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“How to Deal with a Cheating Spouse?” Joro Olumofin’s Married Fan of 30 Years Dishes Advice



Joro OlumofinPsychologist and now blogger Joro Olumofin shared this advice from a married woman of 30 years on how to deal with a cheating spouse.

The summary? Focus on yourself.Joro Olumofin-1 Joro Olumofin-2



  1. Say wha?

    November 21, 2015 at 7:46 pm

    How does this agbaya have fans? Wonders shall never end!

    He needs to quit this endless pointless quest for relevance and find something else to do with himself.

    • Lol

      November 21, 2015 at 8:12 pm

      I join you wonder too oh! Mr Joro Joro.

    • Tari

      November 22, 2015 at 10:04 am

      You actually believe this was written by anyone else but Joro?
      Must be a fictitious reader’s response for the sole purpose of massaging his ego.

  2. PD Young Billionaire

    November 21, 2015 at 7:48 pm

    So true!

  3. Natu

    November 21, 2015 at 7:51 pm

    Stupid advice coming from a woman with low self esteem.

    • anonymous

      November 22, 2015 at 12:53 pm

      you are the stupid one. she just gave a damn good advise. you are not married hence you would not get it now. Many women have lost their minds ,lives because of a cheating spouse. if u cant grab one child shut up

    • Natu

      November 22, 2015 at 5:46 pm

      You can keep that stupid advice as well. Foolish woman!!!! Of course you agree with her. Bunch of low self esteem women

    • Teris

      November 23, 2015 at 9:45 am

      honestly curious, why is the advice stupid and what wud u advise?

      it is probably a bit unfair for her to tag every single man a cheat in the man-woman business, and it is annoying to advise that one caters to a cheat (but there is a logic to that if one has the grace for it) but fake-post or not, it’s pretty sound advice that womenfolk shud think on.

    • Esther Nky

      November 23, 2015 at 11:19 am

      Girlfriend i think u r d stupid woman. am sure u r nt married n am sure u r one of dem babes who goes after married men., wrecking homes. u r sooo brainless. A woman who is old enough gave u a best advice n ol u can tell her is stupid advice blah di blah. well mayb u r the low self esteem idiot. that advice d woman gave am sure that most mothers can not give deir daughters. abeg arrange ursef well. FOCUS ON UR LIFE.. MSCHEWWWW

    • Natu

      November 23, 2015 at 11:32 am

      @ eather Age ain’t nothing but a number. She should be mature enough to know her self worth . She acting like a liability. Women are assets!!! Know thy worth!!
      Ps i do not chase married men. Why would I do that? Is it for money? I got it!!! I have everything I need in life and more.

    • Esther Nky

      November 23, 2015 at 4:34 pm

      @natu, my name is esther n not eather. yes age is nothing but a number, that is why u commented childishly and the woman advised with wisdom.

    • Natu

      November 24, 2015 at 12:12 am

      @eather you can wipe my -!!!

    • Princess Chioma

      November 24, 2015 at 1:26 am

      @Natu – You must be 17yrs old.. I mean how F****** rude!!! The lady just gave a wise advice. I mean u can hv all the beauty and self esteem in the world but when u love someone and he or she dont appreciate it by having affairs with other pple, u wud begin to question ur looks. Stop trying to act all tough. We are humans that can be easily broken if we meet the right(wrong) candidate!! You owe the lady an apology for ur insensitive and childish comments. No manners whatsoever!! Your mother would be ashamed of u and the level of low cells in ur brain!! Goodness

    • Natu

      November 24, 2015 at 8:13 am

      How dare you bring up my mother? You do not know me from a can of bean. You really do not want to gas me up. I will get your arse all they way together. Yes i am 17 years old and I have more self esteem than you and that lady. I know my worth.!!! I am a queen and any man that dates me is lucky. Now, go and find your worth.

    • Teris

      November 28, 2015 at 6:16 pm

      @Natu hahaha “…
      from a can of beans…”
      i surely hope Princess C. can tell u apart from a can of beans.

  4. Kaetochukwu

    November 21, 2015 at 7:51 pm

    The best answer: Finish the man, chia turn him to dustbin passively until his back to the bottom, where you both started from. To the man; now start from the bottom with all your hoes( or what not)- impossible! because these hoes ain’t loyal, he gon learn how he let a good woman of value down. In the process you have scared him never to cheat again because the next might not give him a second chance to hurt another again.
    Cheat on him too. ( do me I do, man no go vex)
    Divorce but that’s to easy.
    Enjoy the ride. Power to the women. If you are religious, there’s somewhere in the bible that supports this notion. With God all things are possible?.

  5. Lotusflower

    November 21, 2015 at 7:57 pm

    This is what happens when you have zero self-respect and low self-esteem: you advise women to stay married to a chronic philanderer for 30-plus years. “I spent decades of my life trying to stop him from cheating”… “Hate won’t change him but push him further.” Ma’am, your own advise isn’t working. It is clear from your post that he continues to cheat and you will continue to stay, unhappily.
    -“Continue to nurture him”. Again, ma’am, your nurturing has done absolutely nothing. He has been cheating for decades!
    Stop giving bad advice. The only tip that you should be giving women is to get out/ run while they still can!
    Who will take advice from a woman who has spent decades nurturing, loving, and chasing a cheater? SMH

  6. Me

    November 21, 2015 at 8:00 pm

    It seems like no one is happily enjoying their marriage these days… *sighhh* I’m so scared of getting married, when other girls are killing to get married, I’m honestly very scared and not so interested because my life is going so well, I don’t want one arsehole to come into my life and turn it upside down 🙁

    • Lol

      November 21, 2015 at 8:11 pm

      Hahaha, your last 2 lines got me laughing.
      I am sure it is not all bad, just that naturally one tends to hear more about bad stuff than good, it’s just the way life is. Don’t give in to your fears dear.

    • Maggie

      November 22, 2015 at 1:08 pm

      Am 23, a doctor and I’ve never even had sex with anyone, I’ve dated 2 guys but without sex, you all know how it ends up, my dear am happy without the marriage fever. Everyone married is so unhappy, before we single girls lose hope, the people with happy marriages that does not involve “worshipping a cheating man for 30yrs”, please share ur stories. This writer above is a pot of hot mess.

    • Swizzey

      November 24, 2015 at 2:03 am

      Do not allow the horror stories of marriage make you afraid of taking the plunge, nobody fears God these days hence you see married men/women engaging in adultery . I will say however that we have good stories out there, marriage is a sweet albeit bumpy ride, but if GOD is the foundation you won’t have any regrets.

  7. southerbelle

    November 21, 2015 at 8:18 pm

    ladies the sooner you realise the better.
    your health and your sanity is more important!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    When he cheats. You cheat too not with a man but by doing things to develop yourself and if possible without his knowledge .
    Keep fulfilling your marital duties but please if he is having unprotected sex then you gotta protect yourself.
    Having said that.Be proactive,Engage your mind and senses, Eg: travelling,learning a new language,exercise classes anything to keep you sane just keep thyself busy so you won’t run mad trust me when you pay less attention to his ways he will start paying attention to you. No come die because of man #myopinion


      November 25, 2015 at 4:37 pm

      @southerbelle. You just said my mind. life is too precious and sweet to die over one cheating husband.

  8. Segi

    November 21, 2015 at 8:26 pm

    Ma’am can you help some of us to understand what your gain in your 30 year old marriage has been if 1) You’ve been loving and seeking to change a chronic cheat at the detriment of your own happiness and sanity. 2) You’ve had to seek outside your marriage for happiness – through social activities. I’m sorry but I don’t subscribe to your bs, what if you slump and pass on, and you’re being asked at the pearl gate to account for your life on earth, how would that narrative be – I endured bs to make someone else happy or I lived, loved and was well loved back in return?

  9. Olayemi

    November 21, 2015 at 8:42 pm

    Thank goodness, cheating is so easy for women nowadays. Sit down there and be crying every night and writing sob stories. 30 yrs of your life wasted. Hian!

    • Tim

      November 22, 2015 at 10:22 am

      Madam, when u marry a man and he messes up you don’t fight the man but you fight the source of his messing up. It’s like cutting your head off because you have a headache. The man, like it or not is the head of the home. You protect your head. You don’t attack it. Have you ever seen living thing without a head. Without your man your family is dead. It’s better you stay single forever than start a family and decide to attack or cut off the head. Do your own role in the family. That’s all.

    • Gold digger

      November 22, 2015 at 1:25 pm

      Wtf? are you ok?

  10. MaryAnn

    November 21, 2015 at 9:14 pm

    I’m so impressed with the comments, its abt time we realise that no man is worth wasting ur time, prayers and emotions over when he treats u like rubbish. Yes! There r definitely some good and faithful men out there, dnt waste time nuturing the. Confused and unappreciative ones.

  11. Ranti

    November 21, 2015 at 9:40 pm

    Its a sign of inferiority when people say that”all men must cheat” As a mother yourself, would you look at the son you are raising and say “this boy will cheat when he gets married”. So u have agreed that all your labour over him will be fruitless because he is a destined cheat. Please, let’s be slow to generalise based on our experiences

    • Tosin

      November 21, 2015 at 11:19 pm

      hmm. hmm. i won’t advice anyone to assume sha o. Just probabilistically. And if it does happen, I will advice chill. And if you like too, don’t chill.

  12. Amh

    November 21, 2015 at 9:49 pm

    Why not cheat with a young guy and feel better with yourself. Financial independence is the h3st weapon. Look good. Have little fun
    30 yrs of misery. When she can do someone else too. Oshioda.God forbid bad thing.

  13. mamacita

    November 21, 2015 at 10:12 pm

    It will be nice if women who have been married for at least 5 years can be the commentators. This is a woman who lives in a society where being alone at a certain age comes with stigma and where most men of her generation are allowed to stray a little. I do not support cheating by any means but I get her struggle.

  14. zsa Zsa

    November 21, 2015 at 10:58 pm

    I have been married for almost 7 yrs and i have to say i disagree with point #5. If you have been nurturing him and loving him and he still had to nerve to cheat…how do you continue to love and nurture a man who has decided to disrespect you and the vows you both took?
    NOT ALL MEN CHEAT, pls stop spreading this fallacy. Stop filling the heads of young single men and women with these lies. You make that crucial decision to spend the rest of your life with someone only to set the bar so low from the jump, what do you expect?
    Its almost like telling your child “hey child i love you and hope you do well in school but I’m not expecting you to because….” do you think that child would put in their best at school? or would the child simply say “mum/dad is not expecting me do well so i’ll just chill instead of reading my books”.

    Expect more from your partners. You are giving your body and life to this person, don’t go into a relationship with the mindset of a looser”he/she will cheat anyway”. Please!

  15. Tosin

    November 21, 2015 at 11:17 pm

    def. find a hubby or distraction. if that fails, a hobby will do. Ma’am, thank you for sharing.

    • Emy

      November 22, 2015 at 7:41 pm


  16. jide

    November 21, 2015 at 11:59 pm

    Why is joro, of all peole, talking again? Serious side-eye

  17. Babe

    November 22, 2015 at 1:30 am

    I’ve only been married for 11 months, I must say my marriage has been a blessing to me. I’m so so happy with my husband such an amazing guy. I always feel bad when I read about cheating husbands. Dear God, pls don’t allow me go thru this o. May my marriage remain sweet and even sweeter with each passing day!!!

  18. May

    November 22, 2015 at 1:58 am

    I thought I was reading the “Hubby” part wrong o….. lol. After 30yrs you now realize all these okay oh…… Ese ma

  19. ...just saying

    November 22, 2015 at 2:30 am

    She lost me at all men will cheat at one point. Let it stop already! I know your father cheated, husband andd brother cheats but those are just the people around you. How many men do you kno to speak for all? ALL MEN DON”T CHEAT. ARGGGHHHH!

  20. Nahum

    November 22, 2015 at 5:13 am

    Where are the women that were supporting Huddah’s statement? Abi don’t you think all men cheat again? Look at your sister that wasted 30years of her life loving a cheating man….has her day of joy come? Has God vindicated her? Make una dey dere dey play Captain-save-a-ho to a whoring man, waiting for God to vindicate you. God no send you message o.

  21. O~Intuition!

    November 22, 2015 at 8:04 am

    Joro Olumofin… Subtly Promoting Low/Poor Self-Esteem and No Self Respect… SINCE 2014

    Why should one gender hold put the other at RISK ( Trust me HIV is still ‘scary’ regardless of the advancing medications…. ASK CHARLIE SHEEN!. Talk more of Hepatitis or Herpes).

    Marriage is not Selfishness. Treat one another as you would like to be treated…. IT SHOULD BE MUTUALLY Beneficial !

    Why Waste your Life in a Parasitic Relationship.

  22. BuchyO

    November 22, 2015 at 9:32 am

    And that was how my mother stayed “nurturing, loving and praying for her cheating husband”…while he abused her physically, mentally and emotionally; she stayed…praying, loving and nurturing…until she died at 45! Today, her husband (my father) is married again…to another woman who stays loving him and also praying for him…I guess her saving grace is that he is much older now (70-something), so doesn’t have the strength and vigor anymore for his past shenanigans ! I was 14 when I lost my mum! Madam, with all due respect, NO WOMAN should have to go through that!!!

    • Ogochukwu Nwosu

      November 22, 2015 at 9:42 pm

      This touched me, am sure she’s in a better place. You are so right, no woman deserves a cheating husband

  23. Tim

    November 22, 2015 at 10:36 am

    All you women here that think marriage is a fun ride. Better stay single oooo. If man toast you, Just tell him you’ll cheat on him if he cheats on you and that you’ll bring him back to square one if he messes up. I can assure that you’ll all live long and maybe happy lives as single moms or just single. No man wants that S#*t from a woman he calls a wife either. That’s what you want ain’t it ? To be happy right. Hahahah. You all will be useful should we decide to spread some royal oats. Lmao. Happy Sunday 🙂

  24. anti-Tim

    November 22, 2015 at 11:44 am

    Take several seats Tim. The women here are referring to men not boys

    • oluty

      November 22, 2015 at 2:00 pm

      Good luck on that , all men are boys with less exuberance. Just give them a chance as a wife to imagine another babe, then you will know the true meaning of better ,for worse. I think these stupid sentiments above is the reason why divorce is on the rise. I wish you luck ladies, your ego and lack of wisdom will build you that fantasy you call blissful married life.

    • Zsa Zsa

      November 22, 2015 at 10:44 pm

      Divorce is on the rise because women finally realize they are not robots and have genuine feelings? don’t want to get an STD or HIV? don’t want to raise their kids in a house of lies? no longer want to be unhappy? and this is a bad thing because????

      My sister in law is in her 50s. She endure YEARS of her husbands philandering including the gift of multiple STDs from her husband. They are childless today because of her exposure to those STDs from her loving husband, she knew this for years but kept it to herself while she prayed for her husband to change his ways. Now she hates him, she’s in a constant state of depression, he’s never home and all my husband keeps saying is if only she had let him sooner….but hey, she is the wise one right? He cheated multiple times but she did the right thing and stayed, she prayed…and prayed…and prayed….

    • nala

      November 23, 2015 at 1:23 am

      You are very stupid sha! So wisdom from a woman is allowing her husband cheat. You are a foolish boy!!!

    • Nuna

      November 23, 2015 at 8:48 am

      Do you think divorce is so scary??? My fren pls gerrarrahia. Women have realized that we dont need to take s-t from ur lazy asses anymore. I was happy when I was single and you think I will settle for less all in the name of I want to be a mrs. Miss me with that bulls-t

  25. Aisha Shettima

    November 22, 2015 at 12:19 pm

    Unbelievable that a matrimonial veteran of 30+ years would give such horrible advice. If a woman can be faithful to one man, there’s no reason we should expect any less from a man. You are an adult, not a he-goat in perpetual heat. Control yourselves!

  26. Aisha

    November 22, 2015 at 12:43 pm

    How do you nurture a grown man who has refused to put on his big boy pants? You are simply enabling his bad behavior by staying and praying for him madam. Why don’t you channel your prayers to yourself and kid(s)? Or aren’t you worth it? What has staying in a cancerous marriage done for you? Where is your self worth, self esteem? Where are your boundaries and why in hell do you not enforce them? Oh! It’s because you have none! And because he knows there are none, then there are also no consequences for his actions. It is that simple. Madam, you will neither be awarded a trophy for staying in your Jurassic marriage nor will you be imparting any sense of worth or self love to those around you. Marriage is meant to be enjoyed and not endured. Please go back to the drawing board, find out who you really are and where you want to be, have a road map, call your man-child husband and have a talk with him and let him be aware that there will be consequences if he continues in his ways. If he insists on being a philanderer, then he must face the consequences and you madam; should walk the hell out of his life without looking back. There is nothing wrong in wanting to be happy. You deserve to be. As for this Joro guy, let’s just say that I pity whoever is unfortunate enough to want to snag the Mrs. title and walk the aisle with him, that’s if it hasn’t already happened.

  27. Concerned

    November 22, 2015 at 1:33 pm

    It’s amazing what low view we have on men: “all men will cheat at some point”, translates to me that all men are inherently bad people, because cheating is a BAD thing. I do not want to believe that my father, or brother or cousins are bad people. Call me naive, but have we considered that “it happens all the time” is a case of self-fulfilling prophesy. Why do we have to sell men so short, and keep perpetuating the lies that society has created. Also, can we also try to stop giving women “advice”, let’s start to publish advise to men about how to value the women in their lives and maybe there will be less heartache in this world.

    • Ross

      November 22, 2015 at 7:27 pm

      Thank you jare. These old school women bring up their daughters to believe men are useless and then people wonder why our society is the way it is today. Women with low self esteem have this expectation because they don’t aspire to anything noble. Then they go round touting this saying of ‘all men cheat’. It is a LIE and people need to stop selling this trash to young girls. There are decent men out there, but if women are already pre-programmed to only ever expect the worst of them, these men will never live to their full potential, as a man becomes what his woman see’s in him; and the African woman needs to wake up and realise she holds the key to whether or not her man reaches his full potential as a decent human being.

  28. F.N Nwapa

    November 22, 2015 at 1:47 pm

    I have been married 9 years and everytime I say to someone my husband has never cheated, I can feel the yimu they really want to unleash a mile away.
    I have come to understand a lot of our women expect no better and the men have been taught that they are no better.

    My husband does not cheat because I am the most beautiful woman or we are still madly in love, It has nothing to do with me, it is a decision he came to by him about the kind of man he wants to be.

    I am 31, married young because we met when I was 16, and when you’ve been married for a long time it’s not quite as exciting as it was in the beginning

    So my husband and I talk alot about the people we are attracted to. It’s just for fun- means nothing. We don’t lie about being attracted (physically) to other people.

    The other day I had to stay home to wait for someone from the energy company change the meter and when I opened the door I was blown away.

    The guy was a bloke.

    I called my husband on the phone so fast telling him all the things I has thought when i opened the door and how I wish I had liver to talk like a milf in a porno. When the guy said ‘I’m here to fix your meter, I should have said seductively “you can fix anything of mine you want to baby”

    We spent 5 mins laughing at the scenerio because it’s a joke. It ends there .

    Our relationship is like this where he will let me know about someone he thinks is hot. He would never act on it and neither would I.

    The problem is people keep thinking only men have sexual appetites that need to be sated by multiple partners when only religion and cultural expectations hold women back.

    If my husband cheats on me, truthfully I don’t know what I would do, but I would be disappointed he could give up so easily our friendship of over 15 years, because we would never be able to laugh together like two complete idiots again.

    I think he would miss that as much as I would too.

    • Meah

      November 22, 2015 at 4:09 pm

      So do you go everywhere with him.
      Madam you have a good man,but don’t swear with your life on the cheating part.
      I love your positive spirit also

    • Ike

      November 22, 2015 at 5:26 pm

      Oh shut it…keep propagating your all men are cheats belief and see who you end up with.

  29. Ike

    November 22, 2015 at 5:28 pm

    You are all kinds of an idiot.So divorce is on the rise not because men are acting out,but because they are being held accountable for their actions???Like are you serious?Dumb man or whatever sex you are.To the left,Ram!

  30. F.N Nwapa

    November 22, 2015 at 5:39 pm

    Yes. I follow him everywhere. I sit outside his office and slap any nearby females because I desperately need a man to validate me, and the loss of this one man would just finish me off.

  31. Babe

    November 22, 2015 at 6:39 pm

    My opinion ? Realistically, most married Nigerian men cheat or will cheat at some point or the other in their lives. One of the reasons is because traditionally, cheating is not a big deal in Nigeria as it has little or no consequences; also there are a lot of desperate ladies who don’t mind being second wives and side chicks. But married men in advanced countries with working laws know the consequences, thus cheating is quite minimal. How many white men have you seen that have two wives at the same time? or cheat without remorse or respect for their wives ? And you dare not mess with those oyinbo women. They will ruin you, take almost all you have, you will pay child support tire, some women even use the kids against their father, etc. Nigerian women just started wising up and leaving bad marriages.

    I think if your husband cheats, you guys should talk it out especially if he’s a good man or/and kids are involved. But if he doesn’t stop and it becomes incessant, then you can walk, before you catch something. Also don’t forget prayer is very important and it works.

    • Abi

      November 22, 2015 at 11:45 pm

      Ode comment. A man who wants to cheat will cheat irrespective of his color or race. There are many Nigerian men who have purposed in their heart never to cheat on their wives and same goes for some men in other nations of the world. Not ALL men cheat and cheating has nothing to do with nationality, race or color.

  32. Alem

    November 22, 2015 at 7:23 pm

    I seriously LOL at your comment! I tire for people continuously saying men must cheat. Some women without self esteem that are only validated by the men they are with smh for all of ya. My take, believe the best, but if he disappoints for any reason just think of what would happen to you if the situation were reversed and act accordingly. Even the bible states that infidelity is grounds for divorce. Oh that’s unless you want to do 50yrs a slave as @ Natu commented somewhere

    • Alem

      November 22, 2015 at 7:24 pm

      This comment is for FN Nwapa

  33. Mike orishaguna

    November 22, 2015 at 7:57 pm

    I dare you to do a lie detector test for Nigerian married men and ask them if they have ever cheated on their wives. It should be done in a church, include the pastors and the workers. The result would shock you and will settle this arguement once and for all. The nigerian society encourages polygamy, we are Africans who have imbibed a foreign culture.

    Ask yourself, what would my husband lose if I divorce him. Maybe if more women were independent things might change.

  34. emily

    November 22, 2015 at 8:28 pm

    One of the most stupid comments ever posted on this blog is that of oluty!!! Omg

  35. Ibi

    November 22, 2015 at 9:17 pm

    My friend shared a theory she had with me, that the earlier the age at sexual debut, the more likely they will cheat. don’t know sha but it just seems like men are cheating up and down the whole place. Is it so hard to choose to be faithful to one

  36. bisisexy

    November 22, 2015 at 10:14 pm

    @ Natu, u are stupid for calling the woman low self esteem woman, u aren’t all dat pple like u will beg guys, babe’s finer and beta Dan u have a crush, so who are u?wat if she truly loved her hubby?n he kips breaking her heart? U never know wat love is? I have been tru dis loving deeply, I didn’t know life isn’t abt love it’s abt d game, I can even advise pple on how to know who likes u,and so on

    • Natu

      November 23, 2015 at 1:22 am

      She has a low self esteem like most you women on this site. Most of y’all have zero self love , respect and dignity!!! Darling, I am not stupid!!! I am everthing you wished you were!!!

    • princess

      November 24, 2015 at 10:47 am

      @Natu you really equal a nincompoop!!! Goodbye Beans sorry child.

    • nikky

      November 23, 2015 at 9:46 am

      My dear, i have loved deeply too, Didnt want to ask for money and all that cos my love too deep. took his nonchalance all for love. but the minute boo cheated, darling i asked him for a huge sum of money and said will pay back, took it and walked away and never looked back. He doesnt have the liver to ask for it cos he knows he was an asshole. I can payback the money but i just wont cos i will feel stupid.
      You dont get to waste years of my life, cheat on me and go scott free. I even wanted to sleep with his bestfriend but i realised i didnt want to be that girl.

      I feel the reason why the lady in the post stayed is cos she isnt financially independent. You see she keeps emphasizing that women should get banked.
      No reason to stay with someone who will continually cheat on you. Once might be a mistake but dear, you will know the minute your husband starts taking you for granted. All women know this, so stop pretending and saying you love him. You know he is becoming an asswipe but you too scared to go.

    • terrible person

      November 23, 2015 at 12:12 pm

      u are a terrible person, yourself!

  37. Zsa Zsa

    November 22, 2015 at 10:18 pm

    You made absolutely no sense. Try again.

  38. bisisexy

    November 22, 2015 at 10:23 pm

    @, Mike it’s not abt women being independent it’s d society,most babe want to b married, no matter how rich, dey are financially dey aren’t satisfied

  39. bisisexy

    November 22, 2015 at 10:34 pm

    Just read oda posts, I believe if tings don’t work out,its better, u walk out of the relationship, y wait for 30 yrs ?

  40. Esther Nky

    November 23, 2015 at 11:29 am

    I laugh at sooo many responses here, smh. The woman only shared her life experience and yet wht most of u can do is to castigate her for giving u one true advice. see cheating comes in various forms n not just sleeping with a gender. Cheating can come in either words or action n i repeat when u r a married man, the tendency for u to cheat is very highy cus dt is when ol dem babes see dt u r now responsible n den dey chook deir head to enjoy with u. Some men mayb sooo disciplined n yet they cheat. Pastors also cheat. So ol we can say is we pray that our husbands do nt cheat or any babe to break ur home. if u feel less concerned in praying for ur husband’s love or attn, den am sorry that ur home is shaky. Men can b coded to the last dt u wud not suspect. u can never tell if ur hubby is cheating on u cus ur nt with him 24/7 . Just go on ur knees n pray for ur marriage n ur husband to return home to u in love. Cus one day dt hubby u feel can never cheat, wud suprise u. Thank u

  41. MEE

    November 23, 2015 at 1:32 pm

    You can’t be serious. So just because she’s old enough that automatically makes her advice sound?? She has still has some growing up to do, else she would have value for herself. That woman obviously has been miserable for the greater part of her marriage, 30 freaking years!! It’s too many years wasted in which she could have made a good impact. I don’t know of any woman who is genuinely happy with a cheating spouse. This notion that women must condone cheating is wrong. If it were the other way round, I don’t think her husband would “nurture” and love her the way she did to him. Distracting yourself from a problem doesn’t get rid of the problem, nor does it take away the misery the problem brings. It’s self deception. Please women find your purpose, find something worthwhile to do with your lives before and even in your marriage. God has a lot more in store and I know dearly that this is not his intention for marriage.

  42. Christycel

    November 23, 2015 at 4:46 pm

    I still stand and believe all men don’t cheat, if we keep saying they cheat they will feel they lack self control. Men can and do have self control please. And i know a few that have not cheated on their spouse and i pray strongly for them to continue in that line

  43. princess

    November 24, 2015 at 10:42 am

    @Natu… Yes i do not know u from a can of beans cause you are a BEANS!!! From your language and age, its obvious u are just a can of beans with lots of worms in it and like i said if ur mum knew what her 17yr old was up to, she wud be disappointed and wud probably whoop ur behind. Pls go and educate urself and leave this forum for matured sensible pple!!! Self=worth no be for mouth. Pple with selfworth and other great qualities usually dont bark. So sit in ur room and question ur so called self worth…. Can of BEANS!!!!

  44. Koffie

    November 25, 2015 at 5:38 pm

    I think the woman was basically saying if she had been wiser earlier, she wouldn’t have spent the better part of her youth running from church to mountain to make him change so much so that she lost her beauty, social life and health. And advising younger women not to go that route but to acquire independence such that they won’t be scared of walking out if shit hits the roof. And we all know in truth that most women of her age wouldn’t advise you selflessly, they’d tell you to do what they did; pray, fast, see pastor, fast some more all for your ‘Head’. She’s actually realistic in telling women to not lose themselves in those religious activities (like her being known at redemption camp etc). And I’ve actually seen such women ditch make up and jewelry with the high hopes that their Mary Amaka looks will move God faster in stopping the infidelity. At some point they ask why the hell they didn’t have the balls to walk out while they still had their youth.
    So yeah, the woman in the fan letter may sound like she’s consoling herself with the “all men cheat” but I’m happy she’s gotten her life back (learning a sexy language, gbogbo e) and not building it around her husband’s penis, lol.. If you’re praying from mountain to church and back to ‘ori-oke’, at least be praying for your kids to turn out better than you and praying for yasef.
    I don’t think my dad has ever cheated on my mum since dem born me (maybe before me) cos my amebo when I was little no be for here but still, I admire the fact that she’s in her 50s and still pursuing a life of her own going for PhD classes as a retirement plan, being in a book club and writing her own book while still calling me to teach her how we ‘sisi’ dey draw our brows, haha. And to be honest, if he does cheat on her now, I doubt she’d leave. She’d probably make a deal with him and be housemates.

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