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“A Child Will Come in Time”, Toke Makinwa Addresses Pregnancy Pressure and Rumors

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Toke Makinwa for the Celebrity Shoot 2nd Edition - Bellanaija - September2014006Over the past few weeks there have been a lot of speculations that Media personality Toke Makinwa might be pregnant after getting married in an intimate service earlier in year.

Toke took to her Twitter page to address the speculations and talking about the pressures to get pregnant soon after getting married. She has faced this pressure from fans, bloggers and even her family.

Her Twitter rant came after she tweeted “Morning world, your girl is feeling very sickkky” and her followers took to her mentions to ask her all sorts of questions.

Read her tweets below:

Adesola is the BellaNaija Head of Content and Digital Ventures. She is a BN stan.. Yes, things are that serious for her when it comes to BellaNaija.com. She's a lover of gist, novels, music, and food. She's constantly trying not to take life for granted. She spends most of her time either keeping up with the world on the Internet or sharing some acquired knowledge about digital media. She is passionate about using her voice to speak against injustice, especially towards women. To communicate with her directly, you can hit her up on: Instagram - @adesola.au Twitter - @Adesola_AU

35 Comments

  1. bruno

    October 22, 2014 at 12:33 pm

    nigerians and their mentality. pls stop putting pressure on people to get married or get pregnant. allow them to be prepared and certain if having kids is what they really want.

    • Jo!

      October 22, 2014 at 1:22 pm

      my fingers cramped typing this out, but yea, I agree with Bruno

    • Femme de l'Avenir

      October 23, 2014 at 1:03 pm

      hehe

    • Personal Concern

      October 22, 2014 at 1:25 pm

      Bruno, what do you do for a living? no offence please

    • ivie

      October 22, 2014 at 5:40 pm

      I recall on Faith’s wedding post when I wrote delayed for 8months people didn’t understand why I wrote that. I didn’t want to explain until I bumped into toke’s post!
      Hmmm, Almost everyone around me made me feel it was a delay. With their embarrassing questions, suggestions and gestures. But now I know better what a delay is…:)
      I guess we all are victims of this societal mentality!! Toke dear I feel your pain… just ignore! I did and it worked for me.
      I am a proud mom of two kids (Girl & Boy) and Counting 😀

  2. Tejflow

    October 22, 2014 at 1:12 pm

    Lmaoo. I definitely know that feeling. Everyone eyeing your belly suspiciously. My mum even tried. She waited for one year before asking “how far?”. My mum in law is too prim and proper to ask but I’m sure she is dying to. Looooool. As per friends, they are tiptoeing and careful not to mention it in case it’s a medical problem you or hubby are facing. But fact it is, after three months of marriage, everyone becomes a monitoring spirit looking out for the slightest symptoms. I have even had to carry out pregnancy tests on several occasion because people will say “you are pale o abi you are pregnant?” or “I think you are pregnant o, your body is glowing”. So I will check to be sure. Or the worst one, “I know a good gynaecologist o”. Looool. Marriage will be two years next April but no kid yet and I have never even been concerned for a day as I’m confident it will happen when it will happen. Monitoring spirits can wait. But it’s fun watching them monitor your uterus and belly like a herbalist.
    -Tejflow, Future Mompreneur

    #AfricanMentality #CantBlameThem #MarriageIsForProcreation #AccordingToTheBible

    • mrs chidukane

      October 22, 2014 at 4:20 pm

      You said 3 months? My FIL told me after 1 week of marriage he was expecting grand children soon

    • AAsh

      October 23, 2014 at 12:26 pm

      My dear………i definately know the feeling……..lots of pressure from inlaws, friends and colleagues………..everyone keeps speculating………it could get one easily depressed………..GOD makes all things perfect in HIS time……’Tis well!

  3. Berry Dakara

    October 22, 2014 at 1:16 pm

    Join the club.

    berrydakara.blogspot.com/2014/09/when-you-ask-me-if-im-pregnant.html

    • Jennifer

      October 22, 2014 at 2:48 pm

      I read that post last week, pay no attention to them.
      I’m 21 and I never believed things like this happen in reality (thought it happened only in Nigerian movies) till my friends started opening up to me. My friends are A LOT older than I am. I just can’t comprehend why people don’t respect other people’s privacy. Apparently, people aren’t only forced to get married on time, the wedding is also planned for them (some couples can’t even make decisions about the planning of their own weddings), even the marriage, they aren’t allowed to enjoy it. My friend’s 1st child is a year old and she’s already getting pressure from her own family for another. I’m sure there are people who want to get pregnant immediately after and for some reasons, they can’t, so those remarks would only make them feel even more devastated.

  4. Fashionista

    October 22, 2014 at 1:33 pm

    Story of my life! My mother in law has even insinuated I’m barren self, all because I am not ready. I’m just looking at her.

  5. Jane

    October 22, 2014 at 1:37 pm

    And when you have had one child, the pressure to have number 2 is even worse. Read nigerwifediary.blogspot.com/2014/06/one-only.html

    Nigerwifediary.blogspot.com

    • ivie

      October 22, 2014 at 5:45 pm

      Very true @Jane..i got 2 kids and they are Asking for nos 3 ahhh humans!!! They be like your second child is old enough to have a baby ..hahahahahahaha as if they will help out with baby stress and others!
      I don’t send anymore jare! As it pleases DH & I..God willing!

  6. Reverse

    October 22, 2014 at 1:40 pm

    But she’s pregnant na… At least she looked so to me. I agree about the pressure though, everyone all up in your business. You dare not agree with your husband to wait a year or two before having kids

  7. Alesha

    October 22, 2014 at 1:40 pm

    Do Nigerian realise that getting married is not solely for having children? Not saying that Toke doesnt want kids but some people dont want kids! Why is that so difficult to understand?

  8. Alesha

    October 22, 2014 at 1:44 pm

    *Nigerians

  9. Ephi

    October 22, 2014 at 2:02 pm

    It’s a very sensitive topic; and the pressure only makes things worse imho.

    As someone said, it’s not everyone who wants children, that is their personal decision and it should be respected. My prayer for those who desire to have kids is that their dreams and desires will be fulfilled soon. Amen. Until then, keep hope alive. and don’t let it weigh you down.

    • AAsh

      October 23, 2014 at 12:36 pm

      Amen Ooooo………., for those seeking the gift of children….may GOD grant our heart desires and bless us with wonderful children in Jesus Name.Amen
      @Ephi……..thanks for the thoughtful prayer.

  10. @edDREAMZ

    October 22, 2014 at 2:19 pm

    a.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said…
    .
    Child or pregnancy b4 marriage or no marriage……
    .
    .
    ***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***

    • Anon

      October 22, 2014 at 3:47 pm

      Ha! Ha!!

    • Baby

      October 22, 2014 at 6:21 pm

      Edwin stupid and childish comment as usual…..ur so irritating

  11. Stephanie-feld

    October 22, 2014 at 2:20 pm

    The worst one is when they are asking someone who is having difficulty getting pregnant because of a medical condition/s. One of my Nigerian friends I went to college with got married and for three years they tried to have kids but they couldn’t because her husband had some medical condition. Every tom, dick and harry (including her mother-in-law) kept on disrespectfully asking when she was going to have a child. She got tired of the silly monitoring and dropped the bomb on her mother-in-law that the reason she couldn’t get pregnant was because of a medical condition her son had. That sealed the woman’s lips .

  12. dior

    October 22, 2014 at 2:56 pm

    i laugh in swahili, people dont just respect other people’s privacy.

    • ivie

      October 22, 2014 at 5:49 pm

      Exactly… especially lagos Neighbours lolzzz

  13. seun

    October 22, 2014 at 3:06 pm

    Critics,leave Toke alone!!! She has gotten married “a long time ago” or “sooner” is none of your business. God gives baby(ies) and if He so wishes,He will bless her with many. Moreover,you should take false news all over. Most bloggers or publishers are so much fond of making up false news. And you know “lie goes around the world before the truth could leave a household”. Let Toke be!!!!

  14. flo

    October 22, 2014 at 3:57 pm

    After baby number one.. everyone will be asking for no. 2. Not like they help you take care of the babies. Taking care of a child is alot of work and both parties must be mentally, physically, spiritually and financially ready. There is not need rushing..

    I tire for Nigerians… Let ppl breathe!

    • ivie

      October 22, 2014 at 5:49 pm

      I triple tire… well said flo

    • Exquisite

      October 22, 2014 at 10:02 pm

      Some Mothers will even pressurize you to have kids, “you’re own is to give birth, don’t worry I’d take care of them”. When the time comes, they’ll be telling you different stories and comparing you with people who gave birth in rural communities as teenagers and can adequately cater for themselves and their kids without assistance. If you will not provide for someone’s baby/babies financially, emotionally, etc, you have no business having an opinion. I know someone that told her Mom that after marriage, she’ll like to wait a year before having kids, her Mom didn’t have it. And family members think that once you’re related, there’s no privacy needed, it’s okay to be very open. And that’s just not the case. Don’t ask personal or sensitive questions. The fact that you’re not told already means you’re not supposed to know. I’m in my very early 20s and I see what people I know are going though, it’s not easy and I honestly wonder how they deal with it. By 26 if you’re not married with a child (to some people), you’ve not arrived.

  15. Girlie O

    October 22, 2014 at 3:59 pm

    I think this is such a sensitive issue. It would be appropriate if people would just learn to mind their business but unfortunately that is not the case. The Nigerian mentality is 1) get pregnant before the wedding or 2) get pregnant straight after the wedding. The maximum time they will give is a year after the wedding(for those that are lucky) before they unleash the monitoring spirit. I think the main reason for this is because back in the days people got all fetish n stuff n if you don’t get pregnant early as in just before the wedding they might tie your womb and that’s the end of it until you find Jesus. But I like to believe that people have got little or no time for fetish stuff anymore and as such more people are getting relaxed about the whole child bearing instantly issue.

  16. iyke

    October 22, 2014 at 4:58 pm

    Single/ baby shaming!!!!Hmmm, the notion that if people aren’t where they thought they would be in life at a particular age, they start to feel that there’s something wrong with them. smh ….Another form of peer/societal pressure.
    You guys think it’s only women who go through all these? It’s worse for Men O !
    Over the years, I have heard them all …’How are you still single? ‘There is someone for everyone’, ‘Stop being so picky…Then you get into a relationship…next thing …’When is the big day’? ‘You are not getting younger! ‘Are you Gay? A pal even said that I should get married while I still look good in the photos (lol)..Others say, ‘Hurry up and have a baby so our kids can go on play days together.. And to others, ‘Don’t leave it too late’.
    Toke, I’d suggest that you pull them all up on it and tell them to get off your ovaries, be respectful of your choices and stop putting pressure on you.

    • Ima

      October 22, 2014 at 8:52 pm

      While you still look good in the photos…hahahaha. Please refer said friend to Denzel Washington. The brother gets finer with every passing year.

  17. haha

    October 22, 2014 at 6:05 pm

    Hmm they monitored me to the point that i couldn’t put my recent pictures on my dp. Wasnt even my inlaws. My own friends o. One year later I took in. It occurred to me that I would have been miserable if it had happened earlier. Stop monitoring people s lives face ya ownnnnn.

  18. Duchess

    October 22, 2014 at 6:32 pm

    I hope some Mothers-in-law get to read this. Leave those women alone to enjoy their PERSONAL RIGHT TO ADMINISTER THEIR WOMBS the way they want. biko.

    • Exquisite

      October 22, 2014 at 9:53 pm

      I know. Not only Mothers-in law, even Mothers, let’s be sincere.

  19. Toma

    October 22, 2014 at 11:43 pm

    God have mercy!

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