Yes, I coined that. And, this is about you.
You have been searching for meaning and asking yourself questions, upon questions.
You believe in the all-knowing, ever-present, omnipresent, can-do-all-things supernatural being that rules the affairs of men. But, there is a problem. You cannot cope with most of his followers, co-followers. You have changed gatherings and moved from one location to another, even across continents. They are everywhere, but those on this continent, in this country, are one-of-a-kind!
They have made themselves judges over you. As far as they are concerned, you have lost your freedom, and must be under their perpetual watch. They have taken the rules, written and unwritten, farther than you could ever imagine. Always monitoring you – who you speak with, what you are wearing, the placement of your pants around your waist, the kind of hairstyle you choose to wear, the type of hair cut you got, where you hang out and even what you say – their only mission in life is to make life hell on earth for you.
You, who took that life-changing decision only two years ago, must now find a solution. No doubt, it was the sanest decision you could have taken after living a life of addiction – to illicit drugs, weed, orgies, whatever it was you could call sin. You, who were heading down the precipice until grace, not the one you drugged two summers past, found you. You, who downed a crate at a sitting to win a hundred bucks. You, whose father and mother disowned for dragging the immaculate family name in the mud.
You were cleaned up that day you cried and offered sincere words from a broken soul, a contrite heart.
Many times, you want to ask questions that prick your mind, but you dare not because they will doubt whether you truly made that decision to take a turn and live a different life. You must believe everything you are told in the community.
They can barely stand you – you do not speak their language.
You fear that one day, they might unearth your past and find a million evidences to justify throwing you into eternal damnation. You want to fit in and feel cool in the community.
You are now looking at me. Buddy, dust up and let’s talk briefly. I am not sure I have that solution today; that potion to keep the ‘Spiri-auditors’ at bay. You have got to make the One you believe your primary audience. What does He say about you? What does He think about you? Or, what do you know He thinks about you? You were found by grace, so live by that same grace.
Photo credit: jaredmoore.exaltchrist.com
The On Becoming a Man Series is a bi-monthly column – a collection of musings that seek to unravel the mind of the young man, and are not necessarily autobiographical. Gbenga Awomodu is an Editorial Assistant at Bainstone Ltd./BellaNaija.com. When he is not reading or writing, Gbenga is listening to good music or playing the piano. Follow him on Twitter: @gbengaawomodu | Gbenga’s Notebook: www.gbengaawomodu.com | Facebook Page: Gbenga Awomodu