Music
Do You Agree? Mary J. Blige Says Her Husband Isnāt Allowed to Have Female Friends ā āThat Doesnāt Work in a Marriageā
American singer, songwriter, record producer and actress Mary J. Blige has been in the music industry for over 20 years and is a nine time Grammy award winner.
The 43-year-old diva has also been married for 11 years to record producer (and her manager) Kendu Isaacs, so she has quite some experience on music and marriage ā which are the two things that she focuses on in her interview with Telegraphās Stella Magazine.
She talks to Stella Magazine about why she no longer has a diva behavior, her new album being clean and sober plus finding love.
Mary J. Blige also opens up to the magazine about the fact that there is a rule for both her and her husband to make their marriage work ā no female friends for him and no male friends for her.
Read excerpts from her interview below!
On overcoming alcohol and drug addiction: āI guess my own voice ā or God ā spoke to me and said, āHavenāt you learnt anything? This is the moment where you see what youāre made of ā get up.ā And I did. I got up. That was definitely the learning moment, the choice between life and death. I felt like it was over, and everybody was just running away. People I thought were friends were just dispersing. I could feel myself slipping away too. And I thought, āI donāt want to slip away because of alcohol and drugs and loneliness.ā I thought, āDonāt let people see you fold right now. You have to survive this because the world is watching.āā
On her new album featuring Sam Smith, Emelie Sande, Disclosure and Naughty Boy: āThe goal was to go over to London and do something really different, something people have never seen me do before. Something really amazing is happening over in London. Genres are falling and people are borrowing from the past instead of throwing it away. Sam Smith is like Frank Sinatra, Otis Redding and Sam Cooke rolled into one. They seem to know who they are; they donāt have an identity problem. They donāt seem to let anyone tell them what they should look like or sound like.ā
On marrying her manager: āIt definitely feels like an achievement. I never thought Iād last this long in a marriage. He always has my back ā heās going to fight to the death for Mary J Blige. The downside is that thereās no separation ā itās on all the time. When you donāt feel like answering to your manager, heās still your husband,ā
On making the marriage work: āIf one of you doesnāt want to talk about something right now, you have to respect that. And you have to respect each otherās space. All females for me, all guys for him. Thereās none of that, āOh, thatās my female friend. Oh, thatās my guy friend.ā No. Not in a marriage, Iāve never seen that work.ā
On him having 3 kids from a previous relationship: āIāve known the younger two since they were babies, so they really are my family. But from the beginning I gave them the option: āCall me Mary, or whatever you like. You donāt have to call me Mom, but just know I love you and Iām here for you.ā I never was sitting around thinking, āOh God, I want a baby.ā No. And then these very special kids came along and it was like they were tailor-made for me to be their stepmom.ā
On being in her forties: āThis is the best time in my life. Iām becoming freer, Iām accepting the things I canāt change and Iām not going to apologise for who I am. In my twenties, I wasnāt comfortable in my own skin. I didnāt like the way I looked, I didnāt like me, and always played myself short to make everybody else happy. Because we donāt love ourselves enough, we hang out with the wrong people, we go out with the wrong guys. We donāt believe that we deserve better. I never slept with anyone to get where I am, but they were after me to do that. I fought hard over that.ā
On getting older: āI need my hips to slim down a little more and my legs to get a little firmer and my butt to pop up a little more. But, you know: gravity. It goes back to what we were saying about knowing when you gotta accept it.ā
You can read up her full feature in Stella Magazine here.
Photo Credit: Getty Images