BN Hot Topic: The Good Girl vs. Bad Guy Syndrome

Recently, I have been particularly intrigued by a phenomenon which has become almost cliché: the Good Girl vs. Bad Boy syndrome. At least 90% of every woman that has been in a relationship, can give first hand experience of this syndrome. The symptoms are quite easy to spot: she finds the gentle and nice guys boring and slow, instead she longs for the thrills of being with the guy that gives her butterflies. She ignores the guy who calls everyday, sends her flowers and writes poems but instead prefers the guy she has to chase to get a call back. She finds herself forcibly attracted to the guy who cheats, forgets her birthday and even worse still, the guy who hits her.

In the past, I have watched my girlfriends fall in love with the most glaringly unsuitable guys. I noticed that ‘good guys’ never stood a chance. For some reason they didn’t seem ‘cool’ enough. They didn’t have the right swag or the right words to get the conversation going. But it would take a heart breaker less than a minute to wind any unsuspecting lady round his finger! All the signs would be there, the stories of his previous philandering ways, the way he would look at other girls while talking to her and the casual disrespectful way he spoke about all his exes. Yet for some reason, like a lamb being led to slaughter, the ‘good’ girl would walk, heart first, into the arms of Mr Cool Bad Guy!

Sometimes, the girl is lucky and is able to escape the pangs of Mr Heartbreaker. Other times, she launches a rescue mission and tries to change the guy, somehow believing that only she posses the antidote to his treachery, even though she knows full well that hundreds of girls have come in her place and failed!

I discussed this with a male friend of mine and he offered a clear perspective on the issue. According to him, there is no such thing as a good girls falling for bad guys, the only distinction is between sharp girls and gullible girls, “Sharp girls know better than to fall in love with their eyes closed, their own version of love is not blind”. He went on to say that these girls ensure that they weight the pros and cons before agreeing to any relationship. On the other hand, gullible girls are moved by what they hear and these bad guys know exactly what to say.

But what do you guys think? Why do we girls find the overly nice guys dull and instead prefer the ones who will undoubtedly break our hearts? What is it about bad guys that make them so unbelievably alluring? Is my friend right when he says there are two types of girls- the smart girl and the gullible one? Have you had your own bad boy experience? How did you handle it?

Let’s talk!