Connect with us

News

Love That Endures

Published

 on

On Christmas day, while many people decked out in their Sunday best, Lekeasha Rutledge Draft had two days to live. Her courageous fight with lung cancer came to an end on December 27th 2011, one month after her wedding to Chris Draft. As I watched clips from their wedding day, I felt sorry for them and at the same time I completely admired them, especially Chris. But of course who wouldn’t be inspired by Chris’ firm commitment to Lekeasha, after all it is much easier to empathize when you are not connected to the situation. For most of us, the thought of marrying someone who is followed closely by an oxygen tank is unfathomable and too much to bear. You are bound to hear things like, “God forbid!!!” in all possible languages.

But when hard times hit home, does your love endure?

I know for sure that in difficult life phases, not every loved one becomes a ‘Chris Draft’.

My ex-fiancé and I had an enviable relationship. Everything was great until both of us hit rough patches in our careers… around the same time. At first, we encouraged each other and sought out possible solutions to our career issues, but one day that changed. He told me that while he still prayed about our work situation, he wondered if it was a curse that we were both going through similar issues, adding that it was probably a sign that we should split up. I cannot recall what my immediate reaction was. But I do recall that from then on, he blew every other issue out of proportion and every unfavorable occurrence seemed to be a sign that “God was not in this.”

While I will not describe my ex as evil for not sticking through the tough times, I would say he showed that he had very little ‘muscle’ to handle trials. Haba, I am not God and cannot guarantee a life without tests. In my opinion, we were not faced with the worst situation ever; there was certainly hope at the end. Maybe he just felt emotionally over-burdened and completely hopeless. Maybe his ego was bruised because he could not help the situation…. Maybe he also had ‘other’ plans. The fact remains that if he could not endure such a temporary life bump, I doubt if he would have stuck by me if I were in Lekeasha’s shoes. I know, “God forbid”, right?

I once read an article1 explaining that women are more likely to stick around when a partner falls ill. But no doubt, there are other men like Chris Draft who stand even when faced with the unexpected–Lekeasha wasn’t even a smoker.

Trials are a fact of life, but clearly we are not all capable of handling them with grace. I do not pray to encounter extreme situations that would put my love for anyone to the test. But true love is a journey. So if those times come, I pray that I can cry with my loved one, do my funny dance to lift his spirit, apologize when I overreact or show weakness, and most importantly, love fearlessly so he knows he is not alone. I pray he would do the same for me, and whatever comes our way, we can look beyond the discomfort and share the kind of love that endures through thick and thin.

That’s the sort of love that matters.

Happy Valentine’s Day.

Watch Keasha and Chris’ wedding clip!

http://vimeo.com/33307371

 

¹When Spouse Gets Sick…Who Leaves?

35 Comments

  1. suruleredotbiz

    February 14, 2012 at 10:52 am

    you could read this MISUNDERSTANDING CUPID http://slife.surulere.biz/2012/02/misunderstanding-cupid/

  2. D Pretty

    February 14, 2012 at 11:04 am

    AWESOME.. Thank you Enkay. God pls give me the grace to love and be loved unconditionally. For to love and be loved in same measure is Gain.

  3. sparkles

    February 14, 2012 at 11:06 am

    I really needed to read this article. thanks for posting. True love will never die indeed!

  4. ucylo

    February 14, 2012 at 11:06 am

    Awwww….I pray so for my self too, U write exceptionally

  5. Medynat

    February 14, 2012 at 11:11 am

    So I join you in asking, Is it too much to ask for? A Love that endures?…I once had a fantastic relationship. We could talk to each other on the phone like 1000 times a day; we were completely crazy about each other despite our very diverse background. His family took me in like I was one of them but suddenly something went wrong… I refused a job offer they wanted me to take up… and that was it. I was no longer good enough for their son. They suddenly discovered that I didnt want to work even though I could not count the number of times I had helped them unload 40 feet sized containers, or travel several kilometers to be treated like a glorified servant at their social functions, or even risked my life to be with him. No one seemed to remember that I lost my job in the first place because of him…and all the sacrifices I made. But to him, the fact that everything went sour all of a sudden showed we were never meant to be together; not even pleas from me to him for God to intervene in the matter got somewhere. So I ask, Is there that Love that endures?

    • Dr. Dee

      February 14, 2012 at 12:41 pm

      You should count yourself lucky that they showed their true values to you. You a very strong woman not to have succumbed to their pressure of accepting the job offer. I still maintain that people should date within similar backgrounds.

    • nne

      February 23, 2012 at 9:16 pm

      I concur !

    • Bolanle

      February 14, 2012 at 1:00 pm

      Your lucky that you saw their trues colours in time. Even though you were pleading with him and God, that was most likely Gods way of showing you that it was not your portion. You need someone who will stick around for the long run, through sickness, health etc etc. If he cant stick around because of financial issues how do you expect him to be a covering for you when married!

      You’re even lucky you got out. Count your blessings, there is true love which endures! 😀

  6. Mbombo

    February 14, 2012 at 11:16 am

    We can all talk the talk, but how many of us can really walk the walk and put our money where our mouth is? True love endures. One guy use to tell me he would marry me even if I had HIV. I found that troublesome because I wouldn’t have done same for him.

  7. isee

    February 14, 2012 at 11:23 am

    Beautiful write up.

  8. Theodora

    February 14, 2012 at 11:23 am

    Hmmm am so touched……….i truly pray for a happy ever after…

  9. Gemma

    February 14, 2012 at 11:42 am

    Nice article. Really expecting a Wedding Post today, Bella Naija. It’s Valentine’s Day. Let’s celebrate those who have found love and stay positive. Cheers.

  10. Dee

    February 14, 2012 at 1:05 pm

    That just spoke to me. Thank u

  11. HRS_Cindy

    February 14, 2012 at 2:11 pm

    Emotional….this just broke me

  12. Mariaah

    February 14, 2012 at 2:12 pm

    “Love that endures” hmmnn I know that love, I have seen that love.. Well not me. I know a couple; the man had an accident exactly today 8 yrs ago that left him paralysed. His wife stuck with him through it all. Through his tantrums, through crazy in-laws who said she was spending his money (WTH)??!! She stayed all through the 5yrs that he could bear the pain.. Then he died..
    Question is can I do the same may be not in the exact case? Hmmn e go harrrd gaan.. I know my BF and I do the LDR thing which can be very challenging. There were times we almost lost each other but we ve come out stronger. It takes courage, discipline, unconditional love and a good heart to love someone.

  13. Twix

    February 14, 2012 at 2:15 pm

    Fantastic write up

  14. Oma

    February 14, 2012 at 2:16 pm

    Thats what real love is all about.
    Love endures all things.
    Its hard;but even roses have thorns
    God help us to show such love if we ever find ourselves in defining situations as this.
    http://lifethroughomaseyes.blogspot.com

  15. Madun

    February 14, 2012 at 4:30 pm

    I am moved by this piece.

  16. MARTIN

    February 14, 2012 at 4:46 pm

    LOVE, THIS REALLY IS. LOVE IS WHEN THE REASON 4 YOU TO LEAVE APPEARS & YOU STILL HANG AROUND, & INSTEAD OF SAYING I’M SORRY I QUIT, YOU SAY “DARLING DO YOU KNOW WHAT? I’M IN LOVE! & YOU’LL BE ASKED WITH WHOM & YOU SAY WITH YOU”. IF IT AIN’T PAINFUL, IT AIN’T LOVE!

  17. Loudmouthed

    February 14, 2012 at 5:32 pm

    awwww, nice post

  18. Inna

    February 14, 2012 at 5:33 pm

    Nice post

    www,sazistopsecret.blogspot.com

  19. Oma

    February 14, 2012 at 6:22 pm

    Simple yet great piece Enkay. 3 gbosas! Amidst all the gifted expectations many have of today,you put the real meaning of love into perspective.
    Did anyone watch the Kesha & Chris wedding video as well? Your heart will melt.
    http://vimeo.com/33307371

    • opi

      February 15, 2012 at 3:15 am

      i did…i was bawling and watching it……that guy must be a saint

  20. F

    February 14, 2012 at 6:27 pm

    Thanks for this piece. It seems so simple but is actually quite deep. Thanks for reminding us that any “love” that does not endure, is not worth having at all.

  21. Maegan A. Whisnant

    February 15, 2012 at 12:57 am

    I get all giddy whenever I see a new article on here, because I know it’s bound to be good. This was no exception. When a spouse is ill, stereotypically, the women stay. However, I believe more men are like ‘Chris Draft’. Society expects a man to leave at the first sign of trouble and the woman to be heartbroken. However, I would like to believe that societal “rule” has changed. I mean, we are in 2012…

  22. NUBIANWATERS

    February 15, 2012 at 8:36 am

    This is an exceptional ‎​L♥√ع story! The video clip was a hard one to view without the waterworks. ‎

    In my opinion, L♥√ع is a DECISION! It trancends all emotional & sentimental feelings because those are unstable grounds to build on. If someone jumps ship on you simply because there is a change in tide, that person clearly made a decision. Chris obviously understood the situation at hand and the possible end result and was faced with a decision to make. The truth is, the ‎​L♥√ع -walk is a long hard walk which requires constant decision making. My prayer is in one’s life time to find that person that understands ‎​L♥√ع the same way you do.

    http://nubianwaters.wordpress.com

  23. cathy

    February 15, 2012 at 4:08 pm

    love this piece and can relate directly to it right this moment. Having a dad who is sick and things not moving the way my family would love to but at the end of the day i know through the grace of our ever living GOD we will come out more refined.

  24. Godlovesme4me

    February 15, 2012 at 11:09 pm

    Amazing Piece. God can never lie. Love Endures All Things!!

  25. chubaba

    February 16, 2012 at 7:13 am

    Typical Blame the guy blah blah blah… But come too think of it Enkay’s forgotten or rather forgiven the Ex and moved on.. No doubt that was the dumbest move for a bloke but seriously shit happens.. Lets pray when it comes down too the wire she’ll stick with me thru the WIRE.. Great piece though

  26. Bomi

    February 16, 2012 at 12:13 pm

    I loved loved reading this. Thanks so much for sharing! I pray we all experience love that endures… ! Happy belated Valentine’s day!

  27. NMBW

    February 16, 2012 at 4:14 pm

    Love conquers ALL. It keeps your boat sailing/afloat through the fiercest of storms. There’s no greater gift than being loved by someone you love.
    Nicely written post.

  28. Enyte

    February 17, 2012 at 11:18 pm

    That waz a “waoh” piece. But for real, are the couples real 9jas, phoney 9jas, or foreigners? Really wished it waz a true 9ja story, but with all the family wahala one goes through in this clime, it will be real hard to stick around, even when one’s got good intentions. Good piece all the same.

  29. Purpleicious Babe

    February 27, 2012 at 7:35 pm

    LOVE IS A DECISION….. GIVE WITHOUT EXPECTING BACK..

    I RATE THAT DUDE… I pray he will get through this stronger and my prayer for her family/his family to heal well.. watched their wedding/a video dedicated to her on a website around christmas holls and I cried my eyes out… mehn what we take for granted….

    Thank God for grace…

  30. lolade

    March 29, 2012 at 3:34 pm

    i do not mean to be gender biased but 90 percent of men cannot stand tribulation.they always have to move on to smth better.women are the stronger ones.thats why some say love is pointless,overrated and painful.i tink people should start thinkin in retrospect.

  31. O

    August 8, 2012 at 7:22 pm

    Is this too much to ask?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Star Features

Advertisement
css.php