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“Don’t Let Your Ego Control You”! Peeshaun of the Skuki Duo is Back with More Relationship Advice, this Time for the Gents

BellaNaija.com

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Skuki of Peeshuan - January 2014 - BellaNaija

Something tells us Peeshaun of the Skuki Duo is a fan of BellaNaija.com…or at least knows what will get the  Federal Republic of BellaNaija Nation talking.

After sending out tweets on Monday advising women on how to make their relationships work better, the music star of pop group Skuki got a lot of praises. If you missed it, click here.

Today, he is on to the men.

53 Comments

  1. Shorthairdontcare

    January 11, 2014 at 4:51 pm

    Wonderful advice

    • BellaYankee

      January 12, 2014 at 12:46 am

      Had no idea this guy was so smart

  2. viv

    January 11, 2014 at 4:53 pm

    Hmm well spoken, point 8 speaks volumes. People be wise.

  3. princess

    January 11, 2014 at 5:00 pm

    If u practise wht u preach, then u must be a rare gem!

  4. kike Jay

    January 11, 2014 at 6:06 pm

    I read his last post, this is simply beautiful. @Princess,
    true if he lives by the words in his writings, then his future wife
    is really lucky.

  5. well said!!!

    January 11, 2014 at 7:17 pm

    all important 8 and 9 did it for me!yes,hope u practise
    what you preach tho!

  6. Mp

    January 11, 2014 at 7:38 pm

    Pls who’s this guy? Tripping already. Ish forget am in a
    serious r/ship. Pls all guys need to read this. Forwarding it to my
    bf now!

  7. Hollynolly

    January 11, 2014 at 7:42 pm

    Very well said Mr Suki! It can only takes the grace of God
    and a discipline man to put that into practise because men and
    their ego …..

  8. Dr. N

    January 11, 2014 at 8:12 pm

    Well thought out. Maybe he’s going into the life coach biz,
    seems it’s trending. Ok o. http://www.drnsmusings.wordpress.com

  9. Modella

    January 11, 2014 at 8:13 pm

    Why then did he broke up with Mocheddah,if he practice what he preaches???and ohhh,I missed her on the social scene!

    • MN

      January 11, 2014 at 8:33 pm

      Duhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!! relationships work out or they don’t,
      whatever happened in their relationship is their business. Abi they
      were married ni?

  10. nhia

    January 11, 2014 at 8:17 pm

    The man will not be not be my damn leader or the captain of my any ship. what because he has a penis? That is his qualification? Why should their be hierarchies in a relationship. How about complimenting each other? In the areas the woman is weak, her man can step in and in the area in which a man is weak his wife can step in?

    I honestly think that word “Helper” tells more of the dissatisfied state of the males more than it does of the woman’s status. When we say “God is our help in the time of trouble” does that
    indicate any subordination of God to us? The “helper” is “an
    independent person who makes up a significant deficiency or
    helplessness in the other”. This complementariness is not one of heirachy but I believe it to be sexual and spiritual. A helper does not signify a position of servititude or assistantship. The woman is nothing but a proper counterpart to man. The bone of his bone and the
    flesh of his flesh.

    • Hadassah

      January 11, 2014 at 11:44 pm

      I think you are taking that statement or concept out of context. Can two people drive a car or steer a ship at once? NO. And I get your point about the patriarchy thing but unfortunately we live in a man’s world. Just how it’s expected for the wife to take up the husbands name. So he’s the head of the family and the wife unfortunately is a member. Now the problem is when the husband thinks the wife is irrelevant or disregards her. But no matter how we argue it the man’s designed to be the head of the family.

    • Jesseswife

      January 12, 2014 at 1:25 am

      Can a ship have two captains…blah,blah, blah!!! Partners in a relationship should be able to steer a ship at different times. Where one is weak, the other should pick up the slack!! Man was not born or designed to be the head. It is a lie that society and a very patriarchal culture has sold to us. Women are working as hard as men and are contributing meaningfully to the society and a woman should not have to lower herself in a relationship. Your husband is not your head!Your husband is supposed to be your partner, your lover,your rock, your support and you as a woman should be the same thing to your husband! We are just breeding a generation of entitled men with this bullshit mentality!!

  11. AA

    January 11, 2014 at 8:55 pm

    Much better. That nonsense he wrote to women was dripping
    of arrogance but this is much better. However, you should also
    advice men about adultery. That is what is ruining a lot of
    marriages in this country.

    • omada

      January 12, 2014 at 3:40 pm

      gbam!!!

  12. Gloxy

    January 11, 2014 at 9:48 pm

    The write- up is so encouraging

  13. sassycassie

    January 11, 2014 at 10:43 pm

    LOL! Talk about damage control. I guess he reads bellanaija. Good write up, though

    • omada

      January 12, 2014 at 3:40 pm

      no be small thing…

  14. grace bassey

    January 11, 2014 at 10:55 pm

    Nhia well spoken

  15. BA

    January 11, 2014 at 11:13 pm

    Dear Nhia, you have spoken well. Thank you.

  16. kike Jay

    January 11, 2014 at 11:56 pm

    Nhia, you are missing the point. A ship cannot have 2 captains. Its your type of thinking that makes women fight for control. There would always arise situations in a marriage where opinions clash, and you have to choose either the woman’s way or the man’s own. At times like that a woman has to let the husband play his role as the head. The man may choose to follow his wife’s way. Remember, it is the bible that places headship on the man, don’t let the devil confuse you

    • Jesseswife

      January 12, 2014 at 1:30 am

      Yeah, the same bible that endorses rape and genocide!!!

    • Grace

      January 12, 2014 at 9:08 pm

      Well if you cannot accept what the bible says at least to respect God then go and create your own planet and put your own creation of beings. if not stop vomiting trash. How did God promote rape and genocide? if God tells you what will happen to you in the future as a result of the wrong decisions you made and how Satan will have an entrance into your life and cause havoc does it means he is the one that caused it? God sees the future and if he tells people their future you blame him for telling them abi? if you don’t know him nor understand him it will be very very wise for you to stop pointing fingers at him when it is humans who made wrong decisions and reap the consequences for their stupidness and foolishness. Danm

    • Cancel Reply

      January 13, 2014 at 12:45 am

      The bible has loads and loads of contradiction. God supposedly destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah because of homosexuality, right? but then this same God saved Lot and his daughters from the destruction and then the Daughters went ahead and slept with their father (rather they raped him), because Lot was not aware. So basically God destroyed their city because of homosexuality but turned a blind eye to incest and sexually abuse????

      And I agree with Jessewife above, the bible has endorsed rape and forceful marriage in so many instances in the bible. E.g Deuteronomy 21:10 – 21:14, Deuteronomy 22:28-29,Numbers 31:15-18

    • nhia

      January 12, 2014 at 6:08 am

      I am so sick and tired of people that use the analogy of ships and cars without fleshing out that analogy deeply. Like its that black and white. In your friendships, does one person have to be the leader? Why is it different when it comes to a relationship with a man as a woman. Why does one have to be the head? what is so special about a man that he is automatically giving the role of leadership because he has a penis.
      And if you must use a car analogy in a real practical sense, where the car is your relationship and life is the journey. In the course of the journey, it will be practical that two abled individuals in that car who can operate the vehicle take turns in driving so the other can take a break. Or maybe one person observes the map and makes sure the person who is driving is making the right turns. so in this case who is the leader? Is it the one giving out directions or the one driving and taking directions.? I think the bigger question is why does it even matter right? The main goal is to get to the destination on time and safe. So even using that analogy and applying it practically, the idea of appointing a head is unnecessary. I will assume that if they got in the car together, they had a common goal of arriving in the same destination. “Can two work together except they agree”. Agreement being the key word. Compromise being the glue of the agreement.

      It so funny how a subjugated group begins to rationalize their subjugation. They pull every analogy out if their ass to support the hierarchy.
      It’s a “mans” world just as much as it is a “white mans” world but that didn’t stop people like martin luther king to fight for justice and equality. Because something has been so from the beginning of time doesn’t make it right an it sure as hell doesn’t mean it cant change.

      And please dont quote the bible using the teachings of paul, because if you really want to go by that, you probably should not be using the internet until your husband has given you permission, and if you aint got a husband then you are shit outta luck.

      It was very clear t that Paul’s social climate was quite different. And sometimes I wonder if paul knew that one day the little “emails” he sent to the various churches will become part of a bible that everyone had to follow….I divert

      Paul was either not bold enough or the lord just didn’t work on him
      in that area. Paul took a very neutral and safe stance when it came
      to entrenched evil social institutions like slavery and misogyny. He
      had a penchant to relating these injustices to Christ. He always
      found a way. Sort of like an appeasement or consolation. He never
      challenged these institutions. “Tell slaves to be submissive to their masters and
      to give satisfaction in every respect; they are not to talk back, not
      to pilfer, but to show complete and perfect fidelity, so that in
      everything they may be an ornament to the doctrine of God our Savior.”
      *blank stare*. Do you see how freaking absurd that scripture is today? keep in mind slavery was not cute then either. or he goes
      “Women submit to your husbands” or the one where he tells women to be silent in church. It is these same scriptures slave masters used to support slavery and it is this same paul’s teaching people have used to support patriarchy.

    • hawa

      January 12, 2014 at 11:03 am

      I agree with you wholeheartedly.

    • Grace

      January 12, 2014 at 9:36 pm

      Am not surprised oh…
      No matter the phd qualifications, masters, psychology, name all the degrees in the world. IF you have all of these it will not help you understand the bible. and why? Because the bible was inspired by the most intelligent being alive and people with so called knowledge and intelligence they acquired will stumble on God’s word and fall.
      why is this? The wisdom of man is foolishness to God. if you approach the bible with a humble heart to learn, understand and know then you will gain much because you will like to know the truth but if you are being sceptic the outcome is your outburst on the passages you highlighted.
      it was who made the man the head of the woman in a marriage relationship not as a slave but as a head and direction the way Jesus Christ is the head of the church and we are the body.
      Most people have read scriptures and mis-interpreted it not even praying for God to help them understand for the ability to understand the scriptures too comes from God.
      you just helped me understand the passage that says the carnal man cannot receive the things of God or how God thinks because they are foolishness unto him.
      the man is the head because she was taken out of a man okay? God made the man before the woman. I am tired of people who cannot even create one life or planet or even one insect try to say the one who made the world and the breadth you take in and out that he is wrong in some sort of way. YOU CANNOT DELIBRATELY GO AGAINST GOD’S LAW OF CREATION AND EXPECT THINGS TO GO WELL WITH YOU. when you break a law there are consequences.
      if you see an error in how God has created humans and the world. then please go and create yours from scratch if you can….

    • nhia

      January 12, 2014 at 10:27 pm

      No Grace you cannot ignorantly misinterpret the experiences people had with God in the bible and tell me that it is law. Please do tell me about the state of marriage today and how the system we are in has helped any better. I like how you have used fear and sensationalism to reply me and not made any valid points to prove what I have said is wrong. You didn’t counter anything about slavery or the fact that a woman shouldn’t speak in public according to Paul. lol. Carry on. Let the man be the head of you. Stop babying these men and their egos biko. We need to start raising better Sons

    • AA

      January 12, 2014 at 10:45 pm

      Wow! Nothing but respect for you!!!

  17. Nala

    January 12, 2014 at 1:23 am

    I used to be married to one of the most egoistic n prideful piece of s**t (fexcuse my french) that ever walked the planet. It was his way or the highway n he had the most frightening temper ever known to man. It was only a matter of time b4 he started hitting me n he tried his damnedest too destroy my self esteem. He was the man n he ddnt need ur input in any kind of decision making.
    I walked out of that marriage n now im engaged to the most wonderful man in the world, someone God designed especially for me. He is everything Skuki said in his post. Very patient, understands me even more than i understand myself, n even when i am being a pain in the butt, he doesnt even react at the moment n brings it up later in such a way that makes me realise my mistakes. And he loves me crazily n will do anything for me but on occasion he has had to put his foot down on some issues. He alloews me to be me n accepts me like that which is more than i can say for my ex.
    It might seem improbable, but there are still men like Skuki mentioned but they are rare n hard to come by. Ive got my blessing from God n we are tying the knot shortly n i feel so blessed. Skuki is right on point

  18. Xtsy

    January 12, 2014 at 2:42 am

    Go n hook up wit toke

  19. Ib

    January 12, 2014 at 5:36 am

    This dude is rubbing me the wrong way.

  20. pomioey

    January 12, 2014 at 12:45 pm

    motivational thinking and speaking never ends,but acting right has just always been impossible. almost we all know these o,but to act it is d nutcase.

  21. Lapes Beautiful Creature

    January 12, 2014 at 2:02 pm

    If only guys would read this though.

  22. Anon

    January 12, 2014 at 8:04 pm

    Boring….

  23. kike Jay

    January 12, 2014 at 8:11 pm

    Nhia, are you married. Am only asking because you seem to have a single ladies point of view on this whole ‘headship’ thing. I am sure that your kind of approach is what brings ego out of a man, even if he had none before. There are so many different issues that come up in marriage like family, friends, career, kids etc. You need to prepare for times when you and your man would not be on the same page, the times when you feel he is making a wrong decision and he too would feel yours is the wrong one. In that type of situation you just need to let him be the head, especially if he listens to you once in a while. Don’t forget, you absolutely disagree with his opinion, so you need to have self control. Situations would test your love in a marriage, forget that thing about 2 captains, and one person steers the ship and when he gets tired, the other person takes over. Situations would arise when you both want to have your decision. I hope you won’t misunderstand me

    • nhia

      January 12, 2014 at 10:36 pm

      No I am not married. I intend to be single for the rest of my life if I cant find a man who sees me as his equal. Because the way I am set up ehn, that just goes against my whole system. I will be a miserable soul. The thought of it makes me miserable. I actually think the reason why is because i consider myself to be extremely considerate to a fault and I cant phantom being in a relationship with someone who cant give me that. I expect that there are times we should compromise and there are times we should prayerfully seek God in a road block. Funny enough I actually know guys who agree with my interpretation of that scripture who are married happily and have refused to lord the headship thing on their wives.

  24. fashionista

    January 12, 2014 at 8:36 pm

    How many of them these days are even “feeding” the family?! That is a dying trend i tell you but many woman wont oust their men which is fair enough. Frankly, i am of the opinion that marriage will soon become extinct, i am a wife and i realise that there are just too many factors working against the institution.

  25. Hmmm

    January 12, 2014 at 9:19 pm

    Grace may your way never ever be narrow & may you live long GBAM!!!!

  26. Grace

    January 12, 2014 at 9:40 pm

    I don’t think there is any justification whatsoever for a man to have an ego.
    there can be respect and value on a person but this ego thing where does it come from cos I know God does not have an ego otherwise we will all be dead and gone. he is very humble, calm and meek. those encouraging ego should trace the source of the ego.
    The man has his position as the head and should do so including loving the wife unconditionally, protecting and holding the marriage.

  27. nhia

    January 12, 2014 at 10:40 pm

    “YOU CANNOT DELIBRATELY GO AGAINST GOD’S LAW OF CREATION AND EXPECT THINGS TO GO WELL WITH YOU. ” lmao at the capital letters. Nne are you screaming from the top of mount Sinai? Moses has already done his work oh. Make you leave am. ooooooo I am scared the judgement of the lord is upon me. *goes to hide under the rock* *eye roll*

  28. Ohboy

    January 12, 2014 at 11:23 pm

    There is no justification for men to have an ego? Uhhh…Tostesterone maybe???
    The same way women are prone to be more emotional than rational, or am i talking bullcrap now?
    I am completely for mutual partnership, my fiance and I operate that way. We run a company and own it 50-50, i brought the cash, she brought the idea. I brought the strategy, she brought her time and energy and handles communications.
    However some of you get into a relationship and begin headbutting the guy. I have an ego, but my love for my future would not allow my ego get in the way of us. She get emotional and angry with me but she would not say things that would be hard to take back.
    In some relationships like the one with my parents, my mother was a complete tyrant, she was in charge and everybody had to lick her boots, almost literally at times. Too much power in either direction does not foster love but fear and resentment. But some of you here would remain single forever because you claim to want equality but are really looking for a doormat and end up single, angry and venomous. I know you when i see you, and i give two arms length so you dont poison the beautiful well that is my relationship.
    I am not a christian or muslim , so i am not with the whole god says bullcrap. But generally speaking Men have egos, its hormonal as well as their drive to succeed. Women are emotional and delicate beings. THESE ARE FACTS! It does not make one weak, it makes one suited for the different roles in a relationship.

  29. @IamMcPetros

    January 13, 2014 at 6:32 am

    Hello Ladies. I’m A Guy. #Skuki Is Damn Right. Thanks Yo Blooda! I’ll Practices Your ISH. But This Your ISH Fit Mek The Ladies Dey Feel Badoo. Allah, See, E No Go Easy Nah. The Thing Be Say Me Go Bone Your ISH, Keep The Flesh To Mysef. To The Ladies, Pray Mek Una Get The Kind Guy Wey #Skuki Dey Analysis For Here Joor. I’m Free Oh. *wink* Mek The Ladie Holla.

    I no go school oh buh me sha dey blog via paulmcpetros.wordpress.com

    • silky creme

      January 14, 2014 at 11:52 pm

      Naa, you’re basically begging for attention…I can see your tongue slobbering for it. Not here honey, go back.

  30. Blessmyheart

    January 13, 2014 at 9:02 am

    BN what happened to my comment? Was it in anyway offensive? *confused*

  31. Laury

    January 13, 2014 at 10:39 am

    …….u guys are all missing the point. He is advertising himself for Chidinma na…NB: Miss Kedike take note

  32. eki

    January 13, 2014 at 11:17 am

    l wish God should allow us choose our sex, location and family before coming to Earth…l promise you l would be a Man in Africa and a Woman in Europe…lol

  33. Es

    January 13, 2014 at 4:43 pm

    This guy is deep! WOW

  34. Megzy

    January 13, 2014 at 4:45 pm

    Please who is this guy and what does he do?

  35. Wildcat

    January 21, 2014 at 9:04 am

    Thumb up to *ohboy* kindly agree with you TOTALLY. And nhia, women have always think they have to be equal with men to feel powerful neglectin the fact that submission does not mean be a slave or doormat. It is people like you that runshod against authority. The truth is that you detest authority. period! The man being the head does not neccessarily confer on him to be inconsiderate. Feminism has always be awkard.

  36. Mr Emmanuel Stephen Agara

    March 29, 2014 at 12:14 am

    This is Awesome, wow!!! I can’t be leave a Man can really think lyk this… Women need to sit n think of it man cos is gud 4 all. Nice Idea logic

  37. Rogers

    March 29, 2014 at 12:19 am

    Everybody deserves this advice.

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