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“Your Experiences Make You Beautiful” – Watch the Short Clip by Dera Ugwuegbu For Single Women



We watched this clip and found it so inspiring we KNEW we had to share. It was conceptualized by Dera Ugwuegbu and it speaks to the core of women enlightenment. There’s a strength that lies deeply embedded in every woman and it is important that she reaches down to the place of self-realization.

The models used for the photo shoot are; Amaka Ahize, Shamsiya Sadiq, Kasie Moby, Adaugo Nlewedim, Funto Ogunbanwo, Ezinne Obinna-Uma. Shot in Lagos, Nigeria with the production done by Point Media.

Watch and tell us what you think!


  1. Thelma

    February 14, 2013 at 12:15 pm

    This is nice

  2. sista

    February 14, 2013 at 12:21 pm

    super cute. encouraging words, but sometimes its hard to make yourself believe these words. God is the ultimate healer of broken hearts. Happy Vals day! Jesus loves me this I know

  3. nnenne

    February 14, 2013 at 12:23 pm

    nice and it just lightened me up a bit. woke up sad today. thanks Dera.

  4. Zanfani

    February 14, 2013 at 12:27 pm

    Awwww, that was beautiful

  5. Wura

    February 14, 2013 at 12:28 pm

    Go Dera!!!! Whoooop!! xo

  6. adelegirl

    February 14, 2013 at 12:36 pm

    Truly deeply inspiring but I was so captivated by the narrator’s bare faced beauty. We need more self-affirmative awareness campaigns like this. It’s ok to love yourself and treat yourself right whilst single. If you treat yourself right, you’ve already set standards for the man who comes into your life. It’s ok to be single when everyone is posting pictures of their significant others and their happy families on fb, bbm, instagram, twitter and other social platforms. It’s ok to take yourself out to go see a movie or treat yourself to a nice dinner. You do not need a man to make you feel complete. TBH, it’s not everyone in a relationship or married that enjoys valentine’s day. For some, it is their most miserable day cos they build up these expectations that most times, their partners fall short of. The grass is not always greener on the other side. Mow your own lawn, keep out the weeds, water and nurture it and see if people will not be attracted to your luscious beautiful green grass. Love this!

    • molly

      February 14, 2013 at 8:31 pm

      Gbam! its about time we stop making the guys feel more important than they really are. To be honest singleness is a blessing.

  7. aston

    February 14, 2013 at 12:39 pm


  8. Bleed blue

    February 14, 2013 at 12:53 pm

    “Love is not a favour” WORD!!!

  9. Osede

    February 14, 2013 at 1:03 pm

    this is lovely… “we all know what models look like… what do you look like?”

  10. emeralds

    February 14, 2013 at 1:05 pm

    I totally relate with this, you truly dont have to allow your experiences define how you relate to people, dust yourself up and move on cos there’s more to you than what you think…….when i was single i totally had a fulfilled single life, i go on vacation by myself, go to movies, dinner n enjoy “me” time to the extent that sometimes i crave for “me” time and ask hubby when he’s going for a business trip….i totally enjoy been with myself…….it took me a yl to get there but its a good thing to have.

  11. A happy Singleton

    February 14, 2013 at 1:14 pm

    adore it!
    its beyond beautiful.
    Made me even happier and I woke up happy today. re-inforces all my beliefs!.

  12. x factor

    February 14, 2013 at 2:09 pm

    Now this is excellent….

  13. Tomisin

    February 14, 2013 at 2:12 pm

    Me I don’t get all this me time, me time talk o. I see it a lot from commenters on BN. The single one’s who say they enjoy their me time, and the married ones who crave it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not expecting a woman to be so absorbed into the relationship/marriage that she no longer knows who she is, but this concept of me time, or loving your own space, I don’t get it. As a single woman, if you have a tumultous relationship, I can understand a bit, but for a married someborry, which yeye me time or personal space? Why did you get married in the first place? If your marriage is going down south, maybe it should be examined and changes made on both sides, but to crave or miss your me time and personal space. Imagine if both spouses have that attitude, what happens to those precious we time. Maybe I’m not getting it sha, but me I looooove our we time, I’m at work and I can’t wait to go home to him. He annoys the living shit out of me sometimes, and I’ve mentally strangled him uncountable times, but he’s going to be home late, or he is away on business, and I suddenly miss his big head, and miss bitching about his annoying habits of going through the wardrobe like his hands created Hurricane Katrina. He cannot be tidy if you paid him to, but I’m enjoying re-training him like a child. I don’t miss my personal space, for anything, and my me time doesnt go pass a long soak in the bath, during which my adorable big head joins me anyway. We are so much of a unit, I don’t understand this need some women have for me time/personal space. So, to those who talk about the concept of me time and personal space, please explain, cos this gal here doesn’t gerrit at all. What do you do during this your me time? How does having your personal space make your happier?

    • Mz Socially Awkward...

      February 14, 2013 at 2:52 pm

      “Going through the wardrobe like his hands created Hurricane Katrina”… Hahahaha!! Your hubby sounds like my long-lost twin, I have those very same habits when it comes to wardrobes – no matter how tidy my bed is the night before, trust by morning time everything in my wardrobe ends up on my duvet as I toss clothes out of hangers with abandon.

      🙂 Very off-topic I know. So lemme drop a quick on-topic comment as well – I’m going to wildly guess from your comments that you and your man haven’t started having bambinos yet and maybe that’s why you’re still about the “we” time just now. Which, by the way, is great. Nothing like being HAPPY to be with the one you’re with, a feeling that is shocking and mutually absent in many unions today. However, something I’ve picked up from my friends who are married (I’m not so this is 3rd hand info) is that with the onslaught of having kids, “we” time dwindles to nothing and “them” time is all your life is about. And consequently my home-skillets are always yelling their warning to “Enjoy yourself now oh! Because once you’ve settled down with kids, you go see am!”.

      Basic things like just strolling round the shops during boxing day sales for a rummage for deals, going out for something frivolous like having dinner or getting your nails done, being able to just go see that movie in the cinema that you’ve been waiting to come out, jumping on a plane to go and celebrate with that friend whose wedding you’d like to attend, etc. Being able to do all of these without having to carry someone or a family in tow, that’s the rationale (as I’ve heard it) behind wanting “me” time.

    • Tomisin

      February 14, 2013 at 3:14 pm

      Aaaaaah, that. I did that a lot as a single woman, and truth be told, I never really enjoyed it, neither did I think wooohooo, I can do all this because I’m single, and don’t have to factor in someone else. Yay. The anticipation of the experience, was actually more fun than the experience itself. For the first time, I dragged his ass out on boxing day, and I had a blast. I never dragged him with me all the while. I still do some of those things you mentioned, so please don’t get me wrong, all my activities do not center around us doing stuff together, I just don’t tag those things I do by myself as me time, or crave it. With your explanation, it finally made sense, maybe in a few years once the babies come I’ll get it. We’ve just made a pact to talk about it if anyone is getting overwhelmed or feeling boxed in, so we can fix it fast. We are waiting a while to have kids, so we can really get in sync as a couple and also afford to have a live in nanny, cos if I have to deal with his house habits and a baby, I just might ship him off to his mothers house till the baby starts school. Lol. Thanks for teh explanation – P.S I wasn’t looking my nose down at anyone o, I just didnt get the concept, before voltrons chop down on my head. Lol.

    • Tomisin

      February 14, 2013 at 3:38 pm

      OMG, you just described him. At least its on the duvet. Mine is sneaky. You open the wardrobe and wonder, goodness me, did a hurricane sweep through while I was sleeping. It drives me up a wall. I have told him, i’ll start laying out his clothes the night before like for a 2year old. He leaves home before me, so you can imagine poor me has to tidy up after him before I leave for work. Bros comes back to a tidy place and didnt get it, until one day I decided to leave things and not pick up after him. By mid week, he said ah ah, Tomi kilode. Oya sorry na. I love him to pieces despite, and won’t have it any other way. Thankfully he is making more of an effort now. Y’all need to form a support group or something – Untidy Anonymous. Lol

    • teeteelahyo

      February 14, 2013 at 3:44 pm

      You are very right Tomi..what exactly is me time? The me time we’ve had, what have we done with it? Its a selfish statement…. Me time gives space for the enemy to attack a marriage cos when one is married, they should become one….A joint force… We all just need to pray for wisdom, grace to love genuinely and get over ourselves. If u single, as u wait for the right person, work on urself ad well……

    • Joshua

      February 15, 2013 at 6:25 pm

      I duff my hat for the man that had the sense to marry this woman-Tomisin, he needs to teach me the ropes (borrowing some of Bill Clinton’s words) ….me-kiniyen na? Pls have mercy on us now….prostrating chest-down

    • zsa zsa

      February 16, 2013 at 8:15 am no no, pls don’t misunderstand the “me time” concept. I know what you love the company of ur hubby and can’t really understand the need to be away from him, my hubby and i feel the same way. Sometimes i have to beg him to go “hang” with the guys (who are all married and responsible by the way) a little bit…we cant wait to get home from work to catch up 🙁
      Me time could be anything, for me it’s just having the time to go get a pedicure while my husband stays home with the our daughter, or shopping for a few hrs and not having to push a stroller around or having to rush through shopping because of my dear impatient husband.
      Living abroad its quite tasking because i have no help, no family nearby, hubby is currently in training thousands of miles away… i have to take my child EVERYWHERE except weekdays when i’m at work and she’s at daycare. Drs appointments o, grocery store o, check the mail box o, drop off the cheque for rent o, laundry o…i could go on. 3-4 hrs to myself one day would be just great and at the end i cant wait to get back home to my loves. don’t read too much meaning into it 🙂

  14. nnenne

    February 14, 2013 at 3:12 pm

    @Tomisin, having me time or space is needed once in a while in relationships. it gives one space to think and focus on your individuality. you and your partner were seperate people before you came together and it doesn’t matter how much you guys have in common, there will definitely be differences here or there. we all need me time once in a while in order not to loose we were before we got into relationships or marriages. in your me time, you could do the things you love doing that are not of interest to your partner. its not just in relationships but even in friendships. there are times you just want to shut out the world and be on your own to think, focus or whatever. having me time doesn’t necessarily mean you are rejecting or resent your partner, it’s an affirmation of who you are as an individual and a way of touching base and staying happy on your own. you will find out that after the me time, you will value your partner more and your relationship will even be stronger. thank me later.

  15. nnenne

    February 14, 2013 at 3:13 pm

    *who we were* *resenting* typos mehnnn.

  16. Shamsiya Sadiq

    February 14, 2013 at 4:15 pm

    I am so proud of Dera and am delighted to be a part of her inspiration. Every woman is beautiful in her own way. Trust that!!

  17. despy

    February 14, 2013 at 10:55 pm

    Hello for every single girl out there celebrate your self. You do not have to go around declaring anything to anyone. Just find something to love and improve on your self daily. The loneliest, emptiest place to be in this world is in an empty, lovelsess shell of a mariage. Promise!

  18. jmayaki

    February 15, 2013 at 12:58 am

    she is soooooo beautiful!!!!!!!!!!!!

  19. Faith Kel

    February 15, 2013 at 1:47 am

    2 words 🙂 Inspirational n motivational… nice vid

  20. Tope

    February 15, 2013 at 2:04 am

    Can I ask a question. This subliminal messaging that our society passes across and heaps pressure upon women. For the love of all things holy, why should a single woman be sad and depressed on vals day, so tey, she needs words of encouragement. What in the world. You read all this messages, and what do they serve to project, that you are a sad miserable creature because you are single, so you should be comforted. As if, pele ehn, don’t worry, your own too will come. Today we will remember you specially, because you have no one to make you feel special. This is so not fair. Any single woman who is sad and miserable today, look at yourself in the mirror and examine your self worth. Goldie, a woman just died today, a young woman in her prime, just died just like that. So, what is the issue that is so big, you don’t have a man abi. Please put your life back into perspective. At least you are hale and hearty and alive today. By tomorrow, all this Valentine’s day commercialism will be over, and people will move on with their lives. Valentines means something more special to me, because today is the day my best friend got the best news of her life. She was cancer free. Today marks 4 years since we got the news that she is in remission, and I will forever remember today for that, not chocolates, and gifts. I get to celebrate spending one more year, with such an amazing woman, after all those years I thought we would lose her to cancer. Your friends and relatives that are in relationships or married today, doesn’t make them happier than you. Your happiness should not be linked to the presence or absence of a man in your life. Has anyone EVER WONDERED why all these messages are NEVER directed to a single man. I may be wrong, but not once have I come across a patronising article directed at the single man around the time of Valentine. What does that tell of us women ehn. What?

    • Nehita

      February 15, 2013 at 10:28 am

      thumbs up

    • Que

      February 15, 2013 at 2:23 pm

      I practically watched the video in fast forward mode..cliche messages and things…and I was more surprised when I got to the comment section to see many people hailing it as inspiring n what not… I instantly thought ‘oh i’m definitely the weird one…’…cos I certainly do not get why single women need special videos on vals day to feel better…is it an ailment?

      I certainly cannot speak for all the readers except to say whoever it makes feel better should enjoy. I was single yesterday, still am today, and don’t know bout tomorrow, but by God I’ve never been so grateful for the full life that I have, and I am bored sick of the msgs bout being single…. For Christ sake devote your videos to relevant issues of abuse, violence, economic empowerment, spirituality, healthcare, etc if u really want women to begin to embrace themselves as being worthy of a happy life.


    February 15, 2013 at 12:49 pm

    beautifully said, Dera. Every woman is a gem if she wants to be one.


    February 15, 2013 at 1:21 pm

    Hmm, have read enuf today. i am a single lady, bin single for 4years now, i declare that am beginning to hate the “me time”, but at the same time i dont envy ma friends in struggling relationships, and funny they all come to me for advice, lol. however, i think its just a function of finding the right man, and i am still young(23) so i do not intend to rush and SETTLE FOR LESS. fall inluv with urself, do stuff to make u busy, take care of urself n be ur own man. if u nid to clear cobwebs, have that one(or two) guys u know u can always call on, but please DO NOT BE MISERABLE. that would only keep people away from u. for the lovers of the “we time” thank God for what u have, all that matters is that ur happy. Different strokes for different folks. SHIKENA!!!

  23. anseey

    February 15, 2013 at 7:46 pm

    My reply is 4 my dear Tomisin, to start wit I’m in Dubai on a short holiday my husband arranged 4 me b cos he felt I ‘ve worked my self out d pass few months, when we say me time , it dosnt mean dat u don’t love who u are wit, no matter how much u love some 1 , u need time to b alone .it keeps u sane .wit 3 children, a shop and oga to take care of my dear u need more than me time .as 4 being single it’s not and will never b a sin .I just hate d way Nigerian see singlehood as some tin data needs to b pitied .and u see writes ups encouraging dem as if they are sick it’s reply annoying.4 all single ladies enjoy urban self now and if u a meant to get married it will just b a plus , and if not continue to do dat .

  24. HOPE

    February 15, 2013 at 10:36 pm

    It’s well.i dont blame the media for encouraging single ladies.Truth be told, some single ladies feel really sad when these special days come.I guess its part of the genetic make up of women.Some have been able to ignore that area of their life and look at other areas that make them happy and fulfilled.But really,is there any single lady who doesn’t desire the genuine love and attention of a man?That there are sad marriages doesn’t mean there are no happy ones.if there are fake naira notes, there are still real naira notes that we spend.To all single ladies KEEP HOPE ALIVE.LOVE WILL FIND YOU.
    Meanwhile, engage in other things that make YOU truly happy.

  25. jayjay

    February 15, 2013 at 10:43 pm

    I love! It’s something you’ll be like ‘ another talk about loving yourself ‘ and probably roll your eyes but the part where she said ‘ love is not a favour ‘ now that hit me. Thanks a lot. And yeah i don’t have to be with a man to feel valuable, after all i am made in his image. Thanks

  26. Amanda

    February 16, 2013 at 2:29 pm


  27. Queenhannah

    February 16, 2013 at 8:41 pm

    Thank you for doing this video for women.

  28. Mujer Casada

    February 16, 2013 at 8:57 pm

    oi vey! She hit the nail on the head. Stop allowing someone else called a man define who you are. You are who you want to be. If you want to be ugly, that is what you will project. If you want to be beautiful, that is what people will see. What we think of ourselves shows in how we dress, the image and personality we project. The subconscious makes the decisions about what looks alright to us. So pay attention to what your subconscious is telling you and make sure no god with a small g is defining what you think of you and who you are……

  29. chimee

    February 18, 2013 at 6:47 am


  30. sam

    February 21, 2013 at 7:50 pm

    That, was awesome Dera.

  31. Chuks Ugwuegbu

    May 28, 2013 at 11:38 pm

    Nice 1, Dera. 🙂

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