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‘It Benefits Us Both for Now to Be Where We Are’ – OC Ukeje on his Long Distance Marriage

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OC Ukeje & Ibukun Togonu Wedding | BellaNaija | November 2014 020.IMG_7262

One of the biggest things a newly wedded couple looks forward to is the fact that they can start to build a home with their partner – plus seeing your loved one as much as possible.

But it doesn’t work out that way for everyone.

Nollywood actor OC Ukeje and his wife Ibukun got married last year (click here if you missed it) and a number of his fans wondered how they were going to make things work seeing as OC Ukeje is based in Nigeria and Ibukun isn’t.

He shared his thoughts on the long distance marriage with HipTV.

He stated ‘

(It’s) purely circumstantial and the reason I say this is because I think that for every upwardly mobile person or people at some point in your life you are going to have to deal with distance with your partner. Whether at the upstart of a relationship or in the middle or somewhere much later you will experience it. So I know it is a shock for people to say that you get married and that you start doing long distance. First of all because of our work choices, and our current positions as far as work is concerned. So it benefits us both for now to be where we are, and then over the next couple of months, and months can vary. It will begin to add up and then how to unify household will come in play

Watch his interview below.

Adesola is the BellaNaija Head of Content and Digital Ventures. She is a BN stan.. Yes, things are that serious for her when it comes to BellaNaija.com. She's a lover of gist, novels, music, and food. She's constantly trying not to take life for granted. She spends most of her time either keeping up with the world on the Internet or sharing some acquired knowledge about digital media. She is passionate about using her voice to speak against injustice, especially towards women. To communicate with her directly, you can hit her up on: Instagram - @adesola.au Twitter - @Adesola_AU

59 Comments

  1. Blueberry

    September 18, 2015 at 10:00 am

    Oh well, to each his own.

    • FasholasLover

      September 18, 2015 at 10:24 am

      Indeed to each his own. I remember earlier this year when Lala said OC was her ride or die. There was so much ruckus here on BN. Only a couple in a relation knows what is going on. Unfortunately, all of us gleefully do not mind our business. It cannot be easy being a celebrity in this age of social media. I just wish this young couple GoodLuck as it can’t be easy at all.

    • ElessarisEllendil

      September 18, 2015 at 10:33 am

      Please who’s Lala??? Only Carmelo Anthony’s wife comes to mind.

    • Damilola

      September 18, 2015 at 12:01 pm

      Honestly, long distance after marriage has a lot of things wrong with it especially living in different countries. Unless, it’s something inevitable like finishing a degree program. You can always find a job more convenient for both of you. Many married couples do it and are cool with it. But after sometime, it needs to be sorted out. My cousin is in the U.S, her so called “husband is in Nigeria. She doesn’t seem bothered. They use whatsup, Skype, calling every second, etc but when you see them together once a year, they are like strangers. There’s more love dealing with each other from afar. It’s weird.
      Honestly, it’s either they are not genuinely attracted to each other or are covering up for something.

  2. Similicious

    September 18, 2015 at 10:06 am

    Isn’t it important for couples to really bond in the first few years?

  3. Sugar

    September 18, 2015 at 10:19 am

    There should be a definite plan, and also an END date to everything that involves distance. When there is no end date then it is very disastrous for any couple either married or still in a relationship. Its easy for hearts to grow fonder and they grow apart.

    • Tari

      September 18, 2015 at 3:31 pm

      In your wisdom you deduced that they have no end date in view?
      I can’t stand the sudden intelligence we see on blog comments. Why is all this intelligence missing in our private lives?

  4. ElessarisEllendil

    September 18, 2015 at 10:34 am

    Damn interviewers never ask the good questions, I personally wanted to hear them ask him to rate Skype sex.

  5. amh

    September 18, 2015 at 10:35 am

    it worked for uche jombo and her handsome hubby. only the couple knows their plan.

    • Ada Nnewi

      September 18, 2015 at 10:50 am

      It’s working for my best friend and her hubby…

    • Maromec

      September 18, 2015 at 2:08 pm

      So you think you know all about your bestie?
      If you don’t live with them…

  6. beauty

    September 18, 2015 at 10:41 am

    I feel it’s best for newly weds to be much closer than apart! but they know best though. I’m just saying that it is the right time for them to bond more as a couple and understand each other much better…

  7. Abike

    September 18, 2015 at 10:44 am

    Hmmmn married and living single…….

    My neighbor here in the UK is also married and she’s here in the UK raising the kids alone while her husband is in Nigeria. Sometimes i just wonder what kind of lifestyle that is. Later she will cry fowl that her hubby has girlfriend. Why wont he have? Is it easy to live lonely, getting home from work and nobody to cook for him.
    I just don’t know how some women have that liver to stay away from their husband, nowadays that there are plenty single girls in Lagos looking for who to devour.

    • TRUE

      September 18, 2015 at 10:51 am

      This happened even to us. My own blood brother impregnated a Unilag girl while his wife relocated to the US claiming Nigeria is too stressful for her. My brother couldnt cope and wasn’t interested in relocating. He found one young UNILAG babe who cooked, and nutured him lol, started a relationship and before we knew what happened babe got pregnant. Now the runaway wife is running around and crying……. she caused the headache for herself because she left her husband claiming its stressful in Nigeria.

    • Meah

      September 18, 2015 at 2:06 pm

      @True: your brother is irresponsible, simple.

    • FIFIAMA

      September 18, 2015 at 2:08 pm

      your brother is a he goat. who have done it still if she was still in lagos

    • jide

      September 18, 2015 at 4:27 pm

      Eh ya. It’s your sister-in-law’s fault that your broother the philandering jerk couldn’t stay loya to her? Why do I have an inkling this unilag babe had always been in the background and your irresponsible brother, in a matter of tiime, woould have gotten her or another side chic preggers either way. A jerk is a jerk regardless of disatance. Shame on you and your brother. I trust in due course unilag bbaabe will fix your fcccccuk up, collectivelly.

    • Yawn

      September 18, 2015 at 10:56 am

      Madam Abike, which one is your concern there? Your UK neighbour is the one wearing the shoes and knows where it pinches.
      By the way it is “foul” not fowl

    • Abike

      September 18, 2015 at 11:18 am

      Hello Neighbour, I can see you visit Bella. Go back to Nigeria and stay with your husband. A word is enough for the wise

    • mz Titilitious

      September 18, 2015 at 11:33 am

      LOL

    • Fifi

      September 18, 2015 at 2:38 pm

      I cant stop laughing madam neighbour one woman is romancing ur husssy ooo, beta come n hold him

    • jide

      September 18, 2015 at 4:30 pm

      All these face me I face you one bedroom dwellers in south london won’t let us hear word on BN again o.

    • des

      September 18, 2015 at 11:21 am

      thank you ojare. i cant stay away from my husband for soo long. its not healthy

    • Sugar

      September 18, 2015 at 12:41 pm

      So much Drama on Bellanaija. When Neighbours attacks themselves online. LMAO.
      This is just hilarious. Ok, this is my judgement:
      Neighbour Yawn, you too should go and meet your husband o, before he replaces you. Its dangerous living apart and the kids dont get to know their father and you too ehhnnn how do you cope without sex?

    • FasholasLover

      September 18, 2015 at 2:29 pm

      Hehehee @des, don’t tell me you believe this is her neighbour for real?

    • blessed

      September 19, 2015 at 1:00 am

      I am surprised @ people like you who assume that it is only distance that makes a man to cheat. A man will cheat if he wants to, even if you don’t spend a day apart.

  8. Moyo

    September 18, 2015 at 10:44 am

    Just stay true to yourself and everything will in place.

  9. Yes?

    September 18, 2015 at 11:24 am

    I don’t support it and never will. What stops them for living together here in Nigeria? If she is schooling, maybe understandable, but if its work she can always relocate and get something here..Well I am only wondering aloud according to my own understanding..the couple knows best

  10. Tosin

    September 18, 2015 at 11:34 am

    they look lovely.
    long distance isn’t my thing at all tho, if you’re not right there right then i’m going to get help from the people who are. (help could be talking, advice, laughing, anything. you’re not there, and i’m not a phone person – anymore.) just being honest. and anything over a mile (1.6km) is long distance. but lots of people love long distance apparently.

  11. Yawn

    September 18, 2015 at 11:49 am

    Madam Abike, if the neighbour doesn’t go back and stay with her husband nko? You will drag her there right? Whatever happened to minding your own business for starters. Rolling my eye – some Nigerians and being overly self-righteous. Your neighbour has made her choice, leave her to bear whatever the consequence is.

    • Abike

      September 18, 2015 at 12:07 pm

      Hello Neighbour, You don’t need to be defend yourself here on Bellanaija. All you need right now is take those kids and GO BACK to Nigeria Your kids need a father figure.
      Your Husband is Lonely and needs you too.

    • Fifi

      September 18, 2015 at 2:42 pm

      Abike u r too funny please leave madam neighbour to be jonzing, girls in nigeria r vicious, my cousins neighbour decided to remain back in america during the whole ebola crisis with her 3 daughters, one day she would come back meet iyawo number 2 in her town house

    • Yawn

      September 18, 2015 at 4:21 pm

      So you really really think I am the supposed neighbour?! Bhuahahaha, Other people have addressed you below in comments, abi you go talk say Olu too na “the neighbour”
      Loooools

    • FIFIAMA

      September 18, 2015 at 2:06 pm

      well said

  12. Ola

    September 18, 2015 at 12:38 pm

    Abike since u know ur neighbor n u r really very concern … Go knock at her door n tell her all this … She lives next door nah , y drag her here or assume she is d one responding to u … Lol u r a trouble maker
    To d real matter here … All relationships has it dynamics

    • jide

      September 18, 2015 at 4:32 pm

      Abi o? All these face me I face you one bedroom dwellers in south london won’t let us hear word on BN again o.

    • maromec

      September 20, 2015 at 12:18 pm

      Who is this one again
      God why?

  13. FIFIAMA

    September 18, 2015 at 1:15 pm

    hmmm it not easy one am in a long distance marriage also. What wrong with it. It all depends on both parties and what there plans are in the future. Should one ends it careers or dream job becos they are married and both parties involve know the risk involve. It there life and marriage let us be. Abeg.
    Marriage it all about communication physically and mental or otherwise sex is not everything but it is important also. You can have all.

  14. nnenne

    September 18, 2015 at 1:15 pm

    I will leave a comment when am done looking at ways to fix my life and my relationship.
    Are OC and his wife adults and capable?
    Absolutely. Let them nurse their wound while I take care of my headache.
    Which one of us has a perfect life?

    • Tari

      September 18, 2015 at 3:39 pm

      Chop kiss jare.

  15. Olu

    September 18, 2015 at 1:38 pm

    whatever will I do without females and gbeborun? …..thank God for social media!

    LOL ……this abike do gbeborun die…ur neck go don long ooooo

  16. smh

    September 18, 2015 at 2:02 pm

    Oc seems like a decent guy to me(1% of the guys that are faithful to their spouse). i’m sure they have some sort of arrangement from what i understand. he is probably building her the mansion she deserves! God bless them!!!

    and may the evil eyes of women that can’t stop admiring married men and the ones in a serious relationship to go blind IJN!Amen

    • Felinda

      September 18, 2015 at 2:42 pm

      QUOTING SMH
      ********Oc seems like a decent guy to me………………………………..**********

      Oh Really, And how does DECENT “SEEM” or “”LOOK” to you??????
      smh please Define to all of us your definition of “A Decent Guy” and how SEEM or how they LOOK according You.

      #Likeseriously *rollseyes*

  17. Tee

    September 18, 2015 at 2:03 pm

    I agree with some of you guys on issues about bonding in early marriage, esp getting to know your spouse better, since you didn’t co-habit before marriage. When you live with your man after marriage, it may take another 1-2yrs to know everything about him. This is simply becos relationship is different from marriage. So many things appear in their natural, most transparent form, if you know what I mean, in terms of financial mgmt, dealing with family issues on both sides, hygiene, how to relate with friends, quality time spent together, sharing your space, food, movies, trust me the list goes on. The other aspect I don’t agree with is the issue of infidelity. Trust me your hubby who sleeps and wakes up with you can sleep with your neighbour if you’re married to a dog. This has nothing to do with distance. In as much as the risk is much in terms of loneliness and sex urge is concerned in long distance, self-control is not measured by distance trust me. As long as the couple involved work out travel time/hols, it could be worked out during this period till they finally come together after they’ve realised their goal. Nobody plan for things like this in marriage, but somewhere along the way, it happens in marriage. You may think ‘God forbid’ for now but trust me,the only thing that’s constant is change. Some men travel from Lagos to Abuja on 2day course and still cheat on their wives with prostitute from brothels, so it balls down to your man really not distance.

    • Idomagirl

      September 18, 2015 at 11:08 pm

      Well said.

  18. yellow sisi

    September 18, 2015 at 2:35 pm

    Married but single.

  19. Anonino

    September 18, 2015 at 5:29 pm

    Why are they posting this kind information?. All them Lagos Bigz girls are now aware that his wife is out of town. This needs to.be on the low-key. 5 years later if they survive, he can then be telling the story of when we first got married, we did long distance.

    • Idomagirl

      September 18, 2015 at 11:09 pm

      It was never a secret. Everyone knows she lives in Canada…

  20. smh

    September 18, 2015 at 8:40 pm

    aunty, did you see this part (1% of the guys that are faithful to their spouse)? if you are one of those useless girls running after him pls give us the full gist and stop dulling us.

    i see him as a guy that is focused and knows what he wants out of life;if not,please let us know if you and your friends have been servicing this young man for his lovely wife. until then,i will see him as part of the rare 1%.
    PS, As you are rolling your eyes,may they remain permanent for you o.

  21. Avu

    September 18, 2015 at 10:12 pm

    …Regardless of being together or not, a cheating partner will always do so.
    While I agree staying together in a marriage is better, it doesn’t stop infidelity. However, living apart doesn’t mean a marriage is on a trip for wreckage.
    There are many homes in this situation and they are handling it well. It is not the worst thing couples have had to manage in relationships.

  22. nene

    September 18, 2015 at 10:50 pm

    i just don’t understand long distance marriages. in my opinion, it almost never works. these two just got married and barely spend time together. me i don’t know oh, but i don’t understand this type of love or marriage.

  23. momo karbo.

    September 19, 2015 at 12:23 am

    An accident waiting to happen. Let’s get on with it. Everyone seems to shy away from the main point, which is, will either side be sleeping with someone else, cuz i hate that stupid infantile thing about cheating, i categorically say yes. If you are still chasing your dreams, then you don’t have to be married. I don’t regret sounding the alarm. Nobody cheats when they are using their own equipment to do the job. If you think this is farfetched, just look at the recent scandal that just erupted, from the hacking of this, mmmm elite dating website, where you have some, 30million married people from all walks of life, meeting to have their freak on. Allison Madison. There we go. When the cat is away, the mouse is definitely going to play. Ah don say my own.

  24. Felinda

    September 19, 2015 at 3:18 am

    So OC seems like a decent guy who to smh, will never cheat on his wife , so what about the wife who stays in cold ass Canada (Canada is extremely cold sha and cyber sex via skype can’t heat the body) does SHE also “seem” decent. Whatever the FCK “Seem Decent” means

    • smh

      September 19, 2015 at 3:37 pm

      as you know…she’s nothing like you. there are normal people that can go years without thinking about sex or the next person to cheat with. if you are a cheat,pls pls pls speak for yourself.
      we’re not all useless like your type.and yes…she is a decent woman too

  25. NaijaPikin

    September 19, 2015 at 4:54 pm

    Ok his wife is a doctor in Canada. Perhaps she’s trying to finish her residency before moving back to naija.
    We should learn to mind our business. Clearly it a difficult decision to make, why are naija pple making it worse

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