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“Our boys matter and their futures matter” Kelly Rowland shares her Fears of Raising a Black Son in America



Kelly Rowland & her Son for Parents Magazine - BellaNaija - January 2016003

Recently during the Essence Fest in New Orleans, Kelly Rowland opened up about her fears of raising a black son in the U.S especially with all the recent killings.

The 35-year-old singer and mother of 18-month-old son, Titan, said

I remember being pregnant with Titan and the moment the doctor said ‘It’s a boy’ and there were all these shootings happening with our young men. I just began to weep.

I want to raise a great man with respect for himself and others, and to know who he is and to know what his surroundings look like. I just feel like there’s great responsibility, not just as parents but as a community in raising him.

I feel like our boys need to see it more. If our athletes and our actors and our executives speak up then they can see themselves and they can hear their stories and they can feel like ‘I’m closer to what he’s doing or I can do what he’s doing.’

Our boys matter and their futures matter and they are our future CEO’s and they can do whatever they put their mind to and we have to let them know that.

Photo Credit: Parents Magazine


  1. BAE

    July 22, 2016 at 11:13 am

    BN please post that UDUAK and MADONNA twitter shigengen mehnnnn apparently one of the is a law student in the UK

  2. keke driver

    July 22, 2016 at 12:30 pm

    Well Said dear.

  3. Engoz

    July 22, 2016 at 3:02 pm

    Her fears are understandable as a mother. Nevertheless, as a black female before going on an anti-police spree and participating in the street protests, I want to put it out there that a win for black man does not necessarily translate to a win for the black female. Black men have little or no allegiance to the black female. In fact the more successful the black male is, the more he looks down on the black female. He does not place her on a pedestal among other women. Black women have been known to put themselves on the line for the black male. After fighting for him, going militant and aggressive against his adversary and he wins he will remember that you are too aggressive for his taste, your skin is too dark, your hair is not straight. Most of the civil rights leaders didn’t marry black women, lmao.??? So before you go militant for the black male and waste your energy on a cause that will bite you in the ass, think on these things. Support them from afar only and let black men fight white men. Black women have also faced police brutality but I guess it’s not as ‘sensational’ as our ‘precious sons’. There was a renegade cop going around raping black women recently, I didn’t even hear of it until he tried it with a grandma and she won her suit against the cop. Black media didn’t even give it as much attention during the proceedings. But when it comes to our precious sons we will be time keepers from the beginning to the end.

    Anyway Bellanaija, did you hear of this menopause reversal breakthrough in science? It’s still in the early stage of research but shows promise.

    • Damilola

      July 22, 2016 at 10:33 pm

      I agree. Black women fight hard and stay committed to black men but it’s not reciprocated. This men can fight their own battles. They will be the first to disrespect black women, defend a white/non black woman first and then go out of their way to insult and disrespect black women in general. Just recently a top black basketball player threw a party and said “no black girls allowed”. I mean their foolishness is appalling and disgraceful. Black women have been fighting, supporting, pampering their sons and men to a fault. In this whole police brutality, it’s been mostly black women speaking up and condemning it.

      The prominent civil rights leaders married black women. Did they have white mistresses? That’s for another day. But most Hollywood famous black men back in the day married white women. Harry belafonte, Sammy Davis jr, Sidney portier, even Bill Cosby who married a black women most of his victims are white women. It’s like black men are cursed, they just can’t get their shit together. They only know how to use their penis especially African men. A continent with the most natural resources but nothing to show for it is baffling.

    • tunmi

      July 23, 2016 at 2:34 am

      Thank you!!!!!! It irks me to no end when you have yet again black women focusing only on black men. Madam, black women are being killed too but nobody protests for them. Where are the black men always touting their Beckys. Kúkú ask them to protest for you.

    • hezekina pollutina

      July 23, 2016 at 7:55 am

      Within African Diaspora, I agree with your perspective. That has been one of the significant casualties of “blackness” living in a white supremacist society – that “making it” has involved a “whitening” of self and to various degrees sacrificing of “blackness.” Especially in the pas, from the mind, body, and to everything else outward, success becomes really a battle to get away from the “bottom” – cuz within Western society’s social caste system (like in india) blacks are at the bottom. So if ur mind has been whitened (just by virtue of exposure to white supremacy), when u get educated or get financial success and start making it, u like everybody else work to “move on up” and get away from shame that is the “bottom.” You might try to whiten more on the outside like modify your body, change your neighborhood, socialize white, lighten your lineage by interracial marriage etc. You may distance yourself from “blackness” so you can “pass” up the ladder to enjoy more social privileges in white society or just to feel less shame. It is very deep. And we are just cracking the surface now of the whys of our behaviors. I think compassion is needed for our black men, at least understanding where stuff has come from We can do things more consciously now. Right now our house is divided.

  4. Seriously

    July 22, 2016 at 3:58 pm

    Kelly the goddess. Her baby will be heartbreaker. Please, dont break too many hearts o. Black mothers have to raise their sons to be aware that the society doesn’t favor them. However, they should also be more responsible and do better for themselves

  5. Lam Lam

    July 23, 2016 at 10:31 am

    Hi Engoz,
    I read your comment yesterday and i felt pressed enough to write back today. What i understand you to be calling for is dissension within an already disenfranchised and this serves no one. As a black woman, i think it serves the entire black race if we all stick together in this fight for social justice against the institutional devaluaion of black lives. No group of people , even fundamentally bound by certain values are without their internal conflicts of interests. I hear you when you say that black men are disrespectful to black women, but it is only a symptom of the social tragedies that have befallen the black community. This is no attempt to blame whites for all the problem POC face, but history shows that the white hegemony practiced for at least 4 centuries and (running) makes them definitely complicit.

    The media was rife with coverage of the events surrounding Sandra Bland’s death and a host of other female victims of police brutality and social injustice. Many civil rights leaders married black women as well. I find it disingenuous to say they didn’t. Examples are MLK, Malcolm, Medgar Evers etc.

    Don’t forget that just two weeks ago, a Nigerian man was killed in Italy for defending his woman against racially-motivated attacks on er person. There are still good black men.

    Also, i don’t think black men go after white women more than white women go after black women nowadays. I think our unity best serves us all.

  6. Lam Lam

    July 23, 2016 at 10:36 am

    *With an already disenfranchised sect.

  7. Lam Lam

    July 23, 2016 at 10:38 am

    I meant “Also, i don’t think black men go after white women more than white men go after black women nowadays”.

  8. Really?

    July 23, 2016 at 12:20 pm

    @Damilola, “”Just recently a top black basketball player threw a party and said “no black girls allowed”. “”
    If you have facts, name the basketballer! Why are you protecting him?

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