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Frances Okoro: 20 Reasons Why I Love My Mom



I was washing plates in the kitchen when some of my mom’s words started replaying in my head.
I laughed silently to myself and thought of writing 20 things that drive me crazy about her but ironically also make me laugh when I remember them.
No one is perfect but my mom’s idiosyncrasies just goes to show that there’s always something that stands everyone out from the crowd… and even when that thing drives you crazy when you are with them, you look back to times when they display that craziness and you can actually laugh because without that craziness they won’t be who they are to you.
On this special of her birthday February 20th, I would love to celebrate her by celebrating both her craziness and goodness.

So here goes 20 things my mom says/does… things that make us quarrel and argue when we are together… but cause me to break out in smiles when I think of her…

She can talk for Delta State
Case in point, the last soup I cooked in the house had a little mishap…
She: “You burn the soup? Wetin you dey do when e dey burn?”
And I’m giving excuses: “e nor burn, na the egusi…”
And she goes back to have her bath still talking about the burnt soup… *sigh*
Person nor go hear word for at least the next 30 minutes.

She contradicts herself a lot
She: As long as you are under my roof, you nor go do this one for here…
And I am like, “but you yourself have said that I am 24 and old enough to even give birth to 2 kids, how come you still don’t want to release me to make my own decisions on something as small as what Church to attend?”.

Her statements concerning husband and marriage
She: Shey Naso you go go do for your husband’s house?
Me in my mind: What’s this thing about husband and husband.
Free me ohhhh.

She still washes my clothes, even down to my bras
I don’t know how many moms still do this, but I can stay for a month at home and my hands never wash any clothes… my younger sister can’t even remember the last time she washed her own clothes… as long as she wants to wash her own clothes, she will pick up yours too without you even asking and this she does with no iota of ill-feeling whatsoever.
She just thinks “my baby would always remain my baby”.

The way she feeds me (us)
I go home like twice or once in a year and since I am on fit fam things, I usually go home slimmer than the she last saw me and because of her my fat/slim sef works in a cycle…
I stay fit and slim for the whole year but once I step my feet at home it’s banga soup and starch today, owho and eba tomorrow and she does this so happily, you can actually feel that my eating food gives her joy.
Before I left home, she deliberately went to the market to cook Egusi soup, saying “I want you to eat this before you leave”.
Ah, mammi me 🙂

Her sacrificial nature
My mom never buys anything and then eats it alone, she shares every single thing with us no matter how little it is.
Recently, God has been teaching me on how to be a wife and selfishness was one area He dealt with me on.
I can buy boli and fish and hide to eat it alone *covers face*… but studying my mom has made me realize that that’s not the way to go to become the amazing mother I want to be.

The way she says “I want to cook for my husband”
Sometimes you’d think that the children are not included in the family.
Why would she buy fufu and say “na only me and my husband I buy for, you and Wini should go and buy your own…”

To me, she absolutely makes my dad see that she still holds him in high esteem, despite the fact that they have kids together.
It’s a classic case of “it’s my husband first before the kids” and I know lots of women get it wrong in this area.
I have learnt this truth from her and hope to inculcate it in my home.

Her mouth-watering banga soup.
I have a friend who continuously reminds me to come home, so my mom can cook banga soup and then I should invite her to come and eat.
The entire house smells of delicious banga soup every time my mom cooks it… and I kid not. I can actually perceive banga soup as I type this, it’s that good.

Her funny mode of addressing issues
My mom would rather talk around the house than sit you down to address the misunderstanding you both had.
One matter will open other cans of worms…
As annoying as this can be, I find myself laughing about it when I am far away from her.
Like it actually tugs at my heart on a “this woman eh na character… kai!” level.
The good, the bad, they make up who she is and I appreciate her with the little “scion scion”.

Her neatness
She is neat to a fault.
She and my dad were separated for 14 years before they came back together and there was a day my dad was using her as an example to us…
He talked about how there used to be no grain of sand in their small room and parlor when they first got married.
How she would sweep when a guest came in and sweep when they leave… fold the clothes, do the cooking, keep the kitchen neat, etc.
Apart from realizing that the man was missing his wife *wink wink*… I also realized that I have to step up my game on being neat.
I am a disorganized somebody (this has a little to do with my personality I guess)… but little by little, my mom’s attribute inspires me to work on this area of my life.

Her love for Urhobo music
My mom would wake up in the morning and say “play that disc for me”.
It’s not the tush Urhobo music that Sammie Okposo sings oh, its the thick one that can only come out from Ughelli.
And she’ll dance and dance and turn up the volume… I’m like “mommyyyyy! please!”… but then she will not change from this so let’s just move along.

Her forgiving nature
I’d offend her, say something stupid, say I’m sorry and she’ll say “I nor dey vex, how I go vex for pikin wey I born?”
Full stop. Period.

Her massive distaste for anything torn/old/damaged
Hmm, if your beloved shirt is torn and you are planning to sew it, just don’t let my mom see it.
It just might get lost and never be found.
Ah, my mom just likes throwing things away.
You say what?
It’s torn and you want to sew it? Buy new one jor!
I will end here.

Her love for fine things
My mom will watch TV, see something, maybe fine plates set, turn to my dad and say “Naso I want my own to be, you go see nah, Ughelli go bow”.
At such times, I just smile and think this woman… God will bring your desires to pass.

Her funny prayers
Example: I set fire upon their anus…
My sister and I always laugh when we remember this… should we say amen or what?
I don’t know oh mommy.

Her vigilante eyes
My mom doesn’t sleep.
If you get up at night to drink water or urinate, she gets up too.
Please is it only my mom that does this detective business? Does your mom do it too? Let me know so my heart can be at rest please.

Her sharp instincts
I have learnt to listen to my mom when she says that she doesn’t like someone.
All the friends she was adamant about us having all turned out to be bad for us.
She has such a sharp instinct for not just her kids but for everyone we align with.

Her zero to none social media presence
My mom is not on any social media network.
Facebook, Twitter, Whatsapp…what’s all those?
She’s okay with having a phone to call just her personal people.

Her exclamations of “I dey my house”
My dad would bring up discussions of stuff happening in Nigeria, maybe on violence and after the merry go round of talks, my mom always makes sure to end with “na them sabi oh, I dey my house”.
It always makes me smile when I hear it. You dey your house ba? Who tell you say them nor dey their house too?

Her anticipation for my wedding day
I remember when I graduated from Law School, came home and my mom was so overjoyed… in fact, she was so overjoyed she wanted the next stage to come so quickly.
I had to sit her down, dim her joy a little bit and tell her “I can’t marry just anybody and she should please mellow down small”.

That conversation toned down her gyrating a bit… I appreciate her for understanding me and these days I even join her to say things like “my husband go do this or that”.
Or she’ll say “when you wan born, you go come our side for Omugwo nah..”
And we would actually sit and talk about such things.
I feel her on another higher level as I grow… and really, finally, all daughters become women and when we finally do, we understand the place our moms function from a little bit more.
Even the crazy things become peculiar things that make us smile.

It’s hard to imagine that I am the one writing this, years before now I used to be the stubborn girl who’d rant and rave at you… how naive!
Even till today I still slip and talk back to you but you never take it as anything…
I’d say sorry and you’ll say okay.
You are a mother indeed… I can never take that away from you.
And you do not know that I am watching, but I watch you, I see the way you act, your behavior, your attitude and I am picking the great things to inculcate.
There’s a lot of things I’m learning from you, things that will be of great use to me in the future.
Thanks for being our mommy!!!
And Happy birthday on this your special day Mrs Perpetual Okoro!
I let too many of your of birthdays go by without celebrating you and if the only way I can do this now is by using my gift of writing for you, then so be it.

I look forward to seeing the joy on your face as you carry Deborah, Daniel and David, your future grandchildren from me.
I pray God gives you life to enjoy the fruit of your labour through us, your children.

Love and lots of love,
On behalf of the Okoro family,
Your first Daughter,

Hephzibah Frances is a Lawyer and author currently based in Lagos Nigeria. She is an author of more than 15 books including the best-selling book “Prayers for your future husband”. She is a Voice for the Lord. She proclaims God to the Nations through her songs, books, podcasts, talk-shows, movies and the new media. Carrying God’s word to her generation on the wings of the wind. She is the founder of two women ministries, The Women At The Well and The Deborah Generation She is also the founder of Awakening Youthful Seeds For Christ Initiative a Non-Governmental Organisation focused on raising purposeful youths. She runs a business to help authors and aspiring authors BIRTH THEIR BOOK DREAMS at Beautiful Feet Publishing - Email: [email protected] for help with all things publishing and marketing your books. ***** KEEP IN TOUCH: Email her at [email protected] Follow Her On Social Media: On Facebook: HephzibahFrances On twitter @Hephzibahfran/ On instagram @hephzibahfrances Listen to her Podcasts At: Podcasts By Hephzibah Frances Watch her videos on her YouTube Channel at - Hephzibah Frances Read her blog at Download FREE eBooks written by her from here


  1. femfem

    February 24, 2016 at 12:32 pm

    Love you mum. She sounds amazing

  2. iyke

    February 24, 2016 at 12:50 pm

    Interesting read! It made me simile.
    Moms are fantastic…….Even when they’re spelt upside down they’re still WOW!
    My own mom is literally a part of me, a homemaker who loves to read, write and dance. Her sense of humor is bae (hate that word though). A really affectionate mother (I still sleep with her whenever she visits), who evokes awe, love, laughter and sometimes controversy.
    I love her because you can’t mess with me when she is around. That is not to say that I am mommy’s boy FYI.

    • Frances Okoro

      February 24, 2016 at 6:20 pm

      Wow Iyke..never thought of the upside down spelling!

      Your mom sure sounds amazing!
      And let’s not start on “the controversy” deal, my mom also invokes that A LOT! But still we #love, love them!

  3. Esinam

    February 24, 2016 at 1:00 pm

    Awww! This piece realy touched me. Even without knowing her,i love her already. I pray that God grants all her heart desires towards her children. And please don’t forget to to care for her. Buy her little gifts,they always appreciate it. When you can,build her a house and give her all the good things of life you can afford. She deserves it. Our African mothers are amazing. #ezigbo nne# Maami owon.#iyani wura

    • Frances Okoro

      February 24, 2016 at 6:21 pm

      Yes oh Esinam! I look forward to honoring her and popsi as God gives me grace to do so in the near future..amen!

  4. I'mJustSayn'

    February 24, 2016 at 1:01 pm

    “I set fire upon their anus” LOL!! AWW I miss my mom

    • Frances Okoro

      February 24, 2016 at 6:21 pm

      Haha I’mjustsaying… that prayer always has my siblings and I in stitches when we discuss my mom’s matter. hehe

  5. DIddy

    February 24, 2016 at 1:45 pm

    Amazing story, happy birth day to your comedienne mom, the thing abt moms is that even wen u r an adult, they still want to baby sit u,they like to whine u, stress u which is fun to most of us, they want u to act sometimes cos it actually keeps them going, sometimes when I do call my mum on phone, I call her by her name and she will laugh then remind me that is only her husband who happens to be my dad has the right to call her by her name and we just laugh abt it.

    • Frances Okoro

      February 24, 2016 at 6:23 pm

      Hey Diddy…I think as we grow, we just start relating with our moms on a higher closer level.
      and lool your mom…its true oh, it’s only her hubby that should call her by her name 🙂

  6. dera

    February 24, 2016 at 1:50 pm

    If I start talkin abt my mon I can go on and on abt her love her to heaven and bck

  7. layla

    February 24, 2016 at 2:02 pm

    amazing read, God bless your mum.

  8. Ivy

    February 24, 2016 at 2:17 pm

    Oh my! The prayer…..I set fire upon their anus… Kai! Warris dat? Lmao! My dad calls my mum Chief Security officer sef, the woman no dey taya to open eye, open curtain, check everywhere meanwhile dog dey outside dey sleep o! But that’s d best thing, all the late night eating and gisting (if my brothers are waking up, it’s definitely to eat)…….
    God bless Mrs. Okoro.
    God bless all mums

    • Frances Okoro

      February 24, 2016 at 6:24 pm

      Ah Ivy… that prayer is a loooong matter!
      let’s not get into it, e tire me sef

      And thank you for allaying my fears on my mom doing security things ohh! Your mom checks and checks too… mine doesn’t sleep!

  9. Tobi

    February 24, 2016 at 3:47 pm

    This was an interesting read and it got me feeling very sentimental. Shout out to your mom and my own mummy!

  10. Tosin

    February 24, 2016 at 5:30 pm

    awww. nice portrait.

    • Frances Okoro

      February 24, 2016 at 7:48 pm

      Aww thank you Tosin!
      Twas from my birthday in 2013

  11. Aleesha

    February 24, 2016 at 5:48 pm

    Your mom is awesome!! This was a heartwarming read. Made me feel like hugging your mom
    Where would we be without the love of these selfless angels called mothers?

    • Frances Okoro

      February 24, 2016 at 6:27 pm

      Truly Aleesha…now I understand better on the role mom’s play…
      My teenager self was simply annoyed a lot of times on stuff from her “drama”.
      Now I know mom’s are a blessing!
      God bless them all and keep them to for us!

  12. Honeycrown

    February 24, 2016 at 6:07 pm

    This was so touching! Lots of love to your momma ?

  13. Onyinx

    February 24, 2016 at 6:37 pm

    Awwwwwwww ds was beautiful 2 read….actuallly made me teary in a gud way. Our mothers are just d best in d whole world and I pray as we grow and birthh our children we can pass on those gud tinns we learnt. God bless all our mothers

  14. 'Diddie

    February 24, 2016 at 8:57 pm

    Lovely……very inspiring.. I can relate to this

  15. prissycute

    February 24, 2016 at 8:58 pm

    I regularly visit this blog but for no reason I never drop a comment but after reading this amazing piece of urs I had itching fingers
    I totally relate to the part “she can talk for delta” that’s just my and my siblings constantly tease her for that. I sense u luv u mom deeply,i pray she live to see ur. Danielle, Deborah and david.moms are just awesome

  16. Delta geh

    February 24, 2016 at 9:26 pm

    Great read! Your Mum sounds like someone I would love to meet. I bet I’ll be laughing the whole time. God bless her!

    • Frances Okoro

      February 24, 2016 at 10:09 pm

      I doubt if you’ll be laughing ohhh Deltageh..maybe you’ll laugh later when you leave her and you’re thinking on my time spent with her..
      May God help me see the humor in real-time, I always see it in hindsight

  17. Manny

    February 24, 2016 at 10:45 pm

    This was so refreshing to read. My new prayer point – I set fire upon their anus!!!

  18. Ernst

    February 25, 2016 at 2:30 am

    Woah.great read. I really enjoyed this.GOD BLESS YOUR MUM AMEN… Everyday I pray the GOOD LORD BLESSES MY MAMA AND. DADDY fOR ME AMEN…….

  19. jaybird

    February 25, 2016 at 10:17 am

    I enjoyed reading this. Reminds me of my friend’s mom,. I like that ughelli pidgin wella. I was reading it the way I imagined she would say it, got me laughing and all teared up…:-)
    “Ughelli go bow”
    “How I go vex for pikin wey I born”
    “U burn d soup…”
    Happy birthday to Ur momma. Many happy years to her…Amen.

  20. Nwuli Barbara

    February 26, 2016 at 4:02 pm

    HBD Frances’ Mum. God bless and keep her. I can also relate oh Frances. My mum has to be the greatest blessing to my family ever! I cannot imagine a world without her. Mrs Maria Nwuli (Ezinne) I doff my hat for you! God bless all Mothers.

    • Frances Okoro

      March 9, 2016 at 3:28 am

      Dofffing my hat for your mom too Barbara! 🙂

  21. Frances Okoro

    March 9, 2016 at 3:34 am

    Looool Jaybird..reading is more fun when we can hear the voice in our heads… 🙂

    Thanks for your wishes

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