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Fola Daniel Adelesi: Don’t Blame Those Who Don’t Support Your Dreams

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Having a dream is very important but beyond the dreams, achieving them is the real thing. I recently said that the world does not honour noble intentions. It only respects results. Some years ago, I saw a video titled ‘the greatest inventions that were never achieved.’ Ideas can be lofty and you may also sound grandiloquent while expressing the ideas, but we need much more than the grammatical colouration and packaging. We want to see it happen.

Why is it that some people have great dreams and all they ever have is the dream with no result to show for the dreams? We can go on with a long list of reasons the dreams of people do not come to pass. In some countries of the world, including my own unique country, Nigeria, people blame the failure of their dreams on the government or the society. There are people who think the failure to actualize their dream was because of the family they were born into, or the circumstances surrounding their birth.

A few others really think that if they had been born into a wealthy family, they would have been able to achieve their dreams easily. That may not be so far from the truth, but it could also have turned out differently. Some of the people who start out on the platform of wealth are so comfortable that they will never be forced to think as hard as you are thinking. You don’t have it all so your survival instinct is forcing some creative juices out of you. If I will put it in another way, I should say it is pressure induced creativity.

It does not even matter if it is pressure induced creativity or not. I always appreciate the fact that people are thinking. So many people think their dreams are not being achieved because of the people who have refused to help them. They have presented wonderful ideas to some people, who in their opinions have the resources to help, but these people always come up with one excuse or the other and never help.

Some people even make promises to you and they allow you to relax. By the time you are completely relaxed, you suddenly realize that a lot of time has passed and nothing has happened. When you get back on your feet to follow up, you realize nothing was going to happen in the first place.

I have been there. I have spoken to people about my dreams. On several occasions I have shared how I intend to do some businesses or even run organizations that will strictly mentor teenagers and help them to become purposeful in life. I can’t count how many proposals I have written with tons of emails already exchanged. Some of those conversations start on a great note with some promises. At the end of it all you just discover that you have been dispensing some energy that you ought to conserve.

The natural tendency is to get bitter with some of those people. It’s even worse if they are your relatives and you see them on daily basis doing good or even living large. Sometimes you may even calculate in your head that what this person spends in a month is far more than the capital you are requesting. If you are even going to achieve that dream in your heart, one of the things you need to avoid is being bitter with those people. If you ask me why, I’ll tell you that bitterness is too acidic for both you and the dreams that you carry. It’s like a pregnant woman taking alcohol and gulping it like water.

Never blame the people who don’t support you over the dreams of your heart. With or without them, if you don’t make them the focus of your life, the dreams can be achieved. You also need to remember that they were not the people who put the dreams in your heart. They had no idea how the dreams got there and when they also choose not to help, they will have no idea how the dreams will materialize.

You owe your dream a duty to stay committed to it and keep thinking, modifying, brainstorming, consulting and making propositions until the dream is achieved. I have seen people whose dreams became a reality and they are indeed grateful to those people who refused to help them. In fact, they say that if those people had helped them when they wanted the help, they may not have done much in life. Some of those other people that you are also blaming for not helping you are probably those who would have destroyed the dreams if they got on board to help. A few of them might take over everything from you or just choke the idea to death.

It is your dream, not theirs. If no one else believes in you, I do. I also know that the dreams you have been nurturing will become a reality so long as you keep working at them. If you choose to keep blaming those who have not helped you or are not helping you, your energy that could be used on getting the job done will be expended on blaming and fighting people.

Some of them will come back to say they are sorry they did not help or they may watch from a distance. Just know that their help is not the constant factor in the achievement of your dream. It is a variable. You are the mother of that dream. You must nurture it, watch it grow and eat your reward when it comes. At that point there will be no other person coming to claim that they did it for you, thus having to remit some of your rewards!

Photo Credit: mostphotos.com
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Fola Daniel Adelesi is a professional public speaker who also trains other speakers, an author, business consultant and highly skilled master of ceremony with excellent poise and diction. He was on the Debaters TV reality show season 1, presented ‘You Can’ on Radio Continental in 2011, did motivational segments on Galaxy TV from Dec 2008 to August 2009 and has authored 3 books including Writing Business Proposals.

Fola Daniel Adelesi (also Fola Daniel Speaks) is a Professional Public Speaker, Learning & Development Expert, Communications Professional, and an author of more than 13 books. He's a highly engaging training facilitator who holds his audience spellbound when speaking at gatherings. Apart from his several platforms which include banks, insurance companies, and religious organizations, he has been part of some national television shows and he spoke so intelligently. Some of his published books include: - Get Up and Hit That Goal - Basic Skills for Outstanding Leadership - Breaking Grounds Despite Backgrounds - Writing Business Proposals - Indebted to Ignorance He's also a highly skilled master of ceremony with excellent poise and diction who is endeared to many corporate clients. He was on the Debaters TV reality show Season 1, he presented 'You Can' on Radio Continental in 2011 and he did motivational segments on Galaxy Television from Dec. 2008 to August 2009. He currently features consistently on Channels Television and Television Continental, two of the leading TV stations in Nigeria to discuss national and youth issues. He keeps a vlog at https://youtube.com/foladanielspeaks and his books are available on https://amazon.com/author/foladanielspeaks or https://ediblepen.org/shop

28 Comments

  1. pynk

    February 20, 2014 at 9:03 am

    Making too much sense

  2. Agatha

    February 20, 2014 at 9:11 am

    Nice 1 Fola…permit me to add ”don’t let go of your dreams, never give up the struggle/hussle to reach your zenith ( be happy), never give in to the down sides/times…life is a gift”

  3. Dr. N

    February 20, 2014 at 9:40 am

    I only share my dreams with fellow dreamers. Don’t want what happened to Joseph to happen to me. Perhaps there was an easier way to the throne without d slavery n all. We’ll never know. Even if I need your support, if u’ve never shared with me, I steer clear. Some people’s criticism live with u for life.

    drnsmusings.wordpress.com

  4. http://www.anemistyle.com

    February 20, 2014 at 10:01 am

    Very helpful and inspiring post. Thanks

  5. lindanotikeji

    February 20, 2014 at 10:05 am

    Fola, uve come a long way. Remember u on The Debaters. So cute.

  6. Lecker

    February 20, 2014 at 10:18 am

    thank u Fola, and @ Agatha for urs too

  7. Tosyne

    February 20, 2014 at 10:35 am

    Nice one! I needed this. Bless u

  8. http://www.thelmathinks.blogspot.com/

    February 20, 2014 at 11:19 am

    “the world does not honour noble intentions. It only respects results.” Spot on. The whole write up is…. The words fail me. All I can say us Thank you Fola Daniel Adelesi for this. You spoke to me.

    thelmathinks.blogspot.com

  9. omel

    February 20, 2014 at 12:26 pm

    Thank you.

  10. www.LapesBeautifulCreature.blogspot.com

    February 20, 2014 at 1:23 pm

    Such a great article. I don’t believe in depending on people for anything. God is the only one who will back you 100% and He’s the one who will also raise men and women to help you. He uses the people you least expect. So its best not to put hope in man to avoid frustration and bitterness

    • jcsgrl

      February 20, 2014 at 4:52 pm

      Yes! Yes! Yes! One of the biggest lessons I have learned in life. Whenever I go seeking people for help, whether networking, reaching out, sharing ideas, they never offer me help. All of a sudden from nowhere, someone I dont know or expect will show up and help. Sometimes, I get tired of networking because my networks have disappointed me. Its always from the unexpected or without anybody’s help most the time. It makes me wonder if going to people or talking to them is even worth it…in my life o! Well if God is my only dream helper hey then so be it! I aint complaining.

    • Ekwitosi

      February 20, 2014 at 5:44 pm

      @jcsgrl let me tell you something about networking, it works when 1. The person has been in the same situation where you are so they show more empathy. 2. People are more receptive to networking when they feel that some how if not today you would come in useful one day soon. 3. They are generally nice and just want to show politeness. I agree with you because sometimes help can come from an unexpected place!

    • jcsgrl

      February 21, 2014 at 8:34 pm

      @Ekwi darling you talk true. I guess I haven’t come across people who empathize with me or see any future prospects with me…yikes!

  11. X Factor

    February 20, 2014 at 1:36 pm

    Word!

  12. oj

    February 20, 2014 at 3:15 pm

    i really enjoyed your write up. keep it up

  13. Grace Tsumbu

    February 20, 2014 at 3:24 pm

    Wonderfully put! Please let me add. “it’s your dream and if no one believes in you, you owe it to your self to keep believing in you! Persistence Pays!!! gracistsumbuli.wordpress.com

  14. Fola Daniel Adelesi

    February 20, 2014 at 6:27 pm

    Thank you all. I wish I can get a little more personal with my response. I’ve been out all day speaking and already preparing for another speaking engagement. I read all your comments. Please keep them coming because the motivate me too:)

  15. DEE

    February 20, 2014 at 8:42 pm

    Well Said G!

  16. Zeezah

    February 20, 2014 at 10:34 pm

    This is what I do each time I have a dream. I get a pen and a sheet of paper, write it down, keep it under my pillow, praying over it until I start achieving it and still continue to pray even after it has been achieved, since prayers itself is a continous daily activity, I don’t share my dreams with anyone but only my mentors both home and abroad, I only share the moment I start achieving it and make sure I pray hard about it because I believe that with prayers, things will definitely move well, so lets all REMEMBER TO PRAY in everything we do in life…

  17. chinedozi

    February 21, 2014 at 9:56 am

    you came @ d right time. Welcome!!! Thanks for coming.

  18. Deep Soul

    February 24, 2014 at 11:27 am

    Very well written. Thoroughly enjoyed reading this as I can relate! God bless you..

  19. pazzy

    February 25, 2014 at 11:17 am

    Cool write up, inspirating… keep it up

  20. pazzy

    February 25, 2014 at 11:21 am

    Cool write up, never trust anyone…God is the perfect solution to ur dreams… keep it up fola.

  21. VICTOR AYEDUN

    February 28, 2014 at 1:39 pm

    Wonderful write up God bless you

  22. BS

    March 11, 2014 at 1:05 pm

    Well said…You are responsible for achieving your dreams. No one should be blamed as you are the “driver”

  23. Blaise Aboh

    March 11, 2014 at 2:19 pm

    My favorite lines

    Well said

    You see the thing about dreams, dreams are conventional, people who dream and try to achieve it are UNCONVENTIONAL and talking to people who do not see from the dimension you do is always a big problem. In most cases some would try to dissuade you from achieving it, citing instances and reasons why your dream is unfeasible. They go scared and try to scare you too.

    When this happens, only one quote reassures me of who i am, and why they are scared, a quote by T.E Lawrence “But the dreamers of day are dangerous men. That they act upon their dreams with open eyes to make it happen”.

  24. Classiqueremyhair

    March 17, 2014 at 2:24 am

    So so true. I have been there and I am grateful that when I had the dream to start my hair company so many people laughed at me saying how can someone sell hair, meanwhile I was selling the so called Kinky curly hair like what we call biracial or mixed people hair and I never knew there was a great demand. Just last year alone, I made sales of $88000 with just $100 I started with. Getting the $100 and some few bucks was a struggle. But today the one person who gave the money is speechless till today of how much my company has grosses last year alone. Don’t give up!!!! I loveeeee Nigeria.

  25. Que

    April 16, 2014 at 5:26 am

    I am on d right page…. learning a lot of these at d moment….nice to see here, thanks Fola.

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