearts and minds. It’s really not part of our ethics or culture.worst still you hear people justifying themselves for such [email protected],on point….bunch of insecure people that define themselves by the labels they carry or wear….when would some people just grow up? I’ve had tonnes of friends simply because I travel overseas frequently,and not just regular places..suddenly they want me in one event or the other. I’ve always wondered if same would want me near them if i hadn’t a popular family name,or “frequent flyer” status. After visiting the homes of some of them,(with all the borrowed rides,latest BB’s,funneh,brazillian hairz…) to say i was dissapointed is a very kind word for the great “illusional influence/ego” they’ve created for themselves. infact,this article is just on point!(that’s why i don’t bother attending events or occasions,it gets me sick!)

  12. MissLC

    November 19, 2010 at 5:37 pm

    Woooow i love this…would love to chat with the writer..its a norm now in lagos..the level of pretence..or as my best mate calls it “Fake it till you make it” lool , i do hope we outgrow it though and actually focus on doing positive things as opposed to meeting the same people and talking about luxury holidays and designer bags all the bloody time

  13. Kémi Penélopê

    November 19, 2010 at 6:02 pm

    These days, I always look forward 2 TGIF, not b/c d wkends are here but b/c I get to read your “Friday Nuggets”…Your write-ups are simply interesting & on point. I almost (thank God) cracked my ribs reading this…!!!

  14. Albert

    November 19, 2010 at 6:21 pm

    Dude,your write-up is on point,the message is so true.We have this bunch of repatriates with all the wrong manners etc I just want you to realize that this sort of behavior is prevalent abroad as well amongst the top social circles of most cities.You principally have a set group of people who see it fit to assert their social standing at every opportunity.I remember reading Park Avenue Peerage and nymag discuss these issues.
    It’s not just a Lagos thing.

    • karen

      November 19, 2010 at 10:15 pm

      not as bad as not saying hi to someone you know….i crack jokes with my boss…and even the directors of the company, high class eaton, oxford cambridge people, speak the queens english, very friendly people…all i have is oxford brookes and a london accent which i swith to naija accent when i speak to nigerians otherwise they label me as a former.

  15. 9javatar

    November 19, 2010 at 6:26 pm

    Wow not everyone has a 3rd class or drinking degree as it used to be called, depending on the circle’s u mix in Nigerian’s home and away are very brilliant.I didn’t know about the not greeting people that don’t greet u first thing which is of course very juvenile and I think generally in life depending on where ur @ u outgrow certain behaviour. On visiting 9ja I have found that Efizzy is the buzzword and when people hear/know/learn that your from London they clamour to outdo and outshine u even if u just wanna pop out for some suya and a drink. I have even heard of people making statements like Akata this that n’ the other. In essence it is good for people to ebdeavour to go home @ some stage cos living in London permanently is a drag and it can never be like home and you definitely lend to and enrich the economy with foreign currency.

    • karen

      November 19, 2010 at 10:19 pm

      absolutely just bcos we live in london doesnt mean i am different, i am still naija….and they will always say you form even when u speak yoruba, also have english name once menioned to people their responses are always wats your real name? rude ppl

    • 9javatar

      November 20, 2010 at 3:59 pm

      U said it girl, u might like my blog 9javatar.blogspot.com

  16. myne Whitman

    November 19, 2010 at 6:31 pm

    This is funny but depressing in a way. Is this the future? What is the hope for Nigeria?

  17. Lagos Boy

    November 19, 2010 at 6:58 pm

    So So So True…… These are bad habits that we have picked up from our parents!!
    IMAGE IS EVERYTHING
    Love this line… “This is high school without the House Master.”

  18. Grace

    November 19, 2010 at 7:02 pm

    Erm……..i have found that its the people who schooled in Naija but travelled once or twice that exhibit this nonsense behavior.
    How do explain someone who was born and raised in Naija, didnt ever stay in jand/yankee for more than 2 weeks and this person has an “accent”
    Lets start with radio/tv presenters, MOST OF THEM DID NOT LIVE/SCHOOL ABOAD!!! SOME HAVE NEVER TRAVELLED! But they have accents!!! listen to coolfm (joyce), brilla (oge), Dorisha (soundcity), and co……smh

    • karen

      November 19, 2010 at 10:21 pm

      buhahaha now thats funny, jamaican accent is the new nigerian accent, dont torsh that dial

    • omada

      November 20, 2010 at 10:02 pm

      YES !!! i agree one hundred percent! you forgot Mandy of Brilla and one other chick on Hot 98.3fm… geez…

  19. jennietobbie

    November 19, 2010 at 7:18 pm

    Ok…..so this is still the best blog site ever in Nigeria. I love BN team…smart and brutally honest people. You have to take some attitude with you when you are this smart. This is my weekend getaway spot and I love you guys soooo much…….xoxo

    Back to this article: Nigeria, all we need is education. I don’t get this class thing because a classless individual today can rise to Presidency. This is the real world darling. The world has a lot of fake people already…..it’s getting too full for the it to carry. You wanna make history?? dare to be different…dare to be you. Resist slavery because this love for class is clearly a social type of slavery. Resist people.!!!!!

    We already have enough food on our plate Nigerians, plus this??? Whoever ordered dessert??

    ~~ok, that energy is out, let’s do this~~

    Love yourself, who you are and where you find yourself in. If you want to achieve something….dream it, pursue it and it would become yours.

    And as for “fake it till you get it”===nonsense. When you are fake, all you see is fake and when you get “it”…..honey buns….it’s fake.

    Love y’all and happy weekend everyone. *kisses*

  20. shade

    November 19, 2010 at 7:23 pm

    An honest write-up. so sad.

  21. NastyNas

    November 19, 2010 at 7:56 pm

    I’m on the fence with this one… I’ve witnessed first hand snubs in Lagos who actually wait for you to say hi to them first. I think that’s clear insecurity and rudeness. I believe people shouldn’t feed the cycle of the snubbing thing. Be polite, say genuine hellos to people. It doesn’t mean that you have to be extremely friendly… Be polite, be human… Simple.

    On the other hand, this is just an anchor for losers. I say loser as a loose term here…. Basically if ‘cool kids’ don’t want to be seen with you, no need to come on here and diss them for owning Land Rovers and flying Business or saying they’re putting up a wealthy facade- some people are very wealthy and they know it, daddy’s money or not. Go and make your own so you can start a society of rich and polite people and stop coming to cry over here on Bella.

    And no, a River Island bag can NEVER match up to a Chanel one. God forbid!

    • Peperempe

      November 19, 2010 at 9:08 pm

      Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha…NastyNas that was mean! Well I don’t think she was comparing a River Island bag to a Chanel one, I think she was saying she would have just as much or even more confidence and fun than someone carrying a Chanel purse. Which is good for her I think! I found your comment very funny and refreshing though.

      Still laughing at “God forbid”

    • Karen

      November 19, 2010 at 10:28 pm

      now english is not such a challenge for you is it? River island or channel , all made in china ..so dont try to pop a vein bcos u wan carry channel bag!

    • NastyNas

      November 22, 2010 at 7:36 am

      It’s true now. I understand what she meant actually however as I said, it’s still an anchor for losers. To be content is one thing and I respect that. To diss rich kinds is another, that’s just bad belle. Karen may not have meant it that way but others will start giving their stupid sentiments and start thinking in their heads that Chanel and River Island dey wear the same shoe size. That is where the ‘God forbid’ comes in.
      And to the Karen, they are not both made in China. Go and type rue Cambon AND make sure you go to a Chanel store to feel what their bags feel like and stop being a local River Island champion. LOLLLLLLLLLLLL There’s lambskin and there’s FAUX leather. These are Chanel (not channel) and River Island respectively. LOLLLLLL

    • Donna

      November 19, 2010 at 10:26 pm

      seriously?!?!?!? are you having a laugh? homeboi can write what he wants…
      people who believe in the wrong thing become wrong ppl….take a chill pill love…cool down for jisos

    • Jack

      November 19, 2010 at 10:46 pm

      As much as I’m hard pressed to abuse you right away, I’ll chill and let you wallow in your ignorance and your insignificant sense of self importance.
      I have 2 things to say about your reply
      First – Nonsense
      Secondly, it is just plain tasteless or insipid, maybe even so stupid of you to believe that just because they’re from rich homes or have “money”, they ought to treat everyone who’s not on the so called “make belief” social status as trash. I’d almost liken this to an African or Black mentality, had I not read about the 1 billion dollar home Mukesh Ambani built in front of a slum. *Sigh* Arrogance is a virtue, being rude and in the dark is pitiful.

    • IjebuRemo

      November 19, 2010 at 11:03 pm

      @ Nasty Nas. “a River Island bag can NEVER match up to a Chanel one. God forbid!”I am sure you think you have coined a ground breaking quote-abi? It’s people like you this post is refering too. You will carry a designer bag just cause it is designer and you will look down on somebody because they dont have a designer one. Please educate yourself and free your mind.

    • me

      November 20, 2010 at 1:57 am

      Hahaha love this comment…bcos its absolutely real…this article is true and funny …but most comments are stereotyping ppl… i always meet ppl who end up being my friends (actually acquaintances) based on wat i have or my education abroad… but for this same reason i have become sum other ppls enemies based on what dey think i have or dont have (based on the assumption that i ll be stuck up without neva speaking to me or just from a glance)… so the moral of the story is that it works both ways.. . just blame the person in particular for their lack of manners/ignorance rather than assuming that everyone who has a designer bag, bb or brazillian weave has that behaviour…
      @ karen…most chanel bags are made in france or italy…. #justsayin
      everyone should be allowed to dress to their tastes and pockets without judgement …simples 😀

    • iyabo

      November 27, 2010 at 12:04 pm

      Most of the designer bags that are made in Italy are made by chinese people on low wages, there is an area in Italy called Prato, that’s where most of the expensive bags are made. so Chanel or River Island, they are mostly made with cheap labour in either China or Italy……and sometimes in factories in Leceister (UK)

    • bambii

      November 20, 2010 at 2:18 am

      I always use the state (not size) of someone’s home to know how seriously to take them. Why window display outside when your house is filthy and not up to the image you are showing outside.

      I think you are missing the point of the article. He is talking about a particular group of people that DO exist in his social circle. As for the comments I think they can all relate in one way or the other.

    • dolapo

      November 20, 2010 at 9:18 am

      So true so true. Have you been into some of the kitchens of these IT houses? darkened walls, years of fat and grease embedded in the walls and tiles, fitlhy fridges. Dont be fooled by the china they serve your tea in and champgane flutes. They go back into a cupboard that hasnt been lined! with cockroaches running amok. Yes, their guest bathroom is always sparkling clean- theyve copied that from the Joneses, u ask to use their personal bathroom and you will see the immense flurry of activity that follows: go check if its flushed? i mean really, check if theres loo roll, . DONT DO IT. You will almostc ertainly get crabs!!!

    • Gam

      November 20, 2010 at 8:48 pm

      So Far , You are the only one on this thread speaking truths!

    • nekiss

      November 23, 2010 at 11:32 am

      @Nastynas, you’re quite vain and you sound like your name and I bet you r one of those mentioned in the article. Real ‘cool kids’ are always very polite and down to earth. Very accommodating, respectful and humane. They dont allow whatever they have knock out the brain off them. but those who are ‘fake cool kids’aka borrow pose,empty vessels they say make the most noise. They actually do make a hail lot of noise!

  22. kulikuli

    November 19, 2010 at 8:07 pm

    “God forbid”? is it that serious, Aunty, you can like to chill out o.

    Maybe if you took time to dissect what she said, you would know that she acknowledges the fact that Chanel is high end but she would rock the one she can afford with pride. I am sure your Chanel bag (if you own one) makes you feel like a million bucks.So go ahead ROCK ON!

  23. Kiki

    November 19, 2010 at 8:53 pm

    Nice write up. I have also started noticing the same trend here in the US. Very sad…

  24. Crazy Nigerian

    November 19, 2010 at 9:00 pm

    I absolutely agree with this, I am a repatriate myself and I was amazed at this sort of behavior when I came back. Its appalling and more people need to be polite and have damn common courtesy, say hi to someone wont kill you jo. Na wa for all these fake people, spending your fathers kobo when you havent earned zip for yourself, grow up and achieve for yourself instead of wasting time doing nonesense effizy.

  25. Tee

    November 19, 2010 at 9:52 pm

    People are now repatriates onto what na..one year of masters’?…abegi forget. I just feel people that get up to that na their life go pain

    As per your family friend…you never know…you sound really burnt..sha talk to the dude…and CHILL!

    Thanks for another nice post

  26. Molicious

    November 19, 2010 at 9:58 pm

    lmao, such is life oh, you live and you learn

  27. Ib

    November 19, 2010 at 10:04 pm

    True!In my case the reverse is the case.Even though im a repatriate,I dont even bother saying hi to “those people from the abroad” i hang out with my old time die hard friends…

  28. Ib

    November 19, 2010 at 10:06 pm

    In my situation i mean

  29. karen

    November 19, 2010 at 10:08 pm

    @RMG its not a western influence oo, its the 21st century naijaness…not everyone is like that thou, my english friends are uber cool and buy designer stuff bcos they want it not bcos they want to show off, one of my english friends almost wipes the toilet floor at work with her designer bags, you know why..bcos she carries the bag not the bag that is carrying her. if you’ve lived abroad and you have a rubbish character like that you need Jesus..
    i live in london and have issues with naija ppl cos of this stinky attitudes and the chip on their shoulder….i call them plastic ( like the plastic girls in mean girls movie… oversabi bigs girls on the outside, biggest insecure airheads in real life)
    whats really weird also is ppls came here as international students, whom are your friend when they lived here, moved to naija and become super snubs because their father got them a job at ibtc or uba….pschewwwwww who gives a toss? i just feel sorry for them bcos sometimes i talk to them and i am thinking in my head shut up love u re such a weirdo! thatsall

  30. above and beyond

    November 19, 2010 at 10:36 pm

    OH if i ever heard more truth!
    It happens alot even in this “abroad/overseas” we are o.
    Imagine, One day at a CHURCH event (baby dedication), this girl sat RIGHT BESIDE ME (as in arm-feet-seat touching BESIDE me) and she didnt say hi.
    Infact rewind to when she entered the building (i was already there and im sure she spotted me). I smiled o, just to be “friendly” and my girl “DID NOT SEE ME”
    i nudged her after a bit and said “HOW ARE YOU *name*?” and she turned (with a FAILED attempt at a surpised look) and is like OMG, hi, wow, i didnt know you were here.
    *I ALMOST DIED LAUGHING* (but i acted all smug to save her “cover”)

    As for Lagos snobs, e no easy o. ordinary “lets by fan yogo or “candle” and girls are rocking high heels and hermes scarves. i mean i see a million bangles and chandelier earrings @ the beach these days.. hmm…
    and i agree with grace o… the people that have travelled ONCE or 1 and half times (counting ghana) can like to carry the effizzy on their heads sha.

  31. afrianchikito no.1

    November 19, 2010 at 10:52 pm

    nicely put Bobo..
    well said everyone..
    Now can we all start being ORIGINAL???

  32. IjebuRemo

    November 19, 2010 at 10:59 pm

    It is a given, in any society there will be those regarded as high class and socialite.We would always have the rich ones.If you want to fly first class carry go, if you can afford it, then go ahead and be pampered.But why look down on anybody because they dont have as much wealth as you.SO what??? Being rich is just a certain aspect of a person, it is not your totality.We cant control the families we are born into neither can we really control the amount of money we make. And in general, Nigerians treat people lower than them with utter disrespect, we yell at our domestic workers and treat them like crap.Even when you read some Naija blogs, you will find a blogger telling a story on how they yelled at the “stupid” driver and slapped the “foolish” housegirl.

    Abt, the saying “hi”part.Maybe the person, thinks you are going to snob them, so they too are fully armed and prepared to snob you.It takes one person to say hi-abi? (how do we know the other person is not saying we too snobbed them)

    • ochella

      November 23, 2010 at 11:31 am

      I know this is coming late but i agree with you, it takes 2 to say hi. Except in cases where you say hi and you dont get a response. Then you let people like that be and hope that when you are in such positions you dont change and become a snob too.

  33. Glossy

    November 19, 2010 at 11:54 pm

    Abeg it must be the janded people doing this mess because the ones from America are loud and will speak to anybody without a damn care. The reparts fro America will have a long conversation the mai guard, driver and taxi driver. The Janded effers are the ones have serious mental and social issues

    • Ready

      November 20, 2010 at 3:55 am

      Thank you o…thank you. Chicks who’ve lived in Yankee usually don’t send, in fact we’re trying to talk to everybody. It’s those people who spent 1-2 years in London getting an MBA that wanna start with efizzy…I just wanna go, “Chick, calm your ass down. Why you wan start WWIII on top place wey be 5 hour flight and you know you were suffering and smiling there?”
      We’ll overcome sha…one person is all we need to combat the madness, I’m doing my part by talking sense into anybody that comes my way trying to do extra. Keep your fake accent in your pocket.

    • BC

      November 20, 2010 at 10:25 pm

      You are so on point! WHAT at all is there in Jand? Notin! And yet…una form pass Queen. We American been-to’s got our head straight on our shoulders. Janders even eat fufu wit fork and knife. Chioo…

    • shade

      November 20, 2010 at 4:35 am

      Buhaha.

  34. judith

    November 20, 2010 at 12:58 am

    Bobo omotayo for once am disappointed. I just moved back from the abroad, no accent after how many yrs and still hand out my former friends, however d amount of “hate” I have gotten since I returned is crazy. Our pple can be insecure and when they here u came from abroad they try to size u up and intimidate u becos of insecurity about what skools they went to. Know me before u judge me.

    • 9javatar

      November 20, 2010 at 4:12 pm

      I agree with you about the “haters” especially if your success is definitive, that happens in all over the world, I would say that people should only associate with those who are genuine, if they don’t enhance you forget them! you don’t have to explain yourself to anybody.

  35. Iya

    November 20, 2010 at 5:42 am

    @glossy ,you r absolutely right cos we yankee folks are too busy working 2-3jobs to pay uncle sam & trying to survive unlike the “janded effers” either they hustlers of which 1 in 5 of ’em has a job the rest are hangers-on etc…, we have no time to form besides yankee’s well defined tax bracket don already create levels( bragging rights defined), also we have a different way of making friends, finding jobs, interacting at the office, even at social gatherings saying hi or not saying hi, is at your own risk lol, you get to open “doors” for yourself by opening your damn mouth!

  36. deebaby

    November 20, 2010 at 6:36 am

    Are people still like this in 9ja? I live in Yankee and we are all very COOL with one another when we see here…or maybe I jus hang around real ppl. OMGosH!

  37. Kayode Nerzxers

    November 20, 2010 at 7:53 am

    TRUE YARN. it happened to me when i was looking for admission. i went to a prticular uni in nigeria where there are lots of my sec sch mates. i said hello to some of them, they all just look at me as if ” who u be ?” i expect them to be free with me but dem just dey form. its part of life but it sucks.

  38. ulabi

    November 20, 2010 at 8:06 am

    That so gross,it like we are in some invisible red carpet event .my logo for such people grow up it not a competition .

  39. Karen

    November 20, 2010 at 8:17 am

    all you yankee people are just chatting opax mehn…..why d south side …east cost divide abeg…
    London or america, western world! its rude to stereotype…..to think y’all dont have issues bcos u re in america is ignorant!
    Thats all yep i said it

  40. Beauty Soul

    November 20, 2010 at 8:25 am

    Drake still looks smitten with Rihanna…

    • Peperempe

      November 20, 2010 at 1:35 pm

      ?

  41. Annie

    November 20, 2010 at 8:35 am

    Why do i need to pay rent if my dad gives me a house???

  42. bee

    November 20, 2010 at 12:32 pm

    This is the best bella post I’ve evver read and the most truthful, I’ve experienced this exact same situation before so I can most definitely relate, I’d wna do an interview on this bobo guy, wats his contact on fbk or twitter or email so I can contact him bella

  43. Pinky

    November 20, 2010 at 1:15 pm

    I’ve had a personal experience with the IT crowd I would like to share. For his own reasons, my Baba Ondo father chose not to send me to school abroad though all my friends went. My parents have a home in a nice (NW) area of London and I spent every holiday out of school there so I still kept in touch with a number of my friends. Its funny to see the girls who used to come spend summers in my house, eating free food because their parents sent them barely enough to live on, come back to Lagos and act like their fathers are Adenuga.
    Not only that, I ran into one of my so-called old friends at a party and, with champagne buzzing in my system I walked over to her to say hello. To my absolute horror, this girl who barely scraped through a backwater british university and is currently unemployed actually said she had no idea who I was. I still see her around and now, I ignore her. Especially since I’m good friends with a lot of the people she tries so desperately to impress. However, its very comforting to know that with my humble Naija degree and 1 year masters in England, I can employ her, put her in a flat and upgrade her car. And that’s what counts at the end of the day 🙂

    • nene

      November 20, 2010 at 4:33 pm

      lol so true. what some people fail 2 realise is that while they act like idiots and actually think they they ar the bomb, those they try 2 impress ar actually laughing 2 their face coz they know who they really are.
      trying 2 impress people shouldnt come as an effort, it comes naturally from the way u comport yourself and if these idiots think ignoring people they think are below the is the way forward then na wa 4 them oh.

  44. Gam

    November 20, 2010 at 8:44 pm

    Honestly, I don’t know what the writer is talking about! What standards are you holding these people to? What makes you able to pronounce judgement on other people?. Snobbery or what not, why is that bad thing? We don;t know who the crack you are, so i’m sorry we need to hear both sides of this story.

    • Ready

      November 21, 2010 at 1:40 am

      Are you serious? Is this you playing devil’s advocate? I really hope so otherwise, that didn’t make too much sense. He..and the myriad of us who agree with him…are fellow Nigerians who’ve observed this trend of declining civility and loss of self-awareness.
      I’d go on but your grammar construction really makes me think it’s a joke.

    • Gam

      November 22, 2010 at 1:20 am

      Kpele O, Grammar construction Ko. Typical Nigerian, You wan speak Oyinbo pass Oyinbo. Talking about non-issues. Forgive me for being able to see both sides of the coin! shior!

    • NastyNas

      November 22, 2010 at 7:53 am

      May God bless you. This is not a post for the weak. I KNOW there are snubs in the wealthy class but they also exist among the middle class and such.
      Tell me why a girl who probably caught a 4am bus from Shasha to her salesgirl job at VI will be giving me attitude? It’s not just a ‘rich’ thing. That’s why I’m on the fence with this topic. And that’s why I think losers will come here to cry.

      I’m even a noble person here giving people an idea to make a change: Make money, buy Ranges and Chanel and all the Hublot you can afford, then start your Association of the Wealthy and Polite.
      Charity begins at home, not your pocket. Sheesh!

    • Peperempe

      November 22, 2010 at 10:10 am

      That is very true…those sales girls in V.I. stores behave like they own the place. I remember back in the day when L.O.P was still the ish and they had this tiny annoying sales girl that was definitely the worst of the spoilt-face-salesgirl brigade. Girl was always frowning like she was supposed to be at the Oscars and we were just wasting her time. Ah, Lagos is full of all sorts of complexes sha!

  45. KB

    November 21, 2010 at 12:06 am

    I’m sorry but any efizzy whatsoever has got nothing to do with whether you’ve moved back to Naija from jand, yankee or the moon! I live in the UK and relate with anyone and everyone, it’s how I was brought up. Anyone who moves back home with such attitude as described by the author already had that in them, it only needed an outlet. I’ve had the same level of rudeness levied against me by some old friends who I came across during my holidays in Naija and who live permanently in Naija and studied in Naija . You head towards them to say hello and they totally blank you! Or you say hello and they look at you like “who you be?” Now what do we say about those? I’ve also jammed old school friends here in the UK who have acted the same way, and na jand we all dey o!!I would not choose to insult anyone who behaves in such manner cos to be honest, to each his own. In the same vain, I’ve jammed some amazing old friends, jand or no jand, yankee or no yankee, naija or no naija, who remain fabulous and down to earth. You really cannot tell me you haven’t met such old friends!! I guess all I’m saying is, it’s far from being about where you’ve returned home from, it’s about who you really are in the core of your being! Everyone has a snobbish/arrogant/rude tendency, it’s whether you allow it to materialise or not that makes a difference.

    • Hilda

      November 21, 2010 at 10:39 pm

      You summed it up well KB. Thank you very much. Such behaviors are internal or learned, it only needs an avenue to externalize it. People will be who they choose to be, rude, arrogant,pleasant etc. If it draws attention to them, they will retain what works if not they’ll change. One love people.

    • me

      November 28, 2010 at 2:34 pm

      +1

  46. Proudly_Naija

    November 21, 2010 at 2:18 am

    In my opinion there are many haters in Nigeria period. If you’ve got money it must be stolen, if a girl has a designer bag she must be an aristo chic, if you schooled in Jand you must be a snob. Seriously, why the sterotypes. People don’t like it when a black man is considered a drug using, baby mama making, crook so why should one generalize. Indeed people don’t say hi first but instead of wondering why or venting your anger online you can say hello first (it ain’t a crime). I once had a flat mate who never said hello first, I was always saying good morning and good night and frankly speaking got tired of it. I stopped saying hello to her and she didn’t bother saying hello to me, we ended up living like strangers. It was close to the end that I got to know she was actually a very shy introverted girl and masked this by avoiding people. I apologized to her ‘cos I judged her without knowing the real her besides we both lost out on a potential friendship. Sincerely, I think the act of noticing who says hello first or not is a sign of immaturity. Imagine a wife refusing to say hello to her husband anymore ‘cos he never says hello first; omo she is on a long thing, chics wey full ground outside will say more than hello to him.

    • adelegirl

      November 22, 2010 at 12:15 pm

      True talk!!! I am also a “repatriate” and I did not experience any such treatment when I came back cos I stuck with my old and true friends and family and was not hopping about ‘it’ joints or places trying to be seen. I was more precoccupied with finding a job! One thing struck me though, in the first few months of my return, I remember feeling quite odd like I was the one that should have a complex cos almost everyone I “left behind” had so moved on and were doing quite well.
      I am glad I came back home sha cos God has been faithful. To think that I now earn far more than I did working in a bank in the UK and the perks of my job…wow
      Also, dont knock these people just like that. Their bad attitude might just be a facade to hide their feelings of insecurity. They may not have a job yet cos they have found, like I did, that unless your father owns a company or is a top businessman in the country, your UK degree(s) does not guarnatee you a top job. 🙂

  47. Spicy

    November 21, 2010 at 11:28 am

    After 11 years living in London,Omo i better buy brazillian weave,chanel bags and lose my somehow somehow british accent fast b4 i move back 2 naija…else i won’t have any friends:(
    This is Serious!na warzone ooo

  48. Kunbistic

    November 21, 2010 at 11:46 am

    I love this write up, it is very accurate. However as an expat from europe, I was not snobby. I grew up in Europe so I dont need to feel like im better than anybody, when i returned to naija this year after 15 years, I stayed in some of roughest parts of lagos, got on okada’s (despite my family worrying), i took cabs and all. The only thing i realised was how lucky I was to have had my parents take me out of naija for a better education and exposure. But you must understand that not everyone who leaves nigeria for jand or yankee exposes themselves, in fact some are worse than those who never left. They stick to their oldkent road and peckham and do not expose themselves so they can move away from their uncouth ways.

    I have noticed that a lot of nigerians who spend do their undergrad or even just a year of masters abroad are the ones who feel that when they come back they must do show show”.

    On a final note to those that are saying that it must be the jand expats acting like this, how do you know its them, abeg you dont generalise? Because as a full-time student working full time I dont have time to be forming something I am not.

    I do not put myself where God has not put me.

  49. Ronnie

    November 21, 2010 at 1:54 pm

    It honestly sounds so stupid to me when someone says “I won’t say hi first”..It’s sooo stupid and immature. I refuse to conform and stoop to such nonsense. I will say hello when I see someone I know and if you decide to be a mugu and snob me, your loss!!
    All these people that look so fake and try to give the impression that they gat it all together don’t fool me.They’re just as miserable as everyone else if not more sef!

  50. Lau Lau Spendin'

    November 21, 2010 at 5:24 pm

    …haha. I don’t even know where to start from. People should do what makes them happy as long as they treat others with respect and kindness. If you want to rock your Chanel bag – only to drink the garri of your labor later, then please feel free. If you don’t subscribe to it, then do you. Where do we get off thinking we should dictate how others should spend their time or money or credit line? lol..really? #isityourmoney? #whyyoudeyvex?

    If I recognize someone and I’m fixin’ to catch a “chinnin’/carry-face” from them, I’mo still say hi. It doesn’t take anything away from me…you never know what the other person is thinking. ‘Sides, if folks are ready to diagnose others as having low self-esteem, why don’t you be the bigger person and help them overcome their insecurities? Does coming online to BN – after you have chinned ’em too – serve as rehab center? O ga o…

    I’ve read some comments here of the ‘humble’ folks even coming off worse than those ‘snobs’ in the author’s piece. Kumbaya folks…

    ps: yall better say hi when u see me o…:p

    • Dollar ati Naira

      November 21, 2010 at 11:38 pm

      On point!

      Made me laugh reading Pinky talk about someone with a bad attitude whilst telling us her parents have a house in NW London, peeps came to eat at hers because their parents couldn’t send money, peeps went to backwater university and she could pay her frenemy’s salary and upgrade her car! and she wonders with that chip on her shoulder why she was ignored. LMAO.

  51. gbekun

    November 22, 2010 at 7:18 am

    wow i was just gisting with my friend about this a few days ago. i also experience this on the side of the states where i reside. i refer to such people as suffering from “mood swings”. they say hi to u today, tomorrow they don’t. they are just fake! as for me, i have decided not to let such bother me. i used to want to revenge on them. it can be very embarrassing when u say hi to someone in public and they blatantly ignore so i would always want to do it back to them so they know how it feels. but i decided to just let the spirit guide me. funny thing though is that these people will be the first to call u out about being a snob on the day u decide to not to greet them. smdh! human beings are amazing. phewww

  52. bcgeorge

    November 22, 2010 at 10:58 am

    next…..talk I am listening

  53. xxx

    November 22, 2010 at 11:47 am

    I agree with this post but most people are insecure and the insecurity comes from both sides (upper vs. lower class or schooled in naij vs. schooled abroad. Y do u have an accent and she doesn’t? Didn’t u go to the same America, lol. Yes we did, but she lived in Houston which might as well be Nigeria(most parts) and I stayed in the white suburbs and say things like totally, not because I practiced it in the mirror, but because I woke up and found myself saying it the same way I found myself saying equally silly things like baffs in naij. We as humans have natural inclinations and we lean towards different things and different lifestyles. As mentioned people that have never lived out of naij actually have the thickest overdone accents and are the biggest snobs because of their inferiority complex. IF it is not a Naij thing for the most part, why am I told I behave white/blonde because I am friendly with everyone and I can chat up a storm with any random. It’s because it’s not a Nigerian thing to do. Class is embedded in Nigerians just as it is in Indian society. It is not those that school abroad that bring it in. They met it here, it’s always been here,go to the popular salons and nail places and be amazed by the similarities btw the older IT women and the younger ones. Most of the people who come here to pose were actually more appraochable while they were away, it’s Nigeria that changed them. I even treat staff well and because they would prefer to be treated badly they start to misbehave and disrespect because to treat them well means you must not be somebody and if you are not somebody they can not respect you even if you pay their bills. smh. I personally; if you do not pay my bills I am indifferent to you and if you do still be respectful cuz I still wouldn’t give a hoot if u disrespect me, never been snobbed, because you can’t do to me what I do not let you do to me. I live in the clouds and would probably not notice who is saying hi to me or not. this is a a naij thing not a people who lived abroad thing. People from Unilag have it worse that those of us who have moved back, they even snob their fellow naij school goers that went to University of Ibadan and Enugu. So don’t blame it on living abroad. Blame it one a ridiculously ignorant soceity. Truth is the same fool who was snobbed as a nobody yesterday and becomes somebody today will still be trying to impress does who once snobbed him, how do you explain that? All Nigerians should change their mentality and their ways! Schooled abroad or not. [Ignore any typos in a hurry]

  54. ZeroVacancyGal

    November 22, 2010 at 3:18 pm

    All this commentary tells me one thing “Human beings are so good at rationalizing sha, btw good write up bobo !! The trait you speak of is not unique to naija but perhaps its spreading like swine flu cause of ignorance + other factors. At the end of the day, person get choice – embrace that which is good, discard that which is sin! #zvg’s two cents.

  55. Kemi

    November 22, 2010 at 4:38 pm

    Among these people are the shy ones. I am as shy as hell. So a lot of times I appear rude or aloof but I am not. It’s a huge problem for me and I have tried over time to overcome it but I just can’t. So sometimes don’t be so quick to judge that person.

  56. Kemi

    November 22, 2010 at 4:45 pm

    Lmaoooooooooooooo dnt torsh that dial. Laughing so hard right now

  57. Imm

    November 23, 2010 at 9:08 am

    Nigerians, we too “form”. Nice write up.

  58. Sterling

    November 24, 2010 at 1:24 pm

    Really i agree with NastyNas, ‘snobnesss’ exists in everyone. My parents are hardworking citizens who emigrated to London in the 1980s, being the Traditionalists that they are; they ensure we come back home to Nigeria for holidays at least once a year. Now my parents have a decent house in Ikorodu which is were we stay when we live BUT my friends who back in london live in council houses and survive on goverment handouts INSISTS on staying on the ‘Island’ everytime they visit Lagos.. They go to extreme lenghts to impress (i dont even know who) and create a facade of decadence and wealth JUST because they have British accents survive on £1 chicken and chips meals when they return from their ‘holidays’. Lmaooo.. So no, this is not just a behaviour for people that reside in Nigeria. I am very happy to stay in Ikorodu when i come and rock my Topshop and River Island clothes, shoes and YES BAGS!! I am not a snob because i am from overseas.

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