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Ariyike Writes: The Headmaster



This happened in Dismayland to a woman called Mrs. Anonymous a.k.a the Great Anonymous Princess a.k.a Shopaholic a.k.a Iyawo Olowo a.k.a Create your own nickname for her…Please read:

*Mature Content – Reader Discretion Advised*

I’ve been married to my husband for 10 years and I must say it’s been a very bumpy ride. However, I compensate myself and our four beautiful children by spending my husband’s money on all the luxury goods we can lay our hands on. We travel out of the country even when the children are on mid-term break because my husband is very rich and he likes it when we spend his money. My friends always hail me every time they see me because they know I’ll be carrying the latest designer handbags. I’m one of those women that doesn’t shop because she loves to shop, I shop because I have to shop. The money is just too much. My husband never tells me I look good but he loves it when people say I look well taken care of. It makes him feel like the man.

People that don’t know me very well think I’m a housewife by choice. If only they knew that I would die to have a 9-5, I miss dressing up to go to work. The only work experience I ever had was when I did my internship at Mobil. I studied Electrical Engineering in school and I dreamt of building a career in engineering but all this changed after I married my husband because he says a woman’s position is in the kitchen/home so he prefers me to stay at home to take care of the home and our kids.

My husband is a society man, he’s someone a lot of you know. He’s well respected because he has acquired so much at a very young age. He’s friends with the movers and shakers of Africa. They all respect him a lot because he’s one that when you meet him, you’ll call him a perfect gentleman. He’s a very handsome man, very polite, intelligent and well read. He attended the best schools and he’s one very brilliant man. When my husband steps into a room, heads would roll because he’s a power dresser and he’s very neat.

When we got married 10 years ago, we had a destination wedding and all the creme-de-la-cremes were in attendance. I only enjoyed my first year of marriage where my husband took me to every event he was invited to. Sometimes, he would even fight with his friends whenever they sent invitation cards to us and they addressed the invite as “Mr. X”, he would always call them in my presence and tell them never to leave out his Mrs on any invitation card and I thought that was so thoughtful because not all men think like that. As soon as I started having kids, my husband stopped taking me out.

Moving on, during our sexcapades, even before we got married, my husband would always want me to go down on him but he wasn’t willing to return the “favour”. He said a woman’s vagina smelt of rotten fish and he wasn’t ready to go down that route. One particular night, after watching an episode of Scandal where Olivia Pope and President Fitzgerald Grant had just finished one of their rendezvous sessions, I had a shower and washed up my “under” with a feminine intimate cleansing wash and I begged him to please go down on me but he refused. I can never forget his words “Leave me alone, get lost, how many times do I have to tell you that I don’t give head.” For those of you that are learners, going down on someone is the same as giving head, head means oral sex, if you still don’t get it, please get in touch with Mr. Google, he’s a friend to everyone.

It was at this point that I finally gave up on him when it came to oral sex. After all, it was something he never liked even while we were dating and I still decided to marry him so I made up my mind that I would never disturb him again, I even apologised to him the next day because I felt as if I was being too hard on him, little did I know that I was making excuses for a lying husband.

A week after our “no oral sex” fight. I had just returned home from school runs in the morning when I received a phone call from my daughter’s school that her lunch box wasn’t in her bag, I had to rush back to the school with the lunch box. I told my hubby who was tired and still in bed (as he had just come back from Abuja the night before) that I would stop over at my sister’s house before coming back home. When I got to my sister’s house, she was getting ready to go jogging on the Ikoyi-Lekki bridge. I wasn’t interested in working out so I decided to go back home. What I saw was something I pray none of you would ever witness.

My jaw dropped when I saw Femi licking her as like Blue Bunny ice-cream. In case you still don’t get it, He was giving my housegirl head. Jane had only just started working with us three weeks ago. She hadn’t even spent a month in our house and Femi could stoop so low to do this. The oral sex he hated so much was something he found so easy to do with a complete stranger. Femi had dated me for 4 years and we had been married for 10 years, all in all, Femi had been in my life for 14 years, he never even kissed my “choo choo” yet he decided to give our house help of 3 weeks head…..TO BE CONTINUED!

After reading this, some of you would say “yuck”, others would laugh, some would say “God forbid” but the truth is that these things are happening. This story made me remember the popular saying “If it smells like a fish, she’s a dish, if it smells like cologne, leave it alone. Men, Is this even true?

My fellow BellaNaijarians, I have 5 questions for you.

1. What would you do if you were the woman in question?
2. What exactly should a woman’s “choo choo” smell of and how does your smell?
3. Do you enjoy giving or receiving head or both?
4. Have you ever been in a position where you found yourself giving a total stranger “head”?
5. Has your partner ever told you he/she doesn’t like to give head?

Let’s share our stories and thoughts. Please tell us if you’re male or female as you share your stories.

Ariyike Akinbobola is a lawyer turned TV presenter/producer at Spice TV, a fashion and lifestyle channel. She studied Law at the University of Lagos and was called to the Nigerian bar in 2006. With a diploma in T.V presenting from the London Academy of Media, film and T.V. She also organises a monthly event every first Wednesday of the month called “Best of Both Worlds” networking cocktail party. She’s married and blessed with children. Follow her on [email protected] to find out more.

Ariyike Akinbobola, popularly referred to as Lady Ariyike, is a foreign trained lawyer and senior immigration analyst. She is an award winning TV host, author, MC, content creator, and humanitarian. She also coaches immigrant families relocating abroad on expectations and how to navigate their new reality. 

 Ariyike is the founder of Ariland Entertainment where she showcases the African culture, fashion, lifestyle and Immigrant experiences through storytelling and film. She previously worked as a talk show host and TV producer for over 7 years abroad and gained experience in TV presenting, production, editing, writing TV treatments and scripts for TV and acting.  Ariyike has a certificate in Child Protection: Children’s Rights in Theory and Practice from Harvard X. A Diploma in TV Presenting from the prestigious London Academy of Media, Film and TV. 

She was recognized as one of the 100 most inspiring women in Nigeria in 2019. She has won several awards such as WAW Award, London. UNICEF/UNFPA Frown Award - Female Genital Mutilation Abandonment Advocate of the year, La Mode Humanitarian of the year, Mademoiselle Role Model Award, The Women’s Federation for World Peace - Ambassador for Peace Award amongst others. 

 Ariyike, through her Ariyike Arise Initiative, has helped to fund the education of Children in disadvantaged communities. Through their schools outreach, they counsel, coach and enlighten children and teenagers about the importance of Peace, Education, Empowerment and Community Development. 

She is a guest columnist on and she volunteers as a Content Creator Partner for the United Nations Refugee Agency in Canada (UNHCR). Ariyike is married with Children. Her book, The Cost of Our Lives, is available on Amazon


  1. Been there

    September 16, 2013 at 10:43 am

    i’m still stunned by the boldness of this write up…lets just say i’ve been blessed to have a partner who would beg to return the favour. and one of the rules of giving head is ‘if you don’t give, you can’t receive’…. by the way, you did say much about the physique of this woman. waiting for the comments to roll in.

  2. Been there

    September 16, 2013 at 10:44 am

    * did not say much about the physique

  3. Miss Bee

    September 16, 2013 at 10:54 am

    Beat the living daylight out of the maid to start with, the husband, I don’t know what to say (I’m not a married woman). Choo-choo should be odorless, I use summer’s eve to wash mine morning and night and I wipe up when I go to the bathroom and no guy has ever complained to me. Women should shave down there as well, hair traps urine which makes it smelly sometimes.
    Sorry I don’t give total stranger, that is just straight-up nasty. A partner doesn’t need to tell you he/she doesn’t give head, just position yourself in the 69 position and you’ll see if that partner’s mouth will go there or not, lol.
    Waiting to read other comment, I know this is going to be one interesting topic.

    • Chic

      September 16, 2013 at 11:08 am

      I shave religiously after every period in fact the day after my period stops I shave. For a nice smelling vajayjay eat Yoghurt evryday and also occasionally wash the place with yoghurt but plain yoghurt oh no vanilla strawberry flavours and rinse with cold water afterwards. Plain Yoghurt contains good bacteria which helps keep you clean and bacteria free down there.

    • Neo

      September 16, 2013 at 12:47 pm

      errr, choo-choo is not odourless oh. Every woman has her own unique smell, which is why we are advised to seek medical advice if we notice there is a change in the smell. It shouldnt smell fishy or acidic but there is definitely a smell/scent whether you use Summers Eve or Femfresh or whatever. The smell is affected by what we eat true, but i definitely would not advise that you use yoghurt to douche. Infact douching is discouraged as such things tend to change the very sensituve ph level of the errr “choo choo” As you said the cardinal rule should be “givers never lack”. If your husband isnt going south and you are giving him blow jobs (shey its dt his pipe dt is trapped inside sweater boxers with congealed urine that soesnt smell?) then i dont know again sef.

    • Ms. Carter

      September 16, 2013 at 1:36 pm

      Chei @Neo oooooooo……

    • whocares

      September 16, 2013 at 9:53 pm

      ahhhh amen to your comment! i have extensively studied on vajayjay care and cleansing, and experimented too *wipes brows* . after all the hoopla. i decided soap, water, general cleanliness and a trim is all i need really. the odour at the end of the day is in no way offensive.

  4. Tiki

    September 16, 2013 at 10:55 am

    looooool! Chei, I can’t wait to see comments.

    I think oral sex is very personal. A clean woman smells…heady. Not good, not bad, just distinct. If you aren’t sure how u feel about your partner’s hygiene, take a shower together and take it from there. Personally my issue would not be giving or receiving oral sex, but with the fact that my partner does not care enough about my needs to attempt something I may clearly want a lot and which is not harmful to him. I think oral sex with a stranger is totally crazy though! STDs are real!

    LAst but not least, If I was the woman in the picture, I would be so mad I might kill somebody!

    • Jubemi

      September 19, 2013 at 1:58 pm

      Ok, my take on this is not the fact that he refused oral sex with his wife and decided to go down south on the house girl, the main issue is that he decided to have anything sexual with the help at all. Seriously, whats wrong with the world and with men!!!????

  5. Miss Bee

    September 16, 2013 at 10:55 am

    “Don’t give total stranger head”

  6. Eve

    September 16, 2013 at 10:57 am

    Y am I not surprised? Hmmmm. Lol..this is for ol u who dare to believe men are from same planet as we females. I can never ever dissatisfy myself to please any man even for ol the money on earth. Girl u should come first. I hope u gave them a huge applaud for an outstanding performance. Both fooling u in your house.
    So I say. Send the Bitch packing but that doesnt mean he will stop seeing her. but atleast not under ur roof. u have to continue spending ur husbands money since he is still willing to part with it. nd finally dear find a way to give ur V some.. There are people who love nd I mean love to give a good head..wink wink..

  7. Chic

    September 16, 2013 at 11:04 am

    Take a photo and use it to blackmail him into giving me head lol just kidding! Mehn but men are wicked sha! Still thinking of an appropriate response will be back later

  8. BUKKY

    September 16, 2013 at 11:14 am

    *whew*Lastly I am speechless! hmmmmmmmm too much for me to handle….id rather sit back and read comments. I know a lot of people will be able to put my thoughts n opinion into words….hence I couldn’t*whew*

  9. Barbie

    September 16, 2013 at 11:30 am

    Bold write up,Well he found the new pot and decided to explore and see made in china…chaiiii I no Sabi Wetin tolk again cos I’m married

  10. carphy

    September 16, 2013 at 11:31 am

    firstly. ..m not married nd cant give a good advice but seriouly dt dude deserves to be taught a lesson..y not threaten him with a divorce. surely doesnt care or respect her. I HAVE NEVER dated a guy dt doesnt go there nd YES, I loveeee giving and receiving head, its part of my sex routine… down there should be clean, fresh and a distinct odour ..I always shave at least weekly, vaginal washes aint too hygienic. .rinsing with lots of water is advisable nd sleeping at night without panties.

    • Lola Rose

      September 17, 2013 at 1:36 pm

      “Threaten with divorce”? i really do hope u dont have married friends who listen to u oh cos wahala dey. wen it comes to divorce, u are either sure u r going or ur sitting ur ass down cos one thing ppl dnt seem to understand is that repetition destroys essence. if u keep threatenin, and u dnt go, its one of two things, either the man will call ur bluff one day and tell u to go or u stay and lose ur respect. so please all the ‘MR &MRS’ soffri use the ‘D’ word #passesmic

  11. July

    September 16, 2013 at 11:38 am

    Wow this story, these questions, this situation.

    I do know that some men have a Madonna/Wh*re complex where if you are the wife and mother to their children there are certain acts that they just cannot do with you because they have put you in that saintly category. They can only do those things with women who are not their wives or mothers to their kids whom they can treat as their own personal prostitute.

    Aside from that this man seems very cold and distant. I think the problem is much deeper than whether her under carriage smells off or whether he will go down on her. The real issue here is his treatment of her and how he views her in his life.

    • tatafo

      September 16, 2013 at 2:54 pm

      It definitely sounds like the Madonna/Whore complex to me as well.

  12. Abana

    September 16, 2013 at 11:59 am

    Does your vagina smell that badly? You might need to see a doctor. If you have been together 14 years and he never gave you a head, chances are that you might have a problem. YOUR HUSBAND IS A DOUCHE BAG!!!! I am so sorry. I actually feel really bad for you. if this is a true story, you are most likely hurt beyond comprehension. Jane is probably not the first time as well. He’s most likely done it before. You are going to have to deal with the consequences of cheating. But please check yourself. You need to see a gynaecologist.
    My vagina only smells fishy if I haven’t taken a shower in days (I know! I can be funky when there’s no where to go). But I wash with femfresh and do a tea tree rinse twice a week. Tea tree is antibacterial and anti-fungal. I put about 4/5 drops in a large bowl of water and rinse down there. I carry around wipes and extra pantyliners just in case. I never know when I might get a visitor down there. My knickers are not left out. If I handwash them I make sure I soak them in a bowl of hot water with fabric conditioner. They smell very nice and fresh.

  13. chinco

    September 16, 2013 at 12:01 pm

    I totally agree with July…. The problem is deeper than a
    smelly Vjay… Besides I doubt the housegirl’s Vjay smells much
    better(don’t mean to be condescending)

  14. iredumare

    September 16, 2013 at 12:07 pm

    Well. Everyone before this has said it all.
    I think the woman should talk about it with her husband and insist on sincere answers.
    From questioning, a lot can be revealed.
    I also think men should be involved in this kind of write-ups or share personal experiences, so women can know how our minds work and also our fetish. Trust me! The things in we men’s mind cannot be imagined by any woman.
    To the issue. I say the woman command the man to go down her on the spot. *sigh* some issues can be shocking though, can’t imagine if it was vice-versa

  15. Eve

    September 16, 2013 at 12:13 pm

    This should get better. I agree to the writer not stating size and physique of the woman. But should that really matter.? A woman’s body should be cherished regardless her size. For me a good head is better than any type of sex and can’t see a relationship without it. But she married him. If he can go down on his maid the least he can do is return the years she’s given him by going down on her.But I know after 4 kids that area won’t look as it did b4 the babies. I have a son so I know what one child birth can to to a woman’s body. But the good news is that there are lots of ways to fix a broken bridge. Since ur hubby is that rich i advise u seek a surgeon nd fix what needs to be fixed. I did and i has been an amazing journey so She needs to make her odds work for her. Trust me he’ll drool Ol over you afresh.:-D
    If you seek a divorce u will lose cos u have nothing except ur kids.the man played her to a very tight corner. No work and nothing to fall back on. This is y no matter what a woman should protect her own. Always!.

  16. Zayt

    September 16, 2013 at 12:19 pm

    interesting! cant wait for the comments 😀

  17. Gbemmy

    September 16, 2013 at 12:30 pm

    I have read this story somewhere before

  18. Labelle

    September 16, 2013 at 12:36 pm

    i agree with July too, its beyond a smelly vjay cos i’m sure the housegirl’s vjay doesn’t smell better than his wife’s, probably its the after childbirth factor or something but for whatever reason the man is very cold and heartless, i hope she at least made them know that she caught them? in fact, i don’t know what to even say.

  19. Africhic

    September 16, 2013 at 12:45 pm

    Okay now!

  20. Faith

    September 16, 2013 at 12:51 pm

    One question. Was he present when your kids were born? I have had male friends tell me that the experience of seeing the baby’s head come out has scarred that area for life they cant even look at it. Your husband is probably of the old school thought of some things you don’t do with your wife. It has absolutely nothing to do with you. Even if you have been spraying Chanel No 5 every day of the week it has nothing to do with you. As for the douche bag you are married to I don’t know what to say. Lack of respect for you and for himself ranks high up there. If you want to do your trash, in your own home too? With your maid? How low can he sink to. A man like that cherishes his image, threaten him with destroying that image. I wont be so bold to suggest you get a divorce. Only you can decide that but if you are worried about your finances and being left in the dark because of a divorce. Just threaten him with that picture. Trust me Mrs Turner’s divorce settlement will look like a piece of cake next to yours.

  21. eniola

    September 16, 2013 at 12:58 pm

    lol @ gbemmy. As regards the article, No comment.

  22. BUKKY

    September 16, 2013 at 1:09 pm

    hmmm #WORD! I will come back n check more comments later, keep em coming! im learning from these….

  23. Khaleesi

    September 16, 2013 at 2:17 pm

    Mrs. Anonymous needs a hobby

  24. Dammy Adebiyi

    September 16, 2013 at 2:25 pm

    First, am a single guy might not be able to give accurate response to all your questions as expected from a woman. I don’t really think true love exist in their marriage. The woman got married to the man for a reason best known to her, while I think the man only married her for sexy body structure. The man started showing no interest in her after she gave birth to their kids simply cos she’s loosing her body structure. Well, who’s to be blamed?….many women*african women* after marriage feel so relax in taking care of their body structure they used to possess and this really get to the men, making them misbehave at the long run. This is not an excuse for the rich man in question to stoop so low in getting down with the maid. Its what I call *stupidity of the highest order*. Am not a party to divorce, so I won’t advice you to take such step. Your husband has been cheating on you from day one , when he realized that the sexy body he married to isn’t there anymore. Send the maid packing, work on yourself and then work on your marriage also, even if u don’t intend doing that, you just have to put your kids into consideration. Have to be very blunt with you, go do some medical checkup, force your husbaand to go with you also cos you need to be sure he’s not having any sexual disease(s). Stop giving him head, calculate the number of years you have been going down on him, I think its high time he payed the price also as a punishment. How can you even allow such….giving and not receiving*the rules says, you don’t give, you don’t receive*
    The*choo choo* should be odorless but with a great taste, that would always call for more by the man.
    I enjoyed both.
    Sincerely, I once found myself in such situation and that was my very first time experiencing giving or receiving head during my NYSC some years back. Actually have known this pretty girl for barely a month and seems very nice. She’s not a corp member but a student in an higher institution situated in the state I was serving. I couldn’t sleep for a week, cos I was scared, I might have contacted sexual diesease(s) from her , not until I visited the general hospital….sigh!
    Partener?…you mean my ex- girl. Well she’s a trained nurse based in canada, I don’t need ask her.
    She believe that good sex comes with good heaad lol.

    • tatafo

      September 16, 2013 at 3:02 pm

      Olodo, it’s not about her body changing after kids! The lady said she had never received head from him in the 14 years they have been together (4 years of dating + 10 years of marriage). I’m not sure when they became sexually active but one can assume that for 5 years he knew her before having kids her body structure did not change and he refused to give her head then.

      Typical of men to always assume it’s about weight issues post pregnancy.

  25. Chic

    September 16, 2013 at 2:35 pm

    @Neo The yoghurt is for cleaning the vulva and inner lips not douching infact you shouldn’t even be douching in the first place because the vagina is self cleaning please Google I only found out about it when looking for natural remedies to treat thrush and it comes recommended by Gynecologists

  26. Lola Rose

    September 16, 2013 at 3:02 pm

    i personally dont like head o! dnt knw why just dnt feel it at all. even wen sugar boo begs to do the favors, u shud see me writhing like earthworm they poured salt on, in protest. Oh but u shud see me give head! Wonders! sugar boo loves that and can come 3 times in a row #truestory. it sha all depends on the two of u. u come to a compromise on what works and if the other person is not ready to meet u half way, then please knw tht u need to weigh ur options properly cos wat he has against u goes way beyond ‘head’

    • Anonymous

      September 16, 2013 at 11:30 pm

      Lucky sugar boo…

    • H's boo

      September 17, 2013 at 4:04 am

      Finally, someone spoke my mind. I was beginning to think I had a problem. I dont like head, whether to give or reason I dont want. I dont like to body fluid. lol! le boo begs to give after he receives but I protest. I just dont like it, I dont mind giving though!

  27. Lola Rose

    September 16, 2013 at 3:04 pm

    and yeah to the issue at hand… i do pray not just to not witness such a sight, but for it to never ever happen with my husband. IJN. Amen. Sorry sha just hold ur heart and spend more money, unless uv decided to carry ur kaya and go

  28. Nunu milk

    September 16, 2013 at 3:23 pm

    the comments are hilarious! I’ve been laughing so hard here. Choiiii!
    Awon Lekki marriages *dodges shoes*
    I dont even knw of any advice to give, I’m so sorry
    Still rotfl @ the comments

    • Tb

      September 16, 2013 at 7:32 pm

      Lmaoooo at Awon lekki marriages.

  29. CarliforniaBawlar

    September 16, 2013 at 3:32 pm

    Na wah oh!! Nothing wey person eyes no dey read!!
    Anyways on the matter at hand….I don’t think Mrs Anon’s vagina smells funny jare, no sane woman with a smelly vagina would be comfy telling a man to head down there. Speaking from ‘experience’, even though I’m not sexually active, a previous boyfriend and one FWB wanted to eat from mother nature’s plate 😉 (see serious begging o), but I just wasn’t comfortable. At that time I thought I smelled funny….after the incident with my ‘friend’, i felt so bad , i decided to get checked out. Turns out I was okay, just a natural ‘musk’ (doctor approved 😀 , lol), I just wasn’t accustomed to being that intimate with anyone.
    Mr Highflyer is just a prickhead jare, seeing as he is into the “woman=babyfactory/vacuumcleaner/stove” theory, I agree with folks that say he’s suffering from some sort of complex.

  30. Thatgidigirl

    September 16, 2013 at 3:36 pm

    To start with, I would set aside his own cutlery,cup, plate etc. Bloory idiot!

  31. Dammy Adebiyi

    September 16, 2013 at 5:32 pm

    @ taatafo…..*olodo*lol. Am sure you didn’t take your time to go through my comments not even the write up. Many of you were only concentrating on the man receiving and not giving head. “This article goes beyond “giving or receiving head”. First take a look at this statement: My husband never tells me I look good but he loves it when people say I look well taken care of. It makes him feel like the man”. I think you should also visit paaragraph four of the article, what do u think is the semantic implication of the statements?. The article is not all about *head*my dear, but have tired not to be too judgemental in my comment though.
    Please go back to the article once more, then take your time to read my comments again

    • tatafo!

      September 17, 2013 at 2:20 am

      You’re still an olodo. It is not about her weight. He knew her for five years before their first child and he refused to give her head. Abeg go and sit down somewhere with your b.s theory jare

  32. QueenofEverything

    September 16, 2013 at 6:16 pm

    Lol the comments are hilarious!

    Ok so while I know more than a few people are uncomfortable with the idea, your vajayjay is self cleansing and using soaps, gels etc to wash it tends to upset the ph balance which is will cause more harm than good.
    I have read that pineapples both natural juice (not flavored or from concentrate) and the actual fruit helps it taste better 😉

    To the woman in question, I don’t know anything I can say that can help your situation but you might want to fire your employee ASAP!

  33. whocares

    September 16, 2013 at 9:50 pm

    LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. now that the laugh is out of the way I can focus. personal rule i cannot get into any form of relationship with a person who is unwilling to give head. It is too important. Yes a woman’s choochooo doesnt smell like roses, it is a bit musky, man up and enjoy it anyways, unless the woman is a pig. then you are excused from well savouring duties.

  34. ibukungeorge

    September 16, 2013 at 11:12 pm

    Sigh*Feel so sorry for you.Still speechless.Well not sexually active but I could remember my ex fiance telling me Am an African Man I can’t eat pussy!I told him really,then I can’t give you BJ either.Have heard some guys saying they love the natural smell down there

  35. sissy

    September 16, 2013 at 11:50 pm

    Reading through this piece made me realize how ironic life is.the unmarried trying to get married and lamenting and the married complaining of marital there a level of bliss in this life. menh

    • nawa

      September 17, 2013 at 11:05 am

      and some people wonder why i dont crave for marriage. too many people are suffering in marriage these days. our men are so wicked and heartless and they claim its because they have met so many useless women who have made them not take women seriously. i am not ready to marry just for the sake of it. i cannot be suffering and smiling.
      all these virgin boys these days sef. makes me reconsider waiting for marriage. i cannot even imagine after waiting for this long (especially since im not completely innocent) to now marry a fool that would think he would deny me sexual satisfaction.

    • Idak

      September 17, 2013 at 3:30 pm

      Many people too are suffering in singleness.

  36. Jojo

    September 17, 2013 at 1:30 am

    After reading I was very eager to read through comments. Am married with 3 kids and my hubby loves to go down there almost every time we have sex. If there are times I just tell honey no head tonite pls. Well he actually does nt enjoy s BJ says he finds no pleasure in it. And this is an experience dating way back before he met me. I don’t think the vayjay is the problem here. I think her marriage needs help. Her douche bag husband has found pleasure elsewhere long before she caught and possibly long before the marriage.

  37. toni

    September 17, 2013 at 2:50 am

    am sorry dear, i wonder what attracted your husband to your maid even going so low to her cho cho! Am a man and i know what other men like in a woman. Check your past whether you have misbehaved before? Thats my advice

    • Idak

      September 17, 2013 at 3:28 pm

      Guy, you made me come out of retirement,if only temporarily.
      This idea of pinning dysfunctional sexual acts on some unseen crime committed by the woman is sexist and plain wrong. So the woman must be at fault for the man to trespass? Abeg enough of this guilt burden being heaped on women for invisible sins. Every time woman must check herself,na wetin? Man no dey check himself? Man cheat,woman go dey beg am make dem go counselling! Na wetin?
      Secondly, you know what you want.Don’t speak for all men. Some do not even know what they want sexually. Some times,temptation and lust cannot be rationalised. Have you seen the guys that pick up girls at Sanusi Fafunwa? What is the logic behind that? Guys in correct cars with correct jobs. Explain?

    • hot mama

      September 17, 2013 at 5:07 pm

      @Idak …lmaooo, the guy just had to tempt u to come out of retirement sha

    • jcsgrl

      September 17, 2013 at 8:29 pm

      Lol Idak ehn! Pls no go retirement. Your comments give me life. I have to prep myself to read them

    • biodun

      September 18, 2013 at 5:06 pm

      Because a lot of these men with correct cars and jobs cannot be bothered wining and dining and talking on the phone for hours on end just to get some. We like to go straight to the matter sharpish and of course monetise and back-end those fees/costs!

  38. H's boo

    September 17, 2013 at 5:00 am

    Finally, someone spoke my mind. I was beginning to think I had a problem. I dont like head, whether to give or reason I dont want. I dont like to body fluid. lol! le boo begs to give after he receives but I protest. I just dont like it, I dont mind giving though!

  39. Timmy tim

    September 17, 2013 at 6:01 am

    I honestly think the husband is not sexually attracted to her…there are situations whereby husbands love their wives but might not be sexually attracted to them, its psychological and they both need counselling.

  40. lol

    September 17, 2013 at 2:07 pm

    hhmmmm…..i love head, i give head…. when i am feeling sexy, and want my hubby to be super clean. soon as he lands at home, i will just start making faces and singing the lollipop song….heheheh, trust my hubby, he will wash like he is going for environmental sanitation inspection.

    on the other hand, madam, i have 1 question for you… Does your hubby know you saw them?
    If he doesn’t, then you still have an edge… just jejely pretend like you saw nothing, keep your cool, and when mr hubby is not home, do yourself some good, put some money in 2 envelops, give one to the maid, the other should be addressed to the person who brought the maid[agent].

    In all cases, i believe you must have sourced for the maid and brought her home. So just drive her straight back to where you got her, or wait till the agent arrives to pick her up [make sure your hubby is well away during this process o].

    When mr. hubby arrives, just tell him, you took a nap, on waking up, she suddenly was no where to be found….and also, make sure somethings are missing, so you can claim she stole them.

    or else…..GOBE!!!

  41. Zayt

    September 17, 2013 at 2:59 pm

    @lol your comment doesn’t make sense jor. so whats the point of pretending she didn’t see them and sending the househelp away only to frame her for stealing

  42. Idak

    September 17, 2013 at 3:43 pm

    I beg make una answer number 4 question as stated in the article. After all, na part of the question set.

  43. gee

    September 17, 2013 at 5:31 pm

    There are lots of things that should be corrected in a relationship. Before the marriage phase and if you know you can’t leave with it,correct them before the “ido” phase. 2ndly,its obvious ur husband isn’t attracted to u and somewhat proud of you cos it’s obvious when a man is into’s possible he married u just cos u were a “good girl” not cos he was crazy about you. As for catching him,you don’t have no savings please don’t cause issues,be calm,save up,possibly sell some of his properties,even golds and diamonds but before then make sure you send tthe maid packing today. And after you’ve acquired enough wealth,sue for divorce. Go out,get someone to go down on you till you get tired and enjoy your is too short.

  44. Gucci

    September 18, 2013 at 8:11 am

    1} Beat her up then sack her
    2} A woman’s choo choo should smell like a pot of honey although mine doesn’t smell like that. Mine smells like Pineapples because ever since I heard thePineapple story, all I seem to be eating now are Pineapples
    3} I enjoy both. I’m a giver and taker
    4} Hmmmm. I’m not sure if I can give a total stranger head but. I won’t rule it out because I know that anything can happen
    5}Lol. He must be smoking lala to be able to tell me that. If he tries that with me, I’ll just play Olamides “Go down low” for him

  45. Niyi

    September 18, 2013 at 8:47 am

    1. What would you do if you were the woman in question? IM MALE SO…DUNNO!
    2. What exactly should a woman’s “choo choo” smell of and how does your smell? AGAIN! MALE. BUT I ALWAYS SAY THAT A ‘HEALTHY’ V SHOULD SMELL LIKE FISH (NOT ROTTEN) AND TASTE LIKE TOMATOES AND MAYONNAISE.
    4. Have you ever been in a position where you found yourself giving a total stranger “head”? HELL-TO-THE-NO! WILL NEVER HAPPEN!
    5. Has your partner ever told you he/she doesn’t like to give head? WE CANT GET TO THE ‘PARTNER’ STAGE WITH A MINDSET LIKE THAT.

  46. B!

    September 18, 2013 at 11:45 am

    I am truly confused here. I know that the whole giving head
    or not is being paraded as the main issue but he is basically
    cheating with her house help! In my opinion whether he gives head
    or not is irrelevant because he is clearly a chauvinistic prick. HE
    likes women to stay at home and look after kids, despite the fact
    that she wants to work. He likes it when she goes down on him but
    WILL NOT do the same for her and even goes as far as telling her
    she smells rotten. That man has issues! I simply cannot ignore the
    fact that he is doing stuff with your house help. Maybe you should
    start doing stuff for yourself and not worry about what your
    husband thinks . He clearly doesn’t give a shit about your opinion.
    Sweetheart, if you want to work, from now on, WORK. If you want
    someone to give you head, find someone willing! I don’t think I
    could live with someone who is so blatantly disrespectful of me but
    you’re an adult and this is about you, not me. I’m not trying to
    tell you what to do but there are so many issues here aside from
    the head issues that you need to consider.

  47. mr_babson

    September 18, 2013 at 8:47 pm

    Lmao!!!!! I just pray my future wife reads bella naija. I’m
    a northerner that only comes to the south (lasgidi) when traveling
    out. This website makes me want to relocate to Lag.

  48. Di

    September 18, 2013 at 9:55 pm

    See gobe

  49. fiesty chic

    September 18, 2013 at 10:31 pm

    @ niyi o my God! your answer to number 2 was just hilarious. you dey find tuna fish sandwich for there? I’m so happy to see Africans talking about vjayjays like this.

  50. fiesty chic

    September 18, 2013 at 10:36 pm

    as to the questions:

    1. i don’t know what I will do o! pray I never get to see such.
    2. someone once told me mine smells of cherries or straweberries. I wash the thing like you’ve never seen. no artificial flavouring either, just regular water and soap.
    3.I am the queen of BJ’s. Love it and can do it all the time if you let me and you “MUST’ give me head too. that is an absolute must. I am a sexperimenter so I love doing different shit. Not overly crazy stuff though.
    4. nope. we have to have reached the level where I agree to sleep with you before I can give you head.
    5. They cannot even try that cos na there the matter go end. No head = No BJ = no sex.

  51. gcfr

    September 18, 2013 at 10:42 pm

    Hahahahahahahahahahhahahaha…. Lafd 4m beginnnin 2 end…. D trut is just find a startegy 4 ur sef… Cos u alone know exactly hw u feel……. All d same ma apologies

  52. love..

    September 19, 2013 at 11:31 am

    sam men r really dogs..mtcheeewww

  53. Belladivah

    September 19, 2013 at 8:16 pm

    So sad…. But in the end she needs to forgive and move on. There’s never a reasonable explanation for such acts. A being who truly serves and worships the Almighty would by the help of the Holy Spirit never indulge in such. God help us!

  54. Catwoman

    September 20, 2013 at 9:56 am

    A woman’s choo choo should smell like cat-fish pepper soup.

  55. Spectator

    September 20, 2013 at 10:00 am

    I’m speechless…These men ehn, one can’t live with them, nor without them

  56. Bolanle

    September 20, 2013 at 11:00 am

    I don’t think the issue is oral sex. Ariyike asks the wrong questions and many of you are giving the wrong answers. The issue here is infidelity not oral sex. Would she even remember oral sex if she had caught them having actual sex (which they probs were going to have if she didn’t walk in)?

  57. Ne

    September 20, 2013 at 2:30 pm

    The comments here are hmmm

  58. Malika

    September 26, 2013 at 10:01 am

    Chei, some men have the guts.If i ever catch my man, will Alshabab him what a prick.ok answers to the question
    What would you do if you were the woman in question?will take a picture of them and blackmail him lol
    2. What exactly should a woman’s “choo choo” smell of and how does your smell?should smell natural bt everybody differs.i wash mine very well and insert a middle finger to remove all the dirt with feminine wash sorry for too much info lol
    3. Do you enjoy giving or receiving head or both?i enjoy receiving and giving it yummy
    4. Have you ever been in a position where you found yourself giving a total stranger “head”?Hell to the NO too many STD’s out there.
    5. Has your partner ever told you he/she doesn’t like to give head?Most of the time i get good compliments, i think im an expert lol

  59. Anonymous

    October 1, 2013 at 10:43 am

    A friend’s mum found her husband on top of her house help in the kitchen in the middle of the night. She calmly closed the door and went back to bed. That man became afraid cos he kept expecting her do or say something but she just continued life as normal. He first of all sacked the house help by himself and Before she even asks for something he’s already provided it. That is the power do silence! This may not work for all situations sha!

  60. Anonymous

    October 1, 2013 at 10:44 am

    I meant power of silence

  61. African King

    October 3, 2013 at 4:55 pm

    Hmmm.I’m also stunned @ d boldness of dis write up. I never knew dis many naija babes luv giving n receiving head,i guess dis is probably due to privacy of dis site.Why are all dis babes lying dat dey can never give a stranger head?they should go and tell dat to d marines! I luv giving and receiving head period.

  62. Koffie

    October 4, 2013 at 3:36 pm

    Hehehe, I will start eating pineapples like. Crazy now. I thought thandem was playing on words when he wrote he’s from the north but likes going. South.lmaooo. I shave after my periods and use intimate wash (femfresh) cos I av to but to the lady that dips her middle finger in feminine wash and chooks it in her vjayjay, I advise u stop. You shld use it for the area alone not dip it inside thr cos its a self cleaning oven. I’m keeping the vjayjay on lockdown till he puts a ring on it(not on d vjj, stop) but I know I’ll want to try everything and the boo must better be able to eat the ish. I must know his mentality abt sex b4hand sef. God help me and God, biko, I want a sexually satifying happy marriage afTer my wait

  63. Koffie

    October 4, 2013 at 3:40 pm

    * @mr. Mandem rather
    Don’t undertstand why this phone is putting full stops where I didn’t

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