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Ariyike Weekly: Are You Ready For Marriage?

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Ariyike Akinbobola - August 2014 - BellaNaija.com 01004Media personality Ariyike Akinbobola is out with this week’s vlog and this week she tackles the age-long question about marriage.

She says, ‘You shouldn’t rush into marriage if you’re not ready. You might just think you’re ready because people are putting you under unnecessary pressure to get married or maybe everyone around you is getting hitched but in actual facts, you might not know that you really aren’t ready to settle down.’

Check on it!

63 Comments

  1. DomT

    December 16, 2014 at 7:22 pm

    I dont understand. You started with wondering why everyone is marriage conscious and continued with giving tips on how to get married. Okay. Well nice on.

  2. Grown Woman

    December 16, 2014 at 7:27 pm

    Once you are in Africa , forget about being ready because everybody n their mama wants you to get married by force..Let the #teammarriagewarbegin#lol.To all the singles still searching, God makes all things beautiful in his time 🙂 one must never marry because of age or pressure.

    • Onye

      December 17, 2014 at 6:54 pm

      My dear not just naija o! In the UK, one indian man couldn’t comprehend why I wasn’t married, I told him because I wasn’t ready. He said and I quote, “& so what?”

  3. sum1special

    December 16, 2014 at 7:35 pm

    I am begginning to like her for real.when she first started out I felt she was just one of them,but she really knows what shetalking about.keep it up Arikiye.

    • esther

      December 17, 2014 at 3:50 am

      No offence but she sounds like toke Makinwa, it felt like i was listening to toke

    • coco

      December 25, 2014 at 11:03 pm

      same here.

  4. B

    December 16, 2014 at 7:47 pm

    Hmm. Before my comment let me get this straight. I love this chick I don’t have anything against her. OK now my comment.

    Please can’t we as youth have discussion on some other issues besides relationships and marriage. Eg Agriculture, tech, etc. I know the above is equally important but I think we should dissipate our energy on other issues.

    Thanks

    • Memebaby

      December 16, 2014 at 7:54 pm

      This the relationship section. So I guess the topic suites this section . There are other educative blogs with your stated topics though.

    • Thatgidigirl

      December 16, 2014 at 8:46 pm

      Oh puhleese! Stop trying to be so “deep”. Why are you waiting for someone to start the discussion about agriculture and tech, the same resources that are available to ariyike (internet) are also available to you. Do you own vlog and talk about agric and tech. The previous post is about architecture, yet you left that seemingly serious topic and came to comment here, what attracted you to this? BN puts inspiring posts all the time, touching on various important aspects, stick with those and leave the relationship and marriage posts. simples!

    • Flo

      December 16, 2014 at 11:30 pm

      Thank you very much

    • juimmai

      December 17, 2014 at 12:46 pm

      And who has got time for that, most single chics are more bothered about getting married than any other thing..

  5. lala

    December 16, 2014 at 8:13 pm

    Nope, we will only talk about women, marriages and infertility.Thats why we run around in circles

  6. PurpleiciousBabe

    December 16, 2014 at 8:46 pm

    Ermmm I dont know ooo.. I was lost too. Stopped listening halfway.

    Be a good listener regardless whether you are in a relationship or not. Its a good quality and skill to possess.
    After all that is said and done, plenty people aint happy in their marriage.
    Individuals should grow, develop and learn. xxx

  7. Diddie

    December 16, 2014 at 9:47 pm

    Let married women give single women a break. They must not remind single women that they are loosing out or worthless because single women are not wearing rings#There is more to life

  8. shannaro

    December 16, 2014 at 11:23 pm

    meanwhile no post on 132 school children shot dead in pakistan’s deadliest attack today#yawns#stayclassybn

  9. Ty

    December 17, 2014 at 12:30 am

    mshewwww!!! Even the very nice and reserved once are still searching. Guys wants the hot chicks whom they don’t care to know how they make their money. Wedding and divorce rate are now equal.

  10. Idomagirl

    December 17, 2014 at 12:33 am

    Ayirike, I like this your hair, it’s really nice….

    • Idomagirl

      December 17, 2014 at 12:33 am

      *Ariyike

  11. Sika

    December 17, 2014 at 1:05 am

    This was rubbish, Women always give other women advice when they themselves are clueless..’be this, be that, dont do this, dont do that’. Look, a man that is ready to marry you will marry you..whether you are a club hopper, a nymphomaniac or a home buddy. Its weird how you ladies think changing yourself temporarily just to HOOK a man makes any sense, its not sustainable..because your true nature will always come out..and before you know it fight starts…then divorce.
    Fact is a lot of men are clueless too. They look for certain traits that they think they want but once married they start creeping. so changing yourself for a man who doesnt even know what he wants but wants you to be the way society has Prescribed is pointless. Fact is if you stop going out, become extra nice, etc etc..it all wouldnt matter if you end up with a bastard of a man. All you will become is a wife who stays home while her husband turns up,.and then cooks meals for him and his friends after turning up.
    the best advice anyone can give you is to be yourself..and grow to become a better version of yourself each day, Dont go and change perSOnality for no geezer. you just might regret it, I mean no wonder when babes want to marry they repackage themselves by being church workers, church members etc…fact still remains..all that church worker P is still kinda a cosmetic change…the real person is still in there. SO who are you fooling really?

    And yes i agree with the poster above..this relationship talk itself is weird..if you must speak on relationships why not speak on how women could better themselves and how they could stop picking jackasses as husbands who end up cheating on them over and over again. NO, men cheating isnt something you should accept..society( which is controlled by men ) has told you it is so you have accepted it..until of course you get HIV. A cheating man is a man that lacks discipline. Why would anyone want to marry a man with no discipline anyway?

    okay i guess im getting carried away..but you get my point,.at east i hope so. These days marriages are all about wedding days..and thats it. Y’ll aint ready.

    • Princess

      December 17, 2014 at 2:11 am

      Lawwwwwd you spoke my mind I promise….. Am not the best girl but I do my best to be a better woman for myself and my man. If for some reason he doesn’t find me worthy enough so be it!!! There are a lot of things we as women need to work on and not trying to please any man but ourselves and be the best mother to our future daughters

    • iseemaths

      December 17, 2014 at 3:11 am

      you should go take the posters job… you slapped the face right on the cheek. I was engaged, i just returned the ring 3 month ago. Best decision ever…. I was not ready for marriage rare not because of flenging but i couldn’t tolerate “his lies’ .. the guy can lie for Africa. I never caught him cheating so it aint cheating but the stupid unnecessary lies was giving me headache.And I’m in my final year of Phd studies yet his lies gave me more headache than my phd program.
      I am 28 – Bsc computer engineering, MBA, MIS, Phd in Mathematical Analysis.

      It is just because my mum says i should date Nigerian. I don date one, engage one returned ring now back to the peeps that seem more my type. The fact that i broke up with my college bf (white) for this liar liar pants on fire is ridiculous. Now how i wan take go back to the guy? well let me finish this phd will have boys time really…..

    • Idomagirl

      December 17, 2014 at 6:11 pm

      @iseemaths “I am 28 – Bsc computer engineering, MBA, MIS, Phd in Mathematical Analysis.”

      *applause* Go girl!!! Educated women dey trip me no be lie…

    • hh

      December 17, 2014 at 4:02 am

      God bless you for this reply, u have said it all

    • Lizzy

      December 17, 2014 at 5:40 am

      Is it ok that I pictured you “dropping the mic” and walking off majestically after I read this?
      I also started to snap my fingers really loud because this made a whole lot of sense.

      True definition of doing something #LikeABoss..

    • Ferrari

      December 17, 2014 at 9:47 am

      I totally pictured her dropping the mic as well

    • Debutante

      December 17, 2014 at 7:33 am

      Your comment makes a whole lot of sense. Let me just add that being a church worker is a requirement for getting wedded in many churches so it’s not really like ladies are trying to repackage themselves like you said.

    • Joan85

      December 17, 2014 at 3:13 pm

      I promise I hit the love button more than a hundred times for your comment!!! WELL SAID!!!

  12. J

    December 17, 2014 at 3:58 am

    Ahn! Ahn! Sika!!!!!why are you so bitter? let’s set Marraige aside for a minute, If you apply Ariyike’s advice to your life will it not make you a better person? Calm down and advice yourself abeg. @ Ariyike you looked nice on the red carpet pictures … Keep it up !

    • benny

      December 17, 2014 at 6:33 am

      I find it appalling that despite all the gems sika dropped in her comment, all u could see was bitterness. Ur case is tragic

    • Girl

      December 17, 2014 at 7:50 am

      “Bitter” the newfound best word for clueless people who can’t understand that opinions differ and therefore if you “A” doesn’t agree with what “B” then “B” has to be bitter.
      I’m tired of seeing all these types of people on here tbh

    • Idomagirl

      December 17, 2014 at 6:12 pm

      Someone doesn’t know the meaning of “bitter”…

    • Surely

      December 18, 2014 at 3:45 am

      Welcome, Ariyike!

  13. Dee-USA

    December 17, 2014 at 5:34 am

    So we’re back to this again? Beating a dead horse much, no?

    That said, Sika has said it all.

  14. Ibukun

    December 17, 2014 at 7:24 am

    I must say this vlog contradicts itself. You don’t understand the desperation for marriage yet you’re giving clueless tips on how to get married. The fact that I’m a woman doesn’t mean my primary aim/goal is to be married. Be true to yourself, God and your purpose. Never change your self for any man.

  15. chy

    December 17, 2014 at 7:28 am

    I didn’t bother listening. Why do people who are married feel they have rights to tell others they may not be ready. People who especially married early feel they need to tell others who are trying to that they may not be ready. A young girl at 18 can be married and tho may not get it right at first but with time will, then you tell a grown woman of 30 she may not be ready. When did marriage or anything in life come with a manual. Please these over-sabi ladies need to chill out. The fact they are in a life others may be trying to get into don’t make them authorities on these topics. Puuuuuulllllllllllllllllllllleeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssseeeeeeee.

  16. Maggie

    December 17, 2014 at 8:10 am

    Sika i love you, and i smile loads of experience…..And yes, u made me come on here for the first time to comment.
    All nicely and truthfully said.
    I’m loving this blog, mature minds everytime i read comments

  17. Pink

    December 17, 2014 at 8:43 am

    This Ariyike babe sounded so much like Toke Makinwa, not original

    • yes

      December 17, 2014 at 11:01 am

      God bless you pink. Not original at all….or is she toke’s twin……

  18. Mrs.Somebody

    December 17, 2014 at 9:03 am

    I can’t help but think that there’s an anti-marriage agenda in the comment section of this relationship column.
    No matter how you slice and dice it, Marriage is a very important part of an individual’s development. Whether you CHOOSE it or NOT. Who you marry is a very important life decision, more so than a lot of other decisions.
    I have been married for 5 years, and I thank God for my relationship. We have faced some major battles that might have shattered us, had we gone through it alone.
    Please when picking a partner, ask yourself of the kind of man you want to be the father of your kids, the kind of husband you’d like when your pregnant or sick and can’t do much.

    If you have to change yourself to “Catch” a man, just know you’re doing yourself a great disservice.

    Life is already hard and complicated, don’t make it worse.

  19. Daizzy

    December 17, 2014 at 9:03 am

    Truth is, no matter how good you are as a woman, you’ll never be good enough for a man who isn’t ready or meant for you. I learnt this a long time ago and its helped me.

  20. Imma

    December 17, 2014 at 9:16 am

    Justt a few days ago I broke up with my bf whom everyone believed we will both end up together, and so did I. I did not break up with him because he was not good enough for me or cos he had flaws or because I could not compromise, or cos I was too being too choosy. I ended it because of far far deeper faults no one else could see from a distance but me. I ended it because I was not looking for the “now” of getting married. Its my whole life put together. I am presently not thinking of what everyone would say if they found out about the split..what everyone might not know is what really goes down between the two of us.

    I was not thinking of the fact that almost all my friends and the females I know are all married and having children. I was looking at my whole life and future ahead of me..for this reason, I will not bow down to pressure and definitely not sacrifice my whole life for a few more months or year of waiting..

    • P

      December 17, 2014 at 1:23 pm

      @Ima, tell us the reason y you broke up with him
      In all your epistle, you were talking about far, deeper results. You have said he is nice, he is this, he is that.
      hmm
      Sometimes human beings are deluded. We crave for what is not seen/existing
      Fear of the unknown and many other factors makes one think this person cant get me where i want to be in life but can i tell you something Imma? change is the onlt constant thing in life

      The person that may seem not ambitious/cant get you where you want ot be in life, may be the president next tomorrow. Then i wonder where you will keep your head

    • JustaGirl

      December 17, 2014 at 3:06 pm

      [email protected] don’t you read and understand better before commenting..where did you see anything about ”far deeper results” mentioned? ”far deeper faults” could mean strong personality traits..and I don’t see anything about been ambitious and non ambitious mentioned.

  21. Bobosteke & Lara Bian

    December 17, 2014 at 9:45 am

    Okpolo eye no be open eye…

    • Miss Anonymous

      December 17, 2014 at 12:10 pm

      …..And if you’re new to the game, make you go pay your tithes.

    • ogeAdiro

      December 17, 2014 at 5:28 pm

      In fact, my organ of hearing needs some Double Wahala right now.

  22. vien

    December 17, 2014 at 10:32 am

    this 1 wey dey talk don marry oooo,…lool

  23. miss pynk

    December 17, 2014 at 11:25 am

    Ariyike is confused. She started out by saying everyone’s time for marriage is different then she goes on to talk about how to get a man?
    Shior i married at 32, my younger brothers all have children and it never for one day made me want to settle. Talkless of some of my friends who have 10 yr olds. My husband is actually 14 months younger than me and i had honestly written off men in general due to my not wanting to settle. In life everybody’s pace is different, be comfortable living your own life and have a damn good time doing it. Going clubbing or not knowing how to cook will not affect your chances at marriage. Strippers and porn stars get married all the time. Nigerians like to pressure themselves, first its get married, then next is get pregnant. Lets address how to own our “womanhood” it improves a lot more around us.

    • Ifunanya

      December 18, 2014 at 4:55 am

      @ misspynk, Please how did you manage the heat till 32. I am 27..and to say im not worried would be a big lie. I’m currently doing my Msc programme having worked for about 3 years, but this marriage heat no be here. Its creeping on me subtly. Can i send you an email?

  24. adelegirl

    December 17, 2014 at 11:49 am

    Her mannerisms are really quite Toke-ish. Makes her seem like a Toke Makinwa impressionist, which is unfortunate because that may actually be how she talks and acts really. Unfortunately for her though Toke Makinwa has this act down pat and did it before her so she comes up short IMO.

  25. sarah

    December 17, 2014 at 12:45 pm

    Sorry,but this vlog didn’t really make any sense,full of contradictions,annoying snide remarks, fake silly facial expressions ,just down right vain. maybe if you stop trying too hard,you’ll get there,plus come up with your own unique style,this ‘Toke” thing isn’t quiet working for you.

  26. ghanagirlNikki

    December 17, 2014 at 1:28 pm

    Can Sika be given some type of award for her comment? pure wisdom!

    All the things Ariyinke mentioned should be life tips for any lady – single, married, complicated, whatever. But i think being “ready” goes way beyond these and I expected more on that. In any case, I never think there is a manual to anything in life especially when dealing with people (although it doesn’t hurt to get others’ opinions)

    I would say the best tip is BE yourself! And for younger ladies it is important to FIND yourself ; take your time to find yourself. Balance, Compromise, Self- Esteem, Communication, Broad-Mindedness, etc will all come into play with friends, family, co-workers and ultimately you can be the best YOU for your mate. And if the man won’t be with you when you are yourself then thank your God and be grateful you dodged a bullet

    The REAL tragedy is becoming and living as a woman who is uncomfortable in her own skin!

  27. yea

    December 17, 2014 at 1:48 pm

    Ariyike writes- always deep, educative and insightful.

    Ariyike weekly-lame, vain and shallow.

    I will recommend that you write more than you talk, dear Ariyike.

  28. tha sensei

    December 17, 2014 at 2:05 pm

    everyone seems to have an opinion on this great ”institution” called ”marriage”., the truth is, ”to each his own” what works for you might not work for another…. in the end to be honest, we (men/women) should seek a partner who compliments them and most of all UNDERSTANDS em…. but hey!!! what do i know? #in liam neeson’s voice

  29. meeluv

    December 17, 2014 at 2:47 pm

    The bible says “To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.” Hello everyone, Our creator has already seen the end from the beginning. We are all different, different time for different people. there are some ladies that got married early, not because they rushed, but because they found the best man for them.(on time). its has simple as that. It is MERCY. they found mercy in that area. In each of our lives, we all find God’s mercy more in a particular area than another area. May God’s mercy be with us.
    For the record, am not yet married. am relaxed and happy. lol

  30. Idomagirl

    December 17, 2014 at 6:16 pm

    The day I find a way to monetize this Nigerian obsession with marriage ehn? Choi, see hammer… until then I shall remain a regular commenter…

    • randommer

      December 17, 2014 at 8:42 pm

      lol your mates are wedding planners, bridal make up artistes and aso-ebi sellers, you’re still looking for way to monetize? Even men of God are hosting singles’ fellowships and retreat? I suggest you start a diet plan that guarantees you will get married in one year or your money back

    • idomagirl

      December 18, 2014 at 8:17 pm

      LMAO!!!!!!!!!! Honestly o….no be lie you talk.

  31. Debbie

    December 18, 2014 at 10:46 am

    Nigerians and marriage!!! justpassingby

  32. MKM

    December 18, 2014 at 3:29 pm

    I really do not think you should be in such a rush to get married that you get so carried away and choose the wrong life partner. Marriage is for life. Ending up with the wrong person is way more devastating than remaining single. Being single but with peace of mind is far more beneficial than being married and living in turmoil just because society mandated that you had reached a certain age and you therefore had to get married.

    It is important that you get it right. Can’t say that enough. If you must wait till you find the right person then wait. But do not be in a rush and fall prey to monkeys out there.

  33. Godlovesme4me

    December 18, 2014 at 8:03 pm

    I honestly think Bella Naija and other highly ranked online sites should start a “Commenters Award” at some point to let their readers know they appreciate them – that said…

    The nominees for the most loved comment on “Ariyike Weekly: Are you ready for Marriage?” Vlog post are: B, Memebaby, Thatgidigirl, Diddie, Idomagirl, Sika, Benny, Ibukun, Daizzy, and Imma and the “commenters award” goes to SIKA.
    Sika received over 4000 love this! on her comment for this post. I personally loved her comment too.

    The nominees for the most educative comment on “Ariyike Weekly: Are you ready for Marriage?” Vlog are: Miss Pynk, Sika, ghanagirlNikki, Mrs.Somebody, B, iseemaths, Imma, and meeluv…and the “commenters award” goes to ISEEMATHS.
    Iseemaths is a 28 year old woman with Bachelors degree in computer engineering, MBA, MIS, Phd in Mathematical Analysis. I admire women fulfilling their dreams and pray God gives them the right man that will encourage them to do much more.

    Going back to work now – congratulations to the winners. Bella Naija please mail their awards to them ooo.

    • idomagirl

      December 18, 2014 at 8:18 pm

      I AGREE!!!!! BN make this happen!

  34. bimmyO

    December 18, 2014 at 8:43 pm

    I’m28yrs old nd not yet married. Aand i’m thankful tp God. You knw y?….if I had married yrs back, it might not av worked out..now i’m ready bcos I knw what I want, I needed to grow up nd i’m grown now nd more tolerant nd av come to admire nd love myself.

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