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ZeeZee Ihe-Okuneye: Ten Questions to Ask After He Pops the Question

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So! He popped the question, you said “Yes!” Congratulations! You are engaged.
What’s next? It usually goes something like this: First, your status changes on all your social media platforms as you give us a peek of your well manicured nails and a shiny new “friend” – so giddy to tell the world that you are taken.
Next, planning starts, perhaps in your head that same night or on paper, reeling off where this magical event will take place, what you’ll be wearing, your train, the strict guest list (because God forbid that frenemy of yours crosses the threshold), and most importantly, which vendors will have the opportunity to create your fantasy wedding to the ‘T’, not forgetting the planner that will help you get it all there. You are besides yourself with every exhilarating emotion. Soon you will be Mrs. Perfect and life will be so beautiful.

Now the easy thing to do would be to say, “Hey, neither of us have been married before. I think we should go get help in figuring out what we’re about to get ourselves into!” This YouTube video explains why you both need marriage coaching. But who’s thinking about the “marriage” at this point? It’s all about the “wedding” remember?
Cut to wedding day and Mr. & Mrs. Perfect are introduced to the world. Yay! My beautiful life begins! Only… it’s more like a vortex you just got sucked into, the perfect life you expected seems totally – not perfect – and you find yourself constantly wondering, “What the heck did I get myself into?” and trust me, Mr. Perfect is probably in the other room, wondering the same.

So what went wrong? Why has your fantasy turned into a nightmare? Well, from my experience, one little step was neglected right after you agreed to marry your “soul mate”. You forgot to ask a couple of extremely important questions.

After the question is popped, or intention made clear, it is NOT time to plan a wedding, but time to plan your marriage. It becomes time to ask questions of your own. At this point, the assumption is you already know enough about what your spouse does for a living, his family, his friends, his likes/dislikes, his hopes and aspirations, what stresses him out, what makes him happy, his life’s philosophy and what things you share in common.

So what questions SHOULD you ask him? While this is not an exhaustive list, getting answers to these ten will get you well on your way to feeling comfortable with your decision to marry him.

What does marriage mean to you and why do you think I’m “The One”?
Regardless of how similar you think you both are, you are still coming from different backgrounds. Marriage to you might mean something totally different from his understanding of it. The both of you should take this time to align your definition of marriage, as seeing it from the same perspective is what helps keep you together, especially in times of conflict.

What do you expect of me in this marriage?
You need to work on getting to know him for real this time! No more of those “light” conversations that make you assume, “He loves me just the way I am”. Ask him; Am I expected to leave my career when we start having kids? How many do you want? How often do you expect me to call your parents? Do you see me as an equal partner in this relationship? Why not? Do you expect me to convert to your religion after we get married? He surely has expectations of you in this marriage, knowing what they are upfront, prepares you.

How do you make your money?
Now ladies, while the surprise gifts and trips are all fine and dandy, you are now in the running to become a wife. You need to know how he makes his money, where he stashes it, how he plans to spend it, how he plans to save it. Transparency is of utmost importance in marriage, especially with finances. Have you seen the percentage of marriages that end in divorce due to financial stress? Yeah! Too many!

How do we plan for the future?
What are your financial goals? Do we get separate or joint accounts? Are you familiar with budgeting? Show me your current budget. Again, for the love of all things good, you have to ask what the future looks like for the both of you, as technically, he should be charting the vision for his family.

What is your relationship with God?
What role does your religion play in your life now? Now, this is one of those places that I won’t be caught “judging” anyone. However, I am not the one he’s asked to marry him. You need to know if your fiancé will be the spiritual head in your home as his maker intended or will he keep following you to church under duress. Does he plan to raise your kids according to your faith or his when you get married (assuming you are of different religious persuasions)? Don’t forget, these discussions are what you need to put on the table before you get married, as those ‘surprises’ you get after saying “I Do” are what make marriages miserable.

How important is it to you that we effectively communicate?
Now, this is a very important question. If your husband-to-be isn’t the talking-type, one who likes to listen to you and spend as much time as he can talking with you, you might be in for a bit of a shocker. Most married men talk 50% less than they did when dating and this wreaks havoc for women who usually get chattier after they get married. So as your desire to talk increases, his desire to talk reduces, once married life begins. You need to know if he will always tell you what he is feeling instead of keeping it in. You need to know whom he currently confides in. You need to know if you will become his closest confidant. Again, you will not get close if you do not keep the communication lines open.

How do you handle conflict or confrontations?
It is important to know if he is one that will charge at you or will withdraw from you, drive off to hang with “the boys” and not speak to you for a month. It happens! Just remember, whatever you have experienced in your relationship prior to getting married, will be amplified once you get married. It’s best to understand what you are getting yourself into.

What does forgiveness mean to you?
You need to understand if your spouse-to-be knows how to forgive. If he finds it hard to let go of things you do that might hurt him, it will be 100 times more difficult when you get married. You will surely step on his toes, so don’t try to imagine the ways you can avoid getting him upset. It’s best to understand his take on letting go of hurt.

Do you plan on staying faithful to me?
Don’t worry about sounding like “Captain Obvious”. Ask this question anyway! Some men are convinced that it is acceptable to have a main chick and a side chick. For most women, that’s like throwing egg in their face. Pun intended. And for some, it’s just fine. Now, you should know what his take on being faithful is and make sure you are comfortable with it. Do not expect that since he is officially wearing a ring, those bad guy days are over. Ahem! It gets worse. Side note – if you “found” him while he was being unfaithful, this is a discussion that you need to have BEFORE you say yes!

What do you consider a healthy sexual relationship?
We have heard that the act is constantly on their mind. Frankly I don’t necessarily agree…but that’s a topic for a different day. You need to know what his expectations in this department are, frequency et al. Have an open discussion about this as again, your expectations might be totally different from his and it is best that both parties are prepared for what lies ahead. Pun not intended.

Don’t shoot the messenger! Don’t be mad that things are getting stirred up. They need to be. This is forever we are talking about! Accepting a ring from a young fellow means more than “I have arrived!” It means I am now going into a partnership where my beliefs, background and values come together with someone else’s and we build a fortress TOGETHER that can’t be penetrated but will be used as an instrument of greatness.

These are the first ten questions I always suggest that couples ask. As you can imagine, there are tons more that you should ask if you really want to understand your spouse and live in a very fulfilled relationship…Forever.

Photo Credit: Dreamstime |  Bryan Creely 

ZeeZee is a certified Relationship and Marriage Coach who believes her purpose in life is to equip couples with the right tools for a successful relationship. Through her Marriage-Prep Coaching services, website and YouTube channel, she shares practical tips and principles that help couples understand the inner workings of a healthy marriage. Website: www.zeezeeio.com Email: [email protected]Facebook: ZeeZeeIO | Instagram: @ZeeZeeIO | YouTube: ZeeZeeIO | Twitter: @ZeeZeeIO

55 Comments

  1. Shopperoflife

    June 5, 2015 at 1:51 pm

    Pls. Include being VERY CLEAR upfront about what a deal breaker is for YOU. Ask him same too. I was very clear what my deal breaker is. You cannot touch me violently -I am averse to violence. I do not believe in “Just one slap”. NEVER EVER!

    • Niola

      June 5, 2015 at 2:09 pm

      Can i add to your deal breaker : Do not touch me violently, do not touch another intimately…

    • Iris

      June 5, 2015 at 2:41 pm

      Yes Lawd!

    • Tosin

      June 5, 2015 at 3:16 pm

      i think def touch God’s creatures intimately as the spirit moves you. but don’t be a liar or i won’t take you seriously lol. oh yeah, i don’t like noise, stress, raising your voice ever, fits or tantrums, the slap scenario will never be possible.

  2. l

    June 5, 2015 at 1:54 pm

    good one but im wondering… is it after or before he pops the question “marry me” that you should ask… hmmm!

    • Tru

      June 5, 2015 at 2:03 pm

      My thoughts precisely! These are questions to ask when it’s apparent the relationship is serious and heading somewhere

    • Tosin

      June 5, 2015 at 3:19 pm

      From what I see, many young people sha, they don’t have the sense to question like this. And I’m talking even late twenties. That is why this article is important. AND that’s why family fit dey help investigate and comment on one’s intended partner.

    • Ann

      June 5, 2015 at 3:59 pm

      Before bikonu, i actually thought one should have an idea of what the answers are or even know before he pops the question!

    • Lolade O

      June 5, 2015 at 4:11 pm

      Exactly, most of these questions should be asked prior to popping the question

    • feynasia

      June 5, 2015 at 4:45 pm

      Exactly! How can you be asking your intended about his relationship with God when you’ve got his ring? Will you separate if he says “zilch”? Marriage is something the two of you would have been talking about before he actually pops the question. Please don’t bash me but I feel the article if fundamentally flawed.

    • feynasia

      June 5, 2015 at 4:46 pm

      *is

    • Itha

      June 5, 2015 at 7:00 pm

      My thoughts EXACTLY!!! This list seems like what you should ask before even saying yes. I don’t know about this our 21st century, but what exactly do people do during thee ‘dating phase’? is it just touring Europe and taking trips to Dubai and the latest restaurant (and getting freaky in the sheets..which I DO NOT SUBSCRIBE TO AT ALL) or are you asking vital questions and working towards knowing your partner in depth and building a foundation for your future home (i’m assuming people are not dating for fun but really have a goal towards marriage).
      If you wait till after saying yes to ask this questions you may be setting yourself up for heartbreak and plenty broken engagements..in my opinion. How can I say yes to you before I know where you stand with God? I don’t but that’s definitely not working for me.

      I think one of the problems with our 21st century way of life is lack of priorities. We are doing , asking , questioning the right things but at the wrong times, strangers are getting married and everything is more for show than out of genuine intentions…God help us!

    • i agree

      June 6, 2015 at 11:15 pm

      i agree with you 1001%! All these questions should have been answered before you even say YES..this article seems like a ‘copy and paste’ with small jara here and here…hmm

    • Biola

      June 5, 2015 at 8:44 pm

      My thoughts exactly! Why are you asking those questions after he POPS the question. I think it should be asked before he pops the question if you ask me. so what if he tells you to leave your religion for his after you say yes and you cant, what happens?

  3. bruno FIERCE

    June 5, 2015 at 2:00 pm

    are u not suppose to know all these things when u start dating someone. why would u wait untill he proposes to find out all these important things about the guy.

    are u a serious woman at all? after he proposes thats when u want to find out how he makes his money.

    who wrote this article? do u know the meaning of courtship/dating.
    pls dating someone is not about going to tantalizers or chocolat royale to eat everyday. the point of dating is to get to know someone better,know the person’s behaviour hobbies likes and interests favourite colour tv shows type of music, religious or non religious etc.

    • Ewurafua

      June 5, 2015 at 2:36 pm

      Thank you Bruno, same thing I was thinking. These are questions that should be asked during the dating stage, NOT after he has proposed. I would keep most of the questions as they are, but the first 2 questions should be revised to be:

      What does a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship mean to you, and why do you want me to be your significant other?
      What do you expect of me in this relationship?

    • me

      June 5, 2015 at 4:08 pm

      Let’s not get ahead of ourselves… these are questions that spell desperation. Some can be discussed in passing but not as a serious question.

    • anoni

      June 5, 2015 at 6:32 pm

      Chocolat royale kwa? #shudders

  4. Ewurafua

    June 5, 2015 at 2:00 pm

    My dear writer, you are in for the shock of your life if you ask any of these questions AFTER you get engaged!!
    These are questions asked during the dating stage, BEFORE one enters into a relationship and becomes boyfriend/girlfriend.

    • laide

      June 5, 2015 at 2:43 pm

      Before u become bf / gf?? Really? U ask everyone who wants to date u all these questions? I am honestly just asking

    • Ewurafua

      June 5, 2015 at 3:15 pm

      If you are dating for ‘fun’, the questions need not apply. However, since this discussion is about engagement, and ultimately marriage – yes, I would ask these questions and more. I am at a point in my life were any relationship I have henceforth, can ultimately lead to marriage. In my quest for a life partner, it’s crucial for me to know these things (and more) before I enter into a committed relationship. Whilst it may be crass to ask “how do you make your money”, I would instead ask about his job and his 5/10/20 year career goals.

  5. La'Shonda Balogun

    June 5, 2015 at 2:04 pm

    Errmm should this title read “BEFORE he pops the question”??? How can you get to the stage of engagement and you don’t know how he makes his money or what his relationship with God is?

    And if you feel like you have to ask ‘Do you plan on staying faithful?’ then you know the answer! How many men will just say “no, I am committed to cheating on you consistently with that ashawo I left in Awka”

  6. MissF

    June 5, 2015 at 2:16 pm

    In my opinion, I feel majority if not all of the questions should be asked before he pops the question and not after. It doesnt make sense saying “YES” and announcing to the whole world, then later you find out that he makes his money through drug trafficking or he isnt into God like you want it and then you have to return the ring. I believe its wisdom to have solid answers to these questions before you accept a man’s proposal.

  7. lorna

    June 5, 2015 at 2:19 pm

    Abeg, all this things are before the question oo!

    My hubby n i discussed all of these and a lot more while dating and I’m gratfl for that cos just 2 months in marriage now and i realize some important things we did not talk about while dating but he is such a loving and understanding dude so, when he doesn’t agree on something, i make him understand and he adjusts and same goes with me.
    So, my dear, you can’t exhaust the list of questions or things to learn about each other, they continue in marriage. Just make sure you marry your friend and lover then by God’s grace, everything falls in place.

  8. JENNIE

    June 5, 2015 at 2:24 pm

    Ladies please oh… these should be questions you should ask during the relationship before he pops the question as in long before he pops the question. So what happens if after you have accepted the ring you become unsure because of his answers to these questions? you give the ring back?

  9. Typical Naija babe

    June 5, 2015 at 2:26 pm

    All these years of dating, what have you been doing then?

    Oh sorry, i forgot you are a naija girl
    All the years and months of dating, you were only interested in
    a. Shawarma
    b. Ice cream
    c. movies.
    d. shoprite
    e. phones
    f. clothes
    g. bags
    h. suya/peppersoup/catfish joint

    You never cared or bothered about any other aspect of his life including his family, church/relationship with God, Job/how he makes his money….

    Typical naija girl

    shift from my screen b4 i thunder fire you

    • bruno FIERCE

      June 5, 2015 at 3:12 pm

      LOL. naija girls like food too much. they can eat for africa. so unlady like. its a huge turn off.

      take me to tantalizers (tantalizers and mr biggs are for bush babes and small small girls)
      take me to kfc
      take me for ice cream
      take me to eat isi ewu
      I have never taste that food before, bye it so I can try it.
      take me to johnny rocket
      burger and chips, moi moi fried rice salad chicken etc
      point and kill
      suya

      smh. pls naija ladies stop embarrassing yourselves. u are worth more than food.

      the funniest part is, this so call expensive orishirishi u are forcing a guy to buy for you, many of u ladies can cook this foods at home. some of u women ,u cook better fried rice than many of these expensive restaurants.

      shawarma and ice cream thats their number one weakness. tufia

      pls we guys like girls who don’t eat too much. pls be classy.

    • Olanma

      June 5, 2015 at 4:12 pm

      Lol! Your comment got me rolling. Especially Unilag girls (no offense), take them to the beach, buy them shawarma and recharge cards, and buy them cheap nonsense that they can post on Instagram and they’re good to go, smh!
      Ladies, these questions should be asked while you two are dating, not after the proposal. Needless to say, most people aren’t in serious relationship these days. Most guys are only “dating” for steady sex, and it’s sad most girls are dumb to realize.

  10. Iris

    June 5, 2015 at 2:44 pm

    If you didn’t ask these questions BEFORE he popped the questions, both of you have entered one chance, and if this is reality it explains why so many people seem to be unhappy in their marriage these days.

  11. me

    June 5, 2015 at 2:47 pm

    You all are funny. Abi it’s because everyone now sleeps with one Person as they like… in the name of dating that’s why you are questioning the post. Anyways I totally agree with this post and agree a deal breaker should be established. What’s your business with a man’s finances if he is not engaged to you? Or his ideas on marriage, a man who has not engaged you does not even know what he expects from you in marriage… he only knows what he expects from his girlfriend….

    Relationship with God….you think cos he goes to church every Sunday or claims to, means he can head a family. Most men don’t even know they are spiritual leaders. They feel the woman should spiritually lead the home….. please… this post is so on point.

    Enjoy the errors…. can read this twice

  12. tunmi

    June 5, 2015 at 2:47 pm

    Okay yes ask these while dating. And also ask them after the engagement

  13. lee

    June 5, 2015 at 2:58 pm

    so na after him pop d question I come ask am all these ones abi? mtchew! abeg.

  14. Tosin

    June 5, 2015 at 3:11 pm

    This is me, all about the koko.
    That’s how I went to a job interview all laying out the pros and cons of me in the job. Didn’t get the call back tho’ lol.
    So yeah, I meet somebody, we like each other, but I want to know the most deal-breaker-ish things about him and for him to know the most crappy things about me, up front, day one. Better that way, you don’t want to postpone the bad news.

  15. BlueEyed

    June 5, 2015 at 3:51 pm

    If u have to wait till he proposes to ask these questions, then my dear you are not ready for any type of commitment.

  16. MissMe

    June 5, 2015 at 4:11 pm

    This article is spot on. Just as some of you have rightly opinionated, some of these questions should have been asked before accepting the ring, some questions will mostly be asked after accepting the ring. I got engaged two months ago and we have spent the past couple of weeks visiting my fiance’s family members, there are just certain experiences that one may not have until after the engagement, your level of closeness to your new family will definitely increase and certain realities begin to dawn and vice versa. Asking your boyfriend questions about how to relate with his family may sound like an awesome question and you may get answers and think you’re prepared for whatever may come but in all sincerity it is not a question he can answer without bias because he is not his family, (after all he grew up with family and will likely have a higher level of tolerance based on his association with them all his life), you get to meet people with totally different backgrounds, views and upbringing and a determinant of how well you get along with his family is very well dependent on how you were raised,your level of tolerance, interpersonal skills and personal values. Asking your boyfriend about the nature of your sex life after marriage when you’ve only dated for a couple of weeks or months to me is not a fantastic idea. I read articles on questions to ask my boyfriend and questions to ask my fiance and i can tell you i was glad i read those because it gave me a better understanding of what my expectations should be. I asked questions ranging from house chores to infertility ( I know right, God forbid but what happens in the event that either party is the reason, how long do you wait on the Lord or how long before you start trying various treatments or even entertain the idea of adoption). Overall nothing adequately prepares anyone for the challenges of marriage (or so I’ve been told), I guess it all boils down to an open line of communication, tolerance, understanding and the inclusion of God in all we do.

    • ZeeZee

      June 5, 2015 at 5:44 pm

      Thanks MissMe. You are absolutely correct. I wish you all the best in your married life! You are well ahead of the game.

  17. geezee

    June 5, 2015 at 4:32 pm

    This is silly! These are questions to ask BEFORE he pops the question please!

  18. ZeeZee

    June 5, 2015 at 5:40 pm

    Thanks to everyone who has commented. I appreciate you reading the article and taking the time to have a discussion with me. For everyone who thinks that this article should have been named something different or not written at all, i ask that you please refer to the part that says;

    “After the question is popped, or intention made clear, it is NOT time to plan a wedding, but time to plan your marriage. It becomes time to ask questions of your own. At this point, the assumption is you already know enough about what your spouse does for a living, his family, his friends, his likes/dislikes, his hopes and aspirations, what stresses him out, what makes him happy, his life’s philosophy and what things you share in common.”

    The assumption here is that if you have been dating a man long enough to accept his proposal, you have at least learned a lot about what he stands for as you should have had deep discussions about what life means to him, his values etc. Now, once his INTENTION (ring or not) is made clear, you THEN need to remove the front that we all must agree we put up while dating…let’s be honest…and get down and dirty and beginning telling each other the truth about what you want your lives to be in marriage.
    Asking these questions opens up REAL dialogue (which someone rightly said would be a bit “awkward” if you asked them in this depth while in the girlfriend status) and shows him that you will not be settling for a mediocre union. If you are not in agreement with any of his responses, then what you do is work towards working on that issue to get it to some state of resolution (No, you don’t have to return his ring, just means you have a few things to sort out before your future wedding). I am all for folks getting married…but why risk being miserable in your marriage. Take what you want from this but there has to be a reason that a major percentage of married people you come across are in total amazement how things turned out differently than they thought.
    Thanks again all!
    P.S. For everyone who is wondering who the “heck” this writer is…use the links in the article. 🙂

  19. Que

    June 5, 2015 at 5:58 pm

    I don’t know if I’m more worried that a person will wait for a ring to raise these questions, or the fact that this suggestion (of asking after ring) has been made by a certified marriage coach/counselor…… dude really???!!!

    …and this line…
    “…After the question is popped, or intention made clear, it is NOT time to plan a wedding, but time to plan your marriage…”
    Naaahhh babe, you spend your relationship prepping for marriage AFTER ye both have declared intentions (along the line) of ending up with each other….. that way, when question decides to pop…honaaayyyy its wedding planning time! stop confusing people! Na so Buhari go change government and you’ll still be engaged, on top asking question, as if na now day break!

  20. @edDREAMZ

    June 5, 2015 at 6:09 pm

    a.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said..
    .
    So na wetin lara ask oshiomole b4 them marry bah….?? Money will amswer all this questions for yu…..
    .
    .
    ***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***

  21. soulchild

    June 5, 2015 at 7:16 pm

    It seems most people who read this article and are posting negative comments didn’t actually read the article.

    Did you all read this part?
    “At this point, the assumption is you already know enough about what your spouse does for a living, his family, his friends, his likes/dislikes, his hopes and aspirations, what stresses him out, what makes him happy, his life’s philosophy and what things you share in common.”

    She obviously thinks you should already know major things about the person you are dating but some people don’t and get engaged anyway! Even if you’ve asked some of these questions already how many of you can honestly say you asked all these deep questions before the man pop question? If you do you go chase am na! Most men will be uncomfortable with some of these questions if they have not yet committed to you. Which is why she is saying before you marry final sha make sure you ask those questions.

    I checked out her website. She has a bunch of other articles there about relationships that make sense. Maybe you should too, before you pass judgement.

  22. bree

    June 5, 2015 at 7:35 pm

    Pls give the writer a breather,I guess what he or she means is that although u already know the answer to most of these questions,u only ask them on a more serious ground after the engagement.

  23. soulchild

    June 5, 2015 at 8:30 pm

    Abi o, Bree…

  24. spoonfullofsugar

    June 5, 2015 at 9:04 pm

    ROTFL. Did that chic ask Oshiomole these questions?? She looks happy ROTFL

  25. Sere

    June 5, 2015 at 9:10 pm

    More like ten things to ask before he pops the question. Do people really say yes to someone they genuinely were not expecting a proposal from? I think not.
    These very important questions should most definitely come before the ring pics, status change and gleeful announcement.

  26. jane ikp

    June 5, 2015 at 10:02 pm

    Very educative.pls write more on topics like this.

  27. Win

    June 5, 2015 at 11:09 pm

    Well written article! Pls post more!

  28. nestradamus

    June 6, 2015 at 1:59 am

    i’m sorry to say but this article is very misleading and is probably prone to cause more harm than good. interviewing/questioning someone after they’ve proposed to you is like putting them on a high pedestal of expectations. what are you bring in return??? what answers can you lend to his crucial questions??? the most striking thing about this write-up, which i see other readers share is that this is putting the cart before the horse: how are you going to be asking someone how are they sure they are “the one” after they’ve proposed to you?? even sounds childish. what’s he supposed to say and do you really want to start planting seeds of doubt so that he can collect his ring back? there’s no such thing as being “the one” because it’s not factory-fitted, it’s something you work on everyday for the rest of your lives together. and it’s after you’ve said “yes” that you now want to know if he loves GOD?
    bn please this article is drawing someone back instead of forward. it will surely not yield positive results. readers beware!!

    • molarah

      June 6, 2015 at 10:35 pm

      People, it’s not that hard. All this antagonism is not necessary. All the writer is saying is, just be sure that you really really really know your partner BEFORE you get married. Maybe a better title for the post would have been “10 questions to ask before you say “I do” because that covers the essence of the post. People’s understanding and practice of the dating, courtship, betrothal and engagement process is so varied that it is not easy to put a peg mark on what stage the serious question-asking session should commence for all couples.

  29. Dammy

    June 6, 2015 at 7:37 am

    I won’t even be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t have a relationship with God, cos again it all boils down to why you date, so if at that point you discover how do you work on it? I expect that some of these things should be known before, some actually makes sense like the financial stuff, planning, what he expects of u in marriage and all that.
    The what he does however should be know before

  30. Mishnari

    June 6, 2015 at 1:34 pm

    I don’t think this writer is saying wait till you marry before you know the answers to these questions. I think most of the people reading this post haven’t had the experience of going through marriage counselling. When I was getting married and we did a group counselling in my church I was amazed what some people were just finding out about their husbands to be. Maybe the author is saying, if you don’t know at the time somebody you want to marry proposes to you, better know before you get married. A lot of these questions are the same we were asked in pre-marital counselling, so even though we already knew each other well and knew the answers to most of these questions our counsellors asked us anyway. And guess what? Some other people in the group didn’t know!

  31. PurpleiciousBabe

    June 7, 2015 at 7:34 pm

    Well written article.
    Many thanks for sharing this.xoxox

  32. OLORUNSOGO KEHINDE

    June 8, 2015 at 4:59 pm

    i do not think this questions should be asked after you are engaged, what if you do no get clear answers or appropriate answers at all, these are things young women and men should communicate about in the relationship. Look there is nothing more special like having a lifetime of bliss and even in the course of ups and downs between you two, you have something strong to hold on to when love does not apply at that point. In the course of your relationship you should know from discussions where both of you are headed. please do not ask after engagement, do it in the course of your relationship and getting to know each other journey. that’s the main essence of the relationship in the long run not just gifts and outings.

    Thank you

  33. Grown Woman

    June 9, 2015 at 7:27 am

    My question is, when is the correct time to ask these 10 questions so as not to come across desperate? 3 months, 6 months or 1 year?Otherwise i would prefer i ask these questions before he proposes to avoid any dissapointments.It is well.

  34. anony

    June 10, 2015 at 3:09 pm

    But these questions should be asked even before you’re deep in the relationship

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