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Jasmine Howson-Wright: Maturity Through the Eyes of Time

Foluke Jasmine Howson-Wright



Enough-3Time does a lot. Time heals; time strengthens; time grows; time tells the truth; and believe me, most times, what we sincerely need to mature, is time.

I really don’t believe that maturity comes with ‘age’. Naaah! Seriously, I understand better now than I could ever be thought. Age is nothing but a NUMBER! (No! This isn’t related to any cliché fairytale love story). It is fact! I believe maturity is a product of time (and of course the grace of God). Time allows for growth, learning, healing, empathizing, and just being truthful to one’s existence.

Our society is full of ‘adults’ who can’t or won’t take a break; put a pause on whatever circus goes on in their lives. Society is Full of those who haven’t allowed themselves time to breathe from the past. We have grown men messing around and grown women acting up. Men who will not heal from heart wrecking relationships; they then go on a ‘break the next lady’s heart’ rampage – looking for the next thing in a skirt to frustrate.

We have ladies, who won’t tell themselves the truth about their insecurities; women who won’t take the time to learn about themselves in order be strong for THEMSELVES and so are rather unapologetically dependent on what a man or the next individual can bring. Adults by age, who in reality are just KIDS!

There’s such a maturity that comes with healing. I mean. You don’t have a near death experience (like an accident) this minute and carry on with activities almost immediately? You’d die! It’s only expected you are given a time-out (a hospital sentence), to dress wounds, straighten fractured bones, recover. Then and only then, will you function normally, if not better. In fact, because of this one experience, you’d learn to be cautious about life, be observant, and empathize!
You see, then, playing foul games is a waste of time. Disregarding other human beings just because, won’t be needful. You begin to tell yourself the truth, you begin to think. You realize your vulnerability, so you caution your words and actions.

Because of time, you heal. You’re stronger. You grow-up. Life makes sense to you and so you can make sense of it for someone.

A lot of us “adults” need time to mature! We need to tell our thick brains the truth about who we are, so life can be a lot easier to live in… if not for us, then for the people around us.

It starts with me. How about you?


Photo Credit: | Nsoedo Frank

Foluke is unconventional. She is a Lagosian and holds a BS.c in International law and Diplomacy. An actor, writer, blogger, and host with a little more tricks up her sleeve. She is an optimist who loves God, food, love, life and the arts (however it is expressed) but is most passionate about writing and expresses herself best through it. She blogs at [email protected] Instagram: @jasminwryts Twitter: @JasmineH_W


  1. Mel

    March 27, 2016 at 8:36 pm

    so true,time has thought me to treat people exactly the way they treat me ,time has also thought me that people comes and goes and whoever leaves ur life is destined to leave so u dont need them,time has thought me to love myself first and foremost.

  2. ElessarisElendil

    March 27, 2016 at 9:11 pm

    But? But? don’t you age as time passes?

    So if maturity comes with time.

    And one ages as time passes.

    Then you mature with age.

    S/N I really love how each of your names can mean different things:

    Folu keh?

    Ja’s mine!

    How son?



    • Foluke Jasmine Howson-Wright

      Foluke Jasmime Howson-wright

      March 28, 2016 at 2:49 pm

      Hi @ElessarisElendil, thanks for the read and comment. You have a point but i tried to look at time not only in restrospect to seconds and minutes that is, growing older as time passes but also in the light of periods and moments that define or characterise every individuals life. We all will continously age until death, time makes certain this and you are right but also see time in context of moments and periods of one’s lives and a lot of adjustments can be made hence, we remain imature adults.

      Thats a first… Lol! cool. (@ my names).

      Thanks again.

    • Codayale

      March 29, 2016 at 6:43 pm

      “…In fact, because of this one
      experience, you’d learn to be cautious about life, be observant, and empathize!”
      Many of us need the near death experience (as explained in your article)to get tuned in the right direction- to learn, unlearn, get wiser & appreciate who we are and what God has committed into our hands-people, resources, ideas/skills. We move so fast on the wrong lane doing our own things & leaving the right things undone. We forget there is a vacuum we are here to fill, we neglect the master plan required to run the race of life.

      When we go through the process of maturity, we see clearer, better and make better decisions. God help us all.

      Jasmine, well done for this piece. More grace!

  3. angel

    March 27, 2016 at 9:56 pm

    Well said!

  4. A Real Nigerian

    March 28, 2016 at 12:20 am

    “I fear “mediocrity” so I strive
    on a daily, to be the best “me” I know exists
    LOOOL. How can you fear mediocrity when YOUR article is the very definition of mediocrity? This article is very very poor, the idea is unoriginal and the execution is terrible. You are not good at this at all. Maybe you are not passionate about writing, maybe you are just passionate about reading. Most Nigerians mistake the latter for the former, hence, the overwhelming number of two-bit articles on Nigerian blogs today. Every random person with average grammar who has read one or two books thinks he/she’s the next big thing. It doesn’t work that way. Not everyone who loves to read can write – most can’t actually.
    You either need to strive harder in order to turn all that passion into quality, or just quit.

    • Foluke Jasmine Howson-Wright

      Foluke Jasmime Howson-wright

      March 28, 2016 at 3:12 pm

      Thank you and duely noted.

    • blessing

      March 29, 2016 at 2:48 pm

      yo! am guessing your age does not do justice to your maturity, (I want to believe you are 18 +) you truly do need time to mature. I only pray that as you age, you mature, and learn to use your words wisely. don’t worry sha, time will teach you.
      Great article Foluke! may your thoughts be shared all over the world.

  5. ojima atawodi

    March 28, 2016 at 2:04 pm

    Go girl!!!!! I am so proud of you!!! This is only the starting point mami

  6. Lizie

    March 28, 2016 at 3:35 pm

    This is thought provoking stuff…keep it up!

  7. Cyril Ebeh

    March 28, 2016 at 5:30 pm

    More grease to your elbows hun. Cheers

  8. Newme

    March 28, 2016 at 6:05 pm

    God bless you for this article. This couldn’t have come at a better time for me. Having a humbling experience that shakes one to their very core, could be a real blessing in disguise. It does make us face our vulnerabilities and realize who the real power belongs to; who is really in control of our lives. This is one of the few articles on Bella Naija that has really resonated with me. It’s one of those articles where you have to be at a certain point in your life to “get it”. Thank God for the experience that made me finally get it. May we all be a lil bit kinder and a lil bit wiser.

  9. Ybbil

    April 10, 2016 at 5:54 pm

    You are a very horrid person. You could pass your point in a much better way than you just did. Be a better person, it starts with you

  10. Ybbil

    April 10, 2016 at 5:54 pm

    That was for A Real Nigerian

  11. Phemmy Id

    April 18, 2016 at 11:42 am

    Well done hunnay! Great work on an important matter, don’t let anyone talk you down. Keep up the work ????

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